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America's Sweethearts - 2001 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
9654 You are the devil. (full quote)
9654 Is it possible to be in love with someone and not even like them? (full quote)
9827 life is a cookie. (full quote)
  I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I AM my own entourage. (full quote)
  Let me explain why i didn't call... (full quote)
  Remember that girl you saw beside the pool? The one you just have to spend the rest of your life with? That was me. (full quote)
  #1:Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? #2:Actully it's a gun.(gun shots heard) (full quote)
  Dear Mom: Fuck you (full quote)
  1.)So... do you think he'll be okay? 2.)life is a cookie.... 1.) O-K I'll take that as a yes! (full quote)
  The media loved it! They're calling it the Blair Bitch Project! (full quote)
  who am i? i am the kicker of your ass! (full quote)
  - I've been running around for the last year trying to find some clarity, and all of a sudden I am so clear, and it's ridiculous. I want to be with you. - And when did you make this decision? - When I thought I'd lost you. - Dammit... - What? - That was..... that was good. (full quote)
  I just--I just need you to know one thing. That woman that you saw by the pool the other night--no--that woman that you just have to spend the rest of your life with.....that was me. (full quote)
  don't let me interrupt anything... (full quote)
  wellness Guide: We have a saying Edward. Mecke Lecke Halava Beem sala beem. What is that? Bean salad? Wha-- Mecke Lecke Salava. Beem sala Beem. What does that mean? I dont know what it means. Its very old... (full quote)
  We have a saying Edward. Mecke Lecke Halava Beem sala beem. (what is that? Bean salad? Wha--) Mecke Lecke Salava. Beem sala Beem. (what does that mean?) I dont know what it means. Its very old... (full quote)
9841 If I had an assistant, she would be outside milking a cow, and I would never, ever run out of butter! (full quote)
9841 Ma'am? The butter? what, are they out of butter? How can you be out of butter? (full quote)
11953 It's not always about love, sometimes you just need to get laid!! (full quote)
11959 You'll probably always be thinking about her...and i'll probably always be wondering if you are thinking about her! (full quote)
12153 Nobody knows what it is like being me. Did we brush my teeth? (full quote)
12153 I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I'm my own entourage! (full quote)
11289 Nobody knows what it is like being me. Did we brush my teeth? (full quote)
  (1)she lost 60 punds.......(2)60 Pounds..thats like a backstreet boy. (full quote)
  (1)she lost 60 pounds.......(2)60 Pounds..thats like a backstreet boy. (full quote)
12681 #1 She's got this green dress, looks horrible on her, brings out the circles under her eyes, she knows it, I know it. She gave it to me, actually looks pretty good on me. She decided, mabey she'd like to have it back. She doesn't want it. She just doesn't want ME to have it. #2 So, what, you're in love with Eddie? #1 Wouldn't that be stupid! (full quote)
12153 Reporter: What's it like working with Gwen? Eddie: Ah.. don't remember. (full quote)
12153 Lee: Survivor rule #3 kid. You're not here to love anybody. You're here to promote a movie. That's it. Period. Say you're here and you get word that your mother died. You know, like, hit by a bus or something. You go downstairs, you shed a tear, and say 'it's a shame. She would have loved this movie'. (full quote)
12153 Gwen: Kiki, what was that movie called? Kiki: I don't give a shit! Eddie: That wasn't it. (full quote)
12153 Gwen: She was so much more fun when she was fat. (full quote)
12153 Hector: Pussyboy is going to go splat. (full quote)
13501 Lee: (on the phone) Can I have Holly Golightly's room please? Danny: Who's Holly Golightly? Lee: It's Gwen's code name....from Breakfast at Tiffanys.. (blank stare from danny)...Hepburn.... Danny: Oh right! (nods) uh..Katherine. Lee: Do yourself a favor, kid, and don't tell anyone that you're in the movie business. (full quote)
beekers Kiki? Kikikins? I smell smoke. Is someone smoking? Is someone smoking within a six mile radius of where I'm standing? Kiki, stop them, Kiki. Kiki, my butter has touched another food, I need more butter! (full quote)
beekers I love you. I want to marry you and make something with both of our skins. (full quote)
beekers 1)I'm sorry, Lee, he's Spanish. 2)It's alright, I was Spanish once myself. (full quote)
8837 Dear Mom, Fuck You. (full quote)
12153 (1)I didn't do it. I'm innocent.Why won't anyone believe me? (2)I object!(3)You're out of order! (2)No, you're out of order! I object to the way my client has been treated. I object that I've let my professional judgement become clouded by my feelings for her. I object to the way the room spins when she walks in. I object, your Honor, because I love this woman. (full quote)
12153 (1)God, they were great.Made my job cake. I did the press for all nine movies.Six did over $100 million. They were on top of the world. Then she blew it by dating that Spaniard. (full quote)
12153 (1)Did you cut this? (2)No, Chad in marketing... (1)Always take credit.That is survival rule number one. (2)Okay, I did it on my Mac. (1)Rule number two: Don't take credit until someone says they like it. It's not bad. (full quote)
12153 (1)Kingman's in the screening room.He wants you to see something right away. (2)Please remind Mr. Kingman that he fired me last week. And then invite him to kiss my undercarriage. (full quote)
  sometimes you just gotta get laid (full quote)
  Hello I have a neck too, this thing holding up my head! (full quote)
  person 1 - where are you going? person 2 - We don't know. person 3 - Isn't it great!? (full quote)
  kiki, kinikikins...is someone smoking within a hundred mile radius of where i'm standing? stop them kiki, stop them. (full quote)
  I hit him in the tray with my face. (full quote)
  1) Can I defend my father's work? 2) No you cannot (quietly) Who's her father? 3) Hal! 2) No you cannot! 1) Well, then at least let me defend Hector. I only slept with him once but I know his penis is bigger than a roll of quarters (full quote)
  We had to do a Hal Widemen picture!!! The man's won three oscars, he's a genius. No. There's only been one genius in this business and that was senior Wences! A little lipstick, his hand, and the guy had a career for 85 years!!! (full quote)
  Beem sala Beem (full quote)
  Are you sure I can go? I mean two nights ago you said that I was the flower that fell to the stream but the branch was blocking my way. I didn't know what that meant but are you taking that back? (full quote)
  listen I'm greatful for you, and in all the world, the thing I'm most greatful for is you. (full quote)
  No laugh no tip. (full quote)
  Is he gonna be alright? life is a cookie. I'm gunna take that as a yes. (full quote)
  Byron, I'm gonna be really honest with you, before I came down from the room I took about a half a pound of vicadin, so I'm gonna be pretty comfortable til about late march. (full quote)
  You know the expression Falling off the Wagon, Well this is what it looks like. (full quote)
  I would have to agree with Hector, It is bullshit. (full quote)
  Gwen: Kiki! what was the name of that movie? Kiki: I don't give a shit!! Eddie: No.. that wasn't it (full quote)
Stitch Lee, how long do I have to stay out here? These people are drunk and they're starting to touch! (full quote)
8916 Of course not, i love my sister. i love everything about her. (mocking sister now) kiki, kikikins, i smell smoke, is someone smoking with in a six mile radius of where i'm standing?! stop them, kiki, stop them! (full quote)
8916 you know what, i need an assistant. b/c if i had an assistant she would be outside milking a cow, and i would never ever run out of butter! (full quote)
8916 hey steve, i think we've got a guy wackin' it down there at cottage four (full quote)
8916 the beach grass grows towards the sun in this universe of which you are greatful for. (full quote)
8916 1: you look good 2: i mean you look good too, you've been lifting weights or something? 1: well, not so much of the lifting weights, so much as the losing weights 2: you never looked overweight, you always looked good to me. (full quote)
8916 1: oh, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? 2: actually it's a gun (precedes to shoot gwen several times) (full quote)
8916 1: my life is so stressful. people have no idea what it's like being me. did we brush my teeth this morning? 2: yes 1: see, i can't even remember that. (full quote)
8916 i have to be honest with you, before i came down i took about a half a pound of vicadin so i'm going to be very comfortable until about late march. (full quote)
8916 1: are you on something?! 2: it's a panic high (full quote)
12153 (1)I'll kill him! That sick son-of-a-bitch bastard. Put him on the speaker. Hi, Hal. How are you, darling? You're in my thoughts.I want to send you a basket. How's the film? (2)Finding its way.(1)Could it find its way here? We have a few things to do,like finish it. (2)It's finished, Dave. (1)Great. How is it? (2)My mother thinks it's my best work. (1)Can I speak with her?(2)No, Dave.. (full quote)
12153 (1)Book us in the middle of nowhere, where they can't escape. We need a hotel like the one in The Shining. (full quote)
12153 (1)Gwen, hi. I used to be a big fan but I'm sorry, I can't get over what happened with you and Eddie.I can't sleep at night. How can you? (full quote)
12153 (1)I smell smoke. Is somebody smoking? (full quote)
12153 (1)There was this place in Chinatown. Tiny little place. They wouldn't bother us there. We'd get wonton soup and crumpled duck and sit there for hours, talking. She took him there. She took him to our crumpled duck. I followed them and I saw him pouring the soup and smiling.... It was a total accident. She told the press I tried to kill her. That's crazy. She loves to overreact. (full quote)
12153 (1)They say two weeks here changes your life. (2)When are two weeks up?(1)Six months ago. But I'm getting close to something. (full quote)
12153 (1)You, young lady, are nobody without Eddie! Nobody likes you! Never go anywhere without Eddie. You're nothing. You're nothing! Get her out of here now! Nothing! (full quote)
12153 (1)Gwen, your dog just swallowed your window-washer. (2)Puppy. (1)your puppy's a raptor. (full quote)
12153 (1)Don't you know the stress I have? Everyone hates me. Everyone wants a piece of me. My shrink's out of town. I wasn't nominated for a golden Globe this year! Leave me alone. (full quote)
12153 (1)Talk to your sister. At least she pretends to listen to you. (2)Where is she?(1)Grazing. (full quote)
12153 (1)I'm afraid. (2)Of...? (1)That I'll see Eddie and he'll be a mess. I'll feel guilty. And I'm tired of feeling guilty. (2)I know. (1)I'm always thinking about other people. (2)I know you are. (1)I hate being the only one who cares about others. If they see Eddie down and sad, they'll pity him and blame me. (2)So what you're worried about is you.(1)Of course. (full quote)
12153 (1)I was in that great store on Melrose. There was a baby in a stroller looking at me, and he was judging me. The whole world is judging me for what I did to Eddie.. (full quote)
12153 (1)Byron Allen, coming to you from EntertainmentStudios.com. Strap yourself in. I'm with America's sweethearts: Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison. Ready for this? They're not trying to kill each other. Are you back together? You look very comfortable. (2)I'll be honest. Before I came down from the room I took about a pound of Vicodin. I'll be comfortable till late March. (1)You're funny. How do you live with him? (2)She doesn't. She lives with someone else. (full quote)
12153 (1)It's so hard being someone people just don't get over. (full quote)
12153 (1)Hello? Hey, Gwen, it's Lee. I'm at the restaurant, and guess what? You're not. (full quote)
12153 (1)I don't eat bread.I just dream about bread. (full quote)
12153 (1)Eddie! Are you okay? (2)I can feel my nose in the back of my throat. Is that bad? (full quote)
12153 (1)I tried to walk away, but he kept pushing. So I hit him in the tray with my face. (full quote)
12153 (1)You buttered my toast. No one's done that before. (full quote)
12153 (1)You look terrible. Does it hurt?(2)only when I'm awake. (full quote)
12153 (1)I can't believe it's taken so long to figure out. I'm going for a long walk to simmer down. First, I'd like to cut through the shit. He's not technically dating because he's technically hung up on you. And you! You moron! She's only here to salvage her precious career and serve you with divorce papers. I've done all I can do. I'm going for a walk. Leaving is just something I've really perfected, so, once more, with feeling. (2)She was more fun when she was fat.(3)Is that true? (2)What? (3)About the papers. (2)Yes, but now I don't know. Seeing you, being in front of the press with you... We have something. Maybe I've made a horrible, horrible mistake. Maybe I should give you the papers.I don't know. (3)You're the devil. (full quote)
12153 (1)what the hell happened?(2)Bad morning. Preceded by 33 bad years. (full quote)
12153 (1)So you're in love with Eddie? (2)Wouldn't that be stupid?(1)I've done every one of their movies. He never looks at her the way he looks at you. (full quote)
12153 (1) I'll take all of this to go. I'll need 30 bags and a forklift. (full quote)
12153 (1) I want to play someone like the Terminator. I think the Hispanic people are crying out to see a deadly, destructive killing machine they can embrace. That they can relate to. (full quote)
12153 (1) He'll be a pussy pancake. (full quote)
12153 (1) I'm sorry! You okay? (2)what are you doing? (1)I was stopping you from jumping! (2)By killing me? (full quote)
12153 (1) Ladies and gentlemen this is the most honest movie I have ever made. I wasn't looking for it. It came to me like a bus in the street. Or the woman who changes the flowers at our desert house. I can't talk about this film without weeping. Roll it. (full quote)
12153 (1) This is real life. The juice. The stink. The glory. (full quote)
12153 (1) I've wanted to get back together with Gwen ever since we weren't together anymore. I've obsessed about it. Now that it's happened, I must say I'm amazed and grateful. And I agree with Hector that it's bullshit. (full quote)
12153 (1) We talked about this. (2)No. (1)We did. Don't you love me? (2)We did not. I love the bright,sexy woman up on-screen. (1)He loves me. (2)The movie girl. That's not you. You're good at pretending to be real. I think I'm with the real you, but I'm not. I'm with the real you, not the movie you. I don't want that. (1)Why? (2)I just explained it. (1)You did? (2)I don't want to talk. Not in front of these...Why not? What could I have to say to you that I don't have to say in front of 300 international press members. I'll tell you why. I'm in love with your sister. (full quote)
12153 (1) Look, I am just tired of making excuses. I am done picking up dirty clothes. I am done pretending that your life is my whole life. I'm just.... I'm done. (2)So what you're really worried about is you, right? Well, I guess you're fired. Honey. You know all I care about is your happiness. So don't worry about me. I'll be fine. (3)You're unbelievable.(2)Shut up. (full quote)
12153 (1) No. No, this is crazy.Eddie, this isn't gonna work. (2)Listen to me. I'm grateful for you. In all the world, the thing I'm most grateful for is you. (1)If that's a line from your movie...(2)That one's mine. (1)What do we do now? (2)Traditionally...we kiss. (full quote)
12153 (1) I'm on pain medication that makes me say things I'd never say otherwise. To set the record perfectly straight Eddie and I never had any plans to reconcile. And Hector is very well-endowed. Almost too well-endowed.I've had complaints. Literally. (full quote)
beekers (to waitress):Hi, I'm gonna need about 20, 30 bags and a forklift. (waitress walks away) No laugh, no tip! (full quote)
beekers She took him to our curmbled duck (full quote)
13511 (eddie): I'm fine, great, what have you heard? (limo driver): I gotta hand it to you man, If my lady walked out on me I'd have a gun down my throat, I'd get drunk off my ass and then go sit by the tracks and wait for a train to finish me off. (full quote)
14345 Dear Mom, Fuck you. (full quote)
14345 Is that puthy boy?! Jump puthy boy, jump! (full quote)
14345 Are you making fun of my accthent? (full quote)
19869 Are you sure I can go? I mean two nights ago you said that I was the flower that fell to the stream but the branch was blocking my way. I didn't know what that meant but are you taking that back? (full quote)
20078 1. remember that guy who lived in the woods? 2. ted kazinski 1. who the guy at fox? 3. the unibomber 1. yeah! you know how he lived in that little cabin? hal weidman bought that cabin from the government and had it moved onto his property. that is where he edits his movies. that is his little, twisted, sicko office. 2. its him, on the phone 1. who? 2. hal 1. i'm gonna kill him! (full quote)
20321 Gwen: I'm going first(rolls window up.) (Lee goes over to Eddie's limo) Eddie: I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! (rolls window up) Lee: Eddie? She's going first. (Eddie rolls window down) Eddie: I don't care. Limo driver: I don't see why we have to go second. Eddie: JUST drive! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin Who am I?!? I am the ass kicker of you! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin publicist piece of shit, I can't even enjoy my shower now. (full quote)
1ajas 60 lbs. That's a backstreet Boy. (full quote)
1ajas (1)what's it like working with Gwen? (2)Ah.. don't remember. (full quote)
1ajas I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I am my own own entourage. (full quote)
1ajas Survivor rule #3 kid. You're not here to love anybody. You're here to promote a movie. That's it. Period. Say you're here and you get word that your mother died. You know, like, hit by a bus or something. You go downstairs, you shed a tear, and say 'it's a shame. She would have loved this movie'. (full quote)
1ajas (1)Is that a gun in your pocket or are happy to see me? (2)Actually it's a gun. (takes it out and shoots her five times). (full quote)
1ajas She was so much more fun when she was fat. (full quote)
KoolKatt 'Kiki: Kiki? Kiki-kins? Is that smoke? Is someone smoking within a six-mile radius of me? Have them put it out! Kiki, my butter has touched another food! I need new butter!' (full quote)
JenniferJayde Who am I? I am the ass kicker of you. (full quote)
29460 ****eddie theres a saying we use here that i think might help. make-alake-ataliban-beam-shala-beam eddie: wow what does that mean? instuctor: uh i dont know its quite old but the point is you need to get over gwen. (full quote)
  1)call it! Heads or tails? (flips coins and loses it as golf cart swerves) Possum! 2)Possible possum! (full quote)
  Then, I hit him in the tray with my face. (full quote)
  Lee: so here's the buffet. what's going on? kiki: bad morning, preceded by 33 bad years. Lee: well what's with all the food? Kiki: ever hear of the expression falling of the wagon, well this is it. Lee: yeah but you got 20 or 30lbs. to break your fall. is it Gwen? Kiki: no, i love my sister. i love everything about her. kiki, kiki kins. who's smoking. i smell smoke. is there somebody smoking within a 6mi. radis of where i'm standing? stop them kiki stop them. um maam could i have some more butter. oh kiki my butter has touched another food i need new butter. um maam, the butter? what are they out of butter how can you be out of butter? Lee: i have this theory. Kiki: you know what i need an assistant. because if i had an assistant she would be out there milking a cow and i would never ever run out of butter.(continues eating) she's got a green dress, looks like crap on her. brings out the circles under her eyes, she knows i know it. so then she gave it to me. it actually looks pretty nice on me and then she decided well maybe she wanted it back. she didn't want it back, she just didn't want ME to have it. Lee: so what is it, you're in love with Eddie? Kiki: well wouldn't that be stupid. Lee: listen i've done every one of their movies and i've never seen him look at her the way he's been looking at you. and if you're in love you should just go for it, the way you went for this breakfast. well not the way you went for this breakfast but... (full quote)
  Eddie: I didn't know what to do, so I hit his tray with my face (full quote)
  The Script is Shit. (full quote)
  How could you be in love with somebody and not even like them at the same time? (full quote)
  How can you be in love with somebody and not even like them at the same time? (full quote)
10929 Nazi! (full quote)
10929 Ladies and gentlemen, here there are, America's sweethearts. (full quote)
10929 Time for Prozac. (full quote)
beekers Ah, ma'm? The butter. What, are they like out of butter? How can you be out of butter. If I had an assistant, she would be outside right now MILKING A COW and I would never run out of butter. (full quote)
beekers Felix, this is Oscar. The monkey is in daycare! I repeat: the monkey is in daycare! (full quote)
beekers How can you be in love with somebody and not even like them at the same time. That seems a little odd, doesn't it? (full quote)
30083 1. Holly Golightly's cottage. 2. Who? 1. Its Gwen's code name. It's from Breakfast at Tiffany's. 2. Right. What's that? 1. Its a movie, a great movie...Hepburn. 2. Right--Katherine. 1. Do me a favor, don't tell anybody you're in the movie business. (full quote)
30083 I can feel my nose in the back of my throat...is that bad? (full quote)
30083 That's because I didn't do anything you morons! (full quote)
Chegra The press love it. They're calling it the Blair Bitch Project. (full quote)