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Men in Black - 1997 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
4066 Get the kid a weapon (full quote)
4066 1. You realize Elvis is dead. 2. No, Elvis is not dead. He just went back home. (full quote)
evilroy NYPD means I will Nock Yo Punk ass Dowm! (full quote)
4396 Don't touch the red button. (full quote)
4358 freeze!! freeze!! freeze means stop!! (full quote)
4358 It just be rainin' black people in New york (full quote)
  The dog owes my friend money (full quote)
  whatever you do, don't press the red button! (full quote)
  We've got all the technology of the world and we are driving an old Ford P.O.S. (full quote)
3225 I feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing (full quote)
3225 I need to tell you something about your skills...as of right now they mean precisely dick! (full quote)
3225 Oh and you need to get a decorator in here because...Damn! (full quote)
3225 1) If you were half the man I was 2) what you talkin' about? I AM half the man that you are (full quote)
3225 Oh, I'm sorry...was that your Auntie? (full quote)
3225 1) Have you ever flashy-thinged me? 2) No 1) I ain't playin' have you ever flashy thinged me? 2) No (full quote)
  the only difference between you and me is that I make this look good. (full quote)
  The main difference between me and you... I make this look good (full quote)
4066 It's a long trip, I am going to need a snack (full quote)
4066 1. Roaches check in (click) 2. But they don't check out (full quote)
uglystars I go out, I work my butt off to make a living, all I want is to come home to a nice clean house with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison. Don't you take that away, I'm eating that, damn it! It is poison, isn't it? I swear to God I would not be surprised if it was, the way you skulk around here like a dog that's been hit too much or ain't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind. You're useless, Beatrice! The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck! (full quote)
uglystars I want you off this rock on the next transport or I'm gonna shoot you where it don't grow back. (full quote)
uglystars I want you off this rock on the next transport or I'm gonna shoot you where it don't grow back. (full quote)
uglystars We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here. (full quote)
uglystars 1. what's with the cat? 2. Well, there's a problem with the cat. Sign here. 1. [signing] what's the problem with the cat? 2. It's your problem. (full quote)
uglystars 1. All right, Beatrice, there was no alien. The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus. 2. Wait a minute. You just flash that thing, it erases her memory, and you just make up a new one? 1. A standard issue neuralyzer. 2. And that weak-ass story's the best you can come up with? (full quote)
uglystars Gentlemen, congratulations. You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Put your projectile weapon on the ground. 2. You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands. 3. Your proposition is acceptable. (full quote)
uglystars Ever pull the wing off a fly? care to see the fly get even? (full quote)
uglystars Why don't ya go down to Bloomingdales and get some make-up, clothes, manicure, and a facial. Oh and you better hire a decorator to come in here cause, damn. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Why the big secret? People are smart, they can handle it. 2. A *person* is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Zed, don't you guys ever get any sleep around here? 2. The twins keep us on Centaurian time, standard thirty-seven hour day. Give it a few months. You'll get used to it, or you'll have a psychotic episode. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Set for pulsar level five, subsonic implosion factor two. 2. what? 1. Just shoot the damn thing! (full quote)
uglystars 1. You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicensed cephalopoid, Jeebs! 2. He looked alright to me. (full quote)
uglystars 1. There are approximately 1500 aliens in Manhattan. 2. Cab drivers? 1. Not as many as you think. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Arquillian battle rules: first we get an ultimatum, then a warning shot, then a galactic standard week to respond. 2. A galactic standard week? How long is that? 1. One hour. (full quote)
uglystars freeze means stop! (full quote)
uglystars There's only one way off this planet and that's through me! (full quote)
uglystars 1. Did you ever flashy thing me? 2. No. 1. I ain't playing, K. Did you ever flashy thing me? 2. No. (full quote)
uglystars I hate the living. (full quote)
uglystars 1. We should contact Dennis Rodman, he's from that planet. 2. Rodman? You're kidding! ...Not a very good disguise. (full quote)
  Fifteen hundred years ago everyone knew the world was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, eveyone knew the earth was flat, adn fifteen mintues ago you KNEW we were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow. (full quote)
  NYPD wich means I will NOCK YOUR PUNK ASS down (full quote)
  Dont yes sir me cause you have no idea who your messing with! (full quote)
  K: i don't suppose you know what kind of life form leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water, do you? J: oh, man, that was on final jepoardy last night; damn, alex said......... (full quote)
  He'll do it, Jeebs. I'm telling you. That man does not look stable. (full quote)
  well this guy right here, he's just workin out. and this guy, he's.. he's sneezing, got a kleenex in his hadn. and u see little Stephanie here, middle of a ghetto night. carrying a nuclear physics book around. man this girl is doing some weird shit! (full quote)
  1: Whats so funny? 2: Captain America over here...best of the best of the best...SIR!...With honours...Hes all excited and he doesnt have a clue why we're here. I just find that funny...but you're not laughing... (full quote)
  The only thing that pulls it weight around here is my g..damm truck (CRASH) HMMM figures (full quote)
  J: You know the difference between you and me? K: What? J: I make this look good. (full quote)
  1000 years ago everyone knew the earth was the centre of the universe. 500 years ago everyone knew the earth was flat, and 15 minutes ago you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what we'll know tomorrow. (full quote)
  Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue. You're no longer part of the system. You are above the system. Over it. Beyond it. You're them. You're they. We are the men in black! (full quote)
  You don't like it you can kiss my furry butt! (full quote)
  You don't like it you can kiss my furry butt! (full quote)
  j: Aww look you brought that tall guy some flowers! (full quote)
  i feel like im gonna break this damn thing! (full quote)
  Maybe the of them would have seen it if they could keep up. You know they are a little soggy around the mid section. (Will Smith) Oh if you were half the man as i am. (cop) what the hell are you talking about I am half the man you are. (Will Smith) (full quote)
  better get out my face 'fore somethin bad happens to ya.....too late (full quote)
1454 Cuz we're the best of the best of the best Sir! With honors! Captain America over here, with NO idea why we're here. He's all excited. Sorry I found that rather funny, but y'all ain't laughin. (full quote)
uglystars Raise your hands - and all of your flippers. (full quote)
uglystars These are our two Centaurian communictions board operators, Woiebgck and Bob. (full quote)
uglystars 1. You here to make fun of me too? 2. No, ma'am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we're aware of. May we come in? 1. Sure. (full quote)
uglystars It just be raining black men in New york! (full quote)
uglystars This has GOT to be a nine-point-oh on my weird-shit-o-meter. (full quote)
uglystars I've just been down the gut of an interstellar cockroach. That's one of a million memories I don't want. (full quote)
uglystars Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-assing around Manhattan in a brand-new Edgar suit. That sound like fun to you? (full quote)
uglystars 1. See ya around, Jay. 2. No, you won't. (full quote)
4066 You'll dress only in attire specially sanctioned by (name) special services. You'll conform to the identity we give you, eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. From now on you'll have no identifying marks of any kind. You'll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You're a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don't exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue. You're no longer part of the System. You're above the System. Over it. Beyond it. We're them. We're they. We are the...... (full quote)
5150a Give you ten minutes on a stair master, you tubby bastard. (full quote)
5150a Gills. They were gills. He was out of breath. (full quote)
5150a He said the world was gonna end. Did he say when? (full quote)
5150a Edgar, your skin is hanging off your bones. (full quote)
5150a 1)Oh, well, you know what they say, 'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 2)Try it. (full quote)
5150a I.N.S., division 6. (full quote)
5172 It just be raining black people in New york. (full quote)
5172 May I ask, why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die? (full quote)
5172 Human thought is so primitive, it's looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. That kind of makes you proud, doesn't it? (full quote)
5172 (1)Let's put it on. (2)Put what on? (1)The last suit you'll ever wear. (full quote)
5172 This is called a neuralyzer. It's a gift from some friends from out of town. This red eye, here, will isolate the electronic impulses in your brain, more specifically the ones for memory. (full quote)
5172 The twins keep us on Centarian time. It's a 37-hour day. Give it a few months, you'll get used to it, or you'll have a psychotic episode. (full quote)
5172 Show me your face and I'll cure all your ills. (full quote)
5172 (1)How many times have you flashy-thinged that poor woman? (2)Couple. (1)So, what you not worried about no long-term damage? (2)Little. (1)Hey, Kay, have you ever flashy-thinged me? (2)No. (1)I ain't playing with you Kay. Have you ever flashy-thinged me? (2)No. (full quote)
5172 (1)Who are you, really? (2)Really? I am just a figment of your imagination. (full quote)
5172 A person is smart; people are dumb panicky dangerous animals and you know it. (full quote)
5172 (1)When do I get my own flashy-little-memory-messier-upper-thing? (2)When you grow up. (full quote)
5172 #1.When was the last time you had a CAT scan? #2.About six months ago, it's company policy. #1.Right, you should make another appointment. (full quote)
5172 (1)So, you just flash that thing, it erases her memory, and you just make up a new one? (2)Standard issue neuralyzer. (1)And, that weak-ass story is the best you can come-up with? (full quote)
5172 (1)The way I hear it, Jeebsy, you're into something a little hotter than some stolen Rolexes. (2)Well, I'm a huge crack dealer now, but I still work here because I love the hours. (full quote)
5172 Congratulations, Reg', it's a . . . squid. (full quote)
5172 You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good. (full quote)
5172 Dr. . . . uh, whatever, come here. (full quote)
5172 I need to tell you something about your skills: as of right now, they mean precisely dick. (full quote)
5221 Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruise around in a Ford P.O.S.! (full quote)
5240 1. Place projectile weapon on the ground. 2. You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers. 1. Your proposal is accepted. (full quote)
5523 did any of that sem unusual to you (full quote)
5585 No mam', we at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we are aware of. (full quote)
5765 NYPD means I will 'K'nock Your Punk-Ass down! (full quote)
6631 Well, well, Big Bad Bug got a bit of a soft spot, huh? (full quote)
6801 The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my God damn truck. *pause* Figures... (full quote)
7598 Sorry ya'll. It was an accident. (full quote)
10471 Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we travel around in a Ford POS!?! (full quote)
10506 cghgc (full quote)
10506 [Alien rings bell a number of times.] (2)Okay, okay thank you for letting me know the bell works. what can I do for you Farmer John? (1)Ugghh, a man came in here earlier - a dead man. (2)That means wot to me. (1)I believe he had an animal with him - it was a gift I gave him - a pet cat; means worlds to me. I'd like to have it back... (2)Okay, we're gonna need identification of the cat, proof of ownership of the cat, notification of the deceased... [Man swats insect on table] (1)Don't do that. (2)Do - what... (1)DON'T DO IT! (2)Aww, man! [Takes out an insect repellent spray.] [Alien growls.] (full quote)
10506 Alien: HEEEY, this is my truck!! Man: Yeh, an' make sure ya tell 'em that down at the impound! (full quote)
10506 (1)what is it, A? (2)You get your big butt back in the house! (full quote)
10870 1) You know what they say, it's better to have loved and to have lost than to have never loved at all. 2) Try it. (full quote)
11824 (Woman) what the heck was it, Edgar? (Edgar) Sugar. (Woman) I've never seen sugar do that. (full quote)
12305 1:You do know elvis is dead right? 2:No... Elvis is NOT dead he just went home! (full quote)
12305 1) The high consulate from Solaxiant Nine wants floor seats for the Nicks-Bulls game. 2) All right lets put in a call to Dennis Rodman, he's from that planet. 1) Rodman you're kidding? 2) Nope 1) Not much of a disguise. (full quote)
12538 to prevent war the galaxy is on orions belt. (full quote)
12674 You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicenced cephalapoid! Jeebs you piece of....... (full quote)
16298 Jay: You know what the difference is between you and me. (Puts sunglasses on)I mak this look good. (full quote)
16298 Jay: You know what the difference is between you and me. (Puts sunglasses on) I make this look good. (full quote)
16298 Jay: You know what the difference is between you and me. (puts sunglasses on) I make this look good. (full quote)
17977 -after a woman gives birth to a squid- K: Did any of that seem unusual to you? (full quote)
17977 Jeebs: Do you have any idea how much that stings?! (full quote)
17977 -crunch- J: Well well. Big Bad Bug got a bit of a soft spot. Oh I'm sorry, was that your auntie? Then that means this should be your uncle over here. -crunch- J: They all look alike to me. (full quote)
20947 K: I love this gun. (full quote)
22841 [Bug in Edgar Suit in the City Morgue and has hit the bell for service several times.] Man at Morgue: Thank you, thank you. Thank you for makin' sure the bell works. (full quote)
22841 [Bug in Edgar Suit is in the City Morgue and is ringing the bell for service several times.] Man at Morgue: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for makin' sure the bell works. [He takes bell away from Edgar.] (full quote)
25420 Laurel Weaver: Look, if you guys are gonna be in here, i need to see some I.D. K: Oh, yes, would you have a look at this... J: Would you stop that!? K: What?! J: That thing is gonna give her brain cancer or some shit! K: Never heard of it before, look we need to get a containment crew in here right away. J: Never heard it before, how many times you flashy-thinged that poor woman? K: Couple J: You ever flashy-thinged me before? K: No. J: I ain't playing with you K, you ever flashy-thinged me? K: No (full quote)
  there is no ins divison 6. this is bullshit. (full quote)
  aren't they beautiful? what? the stars I never stop to look at them anymore. (full quote)
  I sure will miss the chase. No Dee you wont (full quote)
  freeze means stop (full quote)
  edwards if you were half the man I am...what are you talking about I AM half the man you are (full quote)
  give me ten minutes and I'll take you outside, give you ten minutes on the stairmaster you pudgy bastard (full quote)
  I don't suppose you know what kind of alien lifeform craves sugar water and leaves a green spectral trail (full quote)
  Zed, we got a bug (full quote)
  oh there's a problem with the cat, sign here. what the problem? now it's your problem. I hate the living (full quote)
  oh there's a problem with the cat, sign here. what the problem? now it's your problem. I hate the living (full quote)
  oh there's a problem with the cat, sign here. what the problem? now it's your problem. I hate the living (full quote)
  I was just down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach, that is just one of a million memories that I don't want. (full quote)
  He chased down a cephalopoid,that GOT to be tough enough. (full quote)
  You called down the thunder, well now you've got it! (full quote)
  yall wanna get down on this? (full quote)
  The Only difference between you and me is that I make this look good (full quote)
  K: Put the gun down shit-eater. Edgar: Listen monkey-Boy, compared to you humans, I'm on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder, so can it alright! (full quote)
  J: It's okay laurel. laurel: How is it okay?! J: I'm sayin', it's gonna be okay. Edgar: Don't count on it, meat sack! (full quote)
  You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacities to an unlicensed Cephalapoid...Jeeves!! You piece of... (full quote)
  10 minutes ago, you knew people were alone on this planet (full quote)
  #1)All right, I'm in, because there's some next-level shit going on here, and I'm with that. But before y'all beam me up, there's a few things to understand. First off, you chose me, so you recognize the skills. I don't want nobody calling me 'son' or 'kid' or 'sport'. cool? #2)Whatever you say, slick. But I need to tell you something about all your skills. As of right now... they mean precisely... dick. (full quote)
10929 Human thought is so primitive, it's looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. (full quote)
20947 You'll get used to it. Or you'll have a psychotic episode. (full quote)
22841 Jay: N.Y.P.D. means I will Nock Yo Punk-ass down! (full quote)
23438 IRS Officer: Oh Me, I would have thrown them back. (full quote)
23438 Agent K: Don't Sir me, young man, you have no idea who you're dealing with. (full quote)
23438 James Edwards: You see this? N.Y.P.D. Means I will knock your busted ass down! (full quote)
23438 James Edwards: Come on down, we'll get those eyes fixed. Don't even worry about it. (full quote)
23438 Edgar: I go out, I work my butt off to make a living, all I wan't is to come home to a nice clean house, with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison. Don't you take that away! I'm eating that damn it! It is poison, isn't it?! I swear to God, I would not be suprised if it was, the way you sculk around here like a dog who has been hit too much or hasn't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind. Your useless, Beatrice. The only thing that pulls it's weight around here is my god-damn truck! (truck explodes) (full quote)
23438 Beatrice: Edgar, what on Earth was that? Edgar: Sugar. Beatrice: I've never seen Sugar do that. (full quote)
23438 Beatrice: Ed, your skin his hanging off your bones Edgar: Oh yeah, (pulls skin back to show the outline of his skull) Is that better? (Beatrice faints) (full quote)
23438 Police Inspector: And, ah, why is it that none of the other officers saw aither of these two events? James Edwards: Well, Sir, some of the other officers are a little soggy around the midsection, I guess that's why they weren't able to keep up. Police Officer: Edwards, if you were half the man I am- James Edwards: what are you talking about, I am half the man you are. (full quote)
23438 (after getting his head blown off) Jack Jeebs: You insensitive prick! Do you have any idea how much that hurts? (full quote)
25964 That is about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter!!! (full quote)
1ajas (1)Well you know what they say, Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. (2)Try it. (full quote)
1ajas (1)Is this some kind of joke? (2)No Ma'am, we at the FBI do not have a sense of humor that we are aware of. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Edgar what in the world was that? #2- Sugar. #1- I never seen sugar do that before. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- What's so funny Edwards? #2- Your boy Captain America over here, best of the best of the best Sir!... with honors. (full quote)
Marvin Acme I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life-form... leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water? (full quote)
Marvin Acme You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity... to an unlicensed cephlapoid! (full quote)
Marvin Acme All we gotta do is get a cat. It's not really that hard. But if you go in, you'll lay your Jack Webb on her. Flash your brain ray all in her face. She'll wind up with leukemia. She's a doctor. She don't need you flashing away her med school classes. (full quote)
Marvin Acme They were a group of intergalactic refugees. Wanted Earth for an apolitical zone for creatures without a planet. Did you ever see 'Casablanca'? Same thing, except no Nazis. (full quote)
Marvin Acme You should've been here for the zeronian migration in 1968. (full quote)
Marvin Acme We're Not Hosting An Intergalactic Kegger down Here (full quote)
Marvin Acme A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it. (full quote)
Nemo freeze means stop! (full quote)
Nemo did he say anything? yeah he said the world was gonna end. did he say when? (full quote)
Nemo N.Y.P.D. Means I will kNock Your Punk-ass down (full quote)
Nemo damn that was on final jeopardy last night (full quote)
Nemo unlimited resources in the whole universe and we cruisin around in this, a ford P.O.S (full quote)
Nemo so what you just flash that thingy and it erases fer memory? (full quote)
Nemo (1)The way I hear it, Jeebsy, you're into something a little hotter than some stolen Rolexes. (2)Well, I'm a huge crack dealer now, but I still work here because I love the hours. (full quote)
Nemo 1. So, you tired of being a llama? 2. Yes-s-s-s. (full quote)
Nemo you do know that elvis is dead right? No elvis is not dead he just went home (full quote)
Nemo no ma'am we here at the FBI do not have a sense of humor that we are aware of (full quote)
Nemo don't suppose you know what kind of alien lifeform craves sugar water and leaves a green spectral trail (full quote)
Nemo did he say anything? yeah he said that the world was gonna end. did he say when? (full quote)
Nemo you mean he blinked both eyes? no I mean he blinked one set then he blinked a completely different set (full quote)
Nemo it just be raining black people in NY (full quote)
Nemo I'll see you around kid. No you wont (full quote)
Nemo I hate the living (full quote)
Nemo The dog owes my friend money (full quote)
Nemo I feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing (full quote)
Nemo As of right now those skills mean precisely dick (full quote)
Nemo oh and you need to get a decorator in here quick, cause...damn (full quote)
Nemo oh, I'm sorry ... was that your auntie? (full quote)
Nemo have you ever flashy thinged me? no. I ain't playing k, have you ever flashy thinged me? no. (full quote)
Nemo that woman is a doctor she don't need you flashing away half her med school classes (full quote)
Nemo you know the difference between you and me? I make this look good (full quote)
Nemo I'm like a princess, you don't want to eat me there will be war. good war, I can feed my children, all ten million of them (full quote)
Nemo your a great dad, but I am not going with you (full quote)
Nemo roaches check in, but they don't check out (full quote)
Nemo the only thing that pulls it's weight around here is my goddamn truck...(crash) figures (full quote)
Nemo you can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers (full quote)
Nemo sugar...give me sugar.....in water....more....more.... (full quote)
Nemo I want you off this rock on the next transport or I'm gonna shoot you where it doesn't grow back (full quote)
Nemo we're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here (full quote)
Nemo Ever pull the wing off a fly? care to see the fly get even? (full quote)
Nemo Why the big secret? People are smart, they can handle it. A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it. (full quote)
Nemo Why the big secret? People are smart, they can handle it. A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it. (full quote)
Nemo Set for pulsar level five, subsonic implosion factor two. what? Just shoot the damn thing! (full quote)
toothboy12 freeZE!!! freeze means stop! (full quote)
toothboy12 N.Y.P.D, means I will Nock Your Punk-Ass down! (full quote)
toothboy12 1)Who are you? 2)Right now, I am just a figment of your imagination (full quote)
toothboy12 Its just raining black people in Manhattan tonight (full quote)
34821 1) I don't suppose you know what kind of alien lifeform craves sugar water and leaves a green spectral trail. 2) Man that was on Final Jeopardy last night. (full quote)
34821 1) Notice anything strange? Stomach, liver, lungs..... 2) Nope, all fine. 1) Doctor, they're all missing. (full quote)
41314 Edgar,your skin is hangin'off your bones (full quote)
42999 #1)Why is it that no other officers saw either of these events? #2)Some other officers are soggy around the midsection. I guess that's why they couldn't keep up. #3)If you were half the man I am-- #2)what the hell? I am HALF the man you are. (full quote)
44957 We ain't got time for this cover up bullshit. (full quote)
44957 You going to go into town buy yourself some new dresses, get yourself a facial and hirer a decorator quick 'cause...DAMN! (full quote)
miannone James: freeze! NYPD! [criminal keeps running] James: freeZE MEANS STOP! (full quote)