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QUOTE NUMBER : QUOTE
- 691 : Hey Fletcher, Have you lost weight?
- 947 : The pen is blue, the pen is blue, the GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!!!
- 1158 : Fletcher: The pen is blue. The pen is blue! THE GODDAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!
- 1263 : The boss is really riding me !
- 1531 : STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!
- 1714 : (1)New in the building?!,(2) yeah I just moved in last week, Everybody has been so nice to me.(1) Well that's because you have big jugs.
- 2957 : I changed lanes without signalling, while running a red light and speeding!
- 3004 : I'm kickin' my ass, do ya mind?
- 3005 : I'm kickin' my ass, do ya mind?
- 3142 : #1: Hey, Fletcher, what's up? #2: Your cholesterol, Fatty! Dead man walkin'!!!
- 4256 : I......CAN'T.......LIE!!!
- 5156 : There's nooooooooooooooooooooooooo such thing as a weaker sex.
- 5172 : WRITE IT... WRITE IT OR I'LL BREAK IT OFF!!
- 5183 : A goose.
- 5678 : Woman: How was it for you? Carey: I've had better.
- 6545 : 1. It's true, I really want to see Max today. How about that, I really do. 2. Yeah, and things keep coming up at the last minute right. 1. Yes, but this time it's different. 2. I see, and how is that? 1. Now I'm telling the truth. 2. And last night you weren't. 1. No 2. Well, WHAT WERE YOU DOING? 1. HAVING SEX!!! 2. Well, I hope that it was with someone, very special. 1. No, see thats the thing, I don't even like her, but she's a partner and I thought I could help my career by MAKING HER SQUEAL!!!
- 6699 : 1. YOUR HONOR, I OBJECT!! 2. and why is that? 1. BECAUSE IT'S DEVASTATING TO MY CASE!! 2. Overruled! 1. GOOD CALL!!!!!
- 7983 : It's the claw....
- 8474 : Whew... here goes! I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yeild at a crosswalk, I changed lanes without signaling, I changed lanes while running a red light and SPEEDING!
- 9248 : Yeah... in your bra!
- 9249 : Jordan fades back... swoosh! And THAT'S the game!
- 9250 : You wanna play hard ball? I'm game
- 11748 : 1- My daddy's a liar. 2- Oh you mean a lawyer. 1- Whatever.
- 12186 : Here she comes to wreck the day!! (sung in Mighty Mouse tune)
- 12187 : Here she comes to wreck the day!! (sung in Mighty Mouse tune)
- 12188 : 1: OK, I admit, at times he can be a little- 2: Magoo!
- 12189 : 1: Any change, sir? 2: Absolutely! 1: Well, could you spare some? 2: yes, I could! 1: Well, will ya? 2: (shakes head) 1: Why not? 2: Becuase I would like to get from my car to here without being confronted by the decay of Western society! Plus I'm cheap!! 1: Jerkoff!
- 12248 : ...so what I'm gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk, bend pver and take it up the tail pipe!
- 12339 : 1: hey, Fletcher, how's it hangin'? 2: Short, shriveled and always to the left.
- 12340 : What is WRONG WITH ME??!!! I'm getting what I deserve, I'm reaping what I sow, I'm--
- 12341 : I'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.
- 12342 : Jerry, enjoy my wife!
- 12343 : This contract is void! The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelivant!
- 12344 : 1: Your honor, I object! 2: To yourself? 1: Yes... but I would like to... rephrase the question.
- 12345 : 1: I just proposed a settlement to dick with them! 2: Dick with them. Got it.
- 12347 : 1: What's your problem, Shmuck? 2: I'm an inconsiderate prick!!
- 12380 : 1:Your honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break? 2: Can't it wait? 1: Yes it can. But I've heard that holding it can damage the prostate gland making it very difficult to get an erection or even become aroused! 2: Is that true? 1: It has to be.
- 12565 : 1: Hey, how ya doin'? 2: I've slipped into the seventh circle of hell, thank you.
- 12587 : NO! WE CAN'T START YET! MY CLIENT ISN'T HERE!....HERE SHE COMES TO WRECK THE DAY!
- 12627 : I'm kickin' my ass, do ya mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- 12630 : ADMIT IT! YOU STUFFED HER LIKE A THANKSGIVING TURKEY!
- 12850 : #1: Here it goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at an intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING! #2: Is that all? #1: No ... I have unpaid parking tickets!
- 12866 : I'm kickin my own ass!!
- 13946 : I'm kicking my ass, Do ya mind???
- 14171 : I love you. (takes a drink) Thank you.
- 15838 : A) How old are you now, 23? B) I'm 5, dad A) okay...take back the beer keg, cancel the dancing girls............
- 15955 : A) So what do you think of him? B) He's a padantic, pontificating pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a WORTHLESS STEAMING PILE OF COW DUNG, figuratively speaking
- 15958 : The boy must grow to be a warrior, and who better to guide him than Rick Rude and Randy Macho Man Savage in the Cage Of Death
- 16063 : A) You have to remember when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as much as you were B) Ouch! And the ref takes a point away
- 16178 : A) You look like you're having a rough day B) DING DING DING!!! WHAT DO WE HAVE FOR HER, JOHNNY?
- 16207 : A) How do you like my outfit? B) Whatever takes away the emphasis from your head
- 16228 : Where would Tina Turner be if she said 'Hit me again, Ike, and put some STANK on it' She'd be rollin' on the river, thats where...but she's beyond thunderdome
- 16375 : A) My friend had to pay the burglar six thousand dollars. Now I ask you, is that fair? B) No...I'd have got him ten
- 16406 : Have you been molested yet, because I could circle the block.
- 17310 : Short, shrivelled and always to the left
- 17317 : The colour of the pen is rrroyal blue
- 17389 : No one can stop the claw
- 17508 : Good thing i was wearing my neutral colors or else i would've had to pull out my nine and bust a cap!
- 18543 : A) You know what I'm gonna do? B) What? A) Nothing! Because if I take you to small claims court, it'll just drain 8 hours outta my day, and you probably wouldn't show up , and if I DID get the settlement I deserved, you'd just stiff me anyway, so what I'm gonna DO is piss and moan like an im-potent jerk, then bend over and TAKE IT UP THE TAILPIPE!!
- 18923 : I hold MYSELF in contempt, why should YOU be any different?!
- 18989 : Having my judgement mocked in my own courtroom is NOT something I'm prepared to tolerate!
- 19032 : A) What is it? B) It's a surprise, okay it's a pony, just open it!
- 21317 : A) You still gonna be Jose Canseco? B) Of course, who else is gonna hit that famous Nomo slider?
- 21983 : Ahhh its probably cause you got big jugs..... I mean your boobs are huge...... I mean, I wanna squeeze one!
- 21993 : "The pen is blue! The god damn pen is blue!"
- 22048 : I've eaten so much I'm just about ready to pop..... I mean, no thanks I'm not hungry
- 22094 : 1) I love you 2) Oh! Thank you.
- 22266 : 1) Nice skis 2) Thanks 1) Are they yours? 2) Uh huh 1) Both of them?
- 22403 : (1) Do you know why I pulled you over? (2) Depends on how long you were following me.
- 22475 : Gotta go! My boss is REALLY riding me!
- 22481 : (1) What're you doing? (2) I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?!
- 23267 : You're not a bad father....when you show up.
- 23369 : I sped, I followed to closely, I ran a stop sign, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a cross walk, I changed lanes at the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding
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