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Cable Guy, The - 1996 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
evilroy Come back here so that I may brain thee! (full quote)
  oh my god, oh my god, my twin brothers been shot! i think it was an asian gang or something, this was this guy, he looked asian! he was speaking in another language, im pretty sure it was.....asian! (full quote)
5211 ... Can I eat your skin? (full quote)
ProKiller Jesus, where is the cable guy already? (full quote)
ProKiller Just give me one hot minute! (full quote)
ProKiller 1: Wow the old McNear place, never thought they would get the floors clean after what happened here. 2: what happened? 1: They had a lot of cats. (full quote)
ProKiller suit yourself, no sweet of my sack. (full quote)
ProKiller By the way you might want to put on a bathing suit because you'll be channel surfing in no time. (full quote)
ProKiller I'll juice you up! (full quote)
ProKiller Stevey time to leavey! (full quote)
ProKiller 1: Where excatly are we going? 2: For a little ride on the information super highway. (full quote)
ProKiller The future is now. Soon every american home will integrate their television, phone, and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louve on one channel and watch female mud wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home or play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam. There's no end to the possiblities. (full quote)
ProKiller This concludes our broadcast day. click. (full quote)
ProKiller Oh I see, were playing prision rules huh. (full quote)
ProKiller I'd strike while the iron is hot if I were you. He who hesitates, masturbates. (full quote)
ProKiller Oh, nice jump spiderman. (full quote)
ProKiller The problem with real life is that there is no danger music. (full quote)
  Get on the friggan horse man, I dont think hes kidding. (full quote)
  Dry land is not a Myth ! I've seeen it !!!! Kevin costner :Water World . I don't know what all the fuss is bout , I saw that movie six times! It Rules ! (full quote)
5352 Isn't it funny we ended up in this position ? Seriously ? (full quote)
5352 .......and if your love is truly giving , it will come back 10-fold .* That's really insightful * I know , it was Jerry Springer's final thought on friday's show (full quote)
5352 Ok I'm going , taking off . (walks on the spot getting quieter) Seeya! .........Bye ! (full quote)
5539 *where are we?*only the finest dining establishment in town!..open sesame!.......*Medevil Times? (full quote)
5352 I cannot listen to any of your instructions . FOr you are my sworn enemy . ANd are about to meet your demise . (full quote)
5352 He think's you're the cat's pajamas (full quote)
5352 1) Why are we up here ? what are you planning to do ? 2) I don't really have a plan as such . I'm pretty much going moment to moment here . (full quote)
5352 1) When am I gonna gat a brother ? You said I was going to get a little brother to play with ! 2) Yeah well that's why mommy has to go to happy hour (full quote)
5863 Hey Rick, I never made a slam dunk before, thanks for the boost. (full quote)
5863 Does this card go to your boss? NO, IT GOES TO ME. I'M A PERFECTIONITH, PERFECTTIONISSIST (full quote)
6005 Don't get burned by the molten lava (full quote)
4904 1. Center. Center! 2.Oh- um nipple?! (full quote)
4904 I don't hate you! (full quote)
5352 I've haqd a few drinks . You might want to buckle up (full quote)
  Lickeress, 2 o'clock! (full quote)
  That's gonna be a good ONE! (full quote)
  How about a tequila? (full quote)
  I just wanted to hang out. NO BIG DEAL! (full quote)
  I am the bastard son of Claire Huxtabul. (full quote)
  The password is. . . . . (full quote)
  cableGUY!!!!!! (full quote)
  1. my father was there, but he might as well have been away 2. sounds tuff. it isn't father knows best anymore. it's a kick in the face on a saturday night with a steel-toe codiac work boot,... a trip to the hospital, bloodied and bashed. reconstructive surgery....but what doesn't kill us makes up stronger, am i right? (full quote)
  1. my father was there, but he might as well have been away 2. sounds tuff. it isn't father knows best anymore. it's a kick in the face on a saturday night with a steel-toe grip codiac work boot,... a trip to the hospital, bloodied and bashed. reconstructive surgery....but what doesn't kill us makes up stronger, am i right? (full quote)
  I'm just jerkin' your chain! (full quote)
  oh i see you just want to chill out in front of the tub for a little while. YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR ME WERE YOU MOTHER. YOU EXPECTED MIKE AND CAROL BRADY TO RAISE ME. I AM THE BASTARD SON OF CLAIR HUCKSTABLE. I LearnED THE FACTS OF LIFE FROM WATCHING THE FACTS OF LIFE. (full quote)
  WELL DONT DIG TO DEEP YOU MIGHT GET BURNED BY THE MOLTEN LAVA. (full quote)
  1)the password is.....im not quite sure how to say this you know that little thing (moves finger in a flapping motion)2) NO IM NOT SAYING THAT TO MY MOTHER 1) its just skin steven. (full quote)
  The password is...nipples. (full quote)
  The password is.... (full quote)
  But but but we were eating and and i... we were talking and i made you scramby eggs! (full quote)
  My brother's a speach therapist- Sssso? (full quote)
  You mean illegal cable? Who told you that I want his name. You're offering me a bribe. what you have just done is illegal. And in this state if convicted, you could be fined up to a 5000 dollar penalty, or spend six months in a correctional faciiiiillity. (full quote)
  Well, then I guess I'm not the dirty one, JERK-OFF!!! (full quote)
  cablo gubla (full quote)
  1: The secret passwaord it ...... NIPPLE!!!!2: nipple???? center (full quote)
  I didn't do this to you, you did this to you. I can be your best friend or your worst enemy...you seem to prefer the latter. (full quote)
  free cable is the ultimate aphrodesiac (full quote)
  beep* I was in the shower thought I heard the phone ring, that ever happen to you? Give me a call we'll talk about it. (full quote)
  Steven, are you taking the pot? (full quote)
  down! down! down! red knight's goin' down! (full quote)
  if we dont fight to the death, jim, they will kill us both. (full quote)
  if we dont fight to the death, jim, they will kill us both. (full quote)
  The Password is Forskin|i cant say that to my mother| why she probably saw yours as a small child| well ewww gross stop it okay. (full quote)
  It apperes as if someone has takein the liberty of updateing your home entertianment system. (full quote)
  You'd better buckle up...I've had a few drinks. ha! I'm just jokin' with ya! (full quote)
  You don't understand Steven. Somebody has to kill the babysitter. I LOVE SIOBHAN (full quote)
  Don't dig too deep. You might get burned by the molten lava! (full quote)
  Haaaarddddd....Erection?? No but thanks for noticing (full quote)
  Its ok chip we all get a little lonely sometimes...Ya but I get really lonely I MEAN CMON LOOK AT ME!!!! (full quote)
  Would you like some jui-ce? (full quote)
  I checked her out my self last week...and Im as healthy as a horse..Not a drip.. (full quote)
  Gotta warm up dont wanna pull a hemi.... You any good? Meet me under the boards youll find out... (full quote)
  There are other little cable boys and girls out there that still have a chance! (full quote)
  Hello Steven, you look RESTED! (full quote)
kazlam 1)Can I fetch you something from the barkeep? 2)Dost thus have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate? For he has been pitched in battle for a fortnight and has a king's thirst for the frosty brew, dost thou might have for thus. 1)I'll be right back my lord. 2)My thanks to ye, fair wench. (full quote)
5352 Dos thou have among thou a mug of ale for me and me mate ? He has been pitched in battle for a fortnight and his a king's thirst for the frosty brew thus thou might have for thus (full quote)
5352 1) Could I get a knife and fork ? 2) There were no utensils in medievil times , hence there are no utensils AT medievil times . Would you like a refil on that pepsi ? 1) There were no utensils but there was pepsi ? 2) Dude , i gotta lot of tables (full quote)
5352 I forgive you , I only hope my neurologist will feel the same (full quote)
10312 Free cable is the ultimate aphrodesiac (full quote)
RiOtGiRl_713 I know, it was Jerry Springers final thought last friday. (full quote)
RiOtGiRl_713 He who hesitates, masturbates. (full quote)
RiOtGiRl_713 good morning, Mary Sunshine. And how are we today? (full quote)
10929 555-4329 (full quote)
10939 But I made you scramby eggs? (full quote)
Northboarder Silence of the lambs... (full quote)
12067 Yeah Steven, Look oooouuuuut!! (full quote)
12076 The red knight sucks the big one! your goin down red knight! down down down, red knights goin down! down down down, red knights goin down! (full quote)
12076 (with lisp) you stupid son of a bitch! (full quote)
beekers Don't worry about the tip but I've got one for you: stay away from Robin, she's taken. (full quote)
14345 Robin showed me the birthmark on her left shoulder. It's very sexy! (full quote)
14345 I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. (full quote)
14345 1)Can you hang on a second. I have call waiting. Beep. Bah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah buh nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah...ahhh... 2)Knock it off! I know it's you. 1)Beep. Sorry about that. where was I? (full quote)
14345 The password is....nipple. (full quote)
14345 The password is VAGINA! (full quote)
14345 1)The password is...I'm not quite sure how to say this. (whispering inaudibly) You know that little thing... 2)NO!!! I'm not saying that to my mother! 1)It's just skin, Steven. (full quote)
14345 Hey Steven! I'm on a pay phone! Are you there? Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up...okay. We'll I'll call you back later. (full quote)
14345 Hey, I was just blow drying my hair, thought I heard the phone rang...that ever happen to you? Anyways, call me, we'll talk about it. (full quote)
14345 Oooooooh, shit. (full quote)
14345 Tonight, let's drop the bomb on that kareokee machine. No ifs ands or buts. Well, maybe a few butts. BIG ONES!!! (full quote)
14345 1)Robyn on line 2. (picks up the phone) 2)Hey...I had fun last night. When can I get you on my couch again? 3)Well tonight's not so good. How about tomorrow?! 2)CHIP! 3)HAHAHAHAHA! I knew I'd get you on the phone that way! (full quote)
14345 I got you a big screen TV, delux kareokee machine, and a stereo system that would make George Lucas cream in his pants! (full quote)
14345 1)But I didn't recieve any stolen goods! 2)(In his thoughts) Big screen TV...TV...TV... Deluxe Kareokee machine...chine..chine... cream in his pants...ants...ants... (full quote)
14345 1)Look, I appriciate you helping me out with Robyn but you have to understand I have no room in my life for a new friend. 2)So...what are you trying to say? 1)I don't want to be your friend. (full quote)
14345 1)No, no, no! Get down from there! Uh...we'll all go out together and uh...get a Heiniken! 2)Yeah! 3)I'm not thirsty anymore. (full quote)
14345 1)You know, my brother is a speech therapist. 2)Tho? 1)Never mind. (full quote)
14345 1)Uh oh! Steven called the fuzz! Bad boys bad boys! whatcha gonna DO?! (full quote)
14756 The red knight sucks the big one!! Red knights goin' down, down , down down red knights goin' down. (full quote)
Garney Oh, so I'm the tardy one? Well maybe I shouldn't have come at all, JERKOFF! (full quote)
17075 You don't understand Steven. Somebody has to kill the babysitter. (full quote)
18385 Chip - Uh ohhh!! Thteven'th called the Fuzz! Bad boyth, bad boyth - watchya gonna doooo?! (full quote)
18385 Come back here so that i may brain thee!! (full quote)
18385 CABLUU GOOBLAAA!!! (full quote)
18385 Whoa, nice jump Spider-Man! (full quote)
18385 Whoa, nice jump Thpider-Man! (full quote)
20947 CAAAAAAABLE GUUYYYYYYY!! (full quote)
22007 Penis....peeeniiis... Vagina? YES!SHE GOT VAGINA! SHE GOT VAGINA! (full quote)
23972 I don't know, but she looks pretty available to me. I'd strike while the iron is hot. He who hesitates, masturbates, know what I'm saying? (full quote)
Marla&Tyler I cannot listen to any of your instructions, for you are my sworn enemy, and i must fight u to the death. (full quote)
toothboy12 1. I can't believe they got the floors clean after what happen here. 2. what happened? 1. They had a lot of cats... (full quote)
toothboy12 1. I want a brother. You said I was gonna get a brother to play with! 2. Thats why I'm going to happy hour. (full quote)
toothboy12 Oh my god! Someone shot my brother! I think it was like, an asian gang or something. They were speaking something weird, it was like...... asian (full quote)
  SAlT PEANUTSS SALT PEANUTSS (full quote)
  whats the deal with the chicken man...have the eggs had a chance to hatch yet??? (full quote)
  If we don't fight to the death...they will kill u both! (full quote)
  Reality's not father knows best anymore... it's a kick in the face on a saturday night with a steel-toe kodiak work boot! (full quote)
  No 'if's', 'ands', or 'buts' about it....well maybe some butts... BIG ONESSSS. (full quote)
  k (full quote)
  the password is... penis (full quote)
  Reality isnt father knows best anymore, its a kick in the face on a saturday night with a steal toe grip kodiak workboot, and a trip to the hospital bloodied and bashed...... for reconstructive surgury. But what dosent kill us makes us stronger right? (full quote)
  Dont dig to deep, you might get burned by the molten lava (full quote)
  you mean illegal cable? who told you that? what is his name? I want it. you're offering me a bribe. what you have just done is illegal, and in this state, if convicted, you could be fined up to $5,000 or spend 6 months in a correctional facillally... (full quote)
  I just wanna hang out:NO BIG DEAL! (full quote)
  EHH ER EHHH...squade 51, squade 51...man down..posible back injury (full quote)
  Well i was takin a wis thouhg u might of called. (full quote)
  Perfered costomer my ass! (full quote)
  You're sexy. what? You heard me. (full quote)
  down, down, down, Red knights going down (full quote)
  In a preparing your service I noticed you were previously wired across town at 1258 and a half Chestnut. Last week the billing was transfered to one (drill sounds) Robin Harris. Smells like heartbreak to me. (full quote)
  HEY YOU GUYS PLAY HERE TOO...WEIRD I was just out and about, thought I'd see if anybody wanted to play some round ball (full quote)
  Alright lets see what you got white shadow...I think salomis open. (full quote)
  Its like when Spak had to fight Kirk on Star Trek. best friends forced to do battel...duh duh de de de de de de de duh duh de de... (full quote)
  The arrangement of your major appliances and furniture was causing some noisy picks and humbars in your reception...i moved a few things, cleared it right out. Isnt it cool? (full quote)
  EE uuhh EEEE, squad 51 squad 51 man down, possible back injury. Dixie, were gonna need an IV in D5W with ringers lactate stats. Administer lidacane drip, prepare to defribulate...CLEAR (full quote)
  is this the jim carey movies that states the phrase Oh BIlly? (full quote)
  Smell the smelling salt! (full quote)
  No i tahght you a lesson I can be your best friend or your enemy you prfer the ladder this concloudes our brodcast today Click. (full quote)
10929 There's no such thing as free cable. (full quote)
38482 dry land is not a myth! (full quote)
40504 somebody has to kill the babysitter (full quote)
46908 She was a working girl, but she kinda liked you.... you might have been able to get a freebie! (full quote)
46908 I checked her out about a week ago...And I'm healthy as a horse......Not a drip! (full quote)
talleser OH billY!!! (full quote)
talleser uh-oh!!! STHEEVEN callED THE FUZZ!!!! (full quote)
talleser squad fifty-one, squad fifty-one, man down...possible back injury... (full quote)
talleser I still don't know your real name... (full quote)
talleser hey...am i really your buddy? yeah!...sure you are! (full quote)