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Meet The Parents - 2000 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
9595 I've got nipples, can you milk me? (full quote)
9595 He lacks the opposable thumbs! (full quote)
3590 Are you a pot-head Focker? (full quote)
3590 Well you never told me about your cat milking days in Motown. (full quote)
3590 1)Yeah, I'd have to be pretty high though. 2) I'll bet you would panama red. (full quote)
3590 Looks like someone had a little visit from the hair fairy. (full quote)
3590 1) You said bomb on an airplane! 2) what's wrong with saying bomb? 1) You can't say bomb on an airplane. (full quote)
  I'm sorry sir were only seating rows nine and above right now (full quote)
  so mabye if you took those chopsticks out of your hair and cleaned your ears out, and then mabye you could see that I am a person, and all I wanna do is do what I wanna do and what I wanna do is not listen to you (full quote)
7869 Are you a Mister...Focker? (full quote)
  It's just a game, Focker! (full quote)
  These things I pray, day by day. . . (full quote)
9841 what if I was in the military, I would be a bombadeer!! (full quote)
  i pass on grass (full quote)
9963 I have nipples greg, could you milk me? (full quote)
9751 That smell Bob, is our shit (full quote)
  Jack I dont know what we're talking about (full quote)
  Well if Florence Nightengale would play some defense over there... (full quote)
  1] Hey and dont worry about the little covert op. I'll keep it on the low down 2]down low 1]No doubt. (full quote)
  1]Jack cant talk Tai 2] Oh Jack CAN talk Tai, Jack talk Tai very well. (full quote)
  you tried to milk him didn't you, you sick son of a bitch. (full quote)
  Jack: Thats an interesting color, did you pick it? Greg: No, the guy at the counter did, why? Jack: Well they say that genius' pick the color green. Greg: Oh. Jack: But, you didn't pick it. (full quote)
deadpoetjs 1) Don't worry about the little covert-op. I'll keep it on the low-down. 2)down-low 1)No Doubt (full quote)
deadpoetjs 1)Benz drives like a dream. 2) Well let's not make it a nightmare. (full quote)
  oh jack, i like your vase, let me guess, is it one of your hidden cameras, oooga booga oooga booga!! greg, greg, thats jack's dead mother.. (full quote)
deadpoetjs Dad, you can totally see 'VOIT' backwards on her forehead. (full quote)
deadpoetjs Denny:Uh,dad. Jack:what's this? Denny:Oh, it's a sculpture i found in Greg's jacket. Jack:This isn't a sculpture Denny. It's a device for smoking marijuana. Denny: REEEEEAAAAALLY.(jack glares at him). It's not mine; it's not. (full quote)
deadpoetjs 1)Do you have any of those nicotine patches? 2)No. But we got the gum. You chew it. (full quote)
deadpoetjs 1) You've got a real gentle touch doctor; she won't be able to say no. 2)Actually, I'm a nurse. The doctor will be right in. (full quote)
  Oh Dear God…thank you…you are such a good God to us and such a kind and gentle and accommodating God. And we thank you, oh sweet lord of hosts for the smorgasbord you have so aptly laid at our table this day and each day by day, day by day by day. Oh dear lord, three things we pray…to love thee more dearly, to see thee more clearly, to follow thee more nearly, day by day by day…Amen -Ben Stiller, Meet the Parents (full quote)
  Jack: Do you like peter paul and mary? Greg: Yes I do, Big Fan (full quote)
  can you deal with that? (full quote)
  The only way i would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over and tried to pry it from my dead lifeless fingers...OK?...If you can pry it from my Kung Fu grip then you can come and have it...OK?... Otherwise step off bitch! (full quote)
10834 I will bring you down baby, I will bring you down to Chinatown. (full quote)
10834 it's what I like to call, the burns family circle of trust (full quote)
10834 without any food, water and toilet? (full quote)
10834 time to pay a little visit to the urinal fairy...hahahahaa (full quote)
10834 do i think you're a psycho, YES (full quote)
10834 i like what you've done with this cozy little 'nook'.... (full quote)
10834 Greg: You don't have any 80 - 100 dollar champange?? Clerk: You can get a whole bunch of moms. (full quote)
  Oh Fockers Jewish... (full quote)
  I was so lucky I was able to salvage this wood from a seamans chapel in Nantucket. And for the counters I chose a Bolivian wormwood. I widdled it from beachwood. Theres a lot of benjamins to be made. I figured who better to follow after than JC himself. (full quote)
  I'm sorry...you're name's Gaylord Focker? (full quote)
  I got one question for you. It's can you deal with that?! (full quote)
  Yeah, it only took me 70 man hours, which isn't bad considering I carved by hand from one piece of wood. (full quote)
  One day greg, when you have little focker's running around, you'll understand the need for this level of security. (full quote)
  One day greg, when you have little focker's running around, you'll understand the need for this level of security. (full quote)
  The problem Greg, RN... (full quote)
  yeah...she was a real tomcat. (full quote)
  -so how long did it take you to build that? -'bout 70 hours--which isn't bad considering i carved it out of a single block of wood (full quote)
  mi casa est su casa, greg. -uh...you,too jack. you, too. (full quote)
  -so what got you into carpentry? -well if u must ask i'd hafta say Christ. I mean, if u're gonna follow in someone's footsteps who better than Jesus? -Greg's Jewish. -So was J.C. you're in good company! (full quote)
  who ever thought puff wasn't a magic dragon? (full quote)
  -keep it on low down -down low -no doubt! (full quote)
  lil kim, she's phat.....P H phat... (full quote)
  well im gonna go and pay a little visit to the shower fairy (full quote)
  So just listen to me when I say, I'm finished with the checking of the bags conversation!!! (full quote)
  How long did it take you to make this Kev? I'd say about 72 hours, considering I carved it out of one piece of wood. What got you into carpentry? Well, I'd have to say Jesus Christ. Kevin, Greg's Jewish. Well, you probably know it as a jopa. (full quote)
  OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! (full quote)
  Bye Norm (full quote)
  I have nipples, can you milk me, Greg? (full quote)
  I am done with the checking of the bags conversation. The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, okay? If you can get it from my kung-fu grip, then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch. (full quote)
  You tried to milk him didn't you Focker... you sick son of a bitch (full quote)
  He put so much goddam lacquer on that thing, its an accident just waiting to happen. (full quote)
  Hey Focker, If this nursing thing doesn't work out i'd say you could have a real career in espionage. (full quote)
  what's that Jack...Jerusalemtulapaloozlyloo...oh yea...you don't know shit about flowers. (full quote)
  Someone's got a case of the Mondays. (full quote)
  1) Greg is jewish... 2) So was JC! You're in good company... (full quote)
  Debbie: Oh my God! Bob: what's that smell? Jack: That smell Bob, is our shit! Focker flushed the toilet in the den and the septic tank overflowed! Greg: Jack, it wasn't me, it was Jinx! Jack: FOCKER, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN! JINX CANNOT FLUSH THE TOILET, HE'S A CAT FOR CRY SAKES! (full quote)
  Debbie: Oh my God! Bob: what's that smell? Jack: That smell Bob, is our shit! Focker flushed the toilet in the den and the septic tank overflowed! Greg: Jack, it wasn't me, it was Jinx! Jack: FOCKER, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN! JINX CANNOT FLUSH THE TOILET, HE'S A CAT FOR CRY SAKES! (full quote)
  Jack: See, Greg, if you yell at a dog, his ears will go down and his tail will cover his genitals even if he's done nothing wrong. It's very easy to break a dog. But cats make you work for their affection. Cats don't sell out like dogs do. (full quote)
  It's an altar, or as you might call it, a khopa. (full quote)
  Lil Kim. Shes phat. P-H-a-t. (full quote)
  It's not Glen- it's Greg. Greg's afraid of the ball. (full quote)
  Denny: Wait, so your name's Gay Focher? (full quote)
  Greg:So ya got ant of those expensive wines here? Weird Dude:No,but we got mums,on sale for $13.99. Greg: No I mean like any hundred,two-hundred dollar wines? Weird guy: You can just buy a whole lot of mums. Greg: OK then, well do you have any of those Nicotene patches? Weird guy:No, but we got the gum.Greg: O yeah let me see that? Weird guy: ya chew it.Greg yeah ok thanks buddy (full quote)
3605 1) You can milk just about anything with nipples. 2) I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me? (full quote)
6473 oh, you're jewish? that's cool so was JC. (full quote)
6473 1.) Lil' Kim, she's phat........p-h Phat. 2.) yeah 1.) well thanks for the clothes and don't worry about the little secret op, i'll keep it on the low down. 2.) down low 1.) no doubt (full quote)
7522 I'm everywhere, Focker. (full quote)
7678 How do you know my bag would be safe below with the other luggage, huh? Are you physically gonna take my bag and put it beneath the plane? Are you gonna go right now, outside with the guys with the earmuffs and put it in there? No? Ok, then shut your pie hole and listen to me when I say that I am finished with the checking of the bags conversation! (full quote)
8217 I'm done with the checking off the bags conversation! (full quote)
8217 You can get a whole bunch of mums. (full quote)
8217 (Greg)Yeah, you can milk anything that has nipples.(Jack) I have nipples Greg,could you milk me? (full quote)
8217 (Pam)Greg's Jewish,dad. (Jack)Are you telling me Jews don't pray? (full quote)
8217 Puff is just the name of the boys' magical dragon,Greg. (full quote)
8217 Are you a pothead,Focker? (full quote)
10834 good one nurse (full quote)
11259 Greg, you might know it as hopa. (full quote)
11314 where's the fire? (full quote)
11633 Greg: some peope say that to puff the magic dragon is to smoke a ah ahh mari...marijuana cigarette. Jack: Well Puff is just the name of the boy's magical dragon. Greg: yeah i know Jack: are you a pot hea Focker? (full quote)
11633 Shut your pie hole and listen to me when i say that i am finished with the checking of the bags conversation! (full quote)
11822 You said bomb on an airplane. I said its not like i have a bomb. You cant say bomb on an airplane. Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb...bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bamb bomb. what if i was in the military and i was a bombadeer. Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. (full quote)
12034 I have nipples Greg, can you milk me? (full quote)
12315 Bomb bomb bomb! bomb bomb babomb! I was a BOMBbadier in the army! (full quote)
12756 Not many men in your profession, are there Focker? (full quote)
13351 1) We're getting creamed. 2) Well if Florence Nightengale would play a little defense here. 3) I missed one shot. 2) It was a big shot. (full quote)
13365 You Gotta Spike Those Focker!!! (full quote)
14145 parents together: Pamela Martha Focker! (full quote)
14145 Focker here's a male nurse. (full quote)
14345 1)Now, Greg, you have a very interesting last name. Tell me how do you pronounce it? 2)Oh, just how it's spelled: F-O-C-K-E-R. 3)Focker. (full quote)
14345 1)Are you a pothead, Focker? 2)No! No, I pass on grass! (full quote)
14345 You let Jinxy out there without food water or toilet?! (full quote)
14345 (Mocking) 'You let Jinxy out there without food water or toilet?' Fucker! (full quote)
14345 1) Now what? You're gonna tell me you set Kevin's alter on fire?...heh heh...Oh my GOD! 2) It wasn't my fault! He put so much GODdamn laquor on that thing! (full quote)
14345 1)Gaylord M. Focker? 2)Yeah that's me. 3)I thought your name was Greg. 2)It is. 1)That's not what it says on the form. 2)I know that's my legal name. I haven't been called by it since I was in third grade. 4)Wait, wait, wait, so your name's Gay Focker?! Hahahaha! I'm sorry, it's just not a normal name, you know! (full quote)
14345 1)You threatened a stewardess with a bomb, correct? 2)I didn't threaten her! I said it's not like I have a bomb! 1)You still said 'bomb'! 2)what's wrong with saying 'bomb' on an airplane?! 1)You can't say 'bomb' on an airplane! 2)Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb! Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb! If I were in the army I'd be a BOMBbadeer! Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb... (full quote)
14386 How's your portafolio Greg? I'd say strong...to very strong (full quote)
14847 I have nipples Greg. Could you milk me? (full quote)
14847 You a pothead Focker? (full quote)
14961 1)...low down 2)down low 3)no doubt! (full quote)
15558 1) Greg is Jewish. 2) Hey, so was J.C.! (full quote)
15882 Jack - interesting color - you pick it? Greg - Oh no, guy at the counter did. Why? Jack - Well, they say geniuses pick green. But you didn't pick it. (full quote)
15882 Greg - Do you think that sounds good? Old Man - No. Greg - Really, because I think it... Old Man - NO! Greg - Oh,... oh sorry. Sometimes these catheters can pinch a little bit. (full quote)
18234 For the floor you're walking on I chose Bulivian warmwood. I think it works well. Over here is the viking range and there's the twin-sub z's. Are you a homeowner Greg? (full quote)
18244 I bet you would Panama Red. (full quote)
18244 Jack can't talk Tai. (full quote)
19761 You tried to milk her, didn't you. You sick son of a bitch. (full quote)
20781 Circle of Trust? Guess who's back in! (full quote)
21332 Bye Norm! (full quote)
  You missed the turn there Focker! (full quote)
  whats that, u dont know shit about flowers (full quote)
  Selfishly I tried to keep you here as the cancer ate away at your organs like an unstoppable rebel force... (full quote)
  Denny, you'll fill in for Jinx Oh no, im not wearing that dumb pillow on my head Oh yes you damn well will! (full quote)
  he put so much god damn lacer on that thing!! (full quote)
  You said bomb on an airplane! Bomb bomb bomb! bomb bomb bomb bomb! (full quote)
  OH Hello. I'm sorry. We are currently boarding rows 9 and above. We'll call your row momentarily. Greg: It's only one row don't you think..Attendant: SIr! please step aside. ...vacuum running in distance... Thank you for waiting. We will now begin boarding all remaining rows. I repear all remaining rows are now boarding. OH HELLO! (full quote)
  The matter, Greg RN... (full quote)
  Does this guy have a license? Yeah a license to kill! (full quote)
  We look forward to that, Greg. (full quote)
  1.)I said It's not like I have a bomb. 2.)You said bomb on an airplane. 1.) what's wrong with saying bomb on an airplane? 1. You can't say bomb on an airplane. 1.)Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb, bomb-bomb, Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. (full quote)
  1.)I said It's not like I have a bomb. 2.)You said bomb on an airplane. 1.) what's wrong with saying bomb on an airplane? 1. You can't say bomb on an airplane. 1.)Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb, bomb-bomb, Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. (full quote)
  I bet you would Panama Red (full quote)
  You might know it as a HOPA!! it only took me 70 man hours, which isn't bad considering I carved by hand from one piece of wood. This one goes out to Brent in Westwood!! (full quote)
  check my pulse on this one jack do i think your a psycho .........YES (full quote)
  oh you like my present jack my jeruselum tulipi poozley poot ya one more thing ..........CAN YOU DEAL WITH THAT? (full quote)
  So, you're Gay Focker!!!!!!! (full quote)
  Focker...Jinxy can't flush the toilet (full quote)
  I sure hope he has a license. Yeah, a license to kill. (full quote)
  Jack: Greg's a male nurse. Focker: Thanks.. Jack Kevin: Oh I would love to do volunteer work. just the other day i saw this golden Retriever, he had a gimp, i felt really bad, i wish there was something i could do. Focker: Well I get paid too so everybody wins. (full quote)
  1) Can you really trust another human being? 2)Yes I believe you can. 1)No. The answer is no you can not. (full quote)
  So what got you into carpentering? (full quote)
  whats going on in here? jesus dad, ya ever think of knockin. looks like rounding second base. (full quote)
  What is your most expensive bottle of wine? Mum's, its on sale for $13.95. You dont have like an 80 or 90 dollar bottle. Well you could buy a whole bunch of Mum's. (full quote)
  Gregg:Larry i missed one shot. Larry:IT WAS A BIG SHOT!! (full quote)
  Gregg: Larry i missed one shot. Larry: IT WAS A BIG SHOT!! (full quote)
  so much love yet so much informatin (full quote)
  Dad: Greg's Jewish Whoa so was J.C. (full quote)
  Dad: Greg's Jewish Whoa so was J.C. (full quote)
  Well I thought who's footsteps better to follow in than Christ's? (full quote)
  Jinxy cat, jinxy cat where are you, I...love...you! (full quote)
  Greg: Little geppedo couldn't get to the...the...um...teat Jack: Teat? Greg: what have you. (full quote)
  Oh yes you damn well will! (full quote)
  I was terrified of your father when I thought he was a florist. How do you think I feel now that I have a CIA spy hunter on my ass? (full quote)
  I tell you that tonight we shall have a wedding or a hanging either way we ought to have a lot of fun (full quote)
  The cat doesn't even have thumbs, Focker. (full quote)
  I'm a realist Greg, and I know that you've probably already had pre-marital relations with my daughter. (full quote)
  Its either my way, or the Long Island Expressway. (full quote)
  Dude were you just sniffin my boxers? (full quote)
  That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den so the sceptic tank overflowed (full quote)
  Oh, dear god, thank you, you are such a good god to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating god, and we thank you oh sweet, sweet lord of hosts for the...smorgasbord you have so aptly laid at our table this day, and each day, by day, day by day, by day oh dear lord three things we pray to love thee more dearly, to see thee more clearly, to follow thee more nearly, day, by day, by day. Amen. (full quote)
  Yeah, you gave me the wrong suitcase. Uh-huh. Yes, it's a black Samsonite. Uh-huh. Ok, well don't you think that the Samsonite people, in some crazy scheme in order to make a profit, MADE MORE THAN ONE BLACK SUITCASE? (full quote)
  Greg: Who'd have thought it wasn't about a dragon. Jack: Huh? Greg: You know...the whole drug thing..? Jack: No I don't would you like to tell me? Greg: Well some people think that to puff the magic dragon means to... smoke... a marijuana cigarette. Jack: Well Puff is just the name of the boy's magical dragon... Greg: Yeahh.... Jack:.............Are you a pothead, Focker? Greg: NO....I, I pass on grass- All the time. Well not all the time... Jack: Yes or no? Greg: No, I mean yeah....no (full quote)
  Debbie: We are not gonna postpone the rehearsal for some stupid cat. Jack: Stupid cat? How can you say that? That cat's been like a brother to you. And we're supposed to just let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet? (full quote)
  YOU TRIED TO MILK HIM YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! (full quote)
  Pam: where's the other camera? Jack: Right here in this decorative artifact. (full quote)
  Jack: Greg how come you don't like cats? Greg: I do like cats, I just prefer dogs... Jack: So you prefer an emotionally shallow animal? See, Greg, if you yell at a dog, his ears will go down and his tail will cover his genitals even if he's done nothing wrong. It's very easy to break a dog. But cats make you work for their affection. Cats don't sell out like dogs do. (full quote)
  I'm not comfortable wearing you dad's underwear. (full quote)
  I think I'm gonna go pay a little visit to the shower ferry..... (full quote)
  Alright now look Focker, I'm a patient man, thats what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you, but I will be watching you. Studying your every move, and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down baby, I will bring you down to China town. (full quote)
  GREG: So Jack, couldnt this be construed as illegal, you know, invasion of privacy? JACK: Trust me Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll understand the need for this level of protection. (full quote)
  JACK: I noticed you were looking at that when I came in. GREG: Yeah... JACK: Its an antique polygraph machine. GREG: Is that what that is, cuz I've seen these before but I never saw one actually up close. JACK: You know what? Why dont you try that on? GREG: Oh, thats ok. JACK: Oh come on, we'll have some fun, I'll show you how it works. GREG: Yeah, uh, I-I shouldnt. JACK: Well why should you be afraid you have nothing to hide. GREG: Heheheh- no, I know. JACK: I know you know, so there shouldnt be any problem. GREG: No, theres no problem. JACK: So, try it on. GREG: Ok. (full quote)
  JACK: I'll help you. Don't worry, you'll enjoy this. Alright. GREG: Looks complicated....now, these arent 100% accurate right? They're... JACK: Oh you'd be surprised how accurate they are. They can tell fairly easily if someones lying or not. (full quote)
  PAM: Well, why doesnt Greg go with you?...Sweety you'll need something incase your suitcase doesnt show up. JACK: Oh I'm sure it'll show up. PAM: Yeah, well you don't even have a toothbrush...come on sweety. GREG: Ok, um, unless you want some privacy. JACK: Why would I need privacy? GREG: ....No...I didnt think you would....I... (full quote)
  GREG: Great song. JACK: Yeah, one of my favorites. GREG: Who would have thought it wasnt really about a dragon? JACK: what do you mean? GREG: ...You know- the whole drug thing? JACK: No I don't know, why dont you tell me. GREG: Some people thought- think that to Puff the magic dragon means-they're really- um - to um - to smoke- um, a marijuana cigarette. JACL: Well, Puff is just the name of the boy's magical dragon... (full quote)
  JACK: Greg, how come you don't like cats? GREG: I don't not like cats, I just prefer dogs, I mean I'm just more a dog kinda- you know, come home and wagging the little tail, its happy to see you. JACK: You need that assurance do you? You prefer an emotionally shallow animal? GREG:....I JACK: You see Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down. A dog is very easy to break. But cats will make you work for their affection, they don't sell out the way dogs do. (full quote)
  JACK: Just be honest, I mean there are some things I hate. GREG: Really, like what? (awkward pause) (full quote)
  So wait a minute, your name's Gay Focker? (full quote)
  Greg Mocking Frank: Without food. drink or toilet! Fucker!! (full quote)
  Can I be Goose? - No, Goose dies at the end (full quote)
  Greg: Do you have any of those nicotine patches? Cashier: No, we have the gum... you chew it. Greg: Thanks.. also what is your most expensive bottle of wine? Cashier: Mums, its on sale for $18.99. Greg:Thats it? I mean I am trying to look for a 80 or 90 dollar bottle. Do you have any of those? Cashier: You can get a who bunch of mums! (full quote)
  You can't say bomb on an airplane (full quote)
  I will be watching you, nad if i find out that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, i will bring you down baby. (full quote)
  you said bomb on an airplane (full quote)
  you said bomb on an airplane (full quote)
  Are you a homeowner Greg? (full quote)
  your not taking my luggage BITCH, its not like i have a bomb, bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb (full quote)
  1) How's your portfolio? 2) I'd say strong....to quite strong. (full quote)
  You did it didn't you Focker... You painted the stripe to make it look like jinxy-cat. (full quote)
  what's wrong with saying bomb on an airplane? you can't say bomb on an airplane bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb! (full quote)
  I will bring you down baby, I will bring you down to Chinatown (full quote)
  (Jack)Gregs a male nurse. (Kevin) Wow thats great to give something back like that. Id love to do volunteer work Just the other day I saw this golden retriever and he had, like a gimp It just made me feel bad, wish there was soemthing i could do. (Greg)Well i get paid, so u know its kind of...Everybody wins. (full quote)
  Oh no I've just realised what Pam's full name will be. Pamela Martha Focker (full quote)
  Greg: Do you have any of those nicotine patches? Guy at Counter: Na, we got the gum......... you chew it. Greg: A..... thanks and do you have any shampaine. Counter: Yea we got Mums on sale for $13.95 Greg: Really you dont have any 80 100 dollars bottles (long pause) Counter: You could buy a bunch of Mums (full quote)
  i0 (full quote)
  {Who would have thought that the song really wasnt about a dragon?} [Huh?] {Well some people think that 'to puff the magic dragon' means to... puff... smoke... marijuana cigarettes} [Are you a pot head Focker?] {No! I pass on grass all the time..well not all the time} (full quote)
1335 1. So, what got you into carpentering? 2. Carpentry? I guess I'd have to say Jesus. He was a carpenter and I just figured if you're going to follow in someone's footsteps, who better than Christ? 1. Hmm! 3. Greg's Jewish! 2. Are you? 1. Yeah! 3. Mm-hmm! 2. Well, so was J.C. Wow! You're in good company! (full quote)
1454 1: I'm sorry, sir, you're gonna have to check that. 2: I got it. 1: No, I'm sorry, that bag won't fit. 2: No, no, I'm not--hey, I'm not checking my bag, okay? 1: There's no need to raise your voice, sir. 2: I'm not raising my voice. THIS WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU, okay? I don't want to check my bag, okay? And, by the way, your airline? You SUCK at checking bags, okay, because I already did that once and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me, okay? 1: Well, I can assure you that your bag will be placed safely below deck with the other luggage... 2: Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will be safe below with the other luggage? Huh? Are you physically going to take my bag and put it beneath the plane? Are you going to go right now outside, with the guys with the earmuffs, and go put it in there? 1: No... 2: No? Okay, then shut your piehole and listen to me when I say that I am FINISHED with the checking-of-the-bags CONVERSATION. (full quote)
8051 Jack talk Thai very well. (full quote)
10929 A fool in love. (full quote)
10929 A fool in love. (full quote)
10929 Danke Schoen. (full quote)
10929 Puff the Magic Dragon. (full quote)
10929 what's New Pussycat? (full quote)
10929 Poor me. (full quote)
10929 California girls. (full quote)
10929 Got to get my mojo working. (full quote)
10929 For once in my life. (full quote)
jmoneyhomeslice I'm through with the checking of the bags conversation! (full quote)
28233 1-If Florence Nightingale would play some defense. 2-I missed one shot! 1-It was a big shot! (full quote)
deliylah Guess who's back in the circle of trust? (full quote)
30125 Jack:Greg's a male nurse Greg:Thanks.. Jack. Kevin: Oh I would love to do volunteer work. Just the other day, ý saw this golden Retriever, he had a gimp, i felt so bad, i wish there was something i could do. Greg: Well i get paid too, so everybody wins (full quote)
30125 Kevin: Wow she's a Tomcat... hhuuuuhhh! (full quote)
30125 Jack: What're you driving there, a Ford? Greg: yeah, it's a Taurus. I was gonna get a midsize, but then, hey, I'm pullin down decent bucks, so i went all out and got a fullsize. (full quote)
30125 Kevin: So greg, what about you, what kind of work are you in? Greg: I'm in healthcare Kevin: yeahi so you know all about the biotech stock,i don't have to tell you that. How's your portfolio? Greg: I would say... stong..... to.. quite strong (full quote)
31152 It's only a game, Focker! (full quote)
31851 r u a pothead focker? (full quote)
32395 my mother by jack burns u gave me life u gave me milk u gave me courage your name was angela the angel from heaven but u were also an angel of god and he needed u too selfishly i tired to keep u here while the cancer ate away ur organs like an unstoppable rebel force but i couldnt save u and i shall see ur face nevermore nevermore nevermore until we meet in heaven (full quote)
32395 are you a pothead focker? .....no i pass o grass all the time wel not all the time no yes no (full quote)
35618 I'm done, with the checking of the bags.. conversation! (full quote)
38482 HEY GLEN, DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE ball. HIS NAME IS GREG,GREG IS AFRAID OF THE ball. (full quote)
anne benoit We're all out of Collins mix so I'm gonna make a run for the store (full quote)
anne benoit I pass on grass (full quote)
anne benoit 1) You are the most adorable, loving, sweetest man in the whole world, and I love you and very soon my parents are going to see that...and grow to love you too, okay? 2) Speaking of growing to love you.. 1) Honey, it's late 2) I know it's late, but Mr. Winky is still on Chicago time and we both know there's only one way to make Mr. Winky go away...(knock on door), and there it is. (full quote)
anne benoit Oh one more thing, I'm a realit. I understand it's the 21st century, and you've probably had premarital relations with my daughter, but under my roof it's my way or the Long Island Expressway (full quote)
anne benoit Were you just sniffing my boxers dude? (full quote)
anne benoit 1) Dad keeps you guys under a pretty close watch, huh? 2) No, it's not that bad. your little Pamcake's got it a lot worse than I do (full quote)
anne benoit Like what you done with the crib....(looks up at poster on the wall)..Oh, L'il Kim....She's phat...PH phat. (full quote)
anne benoit Guess who's back in the circle of trust? (full quote)
anne benoit Greg, that's an urn which holds the remains of Jack's mother (full quote)
bigclaude Were you just snffing my boxers dude? (full quote)