| Posted By | Quote |
| 3378 |
First I'm proud to sat that I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I don't swear. Oh shit, I do smoke and drink!
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| 3378 |
Chefs do that.
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| 3378 |
life is pain. Get used to it!
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| 3378 |
Intelligence community. You people are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this in my lap, and then come whining to me and say where is our funding? Well, I'll tell you where it is. Can you say health care?
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| 3378 |
It's simple. He's been licking his asshole for the last 3 straight hours. I submit to you that there's nothing there worth more than an hours attention. I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good or there to stay. Wouldn't you agree?
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| 3378 |
back when we firt met, you were all like, oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins. Now, you go into a bar, 10 minutes later sailors come running out.
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| 3378 |
1) You want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off? 2) Now you're a sharpshooter?
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| 3378 |
1) We jumped out of a building! 2) Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.
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| 3378 |
1) No, it's not a fantasy! I'm in the goddamn PTA! 2) Then quit!
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| 3378 |
1) You thinking what I'm thinking? 2) I hope not cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.
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| 3378 |
That's a duck not a dick.
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| 3378 |
Take a deep breath. We're going to do the torture thing.
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| 3378 |
No thanks. I'm saving myself til I get raped.
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| 3378 |
yes'm Miss Daisy, I be honkin'.
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| 3378 |
This ain't no ham on rye.
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| 3378 |
1) Have you always been this stupid or did you take lessons? 2) I took lessons!
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| 3378 |
Actually, I would have done it earlier, like back in '92, But I was baking. Don't ask.
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| 3378 |
You're the head of a major spy network and you have a tendancy to whine.
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| 3378 |
1) Good morning Raymond. 2) Good morning Miss Caine. 1) What have we learned about the dangers of smoking? Give it here. Thanks. Tell anyone you saw me, I'll blow your fucking head off.
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| 3378 |
1) Sir she's got the truck she's heading out of town. I'm hurt real bad. I think I'm dying. 2) Continue dying.
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| 3378 |
1) I got myself out of Beiruit once, I think I can get out of New Jersey. 2) Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population in fact.
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| 4358 |
Don't hit the cars!
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| 4358 |
Kaitlyn, come help me in the kitchen...hurry up 'cause I forget where it is. BAA!
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| 4358 |
Raymond, I catch you smoking again and they'll never find the body!
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| 4358 |
The names Charly by the way, you're gonna love me!
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| 4358 |
Not anymore...he broke out after seeing something on TV that quote unquote disturbed him...
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| 4358 |
Stop bein' a little baby and get up!
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| 4358 |
life is pain. Get used to it. See you will skate all the way to the shore Princess and you will not fall again. Am I understood?
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| 4358 |
1-For God's sake I'm not gonna hurt you! 2-It's not me I'm worried about...
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| 4358 |
I want my eye back bitch!
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| 4358 |
Yeah, don't shoot! Like she says...
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| 4358 |
Da da da da da, turning off the downstairs light...da da da da da, before I go to bed at night...
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| 4358 |
Da da da da da, putting my keys in my left pocket...da da da da da, my gun in my right...
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| 4358 |
Bah humbug. Look out the window 'n shut up!
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| 4358 |
1-what happened? 2-I saved your ass - it was great!
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| 4358 |
You're an assassin working for the United states government.
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| 4358 |
We have no choice, we need some answers or we're going to die!
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| 4358 |
Luke, she's my only daughter and I don't quite trust you yet...
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| 4358 |
what about your daughter, Cat-head...
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| 4358 |
You leave me many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you'd be missed by NASA!
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| 4358 |
10 minutes in this cold water, she'll be insane or dead...
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| 4358 |
Watch your back...I'm not done yet...
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| 4358 |
Who's Samantha?
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| 4358 |
I let you touch me cowboy...I think I need a bath...
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| 4358 |
Name's Charly, the spy...nice to meet you. Drink?
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| 4358 |
I didn't ask for the kid! Samantha had the kid! Nobody asked me!
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| 4358 |
I would've been here sooner but I was thinking up that ham on rye line!
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| 4358 |
what's so fucking important?
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| 4358 |
You're about to have 2-point-4 children. Merry Christmas.
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| 4358 |
The young one gets a doll to play with on Christmas...
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| 4358 |
They're gonna blow my head off ya know. This is the last time I'll ever be pretty...
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| 4358 |
Unfortunately Mr. Henessey, i don't know how to fake killing 4000 people, so we're just gonna hafta do it for real...
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| 4358 |
Hi Princess. Mind if I take a look at your fucking eyes?
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| 4358 |
Yeah bears. Ok. Thank you, thank you
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| 4358 |
1-Mommy are we gonna die? 2-Oh no baby, you're not gonna die, they are...
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| 4358 |
By Mitch. Thanks for coming!
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| 4358 |
Move it out...and find that bitch!
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| 4358 |
So kill 'em for me bitch, what'r you good for?
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| 4358 |
Get me to the bridge. I'm not leaving 'til that bitch is dead!
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| 4358 |
That's right! You can't kill me mother fuckers!
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| 4687 |
<1> Hide the gun in your pants.
<2> You want me to shoot my dick off??
<1> You're a sharpshooter, now?
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| 5630 |
Got me my 'ol handgun. Da da da da da. Got a rifle, too. Da da da da da. If anybody fucks with Mitch, he knows just what to do.......cuz I'm a bad motha-fucka.
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| 7815 |
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY WHEN YOU make AN ASSUMPTION,YOU make AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND UMPTION.
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| 8330 |
Die screaming mother fucker
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| 8330 |
Theres nothing down there worth more than an hours attention
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| 9751 |
Would you bring my little bitch in here
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| 9751 |
When I first met you, you were like, Oh fooey I burned the darn muffins and now you say things that would make a sailor blush
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| 10498 |
1)How many of those things do you have 2) three, one on my hip, one in my sock, and one right here next to Mr. wally
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| woody |
Are you cold? Here, turn on the heater. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise that distracts you from the cold.
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| woody |
Are you cold? Here, turn on the heater. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise that distracts you from the cold.
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| woody |
A) Lady, this is a pretty big gun.
C) This ain't no ham on rye either pal.
B) what the hell are you doing?
C) I'm saving your life. I would have been here sooner but I was thinking up that ham on rye line.
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| woody |
out of all my christmas presents, this one was by far the most recent.
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| woody |
Female - are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Male - I hope not, cause I'm thinkin' how much my balls hurt.
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1) Its the same method used for deflowering virgins...bite their ear to take away the pain. You ever try that?
2) ...Nah i prefer to sock 'em in the jaw and yell pop-goes-the-weasel!
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It's a duck, not a dick
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| 19771 |
That's not a dick. It's a duck.
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| Magpie |
When I first met you, you were like, oh fooey, I burned the darn muffins. Now you walk into a bar, and sailors come running out. what up with that?
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| skydragon |
1) How many guns do you carry? 2) Three, one shoulder, one hip, and one right here, next to Mr. Wally. On most pat downs it's never revealed, most agents are reluctant to feel up another agents groin. Got any other questions? 1) YEAH! Whats the weather like on your planet?
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| HUNG THICKLY |
A) I'll need money, lots of it. B) Oh, why didn't you say so. Hold on a second while I pull that out of my ass.
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| HUNG THICKLY |
Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three Vodka-tonics.
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| 29417 |
1: Same principle as deflowering a virgin. Guy bites her in the ear to distract from the pain. Haven't you ever tried that? 2: Naw, I usually just sock 'em in the jaw and yell 'Pop goes the weasel'.
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| 29417 |
1: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it. 2: Well, why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that out of my ass.
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1I'm not talking bout the linens 2It's moving in 1what? 2It's moving in, the songs not about bed sheets
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| 5046 |
yessum Miss Daisy, I be honking.
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| 5046 |
You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom.
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| 10929 |
Santa Claus Is back In Town.
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| 10929 |
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree.
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| 10929 |
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow.
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| 10929 |
Jingle Bells.
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| 10929 |
I'd Really Love To See You Tonight.
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Christ your early, I guess Perkins DOES want me dead, why don't your come back a little later. Hey this a gun lady! Well this aint no ham on rye! what are you doing!? I would've been here earlier, but i was thinkin up that ham on rye line... Are you really this stupid, or did you have to take lessons!?! I TOOK LESSONS!!
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Well I'm always Frank and Ernest with women. In New York Im Frank, and in Chicago Im Ernest.
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suck my dick. everyone of you bastards.
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I just sock 'em in the jaw and yell pop goes the weasel!
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| C5Vette |
Davis:Were you always this stupid or did you take lessons. Jackson: I took lessons!!
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Chef's do that
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| 44453 |
Everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption.
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| michaeljhatch |
I'm Always Frank And earnest With Woman...In Chicago I'm Frank And in Chicago I'm earnest heh heh heh
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