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Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - 1997 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
2946 Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots? (full quote)
3225 Carnies...circus folk, nomads you know, smell like cabbage...small hands (full quote)
3505 It's frickin' freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth (full quote)
4146 Thats not a woman it's a man ,man! (full quote)
4375 I want chicken, I want liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix, please deliver! (full quote)
  I'm hip, I'm with it. (full quote)
  1) Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers. 2) what? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him? 1) I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death. (full quote)
  As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free enviroment, I'll be as sound as a pound! (full quote)
4391 My God, Vanessa's got a fabulous body...and I bet she shags like minx! How do I tell them that because of the unfreezing process I have no inner monologue? I hope i didn't say that out loud just now. (full quote)
4391 Throw me a frickin' bone here! I'm the boss! Need the info! (full quote)
4391 Get away from me, you lazy-eyed psycho! (full quote)
4182 Do I make u horny, randy? Do I make u horny babey, ya?! (full quote)
4182 My God Vanessa, You are so incredibly beautiful! (full quote)
3225 Y'know I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attatched to their heads. Now evidently my cycloptic colleague here informs me that that can't be done. (full quote)
  VANESSA: Yes, that's you in a nutshell. AUSTIN: No, this is me in a nutshell. 'Oh no! I'm in a nutshell!'. (full quote)
uglystars Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich. (full quote)
uglystars Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. Powers? I designed them myself. (full quote)
uglystars Shall we shag now or shall we shag later? (full quote)
uglystars 1. Some sake, Mr. Cunningham? 2. Sake it to me baby! (full quote)
uglystars I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you. 2. what's your point, Vanessa? (full quote)
uglystars When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die! (full quote)
uglystars She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride. (full quote)
uglystars 1. That's Dr. Evil's cat! 2. How can you tell? 1. I never forget a pussy... cat. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Only sailors use condoms, baby. 2. Not in the nineties, Austin. 1. Well they should, those filthy beggars, they go from port to port. (full quote)
uglystars There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers 2. what? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him? 1. I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away! 2. No, no, no. I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying. I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. ...what? (full quote)
uglystars Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins. (full quote)
uglystars 1. I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet. 2. An evil vet? 1. No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo. 2. An evil petting zoo? 1. You always do that! (full quote)
uglystars The details of my life are quite inconsequential. (full quote)
uglystars My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. (full quote)
uglystars 1. I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me. 2. He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that. 3. No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He's quite wily like his old man. (full quote)
uglystars They're always after me lucky charms. (full quote)
uglystars Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please! (full quote)
uglystars Allow myself to introduce... myself. (full quote)
uglystars Judo chop! (full quote)
uglystars 1. Not the time to lose one's head. 2. No. 1. That's not the way to get ahead in life. 2. No. 1. It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong. 2. Hmm. 1. He'll never be the head of a major corporation. 2. Okay, that'll do. 1. Okay. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Dr. Evil... it's about the sharks. When you were frozen, they were put on the endangered species list. We tried to get some, but it would've taken months to clear up the red tape. 2. You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here! (full quote)
uglystars Au contraire baby, you can't resist me. (full quote)
  Allow myself to introduce.........myself. My name's Richie Cunningham, and this is my wife, Oprah. (full quote)
  The details of my life are quite inconsequencial... (full quote)
  You're a bit switched on, you're a bit of all right (full quote)
  Name: Austin DANGER Powers. Sex: Yes please (full quote)
  Name: Austin DANGER Powers. Sex: Yes please (full quote)
  i'm having trouble controling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE! (full quote)
  welcome to my underground lair (full quote)
  welcome to my underground lair it's been 30 years but i'm back (full quote)
  That makes me angry. When Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. When Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE! (full quote)
  I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle (full quote)
  there you are! - why hell do i know you.. - no but thats where you are, your THERE! (full quote)
  Alotta Fagina: You know, in Japan men come first and women come second. Austin: Or sometimes not at all! (laughs) (full quote)
  This is me in a nutshell: help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this? (full quote)
  1) there you are! 2) do i know you? 1) no, but you're there. that's where you are. (full quote)
uglystars That's not your mother, it's a man, baby! (full quote)
uglystars That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman! (full quote)
uglystars Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name. (full quote)
uglystars Does that make you HORNY? (full quote)
uglystars 1. I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab! 2. Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly. (full quote)
uglystars 1. In Japan, men come first and women come second. 2. Or sometimes not at all. (full quote)
uglystars Begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism! (full quote)
uglystars 1. Austin, the Cold War is over! 2. Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh? 1. Austin... we won. 2. Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism! (full quote)
uglystars I won't bite... hard. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Hey! There you are! 2. Hi... do I know you? 1. No, but that's where you are! You're there! (full quote)
uglystars 1. No, you're right to be suspicious! I shagged her! 2. what? 1. I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah! (full quote)
uglystars Finally, we come to my number two man. His name? number Two. (full quote)
uglystars Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick! (full quote)
uglystars You're switched on! You're smashing! You're shagadelic, baby! (full quote)
uglystars It's freedom, baby, yeah! (full quote)
uglystars There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster. (full quote)
uglystars 1. What exactly do you do, Mr. Number Two? 2. That's my business. Now if you'll excuse, I have to go to the little boys' room. (full quote)
uglystars Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Whoo! That is one crazy get-up, mister... Are you in the show? 2. No, actually, I'm English. 1. Oh... sorry. (full quote)
2489 Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich. (full quote)
2489 My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. (full quote)
2489 Dr. Evil... it's about the sharks. When you were frozen, they were put on the endangered species list. We tried to get some, but it would've taken months to clear up the red tape. (full quote)
2489 No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound! (full quote)
2489 Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming. (full quote)
3605 I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working. (full quote)
3605 She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride. (full quote)
3605 I never forget a pussy... cat. (full quote)
3605 They're always after me lucky charms. (full quote)
3605 Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I? (full quote)
3605 My god, Vanessa's got a fabulous body... I bet she shags like a minx. (full quote)
4066 1. It's no hassle. 2. Sh! 1. But 2. Sh! 1. I'm 2. Sh! 1. All I'm say 2. Sh!1. There gonna get a 2. SH! 1. I'm 2. Sh! 1. I'm just 2. Sh! 1. would 2. Sh...knock knock 1. Who's there? 2. Sh! 1. But 2. Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh!. Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive sh! Now I have a whole bag of SH! with your name on it. (full quote)
4904 sex- yes please! (full quote)
5033 Their always after me lucky charms. (full quote)
5033 It's a television commercail. (full quote)
5239 Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe’ with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical – summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds pretty standard, really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 an austrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles – there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum – it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it. (full quote)
5553 Ok, I get it, I have bad teeth! (full quote)
6034 Mama Cass, deceased. Ham Sandwich. (full quote)
6558 my name is allota,allotta fagina (full quote)
6890 but sadly, that plane has sailed (full quote)
7324 Is it too much to ask to have sharks with friggin laser beams? (full quote)
7371 pardon me for being rude. it was not me it was my food. it just popped up to say hello. and now its going back down below. (full quote)
7371 1) how dare u break wind before me 2) sorry baby i didnt know it was your turn (full quote)
8190 Who does number two work for?!?! (full quote)
8487 Someone is always after me lucky charms! (full quote)
8487 Let me say that i have a whole bag of 'shh' with your name on it! (full quote)
8487 Let me say that i have a whole bag of 'shh' with your name on it! (full quote)
8487 1)Did you use a ...condom? 2)No, baby! Condoms are for sailors! 1) Not in the ninties,(name)! (full quote)
8487 1) You have a lot of explaining to do! 2) You have to admit, she does look a bit mannish. 1) Damnit, man, you're talking about my mother! 2) Well, if that is a woman, it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick! (full quote)
8487 I don't bite.....hard. (full quote)
8487 1) I was at this arcade with my friend, Steve, right? And we meet up with these French dudes who start yelling at us. Steve said something back. And then one of the guys said something in like Paris-talk. And they were all 'Get out!' and we were all 'make me!'. It was cool 2) Fascinating. (full quote)
8487 1) Scott, what are your plans for this evening? 2) Uh, I was gonna stay in. There's a good porno on cable. 1) And that's how you like to live your life, is it? 2) Well, yeah. (full quote)
8487 1) Tell me about my mummy in the '60's. I'm dying to know what she was like. 2) She was ver groovy. Your dad loved her very much. If there was one other cat in this world who could love and treat her as nicely as your dad did, that was me. But unfortunately, for yours truly, that train had sailed (full quote)
8487 1) I hate you!! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!! 2) Oh, Scott, it hurts Daddy when you say that. Honestly. (full quote)
8487 1) what's the plan? 2) First, I plan to soil myself. Then, I'm going to come up with a new plan. (full quote)
8850 Show that turd who's boss! (full quote)
9393 Allow myself to introduce...myself. (full quote)
10626 A) It does have an odd shape, sir. B) what are you saying, son? A) It appears to be in the shape of a Bob's Big Boy, sir. (full quote)
11289 I used my mojo, then they used their mojos, then we got cross moj-ination and their heads started to explode, you know. (full quote)
11289 1. what's your plan ? 2. First, I plan to soil myself. (full quote)
12153 My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. (full quote)
14262 Sake to me! (full quote)
14421 Nerd Alert! (full quote)
14421 1)One Swedish made penis enlarger pump. 2)That's not mine. 1)One credit card receipt for Swedish made penis enlarger, signed by Austin Powers. 2)I'm tellin' ya baby... That's not mine. 1)One warranty card for Swedish made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers. 2)I don't even know what this is. This sorta thing ain't my bag, baby. 1)One book Swedish Made Penis Enlarger pumps, and Me. This sorta thing is my bag, baby. By Austin Powers. (full quote)
14555 First things first, wheres your shitter? (full quote)
14596 Pardon me for being rude, it was not me it was my food. It just poped up to say hello, and now its gone back down below. (full quote)
15933 It's a television commercial! With this cartoon leprechaun! And all of these children are trying to chase him..Hey leprechaun man! Leprechaun man! We want to get your lucky charms! haha! Oh, and there's all these little tiny bits of marshmallow just stuck right in the cereal so that when the kids eat them, they think, Oh this is candy! I'm having fun! (full quote)
  sea bass, killer sea bass (full quote)
  danger,powers no my middel name is danger oohh!! a inlarger thats not mine a pink slip singed by Austin Powers. (full quote)
  i won't bite-- hard! (full quote)
  yeah baby yeah! (full quote)
  SCOTT!!!! (full quote)
  you make me randy baby. (full quote)
  I'm very badly burned! (full quote)
  It's a television commercial, and the little children are chasing him screaming leprechaun man, leprechaun man we want to get your Lucky Charms. Oh and there's always little tiny marshmallows just stuck right in the cereal so that when the kids eat them they think oh this is candy i'm having fun! (full quote)
  My firend Sweet Jay took me to this new video arcade in town right and they don't speak english there so Jay got into a fight and he's all quit hassalin' me cause i don't speak French or whatever, and the guy says somethin in Paris talk and we're all SHUT UP and they're all GET OUT and we're like make ME it was cool! (full quote)
  My friend Sweet Jay took me to this new video arcade in town right and they don't speak english there so Jay got into a fight and he's all quit hassalin' me cause i don't speak French or whatever, and the guy says somethin in Paris talk and we're all SHUT UP and they're all GET OUT and we're like make ME it was cool! (full quote)
  Austin: Hey, there you are. Stranger: Well hi, do I know you? Austin: No, but thats where you are, your there. (full quote)
  i don't bite...hard (full quote)
  Send in the FemBOTS! (full quote)
  don't look at me like i'm frickin' frankenstein (full quote)
  your're the diet coke of evil, one calorie, just not enough. (full quote)
  I hate you! I wish I was never artifically created in the lab! (full quote)
  ow behave! (full quote)
  you shot me in the arm! (full quote)
  Here's the plan. We get the warhead, and we hold the world ransom for.....One MILLION DOLLARS!! (full quote)
  your forgeting Scott we're in a volcanoooo. We're surrounded by liquid hot mag-ma. (full quote)
  1) Hey there you are! 2) Do I know you? 1)No, but that's where you are you're there! (full quote)
  VANESSA: You know, a lot's changed since 1967. AUSTIN: No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners, while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound. (full quote)
  Woman: How dare you break wind before me! Man: I didn't know it was your turn baby! (full quote)
  Stage 1, laser cutting beginning...laser cutting complete. Stage 2, warm liquid goo phase beginning...warm liquid goo phase completed. Stage 3, animation beginning...animation completed. Stage 4, cleansing beginning...cleansing completed. Stage 5, evacuation beginning...evacuation com...evacuation com....com.....com..... (full quote)
  Cmon dont force it, youre gonna blow out your o-ring, drop a lung. (full quote)
  Austin- Who does number 2 work for? Tom Arnold- Thats right you tell that turd whos boss (full quote)
  Allow myself to introduce...myself (full quote)
  you shot me in the leg ..... a. hole (full quote)
  Pardon me for being rude. It was not me it was my food. It just popped up to say hello and now it's gone back-down-below. (full quote)
  AUSTIN: (holding a gun to Scott's head) It seems the tables have turned again, Dr Evil. DR EVIL: Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care. SCOTT: But, Dad, we just had a major breakthrough in group! DR EVIL: I had the group liquidated, you little shit! They were insolent! (full quote)
  SCOTT: I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab! DR EVIL: Scott, it hurts Daddy when you say that, honestly! (full quote)
  And this is how you chose to live your life? Riiight... (full quote)
  1)Look, I've got a gun in my room. Give me 5 seconds, I'll go get it, and boom! I'll blow their brains out. 2)You just don't get it do you? You really don't. (full quote)
  Scott: I wish I was never artifically created in a lab Dr. Evil:Oh Scotty it hurts daddy when you say things like that (full quote)
  Cowboy: WHOWEEEEE!!! Boy what did you eat (full quote)
  Cowboy: WHOWEEEEE!!! Boy, what did you eat!?! (full quote)
  Wait I forgot something in the lobby, i'll take the esclator, on 2nd thought why not take the stairs, why take the stairs when i got a perfectly good canoe!, wait i'll just take the elevator! (full quote)
  1) They're always trying to get me lucky charms! (laughter) Why does everyone always laugh when i say that? 2) o, it s television commercial. An the kids chase the leprichan 'we're going to get ur lucky charms!' And they put tiny bits of marshmellow in the cereal so the children think 'ooo, we're eating candy!' (full quote)
  number two, you look so youthful!! And Frow, u look so... riiight! (full quote)
  I've been frosen for 30 fricken years throw me a fricken bone (full quote)
  Ladies and Gentlemen Mr. Burt backarack. (full quote)
  Throw me a fricken' bone (full quote)
  Austin: Well, finally those capitalist Pigs will pay for their crimes, hey commrades, Eh. Basil: Austin, we won. Austin: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay Capitalism, heh, (To Girl) Hello. (To other Girl) Hello! (full quote)
  1. How dare you break wind before me. 2. Sorry baby, didn't know it was your turn. (full quote)
  One Swedish made penis enlarger. (full quote)
  There are only two things in this world that scare me: Nuclear warheads...and carnival folk (shudders) smell like cabbage. (full quote)
  She's the village bicycle, everyone's had a ride! (full quote)
  HI DO YOU HAVE THE SONG I JUST callED TO DAY I LOVE YOU IT'S FOR MY DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY YEAH WE HAVE IT (full quote)
  sherbert (full quote)
  You put the wrong EMphasis on the wrong SYLable. (full quote)
  I never forget a crow cat. (full quote)
4927 NERD ALERT!!! (full quote)
7016 She's rancid. (full quote)
8563 Yes, I'm having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!!! (full quote)
8563 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. (full quote)
8563 Why don't we go in the back and shag? (full quote)
8563 Don't get heavy, man. (full quote)
8563 Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots? (full quote)
8563 Oh, behave. (full quote)
10929 what The World Needs Now Is Love. (full quote)
10929 The Look Of Love. (full quote)
10929 These Boots Are Made For Walkin'. (full quote)
10929 Secret Agent Man. (full quote)
10929 This is my happening and it freaks me out! (full quote)
woody A) I’m going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly exotic and elaborate death. B) Why don’t you just shoot him now? I mean, I’ll go get a gun, we’ll shoot him together, it’ll be fun. Bang! Dead. Done. (full quote)
15570 I hate you. I hate you! I wish I were never artifically created in a lab! (full quote)
15570 I didn't spend 6 years at Evil Medical school to be called mister, thank you very much! (full quote)
15933 Din-din! I want chicken I want liver meow mix meow mix please deliver! (full quote)
15933 I’m having trouble controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE (full quote)
15933 Allow myself to introduce... myself. I’m Richie Cunningham and this is my wife Oprah. (full quote)
15933 You didn’t happen to see ... anything at all! (full quote)
15933 You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads. Is that too much to ask? (full quote)
15952 1) One Swedish made penis enlarger pump. 2) That's not mine. 1) One credit card receipt for Swedish made penis enlarger pump signed by Austin Powers. 2) I'm telling you baby that's not mine. 1) One warranty card for Swedish made penis enlarger pump filled out by Austin Powers. 2) I don't even know what this is. This sorta thing ain't my bag baby. 1) One book, Swedish made penis enlarger pumps and me, this sorta thing is my bag, baby, by Austin Powers. (full quote)
Ferrisb911 Allow myself to introduce...uh...myself. (full quote)
fuzybuny How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails...whores bath? Personally before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how's your father! (full quote)
MovieManiacX You didn't happen to see........anything at all? (full quote)
MovieManiacX AUSTIN[Straining]: Who...does...Number...2...work...for Who...does...Number ...2...work...for? COWBOY GUY[played by Tom Arnold]: That's right buddy, you tell that turd who's boss!! (full quote)
MovieManiacX VANESSA: Did you use protection? AUSTIN: Yes, I always carry my .9mm automatic. VANEESA: No, I mean did you use a ...condom? AUSTIN: No, baby! Condoms are for sailors! VANESSA: Not in the ninties,Austin! AUSTIN: Well they should, those filthy buggers, they go from port to port. (full quote)
Sarah ;D So my friend, Sweet Jay, took me to that new video arcarde in town, right? But they don't speak English there, so we're all, or whatever, and then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, and they're like, and we're like, make Me!> It was cool. (full quote)
Sarah ;D So my friend, Sweet Jay, took me to that new video arcarde in town, right? But they don't speak English there, so we're all, or whatever, and then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, ~Back off!~ and they're like, ~Get out!~ and we're like, ~make Me!~ It was cool. (full quote)
19662 Yeah baby, yeah! (full quote)
Rye (1) Hey there you are (2) Do I know you (1) No, but there you are (full quote)
20947 1I like animals. I was thinking I might be a vet. 2An EVIL vet?? (full quote)
20947 Austin: And what is your name? Woman: Ahlotta Fagina. Austin: what? I could've sworn you just said- Never mind (full quote)
20947 Austin: Allow myself to introduce... myself. (full quote)
20947 Throw me a frickin' bone here! (full quote)
20947 Vanessa: Wait, the Floss! Austin: All right, I get it. I have bad teeth. (full quote)
20947 1: Did you use a condom? 2: No way! only sailors use condoms! (full quote)
21424 my father was a relentlessy self-improving boulangerie owner from Belguim with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery (full quote)
sjg1983 Austin: That's Dr. Evil's cat Vanessa: How do you know? Austin: I never forget a pussy.....cat (full quote)
24366 Stage 1, laser cutting begins. laser cutting complete. Stage 2, warm liquid goo phase beginning. Warm liquid goo phase completed. Stage 3, animation beginning. Animation completed. Stage 4, cleansing beginning. Cleansing completed. Stage 5, evacuation beginning. Evacuation com....evacuation com....com.....com....com... (full quote)
24366 Danger....is my middle name. (full quote)
24366 Danger....is my middle name. (full quote)
24366 I tell you, baby....that's not mine! (full quote)
25420 1.) First, i'll use a giant -laser- to punch a hole through the protective layer around the earth, called the -ozone layer-. Once there is a hole in the -ozone layer-.... 2.) Dr. Evil, that also has already happened... 1.) Shit!.....Oh hell, let's just do what we always do - hijack a nuclear bomb and hold the world ransom, hmm, hmm? Good. (full quote)
fg4evuh! Dealer: You have four, sir. Austin: I'll stay...I...also like to live dangerously. (full quote)
29417 1: Mr Powers, you'll notice all the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads. I figure every creature deserves a warm meal. 2: Dr Evil? It's about the sharks. After you were frozen, they were put on the endangered species list. We tried to get some, but it would have taken months to clear up all the red tape. 1: You know I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads. Now, evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, remind what I pay you people for, honestly. Throw me a bone, here. What do we have? 2: Sea bass. 1: Sea bass? 2: They are...mutated sea bass! 1: Really? Are they ill-tempered? 2: Oh, absolutely! 1: Well, that's a start. (full quote)
30929 I'm gonna have a scar there, you idiot. Honestly, who throws his shoe? - You fight like a woman! (full quote)
cherjan I won't bite....hard. (full quote)
cherjan I'm going to place them in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death. (full quote)
cherjan #1: How dare you break wind before me! #2: I'm sorry, I didn't know it was your turn! (full quote)
cherjan #1: How dare you break wind before me! #2: I'm sorry, I didn't know it was your turn! (full quote)
38768 shaved scrotum (full quote)
41892 1)Hey your There! 2) Do I Know You? 1) No, But your There! (full quote)
47748 And this is my number two man... his name?... number two (full quote)
47748 SEND IN THE FEMBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
47748 Alotta... Alotta Fagina (full quote)
EricEbac24 You know, I have one simple request: AND THAT IS TO HAVE SHARKS WITH FRICKIN' LASER BEAMS ATTACHED TO THEIR HEADS! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that can't be done; ah, can anyone here remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here. What do we have? (full quote)
jarheadclapser GRRRRRR baby! (full quote)