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Noises Off... - 1992 Movie Quotes

Posted ByQuote
4921 actress: Lloyd, my dear, are you alright? Lloyd: I'm starting to know what God felt like when he sat out there in the darkness creating the world. / actress: And what did he feel like, Lloyd, my dear? / Lloyd: Very pleased he'd taken his Valium! (full quote)
  we don't want four plates of mashed banana running around the set (full quote)
2829 I don't understand why the prince looks like Phillip. (full quote)
2829 I've worked with a lot of directors Lloyd. Some of them were geniuses, some of them were bastards, but I have never worked with one who so absolutely and totally I don't know. (full quote)
5150a I just stopped in to go into a few things -er- check some of the measurements -er- do one or two odd jobs. (full quote)
5150a And I take the sardines. No I leave the sardines. No, I take the sardines. (full quote)
5150a You leave the sardines and you go out with the newspaper. (full quote)
5150a Alright, I'll give you a reason. You take them into the study Freddy, my darling, because it's just after midnight, and we're not going to be finished before we open tomorrow night. Correction: Before we open TONIGHT!!!! (full quote)
5150a Oh, I thought I heard my voice. (full quote)
5150a This is the BEER in the wardrobe is it? (full quote)
5150a a) He's been standing there the whole time. b) Standing there like Hamlet's father. (full quote)
5150a If we can get through this play once tonight with doors and sardines. Doors and sardines. That's what this plays all about doors and sardines. Getting on, getting off. Getting the sardines on. Getting the sardines off. That's farce. That's theatre. That's life. (full quote)
5150a Lloyd, what we're saying is simply this: Here we are busting are asses up here and...Christ! (full quote)
5150a The only thing I like about tech rehearsals is you get a chance to sit on the furniture. (full quote)
5150a The sardines! They've gone! No, they haven't . My God, I mean my God, I mean you put a plate of sardines down the last thing you expect is to come back and... (full quote)
2829 Darling, don't play the fool. Get the bottle marked poison from the downstairs loo. (full quote)
2829 Oh, this isn't something you gave me is it? I'll just put it in the attic with the other things you gave me that are just too precious to wear. (full quote)
2829 ACTOR: what are we waiting for? DIRECTOR: I don't know what you're waiting for. Her eighteenth birthday? (full quote)
3225 1)I've worked with a lot of directors, Lloyd. Some of them were geniuses. Some of them were bastards. But I've never met one who was so totally and absolutely...I don't know...2) Thank you, Gary I'm very touched. Now will you get off the fucking stage? (full quote)
3225 Poor Lloyd's going to choke on his gummi bears (full quote)
3225 Oh, God she's going to wash away her contact lenses (full quote)
3225 1) You can't walk around like this 2) Like what? 1) In your underwear 2) Alright I'll take it off then (full quote)
3225 I'm not here, I'm off. Only its the royal, you know, where they wear those hats and they're all covered in fruit (full quote)
3225 Yes, we'll only just manage to fit it in. I mean, we'll only just do it. I mean... (full quote)
  you know how stupid I am about lines (full quote)
  you know how stupid I am about entrances (full quote)
  you know how stupid I am about moves (full quote)
  Am I putting him on or is he putting me on? (full quote)
  Get her a plate of Mashed Bananas (full quote)
  At least I think that's what she said. Freddy-or Teddy. Teddy-or Freddy. One or the other. (full quote)
  Selsdon? I'm not blind! I can see Selsdon! (full quote)
  1) And don't fall down Tim, we might not be insured. 2) What? > (full quote)
  And God said where the hell is Tim? And there the hell was Tim. (full quote)
Luna They're in Spain too, they're all in Spain. Am I in Spain no I'm not in Spain I'm in agony that's where I am. (full quote)
2393 Bag Bag! what Do You Mean Bag Bag? Bag Bag Bag!! (full quote)
  M-M-M-Mrs. Newspaper! (full quote)
  That's right, nowhere like bed when they all get on top of ya! (full quote)
37040 Lloyd:Brooke? Brooke:Yes? Lloyd:Are you in? Brooke:In? Lloyd:Are you there? Brooke:what? Lloyd:You're out. I'll call again. (full quote)
37040 Actor1:And God said, where the Hell is Tim? And there the Hell was Tim. And God said, Let there be doors that open when they open, and close when they close. Tim:Do somthing? Actor:DOORS!!! Tim:I was getting bannans for the sardines. (full quote)
37040 Lucky I can't see far with this leg. (full quote)
10929 --Anything wrong with the seat? --Yes, it faces the stage. (full quote)
37040 Tim, let me tell you about my life in the big apple. I've got Hamlet's ghost on the phone for an hour every night complaining that Polonius is sucking sourballs through his speeches. Gertrude is off every afternoon doing a soap, and Claudius is off doing a commercial for Gallo wine. Hamlet himself, would you believe, has come down with a psychological problem. Now Brooke rings me to say she's very unhappy here and she's got herself a doctor's certificate for nervous exhaustion. I haven't got the time to find and rehearse a new Vicky. I have just one afternoon, while Hamlet sees his shrink and Ophelia starts divorce proceedings, to cure Brooke of her nervous exhaustion with a little whiskey... you've got the whiskey, some flowers... you've got money for the flowers, and a certain fading bedside manner. So I haven't come to the theater to hear about other people's probelms. I've come to be taken out of myself, and preferably not put back again. (full quote)
37040 Selsdon: what's next on the bill? Lloyd: Well, Selsdon, I thought we'd try a spot of rehearsal. Selsdon: Oh, I won't, thank you. Lloyd: You won't? Selsdon: No, you all go ahead. I'll just sit and watch. This is... beer in the wardrobe, is it? Belinda: No, my dear, he wants us to rehearse. Selsdon: Yes, but I think we've got to rehearse, haven't we? Lloyd: Yes, Selsdon. Right. Well done. I knew you'd think of something. (full quote)
Drachenfuer Am I in Spain? No I'm not in Spain, dear, I'm in agony, that's where I am! (full quote)
Drachenfuer Lloyd: Brooke? Brooke: Yes? Lloyd: Are you in? Brooke: In? Lloyd: Are you there? Brooke: what? Lloyd: You're out. Okay. I'll call again. (full quote)
Drachenfuer I was getting the bananas for the sardines. (full quote)
Drachenfuer Lloyd: I'm starting to know what God felt like when he sat out there in the darkness, creating the world. Belinda: And what did he feel like, Lloyd my dear? Lloyd: Very pleased he'd taken his Valium. (full quote)