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Wedding Singer, The - 1998 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
3225 1) Uh oh...you like her 2) No I don't 1) Sure you do. She's a cool chick with a hot ass 2) How's this you talk about her ass again I'll break your neck...besides she told me she likes you 1) Really? She said that? 1) NO! (full quote)
4049 You can't talk to billy Idol that way! (full quote)
4049 Once again, things that could've been BROUGHT TO MY ATtentION YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
4049 Not porno tongue. Church tongue. (full quote)
1212 Nervous breakdown, nervous breakdown! (full quote)
1212 Cookoo's nest, cookoo's nest! (full quote)
  Sir, one more outburst and I will strangle you with my microphone cord. (full quote)
5151 She's gonn get and she doesnt even know it yet. (full quote)
5238 ...and get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band & they break up. (full quote)
  Aunt Linda, you're a bitch. (full quote)
  A:He's gonna be so pissed, he won't even know flowers are gonna be at the wedding.B: Oh yeah! high Five! (full quote)
5520 Do you really want to hurt me? (full quote)
  (sings) SOMEbody KILL ME PLE-HE-HEEESE... (full quote)
4049 I have the microphone,and you don't, so YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY! (full quote)
5172 Remember that time in Puerto Rico when we picked up those two, Uh Well, I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember payin' (full quote)
5172 (1)He's a - playing the guitar now. Isn't that great. You're doing good. (2)Yeah? Sounds good? (1)Yeah. (2)That's because I'm the best guitar player in the world. Yeah! Self-taught! No lessons, thank you very much, Pop. (full quote)
5172 She's Holly Sullivan's cousin. If she's half as easy as Holly, I'll close this deal by the end of the week. (full quote)
5172 Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Missus Glenn Guglia. Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Julia Guglia. Julia Guglia. (full quote)
6034 Take off my shirt before you jinx the band and they break up. (full quote)
5671 You can't talk to billy Idol that way (full quote)
4443 (Singing) ... Need you, feed you even let you hold the remote control. (full quote)
  I hate the out seat every time the drink cart comes by it bangs me in the elbo (full quote)
6408 Thank You...you've just inspired me to hire a DJ. (full quote)
3605 All right, remember -- alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you! (full quote)
3605 Hey, psycho, it's over. Now please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up. (full quote)
  that's grade a top choice meat!!! (talking about butts in bar) (full quote)
7199 Now let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you've had too much to drink, and oooo it could be so nice growing old with you, i wanna grow old with you!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
7222 some of us will never ever find true luv take for instance me and im pretty sure that guy right there and that lady with the side burns and basically ever one else at table 9 (full quote)
6911 1) Oh, yeah...surely will... Jennifer. 2) It's 'Julia'. (full quote)
6911 You Suck! YOU SSSUUUUUUUUUUCK! (full quote)
6911 1) Glen will be a good-looking older man- like Blake Carrington. 2) I'm gonna prob'ly look like Buddy Hackett. (full quote)
7371 we're livin in a material world and i'm a material girl... or boy (full quote)
7723 They were cones!! (full quote)
5150a But the sad thing is that me, fatty, side burns lady, and the mutants at table 9, will never find a way to better the situation. (full quote)
5150a Now let's cut this stupid cake cause I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon. (full quote)
5150a Tell you what, I'll give you ten singing lessons for one business card. (full quote)
5150a Tell him, I'll give him a raise. Three meatballs a lesson. (full quote)
5150a You wanna be like Fonzie, don't ya? Yes I do. (full quote)
5150a Do you like Flock of Seagulls? I can see you do. (full quote)
5150a Robbie: Hey man. I kissed her. But it didn't mean anything. I just brought her the jacket. Glen: Kissed who? Holly: Me. Glen: Who hasn't? (full quote)
  ROBBIE:Hey,I don't know your last name. GLENN:It's Gulia. ROBBIE:Gulia!Julia's last name's gonna be Gulia!Julia Gulia!That's funny! GLENN:Why is that funny? ROBBIE:I-I don't know. (full quote)
  ROBBIE:We're living in a material world and I am a material girl.Or boy. (full quote)
  Oh, no. She made me a present. I am an assHOLE! (full quote)
  When he asked me to be the best man, I was like 'Hey man, of course' because he's always been there for me. Like the time I was in rehab, or when I couldn't find my car. (full quote)
  > more like your brother?? uhh Harold would never beat up his landlord! hehe>> > > > > > (full quote)
  Somebody get some pants on that kid! (full quote)
  Somebody get some pants on that kid! (full quote)
  Somebody get some pants on that kid! (full quote)
  I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad, carry you around when your arthritus is bad, all I wanna do is grow old with you. I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches, build you a fire if the furnace breaks, oh, it would be so nice growing old with you. I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold, need you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you have too much to drink. Oh I could be the man who grows old with you... I wanna grow old with you. (full quote)
  all i want is someone to hold me and tell me everythings going to be OK (full quote)
  Little news flash, Pop. Ha. Harold ain't so perfect. Remember when we were in Puerto Rico and we picked up those 2, uh... well, I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember paying. (full quote)
  Robbie: In 1993 I'll get about $25, so that'll be good. Glenn: heh, whoa. (full quote)
  Robbie: You see, some of us will never find true love. For example: Me...and I'm pretty sure that guy right there. (full quote)
  We're living in a material world and I am a material boy ot girl. (full quote)
  We're living in a material world and I am a material boy or girl. (full quote)
  Julia : Did I throw up on you? Holly: A little bit on my shoe, but luckily I was wearing your shoes. Julia: Good (full quote)
1212 They rip your heart out of your ass. (full quote)
1212 what you need is a prostitute. (full quote)
1212 She's a cool chick with a hot ass. (full quote)
1212 1)Do you like A Flock of Seagulls? 2)I can see YOU do. (full quote)
2686 Well thank you... you've just inspired me to hire a DJ. (full quote)
5150a She made me a present. I am an asshole! (full quote)
5150a I think, uh, Fonzie wants to be a director, and Vinnie Barbarino...the mechanical bull movie? I haven't seen it. (full quote)
5150a Alright. I haven't been in a fight since the second grade, but I beat the shit outta that kid and now I'm gonna beat the shit outta you. (full quote)
5150a See? billy Idol gets it, why doesn't she? (full quote)
5150a (referring to the Rubik's Cube) No one will ever solve that. (full quote)
5150a I know you're shy, so I'm gonna make this really easy for you. If you come upstairs, you're gonna get laid. (full quote)
5150a Say hi to your brother Tito. (full quote)
5150a He's losing his mind. And I'm reaping all the benifits. (full quote)
5150a I just want to say that when I wrote this song, I was listening to the Cure a lot. (full quote)
5150a Yeah, go have some drinks and, you know, drive home. (full quote)
5150a No, it actually felt pretty good thanks for bringing it up. You know my parents died when I was 10, you wanna talk about that? Why would I want to talk about that? I don't know. (full quote)
5150a Hey Linda! You a bitch. He might have Terrets, we're looking into it. (full quote)
5150a I woke up this morning and realized I'm about to marry a wedding singer?! (full quote)
5150a Well, I'm a big fan of money. I like it. I use it. I have some. I keep it in a jar above my refrigerator. I'd like to put some more money in that jar. That's where you come in. (full quote)
5150a It's just that, I wrote half of it while I was with Linda and the other half after we broke up. (full quote)
5150a You don't know how much I need you/While your near me, I don't feel blue/And when we kiss I know you need me too/I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true But it all was Bullshit!/It was a goddamned joke!/And when I think of you Linda/I hope you fucking choke! I hope your glad with what you've done to me/I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy/You left me here all alone tears running constantly Oh somebody kill me please!/Somebody kill me please!/I'm on my knees, pretty, pretty please/Kill me!/I want to die!/Put a bullet in my head! (full quote)
7074 1. Why would anyone want to marry me? 2. MARRY you? I was just trying to find someone to play with your dingdong. (full quote)
Shadrach Well, I have the microphone and you don't, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say! (full quote)
8128 1)Well, you've just inspired me to hire a DJ. So, thank you.2)oh. Well good luck finding a DJ who can move and shake like thissssssss. (full quote)
8290 I got a confession to make, that song was about you. (full quote)
8311 hey linda, your a bitch...ah he might have terrets syndrome were still looking in to that (full quote)
8992 I have a confession to make. That song was about you. I'm in love with you. 2).I'm so in love with you!!! (full quote)
9011 You can't drink without a fish (full quote)
9025 Well good luck finding a D.J who can move and shake like this! (full quote)
9025 i got PUNCHED in the NOSE for stickin' my face in other peoples BUISNESS! (full quote)
Splent =Uh, oh. =what? =You like her. =No, I don't! (full quote)
9090 Well good luck finding a DJ who can move and shake like THIS! (full quote)
9416 Hey somebody put some pants on that kid! (full quote)
9416 Oooh kinda like the incredible hulk huh? Yeah... only i'm not helping people Aww that's not true... because I saw you inside, you were helping people. You were giving them fish and coffee and forks... people can't eat without forks And they can't drink without a fish! Yeah... i think... wait what does that mean? (full quote)
9416 Oh! Your payment! Oh do you think I could get it to go? You're such a sweet boy, letting an old woman pay you with meatballs! Well they taste so good it's like I'm rippin you off Rosie. I don't have any clean tupperware Alright definately next time then okay? Oh don't be silly... now hold out your hands!... Now, please, take a bite, so i can watch you enjoy... that's my favorite part! That's a good meatball... that's a good meatball (full quote)
9869 Robbie: That was fun today! Wasn't that fun today?! That was fun! (full quote)
9869 Julia: I puked. I vomited in my hair. Does my hair smell bad? (full quote)
9869 Julia: I have a bad headache. A really bad headache. (full quote)
9869 Robbie: That's not selfish! There's a lot of money out there - I just want to get my hands on some of it! (full quote)
9869 Robbie: I think I'm in love with her but I gotta get that outta my head! (full quote)
9869 Julia's Mum: The Wedding Singer?!! You're thinking of leaving Geln for the WEDDING SINGER!?! (full quote)
9869 You need a prostitute! (full quote)
9869 Robbie: She just looked way too happy - I couldn't do it. (full quote)
9869 Glen: You wanna do some gambling and have some fun right away or do you just wanna get married? Julia: I just wanna get married. (full quote)
MaggieForMargaret 1: You hit two cones back there. They could've been wedding guests. 2: They were CONES! (full quote)
10741 Hey, these sheets are soft, do you use downy? (full quote)
12153 i don't know. we're livin' in a material world and i am a material girl. or boy. (full quote)
12153 no, sir, i have no experience, but i'm a big fan of money. i like it. i use it. i have a little. i keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. i'd like to put more in that jar. that's where you come in. (full quote)
12421 I just want somebody to hold me, and tell me 'everything's gonna be alright' (old guy puts his arm around him) 'Everything's gonna be alright' (full quote)
12466 Hey, Linda! You a bitch! (full quote)
12668 We better cut the cake because i know the fat guy's gonna hav a heartattack if we don't eat soon (full quote)
13252 ~Hey, do you like A Flock of Seagulls? ~No, but I can tell you do! (full quote)
14064 i just want someone to hold me and tell me everything's gonna be alright. (full quote)
14227 Hey! Why don't you write a song about this?!!! You can call it, uh...I GOT PUNCHED IN THE NOSE FOR STICKING MY FACE IN OTHER PEOPLES business!!! (full quote)
14227 You need a PROSTITUTE! (full quote)
14227 You gotta get married before your hips start spreading and you get facial hair, which, by the way, comes from your father's mother. She looks like magnum P.I. for God's sake. (full quote)
14345 I always envisioned the right one...being someone I can see myself growing old with. (full quote)
14345 1)It's called a CD player. It cost me like 700 bucks but the sound quality's outstanding! 2) You wanna play a record? 1)No, Jules, it doesn't play records, it plays CD's. It's a CD player! (full quote)
14345 All right, shithead. I haven't been in a fight since I was in the 5th grade. But I beat the shit out of that kid, so now I'm gonna beat the shit out of you! (full quote)
14345 Hey, asswipe, don't go snitching to Julia about this. I know you got some little crush on her, but you gotta face the facts, she'd rather go to bed with a REAL man, not some poor, singing orphan! (full quote)
14345 I still got the spandex, I'll put them on right now. (full quote)
14345 1) not about the wedding, about the wedding NIGHT. Will this be your first time with intercourse? 2)(shakes his head) 1)Well, don't be ashamed! You know, when I got married, I wasn't a virgin. I already had intercourse with 8 men! 2)You know that's actually something I don't wanna know about. (full quote)
14345 1)Prime rib please. 2)more prime rib! Always the prime rib! Make them eat the fish! (full quote)
14345 1)How come he's so nice to you? 2)I let him look at my boobs at the Christmas party last year. (full quote)
  Little boy: Hey Linda...you a bitch! (full quote)
  I like money..i keep it in a jar on my fridge (full quote)
  Cindy and Scott are newlyweds! WHOOPIEDEEDOO!!! (full quote)
  Glen: Hey, you can make up a song about this...you can call it uh, I Got Punched In The Nose For Sticking My Face In Other Peoples' business! Old Guy: Sounds like a country song! (full quote)
  All I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything's gonna be alright. (full quote)
  (1) Do you like Flock of Seagulls? (2) No, but I can see you do. (full quote)
  MMMMMMM...Yummy (full quote)
  (song)I want your money, that's what I want. (full quote)
  #1 I kissed her. #2 Kissed who? #1 ummm... #3 me, he kissed me! #2 Yah... who hasn't? (full quote)
  he's losing his mind and im reaping all the benifits (full quote)
  1)(after driving) so how'd i do? 2)uh i don't know... 1)what? 2)you hit 3 cones! 1)so? 2)they could have been people! they could have been guests at her wedding! 1) So what! they were CONES! (full quote)
  Excuse me sir, I have to serve the drinks (full quote)
  Sounds like a country song. (full quote)
  Yeah he said he was gonna give it to you and you wouldnt even know it (full quote)
  and it all was bbullshit. it was a goddam joke and when i think of you LINDA I HOPE YOU FUCKING CHOKE! (full quote)
  LOVE STINKS!! (full quote)
  I have a confession to make. That song was about you. I love you! (full quote)
  You dont know how much i need you. When you're near me i dont feel blue. And when we kiss i know u need me too. BUT IT ALL WAS BUULLSH**! IT WAS A GOD**** JOKE! AND WHEN I THNK OF YOU, LINDA, I HOPE YOU F***ING CHOKE! (full quote)
  He's gone crazy...............(w/ wide eyes) and I'm reaping all the benefits (full quote)
  Glen:Hey, Why don't you write a song about this? I got punched in the nose for sticking my face in other people's business. Old man: Sounds like a country song. (full quote)
  Sir, one more outburst and I will strangle you with my microphone wire! (full quote)
  Julia Sullivan (Drew Barrymore- Greatest Actress ever) Not porno tongue, Church tongue (full quote)
  Suck my grits! (full quote)
  Get out of my Van Halen T-Shirt before you jinx the band and they break up (full quote)
  This is Jimmie Moore saying that ain't no sock in my crotch. (full quote)
  Not porn tongue, church tongue. (full quote)
  Glenn: I got punched in the nose, for sticking my face in other people's business! Old Man: Sounds like a country song (full quote)
  Well good luck trying to find a DJ who can move and shake like THIS. (full quote)
  No...it felt really good..my parents died when I was 10 do you want to talk about that too? (full quote)
  Hey... have another drink and drive home. (full quote)
  {Old man} Come on let me take him like a man (full quote)
1335 He's losing his mind! And I'm reaping all the benefits! (full quote)
10929 Somebody Kill Me. (full quote)
10929 'Til There Was You. (full quote)
10929 Grow Old With You. (full quote)
10929 Holiday. (full quote)
10929 All Night Long. (full quote)
10929 That's All. (full quote)
10929 Ladies Night. (full quote)
10929 Everyday I Write The book. (full quote)
10929 Do You Believe In Love. (full quote)
10929 You make My Dreams Come True. (full quote)
11007 (1) so heres to the best man (2) THE BETTER MAN WHOOO (full quote)
11007 u suck!!!!!!!! (full quote)
11007 (1) is it true that ur having a nervous breakdown??? (2) nervous breakdown nervous breakdown (3) no (1) is it true you going to end up in a mental intstitution (2) cookoos nest cookoos nest (3) no whos been saying that (1)everybody (3) EVERYBODY, your eight years old you only know your parents (full quote)
beekers You can't expect him to live in his sister's basement -- what with all the nipple twisting that goes on there. (full quote)
13385 why dont you call it i got punched in the face for sticking my nose in other peoples business. old man: sounds like a country song (full quote)
14345 (singing)Everybody spread the word...I live in my sister's BAAAAAAAAAASEMENT!!! (full quote)
14345 1)You know something? You were right. You've always been right. 2)what've I been so right about? 1)Women! You just have fun with them. You get emotionally involved and they end up--they...and what do they do to you? 3)They'll rip your heart out of your ass! 1)That's right. (full quote)
14345 1)I went on a double date, right? And the moron she's gonna marry actually TELLS me he cheats on her. But can I tell her? No, I mean who am I to break up her marrige? (full quote)
14345 1)YOU ARE THE WORST WEDDING SINGER IN THE WORLD, BUDDY! 2)Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me? (full quote)
14345 You guys are off to a great start, don't you think? I mean Cindy showed up so right away, Scott, you gotta be pretty psyched, right? (full quote)
14345 Have a few drinks and, you know...DRIVE home! (full quote)
14345 1)That is a lucious ass right there, isn't it? Mmm, my God! 2)That's grade A top choice meat! 1)Like to bite right through that thing. ARRR! You know chew on it! (full quote)
14345 Hey you know what you must do...relax! Don't do it! (full quote)
14345 Hey, you better do something! I don't want to be known as the brother-in-law of the town nut-job! I got enough problems already! Oh, shit! I got water all over myself. (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, these sheets are soft. You use downy? 2)No. All-tempa Cheer. You can wash your clothes at any temperature and the colors don't run together. 1)Really? 2)Yeah, now leave me alone. (full quote)
14345 1)I made this for you uncle Robbie! 2)Aw, thanks, Freddy Krueger. (shows him a not nice picture) That's not nice...very creative though. (full quote)
14345 1)Glenn! Glenn, good morning! Hi, good morning! Good morning! Hello. Hi. 2)Hey, baby. Did you make breakfast in bed? 1)Um...no. (full quote)
14345 1)Sir? Is that billy Idol? 2)I believe it is. 1)OH MY GOD! (full quote)
14345 1)I puked. 2)Okay. 1)I vomited in my hair. 2)All right. 1)Does my hair smell bad? 2)No, it smells good actually. (full quote)
14345 1)I heard what happened to you at your wedding. That was so cold! You must've felt like shit! 2)No, it felt really good. Thanks for bringing it up, man. You know, my parents died when I was 10. Would you like to talk about THAT? 1)Why would we want to talk about that? 2)I don't know. (full quote)
14345 So now you're not gonna GIVE IT TO ME?! (full quote)
14345 1)We get to hang out at work so much but we hardly get to talk cuz we're always so busy. 2)Well, we should make time to talk, don't you think? (full quote)
14345 what the hell's that fruit doing here? (full quote)
14345 1)How you doing sir? Chicken or fish? 2)You better get out of my way, billy. You're going to get hurt! 3)Oh yeah?! DON'T YOU TALK TO billY IDOL THAT WAY!!! (full quote)
14345 I think we all know that when you fall in love, the emptiness sort of drifts away. That's all I'm talking about. I've done some crazy things in my life too, but then I met a very special girl, a girl who I'm actually marrying next week. So all I'm saying is that when people fall in love like you guys, the emptiness drifts away because you find something to live for: eachother. And the way I've seen you two look into eachother's eyes all day long, I can tell that you're going to live for eachother the rest of your lives. So cheers. (full quote)
14345 (singing) 1) You don't know how much I need you, while you're near me I don't feel blue and when we kiss I know you need me too, I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true...BUT IT ALL WAS BULLSHIT, IT WAS A GODDAMN JOKE, AND WHEN I THINK OF YOU, LINDA, I HOPE YOU FUCKEN CHOKE!!! I hope you're glad with what you've done to me, I lay in bed all day long feeling melencholy, you left me here all alone, tears running constantly...OH SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEASE, SOMEBODY KILL ME PLE-HESE, I'M ON MY KNEES, PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE, KILL ME!!! I WANT TO DIE!!! PUT A BULLET IN MY HEEEAAAAD!!!! 2)I liked it. (1 starts crying) 3)He's losing his mind...and I'm reaping all the benefits. [evil grin] (full quote)
14345 To the new lord of the ladies! (full quote)
14345 1)Now, who of you out there would like to dance with this fine lookin' woman? 2)I'd like to do more than dance with her! (full quote)
14345 I don't think anyone can puke more than that kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him. (full quote)
14345 1)Now, the kids have been fed, but if they want snacks, there's ice pops in the freezer or they can have microwave popcorn. 2)Good. (full quote)
14345 1)You have to go back to work. You know there's going to be over a hundred drunk girls at this wedding tonight. 2)I got nothing to offer anybody. I haven't done jack shit since high school. Why would any girl ever marry me? 1)MARRY YOU? I'm just trying to get someone to play with your ding dong. (full quote)
14345 See? billy Idol gets it, I don't know why she doesn't get it. (full quote)
14345 1)Would you like some champagne or some orange juice? 2)How much is it? 1)It's free. 2)It's what?!! Holy shit! This is incredible! (full quote)
14345 (to the mirror) It's nice to meet you...I'm Mrs. JULIA GULIA!!! (full quote)
14345 They'll rip your heart out of your ass. (full quote)
14345 1)Glenn's in junk bonds. 2)Hahaha. No, Jules, it's 'high yield bonds'. Do I tell people you're in junk waitressing? 1)Nyaaaah! (full quote)
14345 Hey you know, wedding singer...AROOOO!!! (full quote)
14345 Kay, I just wanna warn you that when I wrote this song I was listening to The Cure a lot, so... (full quote)
14345 1)Look at the girl in that picture. See that? You're a lot prettier than that girl and she's getting married. 2)what does pretty have to do with getting married? 1)Everything. (full quote)
14345 You've got what is know as the jitters. Cold feet. Everybody has them. I had them...'course I should've run screaming down the street instead of marrying your father. (full quote)
14345 1)You're going to the mental institution. 2)BEAT IT!!! (full quote)
14345 1)COME ON, ANDY, MOVE your ASS!!! 2)Hang on, huh! I'm watching Dallas! I think J.R. might be dead or something. They shot him! (full quote)
14345 1)I know you were in love and everything but that wears off. See, me and your sister, we used to be wild. And she was very adventurous...and we got into some crazy shit, but now the thrill is gone. I mean even if we do get a second alone together, we usually go to sleep. 2)Yeah. 1)I mean if it's a special occasion, she might uh...she might do this exotic dance for me. 2)WHAT?! 1)And sometimes she might uh...you know work with my nipples a little bit-- 2)ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH! Go out! I'll take care of the kids! 1)Yeah. I don't know what I just said but I said something. (full quote)
14345 1)Rosie, congratulations. I gotta go take care of something, okay? 2)I know you do. Go get her. (full quote)
14345 (singing)Wake me up before you go-go don't leave me hanging on like a solooooooooo. (full quote)
14345 1)Well, Robbie, maybe we should talk about this when you're feeling better? 2)Hey, psycho, I'm not gonna feel better about this, it's OVER! Now please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up. 1)Oh, okay, so you're still pissed about that wedding thing. (full quote)
14345 1)Can we turn this crap off, please? 2)That's right, Robbie, you gotta let it out, man. 1)Let what out? 3)Your feelings you know. About what that lousy bitch did to you today. 1)Don't call her that cuz we're going to get back together and there's going to be weirdness between you and me so just watch it. (full quote)
14345 1)Don't worry man, everything's gonna be allright. (throws the mirror) NOOOO! 2)Ohh, GAHD!! (full quote)
14345 (rapping granny)I said hip hop a hippie to the hippie to the hip hip hop and you don't stop rockin' to the bang bang boogie say up jump the boogie to the rhythm by the boogie that BEATS! (full quote)
14345 Hey, buddy, I'm not paying you to hear your thoughts on life I'm paying you to SING!!! (full quote)
14345 1)Did everybody leave? 2)Pretty much except for a few cops that are still interviewing some witnesses. (full quote)
14345 1)Okay so it was your first wedding back, of course things are gonna be a little shaky. 2)A little shaky? I hate weddings I hate the bride, I hate the groom, I want them to be miserable cuz that's what I am. (full quote)
14345 1)No, you're the BEST! 2)At what? People eat prime rib and I sing I mean it's a joke! I can't do this anymore. 1)Glenn and I set the date! So you have to play our wedding. 2)Congratulations but I just can't do it, all right? (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, you're late. 2)Sorry, I just couldn't do it. 1)Well, if you need some more time, I guess I can wait. 2)No, I don't need more time, Robbie, I NEVER want to marry you. (full quote)
14345 WOOOOHOOOO! Cindy and Scott are newlyweds...WHOOPIDIE DOO!!! (full quote)
14345 1)Oh, yeah. Living in your sister's basement with five kids while you're off every weekend doing wedding gigs at a whopping 60 bucks a pop?!! 2)Once again, things that could've been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!!! (full quote)
14345 You can't expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple twisting that goes on there. (full quote)
14345 1)Oh, my GOD! 2)what? 1)I can't BELIEVE I never noticed it before! 2)what? 1)You've got a thing for Julia! 2)Oh, no I don't! I don't. I think she's a very nice girl but she's marrying that jerk-off. (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, do you like Flock of Seagulls? 2)I can see YOU do! (full quote)
14345 1)Can I borrow your credit card? 2)You're gonna pay me back, right? 1)No. But if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna tell everyone what you said at the bar. (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, you seem kinda sad. Why don't you go out there and dance, buddy? 2)I asked that girl over there. She turned me down. She said she didn't dance with losers. 1)Ooh, man. That hurts. (full quote)
14345 1)I can learn to deal with the fact that you're just a wedding singer and not a rock star. I could even learn to deal-- 2)You can Learn TO DEAL WITH THAT? I don't want you to Learn TO DEAL WITH THAT! That's not how it works! Jeez! (full quote)
14345 Kiss my grits. (full quote)
14345 1)I can see that you're drunk and that's okay. I just wanted to tell you this. I really miss you and I wanna come back. 2)I don't wanna be alone anymore. 1)No. You're not alone anymore. Linda's back! (passes out) (full quote)
14345 1)God, I love David Bowie, he is SO sexy. 2)You think the 'time to make the doughnuts' guy is sexy. (full quote)
14345 1)I just thought that teaching was a big part of your life. 2)Well, it was but now I'm doing some stuff to better MY situation. (full quote)
14345 1)But you're above all that material bullshit. 2)I don't know. We're living in a material world and I am a material girl...or boy. (full quote)
14345 1)What about YOU? You're into material shit. 2)What do you mean? 1)What do I mean? You're marrying Glenn cuz he's got money! 2)You ASSHOLE!!! (full quote)
14345 1)So are you gonna tell Glenn? 2)About what? 1)About you and that kid and him squeezing your tush. 2)Well, he did have very strong hands for a 13 year-old. 1)I can see that! (full quote)
14345 1)Well, my mother lives 50 miles away and Holly's not into that kind of thing so, really only leaves one person... 2)George? (full quote)
14345 MAZEL TOV!!! (full quote)
14641 1)I'm a person too, Pop. Goddammit! I'm a person too! (full quote)
14641 1)Kay. The best man, everybody! 2)The best man--the BETTER man! Arrooo! (full quote)
15933 He loves her but she loves this guy right here and he loves somebody else! you just can't win! and sooo it goooes until the day you diiiieee this thing they call love is gonna make you cry.. i hate you (full quote)
16093 I let him look at my boobs at the Christmas party last year. Not my finest half hour, but it's been a pleasant working environment ever since. (full quote)
16093 Here we go. [singing] You don't know / How much I need you / While you're near me / I don't feel blue / And when we kiss / I know you need me, too / I can't believe I found a love / That's so pure and true. / But it all was bullshit / It was a goddamn joke / And when I think of you, Linda / I hope you fucking choke / I hope you're glad / With what you've done to me / I lay in bed / All day long / Feeling melancholy / You left me here / All alone / Tears running constantly / Oh, somebody kill me, please / Somebody kill me, please / I'm on my knees / Pretty, pretty please / Kill me / I want to die / Put a bullet in my head (full quote)
16093 Look, , I know... that you're shy, and I know that you've been hurt, so... I'm gonna make this really easy on you. If you come upstairs, you're gonna get laid (full quote)
17868 (Dave the best man) When my brother harold asked me to be best man at his wedding, I was like..hoho, of course man, 'cause you've always been there for me. Like when I was in rehab and like the time I couldn't find my car. Harold, y'know, he's always been like, the dependable one and I've always been the screwed up one, right Dad? 'Why can't you be more like your brother? Er, Harold would never beat up his landlord!' But ah, little news flash, Pop - Harold ain't so perfect. Remember that time in Porta Rico when we picked up those two... well I guess they were prostitutes but I don't remember payin... I'm the best guitar player in the world! YEAH! Self taught! No lessons thank you very much POP! They'll be divorced within a year! (full quote)
20947 1: Besides, she said she likes YOU. 2: REALLY? She said that? 1: NO! (full quote)
20947 Sir, one more outburst and I will strangle you with my microphone wire. (full quote)
20947 Well I have a microphone and you don't. So you will listen to EVERY DAMN THING I HAVE TO SAY!! (full quote)
20947 Sir, one more outburst I will strangle you with my microphone wire. (full quote)
22446 I wanna make you smile, whenever you're sad, Carry you around when your arthritis is bad, Oh, all I wanna do is grow old with you. I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches, Build you a fire if the furnace breaks, Oh, it could be so nice growing old with you. I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold. Need you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink, I could be the man who grows old with you, I wanna grow old with you. (full quote)
jmoneyhomeslice Alabama Slammer? Sounds like a plan. Meet me at the bar I gotta piss first. (full quote)
24986 I've been talking to my friends the last couple of days...and I figured out what's been bothering me, I'm not in love with Robby now...I'm in love with Robby six years ago. Robby Hart, the lead singer of Final Warning...when I used to come watch you..in your spandex pants...and silk shirt unbuttoned...licking the microphone like David Lee Roth... (full quote)
24986 When I got married I wasn't a virgin...I already had intercourse with 8 men! That was a lot back then...that would be like 200 today. (full quote)
24986 -Okay, let me just pick up a chick and we'll get out of here...how do you like the jacket? -I don't know..I'd lose that glove you look nuts. (full quote)
24986 You have to get back to work. You know there'll be at least a hundred drunk chicks at this wedding tonight (full quote)
24986 Say hi to your brother Tito for me! (full quote)
24986 1) Hey Glenn, I hear you're having your bachelor's party on Friday before the wedding. You gonna be okay with that? You might miss Miami Vice. 2) Nope, reruns. I'm all set. (full quote)
24986 1) I have nothing to offer to anyone. Haven't done jack shit since high school. Why would anyone wanna marry me? 2) Marry you? I'm just trying to get someone to play with your ding-dong. (full quote)
24986 I always envisioned 'the one' as somebody I see myself growing old with (full quote)
24986 1) ...and on a special ocassion she might work up with my nipples- 2) ALL RIGHT, go out I'll take care of the kids! (full quote)
24986 You have to get married before your hips start spreading and you grow facial hair, which by the way comes from your father's mother, looks like Magnum PI for god's sakes. (full quote)
24986 Holiday. Celebrate. Holidaaaay. Celibraate. (full quote)
24986 He's been wanting to get married since the 3rd grade (full quote)
24986 He just had his heart broken...why would he even think about coming back to work? (full quote)
24986 Hey Robbie, you better get back in there...they are starting to turn on George (full quote)
24986 Hey Robs.....I just got off the phone with Linda's mom....Linda is not there but....there was a note.... (full quote)
24986 It basically indicated that Linda was....not...coming today... (full quote)
24986 So it was a bad note... (full quote)
1ajas Well I have the microphone and you don't so you WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I SAY!!!!! (full quote)
1ajas He's losing his mind and I'm reaping all the benefits. (full quote)
1ajas (singing) This is ladies night, oh what a night! Shaka khan! (full quote)
27601 We live in a material world and I am a material girl, or boy whatever (full quote)
29939 When my brother, Daryl, first asked me to be his best-man at his wedding, I was like, 'of course, man' because he's always been there for me... like when I was in rehab.. and the time I couldn't find my car.. (full quote)
29939 1) Can I please get 3 prime ribs? 2) more prime rib. Always the prime rib. Make them eat the fish! (full quote)
29939 1) Are you nervous? 2) I'm actually not that nervous. I've been around weddings for a while. 1) I'm not talking about the wedding. I'm talking about the wedding night. Will this be your first time with intercourse? (full quote)
29939 1) I can't make Glenn set a date. 2) I know you're going to hate this idea but how about... a fake pregnancy? (full quote)
29939 1) I still got the spandex, I'll put them on right now. 2) The point is, this morning I woke up and I realized I'm about to marry a wedding singer?! I'm never going to leave Ridgefield! (full quote)
29939 1) I still got the spandex, I'll put them on right now. 2) The point is, this morning I woke up and I realized I'm about to marry a wedding singer?! I'm never going to leave Ridgefield! (full quote)
starduster Person 1: You want to be Fonzie, don't you? Person 2: Yes, I do. (full quote)
starduster He's losing his mind. And I'm reaping all the benefits. (full quote)
starduster He's losing his mind. And I'm reaping all the benefits. (full quote)
33333 something that coulda been brought to my attention YESTERDAY (full quote)
38446 dfsdf (full quote)
38760 (Quietly in the background someone yells) You Suck! (Even louder.._) YOU SUUUUCKKKKK!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
40905 See? billy Idol gets it, I don't know why she doesn't. (full quote)
  Aunty Linda, your a Bitch!!! (full quote)
  grow old with you (full quote)
  Well good luck finding a DJ that can move and shake...Like this! (full quote)
  It's a scone (full quote)
  And forks, you can't eat without forks (full quote)
  ...I like old coke better than new coke because it's old and so am i... (full quote)
  Alright asshole. I haven't been in a fight since the 5th grade, bu i beat the shit outta that kid, now i'm gonna beat the shit outta you. (old man sucker punches guy) (full quote)
  hookers (full quote)
4927 You've just inspired me to hire a D.J. (full quote)
29939 1) Hey Sammy, how come you're not out with your limo, what's up? 2) That new waitress, that's what's up. Is she in trouble! She's gonna get it and she doesn't even know it, and I'm gonna give it to her. (full quote)
29939 1) Well, I can't make Glenn set a date. 2) Well, you're gonna hate this idea, but I think you should consider a fake pregnancy. (full quote)
29939 1) Man, he's takin' it pretty bad. I mean, he, he's acting like a real robot. A zombie or something. 2) He's been wantin' to get married since the third grade. 3) It makes sense. That's when Mom and Dad died. He wants to start a family of his own. 4) Hey, check out the cake. There's only a little groom on top. (full quote)
29939 1) Hey, it's about time his best friend showed up. 2) So, how's he doing? 1) I don't know, man. He's been down in the basement since it happened. Five days now. I- I think he's having some kind of, uh, mental situation. You know, an episode or, or somethin'. (full quote)
29939 Cindy and Scott are newlyweds. Whoopidie do! (full quote)
29939 1) Is it true that you're in the middle of a nervous breakdown? 2) No. 3) Nervous breakdown, nervous breakdown. 2) Who said that? 1) Everybody's been saying that. 2) Everybody? You're eight years old. You only know your parents. (full quote)
29939 You don't know how much I need you. While you're near me, I don't feel blue. And when we kiss, I know you need me, too. I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true. But it all was bullshit. It was a goddamn joke. And when I think of you, Linda, I hope you fuckin' choke. (full quote)
29939 My grandmother gave me a savings bond when I was a kid. I get, uh, twenty-five dollars in nineteen ninety-three, so that'll be good. (full quote)
29939 1) That is a luscious ass right there, isn't it? Mm, my God. 2) That's grade-A top choice meat. 1) I'd like to bite through that thing, grrrr! You know, chew on it? (full quote)
29939 1)How was your bottle of rum last night? 2) I didn't vomit on you, did I? 1) A little on my shoe, but luckily, I was wearing your shoes. (full quote)
29939 1) Why do you think you'd be a good hire for this bank? 2) Well, I'm ready to work hard. And when I put my mind to something, I go all the way. I'll go all the way for you, sir. 1) Do you have any experience? 2) No, sir, I have no experience, but I'm a big fan of money. I like it. I use it. I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in. (full quote)
29939 1) Hey, Robbie, that wasn't a bad song, you know. I'm gonna tell those record company guys about you. 2) Mind if I give her a kiss first? 1) Oh, yeah, you do what you gotta do. (full quote)
47376 You know, some of us will never, ever find true love... like, take for instance... me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right over there. And the lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at Table 9. (full quote)
bigclaude Now let's cut the stupid cake because I know the fat guy is going to have a heart attack if he doesn't eat again soon. (full quote)
bigclaude Little Kid Says: Hey Linda, you a bitch. (full quote)
bigclaude Singing: But it all was bullshit. It was a God Damn joke. And when I think about you Linda. I hope you fucking choke. (full quote)
caquinn2 Hey, psycho, get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up. (full quote)
bigmomma It was a cone (full quote)
mayhem3110 You know, it's funny. Some of us will never ever find true love. Like, take, for instance, me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine. (full quote)
mayhem3110 #1: Can I borrow your credit card?... #2: You'll pay me back, right?... #1: No, but if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna tell everybody what you said at the bar. (full quote)
mmemeggie Jimmie: “He’s losing his mind…and I’m reaping all the benefits!” (full quote)
javila0212 You got punched in the face for sticking your nose in other peoples buisness.... Sounds like a country song to me. LOL!!!! (full quote)
javila0212 Hi I'm Mrs. Julia Gulia... Thanks for coming I'm Mrs. Robbie Hart (full quote)
chaparrita1121 They were cones (full quote)
chaparrita1121 Not porno tongue, church tongue (full quote)
chaparrita1121 I kissed her but it didnt mean anything, I just brought her the jacket (full quote)
benandtiff06 Once again, something that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!! (full quote)
Jade1234 You just inspired me to hire a DJ, so thank you! (full quote)