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Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo - 1999 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
3225 They're midieval weapons...they are worth even more if they have killed somebody (full quote)
1339 I collect Canadian quarters. I have six. (full quote)
1339 Okay I can play this game. Three hundred four hundred five hundred, there you're my hooker (full quote)
  -I'm a gigalo... women pay me to pleasure them. -How did you get THAT job?? -I just sort of fell into it. -I'm gonna KILL my guidance counselor! (full quote)
agwendolyn I prefer to think of myself as a male madame. Wait, that doesn't sound right. (full quote)
  Are you kissin' me? (full quote)
4804 Are you kissing me? (full quote)
  Holy Shit it's Big foot!! (full quote)
4902 You must have a powerfull manginia (full quote)
4902 You must have a powerfull mangina (full quote)
  Keep it in the circus! (full quote)
  That's a HUGE BITCH (full quote)
3590 Jigga-who? (full quote)
3590 1)Hey fishy, fishy, fishy. 2) They don't like that. (full quote)
5450 THAT'S A HUGE BITCH!!!! (full quote)
3590 I think there's something wrong with my...big fish. (full quote)
3590 1: woman pay me to give them pleasure 2: I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor. (full quote)
6034 That's one tall bitch. (full quote)
6274 Thats one hell of a she bitch! (full quote)
  don't make me he-bitch man-slap you!!!!! (full quote)
  1)There must be some kind of mistake. 2)Did you say STEAK??? 1) No, MIS-take. 2)Oh, see, now you got me all excited. 1)I'm gay. 2)Well how gay are you? 1)Very very gay. You must have called the Very Gay Escort Service. 2)Ah shit you see sometimes my fingers swell up and I can't hit the numbers properly. They should make a phone for full figured girls. 1)So, what should we do? 2)Oh, cakes and pies, cakes and pies! 1)Which pie has the most sugar? 2)Peach cobbler. 1)Ah, you win again, that's three games to one! 2)Fast food trivia's my game baby! (full quote)
  Her mouth paid for our honeymoon (full quote)
  Well son, it looks like I've got some work to do (full quote)
8217 TJ- you're an un-grateful he-bitch! (full quote)
4538 I did man-whore for awhile. (full quote)
6457 I just have a lot of stuff going on in my life and it all kind of culminated when your leg fell off. (full quote)
6457 Don't make me he-bitch-man-slap you! (full quote)
6457 1 Do the initials T and J mean anything to you? 2)Turkey Jizz? (full quote)
6457 1)I'm a gigolo. 2)Jigga who? (full quote)
6457 1)I'm her pimp. 2)who? 1)You know, the girl you asspunched. (full quote)
6457 HA HA VULVA! (full quote)
6457 BIG BIG TITTIES! (full quote)
6457 You know, Antoine's got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up.... with my anus. (full quote)
8949 Even though you have only one leg, It is the most beautiful leg in the world. (full quote)
9565 Cakes and pies, cakes and pies (full quote)
  THAT'S A HUGE BITCH! (full quote)
Northboarder It's not small, it's thin... spaghetti thin... (full quote)
12117 Deuce: I'm not an ungrateful he-bitch! (full quote)
15031 I don't want to bend you over and do you dry. (full quote)
12480 T.J.: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it? D: Where? T.J.: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it? D: Man-whoring? T.J.: stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring. (full quote)
12480 T.J.: You know, Antoine's got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up with my anus. (full quote)
12480 T.J.: You know, Antoine's got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up with my anus. (full quote)
12480 T.J.: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it? D: Where? T.J.: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it? D: Man-whoring? T.J.: stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring. (full quote)
12480 T.J.: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it? D: Where? T.J.: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it? D: Man-whoring? T.J.: stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring. (full quote)
  One time, I dropped a cigar ash on Antoine's carpet, and he made me pick it up....with my anus. (full quote)
22722 dont make this he bitch man slap you (full quote)
  This is a CUSTOM HAND JOB! (full quote)
  Freak! Keep it in the circus, FREAK! (full quote)
  Hey Deuce its Antwon......I just realized I don't know you that well, this whole thing is kinda freakin me out.......if anything in my apartment is messed up you will DIE......bye bye (full quote)
  God damn it white boy! (full quote)
  Have a good niple! (full quote)
  Sir. There was an overflow in the womens bathroom. There is shit everywhere. (full quote)
  Sir. There was an overflow in the womens bathroom. There is shit everywhere. (full quote)
  vulva! (full quote)
  BALL hair! - Thats right, ball hair...what we need is a...strike hair! (full quote)
  nipple biter (ieieieieieiei) (full quote)
Deb Deuce (responding to Antoine's boast about being a gigolo): How'd you get that job?! Antoine: I don't know, I just sort of fell into it. Deuce: I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor! (full quote)
  Jabba: I know what you're thinking. You're thinking these are the biggest boobies you've ever seen. Deuce: Can I please use your phone? Jabba: I'm not your average woman. I like SEX......and I'm not afraid to admi..(coughs, coughs, coughs) EXCuse me I jusy had pudding an hour ago. Deuce: DEAR GOD! Jabba: Have you ever approached a bicycle in an airplane anchor? Deuce: I'm sorry? Jabba: Have you ever thrown a toothpick........into a volcano? Deuce: HUH? Jabba: Oh nothin'...just making my own chitchat. Are you comfortable? Deuce: Actually no. Jabba: Oh....I'm sweatin'....you got me all HOT! You don't like my hair do you? Deuce: I think there's been a mistake. Jabba: DID U SAY STEAK? Deuce: NO. MIStake! Jabba: Oh SEE now you got me all excited! Deuce: Look I'm gay? Jabba: How gay are you? Deuce: VERY VERY GAY! You must have dialed the very gay escort service! Jabba: OH SHIT! See, sometimes my fingers swell up, and I can't clearly hit the numbers. They should make a phone for full figured girls. Deuce: They should. Jabba: SO....WHAT DO WE DO? Jabba: OH YEAH.....OH YEA Cakes and pies, Cakes and pies. Deuce: Which pie has the most sugar? Jabba: Peach Cobbler. Deuce: YOU WIN AGAIN. That's 4 games to one. Jabba: Well, Fast food trivia is my game, honey. (full quote)
GhoulyGirl13 1: Wow! what are those? 2: Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. There worth twice as much if they've killed somebody. 1: I collect Canadian quarters...I got about six of em.. (full quote)
21100 I'm not your average woman. (full quote)
1335 1. That will be $11.50. 2. No, perhaps you misunderstood. I wish to cancel my order for the martini and order just the cranberry juice. And I'm sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused you. 1. No, perhaps you misunderstood. Either you pay me right now, or I'm going to take this swizzle stick, and I'll be shoving that up your pee hole. 2. So that was $11.50? (full quote)
1335 One time I dropped a cigar ash on his rug. He made me pick it up- with my anus! (full quote)
31819 Mangina. what? its a technical we man whores use (full quote)
31819 IM UPSTAIRS. Deuce gets scared as he walks into her room! this must been a mistake. DID U SAY STEAK. no i said mis-steak. AH NOW U GOT ME ALL EXCITED! im gay! WELL HOW GAY ARE YOU? very very gay u mustve dialed the very gay escort service!AH ITS JUST THAT SUMTIMES MY FINGERS SWELL UP AND I CANT HIT THE BUTTONS. they should make a phone for full figured woman. they should. so now what? CAKES AND PIES CAKES AND PIES! what pie had the most sugar? PEACH COBBLER! correct thats 1 game to 5. well fast food trivia is my game! (full quote)
  1)Have you ever parked your bicycle in an airplane hanger? 2)I'm sorry? 1)Have you ever thrown a toothpick...into a valcano? 2)What? 1)Oh nothing, just making idle chit chat. (full quote)
10929 call Me. (full quote)
10929 Let's Get It On. (full quote)
10929 Get down Tonight. (full quote)
  1. Now you give me 500 dollars. 2. No, you give me.... my 10 dollars. (full quote)
  You're a sick man and I'm gonna tell! (full quote)
  Hi! Bob, we have an overflowing toilet in the ladies room and there is shit everywhere! I gotta a party of 8 coming in and Im up to my ankles in human crap, its a real stinkfeast back there so if you could go ahead and get that cleaned up for us Id appreciate it, thanks! (full quote)
  Duecy, you have a way of pleasuring a woman that would SICKEN a normal man (full quote)
  I dunno, maybe it's a rash from jogging, how the hell should I know! (full quote)
  I'M UPSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRS!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
45658 I GOT A THIN DICK!!! (full quote)
  Ducie, your the best he-bitch I got in my man-stable. If I had a few more mangina's like you I'd be a millionaire. (full quote)
  Ball hair!! (full quote)
p18m (1 Hey I'm not Gay. I just heared it was big and juicy. (full quote)