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Miss Congeniality - 2000 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  Grace: Do I have to wear the swimsuit? Boss: Yes. Grace: Ok...what do I do? (full quote)
4364 I'm getting chip-faced. (full quote)
4066 You think I'm goregous, you wanna kiss me (full quote)
  #1. we can't have pizza and beer! #2. it's lite and she's gonna throw it up anyway! (full quote)
  long.. luxurious bubble baths (full quote)
  you love me, you wanna hug me, you wanna kiss me (full quote)
uglystars 1. Are you kidding? I was a female Rain Man! 2. Definitely not a female Rain Man. Def-definitely not. (full quote)
5251 That is one really, really purple Russian! (full quote)
5251 Peanut-eating bastard! (full quote)
5251 Donut Nazi! (full quote)
5520 1)You have to glide, like this. 2)That takes a very secure man. EXCUSE ME I'M GLIDING HERE! (full quote)
1980 1.Yeah yeah... 2. Yes! (full quote)
3225 Oh Jesus Christ!!! *room gasps* Oh, my father please forgive me for taking a bite of my bagel before praying (full quote)
  Shut up Eric, I'm tired, I'm starved and I'm armed, so don't mess with me! (full quote)
4358 1-If you weren't a girl, I'd beat your face off. 2-Yeah? Well if you weren't a girl, I'd beat your face off! 1-Are you callin' me a girl? 2-You called me one! (full quote)
4358 Well I don't like you. Now everybody thinks I need a girl to fight for me. You are a dork-brain! (full quote)
4358 Check it out...Ivan's package (full quote)
4358 Awe Jesus, the woman's ass is in the way! (full quote)
4358 No sir, he's not gonna die like this, sir. His victims didn't get a chance to choke on a peanut, did they, sir? (full quote)
4358 Drop the guns or I'll kill her. (full quote)
4358 You're not killing anyone you peanut eating bastard! (full quote)
4358 How's your head, my little piroshki? (full quote)
4358 Come on, you made a choice. It was wrong, but that's it. It's over. By the way, you look like hell. (full quote)
4358 1-Sir, aside please. Sir, it's an emergency. Official business. Ma'am, aside, please. Thank you. Official business, sir, ma'am. Emergency please step aside sir. 2-Hey, hey, hey, get lost I'm waiting here. 1-FBI, you might wanna stay outta this, all right, sir. Excuse me. Sir, ma'am, please, back off. All right, I need...eight double-tall--eight double-tall lattes. One with no foam. Five ice vented decaf percent lattes with the long straw. Four caramel macchiattos. Double up on the cup, I gotta long way to go. I need two blueberry scones with the little granules on top...and one Starbucks complilation CD...NO! I would like... (full quote)
4358 1-Look, just relax, all right. Don't annoy him. Don't say anything. Don't argue. 2-I don't argue. I never argue. When do I argue? I might have a heated discussion with somebody when I might get very passionate about what I say, but-- 2-Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it! (full quote)
4358 Arson, explosives, poison...this guy never works the same way twice. (full quote)
4358 I realize I didn't exactly follow orders... (full quote)
4358 Hey Mike, gimme a pint (full quote)
4358 Milk. Give her milk. (full quote)
4358 Do all the women in the Bureau have to wear those really masculine shoes? (full quote)
4358 I am somewhat less than amused. (full quote)
4358 Ah, no. I get these made special by the same guy that put the tatoo on my ass! (full quote)
4358 Hey, hey, hey, watch the hands garcon (full quote)
4358 I'm sorry? What was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow...rolling around in your wide-open trap. (full quote)
4358 And I have...Dirty Harriet! (full quote)
4358 1-Excuse me? What is your problem? 2-Problem? 1-Yeah. I mean, yes. I mean, have I offended you in some way? Because quite frankly you've been antagonistic to me from the second I walked in that door. (full quote)
4358 Oh my god! I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park! (full quote)
4358 Oh yeah, well it's been working really well for me for the past 30 years, all right? (full quote)
4358 Well, glide, now. Glide. (full quote)
4358 It's not the bloody Ice Capades! (full quote)
4358 1-Why are you picking your feet up? 2-Because I am preparing to run away! (full quote)
4358 1-It's all in the buttox. Don't I look pretty? 2-It takes a very secure man to walk like that! (full quote)
4358 Hey! I'm gliding here! (full quote)
4358 Entering Barbie Town... (full quote)
4358 With some intensive work, she'll be ready for the world's finest trailer park. (full quote)
4358 Hopefully remove the beer stains and steak residue... (full quote)
4358 I don't need that will all this foil in my head I'm getting HBO! (full quote)
4358 1-Pageant identity. 2-Gracie Lou freebush?! 1-Yeah, I remembered you liked that name! 2-Yeah well my IQ just dropped 10 points (full quote)
4358 I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I am starved and I'm armed. Don't mess with me! (full quote)
4358 Ok, Gracie Lou, listen up. Operation Thong has commenced! (full quote)
4358 Why don't you go stun-gun yourself (full quote)
4358 One little mistake and I'm a bellhop (full quote)
4358 I memorized the orientation pamphlet. I know all 49 ladies by name and picture. Well, 50 including myself. (full quote)
4358 your picture wasn't there, so I knew it was you from your lack of picture! (full quote)
4358 1-Are you talking to me? 2-Yeah I'm talking to you, I'm looking at you! (full quote)
4358 what are you apologizing for? She obviously been drinking too much Coppertone! (full quote)
4358 1-Question: In Hawaii don't you use 'aloha' for like hello and goodbye? 2-Soooo? 1-So if you're on the phone with someone and they won't stop talking how do you get them off because you say ok take care, 'aloha'. Don't they like start all over again? (full quote)
4358 Oh Jesus Christ! Ah! Ah, ah, oh, I-ah, I'm sorry, I, ah, I had a bite of my bagel and I forgot to pray. Dear Jesus, please forgive me for not praying before I had a bite of my bagel and schmeer. Thank you very much. (full quote)
4358 I made some of my famous hot chocolate! (full quote)
4358 Oh, no, I was just, you know...I was grooming (full quote)
4358 Oh well, ah, my roommate's asleep, or she's starting to mold. But ah, do you, do you wanna come in? (full quote)
4358 1-Well, here's to...world peace! 2-...world...peace... (full quote)
4358 1-You should tell jokes for your talent. What is your talent? 2- Um, it's, ah, it's kinda like, ah it's you know, like ah, it's like a surprise. Yeah, yeah, oh but don't worry, it's nothing embarassing. You know, not anything like, you know, baton twirling or anything. So, ah, what's, what's your talent? (full quote)
4358 Twirling. It can be ah, a real art... (full quote)
4358 I saw a girl once, a cheerleader doing it at a football game. And she lit the batons on fire and did this sexy dance. I wish I could do something like that. (full quote)
4358 Oh my parents don't like anything ostentatious. And they really don't like fire. (full quote)
4358 You don't walk, you float... (full quote)
4358 That's it! Excuse me! I am in the middle of a REM cycle over here. (full quote)
4358 You know, right now there's a huge gap between my brain and my spinal cord. (full quote)
4358 By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent? Sing? Dance? Chew with your mouth closed? (full quote)
4358 I will do whatever you want me to, Yoda. (full quote)
4358 Agent Matthews! This woman has no talent! (full quote)
4358 I'm saying that tomorrow she'll be on stage with nothing to do but convert oxygen into carbon dioxide! (full quote)
4358 Happy? You doughnut nazi! (full quote)
4358 Hey, you also said you couldn't make he beautiful in two day, and look at her now, look how gorgeous she is. I mean, compared to the car wreck she was before... (full quote)
4358 1-You think I'm gorgeous...you want to kiss me...you want to huge me-- 2-Look, I think McDonald is more feminine. I'd ratehr kiss him. 1-You love me...you want to hug me...you want to smooch me...you want to-- (full quote)
4358 1-You think I'm gorgeous...you want to kiss me...you want to hug me-- 2-Look, I think McDonald is more feminine. I'd rather kiss him. 1-You love me...you want to hug me...you want to smooch me...you want to-- (full quote)
4358 Well, you might wanna call the network and the pageant people. Set up a meeting. Because you'll probably need their cooperation at some point. (full quote)
4358 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Now I'm thinking...undercover... (full quote)
4358 Hart, shouldn't you be at a desk? (full quote)
4358 I'm not gonna parade around in a swimsuit like some airhead bimbo that goes by the name, what, Gracie Lou freebush, and all she wants is world peace! (full quote)
4358 1-Come on, look, you do a few butt-shaping exercises, tighten this up, you could pull this off. 2-You know what? Pull this off! (full quote)
4358 Don't kid yourself. Nobody thinks of you that way. (full quote)
4358 This may come as a shock to you, but I've never been in a beauty pageant before. I don't even own a dress. I don't even own a brush. (full quote)
4358 Let me get you Victor Melling's number. Frank. He's a pageant consultant. Frank. Maybe he can do something to help. Frank! (full quote)
4358 All right, hundred bucks on Matthews. 2-I dunno man, She's got a lotta rage...I'll take that bet. (full quote)
4358 what could possibly motivate anybody to enter a beauty pageant is beyond me. (full quote)
4358 So join the marines. It's like feminism never even happened. You know? (full quote)
4358 I think any women that do this is catering to some misogynistic neanderthal mentality. (full quote)
4358 Excuse me. This is not a beauty pageant. This is a scholarship program. And it has been ever since my reign. I fully intend on maintaining that credo. (full quote)
4358 Absolutely Miss Morningside. We're here to protect the girls. Women. Scholarship ladies. (full quote)
4358 1-I'd rather cancel the pageant then have one of them blown up. 2-Especially without their knowledge. (full quote)
4358 And the performance in a little film called Arma Get It On! (full quote)
4358 If you are Grace Hart, I quit here and now. (full quote)
4358 1-Are you hungry? 2-Yeah. 1-Yes. 2-Yeah. 1-Yes. 2-Yeah. 1-It is always 'yes', never 'yeah'. (full quote)
4358 Do not mess with the dress! (full quote)
4358 1-So then what's wrong with me? I date, I go on dates. I know everybody here thinks I haven't had a date in about 10 years. Is that what you think? 2-Nah, I think you date. 1-Damn right I do. But you know, both times it was totally screwed up. (full quote)
4358 1-You wanna know why I picked you? 2-Lost a bet? 1-Because you're smart, because you don't take any crap from people, you're funny, you're easy to talk to when you're not armed. (full quote)
4358 Give yourself a break. Cut Vic and the other pageant ladies some slack. 'Cause if they ever get a chance to see what I see then, they're gonna love you... (full quote)
4358 I mean, in all honesty, I might let you down. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna try my best not to. (full quote)
4358 Ooooooh, Vic's gonna kill you! You in big trouble! (full quote)
4358 Those better be candy dishes! (full quote)
4358 Oh good, I guess it's time to apply at my local Hooters! (full quote)
4358 Look, the last time I was this naked in public I was coming out of a uterus, okay!? I don't have any breasts. My thighs--I should be wearing a muumuu. Really. Look, I have been avoiding this experience my entire life. (full quote)
4358 You must achieve a Zen-like state... (full quote)
4358 K, Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama... (full quote)
4358 One time I stole red underwear from the department store. My mother wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were Satan's panties. (full quote)
4358 1-I would have to say, world peace. 2-Definitely, world peace. 3-That's easy, world peace. 4-World peace. (full quote)
4358 1-What is the one most important thing our society needs? 2-That would be harsher punishment for parole violaters, Stan...and...world peace... (full quote)
4358 That was charming. Are you drunk? (full quote)
4358 Now excuse me, I hafta go unscrew my smile. (full quote)
4358 1-Describe your perfect date. 2-That's a tough one. I'd hafta say April 25th...because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket. (full quote)
4358 Leg waxing, fake orgasms, the inability of men to commit... (full quote)
4358 1-Just imagine she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. what would you do? 2-You want me to beat it out of her? (full quote)
4358 I can't talk girl talk with a guy in my head. I can even do it with me in my head. (full quote)
4358 1-Are you crazy? We can't have pizza and beer! 2-Do you know how many calories you're talking about? 3-Ah, it's lite beer and she's gonna throw it up anyway... (full quote)
4358 First step, pizza. second step, flaming batons... (full quote)
4358 Yeah, it's fun.It's so fun it should be illegal. Speaking of illegal, like, have you ever like, committed a crime? (full quote)
4358 McDonald called. He saw Hart's little anti-smoking commercial. He's on his way down. (full quote)
4358 what's her talent, bartending? (full quote)
  Enjoy running for the San Antonio women's Correctional Facility Pageant (full quote)
  She said they were Saatan's panties. (full quote)
  Its never yah. Always yes. (full quote)
  1.ah, ya got a little problem there.2.what she's perfect.1. look to the left,down,down,down.2.on maternity leave, thats not gonna work.1. not inless it's the MISS LAMOZ pageant!snort snort. (full quote)
  You can't beat a deaf-mute. (full quote)
  1) are you asking me out on a date? 2) no, just a casual dinner. if we happen to have sex afterwards, so be it. (full quote)
  ahhhhh....... bikini wax (full quote)
  wait georgia gets to wear a one peice!!!! (full quote)
  i've got gel in my hair, gunk on my face, im tired, im starved, and im armed dont, mess with me (full quote)
  GRACE: Augh! Which ones the lipstick? (While shes looking at eyeshadows) (full quote)
  1/ This girl has no talent 2/ Now wait a mintue there is something i can do but i just haven't dont it since highschool. 2/ OU ARE NOT HAVING SEX ON THIS STAGE! (full quote)
  1/ This girl has no talent 2/ Now wait a mintue there is something i can do but i just haven't dont it since highschool. 2/ YOU ARE NOT HAVING SEX ON THIS STAGE! (full quote)
  1/ This girl has no talent 2/ Now wait a mintue there is something i can do but i just haven't done it since highschool. 2/ YOU ARE NOT HAVING SEX ON THIS STAGE! (full quote)
  Gracie: I would so love to hurt you right now! Vic: As long as you smile! (full quote)
  1) Sir, he's turning purple -- that is one really purple russian sir (full quote)
  you think i'm gorgeous (full quote)
  1) What, no armored car? 2) That would be in my other dress. (full quote)
  HEY! i'm glidin here! (full quote)
  You ate pizza, you stole panties, you're a wild woman! (full quote)
  Operation Thong has commenced. (full quote)
  What? No armored car? That would be in my other dress. (full quote)
  *you think im gorgeous, you wanna date me,love me and marry me!!!* (full quote)
  *you think im gorgeous, you wanna date me,love me and marry me!!!* (full quote)
  1.are u crazy? u can't bring pizza and beer in here! 2.one.its light beer! and two, y? shes just gonna throw it up anyway! (full quote)
  they have they're texas cowgirls and their california beauties and I have...Dirty Harriot... (full quote)
  Vic: This girl.. She has no talent! I wasn't told to provide a talent and I'm not going to! Gracie: Wait.. I have something.. I have done it since high school, but ya know it's kinda like riding a bike. Vic: You are NOT having sex on the stage!! Gracie: Aaaah! I didn't know that was an option! Look.. all I have to do is call room service! (full quote)
  Gracie: Ouch! Can I get some novacaine? Dentist: It's just a cleaning. Gracie: No, not you, Sweeny Todd back here. What are you doing? Stylist: Trying to untangle it. Gracie: Well as long as it doesn't say, Thank you very much for the country Music Award. (full quote)
  she been drinkin to much coppertone (full quote)
  its light beer and she's gonna throw it up anyway (full quote)
  yea she is making the sequel to armageddon, arma-get-it-on! (snorts) (full quote)
  Entering barbietown. (full quote)
  Both painful and grotesque, isn't it? (full quote)
  As they say in Russia... etot borscht ochen' vkusnyj!!! (full quote)
  as they say in Russia:'etot borscht ochen vkusnyj!' (full quote)
  First step cheese pizza, second step FLAMING batons! (full quote)
3378 1) Nice work Mr. Vik! 2) Thank you. 1) Wow! 2) My God. I'm good. (full quote)
4358 why's that, miss erin mcginn? (full quote)
4358 Oh, good, perfect. 'Cause I'd hate for him to fire me over the phone. (full quote)
4358 Oh! Oh, that guy? No, no, I, I, I, I, I, I was dating him for a little while because he told me he had an incurable disease. Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize it was stupidity. He is such a pathetic loser. It's like I'm sorry he's obsessed with me, but at some point it's like 'Hello! Move on! Get over yourself!'. I mean, his ego was like this big, but his equipment was like this big! (full quote)
4358 In a very bizarre incident at the Miss United states preliminaries, the contestant from New Jersey leapt off-stage and tackled a man in the crowd who was just trying to light a cigarette. (full quote)
4358 Well, as you know, all the contestants are actively involved in trying to end America's dependence on tobacco. So needless to say, I think the gentleman will think twice before he lights up again. (full quote)
4358 Of course he had a gun. This is texas. Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun! (full quote)
4358 I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers. (full quote)
4358 1-Miss Morningside, every operation his bound to have its screw ups. 2-As I can see, she's still with us. (full quote)
4358 Look at this. Liberace's got her in a nice evening gown. (full quote)
4358 I would so love to hurt you right now. (full quote)
4358 You know, I've been fighting all my life against your type. The ones who think we're just a bunch of worthless airheads. You know who I mean. Feminists...intellectuals...ugly women. But I refuse to give in to their cynicism. That's why I have dedicated my entire life to this scholarship program. And no one's going to ruin that. Not this year. You get in my way, and I will kill you. Do you understand? (full quote)
4358 Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown. (full quote)
4358 You kow, I don't appreciate your selfishness and immaturity when I'm working as hard as I am. (full quote)
4358 You know what, I am an FBI agent, all right? I'm not a performing monkey in heels. (full quote)
4358 In place of friends and relationships you have sarcasm and a gun. (full quote)
4358 Oh I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain! (full quote)
4358 None of your damn business. Oh the judges probably never heard that before. (full quote)
4358 'How do you feel about gun control'? Favourable. (full quote)
4358 Yeah I'm the job. We're all the job. (full quote)
4358 You ate pizza, you stole panties, you're a wild woman! (full quote)
4358 Yeah I hate it when I don't see that wet paint sign. (full quote)
4358 Really? Why don't you jump on her dressed like a Bavarian fruitcake? (full quote)
4358 You're shutting up enough for the both of us. (full quote)
4358 Don't do that. That slow, creepy thing in the shadows. your father used to do that. (full quote)
4358 And...I really do want world peace! (full quote)
4358 1-what? COme on, don't look at me like I just betrayed you. 2-No. Betrayal implies an action. You just stood there! (full quote)
4358 Okay, Vic. Beautify me. hair, makeup, shellac, whatever it is that you do. Where is that shiny stuff that you keep putting on my lips? (full quote)
4358 I've taken a woman without a discernable smidgen of estrogen and transformed her into a lady. (full quote)
4358 You are truly unique. If I ever had a daughter, I imagine that she would be something like you. Which is perhaps why I have never reproduced. (full quote)
4358 1-what, no insults today? 2-You're a Don Ho. (full quote)
4358 1-Do me a favour, would you please do back to the mothership? 2-As long as you go with me Tex-Ass! 1-Jerk! (full quote)
4358 A sniveling, obsequious weasel of a human being. (full quote)
4358 I knew I'd never getcha here unless you had the chance to shoot someone. (full quote)
4358 Now you can wear Satan's panties! (full quote)
4358 1-Wait a minute. I'm not with him with him. It's not like that. 2-Come on, muffin. (full quote)
4358 Frank, what? Disgusting, perverted Frank? (full quote)
4358 Hey hey what are you doing? You're drinking my talent! (full quote)
4358 I once had a girl who could rearrange furniture. (full quote)
4358 good evening. I know the ah program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but ah, some of the girls got dehydrated... (full quote)
4358 I would like to bring out my assistant, Eric Bob. (full quote)
4358 Use the heel of you hand and thrust it upwards. This will cause the nose to break and your assailant's eyes to tear, giving you a chance to get away. (full quote)
4358 Oh, little Eric looks a little scared...maybe he needs a little bit of applause... (full quote)
4358 If all else fails, go for the four sensitive areas of the body. But just remember to sing. S-I-N-G. Solar plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin! Sing! (full quote)
4358 Leslie Williams is a music major. She believes in the healing power of music. Loves opera, reggae, and, like any true California girl, the Beach Boys. (full quote)
4358 Cheryl Frasier is a science major. Her field is nuclear fission with a minor in elementary particles. (full quote)
4358 You think I'm gorgeous, you wanna date me, love me and marry me! (full quote)
4358 1-I know I'm gonna miss the heels 'cause they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts. 2-Funny, me too! (full quote)
4358 For Kelly Beth Kelly, all the world's a stage. A theatre major, she helps run a drama program for underpriviledged children. (full quote)
4358 Gracie Lou freebush hopes to become a pediatrician. Her hobbies include figure skating, water ballet, and talking long, luxurious bubble baths. (full quote)
4358 Mary Jo Wright is a psychology major. In her spare time, she works in a homeless shelter and eats as much mexican food as she can get. (full quote)
4358 I just wanna let all the lesbians out there know if I can make it to the Top 10, so can you! Big out to Brooklyn! Yo! (full quote)
4358 And we'll be right back with our final five lesbians--Interviews. (full quote)
4358 1-Bumper. commercial. Can we say lesbians? 2-You gotta problem with that? (full quote)
4358 In a way, America is like a big ship. When we work together and respect each other, that's when the ship gets safely home. (full quote)
4358 Well I would have to say, I used to be one of them. And then I came here, and I realized that these women are smart, terrific people who are just trying to make a difference in the world. And we've become really good friends. I mean, I know we all secretly hope the other will trip and fall on her face, but--Oh wait a minute! I've already done that!...And for me this experience has been one of the most rewarding...and liberating experiences of my life! (full quote)
4358 Yes. Wear the crown. Be the crown. You are the crown. (full quote)
4358 And if anyone, anyone, tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much that they'd wish they were never born. And if they ran, I would hunt them down...Thnak you Kathy. (full quote)
4358 Listen, I was thinking, ah, you know, when we get back to the city, after we write our reports and you get all ugly again, I dunno, maybe we could have dinner? (full quote)
4358 Enjoy your running in the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional Facility Pageant! Ha ha ha, get it? The Women's Correctional Facility-- (full quote)
4358 1-They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant. 2-Hey, hey, it is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program! 1-Yeah, yeah. 2-Yes! (full quote)
4358 1-You think you saved something tonight, but all you did was to destroy the dream of young women all over the country! 2-What, you think their dream is to get blown up? You know, you got a really good shot at that insanity plea. (full quote)
4358 1-Miss Hart, you don't understand. All I'm guilty of is trying to make the world a more beautiful place. Look at yourself. Why, when I met you, Dennis Rodman looked better in a dress. But, but now you're a lady! I did that! 2-No, Vic did that, and a team of highly specialized federal manicurists, and people who make you look like, you know, beautiful! (full quote)
4358 Don't worry Miss Morningside. I'm sure where you're going, they'd love to meet a former beauty queen. (full quote)
4358 A brief shining moment, and then that mouth! (full quote)
4358 I was right in the middle of my song, and then there was this big explosion! (full quote)
4358 Jersey's goin' berserk! (full quote)
4452 I'm in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starving, and I'm armed. Don't mess with me. (full quote)
6968 This broads got two asses (full quote)
6968 1.)Don't mess with the dress. Ahh. Ooh Vic is gunna kill you. 2.)What you look good wet (full quote)
7105 Hey, this is not a beauty pagaent, remember, it's a scholarship program. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yes! (full quote)
7639 matchbox kicks ass is fucked in the god damn head! (full quote)
8217 It's fixed,I'm in the top 5,congratulations to me! (full quote)
8217 I'm sorry....What was the question? I was distracted by the half massacated cow rolling around in your wide open trap! Grace: Excuse me,what is your problem? (full quote)
8217 Oh my god.....I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park!! Grace: Well it's been working pretty well for me for the past 30 years,alright? (full quote)
8217 what is the one thing our society needs? Gracie: That would be.....Harsher punishment for parole violators,Stan.........and........World Peace.(Crowd cheers) (full quote)
8217 This broad's got two asses! (full quote)
8217 (Grace)Look,he had a gun. (Cathy)This is texas. Everyone has a gun! My florist has a gun! (Stan) I don't have a gun...my ancestors were quakers. (full quote)
8217 (Stan):I'm sorry....What was the question? I was distracted by the half massacated cow rolling around in your wide open trap! (Grace): Excuse me,what is your problem? (Stan): Problem? (Grace): Yeah, I mean yes......I mean, have I offended you in some way? Because quite honestly you've been completely antagonistic to me since the second I walked in that door. (Stan): Did you know that I was once the most sought up in Pageant history? (Grace): I had no idea! (full quote)
8217 (Eric) She's doing a paper on Law Enforcement.I'm giving her an inside look. (Grace): and I bet she'll do the same for you. (full quote)
8400 My parents don't like anything ostentacious. And the really don't like fire. (full quote)
8487 1) The guy had a gun 2) This is texas, everyone has a gun. Hell, even the florist has a gun! (full quote)
8585 1) O finally, hairspray, something i actually recognize. O hey what the hell are you doing?? 2) It keeps the suit from riding up. 1) Riding up where? 2) Just....up! (full quote)
8698 Harsher punishments for parole violators Stan!....and....World Peace (full quote)
9193 oh if i only had a brain (full quote)
9193 She's totaly trashed. (full quote)
9769 you....light up my life...... (full quote)
9841 Don't need that-with all this foil on my head, I'm getting HBO (full quote)
10053 You think i'm gorgeous, you wanna date me! (full quote)
10053 Betrayed implies an action, you just stood there! (full quote)
10140 You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me, you want to hug me, you want to love me, you want to date me. (full quote)
10456 Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called The Garden State? Gracie Hart: Because Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State wouldn't fit on a license plate? (full quote)
10584 This is you not arguing? Cuz you suck at it. (full quote)
11170 I will do whatever you want me to, Yoda (full quote)
11288 ive got gel in my hair, i haven't slept for twelve hours, i'm starved and i'm armed, DON'T MESS WITH ME!! (full quote)
11288 1)now listen to me you old fruitcake! 2)now...now you cupcake! (full quote)
11442 Those better be candy dishes! (full quote)
11531 1)HEY!!!! I'm gliding here! 2)what are you blind?!?! 1)asshole. (full quote)
11684 you drank beer, you stole panties, your a wild woman! (full quote)
11684 have you ever, like, comitted a crime? (full quote)
11684 she's kickin' his ass! (full quote)
12187 1)OOOOOWWWWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOWWW! 2)Bikini Wax... 3) Ohhh.... (full quote)
14017 You think I'm gorgeous, you wanna date me, love me, and marry me. (full quote)
14017 1.Look, this may come as a shock to you, but I've never been in a beauty pageant before. I don't even own a dress, I don't even own a brush! 2. Now, which part of that was supposed to shock me? (full quote)
14115 Eric:operation thong has comenced. Gracie: Why don't you go stun gun yourself. (full quote)
14647 I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park> (full quote)
14736 Jesus-!! Oh I'm sorry, I just...I forgot to pray before taking a bite of my bagel. (full quote)
15263 Hey watch it! I'm gliding here! Ass-hole!!! (full quote)
19580 1) You are NOT going to have sex on this stage! 2) Ah! I didn't know that was an option! (full quote)
19580 You're smart, you're funny, you're easy to talk to...when you're not armed. (full quote)
21034 Morningside: 'They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant.' Gracie: 'Hey, hey, this is not a beauty pageant, this is a schoolarship program' Morningside: 'Yeah, yeah!' Gracie: ' Yes!' (full quote)
21034 Gracie: 'Problem, gentlemen?!' The boy: 'Hey, dork-brain, if you weren't a girl I would beat your face off!' Gracie: ' If you were a girl, I'd beat your face off!' Him: ' You call me a girl?!' Her: 'You call me one!' Him: 'O-oh, you asked for it!' (full quote)
21034 I mean, his ego is like this big! And his equipment is like this big!.. Actually you can use it like a needle. (full quote)
21034 Look, she's gonna cry again - if I only had a brain!!! (full quote)
21034 (Miss Morningside): New jersey, as you may know there are many who consider miss United States pageant to be outdated and antifeminist. What would you say to them? (Grace): Well, I would have to say I used to be one of them. And then I came here and I realised that these women are smart... terrific people who were just trying to make a difference in the world. And we've become really good friends. I mean, I know we all secretly hope the other will trip and... and fall on her face, but... wait a minute I 've partly done that. (Public laughs) And for me this experience's been one of the most rewarding... and liberating experiences of my life. (Applause) (Vic): My god, I did it!!! (Grace): And if anyone... anyone tries to hurt one of my new friends I would take them out, I would make them suffer so much, that they'd wish they were never born. And if they ran I would hunt them down. (Silence, whisper) Thank you , Kathy. (Vic): A brief , shining moment and then that mouth! (full quote)
21034 This guy's like an inch from death. (full quote)
21034 I-I don't know what to say... except for... why can't I wear this at work? Never thought anything like this would ever happen to me. I mean, I kinda hoped that it wouldn't, now that it has - I just wanna say that I'm very... very honoured... and... moved... and... truely touched... And I really do want world peace!!! (full quote)
21034 Those better be candy dishes!!!! (full quote)
21034 what? Hemorrhoids ointment? You really think the judges are gonna be looking that closely? (full quote)
21045 I would have to say, I used to be one of them... But when I came here, I realized that these women are smart terrific people who just try to bring something different in the world. (full quote)
21045 Gracie to Ivan: 'Lozhitsya na pol!!! Na pol! Bistro!!!' (Translation from Russian: Get down on the ground!!! On the ground! Now!!!) (full quote)
21045 young Gracie: 'Well, I mean... I like you!' The boy: 'And I don't like you! Now evryone thinks I need a girl to fight him. YOU ARE A DORK-BRAIN!!!' Gracie hits (full quote)
21045 Mrs. Morningside: 'All I am guilty of is trying to make the world a more beautiful place. why... look at yourself - when I met you, Dennis Rodman looked better in his dress, but now you're a lady. I did that!' Gracie: 'No, Vic did that and the highly specialized FBI make-up team. People who make you look, you know, look beautifil... You know what - you're under arrest. Get in the car!' (full quote)
23823 Wear the crown. Be the crown. You are the crown. (full quote)
beth You're from Hawaii right? Yeah? Well don't you guys use Aloha for hello and goodbye? So? Well isn't that really confusing? Cos if you're on the phone to someone and they won't stop talking how do you shut 'em up? Cos if you say OK, take care, Aloha, don't they like, start all over again? (full quote)
  texas! New Jersey! (starts walking and falls on her face) Oh Shit!! She's up and ok! (full quote)
  where your going the will love to meet a former beauty-queen. yeah when he says meet he means meat! (full quote)
  One time i stole red underwear from the department store, my mother wouldn't buy them for me she said they were satans panties!! (full quote)
  -What is your idea of a perfect date? * oo thats a hard one..um, i'd say April 25th, cuz its not too hot, not too cold, al you need is a light jacket. (full quote)
  Can i get another one of these..tubey things? Uh yeah can we get another uh tubey...? (full quote)
  Washington, nice apples. (full quote)
  Instead she's out there dressed like a bavarian fruit cake! (full quote)
  Victor: How do you feel about gun control?..favorable (full quote)
  Stan: what is one thing that we as a society needs today? Graie: that would be harsher punishments for parol violators stan..silence..and..world peace..applause! (full quote)
  Hs equiptments this big*holds index finger close together* But his egos THIS big* holds arms up far apart (full quote)
  Have fun at the mall. (full quote)
  you think im gorgeous you wanna kiss me (full quote)
  1 Have you every commited a crime? 2 Yes, yes i have. One time i stole red underwear from the department store. my mother wouldn't buy them for me. she said they were satin's panties! (full quote)
  1 Gracy Lou freebush? 2 Yeah, I remember you liked that one. 1 Well, my IQ just dropped ten points. (full quote)
  Mr. Matthews~ OOOOOOOoooooohhhhhhhhhh! Boss~ Not really is my color is it? (full quote)
  (1)Hey! Hey! I got it. I haven't done it since High School, but maybe..(2)You are *not* having sex on that stage!(1)Uhh, I didn't know that was an option, all right? For this thing, all I need is room service. (full quote)
  (Gracie rips all of her guns, etc. out of her dress) Vic: What, no armored car? Gracie: That would be in my *other* dress. (full quote)
  Woman:Hey gentleman you can't go in there... oh Victor. Vic:He's with me. Eric:Hey wait a minute I'm not with him with him. *Puts arms aroung Eric* Vic:Oh come on muffin. (full quote)
  What? No armored car? That would be in my other dress. (full quote)
  Now there is a hardened criminal (full quote)
  Oh look shes gonna cry again 'OH! If I only had a brain!' (full quote)
  Oh Jesus Christ *room gasps*. I took a bite of my bagel and forgot to pray *drops to her knees*. Dear Jesus Thank you for this wonderful bagel and schmear. (full quote)
  Grace:What the? Victor: The only way I knew I would get you here is if you got to shoot someone. (full quote)
  Look I am an FBI alrite. I'm not a performing monkey in heels. (full quote)
  1. Washington, nice apples. 2. Original did you come up with that all by yourself? 1. No! (full quote)
  vic: why is New Jersey called 'The Garden State'? Gracie: Because its to hard to fit oil and petra-chemical state on a liscense plate (full quote)
  #1 No armed car? #2 That would be in my other dress (full quote)
  Viktor: They have there southern belles, there midwestern farmers daughters, and i have... Dirty Harriett. (full quote)
  I am in a dress, I'm in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept, I'm starved, and I'm armed, don't mess with me. (full quote)
  I forgot my breats. Hold on, I'll be back! (full quote)
  Jesus Christ aww! Oh! I, uh, had a bite of my bagel and I forgot to pray. Dear Jesus, please forgive me for not praying before I took a bite of my bagel and shmeal. Thank you very much. (full quote)
  Just pretend that its me and I won't tell you something. You want me to beat it out of her? (full quote)
  You want me to beat it out of her!? (full quote)
  I'm fine... I'm cool... I'm good (full quote)
  in Hawaii don't you use aloha for hello and goobye? So? Well what if you're on the phone and you can't get the person to stop talking do you just say okay take care aloha don't they just start all over again? (full quote)
  my roommates sleeping...i guess she's starting to mold (full quote)
  my roommates sleeping...i guess she's starting to mold (full quote)
  i have sarcasium when every word cummin out of your mouth is dripping with disstain. (full quote)
  (Eric)Ok Gracie, operation thong has commenced...(Gracie)Why don't you stun gun yourself. (full quote)
  1: what would you say would be your idea of an ideal date 2: hmm, that's a toughie. . . i'd have to say april 15. not to hot, not too cold. all you need is a light jacket! (full quote)
  Are you asking me out on a date? No. Just a casual dinner. If we happen to have sex afterwards, so be it. (full quote)
  Grace: Are you asking me out on a date? Eric: No. just a casual dinner. If we happen to have sex afterwards, so be it. (full quote)
  1) Rhode Island: descride your idea of a perfect date. 2) I'd have to say, April 25, it's not too hot, and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket! (full quote)
  There's a gap between your knees and your calves, your calves and your ankles. (full quote)
  great job team (full quote)
  Well you all just go back to you little bicycles and I'll sit here with my really large cheesy pizza. Oh, look at all that cheese. (full quote)
  1. You took your earpiece out, Vic needs you! 2. Eric, I haven't slept in TWO days! 1. I'll give you a cookie. 2. Better be a big one (full quote)
  If I only had a brain! (full quote)
  Check it out, Ivan's packin' (Not, his package. Reference to the gun in view, not his junk.) (full quote)
CarmiCrowe #1: Miss Morningside, every operation is bound to have its screw-ups. #2: As I can see, ours is still with us. (full quote)
10929 None Of your Business. (full quote)
10929 Mustang Sally. (full quote)
10929 She's A Lady. (full quote)
10929 You Light Up My life. (full quote)
10929 Dancing Queen. (full quote)
10929 The Queen Of The Night. (full quote)
10929 That was charming. Are you drunk? (full quote)
10929 None of your business. (full quote)
10929 Mustang Sally. (full quote)
10929 She's a lady. (full quote)
10929 You light up my life. (full quote)
10929 Miss United states. (full quote)
princesstigereyes I haven't seen a woman like that since Jurassic Park! (full quote)
24986 Have fun at the MALL! (full quote)
24986 Frank, get me Mellin's phone number and for godsakes tuck in your shirt! (full quote)
cyree Never yeah, always yes (full quote)
26770 1)This woman has no talent! 2) Gee (1), you don’t have to shout it out right in front of her. (full quote)
28804 Yeah, and when he says 'meet' he means M-E-A-T ! (full quote)
28804 those better be candy dishes (full quote)
28804 hairspray finally something i recognise...ahhhhhhhh what are you doing? (full quote)
30083 They had their southern belles, midwestern farmers daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and i have....dirt Harriet. (full quote)
30219 and if anyone...anyone tries to hurt one of my new friends, I will take them out. I would make them suffer so much, they'd wish they had never been born, and if they ran... I would hunt them down. Thank- you Kathy. (full quote)
peacock2 1) Part of that job is using your brain Eric. Just take the rule book and throw it out the window. 2) I like knowing what I can and can't do. I would like to keep my job for the next twenty or thirty years, thank you very much. (full quote)
33899 Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me--she said they were Satan's panties! (full quote)
34712 You think I'm gorgeous. You want to kiss me. You want to hug me. You want to love me... (full quote)
34712 Ofcourse he had a gun; this is texas, everyone has a gun. My florist has a gun. (full quote)
anne benoit This broad's got two asses (full quote)
anne benoit Not unless it's the Miss Lamaze pageant (full quote)
anne benoit With some intensive work, she'll be ready for the world's finest trailer park (full quote)
anne benoit Hey New Jersey, this seat is empty (full quote)
anne benoit She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone (full quote)
anne benoit Hey, hey hey hey, what are you doing? You're drinking my talent (full quote)
40361 1)what, no armoured car? 2)No, that would be in my other dress. (full quote)
40361 1)Agent Matthews this woman has no talent! 2)Well jeez Vic, you don't have to yell it out in front of her. 1) I was not told to equipped her with a talent and i'm certainly not equipped to do so in the next 5 hours! 2) Hey you doll her up by the morning or... 1)Or what cupcake? 2) Who you calling a cupcake? Fruitcake! 3)Hey, hey, hey! There's something i know how to do, but i haven't done it since high school. 1) You are not having sex on this stage! 3)Uh... I didn't know that was an option. no for this all i have to do is call room service. *walks away* 1)Miss Hart... the donut. *gives the donut* and the other one. *gives other donut* *walks away* *dog barks* 3)Alright, alright alright. DONUT NAZIS! (full quote)
40361 Operation thong has commenced (full quote)
40361 1)Of course he had a gun. This is texas. Everybody in texas has a gun. My florist has a gun. 2)I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers. (full quote)
43265 *holding out a tube of Preparation H* Do you really think they are going to be looking that closely? (full quote)
43400 Once I stole a pair of red panties from a department store! (full quote)
lizajane OOOh .....your in trouble now i"m telling Vic (full quote)