Movie Quotes Bank


MovieQuotes runs by contribution by its talented members. We would like to thank all members for submitting quotes to make this site possible. We are growing by leaps and bounds with many new movie quotes listed daily.

2015 will be another great year with some blockbuster movies, so come back often and enjoy your favorite movie line and quotes all in one easy place. Don't forget to bookmark our site and your favorite quotes pages.

If you would like to additional quotes, please visit the Submit Quote page. Find your favorite here.





Joe Dirt - 2001 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
10155 Think these are queer? (full quote)
10155 life's a garden--dig it. (full quote)
10155 Better an outlaw than your in-law. You heard me? (full quote)
10017 at least it was'nt hot chili day (full quote)
10205 is this queer, is this queer...........whats up (full quote)
10205 i got a mike right here........i even got a backup mike.............test test, one-two one-two (full quote)
  Joe:you finished with that apple core? Man at oil rig: Nobut im finished with that fart, you want that? (full quote)
  luckily my neck broke my fall (full quote)
  I got the poo on me (full quote)
  Robby: You alright Dirt? Joe Dirt: Yeah, I'm cool. Robby: No you're not. (full quote)
12087 Joe Dirt: I got a mike right here... I even got a backup mike... and they don't like no feedback. (full quote)
  You like to see homos naked? (full quote)
  This where ya wanna be when Jesus comes back? (full quote)
  You're my sister. You're my sister. (full quote)
  Gas-O-line....Breakfast of Champions (full quote)
  Awe....That's not professional! (full quote)
  Zander: You mean to tell me that you're so ingrained with white trash DNA that your facial hair grows in....on it's own...all white trashy like that..? (full quote)
  Brandie's Dad at the RR track: That dog better be bringin' somebody. (music that follows while Charlie get's a little: Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yea bow wow yippie yo yippie yea ) (full quote)
  Wanna fight? Why dontcha stick you're head up my butt and fight for air? (full quote)
  Keep that SCOAL baby....datswhati'mtalkin'about ! (full quote)
  You can come out now..... (full quote)
  Most kids would've been scared, but I was all tough about it. (full quote)
  That's a Big ole frozen chunk of Shit. Whahhhh! (full quote)
  Not that I'd ever sale ya meteor..not in a million years. But just fer kicks, let's see how much yer worth. (full quote)
  Here on earth, we call this place a town. Town's where everybody's mean to ya and the kids all try to beatcha-up. (full quote)
  This here's Rocky & he ain't no puppy. (full quote)
  Now this mo-fo knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt. (full quote)
  Why don't you go practice fallin' down, I'll be there in a minute (full quote)
13352 Well look who it is, dirty Joe Dirt (full quote)
12276 1) I'm here for work, name's Joe Deer-tay. 2) Don't try and church it up, son, don't you mean..... (full quote)
12276 Awwwww, crybaby, why dontcha git yerself a Wahhhburger and some French Cries.... (full quote)
12276 (falls off bridge with bungee cord around his ankles...) DAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG (full quote)
12276 Why don't you go practice fallin' down.....I'll be there in a minute. (full quote)
12276 Match? You wanna match? I gotta match, my face and your ass...no wait...your ass and my face...yeah...wasssup. (full quote)
12276 1- (thick cajun accent) home is what you make it. 2- You like to see homos naked? 1- Naw naw naw...home is what you MAKE it. 2- Yeah yeah, you like to see homos naked. ok then whatever... (full quote)
13821 Son, thats not a meteor thats a big petrified ball of shit! (full quote)
8487 1) That's not a meteor. That's a big pile of frozen shit! 2) what? N-no. That's a meteor. It fell from the sky. 1) I'm sure it did, cause it fell from an airplane. See the peanut there? 2) Maybe it's space peanut. 2) Yeah. Nope, that's a big ball of frozen poopy. (full quote)
15087 Joe: I'll get this puke cleaned up likity split. Speakin of likily split, lets get together later and see what's goin on. I'm kiddin, but seriously, let's hook up. I'm new in town, kinda lonely, lookin for my parents.....Girl:Well, the pukes right over there, it's a pretty big pile of puke... (full quote)
15104 guy in studio: do you use the stuff with the scrubbing bubles? Joe: they clean the bowl so you don't have to.... no i didn't. (full quote)
15104 hey 1969 called they want their hair style back. (full quote)
  What'd you say? Whoa! You're talking to me all wrong. It's the wrong tone! If you do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. (full quote)
  - The peanut's a dead giveaway. - That's a...umm...that's a space peanut. (full quote)
  Joe Dirt: So you're gonna tell me that dont have no Black Cats, no Roman Candles, no Screaming Meemies? Kickin' Wing: No. Joe Dirt: Oh come on man, you don't got no Ladyfingers, Buzz Bottles, Snicker Bombs, Church Burners, Finger Blasters, Gut Busters, Zippedy-doodas, Crap Flappers? Kickin' Wing: No, I don't. Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand and tell me you dont have any Whistling Bungholes, no Spleen Splitters, Whisker Biscuits, Honkey Lighters, Hüsker Düs, Hüsker Don'ts, Cherry Bombs, Nipsy Dazers, with or without the Scooter Stick, or one single Whistling Kitty-chaser? Kickin' Wing: No. Joe Dirt: Why? Kickin' Wing: Because Snakes and Sparklers are the only ones I like. (full quote)
  BAM! Does your mother sew? (full quote)
  JOE:WHAT AM I SAYING?I JUST callED MY SISTER HOT. (full quote)
  IS THIS WHERE YOU WANNA BE WHEN JESUS COMES back, MAKIN' FUN OF POOR LITTLE JOE DIRT (full quote)
  You, show me them boobies! (full quote)
  yeah, you're right, that's definately what we should do.....but first (full quote)
  YOU KNOW, I'M ONLY DOING THIS FOR YA 'CAUSE I HEARD THAT BUFFALO BOB GUY SHOVED A ROAD FLARE UP your BUNGHOLE. (full quote)
  You gotta keep on keepin on ya know,lifes a garden dig it?you never give up. (full quote)
  It puts the lotion on! (full quote)
  It puts the lotion on it's skin! (full quote)
  Oil rig worker: you wanna fight. Joe: how bout i stick your head up my but and let you fight for air. (full quote)
  Keep that scoal baby, thats what I'm talking about. (full quote)
  Keep that skoal baby, thats what I'm talking about. (full quote)
  Joe: Wheres the puke? teacher: its over there Joe: I'll get taht cleaned up lickety split, speaking of lickety split we should get together later, see whats goin on, nah im just kidding, but seriously, we should hook up. teacher: Yeah, so the puke piles over there, its a pretty big pile of puke. (full quote)
  you wanna rule three? how bout my face in your ass...i mean your ass in my face, whats up? (full quote)
  go over there, practice fallin down ill be there in a minute. (full quote)
  I'm new, I don't know what to dooooo! (full quote)
  I like you metetor. You're cool. (full quote)
  Keep On Keepin' On (full quote)
  OK, OK, IM PUTTIN' THE LOTION ON THE SKIN. GEEEEZ. LOOK THE LOTION IS ON THE SKIN. NOW WE HAD A DEAL. SEND ME DOWN MY auto TRADER MAGAZINE. (full quote)
  one time i was jerkin' my gerkin' (full quote)
  You got something to say to me? Speak into the mic i got a back up mic right here testing one two testing yup they both work and they dont like feedback. whats upppppppp (full quote)
  Why don't you talk into the microphone? i got backup mic right here, check one two (full quote)
  Buffalo Bob: It puts the lotion on! It puts the lotion on the skin! Joe: Dang man i hear ya, say it dont spray it. Buffalo Bob: It does what its told! (This is the police we have the place surrounded) Joe: Hey little help, it puts the joe dirt in the hole. (full quote)
  Buffalo Bob: It puts the lotion on! It puts the lotion on the skin! Joe: Dang man i hear ya, say it dont spray it. Buffalo Bob: It does what its told! (This is the police we have the place surrounded) Joe: Hey little help, it puts the joe dirt in the hole. (full quote)
  Buffalo Bob: It puts the lotion on! It puts the lotion on the skin! Joe: Dang man i hear ya, say it dont spray it. Buffalo Bob: It does what its told! (This is the police we have the place surrounded) Joe: Hey little help, it puts the joe dirt in the hole. (full quote)
  Buffalo Bob: It puts the lotion on! It puts the lotion on the skin! Joe: Dang man i hear ya, say it dont spray it. Buffalo Bob: It does what its told! (This is the police we have the place surrounded) Joe: Hey little help, it puts the joe dirt in the hole. (full quote)
  Hey, your talkin to my guy all wrong, wrong tone, you do it again and ill stab you in the face with a saudering iron! - Christopher walkens, in Joe Dirt (full quote)
  Robbie spins dirt on him from his tires... Joe Dirt: That's okay man. I'm cool. Robbie: No you're not. (full quote)
  As oil rig explodes all over and Joe holds on to the pipe... Joe Dirt: I'm new. I don't know what to do! (full quote)
  I got a name for your car, how about rusty (full quote)
  I got the poo on me! (full quote)
  it puts the lotion on its skin (full quote)
  no what we got here is a giant chunk of frozen poopie! Oh gross you were eating off that! (full quote)
  you wanna fight? how about you stick your head up my butt and fight for air? haha (full quote)
  you done with that applecore? (fart) I'm done with that fart you want that? (full quote)
  You're talking to my guy all wrong. It's the wrong tone. Do it again... and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron... (full quote)
  Hey kickin wing, when you get big, I'd change your name to Kickin Ass... (full quote)
  whereS MY SUPPLIES? (full quote)
  If i told you, you had a nice body.Would you hold it against me? (full quote)
  zander kelly-joe u livein in a boiler room(joe) yeah i got a couple places (full quote)
  hey 5dollars right on. ur my lucky meteor. (full quote)
  life's a garden, dig it. (full quote)
  Giving up is not an option, brother. You gotta keep on keepin' on. (full quote)
  Watch the guns, baby. That's how I get the gals. (full quote)
  Joe: Hey, ya done with that apple Oil Man: Heh, Im done with that fart. Want that? Joe: If it came outta Chralene Tiltons ass Oil Man: You probably like J.R. you queer, I saw your bummper sticker. Cowboy butts drive me nuts Oil Man:You wanna fight? Joe: Wanna stick your head up my butt and fight for air? No,Seriously I cant I gotta get back to work. Boss: Joe Dirt, your fired, heres your first weeks paycheck ::Joe Fights Oil Man:: Joe: You may have won the battle but I won the war Oil Man peeeing on fire:uhhh Yea Joe:note to self, Dont piss on a fire when youre covered in oil ::girl walks by and Joe kisses her:: Joe: Keep that skoal baby (full quote)
  -I got a good name for this car. Rusty. -Shit'll buff out. (full quote)
  No you're talkin to me all wrong! It's the wrong tone. Do it again and I'll stab you in the face with a sowry iron. BLOOM! does your mother sew? get her to sew that (full quote)
  it does what its to told (full quote)
  it does what its told (full quote)
  Talk in the microphone I got a back up mic right here. check one,two testing testing,yeah they both workin and guess what? they dont like no feed back wassup ? (full quote)
  Naw man , but you gotta keep goin. What am i gunna do, quit? Naw man you gotta keep on keepin on. life's a garden, dig it?! You gotta make it work for ya. You never give up. Thats my philosophy (full quote)
  Do you honestly think your little six can match Joe's 427 Hemmy? Balls to da wall. (full quote)
  Why did you leave me there at the garbage that day at the Grandy Canyon? Hell, I dunt care if I see yall for another 25 years. (full quote)
  You bring the jingle, I'll bring the jangle, your people meet my people we'll get together. (full quote)
  It puts the lotion on its Skin! You have no idea what kind of hell i can bring you!! (full quote)
  You see Joe, I'm not really your sister. So we can have sex again....What's wrong Joe? Don't I turn you on?....You wanna go back to thinking I'm your sister?....I'm your sister I'm your sister I'm your sister (full quote)
  Joe:Why are trees good, why's the sunset good, why are boobies good? (full quote)
  Why dont you go down to McDonalds and get you a whine-burger and some french cries. How bout a whinekin? You little sissy boy, DEAF LEOPARD SUCKS! (full quote)
  why dont we go to mcdonalds and get you a wineburger and some french cries (full quote)
12708 Signed brandy XOXO (full quote)
15417 Carson Daly: Uh, you're not supposed to drink the bong water, ma'am... (full quote)
15534 It puts the lotion on its skin. (full quote)
17094 They're large, in charge and lookin' for chickies (full quote)
17374 So, you wanna come in? We can have sex! (full quote)
PsYcHiLL Im not your sister, so we can have sex again. (full quote)
PsYcHiLL Is this thing through yet? How much is in it? (full quote)
PsYcHiLL **talking to Kicking Wing** Then you can change your name to kicking ass, that's what I'd do. (full quote)
19637 Rule #1, I'm #1 (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Joe: If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? Jill: Sure will. Do you want to go back to my place? Joe: Sure do (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin What's the deal with your hair? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus? (full quote)
24074 You wanna match, my face and your ass... I mean your ass and my face, what's up! (full quote)
24074 does your mother sew? [boom] get her ta sew that! (full quote)
24542 You're talking to my guy all wrong... It's the wrong tone. Say it again, and il stab you in the face with a soldering iron. (full quote)
26325 1: It puts the lotion on the skin! 2: Say it dont spray it, i need a towl 1: It does what its told! 2: Okay, i'm putting the lotion on the skin, i'm rubbing it in. between the two of us the thing with the dog is goming off a little fruity (full quote)
26480 You're talking to my guy all wrong. Do it again and I'll stab you in the face with a sautering iron. (full quote)
28164 You think you can mash that slant six against this 426 Hemi, well BRING it on little boy, WOOHOOO!! (full quote)
FLaMiNGo Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back? (full quote)
  It's ok, his balls are just stuck to the porch! go get me some pam and a spatula. (full quote)
  Nu-Uh, you cant have no in your heart. your KickingWing, and one day you'll be Kickingwing the animal doctor...then you can change your name to kicking ass...I would. (full quote)
  whats the story here im a white trash idiot. (full quote)
  i think im go to the restrooms and take a big Joe. dont forget to whipe your dirt (full quote)
  i told them meteor. You had my back, you're cool. (full quote)
  why dont you talk into the microphone, i got a backup mic. right here *blows* check one two testing testing yup they both work and guess what? they dont like no feedback was up was up. (full quote)
  Why don't you and me get naked and start the revolution (full quote)
  I thought I broke my Ass bone. (full quote)
  joe-kickin'wing make it stop! (full quote)
  ooooh look at that shit, man we are gonna get so busted, lets get out of here (full quote)
  ooooh look at that shit, man we are gonna get so busted, lets get out of here (full quote)
  I'd love to beat your ass up and down this place, but i got to get back to work. (full quote)
  Oh yeah, you are....i mean you aren't...worth it. (full quote)
  whadda farreak mann your goin ta hell you just said yerr sisters hott (full quote)
  i hear people (full quote)
  hey dad i got the good stuff none of that pussy skole right dad.... dad? (full quote)
  you like those spinning tires do ya (full quote)
  I'm a true rocker through and through....you wanna here a list of my favorite bands....AC/DC...Van Halen.............Not Van Hagar, Skynird, Def Lep. (full quote)
  Whhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttt? (full quote)
  you like those spinning tires (full quote)
  Boy: you wanna see ma girlfriend u'd shit yourself. (full quote)
  that aint no meteorite, thats a big hunk of frozen poopie fuck you (full quote)
  Why don't you guys go over there and practice falling down... I'll be over in a minute. (full quote)
  I can see down your shirt !!! (full quote)
  IT PUTS THE lotion ON! (full quote)
  Things are gonna happen for me, I'm Joe Dirt. (full quote)
  I did it! I roped him with the bungee cord! (full quote)
  Ho dirt, did i getchya , na, im cool, no your not (full quote)
  you, show me those boobies (full quote)
  Dang! (full quote)
  (scene where joe dirts bangin kickin wing in the ass) dirt: how ya like them damn snakes kickin wing, Kickin wing: ide rather have sparklers Dirt: you need the shit that go boomb like this load all over your glasses (full quote)
  (scene where joe dirts bangin kickin wing in the ass) dirt: how ya like them damn snakes kickin wing, Kickin wing: ide rather have sparklers Dirt: you need the shit that go boomb like this load all over your glasses (full quote)
  Hey Robby, what's crappenin? (full quote)
  Clif talking to the wall: your talkin to me all wrong it's the wrong tone you do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Let me ask you this...Does your mom sew? BOOM! Get her to sew that up. (full quote)
  Swerve them potholes... we got an A-bomb in the back! (full quote)
  Clem: You're talking to me all wrong, it's the wrong tone. Do it again, and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. (full quote)
  im your sister im your sister OH your MY SISTER (full quote)
  im your sister im your sister OH your MY SISTER (full quote)
  I thought I had broken my assbone. (full quote)
  you gotta keep on keepin on (full quote)
  what's this?.....five dollars?...it's mine now.....you're my lucky meteor (full quote)
  i'm like a bird, more like a hard ass terydachtal (full quote)
  THERES 3 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN DEALING WITH A DEADLY ALLIGATOR, AND YES THEY ARE DEADLY DONT KID yourSELF. RULE NUMBER 1 I'M NUMBER ONE. I LIKE TO KID AROUND RULE 2 THE CROCS NUMBER 2. NOW BEFORE I BEGIN. HEY WHATS RULE 3? WHATS THAT? KID GIMME A BREAK MAN. SO YOU DONT KNOW RULE 3? YEAH YOU WANT A MATCH, MY FACE AND your ASS HOW BOUT THAT FRIEND HUH? I MEAN your ASS AND MY FACE WHATS UP? (full quote)
  Zander: You mean to tell me that you're so ingrained with white trash DNA that your facial hair grows in....on it's own...all white trashy like that? (full quote)
  Im here for work, Joe Dirte...Dont try to church up your name son, dont you mean joe dirt? namin you that your daddy must have really hated you! your wrong brother! (full quote)
  Keep on Keepin (full quote)
  you wanna fight? you can stick your head up my ass and fight for air. (full quote)
  what's crappenin' (full quote)
  I thought i had broken my ass bone. (full quote)
  Nah,nah. your talkin' to my guy all wrong. Say it again, and I'll stab you in the face with a sautering iron. (full quote)
  the only reason i'm doing this is because i heard that buffalo bob guy shoved a road flare up your bunghole. whaaaaaat! ooh raw! (full quote)
  You want me to put my ear to the ground, listen for hoof beats, check for footprints, look for broken twigs, but this is the modern age. That STUFF doesn't work anymore. Which is why I had to open this FIREworks stand. I wasn't gett by on my tracking wages. -Kicking Wing (full quote)
  The symbol looks very stern. -Kicking Wing (full quote)
  do you want me to take you down to mcdonald's and get you a wamburger and french cries. (full quote)
  good try sir (old man):dammit (Dirt) sir god forbid you dont win everytime (full quote)
  its puts the lotion on the skin (full quote)
  crocadile (full quote)
  Guard:i got a name for this car..RUSTY. joe: it'll buff out Guard:don't bother (full quote)
  hey stud man (full quote)
  Zander: so your name is joe dirt? Joe: Yea i added an E at the end so its Joe Dirte(Deer-tay)its actually pretty cool (full quote)
  Walken: Yeah, born and raised. No not yet, kansas. (full quote)
  Uhh.That's a space peanut *rolls eyes* (full quote)
  You're saying you have no black cats, Roman candles or screaming meemies? Come on. You don't got no ladyfingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs... ...church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippedy-doodas, crap flappers? No, I don't. You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand... ...and say you have no whistling bungholes... ...spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, Hüsker Düs and don'ts. Cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick... ...or one single whistling kitty-chaser? No. (full quote)
  That hug was completely asexual. (full quote)
  1. Why don't you do us all a favor and drive this piece of crap off a cliff! 2. Shit'll buff out. 1. Don't bother. (full quote)
  1. There's a snail in the desert? 2. Yea 'cuz the alien space ship dropped him off. 1. And he can talk? 2. Yea, because they gave him magical powers--Dude, you're focusing on the wrong part of the story! (full quote)
  is that queer? is this queer? theyre large and in charge and lookin for chickies! (full quote)
  A little reverse physcology here... I LIKE HAVING HOT DOGS THROWN AT ME IT DON'T BOTHER ME NONE (full quote)
  [joe in hot air balloon]I can see down your shirt! (full quote)
10929 I'm a white trash idiot? (full quote)
10929 Crash into me. (full quote)
10929 Bad to the bone. (full quote)
10929 KL5-0143. (full quote)
36209 why don't you go practice falling down, i'll be over there in a minute. (full quote)
36612 Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air. (full quote)
45098 Hey lady, I can see down your shirt. (full quote)
elliebellie864 life's a garden, dig it. (full quote)
Fizti You're my sister! (full quote)