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Muppet Treasure Island - 1996 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  1. Take a cruise, you said. See the world, you said. Now, here we are, stuck on the front of this stupid ship. 2. Well, it could be worse. We could be stuck in the audience. (full quote)
  1. We might as well start. I'll wash. 2. I'll dry. 3. I'll break. (full quote)
  If you're gonna be the cook on this ship, Mr. Silver, I am definitely gonna need bigger pants. (full quote)
  1. We might as well start. I'll wash. 2. I'll dry. 3. I'll break. (full quote)
  If you're gonna be the cook on this ship, Mr. Silver, I am defintely going to need bigger pants. (full quote)
3225 1) Here's your bread and water 2) But I ordered the shrimp scampi! (full quote)
  WHO HIRED THIS CREW?!!! (full quote)
3419 I smell a bozo!!! (full quote)
5172 (1) your finger hired the crew? (2) No, that's silly. The man who lives in my finger hired the crew, Mr. Bimbol. (full quote)
5172 (1) It just feels so weird. (2) You mean that Mr. Aeral's dead? (1) Yeah, that and my pants are filled with starfish. (2) You and your hobbies. (full quote)
5172 Sailing for adventure on the big blue wet-thing (full quote)
6261 I should have let him live in my finger. (full quote)
  I may be mentally challENGED but I can see you're lying. (full quote)
  I think I smell something burning. (full quote)
6899 1) Ah! Dead Tom's Dead! Long John shot 'im! 2) But Dead Tom's always been dead. That's why they call him Dead Tom. 1) Oh. (full quote)
7680 O! the red hot gates of hell are creeping open! Satan i sheating his pokers for you, you blasphemas heathans! Fall down on your knees and BEG for deliverance from damnation!! (full quote)
4307 Heigh ho, and up she rises. Heigh ho, and up she rises. Heigh ho, and up she rises, early in the morning. Put him in the longboat till he's sober, put him in the longboat till he's sober, put him in the longboat till he's sober, early in the morning. (full quote)
4307 One leg, Jim. Count 'em, one. Remember what Billy Bones said. (full quote)
4307 1. Aw hell, Jim. I could never 'arm you. You're honest and brave and true. You didn't learn that from me. 2. I learned it from my friends, Mr. Silver. Now, take your oars and row away. I never want to see you again, ever. (full quote)
4307 1. Easy, Jim. 'Tis all in good fun. Pleased I am to initiate you into our enterprising, um...company, which entitles you to all the benefits thereof. 2. I don't want any benefits! 1. Say no, and I'll be forced to terminate our...relationship. 2. You're nothing but murdering pirates! 1. Pirates! Oh, Jim, if that's what you're thinking, you're dead wrong. (full quote)
4307 1. But I thought that sailors had talking parrots as pets. 2. Talking...parrots? 3. Ha, what an imagination. First pirates, now talking parrots. what's next? A singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park? Whoo-hoo! (full quote)
4307 1. easy, Jim. 'Tis all in good fun. Pleased I am to initiate you into our enterprising...um...company, which entitles you to all the benefits thereof. 2. I don't want any benefits! 1. This is a one-time special offer, Jim lad. Say no, and I'll be forced to terminate our...relationship. (full quote)
4307 1. Why are you doing this for me? 2. Because I like you, boy. I hope that you didn't think that I was lying about that. (full quote)
4307 1. what if you didn't have a compass, though? 2. Long John, please don't drop it. It was my father's. It's all I have of his, please. 1. I'm sorry, lad. I were only foolin'. How old were you when he died, then? 2. Seven. 1. I were eight when my father died at sea. First mate, he was. 2. My father was a first mate, too! (full quote)
  I hate my life. I hate your life too. If I had I life, I'd hate it. (full quote)
4307 1. It just feels so wierd. 2. You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead? 1. Yeah, that, and my pants are filled with starfish. 2. You and your hobbies! (full quote)
4307 1. where did you get that gold necklace you're wearing? The one made of Spanish doubloons (sp.?) 2. Um...shopping channel? (full quote)
4307 1. Rizzo, don't be so afraid. 2. Oh, I've gone WAY beyond afraid. Right now, I'm somewhere between bed-wetting and a near-death experience. (full quote)
10914 Capt. Bones to Gonzo: Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jim! Gonzo: I'm not Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jim! He's Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jim! Capt. Bones to Jim: Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jim! Jim: Yes captin what is it? Capt: BEWARE! Jim: of the one legged man I know Capt. aye and beware running with scisors or any other pointed object... it's all good fun till someones losses an EYE! (dies) Rizo: He died? and this is suppost to be a kids movie! (full quote)
4307 (gulp) We are standing in a room with a dead guy! (full quote)
4307 1 (Jim). Kill Captain Smollett, and you'll have to kill me. 2 (Gonzo). Kill Jim, and you'll have to kill me. 3 (Fozzie/Trelawney). Kill Gonzo, and you'll have to kill me. 4 (Rizzo). Kill Squire Trelawney and Mr. Bimbo, and you'll have to...negotiate strenuously. 5 (Piggy/Benjamina). Going somewhere, John-John? 6 (Long John Silver). Well, Master Hawkins, it seems that you and your little family has come together against me. (full quote)
4307 1. I'm Gonzo, and the guy in your chicken is Rizzo. 2. Yo! 3. And you must be Master Hawkins. 4. Yes, sir. 3. Oh, you needn't be calling a lowly ship's cook 'sir'. Long John Silver, at your 'umble service. (full quote)
  I got Cold Feet. your a frog, your supposed to have Cold Feet! (full quote)
7074 I've got Cabin Fever, It's burning in my brain, I've got Cabin Fever, It's driving me insane! Grab your partners by the ears And tie them to the wheel, Dosie-do and step on their toes And then you hear them squeal! (full quote)
7074 Mi-casa-tu-casa-su-casa!! (full quote)
7074 OK, I'm dead. (falls over sideways) (full quote)
13074 (chanting) ooga chaka ooga chaka something not right, evil things are gonna happen in the jungle tonight... (full quote)
13192 #1 when your a professional pirate.... #2 you dont have to wear a suit. (full quote)
4307 Tell the truth, lad. Do you really think that the captain and the squire are willing to share the treasure with the likes of us? Can't hear you. No? And we being the rightful owners, Flint's own crew, who shed our blood getting it here. Join us, lad. Donate your compass to the treasure hunt, and get a full share. (full quote)
4307 1. There! Captain Smollet, coming to rescue me. 2. Don't get your hopes up, laddie. I've taken the liberty of hiding a few of my best men aboard. If a second round follows, it means they've taken over the Hispanola, and I'm the new cap'n! (full quote)
  Off to Zanzibar to meet the Zanzibarbarians! (full quote)
  He died?! And this is supposed to be a kid's movie! (full quote)
  How does she do that? (full quote)
  well, he was a pirate, i was a lady... (full quote)
  jim: He's the raging volcano? Gonzo, Yeah, I bet he gets hopping mad. Get it? Hopping Mad? (full quote)
  Mr.Arrow: You there! You were in charge of railing dust! 50 lashes...and then you walk the plank. (full quote)
  We've got cabin fever!! (full quote)
  Oooh! I make cheese out of you! (full quote)
  1. He Has 1 Leg... Count Em! 2. One.... (full quote)
  They got Big Boom boom Sticks (full quote)
  Ah! A blind fiend! I believe they prefer 'visually challenged fiend'. (full quote)
  I hate my life, I hate your life too,if i had a life i hate it. (full quote)
  i might have a future with the NBA! (full quote)
  1.)It just feel's so weird! 2.) you mean that Mr. Arrow's dead? 3.) Yeah and that my pants are filled with starfish.4.) you and your hobbies! (full quote)
  1. We're gonna be rich! 2. We're gonna be dead! (full quote)
  (1): Is he bad tempered?! he's a raging volcano! He is tortured by inner demons the likes of which mere mortals cannot fathom. (2): He's got demons? cool!! (full quote)
  Benjamina Gunn: Smollett, Can Be You. Captain Smollett: Benjamina. (full quote)
  Benjamina Gunn: I Was Wearing Her White Lace Dress! The Cake Was Filled With Lemon Custard! (full quote)
  Captain Smollett: You're Captain Flint? Benjamina Gunn: Well, He Was A Pirate. I Was A Maybe. You Know The Story. Smollett? Your Really Me. Captain Smollett: This Is All My Fault. what Have My Done To You? (full quote)
  Rizzo The Rat: Was Simple One Thing. The Great Gonzo: what's That? Rizzo The Rat: The Pirates Had Jim! (full quote)
  Clueless Morgan: Here's A Recipe. From Black And Red. Samuel Arrow: I See. This Is Not Look See. (full quote)
  The Great Gonzo: My Name Is Gonzo. The Eat Chicken Was Rizzo. Rizzo The Rat: Aye. (full quote)
  I'd like to get my hands on whoever wrote this script! (full quote)
  You know, I'm begining to see a pattern in the men I date. (full quote)
3419 Gonzo: This apple has a worm in it. Rizzo: That's not a worm, that's my tail. (Gonzo sighs) what? Gonzo: It just feels so weird. Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead? Gonzo: Yeah that, and my pants are filled with starfish. Rizzo: You and your hobbies! (full quote)
4307 1. Oh, Jim. By rights, I should be locked up, too. For letting theives like them aboard this ship. It chills me to think that they almost killed your little friends looking for some dark treasure map. 2. None of this would have happened if I had given Captain Smollet the...I mean... 1. What, lad? 2. I'm not sure if I should be sharing this with you or anyone. 1. You mean, you've really got a trasure map? 2. Not anymore. Mr. Arrow took it and locked it up in the captain's cabin. You must promise to keep it a secret. 1. Oh, don't worry about that. You only told old Long John. Now, go on and do your chores. Go on. (full quote)
4307 1 (Long John Silver). Beggin' your pardon, gentlemen, but I've come with a bit of a treat for you. 'Tis my very own best brandy, laid down by the Brothers of Buckfast Abbey, Vintage 1737. To toast to a prosperous voyage. 2 (Fozzie). Oh, spiffy! 3 (Kermit). I'm sorry, Mr. Silver, but I'm not going to allow drinking on this voyage. 2 (Fozzie). Well, rules are rules. (Empties brandy glass out the window). 1 (Long John Silver). But, sir, 'tis a tradition for the officers to toast to the success of a voyage. 2 (Fozzie). Very true. 3 (Kermit). No, we must set an example for this questionable crew. There will be no consumption of alcohol of any kind. 2 (Fozzie). Oh. (Throws brandy glass out the window). 1 (Long John Silver). Sir, I can vouch for this crew myself. You can sail to heaven and back with these men. 3 (Kermit). I'm afraid I must disagree with you. (Fozzie throws more brandy out the window). 4 (Male Rat). You want to knock it off with the booze? It's peeling the paint off the shuffleboard court. 2 (Fozzie). Sorry. 4 (Male Rat). Come on, girls. We told him. 3 (Kermit). And that's that. This conversation is finished. 1 (Long John Silver). I understand, sir. Come on, Jim. Don't bother Captain. 3 (Kermit). You can go if you want to, Jim. (Gonzo and Rizzo start to follow them out. The door closes). 5 (Rizzo). Well, I guess the human beings want to hang out together. Don't want to spend time with a Rat and a-- 6 (Gonzo). Whatever. (full quote)
4307 1. The scuttle-butt among the crew is that we're sailing for buried treasure, and someone on board has a map. 'Course it's none of my concern, Jim. I'm just a ship's cook. Such matters are suited best to Captain Smollett. He runs this ship, not I. 2. Oh, Long John, you could captain this ship. 1. That I could, lad. Maybe someday I will. (They both start laughing). (full quote)
4307 You've drawn on a page from the Bible? You tore a page from the HOLY SCRIPTURES to make a pirate's death sentence? (full quote)
10929 Never trust a silver palate. (full quote)
10929 I could have been a lawyer, but I just had too much heart. (full quote)
19295 There is no treasure! It was all a clever ruse. Ha! (full quote)
19295 Jim: that's the raging volcano? Gonzo: Maybe he gets hopping mad. Get it? Hopping mad? (full quote)
19295 Miss Piggy: Going Somewhere John-John? (full quote)
19295 Jim: I look around here and i want to cry. Rizzo: Aww, me too. Jim: It feels like the world is passing me by. Gonzo: It is! Jim: And i just can't help but wonder Am i doomed to wash and dry And is it a curse i'm under Do do it 'till i die (full quote)
Genofreek Cabin fever deranged us all on board; this once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward! (full quote)
22216 (1) I hate my life. (2) I hate your life, too. (3) If I had a life, I'd hate it. (full quote)
22216 (1) I'll wash. (2) I'll dry. (3) I'll break. (full quote)
22216 (1) It's a blind fiend! (2) I believe they prefer the phase 'Visually challenged fiend'. (full quote)
22216 I may be visually challenged but I can see that you are lying! (full quote)