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Shanghai Noon - 2000 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
4139 what happened to my horsey? Is he dead? No John, but we are. (full quote)
265 JOhn Wayne? That's a terrible cowboy name! (full quote)
  No, no, you said wet shirt won't break not piss shirt bend bars. (full quote)
4066 I'll help you rescue Princess Pee Pee. (full quote)
  uno mas? (full quote)
5520 No you said wet shirt don't break, not piss shirt bend bar! (full quote)
5110 I may not know karate, but I know crazy. (full quote)
5110 You've lost your 'winging it' privileges! (full quote)
5110 We're not pinatas, we're men! (full quote)
5110 Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my cowboy name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp. (full quote)
5110 1: He took the gold. 2: Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you. (full quote)
5110 How about that? It's a Mexican standoff. only we ain't got no Mexicans. (full quote)
5110 1: Ooooh... who's the pretty lady? 2: That's my wife! 1: How long you been in this country? 2: Four days. 1: Nice work. (full quote)
5110 1: Why don't I pretend I'm sick, and then you can attack them when they come in? 2: Oh, does the sick prisoner routine still work in China? 'Cause here, it's been done to death. (full quote)
5110 Don't worry, it could be worse -- he could be a white guy. (full quote)
5110 Father, is this my husband-to-be? He's a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn't he marry him? (full quote)
5110 Shut up, Roy. You talk too much. (full quote)
5110 Holy crap, vultures are eating my head! (full quote)
5697 The sun may rise where we come from, but this is where it sets. (full quote)
5882 This your first time to see an outlaw?...yeah?...you know the last time we robbed this train we were naked. (full quote)
  Shainghai kid: no talk.... just dig ROY: HEY HHHHEEEEEEYYYYY (full quote)
  now look at that: we gots us a mexican standup: cept we aint gots no mexicans (full quote)
6106 1: Ok, ive calculated th speed of the train with the speed of our horses. See we will meet the train here--- 2: Is that the train? 1:Alright were just gonna wing it, just like we always do! (full quote)
6106 1: My duty is to the emperor. 2: This emporer; must be some guy. 1: He is only 12 2: your telling me your here willing to die for someone whose balls havent even dropped yet. (full quote)
4646 I don't no kaa-ra-tee but I do know kaaaaaaa-razy and I will use it. (full quote)
  1: My duty is to the emporer. 2: Geez this emporer; must be some guy! 1: Hes only 12. 2: Are you saying your sitting here with a noose around your neck ready to die for someone whos balls havent evendropped yet! (full quote)
6106 1: Alright guys; the trains about to blow, get ready to reak the fruits of our labor (KABOOM) 2: Uh Roy, he just blew the shit out of our fruits! (full quote)
6106 First time seein a cowboy? Scared, kinda excited all rolled into one? (points to gun) Yep... it's got my initials right there. Y'know last time we robbed this train we were all naked because it was to hot out! (full quote)
3225 Give him the peace pipe, maybe that will shut him up (full quote)
3225 1) Did you really dig out with those chopsticks 2) You better believe it (full quote)
5150a Chippe-Chawa's nobility. And you have it. In Spades (full quote)
5150a Stop. I'm not gonna let you cheapen it. A duel's a sacred thing. It's what separates us from the animals. (full quote)
5150a a) Why don't you turn and face me like a man? b) Why you do it your way and I'll do it mine. (full quote)
5150a Well, he's not really my friend...I mean, he's a chinaman. (full quote)
  Now he's saying it slower, like that will help any. (full quote)
  John Wayne? That's a terrible cowboy name. That's not going to work. And neither is the ponytail. (full quote)
  A 30,000 year old civilization and thats the best you could come up with? Shame on you! shame on you! (full quote)
  Well,Looks like we've got us a Mexican Stand-off. 'Cept we ain't got no Mexicans! (full quote)
  what is this? The Orient-Express? (full quote)
  what is this? The Orient-Express? (full quote)
  Chang: YOU! You give me bad directions!! Roy: Noooo.. I gave you WRONG directions…. You want your chopsticks back?? (full quote)
  You've almost killed me like 17 times already! (3 shots are heard) 18...19...20...You're on fire today! (full quote)
  They dont look like any injins i ever seen Jededi. Thats because they ain't injins woman, there Jews! (full quote)
  The Marshall: Hmm... mighty impressive hardware you're packin'. Roy:Get your eyes off my package you twisted son of a bitch. (full quote)
  Keep going with the chinese. I think that's workin'. I think they're just about to let ya out. (full quote)
  Roy: No, no, no, no, no. Grab this and grab that. Work your magic right here. Chon: (Shakes his head) Too dry. Roy: What... juice it up! Juice it up! Go! Chon: I can't! No more! Roy: (Grabs the shirt and throws it on the ground) Damn it! Come on out little Roy. Work your magic. Chon: Hurry up. Roy: I'm tryin', I'm tryin'. Chon: (Looks around to see if everything is coming along alright) Roy: STOP! DON'T LOOK AT ME! Chon: Relax! Relax... it'll come. Roy: Thanks... that helps. (full quote)
  Chon: Hey Roy... it's you! Roy: Ho-ly SHIT! I'm a wanted man! Look at this! 500 bucks! That's a lot of money! Chon: Lemme see! Nice picture. Roy: Careful, careful! Wow... look at this. You know what this means... this'll drive the girls crazy! Chon: Really?!?! Roy: Yes! Really! Let's get a couple more of these! Chon: I'm a wanted man too! Roy: What? Chon: This! Roy: OH COME ON! That's not right! Chon: I know. I'm not from Shanghai! Roy: Noo! A thousand dollars for a side- kick?!?! You gotta be kidding me! Chon: Be careful! Roy: The justice system is all screwed up... (full quote)
  Roy: Come on. Let's get going. Chon: No! I don't want to ride with you! Roy: Come on Chon! Chon: No! NO! Roy: DAMN you're a mean drunk! (full quote)
  Roy: Chon... get your hand off me. Chon: One more game? Roy: No... no more drinking. That's it. Chon: Uno mass? Roy: No mass, Chon, no mass. (full quote)
  Are you nervous? It's ok to be nervous when you're new. I'll keep my eye on you. (full quote)
  -Mighty fine package you're carrying here. -Why don't you get your eyes off my package you twisted son of a bitch. (full quote)
  1. They don't look like no injuns I ever seen Jedediah. 2. Thats cuz their not injuns, woman.....they're JEWS! (full quote)
  looks like we got us a mexican stand off. only we ain't got us no mexicans (full quote)
7643 1.My name is Chon Whayn. 2.Chon Whayn? Thats a terrible cowboy name! (full quote)
CarmiCrowe Ahh....the vultures are eating my head. (full quote)
10471 You said 'wet-shirt-don't-bend' not 'piss-shirt-bend-bars!' (full quote)
11264 $1,000 for a side kick? That's just not right....justice system is all screwed up...and shanghai kid thats a really cool nickname.-Roy (full quote)
Northboarder juice it up... (full quote)
12470 Why don't you quit lookin' at my package you twisted son of a bitch? (full quote)
13204 Ask me if I give a shit! (full quote)
13204 Roy, we always figured you for a dumbshit. (full quote)
13204 UNO MAS (bubbles coming out of his mouth) (full quote)
13284 1.(slowly) Where-is-Carson-City? 2.(in another language) Now he's sayin it slower, that's really gonna help. 3.(in another language) Pass him the peace pipe, maybe that'll shut him up. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Roy O'Bannon. #2- My name is Chon Wang. #1- John Wayne!? #2 Chon Wang. #1- That's a terrible cowboy name. #2- Why? #1- No, come on that's not going to work...that's horrible and so is the ponytail. (full quote)
27803 No mas, Chon...no mas. (full quote)
30083 *Roy shoots and misses* 2: How do you survive out here?? Roy:what is that supposed to mean? These aren't my guns. (full quote)
30083 1. My name is Chon Wayn. 2. John Wayne? 1. Chon Wayn. 2. That's a terrible cowboy name. (full quote)
30083 This is something about your husband, and this is nothing against him, he comes from a very male-dominated society. (full quote)
30083 So what, with the wet shirt...you bend the bars. Look don't waste my time with that. A 2000 year old civilization and thats the best you can come up with? Shame on you. (full quote)
41892 That Which you have promised you must perform. (full quote)
41892 1)You Gave me bad directions. 2)No I gave you wrong directions. (full quote)
41892 1)They don't look like any Indians i've ever seen Jedadiah. 2)That's because they're not Idians woman, they're Jews. (full quote)
41892 1)My name is Chon Wang. 2)John Wayne? 1)Chon Wang. 2)That's a terrible name for a cowboy. (full quote)
41892 All In Native Talk: Don't worry it could be worse, he could be a white man. (full quote)
41892 1)Get ready to reep the fruits of our Labour. (BOOM) 2)Roy you just blew the hell out of our fruit. (full quote)
41892 1)See i told you. 2)No you said Wet Shirt Don't Break not Piss Shirt Bend Bar. (full quote)
41892 (money is fallin from the roof of Building:) Thank you God. (full quote)