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Clueless - 1995 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
2946 she could be a farmer in those clothes! (full quote)
2946 Why am I even listening to you? You're a virgin who can't drive (full quote)
2227 1: you guys talk like grownups 2: Well this is a really good school. (full quote)
2227 1: hello, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road 2:I am, you try driving in platforms! (full quote)
1212 1)I'm still all red. 2)Well, I'm trying to make you as white as I can,Cher. (full quote)
2227 Is Josh giving you shit because he's going throught his post-adolescent idealistic phase? (full quote)
2227 I don't get it?! Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? (full quote)
  I'm so glad Marky Mark could take time off from his busy pants-dropping schedule to plant a tree! (full quote)
  Cuz I'm keepin it real! Cuz I'm keepin it real! (full quote)
3225 May I remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty (full quote)
  Is that flannel a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the fridge? (full quote)
  Two permits do not equal a license. (full quote)
  #1: Woman, lend me five dolla's. #2: Murray, I've asked you repeatedly not to call me 'woman'! #1: Excuse me Ms. Dion... (full quote)
  what are the chances of me getting you to leave me alone? mmmm.... slim to none (full quote)
Maharet12 I totally paused (full quote)
  No, but speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain to me how this cheap K-mart hair extension got into the back seat of your car. (full quote)
  So ok i dont wanna be a trader to my generation and all but I dont get how guys dress today. I mean c'mon it looks like they just fell outta bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greesy hair ew and cover it up with a backwards cap and like we're expected to swoon? I dont think so. (full quote)
  #1 Tai: I could really use some herbal refreshment if you know what i mean. #2 Cher: Well we don't have tea but we do have coke. #3 Tai: No shit, you guys have coke? (full quote)
4765 #1 Tai: I could really go for some kind of herbal refreshment if ya know what I mean. #2 Cher: Well we don't have tea but we have coke. #1 Tai: No shit , you guys got coke! (full quote)
  searching for a boy in high school, is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie. (full quote)
  Sometimes you have to show a little skin, that reminds guys of being naked and then they think of sex (full quote)
  It's in the bag. (full quote)
5033 You look like pipi longstocking. Well you look like Forrest Gump. Who's pipi longstocking? Someone Mell Gibson never played. Funny. (full quote)
4066 1. It's like Hamlet said , To thine own self be true. 2. um, no Hamlet didn't say that. 1. I think I remember Hamlet accuretly. 2. Well I remember Mel Gibson accuretly, and he didn't say that. It was that Colonius guy. (full quote)
5059 ...a disco-dancin'-Oscar Wilde readin'-Streisand-ticket holdin'- friend of Dorothy, you know what I'm saying? (full quote)
5278 Mr. Hall I was totally surfing the crimson wave....i had to hall ass to the ladies! (full quote)
5240 1: You shaved your head, why? 2: Cuz I'm keeping it real. 3: It's DA BOMB! 1: and before senior pictures? what am I gonna tell my grandchildren? That's it I'm calling your mother. 2. Wait! Don't call my mom, don't call my mom, don't call my mom, open the door! (full quote)
5240 Cher: yo Jigga! (full quote)
  Cher: Would you call me selfish? Dione: No, not to your face. (full quote)
5394 aww honey, you baked! (full quote)
5394 and my buns, they don't feel nothin' like steel (full quote)
  if anything happens to my daughter I have a 45 and a shovel, I doubt anyone would miss you (full quote)
  if anything happens to my daughter I have a 45 and a shovel, I doubt anyone would miss you (full quote)
zeusjuice That was way harsh. (full quote)
5551 I couldn't be happier if these had been based on real grades (full quote)
5606 You've seen how picky I am about my shoes...and they just go on my feet! (full quote)
5172 Ooo! Get off of me! Uh, AS IF! (full quote)
5172 And with that in mind, I'm going to distribute you report cards. Now, is there a Christian Stobich in this class? (full quote)
5172 Now could all conversations please come to a halt. And could the suicide attempts please be postponed till the next period? (full quote)
5172 ? She died when I was just a baby. A fluke accident during a routine liposuction. (full quote)
  I am not a mexican! (full quote)
  Murray- woman lend fi'dollars Diane- murray i have asked you repeatedly not to call me woman. Murray- well excuse me miss Diane! ok but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking but not necessarily a misadinistic undertone! (full quote)
  Cher: Duh! It's like a famous quote? Dionne: From where? Cher: Cliff's Notes (full quote)
  I do not wear polyester hair ok? (full quote)
  1: ya know because of the ulcers 2: but you had all those capuccinos before 1: but ya know thats like foam... (full quote)
  Now....squeeze your butics in. (full quote)
  Now....squeeze your butics in. (full quote)
  hes a cake boy! hes a disco dancin', oscar wilde reading, streisand ticket holding, friend of dorothy's. He's gay! (full quote)
  Ok, so like right now for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people were like well what about the strain on our resources? But it was like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, I said RSVP on the invitation because it was a sit down dinner. But people came that like did not RSVP. So I was totally buggin. I had to haul-ass to the kitchen, re-distribute the food, sqwish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was like the more the merrier! So if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians! And in conclusion may I please remind you that it does not say RSVP on the statue of libery. (full quote)
  ok, so you're problably going is this some kind of a Noxzema commercial or what?!? (full quote)
  I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of carefree gum (full quote)
  heres where dionne lives, shes my friend becasuse we both know what its like to have people be jelous of us. (full quote)
  Shit , You guys, I've never had straight friends before! (full quote)
  God, Elton can't you suck?! (full quote)
  What did I do? I've created some sort of a monster. I could feel the chunks start to rise up in my troat, I had to get out! Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong about Elton, I was wrong about Christian, and now Josh hated me. It all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion, I was just totally clueless. Oh and this Josh and Tai thing was just wiggin me more then anything, I mean what was my problem Tai is my pal I don't begrudge her a boyfriend, I really... Ooo I wonder if they have that in my size. What does she want with Josh anyway? He dresses funny, he listens to complaint rock, he's not even cute in the conventional way. I mean he's just like this SLUG who hangs around the house all day, ugh, and he's a hiddious dancer, you couldn't take him anywhere. Wait a second what am I stressing about, he's like... JOSH. Ok, Ok so he's kind of a Baldwin but what would he want with Tai? She couldn't make him happy, Josh needs someone with imagination, someone to take care of him, someone to laugh at his jokes... incase he ever makes any. Then suddenly... OH MY GOSH!! I LOVE JOSH!!... I am majorly, totally, butt-crazy in love with Josh... but now i don't know how to act around him. I mean ordinaraly I'd strut around him in my cutest little outfits and send myself flowers and candy... but I couldn't do that stuff with Josh... (full quote)
  Cher: Did I really ruin Daddy's lawsuit? Josh: No, of course not. Cher: Well did I set him back? I mean theres so much work to be done, and he can't afford to lose that time. Josh: Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it your father won't lose any time. Can you imangin the nerve of that guy? I mean, making you worry like that. He's the one that screwed up, and then he goes and blames us. Imangin saying we were... you know... Cher: That's right, you've been very dedicated to this case. Josh: Yeah Well it's good learning experience, atleast for me. I want to be a lawyer. But you... I mean you don't need to be doing this. Go out and have fun! Go shopping! Cher: You think that's all I do? I'm just a ditz with a credit card? Josh: No,no uhh that's not what I ment. It's just... uhh... you're young and beautiful... and... Cher: And... Josh: And... And... well... what? Cher: You think I'm beautiful? Josh: Uhh... you know... you know you're gorgious alright, and popular... and uhh and... But this isn't why I ya know I come here. This is a good learning experience for me Cher: You already said that. Josh: MEL... I want to help out Mel. He's the only one who cares about me. Cher: Thats not true. Josh: He's not? Cher: No Josh: Are you saying you care about me? Cher: JOSH... ........KISS......... (full quote)
  lalala (full quote)
  Cher:Survey says? Tai:Doable. Di:ehh, I like em big. Cher:ew I hate muscles. Tai:yeah, well I don't really care either way, just as long as his you-know-what isn't crooked. I really hate that! Cher:what?! Di:shh! Tai:what? Di:Cher's savin herself for Luke Perry. Cher:I am not. Tai:Cher, you're a virgin? Cher:God, you sound like it's a bad thing. I'm just waiting for the right guy to come along. I mean, you see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet! Like you're one to talk, Di. Tai: w-wa-wait a minute, I thought that you and Murray were like.. Di:my man is SATISFIED, he's got no reason for complaints, but technically, yes, I'm a virgin. (full quote)
  Your man Christain is a cake boy!~A what?!?~ He's a disco dancin' oscar wall breedin' Streisand ticket holdin', friend of Dorothy, know what I'm sayin'? He's GAY!! (full quote)
  hey (full quote)
  1 (full quote)
  Cher: OH MY GOOD LORD IS THAT A FISH IN YOUR HAIR? Dionne: EEP GET IT OUT BEFORE THE FLYING POTATO EATERS SEE IT!!! Cher: You look hot in that dress. Dionne: Things that make you go... Cher: Mmmm... (full quote)
  Cher: OH MY GOOD LORD IS THAT A FISH IN YOUR HAIR? Dionne: EEP GET IT OUT BEFORE THE FLYING POTATO EATERS SEE IT!!! Cher: You look hot in that dress. Dionne: Things that make you go... Cher: Mmmm... (full quote)
  (full quote)
  msgbox (full quote)
  Josh why don't you go torture a new family! (full quote)
  1) Cher, get in here! 2)Yes Daddy? 1)what the hell is that? 2)A dress! 1)Say's Who? 2) Calvin Cline! (full quote)
1250 1. Do you like billie Holliday? 2. Oh, I LOVE him! (full quote)
4904 1. Lucy you know I don't speak Mexican. 2. I NOT a Mexican! 1. what was that about? 3. Lucy's from El Salvadore. 1. So? 3. So, it's an enirely different country! (full quote)
4904 1. Which I'll bet serves your interest more than theirs. You know, if I ever saw you do anything that wasn't 90 percent selfish, I'd die of shock. 2. Oh that'd be reason enough for me. (full quote)
4904 1. At least I didn't skin a collie to make my backpack. 2. It's faux! (full quote)
4904 1. I think it is a travesty on the part of the legal profession. 2. Thank you for that perspective Cher. (full quote)
4904 1. I was trying to get you together with Tai! 2. Tai! Why would I go out with Tai? 1. Why not? 2. Don't you know who my father is?! 1. Ugh! You are snob and a half. (full quote)
4904 Now all night, I'm gonna be known as that girl who fell on her butt. (full quote)
4904 1. Is it James Dean or is it Jason Priestly? 2. Carpe Diem! You looked hot in it! (full quote)
4904 1. Isn't there someone I can talk to, like a supervior or something? I mean, you can't be the absolute end in driver's liscences. 2. Honey, as far as you're concerned, I'm the messiah of the DMV. (full quote)
4904 1. That's Ren and Stimpy. They are way exestential. 2. Do you even know what you're talking about? 1. No. Why do I sound like I do? (full quote)
4904 1. What's with you? You haven't even watched the Real World. 2. I care about the news. 1. Since when? 2.Since now. I thought they declared peace in the Middle East. (full quote)
4904 He needs someone to take care of him and laugh at his jokes. In case he ever makes any. (full quote)
4904 Cher is saving herself for Luke Perry. (full quote)
4904 Yo you're gettin' on the freeway! (full quote)
4904 1. Do you know what time it is?! 2. A watch doesn't really go with this outfit Daddy. (full quote)
4904 1. Say Ambular. 2. Oh hi! 1. Been digging through my trash? 2. Yeah right. Like I would really shop at Judy's. 1. Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged? (full quote)
4943 your man Christian's a cakeboy! (full quote)
4943 You're a virgin who can't drive! (full quote)
4943 searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie. (full quote)
5172 Well sure, she has runs in her stockings, and her slip is always showing, and she always has more lipstick on her teeth than her mouth. God, this woman is screaming for a make-over. I'm her only hope. (full quote)
5172 This is so unexpected, I, uh, I didn't even have a speech prepared. Uh, but I would like to say this: Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. Uh, I'd like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid, and, uh, last but not least, the wonderful crew at McDonalds for spending hours making those egg McMuffins, without which I might never be tardy. (full quote)
5172 (1)Would you tell me what the hell this is? (2)Um, a second notice for three outstanding tickets. I don't remember getting a first notice. (1)The ticket is the first notice. I didn't even know you could get tickets without a licence. (2)Oh, sure you can. You can get tickets anytime. (1)Oh, is that so? (full quote)
5765 Thank you, Josh, I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about Kenny G again! (full quote)
5943 hello!!! it was his fiftieth birthday (full quote)
5943 ooohh! snickers! (full quote)
5943 it's the bomb! (full quote)
5943 OK...so you're probably thinking..is this like an eczema commercial or what?....but actually i have a way normal life....i get up, brush my hair, and pick out my school clothes (full quote)
5943 Hey Mom ! 98 in Geometry, pretty groovy huh?!?! (full quote)
5967 You're a virgin who can't drive. (full quote)
6019 Joshes girlfriend:It's like Hamlet said , To thine own self be true. Cher:. um, no Hamlet didn't say that. Girlfriend; I think I remember Hamlet accuretly. cher. Well I remember Mel Gibson accuretly, and he didn't say that. It was that Polonius guy. (full quote)
6087 Why practice parking? Everywhere you go has valet! (full quote)
6450 1. Cher, get in here. 2. what's up, Daddy? 1. what the hell is that? 2. A dress. 1. Says who?! 2. Calvin Klein. 1. It looks like underwear. Go upstairs and put something over it. (full quote)
6664 Cher, that was a STOP sign! > I totally paused! (full quote)
6846 Lucy! Lucy! where's my white-collar shirt from Fred Sigeals? (full quote)
6911 A licensed driver with nothing to do... Where would I find such a loser? (full quote)
7222 i wanna do something good for humanity how about sterilization (full quote)
7222 lets try parking whats the point everywhere you go they have vallet (full quote)
7222 searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a pauly shore movie (full quote)
7222 dont tell me those braindead low lifes are calling again they are your parents (full quote)
7319 Two very enthusiastic thumbs up! Fine holiday fun! (full quote)
7539 1) Do you like billie Holliday? 2) I love him. (full quote)
7539 Do you see how he is falling in love with me?! (full quote)
7539 Do you how he is in love with me?! (full quote)
7768 (T)Oh my god, he's going with Amber?! (C)No, he's probably just dancing with her. (T)Do you think she's prettier than me? (C)No way! She's a full on Monet! (T)what's a Monet? (C)It's something that looks ok from far away, but up close it's just a big old mess. (full quote)
8059 Ok, I call them! (full quote)
8089 You divorce with wives, no children!! (full quote)
8487 All conversations please come to a halt! And would the suicide attempts be postponed until next period? (full quote)
Abigiggle11 Aw, honey, you baked. (full quote)
9798 Woman, lend me five dollars. I've asked you repeated times not to call me woman. Excuse me, miss Dion. But street slang is an increasingly valid form of self expression. Most of the feminine pronouns have mocking, but not necessarily massoganistic undertones. Wow, you guys talk like grown-ups! Yeah, well this is a really good school. (full quote)
9841 1-So was that you going through my laundry? 2-As if! Like I would really wear something from Judy's 1-Do you prefer fashion victim, or ensembly challanged? (full quote)
9864 cher: hey granola breath, you got something on your chin. josh: i'm growing a goatee. cher: well thats good, you wouldnt want to be the last one in the cofee house without chin pubes. (full quote)
11289 You could be a farmer in those clothes. (full quote)
11289 Oh her, she's like a Monet. Huh ? Well,from far away she looks pretty good but up close she's just a big old mess. (full quote)
  Mel: what's the matter with you kid? Do you think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack? (full quote)
  u r cool dude! (full quote)
  IT's just a dress daddy! (full quote)
  Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kinds of lawyers. Even our maid, Lucy, is terrified of him. He gets $500 an hour to fight with people, but he fights with me for free cuz I'm his daughter! (full quote)
  ......I know how you always say never accept a first offer so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations... (full quote)
  1) right before you die, your mind just gets very clear. its a very spiritual..2) well i know when i was held at gunpoint..3) exuse me you were saying (full quote)
  1)right before you die, your mind gets very clear. its a very spiritual..2)well i know when i was held at gunpoint..3) exuse me, you were saying.. (full quote)
  1) are those low lifes calling again 2) well daddy they are your parents (full quote)
  I don't want to be a traitor to my generation but i dont get how guys dress today i mean it looks like they just rolled out of bed put on a pair of baggy pants, and take their greasy hair ew cover it up with a backwards cap and like we are expected to swoon.... i dont think so (full quote)
  wow! nice butt!! (full quote)
  My foot hurts... can I go to the nurse? (full quote)
  sure Miss Gyst has runs in her stockings and her slip is always showing and she has more lipstick on her teeth than on her mouth, god this woman is screaming for a makeover. I am her only hope. (full quote)
  That was so cool the way you did that. I wish I could do it. Oh no cause then what would guys do to impress them. I dont know like stuff. What kind of stuff. Tie I need you. Eltons over there. (full quote)
  whats seven times seven. Stuff she knows. (full quote)
  My plastic surgeon said I cant do anything were balls fly at my nose. Well there goes your social life. (full quote)
  what do the numbers on the top say. There arent numbers there are letters. Ergh!!!!!! Murray shut up (full quote)
  you do whatever you wants with your butts, i'm calling in sick. (full quote)
  1.You mean to tell me you argued your way from a C-plus to an A-minus? 2. Are you proud of me? 1. Even prouder than if it were based on real grades! (full quote)
  Mugger:Ok, get down on your knees Cher:No, no, it's an alaya Mugger: a-what-a? Cher: an Alaya....it's like a totally important designer. Mugger: and I will like totally shoot you in the head. (full quote)
  And could the suicide attempts please come to a halt until the next period. (full quote)
  (D reads)Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,but thy eternal summer shall not fade.D-Phat did you write that?C-Duh its like a famous quote.D-from where?C-Cliffs notes.D-Oh. (full quote)
  She's as fake as press on nails. (full quote)
  Di: The p.c. term is hymanally challenged (full quote)
  Tai: Break me off a piece of that (full quote)
  1) But why does he have to come over for dinner? You were only married to his mother for a little bit FIVE YEARS AGO! 2) You divorce wives, not children. (full quote)
  Tai: But not Sporadically! (full quote)
  1: I thought you had a Hemmi. 2: Yeah...well i'm gettin a footprint gas pedal installed, so i stole this pile. 1: oh. my little outlaw. (full quote)
  Get over yourself, goodbye! (full quote)
  1)Cher, what are you wearing? 2)A dress...1) Says who?! 2) Says Calvin Klein!! (full quote)
  Di? Did you get your report card? (full quote)
  Di and i are friends because we both know what it's like to have people be jealous of us! (full quote)
  Amber: My doctor said i can't do any activities where balls fly at my head. Dionne: Well there goes your social life (full quote)
  Hey kid, I got a 45 and a shovel I doubt anyone would miss you! (full quote)
  If anything happens to my daughter, I've got a 54 and a shovel, I doubt anyone will miss you. (full quote)
  1.Lucy,you know I don't speak Mexican. 2. I not a Mexican! 1. Great, what was that about? 3. Lucy's from El Salvador 1. So? 3. Its a totally different country. (full quote)
  It was nice to meet you. Yeah, I hope its not just sparatically! (full quote)
  Cher: SO... i gues this goes in kitchenware? Travis: Funny, thats where i used to keep it! (full quote)
  look you're a virgin who can't drive (full quote)
  Cher:Dee,would you look at that girl;she is so adorablly clueless.We have got to adopt her! Dee: Cher,she is to-up. Our stock would plummet. Cher: Dee,don't you want to use your popularity for a good cause? Dee: No. (full quote)
  Cher:Waa,waa,waa!what's up with college students and crybabys? (full quote)
  Dee:Oh,no, Ms. Stoeger. I have a note from my tennis instructer, and he would prefer that I didnt expose myself to any training that might derail his teachings. (full quote)
  Cher:Ms. Stoeger, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen!Ms. Stoeger: Thanks for the legal advice. (full quote)
  So, what did you do today? Well...I broke into my purple clogs. (full quote)
  Cher, doesn't Josh look bigger? His head does. (full quote)
  SOLID!! (full quote)
  SOLID!! (full quote)
  Oh my God!!! I love Josh...but know I dont know how to act around him.. (full quote)
  Josh...Im sorry but some people arent naturally as adorable as you are (full quote)
  Cher: Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good. (full quote)
  Ok, well street slang is an increasingly valid from of self expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mockings, but not necessarily mysoginistic undertones. (full quote)
  1:You gotta ask her questions, keep her conscience. 2: what's 7 times 7? 1: Stuff she knows (full quote)
  1: Cher, where are you? 2: Just having a quick snack with my girlfriends. 1: Where in Quiat (sp)? 2: is that in the valley? (full quote)
  I dont date highschool boys! Their like digs. You have to clean them and feed them. They're just like these nervous creatures that like to jump and slober all over you. (full quote)
  1. its billy holiday 2. i love him!! (full quote)
  Josh: Be seing you! Tai: Yeah, I hope not sporadically! (full quote)
  You're a snob and a half. (full quote)
  what? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the rat pack? (full quote)
3605 Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of carefree gum. (full quote)
3605 1) Oh, look, Josh is dancing with Tai. He never dances. 2) I can see why. (full quote)
3605 Old people can be so sweet. (full quote)
3605 Isn't my house classic? The columns date back all the way to 1972! (full quote)
3605 Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value! (full quote)
3605 1) It's just like Hamlet said, 'To thine own self be true.' 2) Uh, Hamlet didn't say that. 1) I think I remember Hamlet accurately. 2) Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and Hamlet didn't say that. It was that Polonius guy. (full quote)
3605 1) Would you say I'm selfish? 2) No, not to your face. (full quote)
3605 Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past who now do infomercials. (full quote)
3605 1) You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A? 2) totally based on my powers of persuasion. 1) Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades. (full quote)
3605 1) Miss Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose. 2) Well, there goes your social life. (full quote)
3605 I am majorly, totally, butt-crazy in love with Josh! (full quote)
CarmiCrowe Finding a boy in high school is as useless as finding meaning in a Pauly Shore movie. (full quote)
10053 She's my friend because we both know what it's like to have people be jealous of us. (full quote)
10053 We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree. (full quote)
10053 Hey brainiac (full quote)
12235 cher: I wanna do something good for humanity josh: how about sterilization? (full quote)
12235 cher: I wanna do something good for humanity josh: how about sterilization? (full quote)
12243 Hey James Bond, in America we drive on the right side on the road. (full quote)
12629 Josh: You look like Pippy Long stocking. Cher: And you look like Forrest Gump, who's Pippy Long stocking? Josh: Someone that Mel Gibson didn't play. (full quote)
13843 1. It's like Hamlet said , To thine own self be true. 2. um, no Hamlet didn't say that. 1. I think I remember Hamlet accuretly. 2. Well I remember Mel Gibson accuretly, and he didn't say that. It was that Polonius guy. (full quote)
14530 It is one thing to spark up a dooby and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day. Do you see the disinction? (full quote)
14530 It is one thing to spark up a dooby and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day. Do you see the disinction? (full quote)
14740 1. cash me a fill and I'll pay you back?...Thanks. 2. Do you see how he is falling in love with me? (full quote)
14740 See, it's like this time when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right. It said RSVP on the invitation, but people came that did, like, NOT RSVP, so I was like totally buggin. I had to hall ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra plate settings, but by the end of the day, it was, like, the more the merrier! And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians! And may I remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty!!! (full quote)
14740 I felt impotent and out of control, which I really hate. I needed to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength. (full quote)
14740 1. Jeepin?! Jeepin! No, but speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain to me how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the back seat of your car! 2. I don't know where that shit came from, it looks like one of them stringy things you got on here. 1. I do not wear polyester hair okay! Unlike some people I know, like Shawana! (full quote)
14740 1. That's it! I've had it with you! 2. Is it that time of the month again!? (Crowd gasps) (full quote)
14952 My doctor said I can't do anything that requires balls flying at my face. RESPONSE: There goes your social life. (full quote)
15067 Mentos fresh and full of life! Mentos the freshmaker! (full quote)
15067 Mentos fresh and full of life! Mentos the freshmaker! (full quote)
15067 -He is so possessive. -Tell me about it. (full quote)
15083 So ok like right now for example, the Hadians need to come to America, but some people are like what about the strain on our resources. But it's like when I had this garden party for my fathers birthday right I said RSVP cause it was like a sit down dinner, but people came that did like not RSVP so I was like totally buggin. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings, but by the end of the day it was like the more the merrier, and so if the government could just get to the kitchen rearrange a few things, we could certainly party with the Hadians and in conclusion may I please remind you that it does not say RSVP on the statue of liberty! Thank you very much (full quote)
16509 1)I say we go out to Malibu soon. 2) Are those brain dead low-lifes calling again? 1) They are your parents!! (full quote)
16516 You see how picky I am about my shoes, and those only go on my feet. (full quote)
16516 Tardiness is not something you can do on your own, many people contributed to my tardiness: I'd like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid, and the crew of McDonalds for making those itty bitty egg McMuffins, without which I might have never been tardy. (full quote)
17724 I am...you try driving in platforms (full quote)
17864 1)Don't tell me those brain-dead low-lifes called again. 2)Uh, they ARE your parents. (full quote)
17864 Did I miss something? Is big hair back? (full quote)
17864 1)Duh, it's like a famous quote. 2)From who? 1)Cliff's Notes. (full quote)
17864 This is so unexpected! I didn't even have a speech prepared, but I would like to say this: tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I'd like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid, and last but not least, the wonderful crew at McDonald's for spending hours making those Egg McMuffins, without which, I might never be tardy. (full quote)
20328 Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembelly challenged. (full quote)
20579 So OK, you're probably thinking, 'Is this, like a Noxema commercial, or what?!' But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl. I mean I get up, I brush my teeth, and I pick out my school clothes (full quote)
20579 I felt impotent and out of control, which I really hate. I needed to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength (full quote)
20579 This is so unexpected, I, uh, I didn't even have a speech prepared. Uh, but I would like to say this: Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. Uh, I'd like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid, and, uh, last but not least, the wonderful crew at McDonalds for spending hours making those egg McMuffins, without which I might never be tardy. (full quote)
21100 Are you suffering from buyers remorse? (full quote)
21100 what's with you, kid? Do you think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Ratpack? (full quote)
21945 Cher: So then I have to say.... Dee, why do you put up with him? You could do much better... Dee: I know I know wait, here he is. (Shoop, shoop ba doop) Murray: Woman, lend me 5 dollas. Dee: I HATE it when you call me woman. Murrary: Excuse me Miss Dionne. But street slang is becoming an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily masogynistic undertones. Tai: Holy shit, you guys talk like grown-ups. Cher: Well yeah, this is a really good school. (full quote)
21945 Mr Hull: Is there a Christian Stovich in this class? Cher (raising hand): Oh, Mr Hull, the buzz on Christian is that his parents have joint custody. So he'll be spending one semester here, and one semester in chicago. personally, I think it is a travesty on the part of a legal profession. Mr Hull: Well, thank you for that perspective Cher. (full quote)
21945 Murray: Yo, are u bitches blind or somethin'?! Your man Christian's a cakeboy! Girls: A WHAT?! Murray: He's a disco-dancin', Oscar wilde readin', Streisand ticket holdin' friend of Dorothy, you know what I'm sayin'? (full quote)
21945 Cher: Heyyy, that's Beavis and Butthead. They are WAY existential. Josh: Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Cher: No. Why, do I sound like I do? (full quote)
21945 Dad: At least Josh has direction. I'd like to see YOU have a little direction. Cher: I have direction. Josh: Yeah, towards the mall. Dad: Speaking of that, where's your report card? Cher: Oh, it's not ready yet. Dad: What do you mean it's not ready yet? Cher: Well, some teachers were trying to lope on me daddy, and I know you say never accept a first offer so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations! Dad: Very good. (Phone rings and he picks up). Cher: Ugh, you are SUCH a brown-noser. Josh: Oh, and you are such a superficial space cadet. What makes you think you can get teachers to change your grades? Cher: Only the fact that I've done it every other semester! (full quote)
21945 Cher: Ok, so I was having this garden party for my father's birthday, right? And like, I wrote on the invitations to like RSVP, but people came that like did NOT RSVP. So I was like totally buggin', I had to haul ass to the kitchen, rearrange ALL the place settings... *sigh* But, in the end, it was like, the more the merrier! So, if the government could just GET the kitchen, REARRANGE some things, we could CERTAINLY party with the Hate-ians. And, let me remind you, it does NOT SAY RSVP on the statue of liberty! *twirls gum* Thank you very much! Eeee! Mr Hull: Uh. Amber? A reply? Amber: Mr Hull, how can I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some little party! Cher: Hello!!!! It was his 50th BIRTHDAY! Amber: WHAT-EVER. If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine. (full quote)
21945 Cher: Ok, so I was having this garden party for my father's birthday, right? And like, I wrote on the invitations to like RSVP, but people came that like did NOT RSVP. So I was like totally buggin', I had to haul ass to the kitchen, rearrange ALL the place settings... *sigh* But, in the end, it was like, the more the merrier! So, if the government could just GET the kitchen, REARRANGE some things, we could CERTAINLY party with the Hate-ians. And, let me remind you, it does NOT SAY RSVP on the statue of liberty! *twirls gum* Thank you very much! Eeee! Mr Hull: Uh. Amber? A reply? Amber: Mr Hull, how can I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some little party! Cher: Hello!!!! It was his 50th BIRTHDAY! Amber: WHAT-EVER. If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine. (full quote)
22377 Mel(on cell phone) : Cher, do YOU know what time it is! Cher: Daddy, a watch doesn't really go with this dress. (full quote)
23383 Mel: Cher...get in here. Cher: what's up, Daddy? Mel: what are you wearing? Cher: A dress. Mel: Says who? Cher: Calvin Klein. (full quote)
24986 So, OK, I was at this party, and my designated driver tried to attack me, so I got out 'cause we'd stopped, and then he drove off and deserted me, and then this guy with a gun held me up, took my money, and my phone and he yelled at me and he forced me to ruin my dress! (full quote)
24986 You don't understand, this is an Alaya 2) an a whatta? 3)It's like this totally important designer 3) and I will totally shoot you in the head (full quote)
24986 You know what would be totally dope? If we could stop by and get some delicious take-out...I bet they haven't eaten all night. (full quote)
24986 So, OK, I was at this party, and my designated driver tried to attack me, so I got out 'cause we'd stopped, and then he drove off and deserted me, and then this guy with a gun held me up, took my money, and my phone and he yelled at me and he forced me to ruin my dress! (full quote)
24986 So, OK. I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, c'mon, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants, and take their greasy hair, Ew! And cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so! (full quote)
24986 1) Hello?! Was I the only one listening? I mean, I thought it reeked! 2) I believe that was your designer impostor perfume. (full quote)
24986 During the next few days I did what any normal girl would do. I sent myself love letters, and flowers, and candy, just so he'd see how desired I was, in case he didn't already know. (full quote)
24986 Nice pile of bricks you got here... (full quote)
24986 Look, I'm just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself? (full quote)
24986 I suppose it wasn't meant to be, I mean, he does dress better than I do. what would I bring to the relationship? (full quote)
24986 Glance with your head, not the whole car. I swear to God, I swear to God, Woman, you can't drive for shit! (full quote)
24986 I don't know where she meets these Barnies. (full quote)
24986 How'd you do? Well, let's see shall we? You can't park, you can't switch lanes, you can't make right-hand turns, you damaged private property, and you almost killed someone. Off hand, I'd say you failed! (full quote)
24986 Failed?! Can't we just start over, I mean, I'm kind of having a personal problem, my mind was somewhere else, I mean, you saw how that biker came out of nowhere, right? I swear I'll concentrate, I drive really good, usually. Isn't there somebody else I can talk to, a supervisor or something, I mean, you can't be the absolute and final word in driver's licences? (full quote)
24986 Girly, as far as your concerned, I am the Messiah of the D.M.V. Now, get out of the car. (full quote)
24986 what, am I some sort of mentally challenged airhead? (full quote)
24986 1) Cher, what are you doing? 2)I'm captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief. 3)I don't think they need your skis. 4)Daddy, some people lost all their belongings, don't you think that includes athletic equipment? (full quote)
24986 Shopping with Dr. Seuss? (full quote)
24986 Dionne and her boyfriend, Murray are in this dramatic relationship. I think they've seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie just too many times. (full quote)
24986 I totally choked. My father is going to go ballistic on me (full quote)
24986 1) you're such a brown-noser! 2) and you're this superficial space cadet! (full quote)
24986 So, the flannel shirt deal. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator? (full quote)
25964 Hey James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road...Hey you try driving in platforms! (full quote)
Janni 1. Are you telling me that u argued your way from a C to an A-? 2. Mmhhmmm, u happy? 1. I couldn't be happier if these were based on real grades. (full quote)
Janni If anything happens to my daughter i've got a .45 and a shovel, i doubt anyone would miss you. (full quote)
KoolKatt 'Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.' 'Well, there goes your social life.' (full quote)
28373 1. Look, I'm just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself? 2. Not everyone can be as naturally adorable as you. 1. Stop it, you’re making me blush. (full quote)
29466 Cher: No way! This is an Alayah! Mugger: An A-whatah? Cher: It's like this totally important designer! Mugger: And I will like totally shoot your head off! (full quote)
30110 duh (full quote)
30381 Elton help her..ask her some questions... OK what's 7 X 7? Uhhh stuff that she knows Elton (full quote)
30381 Cher: That's my mom, isn't she a betty? (full quote)
30585 Cher: I was surfing the crimson waves. Mr. Hall: I will assume your referring to women probles (full quote)
31367 Ok, like right now, for example, the Hatians want to come to America, but people are all'what about the starin on our resources?'...but it's like this one time, we had a garden party for my father's birthday, and I put RSVP on the invitation cuz it was a sit down dinner, but people came that like did not RSVP so I was totally buggin. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the place settings, but by the end of the night it was like the more the marrier. So if the government could just get into the kitchen, rearrange somethings, we could certainly party with the Hatians... (full quote)
31367 Dad: Cher, get in here. Cher: what's up, Daddy? Dad:what the hell is that? Cher: A dress. Dad: Says who? Cher: Calvin Klein. Dad: It looks like underwear. Go upstairs and put something over it. (full quote)
31367 Christian: Do you like billie Holliday? Cher: I love him. (full quote)
32757 Besides, the PC term is Hymenally challenged. (full quote)
32757 Cher: Dee, would you look at that girl, she is so adorably clueless. We've got to adopt her. Dee: Cher, she is toe-up. Our stock would plummet. (full quote)
33899 My birthday is in April, and as someone older, can I please give you some advice? It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day. (full quote)
34680 Well, you can guess what happened next...As if! I'm only 16 and this is NOT Kentucky! (full quote)
34680 Excuse me. I have donated many expensive Italian suits to Lucy, and as soon as I get my licence I fully intend to break for animals, and I have given up many hours to helping two lonely teachers find love thank you very much! (full quote)
34680 Josh: Well it was nice meeting you Tai. See you around! Tai: Hopefully not sporadically! (full quote)
34680 Dad: At least he has direction and knows what he wants to do! Cher: I have direction! Josh: Yeah- towards the mall. (full quote)
34680 Josh: Well, I was looking into Environmental law. Dad: Why? So you can be miserable for the rest of your life? Cher: Oh Daddy, Josh will have that no matter what he does! (full quote)
34680 Josh: Wow. You're really fillin out there! Cher: Wow. your mouth is finally catching up with your head! (full quote)
35875 If anything happens to my daughter, I have a shotgun and a shovel and I doubt you will be missed. (full quote)
37193 I not a mexican (full quote)
37230 Mr. Hall how could i answer that the topice is about hadients and his talking about some little party. Hello it was his 50th birthday! whatever (full quote)
37230 Mr. Hall how could i answer that the topice is about hadients and his talking about some little party. Hello it was his 50th birthday! whatever (full quote)
  Out back, i got a 45 and a shovel. i doubt anyone would miss you. (full quote)
  Well, you can guess what happened next... As if! I am only 16. And this is California not Kentucky. (full quote)
  Ms. Sotger, that machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen. (full quote)
  Dion's Virginity Went From Partial To Non-Existent (full quote)
  Murray: He's a disco dancin', Oscar Wilde readin', Streisand ticket holdin' friend of Dorothy, know what I'm sayin'? (full quote)
  1: Was anyone else listening to that, i thought it reaked 2: No amber, i believe that was your designer imposter perfume 1: Mr Hall, How am i suppose to answer that? The topic is haiti and she's talking about some little party 2: It was his 50th birthday! 1: whatever, if she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine. (full quote)
  1: Was anyone else listening to that, i thought it reaked 2: No amber, i believe that was your designer imposter perfume 1: Mr Hall, How am i suppose to answer that? The topic is haiti and she's talking about some little party 2: It was his 50th birthday! 1: whatever, if she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine. (full quote)
  haha you're funny (full quote)
  -My plastic surgeon told me not to participate in any activities where balls fly at my face. -Well there goes your social life (full quote)
  Oh my god, I love Josh! (full quote)
  So have ever done it in water? (full quote)
  So have ever done it in water? (full quote)
  1)Does this thing work? 2)what? Oh, yeah. (full quote)
  you think thats all i do, im just a ditz with a credit card (full quote)
  1)Lucy you know i don't speak mexican 2) I not a Mexican! 1) great what was that all about? 3) Lucy's from El salvador. 1) yeah like that matters 3) its an entirley diffrent country 1) so 3) you get mad if somone thinks you live below sunset! (full quote)
  1) If anything happens to my daugther I have a 45 and shovel, I doubt anybody will miss you. 2) Hey the protective vibe I dig. 1) whats with you kid? you think the death of sammy davis left an opening in the rat pack? (full quote)
  Hey James Bond, In America we drive on the right side (full quote)
  rollin with the homies (full quote)
  well...if u asked me..i think it stunk! (Cher) i believe that was ur designer imposter perfume! (full quote)
  Cher: Well...you can guess what happened next.As if!...I'm only sixteen.This is California not Kentucky. (full quote)
  Mel: Hey You!If anything happens to my daughter, I've got a .45 and a shovel.I doubt anyone will miss you. (full quote)
  Mel: And remember, two permits do not equal a liscense. (full quote)
  Hey Duchess You Rationed this weekend, Like Saturday...i'm new but i thought mabye you had an in on the heavy clambakes (full quote)
  Im rolling with my homies (full quote)
  He does dress better than me, what would I bring to the relationship. (full quote)
  i don't know why dione is going out with a highschool boy there like dogs you have to train and bath them their just like these nervous creatures who jump and slobber over you a boy walks up and hugs cher cher pushes him off and quotes god get off of me oh as if!!!!! (full quote)
10929 Duh. It's like a famous quote. (full quote)
10929 what's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack? (full quote)
10929 what's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack? (full quote)
10929 Someone Mel Gibson never played. (full quote)
10929 Just a girl. (full quote)
10929 Gone like a Chevy Chase movie after opening weekend. (full quote)
24986 1)You drink? 2) No thanks, I'm cool. 1) I'm not offering. You think I offer alcohol to underage kids taking my daughter out? (full quote)
40504 lets blow sixth and go catch the next christian slater (full quote)
40770 OOOO Snicker! (full quote)
41160 1)You're just a virgin who can't drive. 2) That was totally harsh Ti (full quote)
45732 1) You like billie Holiday? 2) I love him! (full quote)
46238 Let's do a lap before we commit to a location! (full quote)
Kris44 Oh! Should I leave a note? (full quote)
pasolinifan75 I'm having a Twin Peaks experience (full quote)
pasolinifan75 (1) you guys talk like grown ups. (2) this is a really good school. (full quote)
48652 Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value. (full quote)
48652 Someone Mel Gibson never played. (full quote)
48652 Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees. (full quote)
48652 Okay, okay, so he is kind of a Baldwin. (full quote)
48652 I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'. (full quote)
48652 AS IF. I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky. (full quote)
miannone So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so. (full quote)
miannone Murray: Woman, why you didn't answer any of my pages? Dionne: I hate it when you call me woman. Murray: I'm sorry, MISS DIONNE. Where you been all weekend? You been Jeepin' behind my back? Dionne: Jeepin'? JEEPIN'? No. But speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you could explain how this Kmart hair extension ended up in the back of your car. (full quote)
Christianners Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972. (full quote)
Christianners That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential. (full quote)
Christianners Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl. (full quote)
Christianners I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of licorice. (full quote)
Christianners Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials. (full quote)
Christianners Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you. (full quote)
caquinn2 Nice stems. (full quote)
caquinn2 (A) My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose. (B) There goes your social life. (full quote)
caquinn2 (A) what the hell is that? (B) A dress. (A) Says who? (B) Calvin Klein. (full quote)
moviemaster searching for a boy in high school, is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie (full quote)
annibach He does dress better thant i do, what would i bring to the relationship? (full quote)
yolandee107 Hang with us (full quote)
totallyamazing1815 actually cado thats exactly what it means!! (full quote)
daniele okay, so your probabally thinking is this a noxema commercial or what? but seriously my life is completley normal. I get up and i pick my clothes out. (full quote)
daniele Even Lucy our maid is terrified of him (full quote)
daniele do u like billy holiday response: LoVE him (full quote)
daniele you must think I'm just a ditz with a credit card (full quote)