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Mystery Science Theater 3000 - 1996 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
3820 Wow, this must be what it's like inside a bong! WooHoo! (full quote)
3820 I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus doing something very stupid, and decided to go ahead anyway. (full quote)
5176 EXETER: The bars are magnitized CROW: And if your hands were made of metal, that would mean something. (full quote)
5221 Uh-uh! This is your dishawashing liquid - you soak in it! (full quote)
5221 Well, whaddaya know - 'breach hull, all die'. Even had it underlined. (full quote)
6217 Mike broke the Hubble! Mike broke the Hubble! (full quote)
  Well Mike, I calculated the odds of this working against the odds that I was doing something really stupid, and I went ahead anyway (full quote)
  why'd they put the toilet in the middle of the room?? (full quote)
10642 I'd like to thank me for flying Me Airways (full quote)
5221 Suddenly, I have a refreshing mint flavor! (full quote)
11868 Captains Log ... A bunch of our ship fell off and no one likes me. (full quote)
11868 Captains log ... I lost my toupee and girdle and can't leave my room. (full quote)
12459 Exeter you dog, your a liar, and i hate you (full quote)
5221 She's hard on a cocktail dress. (full quote)
19330 Ohhh this is when science didn't have to have an actual purpose! (full quote)
  Look! His legs are sticking out! (full quote)
  normal view, Normal view, Normal View, NORMAL VIEW! (full quote)
  calling Dr. Jemima. (full quote)
  Heil Hitlllleeerrrr! (full quote)
  Then I ram my ovapositer down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest. But I'm not an alien! (full quote)
22540 I claim this land for Spain! (full quote)
22540 Quick! Get the baking soda! (full quote)
22540 Yeah let's slip out under the cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county! (full quote)
22540 While in sunny California, visit the....oh (full quote)
22540 It's a long par five to the nations capital. (full quote)
22540 Self-cleaning mutant, leaves only the fresh scent of pine. (full quote)
22540 Exeter died on impact. Brak was arrained superior court county of Los Angeles. In a moment, the results of that trial... This Island Earth! (full quote)
22540 *normal view*...normal view....Normal View....NORMAL VIEWWWWWWW!!! (full quote)
22540 The secret government EGGO project... (full quote)
22540 This is a job for WEENIE MAN! Into the Weeniemobile...Weenie Man Away! (full quote)
  Put the men's room in the tower...what was I thinking? (full quote)
23736 It's the amazing technicolor cheese wedge! (full quote)
23736 Now that you've exploded, any words for our listeners? (full quote)
23736 I'm gonna curl up in his sock drawer...and sleep for days. (full quote)
23736 Captain, the Klingons have us in their tractor beam! (full quote)
23736 They worship the ever-lasting gobstopper? (full quote)
23736 Uh, your liver's beginning to stick out there. You might want to tuck it back in. (full quote)
23736 Hey, the Amazing Rando! Watch Rando the Great construct a set with his very mind! (full quote)
23736 The Jetsons 2: after the Armageddon. (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin This island earth can be yours, if the price is right! (full quote)
  Now Ex, call, I mean that. (full quote)
  It's your turn to walk the Cal. (full quote)
  RaspberryLand, for all your Raspberry needs. (full quote)
  OH. So that's what a colon looks like. (full quote)
  Yes it's the Brack show, starring me, that's Brack! It's the Brack Show and I've got a lot of gas... (full quote)
  OOOHH, shrinky dink? (full quote)
  Don't leave me with the Germans! (full quote)
  Eww! I saw Cal's pubic bone! (full quote)
  Putting the mens room in the tower what was I thinking? Sort this deliver that! I'll make them all pay! Should I tell Ruth she has an extra rib? Kal I farted! Kal: This isn't paper this is some kind of metal! Crow: No sir that's paper. I'm curl up in his sock drawer and sleep for days! There goes a stupid, stupid man! Yes, your all-mighty toliet hog. So professor you made this intirely out of bambo? (full quote)
  #1. Oh my God my waffle Oh the humanity! #2. May your forehead grow like the mighty oak. #3. This is kind of a small office....oh it the, uh, elevator. (full quote)
  Mike broke the Hubble! Mike broke the Hubble! (full quote)
  Dear God I left The Iron Pulled In (full quote)
  You know that helmet has a slimming affect on you? (full quote)
  Increase the flash gordon noise and put more science stuff around. (full quote)
  Recognise me NOW Ruth? (full quote)
  I've been waiting for this ALL day! (full quote)
  No, wait, I can't digest milk! (full quote)
  how many more look a likes can I get (full quote)
  KAL: what matter's here is... EXETER: ...who we are and why we're here. CROW: ...and why I have a picture of a Burger on the wall. (full quote)
5221 Hey, look, you can see the Cubs losing from up here! (full quote)
10929 It's Ted Kennedy in a Barney suit! (full quote)
10929 This makes 'Driving Miss Daisy' look like 'Bullitt'. (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin I want to help you! You're holding a mutant turd! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Oh sure, judge me! Just 'cause you have a skull! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Joe, I'm in one of these boxes, find me! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Servo: Hey look, there's Taurus the bull. Mike: And right underneath him the contellation feces. (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Eat my photons, small-heads! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin C'mon! Give Uncle Scrotor a hug! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Tom Servo: Oh, they're flying into a Roger Dean album cover. Crow: They're very into Yes on this planet. (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin They're flying into Tommy Chong's back yard. (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Cal, you bitch! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Sort this, deliver that...I'll make 'em all pay! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Joe, I'm in one of these boxes, find me! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin 1. Cal, not even a moth equipped with a lightning bug could fly through that! 2. Look! A moth equipped with a lightning bug! (full quote)
31681 I never met a luna I didn't like. (full quote)
31681 Don't leave me with the Germans! (full quote)
31681 Don't mention his head. (full quote)
31681 There you have it...a letteropener! (full quote)
33852 (chanting) Mike broke the Hubble! Mike broke the Hubble! (full quote)
42075 they're magnatized... And if your hands were metal, that would mean something (full quote)
42075 Try this Mau, it'll knock your socks off (full quote)
42075 So there are two woodys in this scene... (full quote)
42075 You know what my kids would say... Your not my real father. (full quote)
42075 Early LSD tests in the Air Force (full quote)
OneWingedAngel Heil Hitler! (full quote)
OneWingedAngel Oh Karl! ahem *Cal*...Oh Cal! (full quote)
OneWingedAngel Keanu Reeves in *My Own Private Airfield* (full quote)
OneWingedAngel 1: Industry and Technology! 2: See big men sticking screw drivers into things - turning them - AND ADJUSTING THEM! 1: Build your very own Atom Storage Box! 2: Bringing you state-of-the-art in soft-serve technology! 1: Removes lids off bottles and jars of all sizes - and it really, really works. (full quote)
OneWingedAngel Yeah they're going 65 so they'll be there in about 3 billION years... (full quote)
OneWingedAngel Captain's log: a bunch of our ship fell off, and, nobody likes me. (full quote)
OneWingedAngel Then I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest, but I'm not an alien! (full quote)
OneWingedAngel You're being kidnapped by The Light FM! (full quote)
OneWingedAngel 1: There's 2,486 parts. 2: *crunch*...'485 sir. (full quote)
46800 Cal, are you gonna work naked again? (full quote)
46800 Doesn't the fact that it's universal make it international? (full quote)
46800 Oh yah, these are the guys who just sit in basement rooms and figure out how to make elves disappear. (full quote)
46800 Oh, poopie! (full quote)