| Posted By | Quote |
| 17345 |
Shhhh You had me at get lost
(full quote)
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As a friend I can sorta look the other way when u bang a few fatties to get it out of your system.
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
what in the name of all that is holy?!!
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
Sorry about the banana hands thing.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
(after she breaks the chair) 1)Hey, you have to get some decent chairs in here, man! What's this shit made out of anyway? 2)Uh...steel.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
(looks at Rosemary) Looks like we're too late. food's probably all gone!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Hahahaha! You guys are so funny making fun of me because I'm a little pudgy, right? 2)No. I wasn't making fun of YOU, I was-- 1)That's nice. Do me a favor, look out the window. You see that little fox out there? You see that little number? She's with me! And I'll bet if you two took all the girls you ever went out with and put them together they wouldn't equal one of her. 2)We're not arguing that. Ha ha! 1)Rararararah! That's right, laugh it up! So tonight when you're hugging your pillow, just remember, I'm with her!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)what happened? 2)Well, let's just say Hal: 2, Mallrats: 0.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Haven't you ever heard of the saying 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'? 2)Yeah, you ever heard of the song 'who let the dogs out'!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Oh my God, there she is! 2)Where? 1)Right there. 2)what? Where? Is she behind the rhino?!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)You're dumping Loni? 2)Lindy! 1)Are you crazy? Lindy's gorgeous! 2)Yeah, but the other day she was sitting on the couch and she's got her bare feet on the coffee table and I notice her second toe is like half an inch longer than her big toe! 1)That's why you're dumping her?! 2)Hey, I don't need that circus shit!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
Ahh! Did you see the toe?!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Are you going parasailing or something? 2) **walks away pissed** 1)Uh, I'm sorry, I just thought it was funny seeing someone like you hold up a pair of old lady trou. 2)Someone like me? 1)Yeah, someone so fit. 2)You are a jackass!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Okay, who's your all time love of your life? 2)Wonder Woman. 1)Okaaaay...so say that Wonder Woman fell in love with you...
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| 14345 |
1)Would you care if anybody else thought Wonder Woman wasn't beautiful? 2)No, because I'd know they were wrong. 1)That's what I had with Rosemary! 2)Jeez...I guess I never thought of it that way. Hey, I guess I really did screw you, huh?!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Uh, I'm very sick! I've got uh...uh... 2)C.C.! 3)what? 1)Contageous...Conguntavitus! 3)I'll take my chances.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
Shallow Hal wants a gal!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Hal, don't you think you're being a little shallow about the way you look at women? 2)Oh, no, I'd like her to be into culture and shit too.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)CAn you think of one specific time when you were really shallow? 2)Oh yeah. 1)Okay. DEVILS COME OUT!!! 2)what the hell was that, banana hands?!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Okay here's my phone number, and my here's my e-mail... 2)HAHAHA! 1)Yeah. That's...funny.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
Hey, Hal! Come in here and check out this turd! He looks just like this guy from M*A*S*H!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Gentlemen, can I interest you in some chili fries and half a burger? 2)Thanks! 1)There's a lot left because a little guy couldn't finish his meal. 2)Pussy.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)So can I get your number? 2)What number? 1)your pin number, I want your money. your phone number, what do you think?
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)So what are you in, the army? 2)Peace Corps. 1)Wow, that's really ultradocious of you. 2)Ultradocious? That's not even a word. Oh, you mean humanidocious, don't you?
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)I had the most beautiful girl in the world and you made her disappear! 2)No I did not! I just made Rosemary appear!
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)You're the most cutest thing I've seen. What's your name, beautiful? 2)Cadence. 1)Cadence. That's a pretty name. You know, my uncle's name is Cadence.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)I've got news for you, Cadence. I'm not putting you down until the cows come home. 2)Put her down! 1)The cow came home.
(full quote)
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| 14345 |
1)Yeah, you may be more mature than me, but at least I got a bigger willie. (sits for a while) 2)Yeah, bigger than a mouse's. 1)What the hell was that? 2)I said your willie's bigger than a-- 1)I heard what you said but it took you like eight seconds!!!
(full quote)
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--Have you heard of the saying, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder?'
--Have you ever heard of the song 'Who let the Dogs out?!'
(full quote)
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woman: Besides, her tits weren't even real.
Hal: Well, I can squeeze 'em. That's enough for me.
(full quote)
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| princesstigereyes |
1. what are you doing?! 2. I'm saving you. 1. From what?! 2. A herd of stampeding buffalo!!
(full quote)
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| princesstigereyes |
You had me at get lost.
(full quote)
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| 26794 |
1) what do you weigh . . . 110, 115 pounds? 2) Which one of my butt-cheeks are you talking about?
(full quote)
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| princesstigereyes |
Cuckoo!! Cuckoo!!
(full quote)
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Dropping some L B's.
(full quote)
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| GenieChick |
I know what I am and I know what I'm not, I'm the girl who gets really good grades. Who is not afraid to be funny. Who has lots of boys that are friends, and no boyfriends. I am not beautiful and I never will be. So when you say things to me that are sweet, it's not nice.
(full quote)
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Gee I guess I really did screw ya
(full quote)
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I have a tail
(full quote)
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You stay away from me daughter! She's with Ralph now!
(full quote)
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| 28042 |
1) She doesn't mean anything by it, she is just saying your not very good looking. 2)OH! I thought she was implying something really MEAN..
(full quote)
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Hey Hal, you gotta get in here and look at this turd! It looks like Clinger from M*A*S*H*!
(full quote)
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| 8992 |
1).So, can I have your number? 2).What number? 1).(Sarcastically)your pin number, I want your money. your phone number!!!!
(full quote)
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| 8992 |
1).Hey there beautiful. What's your name? 2).Cadence 1). Cadence? Hey my uncle's name is Cadence. Well I'll tell you what Cadence. I'm not putting you down untill the cows come home. 3). PUT HER DOWN!!! 1).Cow just came home!
(full quote)
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Tony Robbins:Would you rather have a woman missing a breast or missing half a brain??
Hal: HMMMM..toughie...how is the remaining breast...is it big???
(full quote)
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Well... I gotta go launch a missile.
(full quote)
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Yea i knew this hawaiian guy in high school who went out for the hockey team,It was funny as shit...
(full quote)
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Hal:Did you move us? Hostess: No, first table on the right. Hal: Well, maybe you can explain to me why that robust women is eating my girlfriends din.. Hey now she's eatin my clams casino!
(full quote)
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| 30916 |
Hal:Did you move us? Hostess: No, first table on the right. Hal: Well, maybe you can explain to me why that robust women is eating my girlfriends din.. Hey now she's eatin my clams casino!
(full quote)
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hey! watch it banana hands!
(full quote)
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she has cankles!
(full quote)
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1.) im goin for the redhead, u can have ur choice of the other 2 2.) so u get the hyena, and i get to choose between the hippo and the giraffe
(full quote)
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hey mud whistle get dressed were going out
(full quote)
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1)She got cankles!! 2)what?? 1)Cankles its like the the calf connected with the ankle! 2) i know what cankles are and rosemary doesnt have them
(full quote)
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| 33061 |
Which one off my bum cheeks are you talking about
(full quote)
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DOES SHE TAKE THE WHOLE CAKE OR what, SHE TAKES THE WHOLE BAKERY
(full quote)
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DOES SHE TAKE THE WHOLE CAKE OR what, SHE TAKES THE WHOLE BAKERY
(full quote)
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yeah i new a guy from hawaii in high school, tried out for the hockey team, funny as shit
(full quote)
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I just bet on football to make the game more interesting
huh..never read that book
what book things losers say
(full quote)
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| 36199 |
She sounds hot.
(full quote)
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| 24986 |
Hey unibrow, why don't you double your dosage and leave me alone!
(full quote)
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| 10929 |
I just sold my company to Microsoft.
(full quote)
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| 10929 |
Members only.
(full quote)
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| 10929 |
I think of you.
(full quote)
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hey minster you have a whale on your boat
(full quote)
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| 40770 |
Which one of my butt cheeks are you talking about?
(full quote)
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| 10929 |
It looks like Klinger from M.A.S.H.
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
A) What are these chairs made of? B) Steel. A) Well, get them welded better in the corners or something.
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
Is that that new thing called 'sarcasm'?
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
She didn't even give me the courtesy of a severance pop!
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
what in the name of all that is holy???
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
Oh come on (name), you're about as deep as a puddle.
(full quote)
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| 4927 |
A) Can I have your number?
B) My phone number?
A) No, your pin number - I want to steal your money.
(full quote)
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| 38042 |
Yeah, We'll blend in
(full quote)
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| 10929 |
I just sold my company to Microsoft.
(full quote)
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| bigclaude |
1) what do you weigh, about 110? 2) Which one of my butt cheeks are you talking about?
(full quote)
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