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Zoolander - 2001 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  There has got to be more to life than just being really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking. (full quote)
  They were like brothers to me, not like real brothers, but brothers in the way black people say it. (full quote)
  The zoolander house for kids who carnt read good. how r they sposed to read when they carnt fit in the building (full quote)
  SNAP! (full quote)
  If I have a day off I'll spend four to nine hours in front of the mirror, trying just a tilt of the head or a furrow of my eyelash. I mean my body, my face are my tools. (full quote)
7160 If I have a day off I'll spend four to nine hours in front of the mirror, trying just a tilt of the head or a furrow of my eyelash. I mean my body, my face are my tools. (full quote)
  Moisture is the essence of wetness. Wetness is the essence of beauty. (full quote)
  Derek: You think you're too cool for school but I got a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite. You aren't. Hansel: Who you trying to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco? Derek: Hey I got a wacky idea. What say we settle this on the runway, Hand Solo? Hansel does some jedi karate moves with his hands, adding the sound effects himself. Derek (whispers): Stop it. Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk off, BOO Lander? Billy Zane: Don't do this, Derek. Hansel: Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude. He's trying to help you out. Derek: Oh yeah, that's a walk off challenge my friend. Hansel busts out the scooter. Hansel: Ten minutes, old Member's Only warehouse. You ought to remember that, you're a dinosaur. Come on, let's go. Open up. Zane: I've heard some bad stories about this guy, man, he's limber. Too Limber. Derek: Put a cork in it, Zane. (full quote)
8487 There has got to be more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking. (full quote)
8487 I was at the Day spa. D-A-I-Y-E. (full quote)
  The files are IN the computer? (full quote)
  I can Derelick my own balls, thank you! (full quote)
  That one moment when she was sandwhiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the maori tribesman... (full quote)
12447 How can the children learn to read, when they can't even fit inside the building! *smack* (full quote)
  That Hansel is soo hot right now! (full quote)
  Orange Mocha Frappachino! (full quote)
  Mugatu: I present to you the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Would Like To Do Other Things Good Zoolander: Is this a center for ants? Mugatu: What? Zoolander: How can the children read when they cant even fit inside the building? (full quote)
8487 1) .......after awhile, I became bulimic. 2) You could read minds? (full quote)
13677 Can I call you Matil? (full quote)
13677 For Serious! (full quote)
10047 1)You know what would really help you sort out your problems? 2)What? 1,3,and4)Orange mocha frappachinos! (full quote)
13730 Obey my dog! (full quote)
13730 I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS!!! (full quote)
14056 1)god i hate that hansel 2)yea and the way he brushes his hair 3)or like doesn't! hahahahaha! i mean like come on hasn't he ever heard of styling gel? 2)Earth to meekus, hes a male model, of course hes heard of styling gel 3)Earth to brent, it was a joke, ok? 2)Earth to meekus, i knew it was a joke 3)Earth to brent, im not so sure about that because you were all like hes a male model of course hes heard of styling gel LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A JOKE!hahahahahahaha 4)stop it guys, dont you ever think theres more to life then being really really really ridiculously good-looking? like helping people 1)what people 4)i dont know.....people who need help (full quote)
14099 WHOOOOO, you must like service yourself twenty times a day. (full quote)
14145 Well I guess I'd have to answer your question with another question...How many Abodiginals do you see modeling? (full quote)
14145 Hansel: Sting...Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music that he's made over the years, I don't really listen to, but I respect the fact that he's making it. (full quote)
14145 If there's anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiselled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we, too, can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. (full quote)
14145 Zoolander: Oh. I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugugalizer I am. Matilda: A what? Zoolander: A eugugalizer-one who speaks at funerals, or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugugoly is? (full quote)
14145 Matilda: When I was in 7th grade I was the fat kid in my class. Zoolander: Ewwwwwwwwwwwww! (full quote)
14353 (derek)who am I?(reflection)I dont know.(derek)I guess i have a lot of things to ponder. (hansel)the results are in amigo! whats left to ponder?!...nice comeback! (full quote)
14418 For a second there I thought someone was going to be reading out eugugoly! (full quote)
14442 Maury: Derek, what do you do when you fall off the horse? You get back on! That's what this business is all about! Derek: Sorry, Maury. But I'm not a gymnast. (full quote)
14740 what IS this? A CENTER FOR ANTS??? (full quote)
  Mugatu: I Present to you, The Derek Zoolander House for Children Who Can't Read Good. Zoolander: WHAT IS THIS A CENTER FOR ANTS???!!! *throws on ground* Zoolander: How are the children supposed to read if they can't even fit in the building?? It has to be at least... 3 times bigger than this. Mugatu: .... your right! (full quote)
14345 It's the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read good and For Other good Things Too. (full quote)
14345 How can the children learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?! (full quote)
14345 They're break dance fighting. (full quote)
14345 1)When I was in the 7th grade, I was the fat kid in class. after a while I became...bulimic. 2)You could read minds?!! (full quote)
  mugatu: Damnit, it's Hansel! he is SO hot right now... (full quote)
  Matilda- I think Katinka wants to kill you Derek- good! I deserve to die if I cant even beat ha-suck-ass in a walk off Matilda- Come on Derek the guy had to miraculousy pull underware out off his butt just to beat you. Derek- But all he had to do was turn left. Matilda- What? Derek- Im not an Ambi-turner. I cant turn left. (full quote)
  Derek- Who am I? (phone rings) Maury-Hello Derek, are you hearing me? Derek- God? (full quote)
  be still im working here, im working OOWWWWW im sorry did my pin get in the way of ur ass. do me a favor and lose 5 pounds immediatly or get out of my building like now.... now I'M SO TIRED no todd not now (full quote)
  cool story Hansel! (full quote)
  Hansel: Why don't you dere-lict my balls?! Derek: No thanks, I can dere-lict my own balls! (full quote)
  Lee Harvey Oswald was not a male model... God damn right he wasn't, but those two lookers who capped Kennedy from the grassy knoll sure as shit were. (full quote)
  Yea I capice now if I could only ca-piss.... (full quote)
  Zoolander: Hansel-out is going to get his Hansel-ass handed to him on a platter... with french fried potatoes. (full quote)
  Hansel: Do I no what product im modeling - no? Do i know what I'm doing today? No! But i give it my all! (full quote)
  At the show, they'll be looking for us. But, they won't be looking for.. not us. (full quote)
  just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn't mean we too can't not die in a freak gas-fight accident. (full quote)
  1) I became bulimic 2) You can read minds? (full quote)
  Matilda: When did you realize that you wnated to be a male supermodel? Derek: I geuss it would have to be the first time i went through the first grade. I was eating my cereal one day when I saw my reflection in the sppon and I thought to myself, wow, you are really, really good-looking. And then I wondered if i could do that for a living. Matilda: Do what? Derek: Be professionally good-looking. (full quote)
  So I was freeclimbing Mt Vesuvius, when I suddenly lost my grip, so I'm falling and falling, and then I start to think. Hey, havent you been smoking peote for the last six days, and isnt it a possibility that this is all in your head? And it turned out I was right. I've never even been to Mt Vesuvius. (full quote)
  Listen to your friend Billy Zane (full quote)
  Merman father...merman. (full quote)
  uhuh! uhuh! I think I got the black lung pops. (full quote)
  hansel: hello...hello derek: snap! (full quote)
  i guess you can derelick my ball capitan (full quote)
  Zoolander:helo? Ballstein:hey derek Zoolander:God? Ballstein: what the shit are you talking about its me Muary (full quote)
  You cant just come into someone's loft, wanting sex and then changing your mind, and telling them they've been at a day spa for a week. (full quote)
  hello derek, im little cletis, im here to tell you the truth about child labor laws, they're silly and out-dated, back in the good 'ol days kids as young as 5 could work as they pleased from textile factories to steel mills, but nowadays, the age-old right of kids to work is under attack, from india to the phillipines, and south america too. But you can help these children derek...BY KILLING THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!!!!!!!! Malaysian Prime Minister- bad, Karate- good, Malaysian Prime Minister-Bad!!!!!!! (full quote)
  you know i get farty and bloaty with a foamy latte! (full quote)
  Pop 'em and lock 'em, fool! (full quote)
  I invented the piano key neck tie, what did u invent?! NOTHING!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  Morrie: Were goin to do what we do when we fall off a horse Derek: ????? Morrie: Get back on it Derek: thanks a lot Morrie, but im a male model, not a gymnist (full quote)
  Dereck:sooo...why male modelin? hand model:r u serious i just told u that a moment ago... Dereck: right (full quote)
  HEY MUGATU! SCREW YOU AND your LITTLE DOG TOO!!! (full quote)
  Derek: (looking up at stars) 'Who am i?' (phone rings, it's maury) Maury: Hello? Derek are you hearing me? Derek: GOD?! Maury: GOD?!?! what the shit are you talking about it's me, maury. i hope you're done touching your roots cuz mugatu is making you an offer you won't believe! You gotta get your tookers back here. (full quote)
  i present u with....... the derek zoolander center for kids who cannt read good and want to learn to do other stuff good to!-wat is this a center for ants, how r kids supposed to learn to read if they cannt even fit inside the building (full quote)
  Dad: I'm too ashamed of my son that's become a mermaid. Zoolander: Merman! *cough cough* Merman! (full quote)
  Screw you and your little dog too!!!! (full quote)
  Prancing around up there with your weiner hanging out!!!! (full quote)
  Hansel, he's so hot right now, Hansel (full quote)
  Maury ballstein, balls Models (full quote)
  Maury ballstein, balls Models (full quote)
  It's called a DAY SPA! D-A-I-Y-E. day! (full quote)
  I'm Dougie...I'm Dougie!!!!! (full quote)
  Derek: Hello? Person on phone: Derek! Derek: God? Person on phone: What the shit are you talkin about! It's me, Maury! (full quote)
  1) Derelicte, dereclicte my balls 2)i can derelicte my own balls (full quote)
  I think I've got the black lung, Pop (full quote)
  sting's another one of my heros.i dont really listen to his music, but the fact that hes making it...i respect that. (full quote)
  (after 1 day working in the mines) *cough cough* I thinks I gots the black lung pops.. *cough cough* (full quote)
  Derek (I wanted to make you proud of my pop.) (How? By dressin up in tights with ya weinna hang'n out?) (full quote)
  Hi! My name is little Cleatus!! (full quote)
  It's mer-man, father! MerMAN! (full quote)
  Hansel: That's Bullshit. listen up everyone... Mugatu's a dick! (full quote)
  (in a squeaky tone) Cough, cough. I think I'm coming down with the Black Lung, pop. (full quote)
  (In a squeaky tone) Cough, cough. I think I'm coming down with the Black Lung, pop. (full quote)
  Me and my friends have been too busy sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Barts with spider monkeys for the past two weeks. Tripping on acid changed our whole perspective on shit. (full quote)
4391 Glad you could join us K-Mart. (full quote)
12953 1) i was bulemic. 2) you can read minds? (full quote)
14345 It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now! They're break dance fighting. (full quote)
14345 Just because we're really really really really good looking doesn't mean we can't die in some freak gas fight accident. (full quote)
14345 Rufus, Brint, and Meecus were like brothers to me. And I don't mean like they were my real brothers, I mean like the way black people say. (full quote)
14345 Concentrate, Derilicte...Don't be distracted by the beautiful celeberties...do what you were trained to do...AND KILL THE MALYAIAN PRIME MINISTER!!! (full quote)
14345 1)Derek? Derek! Are you there? 2)God? 1)God?! what the shit are you talking about? It's me, Maury (full quote)
14345 1)You're more dead to me than your dead mother. Thank God she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid! 2)MerMAN! (full quote)
14345 Isn't there more to life than being really really really really really really good looking? (full quote)
14345 1)So why do you hate models, Matilda? 2)The truth? I think they're vain...stupid...and totally self centered. 3)I totally agree with you. But what do you think about MALE models? (full quote)
14345 1)When I was in seventh grade...I was the fat kid in my class. 2)EW! (full quote)
14345 Um, hello! Earth to Matilda! I was at a DAY spa! D-A-I-Y-E! (full quote)
14345 1)Besides, male models don't think for themselves. They just do what they're told. 2)That's not true! 1)Yes it is, Derek! 2)Okay. (full quote)
14345 1)Derek! You did it! 2)I know! I turned left! 1)Yyyyeah that, and you saved the Prime Minister! 2)Huh? Oh yeah. (full quote)
14345 1)Derek Zoolander? Are you threatened at all by Hansel? 2)Not as much as I'm threatened by GRETEL! Hey, lady, put that in your article. I want people to know how funny I am. (full quote)
14345 1)So, I became... 2)What? 1)Bulimic. 3)You could read minds?!! (stares at him) 1)It's when you throw up after every meal! 3)Hey, that's no big deal, I mean I throw up before lots of meals. 2)Yeah, me too. It's a great way to loose pounds before a show. 1)But you guys don't get it. It's a disease! (full quote)
14345 Oh, I'm sorry! Did my pin get in the way of your ASS! (full quote)
14345 1)I give you the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good. 2)What is this?! (throws it down) A center for ANTS?!! 1)What? 2)How can we expect to teach children to read if they can't even fit inside the building?! We need to make it at least...3 times bigger than this! (full quote)
15558 I thought someone would be reading our eugoogly. (full quote)
16020 1. Don't you know I get all farty and bloated from a foamy latte??! 2. M-My mistake, Jacobeim. 1. your mistake, indeed! (full quote)
16020 1. I'm not an ambi-turner. I can't turn left. It's a problem I've had since I was a baby. 2. Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure there are lots of people who can't ... who can't ... I mean, there's got to be SOME people out there, like you, who can't turn ... turn left. (full quote)
17868 I invented the piano key neck tie! I INVENTED IT! what have you done Derek? Nothing! NOTHING! (full quote)
18304 It's a walk-off!! (full quote)
18304 I'm just a regular kid! hahahahahahaha (full quote)
18531 Orange Mocha Frapuccino! (full quote)
18575 Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty! (full quote)
18605 what is this? A center for ants!! How can we be expected to teach the children to read if they can't even fit into the building? It needs to be at least...3 TIMES this size! (full quote)
19327 1)God I can't stand that Hansel! Like, the way he combs his hair? 2)Or like, doesn't. 3)It's like, ex-squeeze-me have you ever heard of styling gel?? 2)Duh, of course he's heard of styling gel...he's a male model. 3) Uh, earth to Brint I was making a joke! 2)Uh, earth to Meekus, duh, OK...i knew that! 3)Earth to Brint, I'm not so sure you did cause you were all like, 'well i'm sure he's heard of styling gel' LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A JOKE!! (full quote)
19327 1)your dead to me boy. your more dead to me....than your dead mother. I just thank the Lord that she didn't have to live to see you dressed as a mermaid. 2) Mer-man!!! MER-MAN!! (full quote)
19422 I have thirty years of files here to bring you down.....Where'd all the files go? (full quote)
  merman, merman! (full quote)
  But why male models?? (full quote)
  Maury: what happens when you fall off a horse Derek? Derek: i dunno. Maury: you get back up! Derek: sorry maury, i'm not a gymnist (full quote)
  Maury: what happens when you fall off a horse Derek? Derek: i dunno. Maury: you get back up! Derek: sorry maury, i'm not a gymnist (full quote)
  A:cool story, Hansel B:Thanks Olaf (full quote)
  Well, there a couple of little butterflies in my basket but I think I am doing ok. (full quote)
  Reporter: Derek, Derek, are you worried about Hansel? Derek: Ah, not as much as I am worried about Gretel. (full quote)
  Hansel: Thats just the way I live my life. I grip it and I rip it. (full quote)
  I wasn't like every other kid that dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in, uh, in what bark was made out of on a tree. (full quote)
  I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I am selling? No. Do I know what I am doing today? No. But I am here and I am going to give it my best shot. (full quote)
  The calendar was great because it gave people a chance to see a side of my versatility. The original Greek word for model means miss-shapen ball of clay, and I try to think about that every time I get in front of the camera. (full quote)
  Sorry lady. Not Interested. Now if you will excuse me, I have an after funeral party to attend. (full quote)
  Damn it Derek, I am a coal miner, not a professional Film and Television actor. (full quote)
  With what your male modelling? Prancing around in your underwear with your wiener hanging out for everyone to see? your dead to me boy. You're more dead to me, than your dead mother. I just thank the lord that she didn't ever live to see her son as a mermaid. (full quote)
  A week! What are you having, a wack attack? I only saw you this afternoon dumb dumb. (full quote)
  Hansel: All right. Who is going to call this sucker? David Bowie: If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service. Now this be a straight walk off, old school rules. First model walks, the second model duplicates and then elaborates. Ok boys, lets go to work. (full quote)
  Obey my dog (full quote)
  Wasadealio yo? (full quote)
  cool story Hansel (full quote)
  so what is a while......like 8 days? (full quote)
  Its not like were actually up in a control tower trying to contact outer space aliens or anything. Hello!! Hellloo!! (full quote)
  That's not enough time. It takes months to train an operative. what about Fabio? Too smart. This is a rush job. He's got to be extremely dim-witted. You know the profile,Jacobim. A beautiful, self-absorbed...simpleton who can be manipulated and molded like Jell-O. Or cookie dough. Or Play-Doh. Any kind of dough (full quote)
  DEREK I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET KATINKA INGA BAGOVINA NAAAAAH NAAAAAH (full quote)
  I'm an actor/model...but not the other way around (full quote)
  (1)I used to be .......boulimic (2)You can read minds? (full quote)
  (1)I used to be .......boulimic (2)You can read minds? (full quote)
  Yo Derek! When ya gonna drop Magnum on us buddy? No can do, billy. You gotta tame the beast before you let it outta the cage. (full quote)
  Derek: I'm going to do something meaningful with my life, like help people Brint: Ughhh Derek what people? Derek: I don't know. People who need help! (full quote)
  Enough! now we're just making up words! (full quote)
  look, i gotta go pee, but i'd really like to continue talking abouthis conversation when i get back. (full quote)
  Chess would have to be one of my favorite games...*Derek moves pieces around a lot and slams his hand on the timer* TOUCHdown!! If i was a chess piece i think that i would be the cow. (full quote)
  Hansel, he's so hot right now! you know Todd. (full quote)
  Poor me a steaming hot cup of Hansel! (full quote)
  96% of the earth is water. The other half is wheat. Think about it. No you think about it! (full quote)
  hansel, so hot right now, hansel (full quote)
  why you acting so messed up towards me? I don't know, why you acting so meesed up towards me? (full quote)
  Hansel: Yo! Mugatu's a dick! (full quote)
  what Is This?!?! A center for ANTS?? The center has to be atleast . . . THREE times this size (full quote)
  I think I'm getting the black lung pop, those mines aren't very well ventilated. (full quote)
  I think that i'm getting the black lung Pop, It's not very well ventilated down there. (full quote)
  C'mon, give me a little pee-pee. - Maury ballstein (full quote)
  Derek: But why male models? Hand-Model: Because male models do what their told. Derek: That is not true! Hand-Model: Yes it is Derek. Derek: Ok. ~1 minute later~ Derek: But why male models? Hand-Model: Are you...are you serious? I just told you that, like a second ago. (full quote)
  Obey my dog! (full quote)
  They were like brothers to me...and when I say brother I mean it in the way that black people mean it. I think it has more meaning that way. (full quote)
  Haaappy, Haaappy, Haaappy, Haaahaaahaaahaaa...Hi there Derek, I'm little Cletus. I'm just an ordinary girl who wants to talk to you about the age old tradition of child labor laws ok? you see, back in the good old days kids as young as 5 could work as the pleased in textile mills and coal mines yippeee hooray!!! (full quote)
  Hansel: Listen to your boy Billy Zane, he's a cool dude. (full quote)
  OBEY MY DOG!! (full quote)
  HAAYY MAURICE!! (full quote)
  Matilda: When did you first realize that you were good looking? Derek: Well, when I was in the second grade for the first time, i saw my reflection in a spoon and said, gee Derek, you're ridiculously good looking, i wonder if i can do that for a career? Matilda: Do what for a career? Derek: Be professionaly good looking (full quote)
  mugatu: the forbidden fruit must be tasted (full quote)
  as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, you must become, DERELICTE! (full quote)
  No Todd, not now! (full quote)
  O SNAP! (full quote)
  Mugatu-Todd, are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte Todd-My mistake Jacobim Jacobim-your mistake indeed (full quote)
  but if I were you and you were me wouldn't I still be me? (full quote)
  but if I were you and you were me wouldn't I still be me? (full quote)
  (Hansel runs into Derek)Hansel:Sorry Bra! Derek: Don't call me your bra! I'm not your under garments! (full quote)
  When did you know that you wanted to become a male model? Well, it must have been the first time i went through the second grade, I caught my reflection in a spoon when i was eating my cereal and i remember thinking. Wow you're ridiculously good looking. Y dont you do that for a living? Do What? Be profesionally good looking. (full quote)
  That Hansel guy walks around like he's so kool. I know right. And the way he combs his hair! Or like doesnt! It's like X-squeeze-me but, has he ever heard of styling gel? Yea, I thinks hes heard of styling gel, he's a male model. I was makin' a joke. Duh, ok. I knew that. No you were all like i think hes heard of styling gel like you DIDNT know it was a joke. I knew it was a joke! I just didnt get it right away Would you guys stop it! have you guys ever thought to do something more meanigful with our lives? Like what? Like helping ppl. UHHH. Derek, WHat ppl. I dunno ppl who need help Models help ppl Yea they show them how to dress cool and wear there hair in interesting ways. I guess so. You know what can really help you sort through these difficult times? ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPICCIONO! Do What? Be profesionally good looking. (full quote)
  Tod are you unaware that I get farty and bloated from a foamy lat'e My mistake your mistake indeed (full quote)
  I'm sorry. Did my pin get in the way of your ass? (full quote)
  Meet my assistance... katinkainkabagovanahah (full quote)
  When I was in second grade for the third time, I saw my reflection in a spoon and said, you are really, really, really, ridicoulusy good looking, you could do this for a living! (full quote)
  Look, I gotta go pee but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when i come back. (full quote)
  Dammit Derek - I'm a coalminer, not a professional film and television actor (Jon Voight as Pops Zoolander) (full quote)
  But now the forbidden fruit must be tasted. (full quote)
  I know what you need. ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPACINO! (full quote)
  earth to meekus, duh, yeah, okay, I KNEW THAT! (full quote)
  **from the special features on the dvd** Racism is silly and uncool, why does it matter what colour someones skin is, as long as their really really good looking? (full quote)
  Hansel: well u can dere lick my balls! Zoolander: I can derelick my own balls thankyou very much! (full quote)
  1/i am very busy (1/ pokes 2/ in the butt with a pin) 2/ ouch 1/ i'm sorry did my pin ge in the way of your arse. Lose 5 pounds ameditally or get out of my building. GET OUT! I'm so tired (full quote)
  For a second there i thought somebody would be reading our ugoogolies (full quote)
  I love penis (full quote)
  Mauri:what do we do when we fall off a horse? Derek Gives Blank stare Mauri: we get back on Derek: sorry Mauri, I'm not a gymnast! (full quote)
  Oh yeah? Me and my friends have been too busy bathing off the Southern coast of St. Bargs with spider monkeys for the past two weeks. Tripping on acid, changed our whole perspective on shit. (full quote)
  Hi Derek! I'm Little Cletus ! I'm here to tell you all about child labour laws...they're silly and out dated! (full quote)
  Put a cork in it, Zane! (full quote)
  I just spent a week in St.Bart's..playing with spider monkeys, trippin' off acid. Changed my whole perspective on shit. (full quote)
  THE MAN HAS ONE LOOK! BLUE STEAL?! FERRARI? LA TIGRE?! ITS ALL THE SAME FACE! DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE THIS I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS! I INVENTED THE PIANO KEY NECK TIE! I INVENTED IT! what HAVE YOU DONE DEREK?! NOTHING!!!! YOUVE DONE NOTHING!!!! NOTHING!!! (full quote)
  I Suggest you and your kmart Jacket stay away for derek Zoolander! (full quote)
  I'm fiery hot with....ANGER!!!!-Mugatu (full quote)
  Derek: Well, to tell you the truth I was a little hesitant at first Mr.Mugatu. I mean, I've been around for... Mugatu:...ages and ages, you've been around for a long time, and I never wanted anything from you and now you're retired and I can't have you and it's funny how it switches like that. But now the forbidden fruit must be tasted. (Submitted by Kellan Webb) (full quote)
  Happy... Happy... Ha Ha Haha Ha (full quote)
  Derek, I'd like you to meet Katinka Inga Bagovanana... na (full quote)
  WHAT IS THIS?!? A CENTER FOR ANTS!?! HOW DO YOU EXPECT THEM TO Learn HOW TO READ IF THEY CAN'T EVEN FIT IN THE BUILDING!?!?! (full quote)
  Orange mocha frapachino! (full quote)
  Hey Derek, you rule. Thanks Paris, I appreciate that (full quote)
  Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le tigre? they're all the same look. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I invented the piano key neck tie .. what have you Derek? nothing. NOTHING! (full quote)
  Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le tigre? they're all the same look. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I invented the piano key neck tie .. what have you Derek? nothing. NOTHING! (full quote)
  They were like brothers to me. Not really brothers, but the way that black people use it which is more meaningful I think. (full quote)
  I think I'm coming down with the black lung pop. (full quote)
  Merman *cough cough* MERMAN! (full quote)
  Zoolander on Globalization:Half the population is covered in water....The other 96% is wheat...Think about it...no..YOU think about it (full quote)
  (1)Derek? Can you hear me Derek? (2)God? (1) God? what the shit are you talking about? (full quote)
  (Weak coughing) I think I got the black lung, pa. (full quote)
  Katinka, I just thought you'd like to know - your boy Zoolander's rollin - it's a walk off. (full quote)
  *cough*cough* I think i got the black lung (full quote)
  I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. (full quote)
  I have to pee but i hope we can continue talking about this conversation when i get back (full quote)
  TODD!! Are you not aware that a foamy latte makes me farty and bolated!?!?!? (full quote)
  Meet my assistant, Katinka Ingabagova Na Na (full quote)
  Hansel: Me and my friends have been to busy bathing off of the soutern coast of St. Bard's with spider monkeys for the past two weeks. Trippin' on acid changed our whole perspective on shit. (full quote)
  Hey there boys and girls im little cletis. im here to tell you about child labor laws and how they are silly and outdated. along time ago children use to be able to go to work yipeee fun :) but the mean old prime minister of malasyia put a stop to that ..boohoo wahhh. youll learn marshall arts ..prime minister baadd, marshall arts good. obey my dog. (full quote)
  Screw you and your little dog too! (full quote)
  Lucky for me no one I know reads your little TIME magazine or whatever its called. (full quote)
  How are they supposed to learn anything if they can't even get in the building? It needs to be at least three times this size! (full quote)
  matilda: Derek! I thought I told you to turn off your phone! derek: turn off my phone? turn off my phone? matilda: yah derek: earth to matilda, this phone is as much a part of me as- matilda:you know what? can we just cut it out with all the earth to's please Hansel: we're not actully saying this is the earth calling you matilda matilda: yah, no I got that. I understand you dont literally mean- derek: uhh no, i don't think you do, listen its not like we think that were actually in a control tower trying to reach outerspace aliens or something.. hansel: (in weird alien voice) hellllo, hellllo derek: oooooh SNAP! (full quote)
  Mugatu : I invented the piano key neck tie.. what have you ever done? NOTHING..... YOU'RE NOTHING !!!!! (full quote)
  Hi Derek, my name's Little Cleetus, and I'm here to tell you the truth about child labor laws. They're silly and outdated. In the good old days, kids as young as five could work as they please,YIPEE! HURRAY! (full quote)
  You know I get farty and bloated from a foamy latte! (full quote)
  Richard Gere is a real hero of mine. Sting...Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it...but the fact that he's making it...I respect that. (full quote)
  Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn't mean we to can't not die and a horrible gasoline fight accident! (full quote)
  look, i gotta go pee, but id really like to continue talking about this conversation when i get back. (full quote)
  What is this....a center for ants?!?! how are children supposed to read when they cant even fit inside the building...???? (full quote)
  matilda: and then... i became bulimic derek: you could read minds? (full quote)
  Zoolandeer; a Model...Idiot (full quote)
  You think you're too cool for school...well you arent! (full quote)
  Morey: now if i could only ka-piss,, my prostate is flarin up like a fickin ticky tooch,, come on give me alittle pee pee, a little drop(splat) THATS WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT!!!! (full quote)
  how the fuck are ya (full quote)
  a kitinka inka a bokana naaa naa... (full quote)
  a kitinka inka a bokana naa naa... (full quote)
  MerMAN! *cough cough* MerMAN! (full quote)
2049 Derek- I thought you were here to me how bad a eugoogalizer I was. Matilda- A what? Derek- A eugoogalizer: One who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogaly was. (full quote)
2049 Orange Mocha Frappachinos! (full quote)
2049 Obey my dog! (full quote)
2049 Moisture is the essence of wetness. And wetness is the essence of beauty. (full quote)
2049 Thar's Mer-MAN! (full quote)
CarmiCrowe There must be more to life than being really, really, really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. (full quote)
deadpoetjs God!? what the shit are talkin about it's me, Maury. (full quote)
15570 I'm sure there's more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan to find out what that is... (full quote)
21416 Oh Snap! (full quote)
22966 You think you're too cool for school. Well I've got a news flash for ya Walter Cronkite...you aren't (full quote)
22966 1)You can deri-lick my balls, capi-tan. 2)I can deri-lick my own balls (full quote)
23438 Perhaps you'd rather go back to churning out novelty neck ties in Hackin-sack. (full quote)
23438 Man1: what about Fabio? Hmmm? Woman: Too smart. This is a rush job. He's got to be EXTREMELY dim-witted.. A beautiful self-absorbed simpleton who can be manipulated and molded, like jello. Man1: Or cookie-dough. Man2: Play-dough. Woman: ANY kind of dough. (full quote)
23438 Matilda: Arr..Derek, I don't know if your familiar with the belief that some Aboriginal tribes hold, it's the concept that a photo might steal part of soul. What are your thoughts on that as someone who get's his picture taken for a living? Derek: Well, I guess I would have to answer your question with another question. How many abordigenals do you see modelling? (full quote)
23438 Hansel: The results are in Amigo! what's left to ponder? Derek: uh- Hansel: Nice comeback! (full quote)
23438 Maury Ballstein: Right now this guy is so hot, he could take a crap, wrap it in tin foil and put a coupld of fish hooks on it, and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as Earrings. (full quote)
23438 Mugatu: Oh, I'm sorry, did my PIN GET IN THE WAY OF your ASS?! Do me a favour and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my BUILDING, LIKE, NOW! GET OUT!!! (full quote)
23438 Katinka: I suggest you and your K-Mart-Jacqueline Smith Collection outfit stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander! (full quote)
23438 Mugatu: Hello Derek. Welcome to your relaxation time. Let this wonderful 80's classic soooth you. Just some nice warm happy time. HAPPYYAHHHHHHH. (full quote)
23438 Derek: Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many peoples lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way. (full quote)
23438 Katinka: I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense. Not one little bit. (full quote)
23438 Derek: what do you say we settle this on the runway.. Han-solo (full quote)
23438 Matilda: That She-male Katinka is not messing around (full quote)
23438 Hansel: Derek and Matilda are in hiding cause some dudes brainwashed Derek to 'off' the prime minister of Micronesia.. (full quote)
23438 Matilda: When I was in seventh grade, I was the fat kid in my class.. I was the one that all the pretty girls used to make fun of. It was an awkward phase. Anyway, everyday after school, I would come home and, you know, I'd flip through the pages of my mum's Vogue and Glamour and I'd, I'd just look at these women. Perfect, beautiful, and just unbeleivable skinny women, and I couldn't-oh I couldn't understand why I didn't look like them. (full quote)
23438 Derek: seriously, do you like service yourself ten times a day? (full quote)
23438 Derek: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched in between the two Finnish dwarfs and the Maori tribesman. Hansel: Oh yeah. Derek: Where I thought, 'Wow, I could spend the rest of my life with this woman'. (full quote)
23438 Todd: Let's go people, let's go! Vagrants and Whores, your wanted in make-up. Runaways and Street Hustlers, your next! (full quote)
23438 Katinka: Glad you could join us, K-Mart. Lucky for you there is no dress code. (full quote)
23438 Hansel: He tried to brainwash Derek to kill the Claymation dude! (full quote)
23438 Katinka: You don't have the guts, K-Mart! Matilda: Wanna bet? You were wrong about my outfit. It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at J.C Penny, on sale. (full quote)
23896 So i'm repelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip and I start to fall. And I mean I'm about to die - just falling. aahhh! ahhhh! I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I remember - Holy Shit! Hansel, haven't you been smoking peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your mind? ... It was! I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius . . . (full quote)
wfukuch There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Mayori tribesman, when I was just like, WOW! I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman! (full quote)
25016 Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk-off, Boo-lander? (full quote)
1ajas Moisture is the essence of wetness. Wetness is the essence of beauty. (full quote)
1ajas I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS!!! (full quote)
27410 Todd!! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?? (full quote)
28176 Or did you think I was too stupid too know what a yagoogaly was? (full quote)
  they'll be looking for us at maurys but they wont be looking for.... not us MATILDA: derek what r u talkin about?DEREK: hansel do you have a cosmetics kit? Hansel: ya just for touch ups but..DEREK: when i was just starting out i used to do my own make up and hair styling if i can create a basic disguise using this we may be able to get into maurys undetected (full quote)
  Mugatu: Well good, Cause im fiery hot with ANGER! (full quote)
  Mugatu: Well good, I have no time for shenanigans…..NO TIME! (full quote)
  So there I was, repelling down Mt.Vesuvius, when suddenly, i start to fall. I mean I'm about to die. But then I realized, Hey Hansel, haven't you been smoking peyote for the last six days, and couldn't some of this maybe in your head?...and it was. I've never even been to Mt.Vesuvius! (full quote)
  Aren't you aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy late?! (full quote)
  Farrari, La Tigra, Blue Steel... They're the same look. Does anyone else notices this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!! -Mugatu from Zoolander (full quote)
  Their break dance fighting (full quote)
  Matilda:Derek, how much are you worried about Hansel? Derek: Not as much as I'm worried about Gretel! (full quote)
  So what? Do you understand that the world does not revovle around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way. (full quote)
  Derek: Yes, by why male models? ... David: .. r u serious? I just explained that a moment ago. (full quote)
  im sorry that i was born with this perfect bone structure that my hair looks better done up with gel than hidden under a stewpid hat with a light on it... all i ever wanted was to make you proud pop (full quote)
  It's that damn Hansel! He's SO hott right now! (full quote)
  Hansel,so hot right now, Hansel. (full quote)
  Hansel: You can DERELICTE my balls. Derek: I can DERELICTE my own balls. (full quote)
  Derek: But why male models? Moldel: Think about it Derek, male models dont think for themselves. They do whatever they are told. Derek: No we don't model: Yes you do Derek Derek: okay. But why male modles? (full quote)
  (Cough cough) I think I'm getting the black lung, Pop. (full quote)
  i think i got the black lung, pop. who's winning the match? (full quote)
  Brint, Meekus, and Rufus were like brothers to me. And by brother I don't mean actual brother but I mean it in the way black people use it, which is more meaningful I think. If there's anything that this tragedy can teach us is that a male's life is a precious precious commodity. And even though we have chiseled abs and stunning features, doesn't mean we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. So I'd like to take this opportunity and announce, my ret... (hansel...) excuse me, I would like to retire from the male modeling profession. (what?) I'm pretty sure theres more to life than being really really rediculously good looking, and I just want to find out what that is. (full quote)
  Earth to Matilda... Helllewww! Hellllewww! (full quote)
  ...And that's My Sherpa Laap-Sang... (full quote)
  Derek: yeah, why do you hate male models, Matilda? Matilda: Well, I think they're vain, stupid, and totally self-centered. Hansel: I completely agree with you. But why do you hate male models? Derek: oh! snap! (full quote)
  hansel hes so hot right now hansel (full quote)
  I give you, The Derek Zoolander Center for children who can't read good, and who wanna do other stuff good too. Derek: What is this? A center for ants? HOw can we expect the children to learn how to read, if they can't even fit inside the building? It has to be atleast :::thinking:::3times bigger! Mugatu: He's right! (full quote)
  For christ's sake, it's a caserole Shella, it will stay! (full quote)
  I don't know, he's talking about teaching underprivileged retards or some shit like that! (full quote)
  That Hansel....so hot right now!! (full quote)
  Derek: Earth to Matil It's not like were in a control tower trying to reach outerspace aliens or something. Hansel:(Alien Voice) Hello Hello (full quote)
  A model, Idiot? (full quote)
  Hansel: Derelick ma balls Derick: Well Hansel, as in Hansel and Gretel, I can derelick ma own balls (full quote)
  Derek's Father: You're more dead to me boy than your dead mother...I thank god she died before she saw her son a mermaid....Derek: MERMAN...MERMAN!?! (full quote)
  Derek, I'd like you to meet, Katinka Inga Bogova Naaa Naaa. (full quote)
  Todd, Are you not aware that I get farty and bloaty with a foamy latte? (full quote)
  Hansel:I always wondered what bark was made out of on a tree. (full quote)
  Zoolander Promo: Can you believe that some people are affraid to open a male modeling catalog, for fear of seeing big words that look like spooky animals? Don't be affraid! Words can only hurt you if you try to read them, don't play their game! (full quote)
  Hi Derek. My name is little Cletus and I'm just a regular kid here to tell you the truth about child labor laws. They're SILLY and OUTDATED! In the olden days children could work as they pleased in textile factories and even iron smelts. YIPPIE! HOORAY! (full quote)
  Todd, are you not aware that i get farty and bloated from a foamy latte!?! (full quote)
  To me its all about working hard, having fun, and...then like, working really hard some more...but then having some more fun (full quote)
  god? its maury (full quote)
  For ages and ages i never wanted anything from you, now that your retired i cant have you, its funny how it changes like that, but now the forbiden fruit must be tasted. (full quote)
  I feel like I have taken CRAZY PILLS! (full quote)
  So I'm repelling down Mt. Mazufious when suddenly I slip and I start to fall, I mean, I'm about to die. Just falling, ahhh ahhh I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I remember, 'Holy shit, Hansel, Haven't you been smoking paoti for six straight days...and couldn't some of this may be in your mind?' and...? It was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mt. Mazufious. (full quote)
  You think your too cool for school, but I gota news flash for you Walter Choncite, you aren't. (full quote)
  Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many peoples lives, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an inverstigatory journalsit, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave deadied and bloodied and dying along the way? (full quote)
  I invented the piano key necktie!!!! (full quote)
  Merman...cough cough cough cough...merMAN (full quote)
  Derek, I'm not sure if you're familiar with the belief that some aboriginal tribes hold. It's the concept that a photo might steal a part of your soul. What are your thoughts on that as someone who gets their picture taken for a living? Well I guess I'm going to have to answer your question with another question. How many abidiginals do you see modeling? (full quote)
  Derek-Their was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, when i thought: i could really spend the rest of my life with this woman. (full quote)
  Derek: They'll be looking for us but they won't be looking for...NOT US (full quote)
  Hello Derrick! Welcome to your relaxation time! Let this classic 80's hit sooooth you just like nice warm happy time...Happy!, happy, Happy! hahahaha Nothing to worry about at all, just relax! (turns to a little girl) Hey there Derrick! I'm little Clenis! I'm just here to teach you the truth about child labor laws ok? They're silly and outdated! In the good old days, kids as young as 5 could work anywhere from textile factories to iron spills! yippee HOoray! But now the age for children being able to work is under attack...from China, Bangledash, India, to South American too! Boo hoo! but you can help these children Derrick...by KILLING THE PRIME MINISTER OF MALAYSIA! You will learn martial arts! Kapow! Prime minister...bad Matial Arts...good! Kill the prime man, kill the prime man..OBEY MY DOG! You have one other objective Derrick. Do not be distracted by the BEAUTIFUL celebrites in the crowd, just do as you've been told and KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER! KAPOW! In your little blue suit and your spikey black hair, your a super hot ninja! (full quote)
  i'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? (full quote)
  (maury)derik what do u do if u fall off a horse?(derik)WISPERINNG what do u do when u fall off a horse?????(maury)u get back on derik u get bak on!!!(derik)sorry maury ime not a gymnist. (full quote)
  Derek: but why male models?! Random Hand Model in Grave yard: Are you serious...?..i just told you that a moment ago.. (full quote)
  Mugatu-but who? I mean where in all of gods green goodness am I going to find someone that beast headed!! (full quote)
  i wish a popcicle for every time i had a penny brad m. (full quote)
  You better step aside hansel, before i hit you in the jugular, thank you very much! (full quote)
  your wrong....its..*The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids who can't read good and want to learn to do other stuff good too.* (full quote)
  I invented the Piano Key necktie! I invented it! what did you do Derek? Nothing! You did NOTHING!!!! NOTHING!!!! (full quote)
  I love aaliyah, don't you, derek zoolander? (full quote)
  1: I can't stand Hansel! 2: The Way he rides around on his scooter like he's so cool. 1: And the Way he does his hair. 2: Or like doesnt... it's like excuuse me but have you ever heard of styling gel. 3: I'm sure he's heard of styling gel he's a male model. 2: Earth to Brint.. I was making a joke. 3: Earth to Meekus I know okay. 2: Earth to Brint I'm not so sure you did.. cuz you were all like Well I'm sure he's heard of styling gel like you did'nt know it was a joke. 3: Earth to Meekus I knew it was a joke I just didn't get it at first. 2: Earth to Brint... 5: WOULD YOU GUYS JUST STOP IT ALREADY! Did you ever think there was more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking! (full quote)
  what is this todd? ARN'T YOU AWARE I GET FARTY AND BLOTY WITH A FOAMY LATAI? (full quote)
  I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense. Not one little bit. (full quote)
  wanna hav sex mathilda? (full quote)
  Yo! Taste my pain, bitch! (full quote)
  1) Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a model 2) no but the two guys that capped him from the grassy knoll sure as shit were (full quote)
  You don't have the guts, KMART! (full quote)
  NOT NOW TODD, I'm SO TIRED! (full quote)
  I invented the piano key necktie, what have YOU DONE? Nothing......NOTHING!!! (full quote)
  No, not now todd, i'm tired. (full quote)
  Serve me up some piping hot hansel (outtakes) (full quote)
  Derek:(tiny coughs) I think I got the black lung pop. (full quote)
  1) But why male models? 2)Are you...are you serious? I just told you! (full quote)
  Orange Mocha Frappechino (full quote)
  HAPPY...happy....HAPPY (full quote)
  that hasel, he's so hot right now, hansel (full quote)
  for christs sake sheila! its a cassarole it'll stay!!!!!! (full quote)
  Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investi-gatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way... (full quote)
  good, because i have no time for shanagans...No time (full quote)
  Do it Hansol! (full quote)
  i invented the piano key necktie.. what have you done? youve got nothing!!!.... NOTHING!!! (full quote)
  One man, five syllables. (full quote)
  Mugatu's so hot right now, he could take a crap, wrap it in tin foil, add some fish hooks and sell it to queen elizebeth as earrings. (full quote)
  Mugatu: Oh, im sorry, did my PIN GET IN THE WAY OF your ASS?! lose five pounds like now or get the hell out of my office! (full quote)
  Derek's Dad: You're dead to me, boy. You're more dead to me than your dead mother. (full quote)
  Or cookie dough. Any kind of dough! (full quote)
  (1)You know what you need to help you sort through these important issues? (2)What? (1, 3, 4) ORANGE MOCHA CAPPUCINOS!!! (full quote)
  There all the same look! Le Tigre, Ferrari, Blue Steel! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! (full quote)
  There all the same look! Le Tigre, Ferrari, Blue Steel! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! (full quote)
  The results are in amigo. what's left to ponder? Nice comeback. (full quote)
  Hey there Derek! My name's Lil Kleatus! I'm here to tell you about Child Labor laws. They're silly and OUTDATED! (full quote)
  Ever since the first time in second grade while eating my cereal i caught my reflecition in my spoon and i said you are redicuoulsy good looking mabey you can get paid for it ... paid for what being redicoulusy good looking of cource (full quote)
  HAPPY... HAPPY... Ah hahahaha... (full quote)
  Matilda: Derek..when did u first relize you wanted to be a male model? Derek:well, it'd have to be when i was in the first grade and i saw my reflection in my spoon and i relizes wow..im rediculesly good looking (full quote)
  its a casrole shiela itll stay (full quote)
  Can Nobody Else See It, Am I on Crazy Pills!! (full quote)
  excuse me bra... (full quote)
  Hanse- hello ... hello ( calling out to the freaks out of earth (full quote)
  Hanse- hello ... hello ( calling out to the freaks out of earth ) (full quote)
  Sarah PAIN!!! hey what's up I LOVE THE MOVIE ZOOlandER (full quote)
  Derek- Earth to Matilda..its not like were actually in a control tower trying to reach outer space aliens or something.. Matil-oh I know that Derek- I dont think you do Hansel- hello...hello! (haha) (full quote)
  Mugatu: derek, i would like you to meet my new assistant, Katinka-Inca-Begovana-na-na-na (full quote)
  zoolanders dad: for christ sake derek, you're a mermaid. derek: MAN, MERMAN. (full quote)
  1) oooooohh, the files are in the computer!! (breaks computer open) (full quote)
  Hansel: Excuse me bra Zoolander: you excused, im not you BRA (full quote)
  Look, I gotta go pee but, I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back. (full quote)
  Mugato: I invented the piano key necktie. And what have you done? Nothing! NOTHING!! (full quote)
  Matilda-so i became....Hansel-...what?..Matilda-..well....bulimic...Zoolander- YOU CAN READ MINDS? (full quote)
  Matilda-so i became....Hansel-...what?..Matilda-..well....bulimic...Zoolander- YOU CAN READ MINDS? (full quote)
  billy Zane: When are you going to unleash Magnum on us? Derrick: Gotta tame the beast before you let it out of the cage. (Zane looks puzzled.) (full quote)
  Mugatu: Hi kids! my name's Lil Cledus and im here to tell you about child labor laws. They're silly and outdated! Back in the good old days children as young as 5 could work. From textile factories, to iron smelts. Yipee, Hurray! (full quote)
  Derek - Thank you Mr. Prime Rib Of Propecia (full quote)
  I'm not your Bra! (full quote)
  Derek: I have a vision. Mugatu: And so do I, let me show you mine. Let me show you the future of fashion. Let me show you Derelict! It is a fashion a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crackwhores that make this wonderful city so unique. And I want you, Derek, to be the face, the image, nay, the spirit.. of Derelict! (full quote)
  Mugatu: Im one hot little potato right now! (full quote)
  I can't yet, you have to tame the tiger before you can let it out of it's cage (full quote)
  cool story Hansel. Thanks Olof (full quote)
  ITS A CASSEROLE SHEILA!!!!!! (full quote)
  Ya Kapish, now if only i could kapiss (full quote)
  Now if I can only get a piss. My prostate's flaring up like a freakin' tiki-torch. Give me a little pee pee. C'mon, just a couple of drops. (Drip) Yes! That's what I'm talking about! (full quote)
  ...tragic my friends had to die in a FREAK gasoline accident. (full quote)
  Mugatu: Todd! Are you aware that I get Farty and Bloated with a foamy latte? (full quote)
  I’m pretty sure there’s more to life than just being really, really good looking, and I plan on finding out what that is. (full quote)
  Hansel: Poppin' & lockin' foo! (full quote)
  Hey!Listen up everybody, Mugatu's a dick!! (full quote)
  its that damn hansel...hes so hot right now (full quote)
  I invented the piano key neck tie! (full quote)
  1: i say we all get naked 2: what? 1: ep ep ep just give into the tea... (full quote)
  I'm sorry. Did my pen get in the way of your ass! Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building now! (full quote)
  you want the truth, you want the truth, you cant handle the truth!!!! (full quote)
  To me it’s all about working hard, having fun, and...then like, working really hard some more... but then having some more fun...(From DVD ekstra material) (full quote)
  I’m hot, I’m sexy, I’m naughty, I’m coy, I’m scared, I’m an asteroid hurtling to the center of the earth about to blow you up Rikkeminator! hvornår? 12-01-2004 17:05:10 I’m hot, I’m sexy, I’m naughty, I’m coy, I’m scared, I’m an asteroid hurtling to the center of the earth about to blow you up (DVD ekstra material) (full quote)
  Oh yeah, I've never heard of it. Me and my friends have been too busy bathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkies for the past two weeks, tripping on acid. Changed our whole perspective on shit. (full quote)
  Oh yeah, I've never heard of it. Me and my friends have been too busy bathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkies for the past two weeks, tripping on acid. Changed our whole perspective on shit. (full quote)
  SNAP (full quote)
  SNAP (full quote)
  ahh SNAP! (full quote)
  Im schvitzen like a shmedrik!! (full quote)
  that hansel...he's so hot right now. (full quote)
  Lets go get some ORANGE MOCHA FRAPUCHINOS (full quote)
  cough, cough. Pops, I think I've got the black lung (full quote)
  I've got the black lung pop. AHEM AHEM (full quote)
  you're dead to me boy. more dead than your dead mother. (full quote)
  Hansel: I can't see a thing out there...you gotta cut me. (full quote)
  derek:Look i'm really complimented, but not interested..matilda: what? derek: i can't sleep with you (full quote)
  MUGATU:Don't you know i get farty and bloaty with a foamy latte!! (full quote)
  i am really really dirty.... i am... DERELICTÈ (full quote)
  there break dance fighting (full quote)
  lifes a bungee, i grip it and i rip it (full quote)
  Mory: Derek what do you do when you fall off the horse? Derek: ................... Mory: You get back on Derek: Im sorry Mory, Im not a gymnist (full quote)
  Maury: Want to hear an opponion? Wtih the right bra you could actually have a nice rack of lamb! (full quote)
  zoolander: ill come back for you hand model guy: hurry go go! (zoolander stept on the guys glas cover) hand model guy: YOU FREAKIN IDIOT!!! (full quote)
  Matilda: I became... bolemic. Derek: You can read minds?!! Matilda: (sighs) It's when you throw up after every meal. Derek: (sniggering) Matilda... SO WHAT! I through up after lots of meals! Hansel: Me too, It's a great way to lose pounds before a show. (full quote)
  Hansel: So I was repelling down Mt. Versuvius, when sudenly, I slipped, and I started to fall, I mean I'm about to die. Arrghhh argghh, (waving hands) I'll never forget the terror, but suddendly I said to myself, holh sh*t, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Paote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your mind? Derek: And? Hansel: It was! I was totally fine, I've never even been to Mt. Versuvius! Finnish Dwarf: Cool story Hansel! Hansel: Thanks Olaf. (full quote)
  what IS THIS? A CENTER FOR ANTS!? (full quote)
  I haven't had sex in 8 years....Zoolander: HOW DO U LIVE??? (full quote)
  i think i'm getting the black lung pop, it not very well ventilated down there. (full quote)
  I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense! (full quote)
  we need someone so dimwhitted he can be modeled like clay...or cookiedough (full quote)
  Hansel: There results are in amigo! whats left to ponder!? (derek thinks) Nice comeback! (full quote)
  Look out! She's got an egg! (full quote)
  They'll be looking for us, but they wont be looking for..NOT US! (full quote)
  I dig the bungy. For me its just the way I live my life, I grip it and rip it. (full quote)
  one day i woke up and said to myself, if i'm going to be incredibly beautiful, i might as well get paid for it. (full quote)
  You can read minds? (full quote)
  Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugogolizer was? (full quote)
  -But why male models? -Are you serious?... I just told you, a moment ago -right! (full quote)
  -So Derek are you worried about Hansel? -Not as much as I'm worried about Gretel... hey put that in your article, i want people to know how funny i am. -They'll know, it hits newsstands tomorrow (full quote)
  One look!?! (full quote)
  Lucky for you there is no dress code (full quote)
  Something you hate to see at an event like this, ugly protestors bothering beautful people. (full quote)
  Han-sell-out is about to get his Han-sell-ass handed to him on a platter. With french-friend potatoes. (full quote)
  Derek: What is this!?!? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to read if they can't even fit indside the building? The center has to be atleast 3 times bigger than this! Mugatu: He's absolutely right. Derek: I have a vision Mugatu: As do I. Let me show you mine. (full quote)
  You have twelve...hundred messages. That is a bit above average. (full quote)
  Merman pop. Merman! (full quote)
  Its a merMAN father, a merMAn!!! (full quote)
  Katinka: I do not like nosy reporter with lack of fashion sense.. not one little bit. (full quote)
  It's a casserole, SHEILA! (full quote)
  why you been acting so messed up towards me? (full quote)
  Mugatu:I invented the piano key neck tie- i invented it. what HAVE YOU DONE DERYCK? NOTHING!YOU'VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHING! (full quote)
  1: But why male models? 2: Are you kidding?.. I just told you that. 1: Right. (full quote)
  katinka.inka.bigovina.naanaa becca this is for u from jules (full quote)
  They're in the computer? It's so simple.... (full quote)
  Congradulashons Derek - 4 yeers in a row! (full quote)
  A eugoogaliser.....one who speaks at funerals. (full quote)
  Derek: I dont do everything anyone tells me! Hand model: Yes you do. Derek: Ok. (full quote)
  Derek: Its not like we think we're the Earth calling you! Hansel : Hello....Hello.. (full quote)
  Derek: *cough* I think Im developing the black lung father. Its not very well ventilated down there. (full quote)
  You think you're too cool for school, but ive got news for you, Walter Kronkite.....you arent. (full quote)
  Sting...Sting would be another hero of mine. The music he makes, I dont really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. (full quote)
  be still im working here, im working OOWWWWW im sorry did my pin get in the way of ur ass. do me a favor and lose 10 pounds immediatly or get out of my building right now.... now I'M SO TIRED no todd not now (full quote)
  i do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense. not one bit. (full quote)
  uh, earth to matilda, we weren't really trying to signal you from space (full quote)
  what do you do when you fall of the hoarse? (derek thinks...) you get back on! Sorry Moury I'm not a gymnast (full quote)
  I feel like it really hurt my feelings when you told me to deralick my balls. (full quote)
  .you meen the files are IN the computer? .Derek what do we do when we fall off the horse...we get back on the horse...im sorry but im not a gymnist .we help people we make them feel good about themselves .Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake!....ONE LOOK! .Derek that was unbelievable...I know i turned left!...no u saved the prime minister! (full quote)
  what is this?!?! A center for ants!! (full quote)
  mekus: its like ex-squeeeze me but have you ever heard of styling gel? brint: he's a male model. i'm sure he's heard of styling gel. mekus: uh, earth to brint. it was a joke, okay? brint: earth to mekus, duh, okay, i knew that mekus: earth to brint, i'm not so sure you did cuz you were all 'well.. i'm sure he's heard of styling gel' liek you DIDN'T know! hahahaaa brint: earth to -- derek: GUYS! do you ever think there might be more to life than being really really really ridiculously good looking? (full quote)
  Derek Zoolander, a model. idiot! (full quote)
  1 - But why male models? 2 - Are... are you serious? I just told you. Five minutes ago. (full quote)
  Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee. Hee Hee Hee. La Dee Da Dee Dee. Don't you see? I'm not a tree. (full quote)
  That Mugatu is so hot rite now. (full quote)
  That Mugatu is so hot rite now. (full quote)
  happy happy hahaha (full quote)
  i cant sleep with you my head is killing me (full quote)
  Thanks Zolaf I'll try (full quote)
  I was always the type of kid that would wonder what bark was made out of on a tree. (full quote)
  Derek Zoolander:You think your to cool for school, well i have a newsflash for you walter cronkite, you arn't. (full quote)
  Derek Zoolander:You think your to cool for school, well I have a newsflash for you walter cronkite, you arn't. (full quote)
  OK DEREK ZOOLANDER only HAS 1 LOOk THE MOVIE is A PIECE OF SHIT STOP POSTING YOU FAGS (full quote)
  Look I have to go pee, but I'd really like if we could continue talking about this conversation when I get back. (full quote)
  Hello loser its so funny emphisis on the word funny hw he only has one facial its the whole point and its like THEEE funniest movie in the world (full quote)
  Hansel to matilda: How about a thank you for the freak-fest last night? (full quote)
  I feel like I'm on crazy pills! (full quote)
  J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders? Derek Zoolander: Mugatu! J.P. Prewitt: Slaves Derek. (full quote)
  J.P. Prewitt: I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed. Snops (full quote)
  Derek Zoolander: Well, I guess it started during my first year of the second grade, when I was eating lunch and caught my reflection in a spoon, and I thought to myself, 'Hey, Derek, you're ridiculously good looking! And I thought maybe I could do that for a career. Matilda: Do what for a career? Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking. (full quote)
  I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS! (full quote)
  >Ugh.. I cant stand hansel. >I know right, riding in on that scooter like he's so cool. >and the way hansel comes his hair! >or like doesnt...its like ex-squeeez me but have you ever heard of styling gel hahahah >Im sure hansels heard of syling gel, hes a male model >Uh. earth to brint i was making a joke >earth to meekus, duh okay...i knew that >earth to brint...im not so sure you did cuase you were all 'well im sure hes heard of styling gel, like you didnt know it was a joke! ahah! ah? >I knew it was a joke, i just didnt get it right away >well earth to brint >WOuld you guys stop it already. did you ever think that maybe theres more to life then being really really rediculousy good looking, i mean...maybe we should be doing somthing more meaningful with our lives, like helping people. >uh. derek, what people? >I DONT KNOW! people who need help! >Models help people, they make them feel good about themselves >They also show them how to dress cool and wear their hair in interesting ways. >I guess so. >you know what could really help you sort through these importand issues? >huh? >>>ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPACINOS!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  cool story hansel (full quote)
  OBEY MY DOG! (full quote)
  Hey Maurice...!! (full quote)
  Hey Maurice...!! (full quote)
  Hey Maurice...!! (full quote)
  why dont we settle this on the runway..? (full quote)
  why dont we settle this on the runway..? (full quote)
  GOD? (full quote)
  GOD? (full quote)
  I gotta tame the tiger before I let it out of the cage (full quote)
  I gotta tame the tiger before I let it out of the cage (full quote)
  Are you having a whack attack? (full quote)
  Are you having a whack attack? (full quote)
  Derek:One look...One LOOK??!! Colored guy: MAGNUM!! Mugatu: It's beautiful! (full quote)
  You guys cannot make the quotes right, you all can derelick my balls, capitaine! Don't you know I'm loco. What is this a center for idiots? How can we expect people to quote the movie properly, if they can't even get the quotes right?! I want none of you reading my eugougely, it'll be all wrong! SNAP! (full quote)
  It's a walk off everyone! . . . It's a walk off. (full quote)
  It's a walk off everyone! . . . It's a walk off. (full quote)
  Derek I'd like you to meet Katinka Ingabagovana Nah Nah...shell be your day to day on the derelicte campaign (full quote)
  poop my pants (full quote)
  And then I became bulimic.-you can read minds!?-no, its when you trow up after every meal.-hahaha Matil,i do that all the time,yea it's a good way to lose a few pounds before a show (full quote)
  I'm not an ambiturner! (full quote)
  That Mugatu is so hot he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, and sell them as earrings! (full quote)
  keep pulling the sweater, eventually the whole thing will unravel (full quote)
  So I'm repelling down Mt Vesuvius, and my rope breaks and I begin to fall and im falling , falling. ahhhh, I'll never forget the terror! Then i thought to myself, hey hansel. haven't you been smoking peyote for 6 straight days and couldn't some of this maybe in your head? [and???] it was....i've never even been to mt vesuvius..... (full quote)
  i'm sure there are lots of people who cant.....turn left (full quote)
  matil: i thought i told you to turn off your phone!... zoolander: turn off my phone???????? (full quote)
  So I'm repelling down Mt. Vesuvius when suddenly I slip and I start to fall, I mean, I'm about to die. Just falling, ahhh ahhh I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I remember, 'Holy shit, Hansel, Haven't you been smoking peyote for six straight days...and couldn't some of this may be in your mind?' and...? It was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mt. Vesuvius (full quote)
  One Look?!? (full quote)
  Maury-what do you do when you fall off the horse? Derek- whisperin to himself fall off the horse. Maury-you get back on. Derek-sorry maury, im not a gymnist... (full quote)
  Hansel....so hot right now (full quote)
  MUGATU: Ohhh!!! There it is...Theres Magnum.....Its beautiful! (full quote)
  Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogalizor I am...A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was? (full quote)
  Well, I guess I would have to answer your question with another question. How many ebidiginals do you see modeling? (full quote)
  Mugatu- Derek, i give you the Derek Zoolander center for kids who can't read good (and who wanna learn to do other stuff good too). {Derek studies model} Derek- What is this???!?!? A center for ants?!?!? (throws model on floor) How are the children expected to learn if they can't even fit inside the building??? Mugatu- Derek it's just a small scale mod.... Derek- I DON'T WANT TO HEAR your EXCUSES! The center has to be at least....3 times bigger than this. Mugatu (confused, but trying to negotiate. looks over to Todd)- he's absolutely right... Derek- thank you, i have a vision. Mugatu- and so do i...let me show you mine....(presents him with Derelicte) (full quote)
  but, why male models? (full quote)
  Think about it! No, 'you' think about it! (full quote)
  Matilda: I became bulimic. Hansel: YOU CAN READ MINDS?!?!?!?! (full quote)
  Hansel, he's so hot right now!!! (full quote)
  Matilda: I was belmic Zoolander: you could read minds?!? (full quote)
  TODD! ARE YOU NOT AWARE THAT I GET BLOATED AND FART WITH A FOAMY LATAI!?!! (full quote)
  answering machine:you have twelve hundred messages. Zoolander:Hmm thats a bit above average.. (full quote)
  listen..this has been an emotional day for all of us...lets get naked (full quote)
  rufus, brint, and meekus were like brothers to me. and when i say brother, i don't mean it like an actual brother. i mean it in the way black people use it. which is more meaningful i think. if there is anything this horrible tradgety can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious precious commodity. just because we have chiseled abs, and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. (full quote)
  Put a cork in it Zane! (full quote)
  You read minds? (full quote)
  Mugatu: Its the same look! Am I the only one that notices that! I feel like im taking crazy pills!! (full quote)
  what is this... A CENTER FOR ANTS!?! (full quote)
  Whoaa... you can read minds (full quote)
  good, because I'm a hot little potato right now (full quote)
  Whose winning the match? (full quote)
  Han-stupid.....SNAP (full quote)
  you do what ever it takes...no matter how many people you leave bloody and dying....no matter how many friends you lose....just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist...no matter how many people you kill...or how many friends you lose....just as long as you make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist (full quote)
  tod, are you not aware that i get farty and bloated with a froathy latte?Allowed HTML: (full quote)
  Im a hot little potato right now (full quote)
  hansel..hes so hot right now (full quote)
  a confused Derek: audi-whatey? (full quote)
  (1)That's why I became...bolimic (2)...You can read minds? (full quote)
  You think your too cool for school, but I got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...you aren't! Whatever dude, peace God bless. Hey Hansel sorry about Mugatu's derelict campaign. Huh, I've never even heard of it. Me and my friends were too busy bathing off the southern coast of St. Barnes. Tripin on acid, changed my whole perspective on the sh**. So I guess you can derelick my balls capitan. I can derelick my own balls thank you very much. (full quote)
  It's a casserole sheila, it'll stay! (full quote)
  I even sent him some pet oxen, they love that kind of crap in Malaysia. (full quote)
  Owww.... O I'm sorry did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose 5 pounds immediatley or get out of my building like now. GET OUT!!! (full quote)
  Just because we have chizzled abs and stunning features doesnt mean we too cant not die in a freak gasoline fight accident! (full quote)
1454 1-It's Relax! 2-It's okay! I've done this a millions times! (full quote)
3225 1) I became bulemic 2) you can read minds? (full quote)
3225 Hansel he's so hot right now (full quote)
3225 Listen to your friend Billy Zane (full quote)
8837 cool story Hansel! (full quote)
CarmiCrowe Oooh, Snap! (full quote)
10929 Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? (full quote)
10929 call me. (full quote)
10929 Wake me up before you go-go. (full quote)
10929 He ain't heavy...he's my brother. (full quote)
10929 Love to love you, baby. (full quote)
10929 Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a male model. (full quote)
11007 they were like my brothers, and when i say brothers i dont literally mean brothers, i mean it the way black people say it cause i think it means more (full quote)
13284 I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense. (full quote)
Wige247 Sting is another person who's a hero. The music that he's made over the years, I don't really listen to it. But the fact that he's making it, I respect that. (full quote)
28557 1) When I was in 7th grade, I was the fat kid. 2)Eww! (full quote)
28557 Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? (full quote)
28557 M: Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte? Todd: My mistake Jacobin! M: your mistake indeed! (full quote)
28557 Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ASS!? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building! Now!...I'm so tired...No Todd, not now! (full quote)
28573 what is this? A center for ants? (full quote)
29280 Rico: Derek, Kick Hansel's ass! Derek: Thanks Rico, I'll try. (full quote)
29280 (the 100% accurate eath-to quotes) Rufus: ughh, I can't stand Hansel! Meekus: I know, right? Riding in on that scooter like he's so cool. Rufus: And the way Hansel combs his hair... Meekus: Or, like, DOESN'T. It's like, 'EX-SQUEEZE ME, but have you ever heard of styling gel'? Brint: I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel. He's a male model. Meekus: Earth to Brint. I was making a joke. Brint: Earth to Meekus. Duh, okay? I knew that. Meekus: Earth to Brint. I'm not so sure you did 'cause you were all, 'I'm sure he's heard of styling gel' LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A JOKE, HAHA! (full quote)
29280 Hansel: But seriously, Matil- Can I call you Matil? ... What the dilio, yo. (full quote)
29405 hi derek i'm little clitis and i'm here to tell you about child labor laws. They're silly and outdated! (full quote)
31415 ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME TO A WALK-OFF...BOOO-landER (full quote)
33418 I think the calendar really shows my versatility (full quote)
34453 Hansel..SO HOT right now (full quote)
34731 *cough* *cough* I think I'm developing the black lung Pa. (full quote)
34894 But why male models? (full quote)
35741 I’m thinking, I’m hot, I’m sexy, I’m naughty, I’m coy, I’m scared, I’m an asteroid hurtling to the center of the earth about to blow up, big time!!! (full quote)
35741 To me it’s all about working hard, having fun, and...then like, working really hard some more... but then having some more fun...” (full quote)
35741 Even though the homeless are poor and smelly and live in boxes, their clothing and accessories are still really cool (full quote)
35741 I mean, she’s at least two feet shorter and 35 pounds heavier than any woman I’ve ever been with but... there's something about her that just, it gives me an erect... (full quote)
35741 The other day, I was thinking of volunteering to help underprivileged children learn how to read... and just thinking about it was the most rewarding experience of my life. (full quote)
35741 A male model’s life is precious. Just because we're God’s most incredibly beautiful creations, we can still die in a freak gasoline fight accident (full quote)
37516 I think I have the black lung, pop! (full quote)
37714 Melinda: I used to be the fat girl back in high school-- Zoolander: EEEWWWW (full quote)
37864 Derek: Turn off my phone? Turn off my phone Matilda?? (full quote)
38573 1) I was bulemic. 2) You can Read Minds?! (full quote)
39364 TWO WEEKS???!!.....How can you live?? (full quote)
39364 SNAP!!!! (full quote)
  get the quotes right guys (full quote)
  Mugatu to some random model: Oh I'm sorry...did my pin get in the way of your ass??? Do me a favor and loose 5 pounds immediatly!!! (full quote)
  1.)I think I got the black lung pop... 2.) Jesus Christ Derek, you've been down there for one god damn day. (full quote)
  lucky for you, not to many people i know read your little TIME magizene (full quote)
  hansel hes so hot right now hansel. (full quote)
  are you challanging me to a walkoff? (full quote)
  I am hot. I am sexy. I am super-sexy. I am plain.... testing! (full quote)
  Dont you know i get all farty and bloated with a foamy latte? (full quote)
  a (full quote)
  (voice over): One man, 5 syllables: De-Rek-Zoo-Lan-Der (full quote)
  Mer-man...ugh ugh..mer-man! (full quote)
  Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? (full quote)
  What is this ? A center for Ants ? How are you suposed to teach children how to read , if they cant even fit inside the building ? (full quote)
  Craig Pearce has no pants!!! (full quote)
  Mecus, Brint and Trent were like brothers to me, but i don't mean like actual brothers, but i mean it the way black people use it, which is more meaningful I think. (full quote)
  So I'm rapelling down Mount Vesuvius, when suddenly I slip. And I start to fall. I mean I'm about to die. Just falling. AHHH. AHHH. I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I remember, 'Holy shit. Hansel, haven't you been smoking peyote for six straight days? And couldn't some of this maybe be in your mind?' And? It was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius. (full quote)
  what is this? A school for ants? It has to be atleast...three times bigger! (full quote)
  I'm just glad to see she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid! ZOOlandER: merman! Merman! (full quote)
  I invented the piano key neck-tie! (full quote)
  Zoolander: But why male models? Hand model: What are you serious, I just told you that (full quote)
  God, is that you? (full quote)
  Magnum! It's Beautiful! (full quote)
  I turned left! (full quote)
  I have to go pee right now but I would really like to finish talking about our conversation when I get back. (full quote)
  KatinkadaNAAANAA (full quote)
  Todd!, don't you know i get farty and bloated with a foamy latté. (full quote)
  Mugatu: Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte! (full quote)
  I wasn't like most other kids, you know, who dream about being an austronaut. I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it- i respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doind today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. (full quote)
  Todd (full quote)
  Just because youre really really ridiculously goodlooking doesnt mean that you cant not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. (full quote)
  hansel..hes so hott right now he could take a dump, rap it in tin foil, put a couple of fish hooks on it and sell it to queen elizabeth as earings. (full quote)
  I invented the piano-key necktie! what have you done? Nothing...NOTHING (full quote)
  Derek: Sorry you didnt make the cut for mugatu's derekleiks campaign Hansail: Well you can Dereklickmaballs caption (full quote)
  SNAP! How do you live?? (full quote)
  Hansel: i was on top of mount Vizuvious. And i tripped and i was falling dude. I'll never forget the terror. Hot bread Zeke! But then i thought, Hansel, haven't u been smoking peyote for seven straight days, and couldn't some of this be in ur head? Derek: And? Hansel: It was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to mount Vizuvious. Olaf: Cool story Hansel. Hansel: Thanks Olaf. (full quote)
  Obey my dog (full quote)
  im not an ambi-turner, i can't turn left (full quote)
  Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway! The man has only one look for Christs Sake!!. Blue Steel....Ferrari la tigra...they're the same face. Doesn't anyone realise this I feel like I,m taking crazy pills. I Invented the piano key nexk tie. I Invented it!! (full quote)
  (phone rings) Derek: God? Maury: What the shit are you talking about? It's me Maury. (full quote)
  Katinka Ingabogovianaanaa (full quote)
  Katinka Ingabogovianaanaa (full quote)
  Sting...Sting would be another person who's a hero of mine. The music that he's made over the years, I don't really listen to it, but I the fact that he's making it, I respect that. (full quote)
  Derek- Well at first I was a little hesitant cuz I've been around for a while... Mugatu- (nodding) You've been around for ages and ages, you've been around for a long long time and I never wanted anything from you and now you're retired and I cant have you and it's funny how things switch like that! But now the forbidden fruit must be tasted.... (full quote)
  I dig the bungie (full quote)
  Zoolander to Matilda:Who Cares! Don't you see that the worlds doesn't revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many lives, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you loose or people you leave dead and bloody along the way just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you loose or people you leave dead and bloody and dying along the way? (full quote)
  They'll be expecting us, but they won't be expecting NOT US. (full quote)
  not now matilda. han-sellout is about to have his han-sell ass handed to him on a platter . . with french fried potatoes (full quote)
  age before beauty goatcheese (full quote)
  I'm a hot little potato right now! (full quote)
  magnum's a lot softer i use it more for catalogue shoots (full quote)
  Prime Minister of malaysia bad...martial arts good! (full quote)
  it was for the first time in the second grade, when i looked into my silver spoon and realised....im really, really, really ridiculiously good looking (full quote)
  Hot bread Zeek! (full quote)
  *cell phone rings* Maury:Hello, Derek are you hearing me? Derek:GOD!? (full quote)
  what do you say we settle this on the run-way... HAN-SOLO. (full quote)
  hi im zoolander!! aint that just googly!!! (full quote)
  cool story Hansel (full quote)
  Hansel: earth to matil! Matilda: stop with all the earth to's, okay? Derek: We're not saying as if the earth is actually calling you, as if space aliens are in contact with us! Hansel: HELLO! HELLO! (full quote)
  i thin i have the black lung pop (cough) (cough) (full quote)
  Hansel: Excuse me, bra Derek: your excused. And I'm not your bra (full quote)
  your work, in the winter'95 catalogue, is what made me wanna be a model. (full quote)
  uh I can't stand that hansel. I know right. Riding in on that scotter like he's so cool. (full quote)
  kill the claymation dude? (full quote)
  We're not actually saying that the earth is calling you. Matilda: No i get that. Derek:No, I dont think you do (full quote)
  You know, Matilda, last night when you were sandwiched between those dwarves, i realized how much i love you. (full quote)
  Mugatu: I'm sorry! did my pin get in the way of your ass?!?! Lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now! (full quote)
  Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte? (full quote)
  You don't care about how many people you leave dead and bloodied along the way just as long as you can make it as an investigative journalist no matter how many people you lave dead and bloodied along the way? (full quote)
  Hansel: Growing up I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut. I was always more ineterested in what bark was made out of on a tree. (full quote)
  Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it. But that fact that he's making it, I respect that. (full quote)
  I'd like you to meet Katinka, Ingabogovininana. (full quote)
  Hansel: It's in ... the computer? (full quote)
  DEREK: what is this a centre for ants!! how are the children expected to read if they cant even fit inside the building! . . it has to be at least. . . . 3 times bigger than this... MUGATU: hes absolutely right (full quote)
  todd! dont you know that foamy lottes make me all farty and baloted?? todd:my mistake sirr Mugatu: yes, your mistake indeed! (awkward scilence) **the two just stare at each other whimpering for a few seconds** Mugatu:Deric, id like to show you something........The Derik Zoolander Center For Kids who CAnt read Good And Who Wanna Learn How too do Other stuff good Too! (full quote)
  its a walk off (full quote)
  listen i gotta go pee, but when i get back i'd really like to continue talking about this conversation. (full quote)
  Voice on the phone- Keep pulling the sweater. Matilda- What? Voice- eventually the whole thing will unravel. Matilda- Don't you mean, keep pulling the thread? Voice- Now your getting it baby (full quote)
  what is this? a center for ants!? i dont want your excuses! how can children learn to read if they cant even fit in the building? it needs to be at least...3 times bigger (full quote)
  I'm sorry, I was whack. (full quote)
  The original greek word model means mishapen ball of clay. I try to think about that whenever i get in front of the camera (full quote)
  I'm a MerMan!!!!! (full quote)
  I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. (full quote)
  Hansel- where'd all the files go? (full quote)
  Morrie:what do you do when you fall off a horse Derek? *Derek thinks and is dumbfounded.* Morrie: You get back on. Derek: Sorry Morrie, I'm not a gymnast. (full quote)
  Hansel: I felt like, this guy's really hurting me. And it hurt. (full quote)
  Check your message machine! message: you have 4... thousand messages. derek: hmm thats a bit more then usual (full quote)
  But this is Mugatu, Derek. Right now this guy is so hot he can take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple of fishhooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings. (full quote)
  ....I mean have you every heard of styling gel? Im sure hes heard of styling gel, hes a male model earth to brint that was a joke earth to meekus i knew that earth to brint im not sure you did because you were all like 'im sures hes heard of styling gel' like you DIDN'T know it was a joke earth to meekus i knew it was a joke i just didnt get it right away (full quote)
  But now the forbidden fruit must be tasted (full quote)
  orange mocha frappichinos!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  Do me a favour and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building LIKE NOW!! (full quote)
  aren't you aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?!! (full quote)
  Hansel! So Hot Right Now! Hansel! (full quote)
  Derek: Cough, cough, i think i got the black lung Pop. Derek's Dad: You've been down there ONE DAY! Talk to me after thirty years! (full quote)
  A model..idiot? (full quote)
  But I never go anywhere with out my tiny cell phone! (full quote)
  Mugatu: I've negotiated my butt off, Georgio! I've tried talking to them, I've tried bribes, I even sent them some pet oxen! I mean they love that kind of crap over there! (full quote)
  Zoolander: Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak, gasoline fight accident. (full quote)
  Derek Zoolander... A model, idiot. (Zoolander looks puzzled) (full quote)
  you know i get bloated on a foamy latte (full quote)
  I think I got the black lung pop (full quote)
  I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. Do I know what I'm doing tomorrow? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. (full quote)
  mugatu: hanstupid destroyed them all (full quote)
  Derek: all I wanted to do was make you proud popps! Derek's father:With what your male modeling!?, Prancin' around in your underwear with your wiener hangin out for everyone to see?!. You're dead to me boy, you're more dead to me than your dead mother, i just thank god she didnt live to see her son as a mermaid.......Derek: (coughs) MER MAN..... MER MAN!!! Scene. (full quote)
  The files are IN the computer! (full quote)
  ur vaginal cream ...! u cream is allover my shirt (full quote)
  do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes ruin as many peoples lives so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investicatory journalist no matter how many friends you loose or people you leave dead and bloody along the way just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investicatory journalist no matter how many friends you loose or people you leave dead and bloody and dying along the way?!?! (full quote)
  Hi! I'm lil Kleatus! I'm just a regular kid... (full quote)
  Mugatu:the guy's got one look.doesn't anyone notice that i feel like i'm taking crazy pills.Derek:one look, one look, i don't think so. (full quote)
  Im a hand model mama, a finger jockey. we're different from the face and body boys. we're a different breed. (full quote)
  and then there's ferrari and le tigre. le tigres more of a catalog look, i use it for footwear sometimes (full quote)
  That one moment when she was sandwhiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the maori tribesman I said to myslef, WOW this is someone i could really spend the rest of my life with. (full quote)
  That one moment when she was sandwhiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the maori tribesman I said to myslef, WOW this is someone i could really spend the rest of my life with. (full quote)
  Derek, I'd like you to meet...Katinka Ingabogovininaahnaah! (full quote)
  Derek- You can't just barge into peoples lofts wanting sex then changing your mind then tell them they've been at a day spa for a week! Matilda- but you have been at a day spa for a week! Derek- so what..... (full quote)
  Enough already Ballstein, who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? He's only got one look for Chrsit's sake: Blue Steel, Latigra, Ferrari...they're the same thing! I feel like I'm taking Crazy Pills! (full quote)
  You know i get farty and bloated from a foamy latte! (full quote)
  I mean the way hansel styles his hair...or like doesn't im like exsqueez me but have you ever heard of styling gel...im sure he's heard of styling gel he's a male model...uh earth to brent i was making a joke...uh earth to mincus duh ok i knew that...uh earth to brent im not so sure you did cause you were all well im sure he's heard of styling gel like you didnt know it was a joke hahaha ha...i knew it was a joke mincus i just didn't get it right away...earth to brent-... would you two stop it already i mean maybe theres somthing more meaningful to life than being realy really rediculiously good looking like helping people..uhh derek what people...I dont know people who need help...yeah models help people they make them feel good about themselves...they also show them how to dress cool and wear their hair in interesting ways...derek you know what would help you sort through these really important issues..what?...ORANGE MOCHA FRAPACHINOS!!! (full quote)
  Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ASS? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like NOW! (full quote)
  Maury- what do we do when we fall off the horse (Derek looks around pondering) Maury- we get back on... Derek- Sorry Maury. Im not a gymnist (full quote)
  Hey, guys this is derek and matilda. They are gonna be hiding out here for a rew days coz someone is trying to make derek kill the prime minister of micronesia (full quote)
  Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? (full quote)
  Hansel: Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. (full quote)
  LOOK OUT - SHE'S GOT AN EGG! (full quote)
  (after seeing the mermaid commercial with Derek) It's not my fault I look better with gel in my hair that with a little helmet with a light on it. (full quote)
  You cant just walk into someone's flat wanting sex then changing your mind and telling them they've been at a day spa for a week. (full quote)
  Derek's Father: You're more dead to me than your dead mother. Thank God she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid! Derrek: mer-man! *high pitched cough* mer-man! (full quote)
  You're exused...and I'm NOT your bra! (full quote)
  Mugatu: Shut up! Enough already Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway?! The man has only one look for Christ's sake. Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're the same face. Doesn't anyone notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I invented the piano key necktie. I invented it. What have you done, Derek? Nothing! You've done nothing! Nothing! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I have you ruin this for me. Because if you can't get the job done, then I will. Die you wage-hiking scum. (full quote)
  ohi!, Taste my pain bitch! (full quote)
  good, do it! For i have no time for shenanagins, no time! (FROM THE DELETED SCENESE) (full quote)
  TOOD! Dont you know I get farty and blowty with a foamy latae?!?! (full quote)
  MY MISTAKE JAQUOBEEME! (full quote)
  it has to be at least three times bigger than this (full quote)
  it has to be atleast three times bigger than this (full quote)
  water is the essence of moisture (full quote)
  zip it Zane! (full quote)
  surprize.... what the hell is the mata with you (full quote)
  who am i?...GOD? (full quote)
  katinka (full quote)
  Why you actin so messed up towards me? z-why u actin so messed up towards me? Hansel- you first. Zoolander- maybe I felt threatened by you (full quote)
  I farted and I can Derlieck my own balls! (full quote)
  Lose ten pounds now! (full quote)
  Derek: Brint Brint: huh Derek: No! (full quote)
  My mistake sir yourE MISTAKE INDEED (full quote)
  (zoolander pushes answering machine button) --YOU HAVE 12........ hundred messages (full quote)
  With your spiky black hair, and your little blue suit! (full quote)
  I invented the Piano key necktie!!! (full quote)
  For God Sakes Sheila, It's a casserole, it'll keep!!! (full quote)
  Inka Katinka Bagovanananaaa (full quote)
  i've got some cantelope halves (full quote)
  but why make models? (full quote)
  i didn't mean we are actually trying to contact aliens from outta space,mat: yeah i got that DZ:i don't think you do matilda (full quote)
  what is this, a center for ants...... it has to be at least three times that size (full quote)
  Orange Mocha Frappaccino! (full quote)
  hansel- Hey u guys derek and matilda are gonna be crashing here for a while cuz he was brainwashed to kill the president of micronesia- matilda- malaysia- hansel- right (full quote)
  what is this, a centre for ants? It needs to be at least...3 times this size! (full quote)
  -but why male models -...................... you serios i just told you -right (full quote)
  but why male models .... you serious i just togd u right (full quote)
  Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan. Derek: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much. (full quote)
  what IS THIS?1? A CENTER FOR ANTS!?! (full quote)
  *cough* *cough* Whos winning the match? (full quote)
  Maury: what do we do when we fall off the horse?............We get back on. Derek:I'm sorry Maury, I'm not a gymnast. (full quote)
  that hansel is so hot right now! (full quote)
  *************i can derelick my own balls thank you!************ (full quote)
  I can derelict my own balls thank you very much. (full quote)
  holy fuck, everyone in here needs to see Zoolander a few more times every line in here is wrong (full quote)
  i'm sorry my hair looks better done up with gel and mousse than it does stuck under some stupid hat with a light on it!!! (full quote)
  *cough cough* I think I'm getting the black lung, pop. (full quote)
  You talking Loco I like that (full quote)
  Hansel: Excuse me brah Dere: You're excused, and im not you brah! (full quote)
  Hansel: Excuse me brah Derek: You're excused, and im not you brah! (full quote)
  Hansel: Excuse me brah....... Derek: You're excused, and im not you brah! (full quote)
  It's a walk-off! It's a walk-off. (full quote)
  What IS this? How are children expected to learn to read if they can't even fit inside the building? It has to be at least...three times that big! (full quote)
  ...to see my only son turn into a mermaid...MERMAN!! (full quote)
  ...to see my only son turn into a mermaid...MERMAN!! (full quote)
  meet my assistant, Katinka Inga Bigovinanana (full quote)
  Matilda:When did you find out you would start a career in modelling?Zoolander:Well in grade 2 in the cafeteria i caught my reflection on a spoon and thought,geese, im ridiciously good looking. (full quote)
  You have 1200 messages. Derek-That is a little bit above average. (full quote)
  derek - have u cum 2 tell me wot a bad ugoogaliser i am? matilda - ...? derek - dont tell me u dont no wot a ugoogaly is (full quote)
  I think I've got the black-lung, Pop. (full quote)
  Sting is another hero of mine, the music he's made throughout the years....I don't really listen to it...but the fact that he's making it.....I respect that (full quote)
  I wasn't like every other kid, ya know, who dreams about being an astronaut. I was always more interested in, uh, what bark was made of on a tree. (full quote)
  (1)We need someone stupid who can be moulded like Jello (2)Or cookie dough (full quote)
  Who am i, (puddle) I dont know. Hmmm I guess i have a lot to ponder, Hansel-The results are in amigo whats left to ponder?, Derek-uhhhh, Hansel- NICE Comeback (full quote)
  Moisture is the essence of wetness (full quote)
  1. what do you do when you fall off a horse? Derek. *thinking* 1. You get back on it! Derek. I'm sorry, I'm not a gymnist (full quote)
  “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” (full quote)
  Mugatu: I'd like you to meet Katinka Inga Bogovin Ana Na (full quote)
  1. But why male models? 2. are you serious? i just told you (full quote)
  1. But why male models? 2. are you serious? i just told you (full quote)
  HANSEL (full quote)
  Not now Matilda. Hansela is about to have his hansel-ass handed to him on a plate. with french fried potatoes. (full quote)
  whats The Deal YoYo (full quote)
  Mugatu : Hansel, He's so hot right now, Hansel. (full quote)
  Derek: what is this? a center for ants!? how do you expect to teach kids how to read good, if they cant even fit inside the building?! this building needs to be...at LEAST 3 times bigger. (full quote)
  Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think. (full quote)
  Zoolander - (after spending ne day in the coal mine) [fake girly cough] Dad i think im getting the black lung disease... (full quote)
  OBEY MY DOG!! (full quote)
  Derek: What is this a center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children how to learn to read if they can't even fit inside the building? Mugatu: Derek, no it's just a small.... Derek: No i don't want to hear excuses. The center has to be at least three times bigger than this. Mugatu: HE's absolutly right. Derek: Thank you, i have a vision. Mugatu: and so do i, let me show u mine. (full quote)
  Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? (full quote)
  Matilda: Derek that was unbelievable! Derek: I know! I turned left! Matilda: No, you saved the Prime Minister! Derek: Oh, well that's cool too. (full quote)
  Mugatu: You have no evidence. Han-stupid destroyed everything. (full quote)
  Hansel. He's so hot right now. Hansel. (full quote)
  what is this? *throws model to ground and breaks*...a center for ants?how r we expected to teach the children to read if they cant even fit inside the building..(Magatu:it just a m..)i dont want to hear ur excuses...it needs to be at least..3 times bigger!(magatu:*sarcasticly* your right!) (full quote)
  *high pitched girly cough**high pitched girly cough* i think i'm getting the black lung.. (full quote)
  Hansel; I was falling off this mountain and said , wait a minute Hansel, didn't you just smoke payote? (full quote)
  what! Fourteen days, that's fashion week it's impossible I have a show. (full quote)
  You cannot just barge into people's lofts, wanting sex and then changing your mind. Telling people that they were in a day spa for a week. (full quote)
  it has to be at least 30 TIMES bigger (full quote)
  when i was going through 2nd grade for the first time,i saw my reflection in the back of a spoon and i thought, wow, i'm ridiculously good looking. (full quote)
  mugatu: shut up!enough already ballstein! who cares about derek zoolander anyway? the mans got only one look for christ sake.blue steel?ferrari?le tigre? they're the same face! doesnt anyone notice this? i feel like im taking crazy pills! i invented the piano key necktie.i invented it. what have you done derek? nothing! you;ve done nothing!nothing! and i will be a monkeys uncle if i have you ruin this for me. because if you cant get the job done,then i will. die you wage hiking scum! derek: One look? one look?? i dont think so! (full quote)
  Black lung (full quote)
  Why are you acting so messed up towards me? (full quote)
  hansel: excuse my bra. zoolander: your excused..... and another thing,hansel, im not your bra. (full quote)
  hansel: excuse me bra. zoolander: your excused..... and another thing,hansel, im not your bra. (full quote)
10929 Obey my dog! (full quote)
10929 It's in the computer. (full quote)
10929 3% body Fat. 1% Brain Activity. (full quote)
11007 Paps (Cough cough)I think I got the Black Lung (full quote)
34509 Hansel: Well, you can dere-lick my balls Derek: I can dere-lick my own balls thank you very much Hansel: Listen to your friend Billy Zane. He's a cool dude (full quote)
40504 merman! (full quote)
41011 LOOK OUT, HE'S GOT AN EGG!! (full quote)
41991 But, why male models? (full quote)
41991 taste my pain bitch! (full quote)
41991 I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS (full quote)
41991 orange mocha frappachinos (full quote)
41991 1: Age before beauty goatcheese 2: whatever (full quote)
41991 1: Lee Harvey Oswald wasnt a male model 2:your god damn right they weren't, but those two lookers that capped kennedy from the grassy knoll sure as shit were! (full quote)
43323 NO TODD! NOT NOW! (full quote)
44657 We've got ourselves a walk off (full quote)
44812 Mugatu:you know i get farty and bloaty with a foamy latte! Todd: My mistake jacobeam Mugatu: your mistake indeed! (full quote)
45511 You can read minds? (full quote)
45511 I'm not an ambi-turner. I can't turn left. (full quote)
45511 Right now Mugato's is so hot. He could take a crap, wrap it in tin foil, put some fish hooks on it and sell them to Queen Elizabeth as earrings. (full quote)
45511 A model, idiot! (full quote)
angierox310 I want to build a school for kids who can't read good. (full quote)
efreder what is this, a center for ANTS?!... The center has to be at least... three times bigger than this. (full quote)
efreder 1. I'm just glad your mother isn't alive to see her son as a mermaid. 2. Merman. Mer-MAN! (full quote)
Weena #1 like the way he combs his hair #2 or like doesnt i mean hasnt he ever heard of styling gell #3 umm earth to brint i think he has heard of styling gell he is a male modle #2 uh earth th mekus it was a joke (full quote)