Movie Quotes Bank


MovieQuotes runs by contribution by its talented members. We would like to thank all members for submitting quotes to make this site possible. We are growing by leaps and bounds with many new movie quotes listed daily.

2014 will be another great year with some blockbuster movies, so come back often and enjoy your favorite movie line and quotes all in one easy place. Don't forget to bookmark our site and your favorite quotes pages.

If you would like to additional quotes, please visit the Submit Quote page.






Mr. Deeds - 2002 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
14641 1)Okay...you have a spastic colon. 2)That would explain a lot. (full quote)
14641 1)How the hell does he climb like that? 2)He must have monkey blood in him or something! (full quote)
14641 1)what's Deedsy doing there? 2)Deeds? I thought we were watching Scooby Doo. (full quote)
14345 1)What did you want to be? 2)I wanted to be a veterinarian. 1)Cool. Why would you want to do that? 2)I wanted to help sick animals. 1)And what do you do now? 2)I own a chain of slaughter houses. 1)Okay, you kinda went the other way on that one, didn't you? (full quote)
14345 1)My dad said he built this house with his bare hands six years ago. 2)your dad is a LIAR! (full quote)
14345 1)Remember I'm Pam Dawson: virgin school nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa. 2)That's priceless! You a virgin! (full quote)
14345 1)When Mr. Blake died, he left a large fortune of 40 billion dollars. He left it all to you, Deeds. 2)Wait...a second. You're not off duty! You're not even a cop! (full quote)
14345 1)I'm not leaving without my kitties! 2)Well, how many cats do you have? 1)Seven. 2)Holy shit! (full quote)
14345 1)Woah, you kinda snuck up on me, there. 2)I am very very sneaky, sir. (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, how did you get down here so fast? 2)Sneaky, sneaky, sir. (full quote)
14345 1)That's Hawaiian punch! 2)He adored Hawaiian punch! 1)Wow! You kinda just...snuck up on me there, man! 2)I fear you're underestimating the sneakiness, sir. (full quote)
14345 The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever. (full quote)
14345 1)Longfellow Deeds, our jackass of the week. 2)Oh no. They're going to know my name's Longfellow. (full quote)
14345 1)I'm from a little town too. 2)Where? 1)In Iowa. 2)what part? 1)Winchesterton...field...ville. (full quote)
14345 Hey, all you guys, I noticed you were French. Opposite of Bonjour to you. (full quote)
14345 1)How's the elevator business treating you, Ruben? 2)Oh it has its ups and downs. (full quote)
14345 Hard to breathe, feels like floating, so full of love my heart's exploding, mouth is dry hands are shaking, my heart is yours for the taking, acting weird and not myself, dancing around like the Keebler elf, finally time for this poor schlub, to know how it feels to fall in love. (full quote)
14345 1)I see why you brought me here. To goof on me, huh? 2)Oh, no we wouldn't do THAT! 1)I may be different from all you guys, but if you went to Mandrake Falls you'd look different to all of us. Only we wouldn't laugh at you because it's not good manners. Come on, Miss Dawson. I'm sorry you had to see this. (Everybody laughs at him) And by the way, if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here, I'd probably knock your heads in. 1)Oooooh! 3)I don't mind. 2)Okay. (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, man. what's up? 2)Holy Canoli, you're John McEnroe! (full quote)
14345 1)Well, other than a few foul words, he's a good person. 2)He was WHAT? (takes off his belt) You were using foul language? 3)No Daddy! Noooooo! (full quote)
14345 1)I gotta ask you though, if it hits you is it my point or yours? 2)yours. 1)Well, I'm winning then, I guess. (full quote)
14345 1)So Deeds, what's new? 2)Well, I found out I have an uncle but he died. 3)Oh, that's too bad. 2)He gave me 40 billion dollars though. 4)Well, that's nice. 2)Oh yeah. 3)Don't you go spending it all on some fancy record player. 2)I won't. (full quote)
14345 1)Are you guys lost or something? 2)No, we're acutally looking for a man named Longfellow Deeds. 1)Woah! That's Deeds' first name? I thought it was like Greg or something. (full quote)
  Oh You Kinda Snuck Up On Me There- Deeds(Adam Sandler) I'm Very Very Sneaky Sir- Ammelio (full quote)
  1. Hey Deeds, who's your friends? 2. This is ____ and ___ 3. I don't like em (full quote)
14345 1)Crazy-Eyes, I got your pizza just the way you like it. 2)French fries and oreos! You know me all too well, Deeds. (full quote)
14345 1)Look at Deedsy hangin' out with McInroe! That's awesome! 2)I love the Beach Boys! (full quote)
14345 1)Are you related to bill Dawson? 2)Uh, yes. He was my...relative. (full quote)
14345 1)You're not a school nurse. 2)Why don't you believe me? 1)You're too nice to be a school nurse. My school nurse was so mean to me whenever I'd say my stomach hurt, she'd tell me to stop complaining and go back to class. I miss my mother. (full quote)
14345 1)what's Deedsy doing up there?! 2)Deeds? I thought we were watching Scooby Doo. (full quote)
14345 1)Hey, one more thing. I saw that couple over there, it's their anniversary. Give them this. Don't say it's from us though. 2)This is like 20,000 dollars. 1)Tell them it was like a restaraunt giveaway or something like that. (full quote)
14345 1)I really like you a lot. 2)I like you too. 1)I can't stop thinking about you. 2)I can't stop thinking about YOU. 1)Please let me touch your feet. 2)Okay, this is getting weird. You can stand up now. (full quote)
14345 1)I'm still very worried about this. 2)what do you got in that pipe, hashish?! (full quote)
4066 I hail from Spain..Olay (flips guy off) (full quote)
  could u stop soaping your ass (full quote)
  1) Alright, peanutbutter and gumballs, nice combo. Don't worry about what happened, time heals all things. Except these crazy eyes. 2)Well it's good to be home, I know that much. 1)I wasn't talking to you Deeds, I was talking to that squirrel over there. 2)Oh. (full quote)
  whats up chuck? (full quote)
  1) time heals all....except for these crazy eyes...2)oh, that's too bad 3)i wasn't talking to you Deeds, i was talking to that squirel over there. (shows a picture of a mountain goat) (full quote)
  1) Time heals all things...but it can't fix these crazy eyes. 2) well...that's too bad. 3) I wasn't talking to you, Deeds. I was talking to that squirel over there. (shows a picture of a mountain goat.) (full quote)
peeper u climb mountains and built skycrapers u made tv shows and put out newspapers u were wicked good at doing stocks u liked it when emilio would change ur socks we never hung out and that makes me sad all the good times we could had but when i die uncle preston u better say cheers cause me and u are hanging at the pearly gates il bring the beers......ill bring the beers (full quote)
26879 1)I got to ask you a question if it hits you is it my point or yours 2)yours (full quote)
26879 Hey Crazy eyes here is your pizza just like you like it with oreos and pizza enjoy! 2) i already am! (full quote)
26879 hey crazy eyes i got your pizza just like you like it with oreos and french fries enjoy! 2) i already am (full quote)
26879 hey crazy eyes why are you in jail again 2) i bit a mailman again (full quote)
  Emillo: WOO WOO (full quote)
  Emillo: THAT IS MY BIRTHDAY! THAT IS ME! THAT IS MY money!! (full quote)
  All I heard was Blah, Blah, Blah, I'm a dirty tramp! (full quote)
  i like feet, i do not know why... (full quote)
  BOOB!!!!!!!! (full quote)
GenieChick You make more money than any of us, what did ya blow it on?....Shoes! (full quote)
GenieChick Or should I say MEOW! (full quote)
  B-B-B-BULLSHIT!! (full quote)
  B-B-B-BULLSHIT!! (full quote)
  1) well, here we are, Winchestertonfieldville. 2) YOu've gotta be shittin' me. (full quote)
alethia037 You underestimate my sneakiness. (full quote)
  1) Did u used to have a hump on ur back? 2) Yes I had a slight hump. 3)Look, its little Quasi Modo all grown up (full quote)
  1)We are looking for Longfellow Deeds. 2)is that Deed's first name? 1) If its the same deeds u r thinking of then yes, that is deed's first name. 2)well, i dont know deed's first name, maybe its greg. 1)maybe its longfellow 2)well, i dont know. I have another friend named Greg, want me to call him up? (full quote)
  1)Who are your friends? 2)well, this is secel and this is chuck. 1)oooh......... I dont like em! (full quote)
deliylah I watch the stock market channel all the time - I just watch because I suspect that anchor man of being an evil leprechaun. (full quote)
  I'm sorry, all I heard was blah, blah, blah I'm a dirty tramp (full quote)
1335 I think I shat myself!! (full quote)
  Crazy-Eyes: I wasn't talkin to you Deeds, I was talkin to that squrriel over there. Deeds: Oh. (full quote)
  deeds)why you in jail crazy-eyes? crazy-eyes) oh i bite at a mailman again, he was trying to cast a spell or something, you sure about that? deeds) i dont know maybe he was just waving. (full quote)
30916 My friend got me a mug one time that said it's hard to sour the eagles, when your surrounded by turkeys....but what you said was better. (full quote)
30916 I watch the stock market channel alot. Actually i watch because i suspect one of the weathermen to be an evil leprachaun...he can bullshit everybody else but he aint foolin' me! (full quote)
30916 Mom, you were the one who brought me to planet earth, You were the one who suffered through my 14 hour birth, You were the one who made me lemonade when i came back from play, I love you Mom, so have a wicked nice Mother's Day! (full quote)
30916 Deedsy, yo sick ass mo'fo, you gotta tap that before she goes off and starts bonin other guys kid...Boooyah! He thinks it's you! He thinks it's you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (full quote)
  Heroic is good...Depraved and insane is better. This footage you're getting--gorgeous. Keep it commin' (full quote)
  Deed's information is good. Please stop soaping your ass. (full quote)
  I think I just shat myself. (full quote)
  Sneaky sneaky. (full quote)
  im sorry , all i heard was blah blAh blah iM A DiRTY TRAMP (full quote)
  Shit no! I mean... NO. (full quote)
  Love ya Anderson... (full quote)
  So how's the elevator business treating ya, Ruben? Oh it has it's ups and downs... AHHAHAHAHHAA (full quote)
33026 1)Have you ever played (tennis) before? 2) No, but Johnny MacInroe said it was wicked easy. (full quote)
  whoa easy fella's boy the biggie fries are making a comeback. (full quote)
  hard to breeth feel's like floating, so full of love my heart's exploding, mouth is dry hands are shaking. my heart is yours for the taking, acting weird and not myself, dancing around like the keibler elf, finally time for this poor slub to no how it feels to fall in love. (full quote)
13284 Oh, I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp. (full quote)
  Murph:Look at Deeds hangin out with Macanroe that's awesome! Crazy Eyes: I love the beach boy's! (full quote)
  I watch the stock market channel all the time - I only do it because i suspect the newscaster guy of being an evil lepercon, he can bullshit everyone else but he aint foolin me (full quote)
  I think Heather Lemmon's got way too much time on her hands. Whoopie-Doo! (full quote)
  Im sorry all I heard was, Blah, Blah, Blah, I'm a dirty Whore! (full quote)
  deeds, you sick ass mofo, you gotta hit the before other guys start tappin' that..... boo yea! (full quote)
  My back hurts!!! (full quote)
BooG690 Now, Brother Preston is soaring with eagles above Because he lived a life of love. Yes, he's flying way up high, Because he was a supercool guy. He's gone away, too soon, it seems Leaving behind his unfinished dreams. Yes, we remember Preston Blake, A man with faith no man could shake. A strength no man could break. A character no man could fake. For goodness sake, let's eat some cake. (full quote)
  I watch the stock market channel all the time, I just watch because I suspect that anchor man of being an evil leprechaun. He can bullshit everybody else but he ain't foolin' me! (full quote)
  Not right...it's not right... (full quote)
  Woo! Feelin' crazy! (full quote)
BooG690 Hard to breathe, feels like floating, so full of love, my heart's exploding. Mouth is dry, hands are shaking, my heart is yours for the taking. Acting weird, not myself, dancing around like the Keebler elf. Finally time for this poor schlub to know how it feels to fall in lub. (full quote)
  even after 50 year i will love your more even when your boobs sag all the way down to the floor (full quote)
  BOOOOOOOOP! (full quote)
  How's that frosty treatin you Cecil. (full quote)
  Boob (full quote)
  Is Longfellow deeds around here? Is that deed's first name? If ur talking about Longfellow Deeds than yes. maybe its Frank? Or maybe its Longfellow? Maybe? but i don't know (full quote)
  Fire makes me excited! (when she has the camera up her shirt) (full quote)
  im sorry all i heard was bla bla bla im a dirty little tramp! (full quote)
10929 I watch the stock market channel all the time. (full quote)
  1)He's right! I wudda beat my greedy ass red! 2)I wudda thrown myself off the merry-go-round! 3)I wudda tied myself naked to a chair and burned myself with lit cigarettes. 3)Anyone here every dream of becoming a phyciatrist? (full quote)
  1) Enough about that! Tell me about this girl! 2) I like her. . . Shes a small town girl like me 3) the man at the pizza place takes over typing:Deedsy, you sick ass mo fo. you gotta tap that before she starts bumping other guys. 4) He thinks its you! He thinks its yoU! (full quote)
10929 I watch the stock market channel all the time. (full quote)
  It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys. (full quote)
42999 #1)That's hawaiian punch. #2)He adored hawaiian punch. #1)WOW! You kinda just... snuck up on me there, man. #2)I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir. (full quote)
42999 #1)This was our fireplace, where my dad would build fires... out of wood. And-- And this is the dining room, where we would have our meals made of food. Oh, and this was my brother's room. (opens door to closet)... My parents hated my brother. #2)My daddy built this house with his bare hands six years ago. #1)Well, your daddy is a liar. (full quote)
  Deeds-So hows the elevator business going? Ruben-Oh, you know, it has its ups and downs! (both together)-HAHAHAH! (full quote)
  Holy sheet eet's a cat. (full quote)
  I'm very very sneaky (full quote)
  b-b-b-b-b-bullshit (full quote)
10929 Are you sure about that? (full quote)
RachieAchie I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir. (full quote)
  Miss Dawson my tummy hurts...heehee....I got too much doodoo
in my underpants...make the stinky go away. (full quote)