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American Pie - 1999 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
2946 Enough with this blow job shit already, I wanna get laid! (full quote)
2946 God bless the internet! (full quote)
2946 I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them! (full quote)
2946 Suck me, beautiful. (full quote)
3225 1) I should be able to talk to girls. I'm articulate. Y'know I got a 720 on my SAT verbal 2) Bullshit, there's no way! 1) I kid you not man, listen...copius...verisimilitude... (full quote)
  So, are we gonna screw soon? Cause I'm gettin kinda antsy (full quote)
  Wanna hear a story of mine? It's sort of sexual (full quote)
  And this one time, at Band Camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy (full quote)
  I think shithead really says it (full quote)
4049 1.)My friends call me Nova, as in Casanova 2.) (laughing) That's pathetic!) 1.) Geez, you don't have to laugh at me (full quote)
4049 I was used??? I WAS USED!!!!!!! cool! (full quote)
1212 Suck me, beautiful! (full quote)
4146 Jim-So whats it like third base? OZ- like warm apple pie Jim-apple pi huh, Mc Donalds or home made? (full quote)
  I was used! (full quote)
1212 Go trig boy! It's your birthday! (full quote)
1212 It's sex, not a space shuttle launch. (full quote)
  Kevin-it has to be real consentual sex, no prostitutes if thats what youre thinking finch Jim-haha busted (full quote)
1763 We'll just tell your mom we ate it all (full quote)
3225 Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. Beautiful country (full quote)
3225 1) Ariel, man she is so hot 2) She's a mermaid, dude 1) Yeah, Oz, but not when she's on land (full quote)
  women are like a fine wine...they only get better with age (full quote)
2707 You have seen me now it's time for me to see you! (full quote)
4538 1) I had no idea you'd be this good. 2) Neither did I. (full quote)
  Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years, just how I like them. (full quote)
4856 MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF! (full quote)
4860 Oz (singing): How sweet it is to be loved by you.. (points at Stifler) Stifler: Oh my God, you're gay! (full quote)
4646 I'll look for you guys in the non-fucking section. (full quote)
ProKiller You guys are goin fuck aren't you! (full quote)
uglystars 1. Oh, Finchy. Finch. 2. Oh, Stifler's Mom, whoa! (full quote)
uglystars I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed. (full quote)
uglystars You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us. (full quote)
uglystars 1. So what'd you think? 2. I thought you sounded really good. 3. I think you need your balls reattached. (full quote)
uglystars 1. I want it to be the right time, the right place... 2. It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX. (full quote)
uglystars I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day. (full quote)
uglystars 1. You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit. 2. Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work. (full quote)
uglystars 1. Separately we are flawed and vunerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny. 2. [imitating dubbed martial-arts dialogue] Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it! 1. Guys... 3. The Shaolin masters of East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one! 1. GUYS! I'm serious! (full quote)
uglystars 1. I got some scotch. 2. single malt? 1. Aged eighteen years. The way I like it. (full quote)
3605 It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX. (full quote)
5395 Doggie wants to hide the bone! - Ride me like a pony!! (full quote)
5267 what's my name bitch! (full quote)
5267 Suck me beautiful. (full quote)
5267 Spank my hairy ass! (full quote)
5267 You've never double clicked your mouse? (full quote)
5267 Enough of this blowjob bullshit I gotta get laid all ready. (full quote)
5267 Their tiger style kung-fu is strong but our dragon style will defeat it. (full quote)
5267 Well safer than a tube sock. (full quote)
5267 Well we'll just tell your mother that we ate it all. (full quote)
5267 Mom? Shitbreak? (full quote)
5481 #1. (singing) How sweet it is to be loved by you (points at #2) #2. Oh my God, you're gay. (full quote)
1980 ..is it true that he is... epuipped...? (full quote)
5624 its about time she experienced the shermanater (full quote)
1980 if i going to have sex with you tomorrow you gonna tell all your friends about me (full quote)
5553 There is a bueatiful girl... masterbating on my bed. (full quote)
2455 I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day. (full quote)
2455 Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it! (full quote)
5885 My dates a flute toting band dork. Does that answer your question ? (full quote)
5905 finch- woman are like a fine wine,they only get better with age. (full quote)
5971 So how was the pale ale? (full quote)
  [stiffler]sherman! [sherman]hey! [stiffler} what the fuck are you doing here!! (full quote)
  You guys are gonna fuck aren't ya? FUCKERS!! FUCKERS!! (full quote)
6034 Say my name bitch! (full quote)
  And there was this one time at band camp, when i shoved a flute up my pussy (full quote)
1980 you just inherrited the bible (full quote)
  Maybe i should call you a cab, or not considerind i might go to hell this time of night! (full quote)
4943 Are we gonna screw soon? I'm getting kind of antsy. (full quote)
6593 SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL (full quote)
6593 I think you need your balls reattached (full quote)
clarkins You mean you never double clicked your mouse? (full quote)
6631 Michelle:Now I have 2 condoms. Wear them both. It will de-synthesize you. I don't want you coming so damn early this time. Jim: Wh-What makes you think that I would come early? Michelle: Oh come on! I saw you on the net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You're a sure thing. Jim: Yes I am! (full quote)
6636 Yeti! I am the Yeti! (full quote)
1980 I don't know man, that sounds like a lot of work! (full quote)
6610 Oh, nice collection there, Jim. (full quote)
6728 sherman,( sherman put his hand up ) wwwhat the fuck are you doing here! (full quote)
6946 Choir chick...what the hell are you doing here? (full quote)
7106 oh god, she sure takes her vitamins (full quote)
  you smell like a fuckin yeti (full quote)
  Why dont you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrinkwrap, and fucking use them!! (full quote)
7222 I'll look for you in the no fucking section (full quote)
7222 Heres and idea how about you guys locate your dicks remove the shrink wrap and fucking use them (full quote)
  This one time at band camp. I stuck a flute in my pussy. (full quote)
  Dude! You gotta take a shit, you smell like a yeti! (full quote)
  Vicky, Jessica, good to see you! Ha Ha...BITCHES (full quote)
  whats my name? SAY MY NAME BITCH! (full quote)
  Say goodbye to Chuck Sherman the boy. I am a man. We were doing the wild thing all night. I'm exhausted. (full quote)
clarkins See, even shitbrick thinks you should do it. (full quote)
clarkins 1. How's the pale ale Stiffler? 2. Fuck you. (full quote)
7744 !)oh my god your gay!!! 2)come on sing it with me u know the words! 3)no thanks man, you've been singin that shit all week, i swear to god if u sing that shit at MSU this saturday i'll kick your ass! (full quote)
7869 Whoa! This is like the coolest thing I ever seen! I know. (full quote)
3605 Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our own sexual destiny. (full quote)
7993 Friends call me Nova, as in Casa Nova... (full quote)
7993 Sarah(girl running down stairs)-ahh! Jim-regergitation.. (full quote)
  Let me hear that high c not...aaahhh!!! (full quote)
  GOd stiffler, why you gotta be so insensitive all the time? (full quote)
5033 We're Here for the party. There's no party. Stifler great party man here have another beer. Wierd why don't you try the house down the street. (full quote)
  Somebody's goin' in there! (full quote)
7268 Mom...? Shitbreak...? (full quote)
8777 Confidence is high, repeat confidence is high. (full quote)
8777 Oh, that was a tit! That is a tit! (full quote)
8777 Illegal channels? If there's any channel that should be illegal it's that all womans channel, lifetime supply of pantyhose, or some shit. (full quote)
8777 Dude, it's gonna happen. She's a college chick! (full quote)
8777 1)Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're the one with a girlfriend and you're still stranded on third base. 2)At least I know what third base feels like. You're still a batboy. 1)A batboy? (full quote)
8777 We were doing the wild thing all night. I'm exausted. (full quote)
8777 Finch: I gotta go, it's 16 minutes round trip./Kevin: Finch, when are you gonna learn to take a dump at school?/Finch: Have you looked at the facilities in this school? (full quote)
8793 Sherman, what the fuck are you doing here? (full quote)
  STIFFLER, FUCK!, why do you have to be so insensitive?? (full quote)
Cryslin This one time at band camp... (full quote)
  Stiffler, fuck! Why do you always have to be so damn insensitive all the time? (full quote)
9487 go tri-boy, its your birthday (full quote)
  HOLY SHIT! (full quote)
10165 Michelle :SAY MY NAME... what'S MY NAME BITCH Jim: Michelle ,Michelle (full quote)
deadpoetjs 1)Dude. Chick's a MILF! 2)what the hell is that? 1)M-I-L-F! Mom I'd Like to Fuck! (full quote)
11126 Suck me.. Beautiful.. (full quote)
  Hey, you know what we should do? Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. That would be so funny! (full quote)
11283 Hit that high C! LAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! (full quote)
12426 Im going to get myself a real bitch SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL (full quote)
12756 what? whatever! (full quote)
13169 Jim: You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us. (full quote)
13501 Fuckface?! (full quote)
13501 Fuckface?! (full quote)
14205 he likes getting head, gee, what a total shocker (full quote)
14964 1) All you have to do is ask them questions and listen to what they have to say and shit. 2) I don't know, man, that sounds like a lot of work. (full quote)
  God bless the internet (full quote)
15648 MILF!!! MILF!!! MILF!!! (full quote)
  i think you need your balls reattached (full quote)
  i think you need your balls reattached (full quote)
  YOu guys are gonna fuck! You guys are gonna fuck! (full quote)
18556 1.)I am a sofisticated sex robot sent back through time, to change the world, for one lucky lady... 2.) Go get 'em tiger... 3.) I'll be back (full quote)
19039 It's not a space shuttle launch, it's sex (full quote)
  Now i'm going back to my date now, because at least she talks about something besides sex. (full quote)
19937 You know, if you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it! (full quote)
19937 I have an announcement that i would like to make! There is a gorgeous woman, masterbating, on my bed! (full quote)
19937 All you need to do is how to press a girl´s buttons! You have to give her what she´s never had! (full quote)
19937 1: We´re here for the party! 2:What party? Here´s no party! Try the house down the street! (full quote)
19937 1: If Sherman has sex before I do, I gonna be really pissed! 2: Sherman? The Sherminator? (full quote)
8273 Suck me beautiful! (full quote)
  One time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy. (full quote)
  what's my name? SAY MY NAME BITCH! (full quote)
  So shaved is the expression? (full quote)
  1.Dude that fart stinks you smell like the yeti! 2. YETI! I AM THE YETI! (full quote)
  SI KEMP WROTE THE ONE BEFORE THIS QUOTE (full quote)
21033 girl(whispering): ...i want to have sex... guy(surprised):NOW???!!! (full quote)
  fuck man, youre all deadbeat wankers, yeah you the one reading this, i fucked your mum. (full quote)
9376 You've never had an orgasm? Not even manually? (full quote)
  Sherminator - I'm a safistacated sex robot sent back through time to change the future, for one lucky lady. (full quote)
  how sweet it is 2 be loved by you!!! (full quote)
  well, youve seen me now it my turn to see you...strip!! (full quote)
  finch and stiflers mum fucking on the pool table and stifler comes in) STIFLER: mum? shitbrick? FINCH: oh hey stifler (stifler faints) (full quote)
23754 I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day. (full quote)
23754 (1)Dude that chick's a MILF! (2)what to hell is that? (1)M-I-L-F Mom I'd like to fuck! (2)Yeah dude! Yeah! (full quote)
  1/oz! 2/ hey you called me oz 1/ Well yeah, i mean that's what your friends call you and i am your friend and even your...girlfriend (full quote)
  kevin : no longer will out penises remain flacid and unused (full quote)
  kevin : no longer will out penises remain flacid and unused (full quote)
26923 wot do u think hes gonna drive up there for.....milk and cookies?? (full quote)
  (during sex) STIFLER'S MOM: Oh Finchy, oh Finch! FINCH: Stifler's mom, oh Stifler's mom! (full quote)
  all you have to do is ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit. i dont know dude, that sounds like a lot of work. (full quote)
  It almost looks like a tropical plant or something. . . (full quote)
  you guys are gunna fuck arent u?? fuckers fuckers fuckers fuckers!!! (full quote)
  you guys are gunna fuck arent u?? fuckers fuckers fuckers fuckers!!! (full quote)
  Stifler: They sucked ass! Choir chick! what the hell are you doing here?! Heather: Well, I was going to ask Chris to the prom, so do you want to go? Oz: Yeah, that would be great. Stifler: Just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo. Oz: Stifler! Why do gotta to be so insensitive all the time? Sifler: what?! whatever. (full quote)
  Stifler: They sucked ass! Choir chick! what the hell are you doing here?! Heather: Well, I was going to ask Chris to the prom, so do you want to go? Oz: Yeah, that would be great. Stifler: Just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo. Oz: Stifler! Why do gotta to be so insensitive all the time? Stifler: what?! whatever. (full quote)
  (Stifler looking at Jim stripping on the Internet): What the fuck is this? (to his brother, who's dancing like Jim): Chill out man! (full quote)
1ajas One time at band camp... (full quote)
1ajas God bless the internet. (full quote)
1ajas I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them! (full quote)
1ajas I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed. (full quote)
30585 suck me beautiful!! (full quote)
  Sherman!!.... hhh what the fuck are you doing here? (full quote)
  Vicky! Jessica! Great to see you, glad you could make it... Haha *Bitches!* (full quote)
  'I don't think he's comin' back.' (full quote)
  1: I don't wanna see any of you thinking you're gonna score. You don't score, till you score. 2: TILL YOU score! 1: This game marks the culmination of the past four years! 2: CULMINATION! (full quote)
  mmm... she reads the articles... (full quote)
  Jim: Holy shit. Kev/Finch. Hoooly shit. Blink182: Hoooooly Shit. (full quote)
32251 Jim's Dad: Jim, I want to talk about masturbation. I just want you to know that it is a perfectly normal, uh, thing. I have have admit, I did a fair amount of, masturbating, when i was a little younger, I used to call it stroking the salami. You know pounding the old pudding. I never did it with baked goods. But you know your Uncle Mort? He pets the old-eyed-snake five or six times a day. You see it's like practice for the big game. You see? And it's like banging a tennis ball against the brick wall. Which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game. What you want is a partner to return the ball. Do you want a partner? Jim: Yeah. Yeah, yeah I want a partner. Jim's Dad: You want a partner? Jim: Yes. Jim's Dad: Good. Good. (full quote)
32251 Jim: What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the internet. Stifler: Yeah. Kevin: You can do that? Jim: No, I cannot do that to her. Stifler: Man, I you don't have the guts to photograph a naked chick in your house, how the hell are you ever gonna sleep with one? Finch: I don't like the kid, but he's got a point Jim. Stifler: See, even shit-brick knows you should do it! (full quote)
32251 Nadia: So, um, shaved is the expession? Jim: Holy shit. Finch: Holy shit! Band group: Holy shit! Enthusiastic Guy: H-holy shit! (full quote)
32251 Why is this door locked? Mom where's-. Mom? Sh-shit brick?! (full quote)
32251 Kevin: No prostitutes, if that's what your thinking, Finch! Jim: Busted. (full quote)
32251 You coming to the party tonight Ozzy? You fuck face! (full quote)
32251 Stifler: Sherman! Sherman: Hey! Stifler: what the fuck are you doing here?! (full quote)
  How are you this evening ? I am 3 sheets to the wind mam. Oh I am so happy for you. (full quote)
  He just didn't pull out the chair? Yes he pulled out the chair. Stifler- What the fuck is this? Bad Jim, bad! Sit, this is gotten a hole hell of a lot better. (full quote)
  Nadia stripping: Finch- oh, oh there that goes. oh nice collection there Jimbo! she reads the articles. (full quote)
  opening scene: oh! doggie wants to hide the bone, do a little bone smuggling. Man would you shut up!! (full quote)
Deansgirl Vicky- Is this translation right, go home bird teacher I've had enough? (full quote)
  michelle okay b4 we start whats my name jim uhhhhh uh michelle say my name bitch!! jim michelle michelle (full quote)
  shitbreak (full quote)
33899 You've never double-clicked your mouse? (full quote)
  just relax, take it slow, and let the good times roll (full quote)
  Now, Im gonna go talk to that geek over there. At least she has other things to talk about besides sex. (full quote)
  I've never even had sex and I hate it. I HATE SEX!! (full quote)
33944 Stifler's mom!!!!!! (full quote)
  You know what? I am a band geek. I just never joined the band. (full quote)
  And this one time at band camp i stuck a flute up my pussy (full quote)
  what's my name? Say my Name Bitch! (full quote)
38324 viky: hey kevin, Kevin: what? Vicky: I want to have sex, Kevin: Now? Vicky: Prom (full quote)
  Go Over and Ask If She Needs An Extra Hand (full quote)
23438 Stifler: I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking use them! (full quote)
23438 Oz: Friends call me Nova as in Casanova. Girl: That's pathetic! (full quote)
23438 Oz: Suck me beautiful! (full quote)
23438 Jim: I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed. (full quote)
23438 Vicky: I want it to be the right time, the right place. Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's sex. (full quote)
23438 Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like? Kevin: You want to take this one? Oz: Like warm apple pie. Jim: Yeah? Oz: Yeah. Jim: Apple pie, huh? Oz: Uh huh. Jim: McDonald's or homemade? (full quote)
23438 Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it. (full quote)
23438 Stifler: I'll see you guys tonight, in the 'No Fucking Section', right? (full quote)
23438 Vicky: And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that's okay cause' he's a guy, right? Jessica: He got a dick, he's a guy (full quote)
23438 Jessica: You've never had an orgasm? Not even manually? Vicky: I've never tried it. Jessica: You've never double-clicked your mouse? (full quote)
23438 Michelle: There was this one time, at band camp, when I stuck a flute up my pussy. (full quote)
23438 Michelle:There was this one time, at band camp, and I stuck a flute up my pussy. (full quote)
41529 This one time, at band camp.....i stuck a flute up my pussy. -Spits drink everywhere- what you think I dont know how to get myself off? (full quote)
  The shaolin masters from east and west must fight, and find out who's number 1 (full quote)
  mr finch-are you trying to seduce me? (full quote)
48652 She's gone! Oh my God! She used me. I was used. I was used! cool! (full quote)
benandtiff06 Suck me, beautiful!! (full quote)