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Big Daddy - 1999 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
2946 I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass! (full quote)
3613 Veronica! I didn't know you were a HOOTER'S girl!!! (full quote)
  Watch out, there's a stick there, somebody should move it! (full quote)
  Hip. Hip hop. Hiphopanonomus. YOU GIVE HIM ALL THE easy ONES! (full quote)
  Delivery Boy- I had a doll like that one, but my cat, she bite its head of. Adam Sandler- What kind of a cat would do that? Delivery Boy- Are you calling me liar?! (full quote)
4107 This Columbo... He pretend to be stupid; but he's really smart as a tack! (full quote)
4107 your girlfriend is acting really Hooter-rific again. (full quote)
  hip...hip-hop...hip-hop-o-nonomous? (full quote)
4184 hooters, hooters, hooters (full quote)
4184 next time kill me. (full quote)
4184 damb you scuba steve (full quote)
4184 stop pulling you sister's hair (full quote)
4184 be nice to the delivery guy its not his fault he cant read (full quote)
4184 will someone get the kid a happymeal (full quote)
4184 i think its cool that you work one day a week (full quote)
4184 yeah i have them in yellow too when i work out. (full quote)
4184 is that the man with old balls? (full quote)
4184 your not attracted to old people are you. (full quote)
4294 whats your name he'll write it on the wall (full quote)
4294 Yes uncle Remus the catfish are huge... (full quote)
  Furghiem to Papa (full quote)
1212 1)I wipe my own ass. 2)Me too. (full quote)
1212 No! I care about you saving money on this phone call!! (full quote)
1212 Layla, if you don't come over to Sonny's apartment tonight, there's a good chance that I'll develop a stutter. P-p-please don't do this to me. (full quote)
1212 Its not nursing stuff, stupid. Its common sense: scratching spreads rashes. (full quote)
1212 1)You're not proposing, are you? 2)Uh, yeah, buddy. I am. 1)Well, think about. (full quote)
4338 Yes, we all have bellybuttons. And you all like to drink Yoo-hoo. You know what's good in Yoo-hoo? Rum. (full quote)
  ahhh..you 2 wear the same size t shirts (full quote)
  styx is won of the gweatest amewican wock bands (full quote)
  Delivery Guy:Fish...Pony...Hip...Hiphop...Hiphopomamous!?!Damn you!You give him the easy ones!!!!!!!! (full quote)
4656 Yes! Uncle Remis, I know the fish are catfish huge! (full quote)
  Guy:Oh good parenting. Sonny: What are you my psychologist? Take a walk!!! (Throws his french fries) (full quote)
  Did I just witness the first kiss. Gross. Don't touch Him He's Dirty and he's poor. (full quote)
4815 How do you play..... I win...... How do you play..... I WIN!!!!!.......... (full quote)
4815 Kangaroo song....KANGAROO SONG!!!!!!! (full quote)
  He taught me that Styx was one of the greatest American rock bands and they only caught a bad rep because most critics are sinical ass holes. (full quote)
  Who do you want to win??.... The god damn jets.. (full quote)
  ...cause most critics are cynical assholes... (full quote)
5323 Yeah spaghetti and meatball is all american. If you don't like spaghetti and meatball you might as well just get the hell out. (full quote)
3594 Hey, you just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gonna be missing me when ya got that big, white, wrinkly body on top of ya, with his loose skin and...old balls! Gross! (full quote)
  I have a bellybutton (full quote)
  I have a bellybutton (full quote)
  1) Hey man, are you alright? 2) Next time kill me. (full quote)
  30 packets of ketchup! (full quote)
  Sausage McMuffin! (full quote)
  1.) why do i have to wear a bathing suit in the bath 2.) cuz i dont know the rules with little kids and the whole shower thing (full quote)
  Yes, we all have bellybuttons. And you all like to drink Yoo-hoo. You know what's good in Yoo-hoo? Rum. Whats Rum?Rumplestilskin ? Rumplestilskin was a good man, so are you guys. Remember stay strong, stay clean. (full quote)
  Yes, we all have bellybuttons. And you all like to drink Yoo-hoo. You know what's good in Yoo-hoo? Rum. Whats Rum?Rumplestilskin ? Rumplestilskin was a good man, so are you guys. Remember stay strong, stay clean. (full quote)
  Thees ees bull sheet! (full quote)
  They go together like lamb and tunafish...Maybe you like spaghetti and meatball better? (full quote)
  I'll smack you through the wall, like last week. Last Monday was a fluke! Bring it on, WOMAN!! (full quote)
  Sonny- Why you keep scratchin yourself? Julian- I got...eggs....eggs... Sonny- Ecxima....GROSS!!! (full quote)
  Sonny- what are scratchin? Julian- I got eggs.....eggs.... Sonny- Ecxima.....GROSS!!! (full quote)
  1.I have call in building for delivery but I think its crank call. Want some chocalate cake?2.No its a bad time buddy. Ccome back later and I'll Indian wrestle you.1.Okay...your going down sucker. Peace out!! (full quote)
  KID:What's rum? SONNY:You don't know what rum is? KID:Rumpolstiltskin? SONNY:He's a good man. (full quote)
  DELIVERY GUY: one time i had a doll like that. But the cat it bite its head off. FRANKENSTEIN: what kinda cat would do that. DELIVERY GUY: U callin me a liar (full quote)
  1) hey is that the guy with old ball? 2) i think you're suposed to say testicles. (full quote)
  hey....i got call in the building but i think was prank call......u want some shocolate cake?!! (full quote)
  i had a doll like that once....but my cat, he bite his head off....(julian)what kinda cat would do that?...(delivery guy)U callING ME A LIER??!!!....(sonny)TAKE IT EASY (full quote)
  (mr. hurley) cofax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid..but he fights like a girl(laughing)..(sonny)what are ya drunk mr. hurley (mr.hurley) well i had a few chardoneys...what of it? (full quote)
  ahh, you sir..... (full quote)
  1.are you allowed soda? 2.i dunno. 1.well my mom says thats sodas rot your teeth but your gonna lose them teeth anyway so rot on right? (full quote)
  1.are you allowed soda? 2.i dunno. 1.well my mom says thats sodas rot your teeth but your gonna lose them teeth anyway so rot on right? (full quote)
  Initiating the conversation is half the battle (full quote)
  he tried to shave my head while i was sleeping, and when i woke up i broke his arm! (full quote)
  I'll bring ya back an egg mcmuffin if you pretend to fall asleep. make it a sausage mcmuffin and ya got a deal (full quote)
  Hey, Old Man River. Zip it or I'll break your hip. (full quote)
  Well, the good news is you're starting to not smell like a fish anymore. (full quote)
  If you don't come over to Sonny's apartment tonight, there's a good chance that I'll develop a stutter. P--p--please don't do that to me. (full quote)
  homeless guy:hehe...STOP YELLING AT ME...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (full quote)
  Hey! You two wanna get married I support that. Leave me alone. (full quote)
  Well what do you want your name to be? Frankenstein. Alright then Frankenstein, let's go. (full quote)
  Sonny: Don't be mean to me because you're mad at your father. Punk: You're right you're right. I hate my father (full quote)
  The kid just wont stop peeing and throwin up, hes like a damn cocker-spaniel! (full quote)
  Friend: Holy Shit Sunny Colfax would rather work the eat. Sunny: I have to sue you assholes for bringing me here. Everyon: SUPRISE! Sunny: Did you guys waste the good suprise on me again? HI CORINE! (full quote)
1980 well for me it was the mushroom period (full quote)
1980 do you want my opinion? my son is a morron! (full quote)
1980 ...and we're both losing weight... (full quote)
1980 and the rabbit got shot down (full quote)
3594 1: And...how long have you disliked Mr. Koufax? 2: Since the day I met him. 1: And for the record, where did you work while you attended medical school? 2: Hooters. 1: No further questions. (full quote)
3594 1: I gotta admit, I'm still a little weirded out when they kiss. 2:Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do. 1: Yeah, I know, but they were like brothers to us back in school. 2: They're still like our brothers, our very very gay brothers...What are you doing after this? Goin' to a clan meeting? (full quote)
3594 1: But we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30. 2: AAHHHHHHH HORSESHIT!...No no no, don't cry. I'm sorry, I wasn't cursing at you, I was cursing at the lady. 3: Nice parenting. 2: Hey thanks! You my therapist? Take a walk! (full quote)
4943 Wow, if the girls at Hooters could see her now.. (full quote)
5240 1. Be quiet or I'll give you a crew cut, mister. 2. Let's see your clippers! (full quote)
5240 1. If I make this hole, Vanessa will realize that she likes me the way I am (hits ball) Yes! I did it. good God! 2. That can't be good. (full quote)
5240 1. Hi, where are you headed off to? 2. Manhattan. 1. Great, good you take me with you? 2. I guess. 1. Ok, just hold on to your money. (slams door.) Cadillac, I love it. (full quote)
5373 Hey, you just made the biggest mistake of your life baby. I know you're gonna be missing me when you got that big, white, wrinkly body on top of you with his loose skin and old ball. GROSS! (full quote)
5994 When you come to my resaurturant never order BLT, Remember stay away from the BLT. (full quote)
5994 I know you! You order 3 pieces of cheesecake! (full quote)
6034 We wasted the good surprise on you. (full quote)
6034 Hey, Old man river, zip it or I'll break your hip. (full quote)
6150 Would somebody PLEASE get the kid a happy meal!!! (full quote)
6252 1.They were like our brothers. 2. They still are our brothers...our gay, gay brothers. (full quote)
6252 We wasted the good surprise on Sunny! (full quote)
6369 Yes, we all have bellybuttons. And you all like to drink Yoo-hoo. You know what's good in Yoo-hoo? Rum. Whats Rum?Rumplestilskin ? Rumplestilskin was a good man, so are you guys. Remember stay strong, stay clean. (full quote)
6752 LITTLE KID 1: I have a belly button. SONNY: Well, we have all have belly buttons. And you know what? We all love yoo-hoo. Especially yoo-hoo with a little rum. LITTLE KID 2: What's rum? SONNY: You don't rum is? LITTLE KID 2: Rumplestiltskin? SONNY: Rumplestiltskin. Rumplestiltskin's a good man. So are you kids. Remember stay clean, stay focused, stay strong. Frankenstein have fun with your friends. (full quote)
6755 I WIPE MY OWN ASS!!! I WIPE MY OWN ASS!!! (full quote)
8059 Hi! What's your name, he'll write it on the wall. Mind your business! (full quote)
8190 they go together like lamb and tunafish. (full quote)
8190 Kangaroo Song, Kangaroo Song! KANG-A-ROO-SONG! SONNY: Alllllrrrriiiigggght!!!! Jesus christ. (full quote)
8487 I'll wipe my ass! I'll wipe my ass! (full quote)
8808 - He has a five year plan....what is it, don't DIE? (full quote)
aussieangelchick 1:how much would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood 2: ~*silance*~ 1: yeah, didnt think so (full quote)
9843 his teeth were made out of wool (full quote)
9862 Nozzle: They go together like lamb and tuna feesh. Attorney: Lamb and Tuna fish? Nozzle: Maybe you like Spaghetti and Meatball? Maybe your more comfortable with that analogy? Homless guy:Yes, considering we're in America. If you don't like Spaghetti and Meatballs, why don't you get the hell out. Nozzle: Hey, I'll come down there give you crew cut! homeless Guy: Yeah, well lemme see your clippers! Nozzle: It's not my fault your father was sick! Nozzle: (Stuttering..) Stop Yelling at Me!! (full quote)
10053 You owe me an egg mcmuffin! (full quote)
10623 Man this Yoohoo is good, you know what else is good, smoking dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know, puffing the cheeba, go by the see saw smoke a j. You know what I'm talking about? I have a belly button. You have a belly button, well we all have belly buttons. You know what? We all love Yoohoo, especially Yoohoo with a little rum. What's rum? You don't know what rum is? Rumplestilskin? Rumplestilskin. Rumplestilskin's a good man. So are you guys. Hey, stay clean, stay focused, stay strong. Frankenstein, have fun with your friends. (full quote)
11314 Here you go Sonny, it's a clock-radio. (full quote)
11392 Well, the good news is that you're starting not to smell like a foot anymore. (full quote)
12248 How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? ...Yeah thought so, now get out of the way! (full quote)
12248 Julian: This is my hook, there's my jacket and that's a capetillar. Sonny: Don't you mean a catepillar? Julian: Yeah, that's wight a capetillar. (full quote)
12466 Im a singing kangaroo and im from far away, i like to hop hop hop all day! (full quote)
12774 I know you'll be missing me when you got that big, white, wrinkly body on top of you with his loose skin and old BALLS!! (full quote)
12916 You owe me sausage mcmuffin (full quote)
12916 (singing)If you'd like to come and play, we'll hop hop hop hop whadda say? (full quote)
13351 Is that the guy with the old balls? (full quote)
13461 1-dropped milk on the floor 2-Dont worry we'll fix it.. (full quote)
13515 BUT SONNY HE HAS A FIVE YEAR PLAN what DONT DIE!!!! (full quote)
13846 Hey Mr. Herlihy, ya better hut up before i slam you into the wall like last week. Last week was a fluke...bring it on woman! Heheheh...He drinks a lot of soda! (full quote)
14298 Sonny and the boy,they go together like lamb and tuna fish...Maybe spaghetti and meatball, you more comfortable with that analogy? (full quote)
  hooters (full quote)
  Man this Yoo-Hoo is good, you know what else is good? Smoking dope. You know, puffing the cheebah, go behind the see-saw, smoke a J. I won't rat you out I have a bellybutton We all have bellybuttons and we all love Yoo-Hoo, especially Yoo-Hoo with a little rum Whats rum? You don't know what rum is? Rumplestiltskin? Rumplestiltskin was a good man, and so are you guys. OK I gotta go boys, stay clean, stay cool, stay focused, Frankenstein have fun with your friends. (full quote)
  styx is one of the gweatest american wock bands and the only reason the call it bad rock because most critics are synical assholes. (full quote)
  watch out there's a pole there (full quote)
  you can sit down if you wanna or you can stand there either way (full quote)
  Corrin: Is that Kevin on the phone? Sonny: No it's my...uncle Remus Corrin: *rolls eyes* Sonny: Yeah Hooters, HOOTERS, HOOTERS! (full quote)
  Yes uncle Remus! I know the catfish are huge! That's WONDERFUL! (full quote)
  Yeah, considering we're in America, I mean if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs, why don't ya get the hell out! (full quote)
  1.They go together like lamb and tunafish.2. Lamb and tuna fish?!?!3. Perhaps spaghetti and meatball if you like that analogy better.4. Yeah considering we're in America, I mean if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs why don't ya get the hell out! (full quote)
  Yeah your gonna miss me when you have that big white body on top of you with his loose skin and old balls, gross! (full quote)
  i wet my bed (full quote)
  I mean this is America, if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs you may as well just get the hell out (full quote)
  Hey, old man river, zip it, or i'll break your hip! (full quote)
  who thinks frankenstein should study? and who doesnt? HA we win 2-1... uh huh, that guy doesnt count, he cant even read (full quote)
  1. let's put it to a vote. Ha see you lose 2-1. 2. nu uh, that guy doesn't count. he can't even read. (full quote)
  1.)You all like to drink yoo-hoo, you know what's good in yoo-hoo? Rum!2.)Rumplestilskin? (full quote)
  1. Nice parenting. 2. Are you my therapist? *throws his fries* Take a walk! (full quote)
  SONNYS DAD: why dont you take the BAR exam SONNY: i cant i got to much other shit going on in my life (full quote)
  (Julian)-I wet my bed. (Sonny)-Man, thats a shit load of piss. (full quote)
  delivery guy: I had doll like that one time, but my CAT she bite his head off Julian: What kinda cat would do that? delivery guy: YOU callING ME A LIAR! (full quote)
  AAHHH!! SCUBA STEVE!!! DAMN YOU!!! (full quote)
  1)If you don't like spaghetti and meatballs why don't you get the heck out. 2)Hey, I come down there give you crew cut mister 1)Let me see your clippers. 2) Not my problem your father was sick. 1) STOP YELLING AT ME! (full quote)
  What's your name - we'll write on the wall for you. Mind your business! (full quote)
  DAD:And what about that time you were supposed to pick up your Grandmother from the airport. SON:Yea?!? DAD:What happened then. SON:Well Jethro Tull was having a reunion concert so I caught that. DAD :And what happened to your Grandmother when she was in town. SON:She died. DAD:And why didn't you make it to her funeral. SON:I got drunk and fell asleep at Jones' Beach....OLD DRUNK GUY:HELL YES! (full quote)
  Sunny:They stopped serving breakfeast at 10:30. Street hustler: total mind blow. (full quote)
  Delivery guy: How's it my problem your father was sick!! homeless Guy: haha STOP YELLING AT ME!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  your gonna be missing me baby, when ya got that big white rinkly body on top of ya with his loose skin and old balls....gross! (full quote)
  Hey old man river! Zip it or I'll brake ya hip! (full quote)
  And this is the capitiller...The caterpillar...Thats what I said the capitiller (full quote)
  SUNNY:I Went to Jones Beach, got drunk and fell asleep. Mr. Hurley: Hell yes! (full quote)
  SUNNY: Spighetti O's, you like Spighetti O's? Julian: Yes. SUNNY: Dented cans are half price, Microsoft went down 3 points. (full quote)
  CORIANNE: What the hell is he doing? SUNNY: He's shopping. JULIAN: Michael-soft went down 3 points. CORIANNE: Oh yeah, great job (full quote)
  YOU'RE MAD AT your DAD NOT ME, I FORGIVE YOU! (full quote)
  i have no idea what you are talking about... (full quote)
  1) I win! 2) Why? 1) Because I win! (full quote)
  Sonny: oh my god i let my kid become the smelly kid in class, what the hell is wrong with me? teacher: oh yes, i've had some smelly ones before, but he is by far the sme;;oes (full quote)
  Im scooba SAM scooba steves dad! (full quote)
  sonny: man this yohoo is good. you know what else is good? smoking dope. i ain't gonna rat you out. you know. puff a cheeba, go by the seesaw, smoke a jay, you know what i'm talking about. kid 1: i have a bellybutton. sonny: you have a bellybutton, we all have belly buttons. and we all love yohoo. especially yohoo with a little rum. kid 2: what's rum? sonny: you don't know what rum is? kid 2: rumplestiltskin? sonny: rumplestiltskin....rumplestiltskin was a good man. your good kids. stay clean, stay focused, stay strong. have fun with your friends frankenstein. (full quote)
  What do you eat? - food. - Yeah, I eat food too. (full quote)
  ~What did you learn about girls today? ~Half the battle is iniciating the conversation. (full quote)
  Yes uncle remus, i know the catfish are huge. (full quote)
  Good God! It's 2:30 in the morning, you must me wrecked. Anyways, I had fun today, did you have fun?- Yeah, your all right. Have a good one! (full quote)
  You're not attracted to like sixty year old guys are you? -No...!? -Yeah I don't like them much either. (full quote)
  1) I had a call for delivery in building, but I think it was prank call, want some chocolate cake? 2) Naw, its not really a good time, come back later and I'll indian wrestle ya 3)You're going down sucker! 4)yeah we'll see about that 5) ok, peace out! (full quote)
  1: He already has a five year plan. 2: what is it..not to die? (full quote)
  Big Daddy- Yes Ulcle Ramus, I know the catfish are huge (full quote)
  Big Daddy- Yes Uncle Ramus, I know the catfish are huge! (full quote)
  Person- God Damn stick!!! Big Daddy- That's my boy (full quote)
  Layla, if you don't come over to Sonny's apartment tonight, there's a good chance that I'll develop a stutter. P-p-please don't do this to me. (full quote)
  It smells like yuron in this joint. good job (full quote)
  Last week was a fluke bring it on woman (full quote)
  Hip? Hip-hop? Hip-hopanonymous? Damn you, you give him the easy ones! (full quote)
  KRISTY IS THE SHIZNIT!!!! (full quote)
  Nice fathering! And what are you, my therapist? Take a walk! (full quote)
  God-damn jets (full quote)
  Sonny-But everyone's been busy with their crap lately, no one ever comes. Mr. Hurley-Like i'm not busy? Sonny-Hey Mr. Hurley, how 'bout you shut up before I smack you through the wall like last monday. Mr. Hurley-Last Monday was a fluke. Bring it on, woman. Sonny-Anytime. (full quote)
  Kid-i have a belly button.Sonny-Yea well we all have belly buttons. WE all love yoo-hoo. Especially yoo-hoo wit a little rum.Kid-What's rum?Sonny-You don't know what rum is?Kid-Rumplestilskin?Sonny-RUMPLESTILSKIN. Rumplestilskin's a good man. So are you guyz. Stay clean. Stay focused. Stay strong. Frankenstein, have fun with your friends. (full quote)
  1. what do you want? 2. ummm lasagna 1. this is mcdonalds they dont have lasagna 2. ummmmm cheerios 1. what the hells the matter with you (full quote)
  this is a very important game this is a very important game stop that stop that (full quote)
  microsoft just went down three points (full quote)
  What are you doing? Shopping. Microsoft went down three points. (full quote)
  Hey, old man river, shut your mouth or ill break your hip (full quote)
  school is for fools, look at me (full quote)
  Puffin the cheeba. Smoke a lil J over by the seesaw (full quote)
  Stay away from the frozen food section your boods will harden!! (full quote)
  CAN SOMEbody GET THE KID A HAPPY MEAL!! (full quote)
  I got a 2, a 4, a 10, an 8, and a 6. I Win! (full quote)
  Man that's a shit load of piss. (full quote)
  Delivery Guy: Hey I know you! You always order three piece of cheesecake!!! (full quote)
  these days i drink a chocolate shake and my ass jiggles for a week.. (full quote)
  1. objection your honour! 2. shut up tommy! 1. sorry mr. koufax.. (full quote)
  the good news is you're not starting to smell like a foot anymore.. (full quote)
  1. yes, his teeth were made of wool.. 2. wood. 1. oh sorry, i mix up d and l... (full quote)
  He drinks a lot of soda (full quote)
  I drink a milkshake and my ass jiggles for like a week... (full quote)
  They're not scrawny...They're nice. (full quote)
  Don't go in the frozen food section, your boobs will harden! (full quote)
  That's cool, you both wear the same size t-shirt (full quote)
  Sonney how ya doin Julion how ya doin S. like hockey J. like hockey S. This is a big impotant game J. this is a big impotant game S. cut the crap J. cut the cwap S. Im being serious dont do that J.Im being serious dont do that S. how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, yeath thats what i thought shutup! (full quote)
  Kid- I have a belly-button Adam Sandler- Yeah, we all have belly-buttons. And we ALL love yoo-hoo, especially yoo-hoo with a little rum. Kid- whats rum? Adam Sandler- You don't know what rum is? Kid- Rumplestilskin? (full quote)
  when im not with you im thinking about you, do you have any of that going on at all? (full quote)
  SOCIAL SERVICES GUY: ...he's gonna have to chill in a group home for awhile SONNY: What's that, an orphanage? SOCIAL SERVICES GUY: Well we don't call them that anymore! (full quote)
  Nozzo- Sonny, I would like to help, but my status in this country is not what you would call legal. (full quote)
  OOOOOWWWW!!!! Scuba Steve, Damn you! (full quote)
  help me! help me! I'm lost and I don't know where I am! (full quote)
  delivery guy : they go together like lamb and tuna person 2: ..lamb and tuna? delivery guy: do you prefer spegetti and meat ball? (full quote)
  Gay Guy 1: He just did 10 push ups....I cant even do 10 with these scrawny arms Gay Guy 2: They're not scrawny, their nice :0) (full quote)
  Teacher: Mr. Koufax, your son has become a bit of a problem in this class. The other day, a student brought rollerblades into show and tell, and Julian tripped him with a stick! He found it hilarious. And then, he spilled glue on his desk and covered it with a newspaper. Personally, I've found his personal hygeine to be a bit of a disturbance, too. Sonny: He's the smelly kid in class, I made him the smelly kid in class!?! Teacher: Ohh yes, I've had some smelly ones before, but your son is by far the smelliest! (full quote)
  sonny: see look at this guy...im sure he was just a nice lil boy like you until his dad messed with his mind..hey buddy who won the jets game guy: i unno who cares! Sonny: its okay buddy your mad at ur dad not at me i forgive you! guy: yea ur right...i am mad at my dad.... (full quote)
  little italy - respect this place because the fatter you are the cooler you are (full quote)
  Microsoft went down 3 points (full quote)
  you want some chocolate cake? (full quote)
  Bar tender: So..who do you want to win? Julian: The GOGDAMN Jets! (full quote)
  Stay outta the frozen food section ot your boobs will harden. (full quote)
  I know you'll be missin me when you've got that old wrinkly body on top of ya; with loose skin and old balls...GROSS!! (full quote)
  sausage mcmuffin (full quote)
  Will you stop crying if I get hurt again?, will that cheer you up some? (full quote)
1335 1. Is that the guy with the old balls? 2. Yes, I think it is. But I don't think you're supposed to say balls, ok? It's testicles. (full quote)
8916 I originally wanted to be a male model, but it turns out that i'm not very good looking. (full quote)
CarmiCrowe He taught me to pee on buildings. (full quote)
CarmiCrowe What's your name? He'll write it on the wall. (full quote)
MaggieForMargaret Hey, you two wanna get married, I support that! (full quote)
beekers 1: What the hell is he doing? 2: Shopping. 3: Microsoft went down three points. (full quote)
beekers 1: what do you want to eat, Frankenstein? 2: Thirty packets of ketchup! (full quote)
13284 Koufax is a really good egg, he was nice to that kid, but he fights like a girl. (to Sonny) I'm over here, miss, what are you gonna do about it? (laughs) (full quote)
13284 Mr. Koufax is a really cool guy, wish my dad was as cool, see my dad is a miliary man. When I was 35 years old, he attempted to give me a crew cut while I was sleeping. I woke up, broke his arm, and hasn't seen him since. I'd rather be living out on the streets than under his freaky-ass rules. (full quote)
14298 Yeah I had the whole 'mom' thing lined out but she's bangin the pepperidge farm guy. (full quote)
14314 Id rather live out on the streets than under his FREAKY ASS rules (full quote)
14314 Waiter: Im sorry sir, but its not my problem Sonny: Hey buddy, now it is your problem (full quote)
14345 1)So you guys just chill out together all day? 2)Basically. We hung out at the park yesterday. The kid did eight chin-ups! 3)Eight? I can't even do one with these scrawny arms. 1)They're not scrawny. They're nice... (full quote)
14345 1)I gotta admit. I'm still a little weirded out when they kiss. 2)Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do. 1)Yeah, but they were like brothers to us back in school. 2)They're still like our brothers, our very very gay brothers. (full quote)
14345 1)Here comes some candy. (rings the doorbell and nobody comes) Hey! Happy Hallowen, we've got a first timer out here! (knocks on the window) Do the right thing buddy. He wants some candy. (flips him off and shuts the blinds) Can you wait here for a second? (Comes in through the back door) Hey, wise guy! 2)WHAT?! 1)GET UP! 2)Don't hurt me! (puts stuff in his bag) 1)Okay. Yeah, CDs. He's not happy. What else you got? (puts his watch in) Yeah okay, that's good. Trick or treat. Say happy Halloween. 2)Happy Halloween. 3)Thank you. 1)Next year be prepared, moron! (full quote)
14345 what's with the kid wearing a cumberbunt? (full quote)
14345 1)By any chance did you happen to make it to her funeral? 2)No. 1)Why not? 2)I went to Jones Beach, got drunk and fell asleep. 3)Hell yes! (full quote)
14345 1)Who's this? 2)He's my...friend. 1)Is that Kevin on the phone? 2)No! It's my Uncle...Reamus. 1)Hi, what's your name? Is he all right? 2)Yeah, he just doesn't like you. Leave us alone. 1)You're such a dick. 2)That was your girlfriend, she was acting really hooteriffic again. (full quote)
14345 1)Why are you here? 2)I'm cleaning because you're useless. 1)Then what? You gonna go to your Hooters reunion? You guys sit around and talk about whose ass hangs out of their shorts the most? 2)At lest I can fit my ass into my shorts, fatty. 1)Speaking of fatty, who's is this? 2)I don't know. 1)I'm eating it then. (full quote)
14345 HOOTERS, HOOTERS, HOOTERS! (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, congratulations. You and Big Boobs Magee are going to be very happy together. 2)Don't call her Bib Boobs Magee. 1)You want to explain to your children you met their mother while she was waitressing at Hooters? 2)Sonny, that was five years ago, she's a doctor now. And my fiance so from now on...Dr. Big Boobs Magee. (full quote)
14345 So this is Corrine's place? If the girls at Hooters could see her now! (full quote)
14345 1)I didn't know you knew anything about kids. I thought you were a foot doctor. 2)It's not doctor stuff, stupid. It's common sense. Scratching spreads rashes. 1)Oh, so this is something you learned at Hooters. (full quote)
14345 Hey, you just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're going to be missing me when you've got the big white wrinkly body on top of you with his loose skin and old...balls! Gross! (full quote)
14345 1)Hey Dad, how you doing? How's Florida? 2)Not too bad. your mother got a sunburn playing tennis yesterday. 1)I've got some news. 2)Oh yeah? What? 1)I kind of adopted a kid. 2)What the hell are you talking about? 1)I'm talking about you being a grandfather. Congratulations. 2)Who the hell would give you a kid? 1)Social services. 2)You idiot! You better give that kid back! 1)His mother's--hang on. Go play with them pigeons, buddy. I tried to give him back but I just can't. Vanessa dumped me. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. 2)You're damn right you don't know what the hell you're doing! 1)The kid is always around! You would think he'd want some privacy but he doesn't! I'm in deep shit! 2)You better give that kid back before you ruin both your lives! 1)Oh, I appriciate that, Dad. 2)He'd be better off living in a dumpster than with you. 1)Hey, I'll be a better father than you! 2)That's impossible because all you care about is yourself! 1)Oh yeah, I care about you saving money on this phone call!!! (beats the phone on the reciever) Let's eat. (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, buddy! Who won the Jet's game? You know? 2)Who cares. 1)Let it go, pal. He can't control you anymore. 2)What are you talking about? 1)You know what I'm talking about. 2)Yeah, you're a loser! 1)You're mad at your dad, not at me. I forgive you! 2)I am, I am. I hate my father! (full quote)
14345 1)Everybody's been so busy with their crap lately, no one ever comes. 2)Like I'm NOT busy? 1)Hey, Mr. Herlihy, you about you shut up or I'll smack you through the wall like last Monday. 2)Last Monday was a fluke! Bring it on, woman! (full quote)
14345 1)Koufax is a good egg. He was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here, miss. Whatcha gonna do about it? Heh heh heh! 2)What, are you drunk, Mr. Herlihy? 1)I had a few chardone's. What of it? (full quote)
14345 Come on, is there really a kid there, or is this like the time you told me my parents were dead? (full quote)
14642 Look, Lucian! He's gonna fall!!! Fall! Fa... YES!!! Oh no, he made it! DAMN IT! You suck, you suck, YOU SUCK!!!!! (full quote)
14642 Sonny: Hey, Lucian! Look at that guy! (Sonny is pointing at punker in black) He was very nice boy like you but his dad messed his mind up! Hey buddy! Who won the Jets game tonight? Punker: Who cares? Sonny: Let it go, pal! He can't control you anymore! Punker: What are you talking about? Sonny: You know what I'm talking about! Punker: YEAH! YOU'RE A LOSER! Sonny: (screaming at punker) YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME! YOU'RE MAD AT your FATHER! I FORGIVE YOU!!!! Punker: (imitating crying) I am! I am! I hate my father! (full quote)
14642 Nazso: (Trying to read) Fish, pony, hip... hippo... hip hop anonymous! Damn ya, you're givin' him all the easy ones!!! (full quote)
14642 Lucian: I win! Nazso: What do ya mean you win?! Lucian: I win! Nazso: But you just have little poor cards!!! Lucian: So? I WIN!!! Nazso: This is bullshit!!! Sonny: Yo, take it easy, he's just a kid! (full quote)
14642 Sonny: Watch out or I'll make ya burst outta wall like in monday! Old man: Monday was a fluke! Bring it on, woman! Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh... duh... hehehehehehe...! Sonny: (Whispering to Lucian) He drinks too much soda. (full quote)
15086 I can be in the scuba squad?? (full quote)
15086 I have no idea what your talking about (full quote)
15933 1.) I got delivery in building but i think it was crank call. 2.) It's a bad time man, come back later I'll indin wrestle you. 1.) your going down sucker! 2.) yea well we'll see about that. 1.) OKay, peace out! (full quote)
15933 1.) Hi welcome to McDonalds what can I get for you? 2.) what do you want? 3.) Cherrios! 2.) They don't got cherrios what else you want? 3.) Lasagna! 2.) Lasagna? what the hells a matter with you...We'll take sausage and hot cakes and... 1.) Uh sorry sir we stopped serving breakfast 2.) What are you talking about we're 4 seconds late. 1.) No your 30 minutes and 4 seconds late we stop serving breakfast at 10:30 2.) Aww HORSE SHIT! 3.) (kid crying) 2.) No I'm sorry I wasn't cursing at you I was cursing at the lady. 4(guy). Hey nice parenting! 2.) WHAT you my therapist? take a walk!! do you want a happy meal? can we get a happy meal?? WILL SOMEBODY GET THE KID A HAPPY MEAL!!!? (full quote)
15933 1.) So Mr. Ass wiper what's this guys name? 2.) Scuba steve! 1.) I like his flippers, does he ever take them off? 2.) No 1.) what about if he goes bowling they don't make him where bowling shoes? they let him wear his flippers? 2.) yes 3.) I had a doll like that one time, but my cat he bite his head off! 2.) What kind of cat would do that? 3.) You calling me a liar! (full quote)
Betsy Having a kid is great...as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking. (full quote)
Betsy My friends make fun of me all the time, too. I've seen them, like, twenty-five times. Tommy Shaw, when I was, like, sixteen years old, I was at the concert, he actually reached out and grabbed my hand, pulled me up on stage, and I got to do the robot voice for Mr. Roboto! (full quote)
Betsy Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called doing the hibbidy-dibbidy. (full quote)
Betsy Hi, Julian! I'm Scuba Sam, Scuba Steve's father. You know, my son needs to take a bath, but he's afraid to bathe alone. So, I was wondering if you'd accompany him in the tub. Great, and after your bath, you need to study hard because if you want to be in the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart. (full quote)
16602 Yes, i know you! You buy 2 piece of chessecake from me (full quote)
17145 Sonny:I know you're smoking a J behind the seesaw, hoping no one will see ya; Kid: i have a belly button; Sonny: We all have belly buttons (full quote)
17489 What's your name? He'll write it on the wall. (full quote)
17741 what's Rum?...Rumpelstinskin? (full quote)
19481 Hey sweetie, what are you doing here? Watching the game. Who you want to win? The GOD-DAMN Jets! (full quote)
20261 I know you! You always order 3 piece cheescake! (full quote)
20791 SONNYS DAD: why dont you take the BAR exam SONNY: i cant i got to much other shit going on in my life (full quote)
22841 [Sonny is watching a hockey game.] Julian: Kangaroo Song! Kangaroo Song! KAAAAAAAAAAANGAAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG! Sonny: AAAAAAAAAAAALRIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! (full quote)
23700 Sonny Koufax: The kid just won't quit peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel. (full quote)
Kchek Kangaroo song, kangaroo song! (full quote)
30110 that one touched the ground (full quote)
Bubbles what DO YOU SAY!!!! (full quote)
37222 it's not his fault he can't read (full quote)
37302 I have a belly button (full quote)
40770 I can wipe my own ass! (full quote)
40905 Oh look! You guys wear the same size t-shirt, that's cool. (full quote)
40905 (kid throws can down on floor)1.What the hell is he doing? 2.He's shopping, what does it look like? 3.Microsoft went down three points. (full quote)
43385 When you were young and on your own How did it feel to be alone I was always thinking of games that I was playing Tryin' to make best of my time But only love can break your heart Try to be sure right from the start Yes, only love can break your heart What if your world should fall apart I have a friend I've never seen He hides his head inside a dream Someone should call him and see can come out Try to lose the down that he's found But only love can break your heart Try to be sure right from the start Yes, only love can break your heart What if your world should fall apart I have a friend I've never seen He hides his head inside a dream But only love can break your heart Try to be sure right from the start Yes, only love can break your heart What if your world should fall apart fall apart (full quote)
44862 If O.J. can get away with murder, why can't Sonny have his kid? This guy knows what I'm talking about. (Points to a black man.) No more questions. (full quote)
44862 I never really tought about that kid. I mean I was never Mr. popular in high school and I watched Fantasia a lot. (full quote)
  God sunny, shut up. (full quote)
  1)We stop serving brekfast at 10:30.2)aaww horseshit. (full quote)
  Sorry sir we stop serving breakfast at 10:30. (Koufax: Ahh, HORSE$4!+ (full quote)
  (1)They go together like lamb and tunafish. (Lawyer): Lamb and tunafish? (1)Or spaghetti and meatball, if you are more comfortable with that analogy. (Hobo) Yeah, if you dont like spaghetti and meatballs, get the heck out. (1) I'll come down there and give you crew cut mister! (Hobo) Let's see your clippers! (1) It not my fault your father is crazy! (Hobo)*Now eating cantaloupe* STOP YELLING AT ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (full quote)
  Kangawoo song (full quote)
  Whats rum...? Rumplestilskin? (full quote)
  micwosoft went down twee points (full quote)
  But i wipe my own ass I wipe my own ass. (full quote)
  Sonny: [while Julian repeats what he's saying] How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Julian: [pause] Sonny: Yeah, that's what I thought, shut up! (full quote)
  it goes together like lamb and tuna fish (full quote)
caquinn2 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Yeah, that's what I thought. Shut up! (full quote)
mayhem3110 Chicken wings and Molson 30. You know Canadian Beer is like moonshine. (full quote)
ScarlettM you mean i could be in the scuba squad? (full quote)
kenziedoll74 There's a bright side to being up before 11 we can catch McDonalds Breakfast (full quote)
kenziedoll74 There's a bright side to being up before 11 - we can catch McDonalds Breakfast (full quote)
kenziedoll74 There's a bright side to being up before 11 - we can catch McDonalds Breakfast (full quote)