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BASEketball - 1998 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  Coop(Gesturing to ball in hand): If I had a nickel for every time this ball got me out of a tight spot...well I'd have a shitload of nickels. (full quote)
1339 (1)What's the one thing in the world you want more than anything (2)Chelsea Clinton (1)That's a pretty tall order dude (2)You'd have a better shot at Bill (full quote)
4049 Got milk? (full quote)
4049 Yeah, now you gotta fetch the ball, bitch! (full quote)
1339 I love ya, always have (full quote)
3225 You are just men with enormous...egos and you sit here and argue about who is the bigger penis...I mean, child...longwanger...AHHH...throbbing cock!!! Oh God I don't know what I mean anymore! (full quote)
evilroy #1 You know in all my years of caliing ames, I don't think I've ever been this excited. #2 You're excited--feel these nipples! (full quote)
1339 1) With that new liver he'll be peeing like a champ in no time. 2) That's kidneys Coop (full quote)
4375 1. You're bed is over here. [indicates a dog bed] 2. Dude, that is so fuckin' weak! How am I supposed to get a chick in that? 3. Oh, don't worry, dude. You couldn't get a chick if you had a hundred dollar bill hanging out of your zipper. 2. Yeah I could. 1. No. Dude, you're a little bitch! 2. I am not! I don't even know why I hang out with you guys, anyway. 3. 'Cause you're a piece of shit. 2. I am not a piece of shit! 1. Yeah, but you're a little bitch. 2. Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here! (full quote)
4375 1. Hey pigfucker, can I call you pigfucker? 2. No, only my friends can call me pigfucker. (full quote)
4375 Steve Perry! (full quote)
4520 Go home with your fancy cars, your important friends, your beautiful women, Victoria Silvstedt, playmate of the year,... oh shit! (full quote)
4646 1. Thanks alot Dr Dick Head you totally fucked me there. 2. Relax dude it was just a joke 1. Dude, she doesn't even like you 2. Oh, you think she has the hots for you! Shit, Squeak has a better chance then you do! 3. Hey you think? 1. That's low you son of a bitch! 3. Wait why is that low? 2. Don't blame me because I have a sweet ass I cant help it. 1. (sighs) Hey does this thing work? 2. Yeah try it. 1. Asshole! 3. Aaahhh! 2. Do you want to get a sandwich? 1. Yeah lets get a sandwich. 3. Damn. (full quote)
  doug- Steevveee Perry. coop- Dude i said no more journey psychouts! doug- dude im runnin out of ideas!!! (full quote)
5082 Wake up little bitch! You're my new best friend! (full quote)
  I swear to God if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times, I'm outta here. (full quote)
5110 1: I'll come, I love hospitals. 2: No you don't, you like Taco Bell! 1: No, one time I was at this hospital, and I met this great chick. 2: Dude, that was a hostel. (full quote)
5110 It's jobs. First we get the jobs, then we get the khakis, then we get the girls. (full quote)
5110 1: what's the matter with (NAME)? 2: I don't know, but he's 1 for 11 and he smells like Christian Slater! (full quote)
5110 Now you're such a big shot you're gonna act in a Hollywood movie? Fucking sellout. (full quote)
5110 1: You guys haven't changed since high school! 2: cool! 1: No, it's not! (full quote)
5110 If you want unanimous consent, you're gonna have to get it from one of the other owners. (full quote)
5110 Go back to your fancy cars, and your big bank accounts, and your celebrity friends, and your beautiful women, and Victoria Silvestedt, Playmate of the Year... FUCK! (full quote)
  Coop? what's a vagina? (full quote)
5817 1) Dude, that is so fucking weak... How am I supposed to get a chick in that? 2) Oh, don't worry dude, you couldn't get a chick if you had a hundred dollar bill hanging out of your zipper 1) Yeah, I could 3) No, dude, you're a little bitch (full quote)
5817 Look at you. You're just typical men with humungous... Egos... You're like every other pro-athlete, I should've kept those kids away from you. Now, their lives are ruined and all you can do is argue over who is the bigger penis... I mean baby.... Long-wanger. Ah! Throbbing cock! Oh, God I don't even know what I mean anymore! (full quote)
5963 Of course we graduated, cock, beer? (full quote)
  1.That's him Squeak that's Tunnal. 2. He's been talking some serious shit about you all night. 3.Yeah he told everyone he caught you jacking-off in the bathroom before the game. 3. He saw that? (full quote)
6261 Ofcourse we graduated, cock, beer? (full quote)
7096 A) Hey Tunnal... your mom's deaf B) My mom's dead, you little twerp A) I guess that's why she didn't move around much... (full quote)
7253 If I were a woman, I would want to be his girlfriend. (full quote)
  Hey skidmark steve!! watcha doin still just hangin out playin nintendo??? well if you really must know im in my second year of med school and im training for the summer games. Wats up with u guys?? hangin out..................playing nintendo.... (full quote)
  1) We don't have 50 bucks! 2) We don't have 20 bucks. Besides how good could they be? (full quote)
  Nice catch Coop. I mean I totally had it , but my glasses slipped. (full quote)
  Did I just fart?? (full quote)
  Senario number one: He's hanging by his neck in his fucking closet. (full quote)
8281 1.Hey thats a cool couch does it fold out into a bed?2.yeah a really cool one but that is Jenkins bed. This is your bed 1. Dude thats fucking weak! How am i supposed to get a chick in that3. Dude you couldnt get a chick with a hundred dollar bill hanging out of ur zipper 1. yes i can 2. no you cant cause your a little bitch 1. im not a little bitch 3. yeah butyour a piece of shit 1. im not a piece a shit 2.yeah but your a little bitch 3. HE got you there 1. i dont even know why i hang out with you guys I swear if you rip on me 13 or 14 more times im outta here. (full quote)
8281 1. Hey I heard your sister is going out with SQUEEK 2. WHOA 3. im not going out with his sister 1. yeah but you gotta say totally fucked up shit to psych them out 3. oh ok hey why is it totally fucked up that im going out with his sister 1. I hear your sisters going out with SQUEEK! (full quote)
8281 1. hey wanna play a game of two on two 2. sure 1. lets make it intresting say 20 bucks 2. how about 50 1. your on 3.Dude we dont got 50 bucks 2. we dont got 20. how good can they be any ways 1.to the lane baby 4. ali oop 1.you losers ready 3. yeah but none of that pussy two on two shit u play in the suburbs 1. what you got something better? 1. yeah its something we picked up in the hood 3. yeah yeah see i make a shot from any where on the court and u gotta make that shot or else u get a letter 1. what like horse 2. NO its not like horse pssssh 3. pssssh 2.pssssh 3. pssssh 2. Its um baseball rules see this is first the top of the key is second 3. right here is third and home run is behind the meatballs 2. you miss u get a out ok break 1. whoa whoa whoa 3. what do we need to explain it one more time you guys arnt big sprot guys 1. no no we got 2. losers up first 1. so this is first 4.yeah and a homerun is behind the meatballs 2. come on guy shoot the ball pssssh 4. hey you cant spit your beer at me 2. yeah i can do anything to make you miss your shot 3. those are the rules one out 1. one out! give me that ball (full quote)
8281 1. dude thats weak we win and they get the chicks 2. we need jobs first we get the jobs then we get the money then we get the kahkis then we get the chicks 1. yeah from now on were gonna stop playing games and start working (full quote)
  ohhh, ohhh (full quote)
  Dude, Shaq got rich playing in college, everybody knows that. (full quote)
  If I had a nickel for every time this ball got me out of a jam...well then I'd have a shit-load of nickels. (full quote)
  Hanging out playing nintendo, cock. (full quote)
  Yo Pearce! I hear your mums goin out with SQUEAK! (full quote)
  Got milk? (full quote)
  You're excited?...FEEL THESE NIPPLES!! (full quote)
  Wanna see me suck liposuction out of Marlon brando's ass? (Sucks it up) Ughhh! It's all salty and warm! (full quote)
  Wanna see me suck liposuction from Marlon brando's ass? (Sucks it up) Ughhh! It's all salty and warm! (full quote)
  I was just making some clam....chowder (full quote)
  (as Denslo is choking) Coop: Oh Im sorry, they stopped selling them [hotdogs] after the 7th inning, SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A HOT DOG! (full quote)
  Reggie: hey coop Coop: I DONT HAVE your FUCKING BALL Reggie: good luck next season coop: Oh....thanks! (full quote)
  SQUEAK: Hey she's here, man - that girl from the bar. REMER: That's a guy. SQUEAK: What? REMER: Yeah, that's a dude. SQUEAK: You're just sayin' that 'cause you want her for yourself. REMER: No, dude, I'm saying that beacause she's a guy! (full quote)
  REMER: Squeak, this guy here's been talkin' serious shit about you all night. COOP: Yeah, he even said he caught you jacking-off in the bathroom before the game. SQUEAK: He saw that?! (full quote)
  Shoulda-been-gone (full quote)
  Lets play for the pillow---Choo-loose-the-pillow Now for the blanket---Choo-loose-the-blanket Now for fun--Ha-aha-ha-ah (full quote)
  Yeah but your still a little bitch (full quote)
  Doing the happy dance doing the happy dance (full quote)
  Ohh, tough break, Squeak. Yeah, now you got to fetch the ball, bitch. (full quote)
  Coop Talking Like Cartman:Oh God Damn How'd You Get So God Damn Fucking Fat. Guy falls aND Causes Earthquake (full quote)
  1. You graduated? 2. of course we garduated (cock) beer? (full quote)
  your sister is dating SQUEAK! (full quote)
  Coop: you know reamer, some day, im gonna be a big sports star --years later-- Coop: you know reamer, some day, im gonna own a big sports bar Reamer: Dude hurry up Coop: Allright im just watering the flowers (peeing on flowers) (full quote)
  Coop: Hi Brittney (deep voice) Brittney: Coop...Reamer...I didnt think you guys would show up Reamer: Well we wouldnt miss your party Brittney: No cause i dont remember putting you on the guest list Coop: oh...well Ted told us Brittney: Excuse Me --Walks to the side with ted-- Brittney: Ted why would you tell those losers to come! Coop: Dude this part sucks lets bail Reamer: Nah dude lets go up to Brittneys room (full quote)
  hear my hooves, clickity clack. ghetto trust (full quote)
  Did you know your moms going out with...SQUEAK!! (full quote)
  Do you have change for a twenty? DOLLARS!? (full quote)
  1: You mean like Horse? 2: No its not like Horse...pshht 3: Pshht! 2: Pshht 3: Pshht! 2: DuhH! (full quote)
  KERI's HOtT (full quote)
  1: say doctor if you had a choice between being the top scientist in your field...or getting mad cow disease what would it be? 2: of course i would choose to be the top scientist in my field 1: oh good i was worried you'd choose mad cow! 2: why would you think that? 1: i guess i'm just a worrier...thats why my friends call me whiskers. 2: i thought you said you're friends call you whiskers cuz your curious as a cat?? ---------if u feelin like a pimp go and brush ya shoulders off! (full quote)
  (group huddle) One...Two...Three...FUCK THE MEXICANS!!!! (full quote)
  How ta speaak saannn francisscan - VAGWINA.... aww noo ! that wasn't a gay joke...that was an Australian JOke! (full quote)
  do you need anywhere else carpeting? No, but my.. *looks down* ..lobby, could use a good buffing, if you know what i mean.. Mmmmmmm, i know EXACTLY what you mean. *goes and literally buffs the lobby* (full quote)
  you're exited....feel my nipples!! (full quote)
  REMER: Hey I'll come, I like hospitals. COOP: No you don't, you like Taco Bell! REMER: No, really, I went to this hospital in France one time and got together with this really hot chick. COOP: Dude, that was a hostel. REMER: Oh yeah. (full quote)
  nice pychout dinklyberry (full quote)
  Squeak: God, I dont know why i even hang out with you guys Coop: cause your a piece of shit Squeak: i am not a piece of shit Reemer:well ya but youre a little bitch (full quote)
  Somebody get this man a hot dog!! (full quote)
  I wanna feel you.....deep inside (full quote)
  We have over 100 million people throughout the world tuned in to watching this game, many of them of course with no understanding of the sport, nontheless fascenated by the flickering images and the bright pretty colors. (full quote)
  — So, with last night's victory over Boston, next week the Beers must beat Indianapolis in order to advance to Charlotte. That's in an effort to reduce their magic number down to three. — Right, and then... the Beers can advance to the National Eastern Division north to play Tampa. — So if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East northern, then Milwaukee goes to the Denslow Cup. Unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play L.A. and Pittsburgh in a blind choice Round Robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all this, a two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion is crowned. — Right. (full quote)
  Coop: Hey whats up? still just hangin' out playin' Nintendo? Guy at reunion: Actually I'm in my second year in med school. What are you up to? Coop: Just hangin' out, playin' Nintendo-cock! (full quote)
  Reemer: Oh, I'll come, I love hospitals. Coop: No you don't, you like Taco Bell! Reemer: No, one time I was at this hospital, and I met this great chick. Coop: Dude, that was a hostel. (full quote)
  Listen to me little bitch! You either go out there and make that shot or I'm gonna shove your head so far up your fuckin' ass, you'll have to wear yourself as a hat! (full quote)
  your Life is spinning outta control, seems thee whole world is out to get you, etc..... (full quote)
  1.dude wot r u doin? 2.wot does it look like? 1.an excercussion? 2.god dammit man im tryin 2 save an inocent life. 2.im givin it all i got captain. 1.i love ya always have. 2.haahhahaha CLEAR (full quote)
8772 1)His blood sugar lever are up since yesterday...good GOD! his sodium levels are through the roof! 2) I know! hes 8 years old and smells like Robert Downey Jr.! (full quote)
9150 come here pigfucker .... do you mind if i call you pigfucker? no only my friends can call me pigfucker ... DIE!!!!! (full quote)
9316 you gotta believe us jenna, its all coops fault (full quote)
ShadowDragyn 1) Dude. 2) Dude. 1) Dude! 2) Dude! 1) Dude! 2) DUDE! 1) ...That's a good point. (full quote)
11413 Pretzel? I made it myself. Oh thank you. It goes great with mustard. Dude you didn't make that! I know but chicks like that sort of shit!! (full quote)
12041 1. Ewwwwww i got one of brittenys mom's pubes in my mouth 2.YUCK!!!!! 1.Ewww heres another one! (full quote)
12563 you couldent get a chick if you had a $100 bill hangin out of your zipper. (full quote)
14345 1)Remer, come here! Brittany's underwear, dude! 2)Ah, dude! (Sniffs underwear) 3)Excuse me! 1)Brittany! 3)what are you guys doing in my mom's room? (full quote)
14345 1)Steve Perry, Steve Perry. (sings) I shoulda been goooooooone long ago...Yes, he misses! 2)Dude, I said no more Journey Psyche Outs. (full quote)
14345 Live, dammit! Live! where are those little heart paddle things that George Clooney uses?! (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, what's wrong with Coop tonight? 2)I don't know. But he's 1 for 11 and he smells like Christian Slater. (full quote)
14345 1)I'm going to die. 2)Well, we're all going to die. 1)Yeah, but not this week. (full quote)
14345 1)His sodium level's through the roof! 2)It's the strangest thing...he's 8 years old and he smells like Robert downey Jr! (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, she's here, man! That girl from the bar! 2)That's a guy. 1)What? A guy? 2)Yeah, that's a dude! 1)No way. You're just saying that because you want her for yourself. 2)No, dude. I'm saying that because she's a guy. (full quote)
14345 The Oakland Raiders moved to Los Angeles and then back to Oakland...no one in Los Angeles seemed to notice. (full quote)
14345 1)Dude! 2)Dude! 1)Dude! 2)Dude! 1)Dude! 2)DUDE!!! Dude. 1)Well, I guess you got a point there. (full quote)
14345 1)Honest mistake, Squeak, sorry. 2)MY NAME'S NOT SQUEAK, ALL RIGHT?! IT'S KENNY!!! 3)All right, all right, you little bitch. Here, take a shot. 2)I don't wanna take a shot! I wanna turn off your gas! And don't call me bitch!!! (full quote)
14455 dude, first we gotta get the khakis, then we get the chicks (full quote)
14455 allright, we'll drink every time there's a fight on jerry springer (full quote)
14455 1)skidmark steve, are you still hangin' out playin' Nintendo? 2) actually im working for my doctorate at harvard, what about you guys? 1)hangin' around playin' nintendo,. . cock. (full quote)
14979 even if some guys tryin to blackmail you and your girlfriend thinks you suck, its up to you to let them know that it was all a part of some rich guys evil plan, look out ahead there's a truck changing lanes u got some yellow crumbs on your upper lip, and those warts on your dick aren't gonna go away unless u start usin’ tropical cream every day! (full quote)
15031 No it's not like horse!! (full quote)
18189 your life is spinning out of control it seems the whole world is out to get you, but you cant let it bring you down no youve got to fight it! cause your down but you gotta get up! dont let em walk all over your face!stand up for yourself and make everything right again! even if some guys trying to blackmail you and your girlfriend thinks you suck! its up to you to let them know that it was all just part of some rich guys evil plan! look out ahead there's a truck changin lanes, you got some yellow crumbs on your upper lip, and those warts on you dick arent gonna go away unless you start using topical creme everyday!!! (full quote)
24636 Dude, I said no more Journey psych outs. (full quote)
24636 1) Do you have change for a twenty? 2) Dollars?! (full quote)
27700 Can't this thing go any faster? DALE EARNhardT (puts on helmet) Hold on (car gases it) (full quote)
28609 1)hey skidmark steve, you still just hangin' out, playing nintendo 2) well if you must know i'm in my second year of med school and training for the summer games, what are you guys upto? 1) just hangin' out, playing nintendo, cock (full quote)
28609 1)dude this is britney keizer's party and i really wanna fuck her...doctor keizer...coop and remer we graduated with britney 2) you guys graduated? 1) of course we graduated, cock, beer? (full quote)
28609 your life is spinning out of control, seem's the whole world is out to get you, everything is wrong and nothing seems right, theres a sinking feeling inside even your best friend has turned his back, but you cant let it bring you down, no you've got to fight, coz you try but you cant let go, its when your down that you've godda get up, don't let em walk all over your face, stand up for yourself and make everything right again, even if some guys trying to blackmail you and your girlfriend thinks you suck its up to you to let them know that it was all just a part of some rich guys evil plan, look out ahead theres a truck changing lanes, you've got some yellow crumbs on your upper lip, and those warts on your dick aren't gonna go away unless you start using topical cream everyday (full quote)
danwho o man one of brittany's mother's pubic hairs... (full quote)
danwho remember when you had the crabs and the only thing that made you feel better was this creme...well i found another use for it..it feels so good..it makes me wanna sing..like that night we spent in that tattoo parlor in Rio... (full quote)
danwho you kids today with your dan fogelberg, hula hoops, zima and your pac man video games..people today have attention spans that can only be measured in nano seconds (full quote)
colbeer Soon it was common place for entire teams to change cities in search of greater profits. The Minneapolis lakers moved Los Angeles where there are no lakes, The Oilers moved to Tennessee where there is no oil. The jazz moved to Salt Lake City where they dont allow music. The Oakland Raiders moved to LA and then back to Oakland, no one in Los Angeles seemed to notice. (full quote)
bc_logan Coop: Hey Grunsky loosing weight.. (Holds arms to his shoulders and puff himself up and talks like Cartman from South Park) Hey you guys Serously I'm F**kin' fat seriously I am f**kin fat as f**k.... how did I do that. (full quote)
  Hey! Would you just stop it? Would you just hold on a minute? Look at you guys... fighting on the Malaka-Laka board! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Back in the driveway, we were nothing! Now we've risen to the highest level, but you're throwin' it all away! If you've forgotten what BASEketball means to America, you have only to look at this board - the Malaka-Laka Balance Board of Trust. Don't you see what we have here? A game where guys with bad backs and bad knees can... get together and compete on the same field as guys that are all goosed up on steroids. But more than anything, isn't this game about gettin' together with your friends and just havin' a good time? I remember. I remember a long time ago, I didn't have anybody. You guys took me in. I guess that's why it kills me to see you like this. If we can't be friends... then the heart and soul are out of this game. Certainly out of me. I know I'll never get that back again. We have sullied the waters of the Lagoon of Peace! I'm begging you, for the love of our Caribbean brothers, dudes, stop this madness! (full quote)
  Coop: I'm not gonna do it, dude, end of story! Reemer: Dude! Coop: Dude! Reemer: Dude! Coop: Dude! Reemer: Dude! [Coop looks shocked] Reemer: Dude. Coop: I see your point. (full quote)
  -Can you break a twenty? - What, Dollars? - I didn't think so... let me get straight to the point Don. May I call you Don? - Yeah I guess so... - Don when I see one of (Movie Name)'s hottest stars with less than twenty dollars in his pocket, driving an American car, and sharing a small house with two other guys. Do you know what that says to me? - Homos? - No, no no... (full quote)
  Steeeeeve Perry. (full quote)
  1)Dude there she is man the girl from the bar. 2)Thats a guy. 1)A guy. 2)Yeah that's a dude. 1) You'r just saying that because you wnat her all for you'r self.2) No, I'm saying tha because thats a guy. (full quote)
  1)Dude there she is man the girl from the bar. 2)Thats a guy. 1)A guy. 2)Yeah that's a dude. 1) You'r just saying that because you want her all for you'r self.2) No, I'm saying tha because thats a guy. (full quote)
  1)Dude there she is man the girl from the bar. 2)Thats a guy. 1)A guy. 2)Yeah that's a dude. 1) You'r just saying that because you want her all for you'r self.2) No, I'm saying that because thats a guy. (full quote)
  whats this???? lyposuction from marlin brando's ass ... uh... what am i doing... uhhhh uhhhh (full quote)
  how to speak san francisco (full quote)
  (Remer comes over to shooter with pants pulled up to his chest) Remer *in southern accent* Well I guess I'll take my shot now. I better be sure to make it so I can go home and smack my wife in the eye yessir. *shooter* Shut up Remer! , shoots, ball goes in. *shooter* Haha take that Remer. *Remer* Shit! (full quote)
6382 You kids today with your loud music, and Dan Fogelberg, zima, hula hoops,and your pac man video games. (full quote)
10929 Dude! (full quote)
10929 Chelsea Clinton. (full quote)
10929 Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. (full quote)
10929 The honeymoon is over. (full quote)
10929 Why can't we be friends. (full quote)
beekers I think I can smell her perfume from here. (full quote)
beekers 1)How do you think Shaq got rich? 2)Playing in college, everyone knows that. (full quote)
beekers I guess time just finally ran out for the old cocksucker. (full quote)
beekers 1)I want teams to go back to the way the used to be, when players were treated more like... 2)indentured servants? 1)yes! (full quote)
beekers 1)My lobby could use a good buffing - if you know what I mean. 2)Oh, I know exactly what you mean. (full quote)
36054 Remer:Dude, you made a ball, out of what? (looks at the lazyboy) (full quote)
36054 1)what? Are we going to the zoo? (full quote)
36054 prep: well lets make it interesting, how about $20. coop: lets make it 50. prep: youre on. remer: dude, we dont have $50. coop: dude, we dont have 20. besides, how good can they be? (full quote)
39345 Wake Up Bitch your My New Best Friend! (full quote)
41148 if u call me squeak i quit, ok if u shoot and make it we wont call u squeak,....hey your mothers going out with SQUEAK! (shoots, misses) (full quote)
47506 1)Come on man. Besides he's been telling everyone he saw you jerking off in the bathroom before the game.2)What, he saw that?! (full quote)
47880 1. You graduated? 2. Of course we graduated, cock. Beer? (full quote)
47880 Ted Nugent! (full quote)
47880 But dude, this is Brittany Kaiser's house and I really really wanna fuck her. (full quote)
47880 Coop: Hey Steph! Steph: Coop, Remer! Coop: You want a beer? Steph: Oh my god! You guys haven't changed since high school! Coop: Oh cool! Steph: No it isn't. (full quote)
47880 Reemer: I'll come. I like hospitals. Coop: No you don't! You like Taco Bell! (full quote)