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South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut - 1999 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
bigcat58 1) Hey, Alec, do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? 2) No, what? 1) Nothing! (full quote)
bigcat58 Fallen one, I am Satan. I am your god now. (full quote)
bigcat58 Come on! Rub my nipples while I torture this piggy. (full quote)
bigcat58 Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?!?! (full quote)
4064 Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. (full quote)
4064 I'm sorry Wendy, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. (full quote)
  Dude, I'm sorry for all those times I called you a dumb Jew. I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew. Yes I am Cartman! I am a Jew. No dude, don't be so hard on yourself. (full quote)
  Mom... if you were in a German Shizer video... you...you'd tell me, right? (full quote)
4443 BLAME CANADA!!!!! (full quote)
4443 Viva le resistence (full quote)
  Now you boys sit down while I listen to my Brittany Spears records (full quote)
  1:Look Terrence,I farted!2:Really?Just Now? (full quote)
  Kyle's mom is a stupid bitch! (full quote)
  Stan:OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY!Kyle:YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
3225 1) Let me have some candy, Cartman 2) Uh, let's see...nope! I don't have any Jewish candy 1) Like you really need all that candy, fatboy! (full quote)
3225 I'm not getting grounded for you, I'm not getting grounded for anyone! (full quote)
  I just saw Asses of Fire, who wants to touch me? I said, who wants to fucking touch me??? .....I hate you, Kenny! (full quote)
  Children,you can still see fart jokes on Nickelodeon! (full quote)
  This is worse than the night you put your dick in your mouth and took a picture! (full quote)
  what DO YOU THINK THIS IS!?!A KIDDIE SHOW WHERE WE LICK A DINOSAUR'S FUCKING PUSSY!?! (full quote)
4997 Cartman's mom is a big fat bitch (full quote)
  Yes!This is gettin me so hot!Let's fuck! (full quote)
5045 i want this v-chip out of me, it has stunted my vocabulary. (full quote)
4619 Oh Yeah! Ya like that, don't ya bitch? (full quote)
4619 I sure can't wait for shore leave so I can get me some more fuckin poontang (full quote)
5352 You see homeless people but you just don't care ! (full quote)
5352 1)Six tickets to asses of fire please. 2)This movie may not be appropriate for your young ones. 1) Hey , he says this movie may not be appropriate for you guys. 3)Look Mr homeless PErson , if you don't want to buy us tickets , and not get your 10 bucks and not go buy a bottle of vodka , then be my guest. 1)Six tickets please (full quote)
5352 KEnny , how are you feeling son ? Mrrrphh That's great . Look I'm afraid we have some bad news: We accidently replaced your heart with a baked potato , you have about 3 seconds to live . (full quote)
5352 The alarms *wheeze* they went off *coughs up blood* . 2) Um , yeah that was my bad . Sorry . (full quote)
5352 I'm so sorry ! Mr Cripple ! But I just can't feel to bad for you right nowwwww ! Bacuase I'm feeling ! So insanely super ! That even the fact that you can't walk can bring me down ! (full quote)
5352 I bet him . I bet him He couldn't do it . I bet him a hundred dollars . 2) Come on Cartmen , it's not your fault ...1) Nah I'm justed stoked that I don't have to pay him ! (full quote)
  Shut your fucking face uncle fucker. youre an uncle fucker I must say. Well you fucked your uncle yesterday! (full quote)
5352 No , the Canadian Governament has apologised on several occasions for Brian Adams . (full quote)
5352 1) I'm here for La Resistance 2) what's the password ? 1) I-Don't know ! 2) Guess 1) Bacon! 2) OK (full quote)
5352 1) Stan , you know all those times I called you a dumb Jew ? I didn't mean it . your not a jew . 2) Yes I am . I am a jew, Cartmen . 2) Nah-nah Stan , don't be so hard on you self (full quote)
  That movie has warped my fragil little mind! (full quote)
  That movie has warped my fragil little mind! (full quote)
5669 Yes, yes I saw the Terrance & Phillip Movie who wants to touch me? I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME! I hate you ____. (full quote)
6049 We have apologised for Bryan Adams many times (full quote)
6051 Saddam, that's inappropriate. (full quote)
4619 1)It's aboot dignity.*laughter* It's aboot freedum of speech!*more laughter*It's aboot...*UN busts oot laughin*Wot's so damn funny? What you laughin aboot? 2)Well, for starters, you can tell us what this is all ABOUT!!!*laughs*1)This is an ootrage! (full quote)
5352 1) This is aboot dignity . This is about feedom of speech *laughter*This is aboot..*more laughter* WHat's so goddamn funny ? 2)Oh nothing , nothing . Could you please just tell us what the fuss is all..ABOUT . 1) The fuss is aboot diplomicy .It's aboot taking our citizens . It's aboot... *more laughter * You guy's are dicks ! Release Terrence and Phillip or else we'll give you something to cry aboot!! *Still more laughter* (full quote)
5352 1) How would you like to see the school couciller ? 2) How would you like to suck my ball ? *the whole room gasps* 1) What did you say ?!?!?!? 2) Oh , oh I'm sorry . What I sad was *grabs megaphone* HOW WOULD YOU LIKE..TO SUCK MY BALLS ? MR GARRISON ? (full quote)
6572 Mom, if you were in a German Shieser (sp?) video, you'd tell me, right? (full quote)
6631 American Ambassador: FUCK CANADA!!!! Canadian Ambassador: HEY FUCK YOU BUDDY!! (full quote)
7222 ok lets try to get an answer from someone who isnt completely retarded (full quote)
1980 if it's war they want, then war the shsll have! (full quote)
7712 Terrance: Youd fuck your uncle! Phillip: Youd fuck your uncle! (full quote)
7712 Cartman: what the hell is fuckin' wrong bitch!? Mr. Mackey: Ahh! (full quote)
7712 Cartman: whats the fuckin' deal bitch!? Mr. Mackey: Ahh! (full quote)
7869 No Fuck Gregory! Fuck Him Right In the Ear! (full quote)
  Have you ever heard of the emancipation proclamation??? I dont listen to hip hop (full quote)
5631 Donkey raping shit eater! (full quote)
5631 You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn, you just fuck your uncle all day long! (full quote)
9263 Sorry sirI missed lunch (full quote)
9263 Sorry sir I skipped lunch (full quote)
4619 Satan: Sadam, why do like making love from behind? Do you like to think I'm someone else? Sadam: Satan! your ass is big and red. Who am I suppose to think you are, Liza Benelli??? (full quote)
9551 I'm sorry. I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind. (full quote)
8042 1. I once farted on the set of 'Blue Lagoon'... 2. *slaps 1.* (full quote)
  Buttfor? whats a buttfor? For pooping silly. (full quote)
  try and catch me wendy. (full quote)
11313 I farted on the set of Blue Laggoon once. **slap (full quote)
11313 1. Who's my creampuff?? 2. I am (full quote)
12153 not! fuck! shit! cock! ass! shitty boner bitch! muff! pussy! cock! butthole! barbara streisand !! (full quote)
Demar Now, now, the Canadien government has appologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions. (full quote)
12153 mr. garrison: i'm sorry wendy, but i don't trust in something that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die! (full quote)
12153 tv anchorman: but mr. minister, it isn't like this film is the first trouble that came out of canada . let us not forget bryan adams. canadian representative: our government has apologized for bryan adams on numerous occasions ! (full quote)
  SHUT your F*CKIN' FACE...UNCLE F*CKER!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
14181 sorry but i don't trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesnt die (full quote)
14455 Donkey raping shit-eater (full quote)
14455 1)What's a rim job!? 2)That's when you put your legs behind your head and someone licks your ass. (full quote)
  i cant wait until our first break so i can get me some fkin poon tang (full quote)
  It's not my fault that I'm so evil It' society, Society. You see, my parents were sometimes abusive And it made a prick of me! (full quote)
  1) Why do you call a pig fucker? 2) Because you fuck pigs. 3) Why do you call an uncle fucker? 4) Because you fuck your uncle. (full quote)
  Cartman: OOOOOOHHHHH Kyle: Dont you do it cartman: ok ok ok Cartman: Oh kyle's mom's a bitch she's a big fat bitch she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she a bitch, bitch, bitch if there ever was a bitch, she a bitch to all the boys and girls....... Repeat (full quote)
  stan: what is it? kyle: Its a lady pooed on, Stan: Is it cartmans mom cartman: a fuck you kyle: wait a minute it is cartmans mom Cartman: Oh fuck (full quote)
  Stan: what about Gregory? Wendy: Oh fuck Gregory! Fuck him right in his ear! (full quote)
  Essein mein shizer, alright essein mein scheiser, okie doky (full quote)
17168 1) How would you like to go to the principal's office? 2) How would you like to suck my balls? 1) WHAT DID YOU SAY!?! 2) Oh, oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry what I said was (picks up megaphone & clears throat) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON!?! 3) Holy shit dude (full quote)
17815 I hate you Kenny (full quote)
  Satan: why do you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it that you want to pretend im someone else? Sadam: your ass is large and red who am i gonna pretend you are liza menely?!?! (full quote)
15848 1) Well your moms are just upset. They're probably all on their periods or something. 2) Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement. 1) Well, I'm sorry Wendy. I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. (full quote)
15848 what would Brian Boitano do? (full quote)
  COUNsellER McKAY: Step one: Instead of ass say buns like kiss my buns or you're a bunshole. Step two: Instead of shit say poo like poohead, bullpoo or this poo is cold. Step three: With bitch drop the T cos bich is short for generosity. Step four: Don't say fuck anymore cos fuck is the worst word that you can say. Instead jus say M'kay! (full quote)
19378 1:Do you have the butt-for? 2:whats a butt-for? 1:For pooping, silly. (full quote)
  Careful! was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb? (full quote)
  1.Cartment let me have some candy 2.Ahhh, nope no jewish candy here! (full quote)
  *i think i know the answer mr garrison* ~i think i know the answer mr. garrison~ *shut up fat ass* ~don't call me fat you fuckin jew~ >eric did u just say the f word?kyleericstanleykennyhow would you like to go see the school counsler?what did u say??< ~i'm sorry i'm sorry what i ment to say was HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS MR GARRISON< )holy shit dude( (full quote)
21033 everyone: BLAME CANADA!! BLAME CANADA!!! (full quote)
  SHUT yourE FUCKIN FACE UNCLE FUCKER (full quote)
  yourE AN UNCLE FUCKER I MUST SAY.. YOU FUCKED yourE UNCLE YESTERDAY (full quote)
  People people PLEASE, work with me here (full quote)
sjg1983 1) Looks like we may be out of luck! 2) Tomorrow night we're pretty fucked! (full quote)
sjg1983 Kenny? Can you hear me? I have some bad news, we accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about 3 seconds to live (full quote)
  #1 Did you bring the flash light, #2 yes, #1 and the rope, #2 yes, #1 and the butfor, #2 whats a Butfor, #1 For pooping silly. (full quote)
  #1 Did you bring the flash light, #2 yes, #1 and the rope, #2 yes, #1 and the butfor, #2 whats a Butfor, #1 For pooping silly. (full quote)
  sadaam is all you think about sex (full quote)
22367 It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him. (full quote)
25062 chef how do u get a girl to like u? thats easy, you've just got to find the clitoris. (full quote)
  Can I finish what I was saying, please?? Can i finish? Can I finish? Okay, I'm finished. (full quote)
  Shut your fuckin face uncle fucka you're a cock sucking ass licking uncle fucka you're an uncle fucka yes its true, no body fucks uncles quite like you. Shut your fucking face uncle fucka. You're the one who fucked your uncle, uncle fucka. You're an uncle fucka I must say. You fucked your uncle yesterday..........Shut your fuckin face uncle fucka. You're a bonor biting bastard, uncle fucka. You don't eat, or sleep, or mow the lawn. You fuck your uncle all day long. Uncle Fucka thats U-N-C-L-E FUCK YOU UNCLE FUCKAAAAAA.....suck my balls! (full quote)
  kyle: i think i know the answer mr.garison.. cartman:(mimicks kyle).. kyle:shutup fatboy.. cartman:don't call me fat u fuckin jew.. mr.garison DID U JUST SAY THE F WORD CARTMAN??... cartman:......... jew?.. kyle: no hes talking about fuck, you cant say fuck in fuckin school u fuckin fat ass..mr garison:KYLE!!!.. cartman: why the fuck not??.. mr.garison: CARTMAN!!!!.. kyle: dude u just said fuck again.. mr.garison:KYLE!!!.. kenny:(mumbles fuck).. mr.garison:KENNY!!! cartman: whats wrong, not like it hures anybody or nuthin... FUCK FUCKIDI FUCK FUCK FUCK.. mr.garison: HOW WUOLD U LIKE 2 GO SEE THE PRINCIPLE??!!.. cartman: HOW WOULD U LIKE 2 SUCK MY BALLS????.. all gasp.. mr.garison: WHAT DID U SAY?!?!.. cartman: o o im sorry what i said was (pulls out loud speaker) HOW WUOLD U LIKE 2 SUCK MY BALLS mr.garison??.. stan:holy shit dude!! (full quote)
beanochris S,U,C,K,M,Y,A,S,S, genetics (full quote)
  (Cartman has been fitted with a V Chip, which shocks him every time he swears. He explains this to his friends.) KYLE: Really? So you can't say fuck? CARTMAN: No. KYLE: And you can't say shit? CARTMAN: No! KYLE: So you can't say, I'm Eric Cartman, the fattest fucking piece of shit in the world? CARTMAN: FUCK YOU! (gets shocked by the V Chip) AHHHHH! KYLE: cool! (full quote)
Roy Phux When Canada is dead and gone they'll be no more Celine Dion (full quote)
  Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? I don't listen to hip-hop. (full quote)
toothboy12 1. Why do you always want to make love to me from behind. Is it that your pretending Im someone else? 2. your ass is big and red, who would imagine you as, Liza Minelli? (full quote)
69phreak69 s-u-c-k-m-y-a-s-s forensics (full quote)
69phreak69 mm'kay (full quote)
69phreak69 i attended school at yardale and had a 4.0 grade point average (full quote)
69phreak69 just another Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town (full quote)
69phreak69 kick the baby (full quote)
69phreak69 come wendy let us try to jump the hilly brush (full quote)
69phreak69 He He he He He!...Ahh!! Oh Shit !!! Oh Fuck!!! Fucking Shit!!!! (full quote)
69phreak69 you burned yourself to death by lighting your farts (full quote)
69phreak69 terrance and phillip are Canadian just like my brother (full quote)
  Well...fuck me in the ass and call me a bitch! (full quote)
  1. What's a rimjob? 2. It's where you put your legs behind your head and somebody licks your ass. (pause) (full quote)
  MOLE: Did you bring ze mirror? STAN: Got it. MOLE: And ze rope? STAN: Check. MOLE: And ze buttfor? KYLE: what's a buttfor? MOLE: For pooping, silly. (full quote)
  CARTMAN: I hate you, Kenny. (full quote)
  STAN: Chef, how do you make a girl like you more than any other boy? CHEF: Oh, that's easy! You just gotta find the clitoris? STAN: What? CHEF: Whoops! STAN: What does that mean, find the clitoris? CHEF: Uh.. forget I said anything. (full quote)
30992 1) Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? 2) Uhhhhhh, I don't listen to hip hop (full quote)
14345 1) where do you think you're going? 2) Mmm! Mmm mmm mmm mmm! 1) You can't! You have to go to church! 2)Mmm mmm mmm mmm... 1) Fine, go ahead and miss church. Then when you die and go to hell, you'll have to answer to Satan! 2)...okay! (full quote)
14345 Step 1 instead of 'ass' say 'buns' like 'Kiss my buns' or 'You're a bunshole'. Step 2 instead of 'shit' say 'poo' as in 'bullpoo', 'poohead' or 'This poo is cold'. Step 3 for 'bitch' drop the 't' cuz 'bich' is Latin for generosity. Step 4 don't say 'fuck' anymore cuz 'fuck' is the worst word that you can say so just say the word 'mkay'! (full quote)
14345 1)Baldwin residence. No, this is BILLY Baldwin, if you want Daniel Baldwin, call HIS extention, STUPID!!! 2)Hey, Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? 3)No, what? 2)Nothing! (full quote)
14345 1) Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclimation? 2) I don't listen to hip-hop! (full quote)
14345 Operation Get Behind the Darkies, my ass! (full quote)
  (Garrison in the school the answer of the question,kids fight for whos gonna anwser first) Cartman:Mememeememmemememe! Kyle:Shutup,fat-ass! Cartman:Hey,don,t call me fat,you fucking jew! Garrison:Eric!Did you say the f-word? Cartman:Jew? Kyle:You cant say fuck in the school,you fucking fat-ass! Garrison:Kyle! Cartman:Why the fuck not? Garrison:Eric! Stan:You say that fuck again! Garrison:Stanley! Kenny:Mmphpphh!(Fuck!) Garrison:Kenny! Cartman:What,s the fucking big deal,it dosent hurt anybody. Fuck-fucketi-fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Garrison:How did you it like to see school cansler? Cartman:How it you like to suck my balls? All kids in the glass:Ooooooooohhh! Garrison:WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!? Cartman:Im sorry,im sorry.Actually,what i say,was...(Get the saxophone) HOW IT YOU TO LIKE SUCK BALLS,MISTER GARRISON? Stanley:Holy shit,dudes... (full quote)
  And now it's time for my ping-pong ball trick. Horaay, didn't miss one! (full quote)
  I said, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY ballS MR. GARRISON? (full quote)
  1) I'm sorry I called you a stupid Jew, Kyle. You're not a Jew. 2)Yes, I am, Cartman! I am a Jew! 1) Fine then, don't accept my apology! (full quote)
  I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon. (full quote)
  Whos my cream puff? (full quote)
  Sheet Sheet, I hate Fucking Guard Dogs, sheet! (full quote)
  eat penguin shit you ass b lunker (full quote)
  1) Eat penguin shit you ass b lonker 2) Whats that? 3) Why thats when you put your legs behind you and have someone lick your ass. (full quote)
  1) Okay Children lets do a few math problems, whats 5 times 2? Yes Clyde. 2) 12 1) Lets try to call on someone who is not a complete retard 3) I think I know the answer Mr. Garison 4) (mimmicks) 3) Shut up Fat Boy! 4) Hey don't call me fat you fucking Jew! 1) Eric! Did you say the f word? 4) Jew? 3) No hes talking about Fuck, you can't say fuck in school you fucking fatass! 1) Kyle! 4) Why the fuck now? 1) Eric? 6) Dude you just said Fuck again! 1) Stanley! 7) Fook! 1) Kenny! How would you like to see that school counsler!? 4) How would you like to suck my balls. (gasps) 1) WHAT DID YOU SAY!!?? 4) Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what I said was HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARISON? 3) Holy shit dude. (full quote)
  Weeeeeeelllllllll... Kyles moms a bitch shes a big fat bitch shes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world shes a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch shes a bitch to all the boys and girls. On Monday shes a bitch on Tuesday shes a bitch and Wednesday thru Saturday shes a bitch. Then to bitchy on Sunday shes a stupid bigger mega mega biotch. Kyle mooom.. shes a big fat fuuuckin biiiiitch.. a big fat fuckin bitch kyles mooooom. YEAH! (full quote)
  Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch. She's a big fat bitch. She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. (full quote)
  you donkey sucking shit eating nazi jew lesbian catfish and your mum is gay also your anus is moistwith cum from a cat called alfred. (full quote)
35809 Damn, dude, that kid is fucked up! (full quote)
  Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew! Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word? Cartman: Jew? Kyle: No, he's talking about fuck. You can't say fuck in school, you fucking fat ass! Cartman: Why the fuck not? Mr. Garrison: Eric! Stan: Dude, you just said fuck again! Mr. Garrison: Stanley! Kenny: Fuck! Mr. Garrison: Kenny! Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck. Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor? Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls? Mr. Garrison: What did you say? Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... [picks up a megaphone] Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS? Stan: Holy shit, dude. (full quote)
  i think i know the answer mr garrison..nanananana.. shutup fat boy! aight dont call me fat u fucken jew! HUHH DID U JUST SAY THE F WORD?? Jew? no.. hes talking about fuck, u cant say fuck in school u fucken fatass.KYLE! why the fuck not? dude u just said fuck again..STANLEY! fuck? KENNY! HOW WOULD U LIKE TO GO SEE THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR? how would u like to suck my balls, mr garrison? huhh what did u say?? im sorry im sorry, actually..what i said was (gets on loudspeaker) HOW WOULD U LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS MR GARRISON? .. HOLY SHIT DUDE!! (full quote)
  saddam-i like to kill, i like to rape, yes im insane but its ok cause i can change! (full quote)
  Talk to kids around the world, it might go somethin' like this...(mock chinease, mock french, mock swedish, mock african) (Kyle's mom walks up behind Cartman) I really mean it! Kyle's mom is a big, fat @!$#ing biiiittchhhh...big ol' fat @!$#ing bitch Kyle's mooooooooooom, yeah, shhhhkah! (kids are horrified) what? (Cartman sees Sheila) Oh, @!$#. (full quote)
  What did he say?! -or- SHUT your FUCKING MOUTH CARTMAN!!!! (full quote)
  good job butters (full quote)
  DID MY MOTHER care WHEN SHE STABED ME IN THE HEART WITH A COATHANGER WHILE I WAS IN HER WHOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO SEE THE SCHOOL CONCELER?/HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS?/what DID YOU SAY ?/O what I MEANT TO SAY WAS HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS MR.GARISON? (full quote)
  terrance: oh phillip your such a pig fucker. phillip: why would you say that terrance?. terrance: well lets see first of all you fuck pigs. phillip: oh yeah. (both laugh) terrance: well fuck my ass and call me bitch. (both laugh) phillip: you shit faced cockmaster. (both laugh) terrance: now you listen here you donkey raping shit eater, (both laugh) you would fuck your uncle. phillip: you would fuck your uncle. terrance: shut your fucking face uncle fucker, your a cock sucking ass licking uncle fucker, your a uncle fucker yes its true nobody fucks uncles quite like you. phillip: shut your fucking face uncle fucker, your the one who fucked your uncle uncle fucker, you dont eat or sleep or more the lawn you just fuck your uncle all day long.(they both start farting the everyone starts farting) everyone: uncle fucker, uncle fucker, uncle fucker. phillip and terrance: shut your fucking face uncle fucker, uncle fucker, (full quote)
  Ready Ike? Kick the baby Don't kick da baby Kick the baby! (full quote)
  Yeeth, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie, who wants to touch me? I said you wants to fucking touch me! Come on gang, we gotta see the Terrance and Philip movie too! God I hate you kenny.. (full quote)
  Ahhh, Mooom!! I saw him! i saw Kenny's ghost! Oh, I knoww you miss you're little friend Erik No! He came back an now his all pissed off cuz I bet him he couldn't light his fart on fire (gets shocked) ahh I can't say pissed off? (shocked again) (full quote)
  How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm someone else? Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I gonna pretend you are? Liza Manelli? (full quote)
  1) I think I know the answer Mr.Garrison! 2) (Mocks 1)1) Shut up fat boy! 2)Don't call me fat you fucking jew! teacher) Erik! did you just say the 'F' word?! 2)(thinks for a sec) Jew? 3)No, he's talking about fuck, you can't say fuck in school you fuckin fat ass 2)why the fuck not?! 2)Dude you just said fuck again! 4)(Muffled fuck) 2)What's the big deal it doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck teacher)Erik! How would you like to go to the counselors office?! 2)How would you like to suck my balls?! teacher)What did you say?! 2)I'm sorry, what I said was (feedback) How would you like to suck my balls. Mr.Garrison? 1)Holy shit dude... (full quote)
  Well Kyle's mom's a bitch she's a big fat bitch she's the biggest bitch in the whole world she's stupid bitch if there ever was bitch she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. On monday she's a bitch on tuesday she's bitch and wednesday through saturday she's a bitch then on sunday just to be different she's super super mega mega BIATCH! Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world she's a mean ole bitch and she has stupid hair she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch she's a stupid a bitch Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's such a dirty bitch. Talk to kids around the world and it might go a lil something like this (Mock Chineese) (mock french) (mock dutch) Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world she's a mean ole bitch and she has stupid hair she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's such a dirty bitch, I really mean it Kyle's mom she's a big fat fuckin biiitch!!!! (full quote)
  Have a Rolling Rock; it's fun@ (full quote)
39009 Dog Shit Taco! (full quote)
  I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon. (full quote)
  let's fuck to celebrate (full quote)
  There's no such thing as stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask them (full quote)
  DON'T call MY MOM A BITCH, YOU FAT FUCK. (full quote)
  You're such a pig fucker,Phillip!Terrance,why would you call me a pig fucker?Well,let's see.First of all,you fuck pigs. (full quote)
  Well,fuck that,why should I have to fucking have to spell forensics?..Here you go S U C K M Y A S S,forensics. (full quote)
  Why?Because God hates me that's why.He has made my life miserable.So I call him a cock-sucking asshole,and I get grounded. (full quote)
  what do you think this is,kid?TV kiddie hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy?! (full quote)
  Cartman:I bet him he couldn't do it.I bet him a hundred dollars.Kyle:It's not your fault,Cartman.Cartman:Yeah,I know.I'm just fucking stoked I don't have to pay him.Kyle:Oh,that's real nice.He was your friend,you fat fuck! (full quote)
  Tom,the devestating impact of the Canadian duo call also be heard with their new hit song,Shut your Fucking Face,Uncle Fucker. (full quote)
  Boys,I seriously doubt that Mr.Garrison ever said,eat penguin shit,you ass pelunker. (full quote)
  what did you say i said how would you like to SUCK MY BALLS, MR GERISON (full quote)
42162 stan- do u guys know where i can find the cliterus? cartman - what is that like finding jesus or something? (full quote)
  Kyle- I think i know the answer Mr. Garrison! Cartman- Mmmm mmm mMm Mmm Kyle- Shut up, fat Boy! Cartman- Hey! Don't call me fat you F*&$ing Jew! Mr. Garrison- Eric! Did you just say the F-word? Cartman-...Jew? Kyle-No, he's talking about F&%$. You can't say F*$& in School you f*#&ing Fatass! Mr. Garrison-Kyle! Eric-Why the F*$& not? Mr. Garrison- Eric! Stan- Dude, you just said F*&$ again! Mr. Garrison- Stanly! Kenny- Mphh! Mr. Garrison- Kenny! Eric- I don't see what the big deal is! It's not like it hurts anybody! F*&$-F*$&ity-F*&$-F*$%-F&%$!! Mr. Garrison- How would you like to go see the school counsler? Eric-How would you like to suck my Balls? ::GASP:: Mr. Garrison- WHAT DID YOU SAY? Eric- O, i'm sorry, sorry...What i said was (megaphone)HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS...Mr. Garrison? Stan- ....Holy Sh*%, dude. (full quote)
  This little scrotum sucker deceived us!You are a bad man! (full quote)
42249 I can't wait for some shore leave so I can get some fuckin' poontang. (full quote)
10929 Hello, there, children! (full quote)
13284 1. FUCKING Windows '98! Get Bill Gates in here! (troops escort Bill Gates in the room) You said Windows '98 would be faster and more efficent! 2. It IS faster, over five million-(general shoots Bill Gates in the head) (full quote)
13284 (singing) 1. Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker! You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle fucker! 2. You're an uncle fucker, yes, it's true, nobody fucks uncles just like you! (full quote)
13284 1. OHMYGOD, YOU KILLED KENNY! 2. YOU BASTARDS! (full quote)
13284 1. Say that we'll have punch and pie. 2. We're not going to have punch and pie. 2. more PEOPLE'LL COME IF THEY THINK WE HAVE PUNCH AND PIE! (full quote)
  shut your fucking face uncle fucker your a cocksucking,asslicking uncle fucker! (full quote)
  (sad music playing) du du du du du... shit! (interupts music) (full quote)
ZD_Drummer90 If anything goes wrong, make the sound of a dying giraffe. (full quote)
  why did our mothers start this war, what fuck are they fighting for, when did this song become a marathon. (full quote)
  DOG SHIT TACO! (zap) take this on for size, BLOOD DRENCHED FROZEN TAMPON POPSICLE! (zap) Hey guy, i know i was mean before, but i can change. o.k. NOT! FUCK SHIT COCK BITH BUTHOLE TITTY BONER BARBARA STRISAND! (ZAAAPP) (full quote)
  Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor? Cartman: How would you like to Suck my Balls? (full quote)
  Stan: I would like 5 tickets to Terrence and Phillip's Asses of Fire please? Ticket man: No. Stan: what do you mean no? Ticket man: Terrence and Phillip's Asses of Fire has been Rated R by the MPAA you have to be Accompanied by A Parent or A Guardian. (full quote)
  Terrance:looks like we are out of luck,Phillip:cause tommorow night we a pretty fucked (full quote)
  Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go to the counselor's office? Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls? Class: (Gasps) Mr. Garrison: What did you say?! Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. (Pulls out megaphone) I said: How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison. (full quote)
Ericebac26 Yeah, but you know what? That whole part about lighting farts is bullshit; you can't do that. Yes, you can! No, you can't (full quote)