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Me, Myself and Irene - 2000 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  price check on Vagi-Clean aisle 5, that's Vagi-clean. We have a woman here with a full on falopian fungus, she's baking a loaf a bread and I think its sourdough...*sniff* Better put a rush on that (full quote)
evilroy Remember, no bitches after eleven! (full quote)
2227 Why am I peeing like I just had sex all night? (full quote)
4483 Just because I rock, doesn't mean I'm made of stone! (full quote)
4493 Hank:You said you would eat whale blubber....lil dude:yah she'll be eating whale blubber all right...as soon as i free willy* (full quote)
4476 Shes goin' to eating blubber alright, soon as i free Willie. (full quote)
  Hungry ladies? Well here's the footlong and a sack of nuts. (full quote)
4608 Holy Shit, it's a giant Q-TIP (full quote)
4608 whatever you say slim (full quote)
4608 How's it hangin fellas? (full quote)
evilroy Thanks for watchin' our motherfuckin' movie! (full quote)
5265 Just because I rock, doesn't mean I'm made of stone (full quote)
  1) Still want to jump rope in the street ? 2) I'm gonna tell my daddy on you Charlie !1) Wrong answer , and the name's HANK , fuck face ! (full quote)
  I noticed you conveniently left out your eating disorder . I don't have an eating disorder Whatever you say slim . (full quote)
  Ready ? On 9 . 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 ! (full quote)
5383 Why am I peing like I've been up having sex all night? (full quote)
5352 come on , you've seen the guy. He's like origami :Folds under pressure (full quote)
5352 While your at it why don't you climb up that power pole and take a big steaming piss on the wire (full quote)
5352 1) Jesus Lord in heaven ! It's a giant q-tip . 2) Hank ! 1) C'mon , I'm just messing with the guy . Bringing a little sun-shine into his life . Careful ! You'll peel (full quote)
5352 1) Lee-harvey , what's the diametre of a chicken egg ? 2) 4.08 cm 1) Na nah , what's that in inches ? 2) 1.61 . Man , what the fuck you getting at ? 1) I got $10 that says I can sqeeze a chicken egg up his ass without it breaking . 3) Man you can't get no chicken egg up his ass , I mean look at him : He's a tight ass 1) No , it can be done . 2) I'l take that bet . (full quote)
5352 Well look who joined the party !!!! DId you have fun ? Huh ? *ooohh yess I did yeah* so I guess old Hanky-Panky wasn't enough for you huh ? 2) It wasn't for me . (full quote)
5352 Yeah , well bad things happen to people who kill their family with a hammer (full quote)
5352 Time to face the music Mozart . And-a one and-a two ! (full quote)
5352 1) Well fuck my O-Zone . Hey ringworm ! Yeah I'm talking to you , you toxic waste of life. You gonna pick up that butt ? Or do I have to glue it to my shoe and shove it up your big pimpley A-Hole ? 2) Hey , relax Buddy : It's just a cigarette beutt . 1) Oh yeah ? Well this is just a fist . But when I start throwing it around it can leave one helluva mess . Lets dance (full quote)
5352 1) I have to take a pill once every 5 hours or else I feel..funny . Just a stupid thing .2) Oh , what's it called ? 1) Advanced dilusionary schizophrenia(sp?) with invoulentary narsacistic rage . (full quote)
  detective is your wife happy is my wife happy yeah cause if your fucking is anything like your police work then you couldnt hit the Gspot on a 12 pound pussy (full quote)
5817 He may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, but he is a very gentle person. (full quote)
5352 1) Vagi-clean huh? Whats the matter honey ? A little too much extra cheese on the taco ? 2) Excuse me ? 1) Oh no . Excuse ME ... There's no tag on this. price check isle 5 , on Vagi-Clean . I repeat : price check isle five, on vagi-clean . That's VAGI CLEAN . We got a customer down here with full-on fallopean fungus . SHe's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sour-dough . *SNIFF* Put a rush on that . (full quote)
  On the count of nine... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9! (full quote)
3225 For your information, you stuck it in your own ass! (full quote)
5352 1) So I smoked some pot . what is that ? A crime ? 2) Umm, yeah ! (full quote)
6631 I'm here to save your life. But if I'm gonna do that, I need total unininanonynymity. (full quote)
6631 WILL SOMEbody GET THIS GODDAMN CHICKEN OUT OF MY ASS, PLEASE?!!! (full quote)
5352 1) What are you staring at fucker ?! ..Yo wanna start me up ? Just open the choke and pull the cord pal . 2) Hey waht is your problem ..1) I got no beef with you ! This is between me and the kid (full quote)
5352 1) What you did to that kid was terrible . Didn't you see the look on his face ? 2) Looked a little pale is all . 1 He was hurt . And Offended . 2) Well I beg to differ . But why speculate . .Hey milky !! 1) Hey ! No ! 2)COme on brair rabbit ! Hop down the bunny trail . Yeppa yeappa ! Undalai! Were you at all offended by our socail interaction here ? 3)Yeah actually I was . 2) Oh..was it the q-tip thing ? 3) Actaully I was pretty much offended but everything you said..sir (full quote)
5352 Warden ! I want my own cell !! (full quote)
  whatever you say slim (full quote)
5352 1) Hank ? Hank : I appreciate everything that you've done , but is there any we we could get Charlie back here ? 2) Sure , Ok , and while your at it why don't you climb that power pole over there and take a big steaming piss on the wire ? Look I'm not here to twist your niblets !...I'm here to save you life . But to do that I'm gonna need total uniniminonanenity ..... (full quote)
5352 I'm due for a sismec event and your dnacing on the fault-line (full quote)
5352 Ready ? On Nine ....1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8, 9 ! (full quote)
  Charlie Baileygates: (sees a girl in the middle of the street in front of traffic and says:) Sweety! Sweety! That's kind of dangerous. You wanna move up onto the sidewalk away from the traffic? Girl: My dad says you're a joke and I don't have to listen to you! (continues jumproping) Charlie Baileygates: your father has a titled opinion but I am an officer of the law and by all rights I could- Girl: Fuck off! Charlie Baileygates: You should watch your mouth, little girl- (Girl screams, Charlie runs up some stairs to get away and the girl continues to jumprope. (full quote)
  Hank Evans: (as he pulls the girl out of a fountain he says:) It's a skipper from the street! Girl: I gonna tell my daddy on you, Charlie! Hank Evans: Wrong answer. And the name's Hank, fuckface! (pushes her back into the water) (full quote)
  hf (full quote)
  Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone (full quote)
  Hes nutier than squirrel droppings (full quote)
  damn daddy got a motha fuckin butthole on his chin (full quote)
  Whoa Whoa Whoa.... easy there sugar tits (full quote)
  get your cock outta my chrysler (full quote)
  hey mr taliban suck my fuckin cock bitch!!! (full quote)
  waaaaaaaaaaaaaa (full quote)
  im pissing like i had sex last night irene i think i am gonna die (full quote)
  Did you just refer to yourself in the 4th person? (full quote)
  Hank: Vagiclean huh? what's the matter, honey a little extra cheese on the taco. um excuse me. Hank: price check on Vagiclean Aisle 5 price check on vagiclean aisle 5 I repeat that's Vagiclean. We got a woman down here with a full on fallopian fungus she's baking a bread and I think its sourdough. (full quote)
  WHOA WHOA WHOA whats the fuss tell me whats happenin (full quote)
  so I smoked some pot, is that a crime (full quote)
  (1)he sure is one spartacus looking mutha fucka (2) yeah, now u can blow ya nose and wipe ya ass at the same time (full quote)
  Take your cock out of my chrysler (full quote)
  Hank: What are you looking at, Fucker? You wanna start me up? Just open the choke and pull the cord. I'm due for a sizemic event, and you're dancing on the faultline. (full quote)
  Vagiclean? what wrong honey? A little too much cheese on the taco? (full quote)
  Hank Evans: Well, fuck my ozone! (full quote)
  Hey daddy, look at it this way...now you can wipe your ass and blow your nose at the same damn time!! (full quote)
  I feel your fear. It's coming through like static on my heart radio. (full quote)
  You gotta have a motherfuckin aneurism to get a 1430 on the SAT. (full quote)
  Grab a hold of this motherfucker daddy! (full quote)
  Hey, you didn't happen to pick up a wallet off of the dash did ya? (full quote)
  score. Good move (full quote)
  im telling on you charlie wrong answer and im names not charlie is hank fuck face (full quote)
  I think we need to get to know each other better...Do you swallow? (full quote)
  Vagiclean..I need a price check on Vagiclean. (full quote)
  1) What are those for? 2) Oh! It's just this stupid thing. I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel... funny. No big deal. 1) What's it called? 2) Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. (full quote)
5352 1) Like you only hear what you wanna hear ? 2) Thanks ..I like to keep it short ...'specially in the summer . (full quote)
5352 I need a gun and lots of amo . (full quote)
8487 I'm not here to twist your nibblets. (full quote)
8487 Ready? On 9. (counting fast) 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9. (full quote)
8487 1) Irene? 2) Hmmmmm? 1) Why am I peeing like I was up all night having sex? (full quote)
8487 Hey! My daddy may have advanced dilusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, but he is a very gentle person! (full quote)
8487 1) Sweetie! That's kinda dangerous. You wanna move it up onto the street away from the traffic? 2) (a little girl) My daddy says you're a joke and I don't have to listen to you! 1) Well, your father has a right to his own opinion, but I am an officer of the law, and by all rights I could- 2) Fuck off! (full quote)
8487 On account of Hank's behavior, Charlie took a beating. But save for a little blood and urine, he was no worse for the wear. (full quote)
trip Well, fuck my o-zone! (full quote)
trip You gonna pick up that butt? Or do have to glue it to the end of my shoe, and stick in your big fat pimply AAAAY-Hole (full quote)
10130 You wanna start me up, Just open the choke and pull the chord. (full quote)
10929 I'd like that. (full quote)
10929 Do it again. (full quote)
10929 The world ain't slowing down. (full quote)
10929 Any major dude will tell you. (full quote)
10929 only a fool would say that. (full quote)
10929 where he can hide. (full quote)
11368 He may have advanced dillusionary skitzophrenia with involuntary narcesistic rage, but he is a very gentle person. (full quote)
11436 can i help you? yes, officer bailygates, rhode island state police, i have your prisoner here miss irene waters. ok ill tell them you're here. okaidy raidy. what are those for? oh its just this stupid thing, i have to take a pill every six hours or i feel...funny. no big deal. whats it called? advanced dillusionary skitzophrenia with involuntary narcesistic rage. (full quote)
11436 ok, so what your saying is...your not charlie. c'mon you have seen the guy in action, he is like oragami...folds under pressure. when the big games on the line hes busy riding the pine. ok wait wait can you just... (slides off the car) its simple, charlie is the mouse that got you into the maze, im the rat who knows how to find the cheese. names hank...hank evans, FOR LITTLE GIRLS. so its true, charlie is a skitzo? i wouldnt know i stay out of his business, he satys out of mine. look, just because i rock doesnt mean im made of stone. i feel your fear, its coming through like static on mu heart radio. hank? hank, i really really appreciate your help, but is there any way we could get charlie out here for a little huddle? no problem...while your at it why dont you climb that pole over there and take a big steamy piss on the power lines, look im not here to twist your niblets, im here to save your life, but if im gonna do that im gonna need total huninininomitity. okay. sound good candypants? hank dont call me that. (full quote)
11442 OH! GOD!! It's a giant Q-Tip! (full quote)
12173 holy shit....It's a gaint Q tip (full quote)
12672 whatever you say my little pussy fart! (full quote)
12674 1.) How's my little guy doing? 2.) Struggling. This quantum physics is confuning. If I don't buckle down i'm gonna get myself another B+! 2.) Oh, that'd be whack! (full quote)
beekers Kisses, Daddy! (full quote)
17433 Hey man..is oyur old lady happy? My old lady?? Yea cuz if your fuckin is as good as your police work, you couldn't hit the G spot on a 12 lb. pu**y (full quote)
17433 Hey man..is your old lady happy? My old lady?? Yea cuz if your fuckin is as good as your police work, you couldn't hit the G spot on a 12 lb. pu**y (full quote)
18102 IRENE: Stay away from me, Hank! I know what you have planned, OK? I saw your so-called supplies. (full quote)
26781 Over the years my ass has taken a pounding. (full quote)
Wige247 Oooh....that. I wasn't going to ram it in. I was going to ease it in inch by inch...like a gentleman. (full quote)
40128 Hanky Panky not enough for you, eh? (full quote)
43786 Oh my God, it's a giant Q-tip!!! (full quote)