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Road Trip - 2000 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  E.L:invested?who are you charles schwab (full quote)
darricke Hey Jack, have that bitch make me some blueberry pancakes...right now! (full quote)
4066 Manilow, Barry's last name is Manilow? As in Barry Manilow. (full quote)
  A short cut is supposed to be hard otherwise it would be called the way. (full quote)
3384 It's not cheating if you rub peanut butter on your testicles and let your dog lick it off. (full quote)
4248 We're in college now... the opportunity to drink alcohol, do drugs, and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller and smaller by the day. (full quote)
4248 We're in college now... the opportunity to drink alcohol, do drugs, and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller and smaller by the day. (full quote)
  hunny, your boner! - what do you want me to do, CUT IT OFF!! (full quote)
  hunny, your boner! - what do you want me to do, CUT IT OFF!! (full quote)
4500 hey, old man, i got the fucking munchies rrreeeaalll bad! how about you? (full quote)
4500 1)excuse me. this really is an oquared question, do you have any marijuana i might be able to buy from you? our car exploded last night and i'm practacly all out of my own. 2)do i look like a drug dealer? no, but thanks for asking. would you like something else, perhaps a 12 yr. old prostatute sent to your room, we can do that. or perhaps we could off someone for you. i know, we'll start small, how about a fresh towel, maybe you can roll that up and smoke it. (full quote)
4599 Kyle: Well I guess that counts me out! Ahhh. . .Cause I had sex last night. . .WITH A GIRL! :) (full quote)
4616 I give it 20 minutes until we're ass raped. (full quote)
4646 1. Have you come for the feeding? your early. You should come tomorrow, its going to be a blood bath.2. I'll pass. (full quote)
4646 It will be ok, it's just the wheels.(explosion) (full quote)
  I boiked her! (full quote)
5070 Will you fucking eat 'im? (full quote)
  Think about Josh you're in college... the window of opportunity to drink and do drugs, and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day. I'm telling you, if you pass this up it will haunt you for the rest of your days, your dick will never forgive you (full quote)
  Unleash the furry Mitch, UNLEASH THE FURRY (full quote)
  did you just say the word boinked?? (full quote)
3225 Are there any guys out there who are JUST NORMAL! (full quote)
3225 No, there is hope, and it comes with batteries (full quote)
6252 what did you do?!?...Kill a leapord?? (full quote)
6252 It's good. (full quote)
6252 Did I say two fingers?....better make it three. (full quote)
6252 what did you do, kill a leopard? (full quote)
6252 I dunno...I think I'll go call my dad first... (full quote)
  1) he's a nice guy 2)...It's good (full quote)
  Well, I've had sex before. Just never with a girl (full quote)
  (blind lady)Do not roll your eyes at me! (full quote)
6873 It can't be easy being Josh' penis (full quote)
  its not chating if u have different area codes (full quote)
  1. You want me to use 2 figures? 2. Did I say 2 better make it 3? (full quote)
clarkins UNLEASH THE FURY!!!! (full quote)
clarkins Racist? But I watch Oprah Winfrey everyday. (full quote)
  Racist? I can't be racist. I watch Oprah evryday! (full quote)
7745 Di Did ya make a copy? cause if ya made a copy we could watch the copy. (full quote)
7319 Ya gonna fuckin eat him? (full quote)
7869 Oh That's not fair...How come she gets to see the tape and we don't! (full quote)
7869 Will you listen to yourself?! You're 19 years old and your a fuckin' sissy! (full quote)
  Oh ok, how about we start small, maybe a fresh towel?Maybe you can roll that up and smoke it (full quote)
  Good mornin to u- and u - and u- n u!..........I had the best night,..TWICE! and once this morning!! (full quote)
  #1) Are you going to pass that doobie or what? #2) Doobie? (full quote)
  By the way, cheech, that credit card you gave me was maxed out, so don't go spending all your cash on guns and needles just yet. (full quote)
  1) You wanna bet? 2) Right, like I'm gonna bet money on something you can't prove. 1) *looks at camera* 2) YOU tapeD IT! (full quote)
  Yeah, I've had sex before...just never with another person. (full quote)
  something tells me the people of earth might need me (full quote)
  he's in austin, austin massachusetts.....you mean boston massachusetts....yea thats what i said (full quote)
  Its supposed to be a challenge, thats why its called a shortcut, if it were easy it would just be the way. (full quote)
  1: you mean never? Not even once? 2. Well, I've had sex before...just never with a person. 1: riight. (full quote)
  Am I a drug dealer? No, I am not. (full quote)
  I boinked her! (full quote)
  Geez Man she is not a happy meal. (full quote)
  You gonna fuckin eat him? (full quote)
  BOB HOPE COULD JUMP THIS IN A GOLF CART. (full quote)
  IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEbody WAS RAPED & MURDERED HERE LAST NIGT.HOW CAN YOU TELL?I JUST HAVE THIS FEELING. (full quote)
  HEY,SONNNY.ARE YOU GONNA PASS THAT DUBER? (full quote)
  what's that? Oh my God did you kill a cheetah? (full quote)
  It's supposed to be difficult that's why they call it a shortcut. If it were easy it would just be the way. (full quote)
  Did you make a copy? Because if you made a copy, then we could watch the copy. (full quote)
  Dont look at me Kyle I did not make up the rules (full quote)
  what did you kill a cheetah (full quote)
  Stop, stop! WHOOAA ok keep doin' it!!! aawhoohahahawhooooaaaaaaaaaaa....*eep*! (full quote)
  Tiny salmon swimming in the stream... Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream The mynah bird says *caw* *caw caw* The chimpanzee says EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE The friendly owl says *hoo* *hoo hoo* But the salmon can only say.... Bleulueleuleulllueleuleuluelueullueuelueuleeu (long pause) And it's sad.... (full quote)
  Tom Green-Tiny salmon swimming in the stream, tiny salmon chasing that imposible dream. The Mina bird says awww aw awww. The chimpanzee says eeeeeeeeee. The friendly owl says whooo who whooo. But the salmon can only say bluuu bluuu bluuuu....and it's sad (full quote)
  Tiny salmon swimming in a stream, tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream, the minabird says UR UR UR, the chimpanzee says EEEEEEEEEEEE,the friendly owl says,Hoo hoo hoo, but the salmon can only say, Bloobloobloo, And it's sad (full quote)
  If you don't really remember it... It never really happened. (full quote)
  What else am i gonna do? Stay here and learn?? road trip! (full quote)
  Come on... Come on.... You gonna fucking eat 'em? (full quote)
  Boy you better go after these kind of girlz now cause soon u r gonna be 40... and you will have to pay for these kind of women (full quote)
449 engines have rotator splints....ummm yea (full quote)
449 sir this credit card is over it's limit......son you go back over there and run that thru...i did three times sir, it says it's over it's limit....we've been coming here for 10 years....we've only been open 8 (full quote)
7869 E.L.) Bob Hope could jump this thing in a golf cart! ::Honks a lougie::: ::Bridge Breaks:: Roubin) Yea Well...Better make it 75. (full quote)
8188 1) what a bitch!! 2) Did she sound hot? (full quote)
8188 You're all cock and no balls (full quote)
8190 So, anyway, Josh got a B+ on his mid-term, he got to stay in college, and I'm happy to report that He and Beth are still together. They're still really into making their, home movies, and they have about 70 minutes of unedited amateur video. It's pretty wild! I know because I bought some of it on E-Bay! (full quote)
8190 As for Jacob, he left school tom become some leader of a cult in Iowa. Eventually, he tried organizing a mass suicide. He drank the kool-aid first, after that, everyone kind of changed their minds........too bad!! (full quote)
8190 eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me-e-eat me! (full quote)
8190 He's tasty, Mitch, He's tasty! (full quote)
8190 1. This is the Ithaca Memorial Library. It was built in the early 1600's. 2. It says 1951 on it. 1. That's the address, k?, wise ass. (full quote)
8548 what else am i gonna do? stay here and learn? ...road trip (full quote)
8548 what the hell is that? did you kill a cheetah? (full quote)
8713 that is...the coolest thing...anyones ever done for me (full quote)
8713 u guys wanna smoke some drugs (full quote)
8713 u realise this is a national black fraternity? they know ur lying (full quote)
8772 Do you know what's your problem, your too much brain, not enough Cock and Balls!! (full quote)
9334 Wait, wait, i got one. Its not cheating if you spread peanut butter all over your testicles, and your dog licks it off- cuz its your DOG!! get it? (full quote)
9363 I Do Not...Have Time...To Be Walking, THROUGH THE WOODS RIGHT NOW! (full quote)
9588 Do you have anything with Asian chicks. I have this thing for Asian chicks and these magazines just don't seem to be doin' it for me. (full quote)
9935 (when the guys are on the bridge) DAMN IT! Yep!......I give it about 20 minutes until our next....ass raping. (full quote)
10336 EL: It isn't easy being Josh's penis. I've been in here three months now and I feel like I'm in a coma! I wish I was your dick, EL, because this is torture. If I don't get some action soon, I'm just gona pack up my balls and leave! (full quote)
10345 what'd you do, kill a cheetah? (full quote)
MaggieForMargaret Tiny salmon swimming in a stream. Tiny salmon chasing the impossible dream. The myna bird says caw, caw caw The chimpanzee says EEEEEEEEEE The friendly owl says who, who who But all the salmon says is BLBLBLUUUGHGHUUHUUHUUHUUHUUH... And it was sad. (full quote)
11654 that's not fair... how come she gets to see the tape and we don't? (full quote)
11654 1: this will save us 5 hours minimum. 2: maybe we should go back to the interstate. 2: we're not going back, have some faith, it's supposed to be hard. that's why they call it a short-cut, if it was easy, it'd just be the way. (full quote)
11654 1: No! if you feed him too much he could die. 2: so, it'd be worth it. (full quote)
11654 1: No! if you feed him too much he could die. 2: so, it'd be worth it. (full quote)
11654 over there is the english department, i see most of you already speak english so we can skip it. (full quote)
11654 what else am i gonna do, stay here and learn? (full quote)
11654 i just said we'd make it across, i didn't say anything about the wheels falling off. (full quote)
12276 1)...I need a wine cooler...2) Here, have mine (passes scotch) (full quote)
13204 Dude! what did you do? Kill a cheetah? (full quote)
13204 Dude! what did you do? Kill a cheetah? (full quote)
13204 I had sex...................with a woman. (full quote)
13204 It's her underwear. She gave them to me.(He sniffs them)GUYS IN THE backGROUND: aahh! gross! (full quote)
14345 (singing) The tiny salmon swimming in a stream, the tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream, the mina bird says AHH! Ahh AHH! The chimpanzee says E-E-E-E-E-E-EEEEEEEHHH! The friendly owl says HOOO! HOO HOOO! But the salmon can only say BLBBBLUBBLUBBULBLUBBBLUBB! and it's sad. (full quote)
14740 I've got one. It's not considered cheating if you spread peanut butter all over your testicles and have your dog lick it off...because it's your dog. (full quote)
14847 One of you is marked for death. (full quote)
18531 Am I a drug dealer? No I am not. Thank you for asking. (full quote)
18531 You're already cheating. Every time you pass up sex your cheating on yourself. (full quote)
19275 Rubin: This is kind of an unusual request, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? You see, our car exploded yesterday and I'm almost out of my own. (full quote)
19423 1: I stole it from a blind chick. 2: I said I didn't want to know. 1: I'll give it back...........probably. (full quote)
19481 We're going to Austin, are you sure you don't want to come? Nope, I've never really liked Massachusetts. That's Boston, you're thinking of Boston. We are going to Austin...Austin, TX. Oh...yeah. (full quote)
19481 It's supposed to be hard Kyle...that is why they call it a shortcut. If it was supposed to be easy they would just call it the way. (full quote)
1ajas Barry, get the lights. It's boner time! (full quote)
1ajas (singing) The tiny salmon swimming in a stream, the tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream, the mina bird says AHH! Ahh AHH! The chimpanzee says E-E-E-E-E-E-EEEEEEEHHH! The friendly owl says HOOO! HOO HOOO! But the salmon can only say BLBBBLUBBLUBBULBLUBBBLUBB! and it's sad. (full quote)
1ajas No, there is hope and it comes with batteries. (full quote)
1ajas We can make it. (full quote)
30916 -Honey, ur boner! -Well what do ya want me to do, cut it off? (full quote)
30916 (dog)Hey Jack! Have that bitch make me some blue-berry pancakes...right now! (full quote)
  Barry, hit the lights. It's BONER TIME! (full quote)
  tiny salmon swimming in the stream...... tiny salmon chasing the impossible dream... the minor bird goes caw caw caw..... the old friendly old goes hoo hoo hoo and the chimpanzee goes eeeeeeeeeeeee but the salmon only goes bloob (full quote)
  What the hell happened to you last night? You're bouncin' around here like you're Richard f*ckin' Simmons. (full quote)
  I'm starting to question this whole college thing. I didnt know there would be this much reading involved (full quote)
  YOU'RE A WRESTLER? desk ATTENDANT:THAT'S RIGHT MARY (full quote)
  barry:tiny samon swimming in a stream/tiny samon chasing that impossible dream/the mytha bird says caw(E.L. echos caw)/the chimpanzee says eeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllll/ the friendly owl says hoo hahoo (full quote)
  josh: good morning every one good morning every one how are you and you and you bary: what are you so happy about? josh:do i seem happy? EL:well your bounching around here like your Richard fucking simons (full quote)
  Fast forward to the horney stuff (full quote)
  (when el gets the bus) (convo between him and the blind chick) blind lady:good morning / El:hello/ blind lady: hi how may i help u/ El: yea hi i was sent over here bus 111 and im afaid i have some bad news u seem to be having problems with the rotator splint/ Lady: engines have rotator splints/ EL yea she runs good now but not for long i can have it back to u as good as new in less than a week/ lady:Lets see well jereds still in aliquippa i take it he called u from there/ el: yea 5 days i think we can work that out will u pleaz not feed my dog/ el: i didnt / lady: u did so u cant feed seeing eye dogs treats like that theyre specailly trained so id appreciate it if you left him alone/El rolls his eyes)/ Lady: dont roll ur eyes at me/ elwaves hands in front of her face)/Lady flips him off (full quote)
  Kyle: It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off, cause it's your dog, get it? (full quote)
  E.L.: So were driving? Josh: your comming? E.L.: Yea what else am I supposed to do sit here and learn.....Road Trip. (full quote)
  Josh: Well Kyle I certaintly hope you got all the boinking out of your system cause we got a lot of driving to do today, and dont get you hopes up about visting grace, its all about the mission at hand Ruben: Josh that sounds like a good idea except for one little thing. Josh: Whats that? Ruben: Were outta money. (arrive at sperm bank) (full quote)
  C'mon Mitch, Ya gonna fuckin' eat him? (full quote)
  if he doen't see any action soon. well, he'll just pick up his ball and move on (full quote)
  are you here for the feeding? (full quote)
  (penis talking) If I don't get out of here soon, I'm about to pack up my balls and leave. (full quote)
15002 Well thats me out coz i had SEX last nite, with a girl! (full quote)
15002 what do u look for in a girl..NOOOOOOOO..crrr....hey look i can see myself on TV! hey look its my butt...i can see my butt!! HEHEE ITS BARRY!! why would you send this to me?? (full quote)
30916 Hey old man! I got the fuckin munchies reeeaaal bad...how bout you? (full quote)
40905 (plucks guitar string)Unleash the fury, Mitch. (plucks guitar string again)Unleash the fury. (full quote)
44862 Heee's probably jacking off. (full quote)
45511 You're already cheating. Everytime you say no to sex, you're cheating on yourself. (full quote)
45511 The window of opportunity to drink, do drugs, and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day. (full quote)
45700 ...because it's your dog. (full quote)
jrm261 It's supposed to be a challenge that's why it's a shortcut, if it were easy it would just be the way. (full quote)