| Posted By | Quote |
| 4125 |
I don't believe I've heard that name before.
(full quote)
|
| 3225 |
1) what have you been doing? 2) Watchin television...in color! 1) In color? No kidding
(full quote)
|
| 3225 |
Hot diggity dog! Thanks for calling me on the telephone
(full quote)
|
| 3225 |
A walking penis capable of intelligent speech...A dickhead!
(full quote)
|
| 4364 |
1)where's he going? 2)to check your answer on his computer. 1)you have a computer? 2)yeah. 1) in the house? 2) no actually it's in the backyard, of course it's in the house!
(full quote)
|
| 4364 |
excuse me, but is'nt *name* just a butt with hair?
(full quote)
|
| 3378 |
1) Eve, can I skate around your block? 2) What do you say Eve, can he skate around your block? 3) No. 2) Oh, come on. Just a couple of laps. 1) It won't take long. 3) No.
(full quote)
|
| 3605 |
Oh my lucky stars! A Negro!
(full quote)
|
| 8487 |
Oh, my lucky stars! A negro!
(full quote)
|
| 8487 |
Mom, I want to meet a girl. I haven't really thought about it much. Just these past fifteen years or so.
(full quote)
|
| 8487 |
Let me guess. This is your first visit to La-La Land.
(full quote)
|
| 8487 |
1)I thought only hookers drink this stuff. 2) Well, I know Mom sure likes them.
(full quote)
|
| 8487 |
1) Bon soir, mademosielle. 2) what are you, French?
(full quote)
|
| |
1) i love sushi 2) i love lucy
(full quote)
|
| 10666 |
Want some sushi?
I love Lucy!
Oh who doesn't? She's HILARIOUS!
(full quote)
|
| 9841 |
He's a baby man.
(full quote)
|
| 8487 |
1) And we also got these! (holds up a pair of rollerblades) Can I skate around your block? 2) Yeah, Eve. Can he skate around your block? 3) No. 2) Oh, come on just a couple of laps. It won't take long.
(full quote)
|
| |
Leave my elevator alone!
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Eve: Where are you parked?
Adam: I came on a bus.
Eve: Why does that not suprise me.
Adam: Oh no, why doesn't that suprise you?
Eve: Well, I guess because I'm a little psychic. I have this thing.
Adam: Oh, that's nice.
Eve: Yeah, let me guess something. This is your first visit to Lala-land. You're staying somewhere in Hollywood because like an idiot you thought that would be an exciting place to stay. Am I right so far?
Adam: So far?
Eve: Yes, I'm right?
Adam: Right.
Eve: I knew it. Somehow you get on a bus and before you know it you're stuck in the San Fernando Valley without a clue, which brings us to here. Correct again?
Adam: Again.
Eve: Where are you staying? The Holiday Inn.
Adam: Yes! The Holiday Inn. That's exactly right.
Eve: See, I'm psychic. I mean not completely but pretty much. Pretty good, huh?
Adam: No, amazing.
Eve: Yeah I know. Thanks.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Adam: Manners are a way of showing other people we care about them.
(full quote)
|
| 1454 |
Oh my lucky stars! A Negro!
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Oh, Adam,that would be wonderful if
you could find a girl. One who's not a
mutant...and hopefully comes from
Pasadena. Nothing against valley
girls,
but in my day anyhow, the girls from
Pasadena, I don't know...always just
seemed a little nicer.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
So this is public transportation. My
Dad says that it becomes more and more
important because of pollution
which is more and more carbon dioxide
and other hazardous gases in the air.
Do you have a gun, by the way?
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
I knew this would happen! You're like
a lost puppy!
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
EVE:
food and supplies? Who for? Like
starving people?
ADAM:
Well, they're not starving yet, but
they need help.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
(1):
Well... Okay. I would like you to help
me find a...wife.
(2):
A wife?
(1):
Yes.
(2):
What for?
(1):
Because I want to get married.
(2):
Why?!
(1):
I don't want to be alone.
(2):
You can be single and not alone.
Marriage bites!
(1):
Bites what?
(2):
The big one!
(1):
It does?
(2):
Sure.
(1):
I didn't know that.
(2):
Everybody knows that. Ask my divorced
sisters. Or ask my divorced mom and
dad.
(1):
They're all divorced?
(2):
Everybody's divorced.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
(1):
what kind of wife are you looking for?
(2):
One who's not a mutant.
(1):
No dogs, huh? Okay.
(2):
And if possible, I'd like to marry
someone from Pasadena.
(1):
When do you need her by?
(2): Two weeks.
(1):
Well, I could probably get you laid in
two weeks, but to locate a non-mutant
wife from Pasadena...that could take
some
time.
(2): That's what I was afraid of.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
(1):
You have very nice ceilings.
(2): I do? Well, thank you! You like
ceilings?
(1): Not particularly.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
(1)
In the first place, I don't fall in
love with weirdos I've only known for
four or five days.
(2) Yes, you do.
(1) And I don't fall in love with grown
men who collect baseball cards!!
(2) Uh, yes, you do.
(1)
Or pee in their pants when they see
the ocean!
(2)
Yes, you do!
(1) Or have perfect table manners.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
(1)
He thinks that I am a gentleman and
that you are a lady!
(2) Well, consider the source. I don't
even know what a lady is.
(1)
Exactly! I thought a gentleman was
somebody who owned horses. Turns out,
the short and very simple definition
of a gentleman or a lady is: someone
who always attempts to make the people
around him or her feel as comfortable
as possible. That's it! If you don't
do that, nothing else matters. The
cars, the clothes, the houses...
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
(1)
I'm sorry. I took the Lord's name in
vain again, didn't I? I'm so sorry.
(2)
No! There's an Adult Bookstore back
there! I'll be right back!
(He jumps out of the truck and runs off.)
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
ADAM:
Bye, Troy!
TROY:
Bye, Adam!
ADAM:
And thanks for always being happy!
TROY:
what?
EVE:
Gay.
TROY:
Oh.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Helen:
Are you in trouble, son?!
Adam:
I think I'm being chased by a
psychiatrist.
Helen:
A psychiatrist?!
Archbishop Melker:
It happens.
Helen:
My goodness! How bad is it up there?!
Archbishop Melker:
Horrible.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Well, at least I fell for him before I
found out he was rich! That's new.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
It took a while to convince Archbishop
Milker that Adam wasn't God, and he
was pretty broken up about it
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Adam says that this is simply how
things work. First the parents take
care of the children and then the
children take care
of the parents.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Whenever Adam gives me such obviously
incorrect information, I just smile,
slap him on the knee, and look out the
window.
Why spoil his dreams? They're such
wonderful dreams.
(full quote)
|
| 12153 |
Have you ever in your life seen a son
who did more for his parents?
(full quote)
|
| 14847 |
Somebody's had teeee many Martooni's.
(full quote)
|
| |
if it helps i don't have a gun
o that makes it all better... get away from me u psycho
(full quote)
|
| 19433 |
Adam: I Think I'm being chased by a psychiatrist. Helen: A psychiatrist? Soda Jerk: It happens.
(full quote)
|
| 19715 |
Mom, Dad, I think im being chased by a psyhchiratist
(full quote)
|
| |
Ohhh, no. Rule number one in north America, no strangers in the car.
(full quote)
|
| |
ADAM: So, Eve, what did you mean when you said you could get me laid?
(full quote)
|
| 25630 |
Oh my lucky stars! A Negro!
(full quote)
|
| 25630 |
And I don't have to get physical in your spaceship?
(full quote)
|
| beekers |
LEAVE MY ELEVATOR ALONE!!
(full quote)
|
| beekers |
1)Champagne cocktails? I thought only prostitutes drank those.
2)Well, I know mom sure loves 'em.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
Don't forget: stay out of the adult bookstore.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
Round and round.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
It's a good day.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
It's been a long, long time.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
Memories are made of this.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
You belong to me.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
That old black magic.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
Surf city.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
Can't get enough of your love, babe.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
It's the end of the world as we know it.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
I will buy you a new life.
(full quote)
|
| 10929 |
Y.M.C.A.
(full quote)
|
| 40209 |
good God a negro!
(full quote)
|
| 46942 |
1) who are you? 2) the mother? 1 and others) the mother!
(full quote)
|
| |
I can't help it! Perry Como always does this to me!
(full quote)
|
| |
Because he must!
(full quote)
|
| |
1. Well I guess living up here tends to make people look older. 2. Up here on the 18th floor?
(full quote)
|
| 13284 |
Others are multisexual. It seems like they can be both. He tried to sell me his body, Helen. They offer lawn furniture as a come-on!
(full quote)
|
| 48652 |
Yeah, let me guess something. This is your first visit to La-La-Land. You're staying somewhere in Hollywood because like an idiot you thought that would be an exciting place to stay. Am I right so far?
(full quote)
|
| bigclaude |
Leave my elevator alone!
(full quote)
|