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Being John Malkovich - 1999 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
469 Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy. (full quote)
5435 1: Did you just call me Lotte? 2: Do you mind? 1: No, not really. (full quote)
6814 I think, I feel, I suffer. (full quote)
3605 Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate. (full quote)
3605 Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is? (full quote)
3605 You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes! Then, after about 15 minutes, you're spit into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike! (full quote)
3605 Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover. (full quote)
3605 1) You see, Maxine, it's not just playing with dolls! 2) You're right, my darling. It's so much more. It's playing with people! (full quote)
3605 1) With all due respect, John, it's MY portal. 2) It's MY head, Schwartz! It's MY head! (full quote)
3605 I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech. (full quote)
3605 Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes? (full quote)
3605 : I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal, y'know, sort of like, it's like, like he has a vagina. It's sort of vaginal, y'know, like he has a, he has a penis AND a vagina. I mean, it's sort of like... Malkovich's... feminine side. I like that. (full quote)
3605 what happens when a man goes through his own portal? (full quote)
3605 This portal is mine and must be sealed up forever, for the love of God. (full quote)
3605 I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should ever see. (full quote)
9011 Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you with total lust and devotion through the same pair of eyes? No, I don't suppose you would.. Quite a thrill, Craigy (full quote)
  hot lesbian witches, think of it man, it's fucking genius! (full quote)
  So tell me somwthing about yourself... Well, I'm a puppeter... CHECK! (full quote)
3605 Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man! (full quote)
3605 She has her doctorate in speech impedimentology from Case Western. (full quote)
3605 Meet you in Malkovich in an hour. (full quote)
3605 1) Can I buy you a drink, Maxine? 2) Are you married? 1) Yes, but enough about me. (full quote)
3605 1) Which of these two letters comes first, this one or this one? 2) Um, the symbol on the right is not a letter, sir? 1) Damn, you're good! (full quote)
3605 You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. (full quote)
11735 LITTLE JOHNNY MALKOPEE!! (full quote)
12854 It's my head Schwartz! It's my head! (full quote)
  Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich...Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich Malcokich Malkovich Malkovich (full quote)
  Hey Malkovich, think fast! (full quote)
16093 Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes? (full quote)
23319 You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. (full quote)
7016 Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintery economic climate. (full quote)
8563 You don't know how lucky you are, being a monkey. (full quote)
8563 I've always wondered what it would be like to have a penis. Now I'll know. (full quote)
27458 what happens when a man goes through his own portal? (full quote)
8563 If you ever got me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me. (full quote)
8563 I'll meet you on the side of the road, by the New Jersey turnpike. (full quote)
droshky Girl:Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Waiter: Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich ? Girl:Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Waiter: Malkovich Malkovich. (Turning to Malkovich) Malkovich ? Malkovich: Malkovich ! (full quote)
droshky Craig Schwartz: My name is Craig Schwartz and I have an interview with Dr. Lester. Floris: Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez. Craig Schwartz: My name is Schwartz. Floris: My name is warts? I'm sorry. I have no time for piddling suggestions from mumbling job applicants. (full quote)
droshky Craig Schwartz: My name is Craig Schwartz and I have an interview with Dr. Lester. Floris: Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez. Craig Schwartz: My name is Schwartz. Floris: My name is warts? I'm sorry. I have no time for piddling suggestions from mumbling job applicants. (full quote)
droshky Maxine: Who the fuck is John Malkovich? Craig: He's an actor. One of the great American actors of the 20th century. Maxine: What's he been in? Craig: Lots of things. He's very well respected. That jewel thief movie, for example. The point is that this is a very odd thing, supernatural, for lack of a better word. It raises all sorts of philosophical questions about the nature of self, about the existence of the soul. Am I me? Is Malkovich Malkovich? Was the Buddha right, is duality an illusion? Do you see what a can of worms this portal is? I don't think I can go on living my life as I have lived it. There's only one thing to do. Let's get married right away. Maxine: Is this Malkovich fellow appealing? Craig: Yes, of course! He's a celebrity! Maxine: Good. We'll sell tickets. Craig: Tickets to Malkovich? Maxine: Exactly. Two hundred dollars a pop. (full quote)
8563 I piss orange. (full quote)
8563 I'll protect you, doll face. (full quote)
10929 I think. I feel. I suffer. (full quote)
10929 Malkovich Malkovich. (full quote)
10929 Do you see what a can of worms this portal is? (full quote)
droshky Craig: If I can guess your name in three tries, you have to come have a drink with me tonight. Maxine: Why not? Craig: Okay. You look like a ... BarrrRuuu-- BellllLuuuu-- Lllll-- Carolllll-- Taaaa-Sharrr--- SusaaannnEmmmmilllly--- Marr-- laaarr-- Maax...ine--M-M-M--Maxine? Maxine: Yeah! Who told you? (full quote)
droshky I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal, y'know, sort of like, it's like, like he has a vagina. It's sort of vaginal, y'know, like he has a, he has a penis AND a vagina. I mean, it's sort of like... Malkovich's... feminine side. I like that. (full quote)
droshky Craig: You were him, weren't you? Lotte: Yeah. Craig: And he was with her! Lotte: We love her, Craig. Craig: We? Lotte: John and me. (full quote)
slothstylin The truth is for suckers, Johnny boy. (full quote)
slothstylin That's even better! Hot lesbian witches, think about it, it's fucking genius. (full quote)