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American Pie II - 2001 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
9510 i'll kiss every god damm guy in the place i've no problem with my sexuality (full quote)
7869 I can taste the bubbles! (full quote)
7869 Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? your scaring the chicks away. (full quote)
7869 Two possible lesbians in their bra and panties. (full quote)
7869 HOT DOGS! Here we come! (full quote)
7869 I'm like Cupid. (full quote)
7869 Party hardy! (full quote)
7869 Come on now baby! (full quote)
  ok..you both jack him off! alright guys-i'll take one for the team! (full quote)
9767 Why don't you get yourself a spoon, so you can eat my ass. (full quote)
9767 Why don't you get yourself a spoon, so you can eat my ass.... (full quote)
  u suck retard (full quote)
3225 1) You suck, retard 2) I'm not a retard. I'm a very special boy (full quote)
3225 I am a band geek. I just never joined the band (full quote)
3225 We are awfully proud of you, son...don't forget your penis cream (full quote)
3225 Nadia is going to expect fillet mignion and all I'm going to be able to give her is rump roast (full quote)
3225 I don't care if you gave me ten orgasms in a row, because you smell really really bad...NO I smell really really bad... (full quote)
  I got a DILDO (full quote)
  You go get your geek! While I look for mine... (full quote)
  The Girl: You are so sweet. He`s ... different. Michelle: He`s my bitch. (full quote)
  Guys! Check this out! Lesbians, lesbians live here! (full quote)
  Guys, check this out! Lesbians, lesbians live here! (full quote)
  i got peed on (full quote)
  i got peed on (full quote)
  he's my bitch! (full quote)
  you've gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey! (full quote)
  I had sex with many women, but none of them compare to Stifler's mom. (full quote)
11280 Stiffler's brother: Fuckers Fuckers Fuckers. How you doing boys (full quote)
11280 Jim: Hello? Boys control? I got a problem. i kinda glued myself to ummmm.....myself (full quote)
  girl:who is that? cop: this is uh, john smith. im turning off the radio now (keeps listening). (full quote)
  Shake this! (full quote)
11280 [phone rings](Stiffler picks up) Stiffler: Stiffler's palace of love....straight love (full quote)
11280 Stiffler: I can taste the bubbles...well no i can't.How did u get it so warm? (full quote)
11774 dude, where's the fuckin' pussy (full quote)
11774 i'm in a lesbien stronghold! (full quote)
11774 DIL-DO! DIL-DO! DIL-DO! (full quote)
11774 Grab his ass son, you'll like it. (full quote)
11774 where's all the fucking females? (full quote)
7869 I have an 11 inch penis...AROUND! (full quote)
7869 Keep it real homies! (full quote)
  Stifler: So Jessica, How many chicks did you bag at college? Jessica: Wouldn't you like to know... Stifler: FUCK YEAH I WOULD! (full quote)
  stiffler to oz- you fuckin pussy (full quote)
  Keep it real hommies (full quote)
  I didn't get your daughters name but hopefully my son did (full quote)
  Oh you mean that flutie tooting band geek who made me her BITCH and ditched me after prom (full quote)
  The people demand rubber dicks (full quote)
  whole shit I found a dildo.... Rubber dick, Rubber dick, Rubber dick (full quote)
  Hey there he is. How are the twig and giggle berries? Great my dick looks like a paint by number. You have the only dick that needs and instruction manual. (full quote)
  Eat shit!! (full quote)
  Stifler's house of loooove... uh straight love. (full quote)
  wipe my ass and lick my balls (full quote)
  I have an 11 inch penis.....Around.....Think about it. (full quote)
  Howdy, Howdy, How the fuck is everyone! (full quote)
  Finch, Fist yourself (full quote)
  Stifler : Ozzy I'm happy for ya, at least you've seen a nice bod while Heather's off suckin' dick. Oz : Sifler keep your fantasies to yourself. Stifler : Dude, use your fuckin' brain. 'Oh I'm American college chick, la-la-la, your European cultural shit is so charming. Oh hey, hot Spanish guy, love your accent....love your ding-dong.' I'm tellin' ya man, right now there's a dick in your girlfriends mouth. (full quote)
  yeah so this girl called me last night asking for my phone number (full quote)
  oh no what have i done with johnny west!!! (full quote)
  I have an 11 inch penis.....AROUND!!! (full quote)
  spending your life playing in the band doesnt exactly give you that ultra cool hipster image (full quote)
  I just shoved a trumpet up your ass. Aren't instruments fun? (full quote)
  My penis is 11 inches around! Think about it! (full quote)
  Lesbian Artifacts! (full quote)
  Jim - What...What are you doing??? Michelle - I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?!? (full quote)
  Don't Forget Ur Penis cream (full quote)
  dude, am I gonna have a hangover tomorrow...cause I want one. (full quote)
  Holy potatoes! (full quote)
  I'M IN A LESBIAN STRONGHOLD. (full quote)
  GIRL#1:WHERE'S MY CLARINET?GIRL#2:I JUST SHOVED IN your BOX.JIM:OH I'M A BAD MAN,A BAD MAN. (full quote)
  STIFLER:TELL ME I HAVE A BIG DICK LIKE STIFLER.OZ:GET OFF.STIFLER:I ****AM****GETTING OFF,JUST listENING TO YOU TWO. (full quote)
  I DIDN'T GET HER NAME,BUT I'M SURE MY SON DID. (full quote)
  I'M HERE FOR THE PUSSY.JIM:TAKE A number. (full quote)
  WE JUST DID SOMETHING TOGETHER.VERY TOGETHER. (full quote)
  WANNA play SOME ASSHOLE? (full quote)
  GIRL:NO,YOU KISS HIM.STIFLER:DUDE,NO. (full quote)
  STIFLER:JIM,YOU'RE A LOUSY KISSER.JIM:WAIT,THAT'S NOT FAIR.I WASN'T TRYING.WAIT,YOU WERE TRYING? (full quote)
  Jim: Hello? poison control? I got a problem. i kinda glued myself to ummmm.....myself (full quote)
  Go fist yourself (full quote)
  Jim: Hello? Poison Control? I have a problem. I glued myself to ... myself. (full quote)
  HOWDY HOWDY FUCKING PARTNERS (full quote)
7869 MY NAME IS PETEY! AND I HAVE GIGANTIC ballS! (full quote)
7869 HOLY POTATOES! (full quote)
8217 (OZZY):Here's a new idea for ya Stifler, You find a girl.....you two become best friends and you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other....you just laugh at the people that do count.(Stifler): Here's a new idea for you, I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass. (full quote)
8217 I'm not retarded, I'm a very special boy. (full quote)
8217 Dude,I found a dildo!!! (full quote)
8487 1) Stifler, get off!!! 2) (laughing) I am getting off! (full quote)
8487 And one time, at band camp......... (full quote)
trip Holy shit dude, if I didn't have to hold my dick because I have to piss so bad, I would shake your hand. (full quote)
11288 1)are you a relative sir? 2)f*ck no this sh*t is just too good to miss! (full quote)
12243 Keep it real homies. (full quote)
12243 I got peed on. (full quote)
12261 looks like someone gained a freshman 15. heres maybe this will help. (full quote)
12315 Howdy, Howdy, How the fuck is everyone!? (full quote)
12653 I'm not retarded, I'm a very special boy! -bum bum BUM!- (full quote)
12665 That's a jizz free ficus. (full quote)
12717 It's piss poor to be this late. I'm angry, you can tell by the tone of my voice how angry I am. I'm pissed OFF...is what I am. (full quote)
12721 It's like you know all our stories Oh was that a question? I dunno, do you wanna answer anyway? (full quote)
12721 I get nasty when i'm horny (full quote)
12721 I got gigantic balls (full quote)
12721 How's this for a band camp story (full quote)
12721 Tantric? what the fuck is tantric? (full quote)
12721 Stay away from that ficus. that's a jizz free ficus (full quote)
12721 Looks like someone gained the freshman 15. here this will help (full quote)
12721 Cmon Sherman, I'm really glad to see you Well alright. You stupid fuck (full quote)
12721 So Jessica how many chicks did you sleep with this year? Wouldn't you like to know Fuck yea i would (full quote)
12721 Rule of 3. It's an exact science. As consistent as gravity (full quote)
12721 This is my first time.......since my first time so technically this is my second time (full quote)
12908 like, this one time at band camp... (full quote)
13142 I have an 11 inch penis.....around. Think about it? (full quote)
13142 Finch I don't want to hear about you and your boyfriends...go jerk off. Unessery (full quote)
13142 Dildo! Dildo! (full quote)
13513 I, uh, just glued my self to... my-y-self (full quote)
13590 Have you seen my calarinet? I shoved it in your box! (full quote)
13590 You're making me wet. really? no (full quote)
13682 Who was that? Just someone looking for the lake. what a dumbass! The lake's right there!! ha ha! (full quote)
13964 Sherman : I'm.....the Shermanator...a sophisticated sex robot sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady. Nadia : I am lucky lady? Sherman : Thats right Nadia, you have been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live ! (They go upstairs) Nadia : Fuck Me Geek !!!!! (full quote)
14443 Stifler:Sherman hows it goin!? Sherman: Ok Stifler take your shot, haha. Stifler: No, c'mon man i'm really happy to see you.(Stifler offers him a high five) Sherman: AAllright(sherman tries to give stifler a high five) Stifler:You stupid fuck!!(as he pulls his arm away from sherman.) (full quote)
14445 Nadia, I am a band geek, I just never joined the band. (full quote)
15009 Tantra? what the fuuck is tantra? (full quote)
15699 1)AHHHH!!!!!! Jim!!!! 2) OH MY GOD DAD GET OUT!!!!! 1)oh, hello, i'm uh, i'm jim' dad. i didn't get your daughter's name but hopefully my son did. (full quote)
16568 Hiya F*?kface (full quote)
  Big rubber dick for everyone! (full quote)
  Big blue rubber dicks for EVERYONE!! (full quote)
  I have an 11 inch penis....around (full quote)
  I have an 11 inch penis..around (full quote)
  This was a good christmas preasent you bought the kids the lezbians: Ohh my nipples are so hard (full quote)
  1. Are you family? 2. Fuck no but this is too good to miss (full quote)
  wipe my ass and lick my balls ! (full quote)
  jim:wot r u doin?stiffler:im looking 4 other lesbian artefacts (full quote)
  Don't call me Steven! (full quote)
  thats fucking discusting i'm gonna throw up (full quote)
  Jim: I super-glued myself to, uh,... myself. (full quote)
  RUBBER DICKS FOR EVERYONE...DIL-DO DIL-DO DIL-DO!!! (full quote)
  Awww yeah The Stiflermeister is coming back to Granharbor! Deck the halls, Bye bye Greatfalls, wipe my ass and lick my balls and it's Stifler time baby! Whoooooo Hoooooooo (full quote)
  And that includes fucking me in the Ass! (full quote)
  Yes, the force is strong in that one. (full quote)
  No matter what, times change and things are different. Th problem is, I don't want them to be. (full quote)
  oz: here a new idea for u stifler, u find a nice girl, u two become best friends and you dont count the number of times u have sex with her u just laough at the popl who do count stifler: heres a new idea for u, ill get u a spoon so u can eat my ass (full quote)
  little kid: What's your position?? Stifler: I'm touching his ass I'm touching his ass I'm touching his ass (full quote)
  Is that a dress, is that a fucking dress? (full quote)
  1) it's just friendly goodbye sex 2) technically we havent had friendly hello sex (full quote)
  We will make out if one of you gives a guy head? What guys I am taking one for the team. (full quote)
  Stifler: hey heather baby, why don't you tell my dick's as big as stifler's! (full quote)
  Stifler:Big Blue Dicks for Everyone.dil..do...dil.do../dil.do Jim:where'd you find that? Stifler:Finch's ass (full quote)
  I have no future with Stifler's mom...other than a very warped, kinky one (full quote)
  Finch:Tantra teaches you to hold an orgasm, filling to the brim, until the ultimate moment when you release it upon the world Stifler:That's gross (full quote)
  Howdy Howdy Fucking Partners! (full quote)
  Nadia I am a band geek, I just never joined the band. (full quote)
  1)And this one time...at..here....this visitor came, and we aren't supposed to have visitors 2) yea yea, i know, and then a bear came. (full quote)
  Stiflers little brother... what the hell are you doing here? (LIL Bro) The pussy man, the pussy. (full quote)
  Stifer's Brother: Wanna Fuck? (full quote)
  Oh SHIT Dude I Found a DILDO!!! (full quote)
  1)Dude What are you doing??? 2)I'm looking for more lesbian artifacts!! (full quote)
  (whispering) They're getting naked! (full quote)
  I just wanted proof that you were really lesbians! (full quote)
  Sounds like your little friends outside wanna play too!! (full quote)
  1) I know! You feel his ass first! 2)Excuse Me? (full quote)
  1) RED LEADER WHAT'S your POSITION! 2)I'm touching his ass! I'm touching his ass I'm touching his ass!! 1) MOMMY!! (full quote)
  1) AAHH That didn't even count!, That's how you kiss your mother 2)Don't you say anything! (full quote)
  PUT THAT THING AWAY STIFFLER!!! (full quote)
  And that includes fucking me up the ass!! (full quote)
  Wait a second! Who the fuck was in that car! (full quote)
  Holy shit, dude, I found a dildo! Big, blue rubber dicks for everyone! The people demand rubber dicks! Dildo, dildo... (full quote)
  Stiflers Brother: thats a really nice top, you have beautiful eyes Girl: thanks Stiflers Brother: wanna fuck? (full quote)
  Bye Bye great falls deck the halls wipe my ass and lick my balls its STIFMISTER time Baby! yeah!!!! (full quote)
  Shut the fuck up or i will break down the door a pummel your ass! (full quote)
  Touch me I bite (full quote)
  Shut the fuck up before i break down the door and pummel your ass (full quote)
  Just so there is no confucion...santa porn has brought us some heteral sexual entertainment. (full quote)
  Vic, I'd much rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all. (full quote)
  howdy fucker partners (full quote)
  This Summer Has Turned Out To Be GREAT! (full quote)
  dont forget your penis cream (full quote)
  Gentalmen, i belive this is a party! (full quote)
  A super start to a super summer, welcome home guys... (full quote)
  It's time to boom boom with the bridesmaids (full quote)
  oh hey,hot spanish guy, Love ur accent,Luuurve ur ding dong-Stifler (full quote)
  AP3-im gonna hang out with my wang out,n im gonna rock 'em with my cock out (full quote)
  (Lesbian on porn movie:) Is that a loofah or are you happy to see me? ...Loofah smuggling baby! (full quote)
  ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP... (full quote)
  Finch, stay the fuck away from that fichus, thats a jizz free fichus. (full quote)
  Hey everybody listen up! NOVA'S BACK BABY! AND HES TAKIN THE LOCK OFF HIS COCK! (full quote)
  stiffler: finch stay the fuck away from that vikis, thats a giz free vikis (full quote)
  My name is Petey and I have gigantic balls! (full quote)
  Finch STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT FICUS!!!...... that's a jizz free ficus (full quote)
  just so theres no confusion, santa porn has brought us some heterosexual entertainment (full quote)
  Stifler: Oh, yeah. The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbor. Deck the halls. Bye-bye, Great falls. Wipe my ass and lick my balls. It's Stifler time, baby. (full quote)
  dude, i found a dildo hahaha. big blue rubber dicks for everyone! hahaha dildo,dildo,dildo. - stifler (full quote)
  Since when does Stifler's mom drive a scooter? (full quote)
  HA! what a dumbass, the lakes right there! (full quote)
  i eat pussy for lunch (full quote)
4384 You're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual. (full quote)
14526 You know Jim, even though your friends may call you Jimbo, or Jimbodeeni, your mother and I still remember where James Emanuel Lovenstein came from. Thanks dad. OH, And don't forget your penis cream. (full quote)
20970 and there was this one time, at band camp... (full quote)
22031 I gotta keep this party going. Im taking one for the team. (full quote)
22384 Take me out to the pasture and shoot me, my sexual life is past it's peek. (full quote)
Smurf_511 Yeah, I sorta glued myself to.... myself. No, no, no don't send anyone over. Are there any household items that can work....... paint thinner. (full quote)
22776 the fuck is tantric?> (full quote)
23438 Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream. (full quote)
23438 Friend: You are so sweet. He is special. Michelle: He's my bitch. (full quote)
23438 Stifler: (while being urinated on, thinking it's champagne) I can taste the bubbles. (full quote)
23438 Jim: I kind of super-glued myself to, uh.. myself. (full quote)
23438 Jim: Ah, yes. You would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch, and ditched me after prom. (full quote)
23438 Jessica: If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. (full quote)
23438 Jim: That's a lot of flutes. (full quote)
23438 Jim: Ow that's cold. What is that? Michelle: I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun? (full quote)
23438 Stifler: I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass. (full quote)
23438 Michelle: No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey. (full quote)
23438 Jim: What are you doing? Stifler: Looking for more lesbian artifacts. (full quote)
23438 Sherman: I am the Sherminator, a sophisticated Sex-Robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky lady. Nadia: And I am lucky lady? Sherman: Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live. (full quote)
23438 Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know who's dick needs an instruction manual. (full quote)
23438 Michelle: (at bandcamp) It was just like this one time.. here. (full quote)
23438 Kid: Guests bring food. food attracts animals. This one time, a bear came. And then the bear had to be destroyed. Which means they shot it in the head with a rifle, and killed it, and it died. Jim: Yeah, you must know Michelle. (full quote)
princesstigereyes I just got peed on! (full quote)
princesstigereyes My name is Petey.....and I have gigantic balls!!! (full quote)
25438 Tantric? what the fuck is tantric? (full quote)
25630 Jim! Can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away! (full quote)
25630 Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the internet... Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a P.T.A. meeting. (full quote)
26923 I'm touching his ass, i'm touching his ass, i'm touching his ass.... (full quote)
30929 I am not retarded - I am a very special boy! (full quote)
33899 We're very proud of you, son. Don't forget your penis cream. (full quote)
33899 Brilliant! You found Lesbians... (full quote)
33899 I guess I've always been a band geek. I was just never in the band. (full quote)
38324 This one time, uh here. (full quote)
38645 Finch ..STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT FICUS.....that's a jizz free ficus........ (full quote)
45511 Ladies, I am Steve Stifler. And I have an 11 inch penis...around. Think about it. (full quote)
45511 Jim, can't you put your shirt on. You're scaring all the chicks away. (full quote)
45511 Finch, I don't care what you do with your boyfriends. Go jerk off. (full quote)
45511 Stifler's palace of love, straight love. (full quote)
45511 1)They warn us about these situations in college. Now you may intoxicated, oh yeah. Are you sure you're willing to consend...2)Easy buster, don't start counting your chickens. 1)I'm just playing by the rules baby. 2)I make the rules. 1)That's a pretty good fucking rule. (full quote)
45511 Where's the fucking female? (full quote)
45511 Thank you Tall Oaks you're beautiful. My name is Petey, and I have gigantic balls! (full quote)
45511 Stifler's coming back to Grand Harbor. Deck the halls. Bye bye Great falls, whipe my ass and lick my balls, its Stifler time baby. (full quote)
48858 Dude are you wearing a fucking dress?!? (full quote)
48858 Moring Jimbo, how the twig and berrys? (full quote)
slowjay Seems like just yesterday me dad picked me up from college. (full quote)