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First Wives Club, The - 1996 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
4697 Don't get mad, get everything! (full quote)
4066 Oh by the way daddy, I'm a lesbian.....a big one. (full quote)
4066 1.ahh He brought her to my sons Bar Mitzvah! 2. Is she a gift? (full quote)
4066 what Morty can't you afford to buy her a whole dress? (full quote)
uglystars There she is. Princess Pelvis! (full quote)
uglystars Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud! (full quote)
uglystars Brenda, I speak, on behalf of my dearly departed brother, your father, that Morty is garbage, and that it would be an honor to take him out. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Let's examine the evidence. Look! Nothing but bottles and gallon jugs! 2. I had guests! 1. Who? Guns N Roses? (full quote)
uglystars 1. I drink because I am a sensitive and highly strung person. 2. No, that's why your co-stars drink. (full quote)
uglystars I'm very sorry I've ever met you. And I'm sorry that I allowed myself to love you for all those years. I'm sorry that I did nothing but be there for you every minute of every hour and support you in you're every MOVE. I'm sorry! (full quote)
uglystars You think that because I'm beautiful I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them! (full quote)
uglystars If only she'd called me. If only I was listed. (full quote)
uglystars If I give you any more collagen, they'll look like they were stuck in a pool drain. (full quote)
uglystars You vindictive sack of silicone! (full quote)
uglystars My, my, the bulimia has certainly paid off. (full quote)
uglystars You are married. You have a daughter. You don't need self-esteem. (full quote)
uglystars It's the 90s, plastic surgery is like good grooming. (full quote)
uglystars If I give you another face lift you are going to be able to blink your lips! (full quote)
uglystars Now, I ask you, Duarto, who's supposed to wear that? Some anorexic teenager? Some fetus? It's a conspiracy, I know it is! I've had enough. I'm leading a protest. I'm not buying another article of clothing until these designers come to their senses! (full quote)
  (1)what's her name? (2)shelly! shelly the baracota (full quote)
  why don't you go try this on in your SIZE (full quote)
7430 remember, don't get mad, get everything! (full quote)
13080 Be afraid. Be very afraid. (full quote)
13080 For now, I'll just use the F-word. Felony! (full quote)
Emania If it isn't the Vampire Lestat and Louis! (full quote)
Emania 1. (out of the corner of her mouth, whispered.) Get the fork. (slightly louder) The fork. (pause) FORK! (full quote)
27589 Don't get mad....Get everything (full quote)
  Look! You could sell your broche, your son... (full quote)
33361 why don't you try this on....in your size (full quote)
33361 1.Alright..what do you want us to do? 2. PAY (full quote)
  Thanks to Cher's pioneering efforts, you haven't reached puberty! (full quote)
The Raven My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V. He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he.. he grows a mustache, he gets an earring. I said, *Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what's next? A parrot?* And all of a sudden I'm a bid drag. I'm holding him back because I won't go roller-blading. (full quote)
The Raven Hi, I'm Phoebe. I've seen all your movies and I want to be just like you. Only, me! (full quote)
10929 Who's your friend? Some Beverly Hills science project? (full quote)
46065 Bye bye love, hello pop tarts (full quote)
46065 I am saying this to you in the true spirit of sisterhood, You are full of shit (brenda to Elise) (full quote)
46065 Doormat. Lesbian (full quote)
46065 I forbid you to let that plate leave the country........Jackie O had one just like it (full quote)
24986 (1) where were you?! (2) I was... I was at a friend's. (1) You were with that man again. Mother, I am so disappointed. (2) I'm sorry, but he is your father. (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) You don't understand. There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, district attorney, and driving Miss Daisy. (full quote)
  Who's supposed to wear that? Some anorexic teenager? Some fetus? (full quote)
  Bye bye love....hello pop-tarts. (full quote)
10929 It's the '90s, plastic surgery is like good grooming. (full quote)
10929 Wake up and smell the audit! (full quote)
24986 (1) what's the matter with you, Why are you so crabby today? Is it school? ...I know what it is. It's a boy. (2) I'm a lesbian, mom. But that's not the issue here. (1) When you say 'Lesbian'... (2) Don't tell Daddy! I want to tell him myself when the time is right. Like Father's Day. Or Christmas morning. (full quote)
24986 She gave Gil the best years of her life. Sacrificed her youth... Always put herself last to bolster his ego, his drive, his ambition. Just as her dignity hung by a thread, he ran off with a pre-schooler. (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) Annie, you have an amazing attitude. You are so cheerful. You are. You are genuinely happy. It's a beautiful thing. (ANNIE) Thank you. (ELISE) Lithium? (full quote)
24986 Shelly, look at you- The bulimia has paid off. (full quote)
24986 We're going to have dinner! Can you believe that? Oh my God! Do you know what this means? It means he's re-prioritized. He's worked through his relationship phobias - His fear of intimacy, his thing about my poisoning his food. He's ready to recommit. (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. Shelley Winters is Unique's mother. Sean Connery's Unique's mother. (BARTENDER) Perhaps some coffee now. (ELSIE) I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. He's 100 years old, but he's still a stud. (full quote)
24986 (1) Annie... I love you. Come here. (2) Yes. I love you. (1) I want a divorce. Stay calm. (2) But we just made love! (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) God, poor Cynthia. If only she had called me. If only I were listed. (full quote)
24986 (1) I gave Aaron a home and a daughter. I washed and ironed his shorts. (2) You did? (1) Well, I supervised. (full quote)
24986 (BILL) Elise, this isn't right. It's hormonal. You can't do this. (ELISE) Watch me! (BILL) But this is my stuff! (ELISE) It's the 90's, Bill. downsize! (full quote)
24986 (1) He brought her... to my son's Bar Mitzvah! (2) Is she a gift? (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) Hello? (BILL) listen to me, you piece of garbage. (ELISE) I can't hear you. (BILL) I'll sue you! I'll break you! You vindictive sack of silicone! That's my car, you piece of plastic! (full quote)
24986 (BRENDA) Jason, look. I remember how great it was when we were a family. Even though we're not together now, you still have both of us. (JASON) Yeah, you guys can't even pick out my birthday card without a lawyer. (full quote)
24986 We gotta nail Bill. We gotta... slaughter him. Right off the face of the planet! Him and that tramp. That infant! I need a drink. (full quote)
24986 I say this with love compassion and true sisterhood.... You are full of shit! (full quote)
24986 (1) I am not a drunk! (2) Really? Let's examine the evidence. Look, all bottles! And gallon jugs. (2) I had guests. (1) Who? Guns 'N' Roses? (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) You were always jealous of me 'cause I was blonde, beautiful and talented. And I could have any guy I wanted. (BRENDA) And did! Every guy! Most of the senior class and half the faculty. (ELISE) Well, it was the 70's. (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) I'm seriously thinking of taking the role of Monique's Mom. And I've been thinking about who she is. what she's about- I'm sure you're doing the same thing with Monique. (PHOEBE) Sure. I've been thinking like, streaks... just around my face. (ELISE) Oh! And what a beautiful face. Anyway, the reason I called is if we're going to work together - I think we should get to know one another. It's important. (PHOEBE) Bill is so wrong. You are not Satan. (ELISE) Oh, stop! (full quote)
24986 (ELISE) As agreed, I sold our assets to a friend of mine. Here's your half. (bill) Fifty cents? (ELISE) Considering our history together, I thought a dollar was very fair. Oh, all right! Take it all. (full quote)
Pookie Brenda: The time has come. Spill it. Those lips, what's in em. Are the wax? (full quote)
Pookie Annie: Guys look at us. Elise you are a successful actress, Brenda you have a beautiful son who loves you and I am seeing a very talented psychiatrist, now we are in our prime. (full quote)
Pookie Elise: This isn't about him. This is about my lips. Look at them. I want Tina Turner, I want Jagger. Fill em up. (full quote)
Pookie (referring to Elise) Annie: She looks wonderful. Has she had any work done? Brenda: Honey, she's a quilt. (full quote)
Pookie Annie: Elise, you're gifted,talented and successful. Brenda, you're wonderfully verbal. And I am seeing a very talented therapist. We're in our prime! (full quote)
Pookie Elise: And Monique...Monique...She is a great character. Brett: Thank you. Man what a kick. Elise Elliot, in a Brett Artounian film. Elise: So tell me, how do you see her? Brett: Well I think we'd go for...grotesque. Elise: What? Brett: Oh all the way. No makeup, overhead lighting, bring out every wrinkle, every crag. With you in the part Monique's mother won't be another Jurassic fleshbag in a wheel chair. She's epic. It's like Elise Elliot...the crypt keeper. Wow. (full quote)
rhps2000 Elise, you look great! (full quote)
rhps2000 Of course, he was still married to that dumpster woman Brenda. I said to him, "Morty, you've got to move on!" And here I am! Taste central! (full quote)
rhps2000 #1. You're Elise Elliot! #2. Yes. #1. You are so hot! #2. God bless you! #1. I knew you were gay! I told everyone! Wanna dance? (full quote)
rhps2000 #1. Come on, Elise. #2. Hey, she's staying! #1. She's with me! Come on honey, my place! #3. Oh, Brenda, you're so possessive! (full quote)
weshasawi Person 1: Aren't you frustrated? You climb, you climb, and you don't get anywhere! Person 2: Oh I love it, it burns off the booze, and I get my best ideas when I'm working out. Person 1: You get ideas? (full quote)