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Better Off Dead... - 1985 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
4049 Buck Up Little Camper (full quote)
4049 Well honk my hooter! (full quote)
4049 She got her arm caught in the microwave and went crazy and hijacked a school bus full of....penguins, so it's kind of a bad time (full quote)
agwendolyn Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way... turn. (full quote)
agwendolyn He snorts nasal spray? You know where i could score some? (full quote)
agwendolyn 1) Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that. 2) real shame. (full quote)
agwendolyn 1) Ah, Bonjour, como talle vous? 2) what? No thanks, I've already had breakfast. (full quote)
  I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!! (full quote)
4373 Awwwww, buck up little camper! (full quote)
4373 Well honk my hooters! (full quote)
4373 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE STREET VALUE OF THIS mountAIN IS?!? (full quote)
  Gee, Ricky I'm real sorry your mom blew up! (full quote)
4509 You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and uh my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hi-jacked a school bus full of penguins so you see it’s kind of a family crisis so…come back later? Great. (full quote)
4509 You make a gnarly run like that and girls will get sterile just looking at you. (full quote)
4509 I’ve been going to this high school for 7 ½ years, I’m no dummy… (full quote)
4509 Suicide is never the answer little trooper (full quote)
4509 I think I froze the left half of my brain. Look! I can’t move my right arm! (full quote)
4476 Lane, what are you doing? (full quote)
4476 He snorts nasil spray? Know where I can score some? (full quote)
5239 2 dollars, I WANT my 2 dollars! (full quote)
  1)two dollars 2)sorry i haven't got a dime 1)didn't ask for a dime...two dollars (full quote)
5671 Dying when you're not really sick is really sick (full quote)
6034 This mountain is pure snow! Do you know the street value for this? (full quote)
6335 It's got raisins in it. You like raisins. (full quote)
6335 Now you tell me which is better: speaking no English at all or speaking Howard Cosell? (full quote)
  Wait a minute, I think I'm on to something here. Do you realize what this is, this is pure snow, and it's everywhere. (full quote)
6577 what a shame ... throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that... (full quote)
4108 Fronch dressing. Fronch fries. Fronch bread. And to drink....Peru! (full quote)
6610 Hey, Lane, I know this is a little strange with me being a cartoon and all, but I was wondering how you'd feel if I took out Beth? (full quote)
  I want my two dollars! (full quote)
6783 1)Fat pig. 2) what was that?! 1)Pat,pat pig. (full quote)
6783 1) What are those? 2)Those are the keys to this establishment. I want you here at 6:15, this place has to be mopped and clean before the breakfast crew arrives. (person 1 starts to get up) 2)Where you goin'! 1) To wash my hands I gotta pat and mold! 2) You wash your hands on your own time boy! (full quote)
6783 (he sniffs up snow using a straw) Aw, aw. I think I just froze the left side of my brain! Look! I can't move my right arm! (full quote)
5757 You would do well to do as mother says, Lane Meyer. (full quote)
5757 Do you have Christmas in France? Christ-MAAAAAAS. (full quote)
  ..and this Ricky he puts his testicles all over me. what?! How do you say, octopus? TENTICLES! N, T. (full quote)
7475 ..and this Ricky he puts his testicles all over me. what?! How do you say, octopus? TENTICLES! N, T. (full quote)
clarkins Two Dollars. TWO DOLLARS!!! I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!! (full quote)
7742 I've been going to this highschool for seven years. I'm no dummy.... (full quote)
5631 Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn. (full quote)
  what in the name of all that is holy? (full quote)
  1. what IS this? 2. It's bacon. I knew you didn't like all of the grease from fried bacon. So I boiled it. (full quote)
  Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that. (full quote)
  Sorry your mom blew up ricky. (full quote)
  It has raisins...you like raisins (full quote)
  ricky smith how you say dork head, is an unleashed sex feind (full quote)
  ...after the olympics everything looked so damn easy..... (full quote)
  Him? And her? That makes sense. (full quote)
  Just go that way real fast. If something gets in your way, just turn. (full quote)
  Mercy Buckets (full quote)
  Merci buckets. (full quote)
  Hey Badger, your book on how to pick-up trashy women came today. Tell me something what's a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this. (full quote)
  Go that way.. reallllly fast.. if something gets in your way.. TURN (full quote)
  They're out there dad, they're after me! (full quote)
  J: Two Dollars. L:Gee Johnny, I don't have a dime. J: I didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars...cash. (full quote)
  I'm sorry your mom blew up (full quote)
  You'll make a fine little helper, what's your name?... Charles DeMar....shut up, geek. (full quote)
  Beth *animated*: listen, Lane! You forget! Chris Cummins dates the basketball team! Not certain members of the team, Lane! The WHOLE TEAM! (full quote)
  This is when Lane gets some skates to get Chris to go out with him... Lane: *bumps into Chris* Excuse me... *Chris' table* Team: *growls quizzically and goes back to eating baby food* *back at the line* Lane: I was wondering...You skate, I skate, we skate. And maybe we can get together and kinda... Chris: You're a jerk! *skates off* Lane: ...Be a skating team. And it gets even worse as he still tries to ask her out, only to fall and rip off her uniform, inciting the wrath of her harem of jocks. (full quote)
  I see we share one common desire, the desire to be part of the well oiled machinery that is the greendale high ski team. (full quote)
  Come on Lane, mellow off. You're really bringing me over, man. (full quote)
  Lane Myer... Is he your main weiner man? (full quote)
  Everybody Wants Some. (full quote)
  I want my two dollars! (full quote)
1960 I'm real sorry your mom blew up Ricky. (full quote)
2829 Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up Ricky. Doctor says she's gonna be okay though. She just can't have any spicy foods for a while. (full quote)
agwendolyn I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. (full quote)
agwendolyn 1) Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' a way a perfectly good white boy like that. 2) Real shame. (full quote)
agwendolyn I'm going to race. I'm going to lose. And I'm going to die. (full quote)
agwendolyn greendale is an incredibly small town, dude. I can't even get real drugs here! (full quote)
8061 That's a real shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that. (full quote)
8199 I want my two dollars. (full quote)
8299 Noooooooooo...I can't swim!!!!!!!! (full quote)
8299 Lane Myers. A study in moppishness. (full quote)
8916 Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that. (full quote)
9316 Hey meyer,be sure to shave her before you kiss her goodnight (full quote)
9775 Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of thier lives. (full quote)
10528 Look Beth, I gotta go. The Christmas tree is on fire! (full quote)
11390 Elaine, this is FABULOUS liqueur! Reminds me of the moonshine Ricky's pappy used to make. (full quote)
12457 damn, thats a shame when people be throwin away a perfectly good white boy (full quote)
12457 2 dollars (full quote)
12573 Language lessons. Inspired words from a man who knows how to ski. (full quote)
13896 The sublime metamorphesis of the lane meyer... (full quote)
13896 Look Lane, your really bringing me over man... (full quote)
13896 Cast your mind if you will...it was a crisp September morn... (full quote)
CaseySCRM Man that's a real shame when white folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that. (full quote)
16156 You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hijacked a school bus full of penguins. So you see, it’s kind of a family crisis…so come back later (full quote)
16471 It's damn shame when people be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that. (full quote)
19399 Lane, I've been going to this school for seven years! I'm no dummy! (full quote)
19423 I'm gonna activate your dental plan! (full quote)
19484 what's a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this? (full quote)
20958 i want my two dollars! (full quote)
22528 I really think it's in my best interest if I went out with someone more popular. (full quote)
22528 Who would like to hold my clipboard? You'd make a fine little helper, what's your name? Charles De Mar. Not you ya freak! (full quote)
22528 -You must obey the proper speed limit, a car is not a toy. -Well you sure got my vote for cutest couple. You better shave her a little closer before you kiss her goodnight. (full quote)
23361 I'M REALLY SORRY I BLEW your MOM UP RICKY. (full quote)
FL_Bigfoot This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is? (full quote)
FL_Bigfoot Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that. (full quote)
1ajas Go that way, really fast; if something gets in your way . . . turn. (full quote)
1ajas This is pure snow! It's everywhere! Have you any idea of what the street value of this mountain is? (full quote)
1ajas listen Lane, don't forget: Chris Cummins dates the basketball team, not certain members of the team, Lane, the whole team. (full quote)
1ajas Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way... turn. (full quote)
1ajas Two dollars, I WANT my two dollars! (full quote)
1ajas I think I froze the left half of my brain. LOOK! I can't move my right arm! (full quote)
1ajas what a shame... throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that... (full quote)
1ajas I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I'm no dummy. (full quote)
1ajas I'm going to race, I'm going to lose and I'm going to die. (full quote)
1ajas greendale is an incredibly small town, dude. I can't even get real drugs here! (full quote)
1ajas (1)Oh no not now. (2)What do they want? (1)They want to race. (3)Lane Myer the kid from Green Bay. (1)See here’s a good example - two brothers, one speaks no English, the other learned to speak from watching Wide World of Sports. So you tell me which is better, speaking no English at all or speaking Howard Cosell? (full quote)
1ajas Are you ready for me, Hoops? (full quote)
1ajas Oh, the humanity! Thank you very much for the ride. (full quote)
1ajas Little girl, I'm gonna' have nightmares just knowing that dog exists. (full quote)
1ajas It's an awesome spectacle. An audacious display of seething opponents once again parallel in an obstinate attempt to prove superiority of the roads unequaled in our lifetime. The crowds swell with anticpation as the lights turn green! (full quote)
1ajas (1)Truly, a sight to behold. A man, beaten. The once great champ, now a study in moppishness. No longer the victory hungry stallion we've raced so many times before, but a pathetic, washed-up, aged ex-champion. (2)Alright, let's go! (full quote)
1ajas Suicide is never the answer, little trooper. greendale is a bodaciously small town, Lane. It's a flyspeck on the map. A rest stop on the way to a ski slope. I can't even get real drugs here. (full quote)
1ajas (1)Four weeks. Twenty papers. That's two dollars. Plus tip. (2)Gee, Johnny, I don't have a dime. Sorry. (1)Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars. (2)Well, it's funny, see, my mom had to leave early to take my, my brother to school and my dad to work, 'cause- (1)Two dollars. Cash. (2)See, the problem here is, is that my little brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and, and uh, my grandmother dropped acid, and she freaked out and hijacked a school bus full of penguins, so it's kind of a family crisis, so, come back later? Great. (full quote)
1ajas (1)The three cardinal trapezoidal formations hereto made orientable in our diagram by connecting the various points HIGK, PEGQ, and LMNO, creating our geometric configurations... which have no properties but with location... (2)Ohh (1)Are equal to the described triangle CAB, quintuplicated. Therefore, it is also the five triangle composing the aforementioned NIGH each are equal to the triangle CAB in this geometric concept! (2)Hahahaha! (1)Therefore, in a like manner, the geometric metaphors can derive a repeated vectoral sum. This was your assignment. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Oh no not now. #2- What do they want? #1- They want to race. #3- Lane Myer the kid from Green Bay… #1- See here’s a good example two brothers, one speaks no English, the other learned to speak from watching Wide World of Sports. So you tell me which is better speaking no English at all or speaking Howard Cosell? (full quote)
27895 Friends....you know, friends? (full quote)
30778 1.what is this?2.Bacon, I know how you don't like all the grease so I boiled it. (full quote)
  Gee Rickey-I'm really sorry your mom blew up (full quote)
  Lane, Can I take Beth out (full quote)
  Buck up little camper, we'll beat this slope.....together. (full quote)
  LANE: SOMETHING WRONG MONIQUE. MONIQUE: HEY YES SOMETHING IS WRONG, IT'S THIS, HOW YOU SAY DORKHEAD, IS AN UNLEASHED SEX FEIN, L: WHO? RICKY! YOU THINK HE GET BORED HE GO AWAY NO INSTEAD HE PUTS HIS TESTICLES ALL OVER ME L: TESTICLES? M: HOW YOU SAY OCTOPUS. L: tentACLES tentACLES N..T.. (full quote)
  Johnny: Two weeks...twenty papers...that's two dollars...> Lane: Gee Johnny, I don't have a dime! Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime...TWO DOLLARS! (full quote)
  My brother makes this monster egg nog...with lighter fluid. (full quote)
  Buuuuuutttttt I'm willin' to give you the benefit of the doubt....that will be 13 dollars and 37 cents. (full quote)
  You know, I've never met anyone like you before. Usually when I meet someone new, I feel awkward and shy. But with you it's different. I can talk to you. You know what I'm thinking without my having to explain it to you in fancy terms. We speak each others unspoken language . . . fluently. I love you. How would you like to have a . . . experience so intense it could conceivably change your political views? (full quote)
  Lane, I've been going to this high school for seven and half years. I'm no dummy, I know high school. (full quote)
  Twenty papers: two dollars. Gee johnny I dont have a dime. Didn't ask for a dime....Two dollars...cash. (full quote)
  And you find the school system... Adequate? (full quote)
1335 Wait a minute Mr. Bear. This is death. I bet we get her back. (full quote)
7475 I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!! (full quote)
10929 Here Comes Santa Claus. (full quote)
10929 She's gone. (full quote)
10929 Breakin' up is hard to do. (full quote)
10929 Fifty ways to leave your lover. (full quote)
10929 Foxy lady. (full quote)
32065 [Mom]: Hello Lane, how was your day? [Lane]: Beth broke up with me. [Mom]: Oh, that's nice. (full quote)
32065 It's got raisins in it. You like raisins. (full quote)
33525 I've been going to this school for seven and a half years, I'm no dummie. (full quote)
33525 1)Lane, what are you doing? 2)nothing 1)yes you are (full quote)
33525 1)Lane, what are you doing? 2)nothing 1)yes you are (full quote)
33584 She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecil. (full quote)
33584 It doesn't work; nothing works. My little brother is building a space shuttle out of household appliances. You know, like vacuum cleaners & blenders. That thing is probably going to work, I can't get that thing out of the driveway. (full quote)
33584 1)Well, I guess this is it. 2)Please hurry. We have unfinished business. Do not forget. 1)Huh? 2)Language lessons. 1)What, are you going to teach me French? 2)The international language. *they kiss* 2)Kick his a**. (full quote)
37417 [doorbell rings, #2 answers, #1 is standing on porch] 1) Four weeks, twenty papers, thats two dollars. 2) Sorry, I don't got a dime. 1) Don't want a dime. Two dollars. 2) Its a funny story, you see my mom had to leave early to take my little brother to school and my dad to work so.. 1) [threateningly] Two dollars. 2) The thing is, this morning my little brother got his arm caught in the microwave and my mom had to take him to the hospital, then my grandma dropped some acid and she kinda freaked out and hijacked a schoolbus...full of penguins. So its kinda a family emergency so if you could just come back later? Thanks. [shuts door quickly] (full quote)
42702 I think I froze the right side of my brain.....Look I can't move my right arm. (full quote)
42702 Everyone is going to be waering one? (full quote)
42702 Right off....On right on.. (full quote)
45423 Two dollars..I want my two dollars!! (full quote)