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Kung Pow:Enter The Fist - 2002 Movie Quotes

Posted ByQuote
Beat Rice 1: First a joke. What do you get when you cross a bungee cord and an owl? (no response) My ass. Hahahahaha (full quote)
Beat Rice Ah. *hums to himself* Chicken go cluck-cluck, cow go moo. Piggy go *snort snort*, how about you? Gonna be an animal just like you.. (full quote)
Beat Rice But isn't 'Betty' a woman's name? (full quote)
Beat Rice 1: How'd you like it? 2: I'm sure on some planet your style is impressive. But your weak link is...this is Earth. (full quote)
23840 you broke a thermometer im my hand (full quote)
23883 no don't wimp-lo sucks as a fighter a child could beat him (full quote)
23883 ah yes play me like a drum (full quote)
23883 1) from now on you shall call me betty. 2) but... isnt betty a womens name? (betty rips off his jacket) 3) you must excuse master pain i-i mean betty its 12 o'clock and time for his nap. betty. 1)mm sleepy time (full quote)
Beat Rice *humming* MT: Oh, Taco Bell, Taco Bell. Product placement with Taco Bell. Enchirito, Bystanders: Mucho burrito! (full quote)
Beat Rice MT: goodbye, Sally. B: It's Betty, you son of a pig. The name is Betty! (full quote)
Beat Rice MT: *coughing* B: Do you need a glass of water or something? MT: *hacking, clearing throat* B: Jeez, at least cover your mouth! We're all going to get it! (full quote)
  killing is wrong. there should be another word for killing, like bad-wrong or badong. yes, killing is badong. i shall devote my life to the opposite of killing which is gnillik. (full quote)
  i hope they have iceeeeeeeeess.. i've chosen the large tub. (full quote)
  ohh.. ah-so cuuute... buh-bye (full quote)
  (Singing) Neo..... Banananana..... Sporen..... (full quote)
  WimpLo: He's an outsider. Ever seen him before? Ling: No. (after a few seconds) Ling: Hmm, well, yes. (full quote)
  Narrator: He walked...... And sometimes, drove. (full quote)
  ...But that would leave my small sensative balls unprotected... (full quote)
  They're aliens!!! And they're French!!! (full quote)
  Let me know if you see a Radio Shack. (full quote)
  THATS'S ALOT OF NUTS!!!!! (full quote)
  HE JUST LEFT...WITH NUTS!!!! (full quote)
Beat Rice 1. No you musn't! You're not ready! 2. Who are you? 1. I'm Ling's father. Weeoowee 2. Oh dear. (full quote)
Beat Rice We will meet again, many many the sequel. (full quote)
  Let your anger be as a monkey in a pinata hiding amoungst the candy hoping the kids don't break through with the stick (full quote)
  listen and listen well. I really like the band Nsync. My favorite member is Harpo. I think there is a Harpo. If not there should be. I could write their next big hint uhh boom boom chicka chicka boom boom (full quote)
  I am a magition, your clothes are red!.....(later)your clothes are black! (full quote)
  I'm sure your material is quite impressive on some planet. But, here's your weak link, this is Earth. (full quote)
26681 I am also a very powerful magician. your clothes are RED! (full quote)
  B: So...umm...what are you guys doing later... you wanto order a pizza or something? (full quote)
  1.where does it hurt 2. o pretty much around the big bloody spot (full quote)
Shaft1076 Wimp Lo: Take a close look, 'cuz I rule, baby! Chosen One: And who do you rule... the large dark-nipple people? (full quote)
Shaft1076 You go that way... I'll go home. (full quote)
Shaft1076 I spanked you as a baby, I'll spank you now, bitch! (full quote)
Shaft1076 I will kill him... I'll kill him dead... with, like, a rock or something... (full quote)
Shaft1076 your story makes my heart heavy, and my prostate weak. My bladder is full to bursting. (full quote)
Beat Rice B: Uh, Evil Council?(echo..) I got your message.(echo..) Evil Council?(echo..) ... Hello?(echo..) *chuckles* And now batting, Mike Piazza!(echo..) EC: *loud noise* B: Oh, I'm sorry. It's just echoey. (full quote)
  swinging the chain, swinging the chain (full quote)
  your story makes my heart heavy, my prostate weak, my bladder full to burst. (full quote)
  I remember a long time ago when a friend of mine told me there would be a chosen one..%&%#&there will be a chosen one..$#%#^366then he said of the significance.$#^$#^%it will be significant^$#@^$@^and then he killed the dog^$@%^(fart noise, dog dies)now I officially know too much, and why are you in bed...Oh you won't believe what happened next..No please! (full quote)
  Take me man meat we o we (full quote)
  Do not be of ling's shiness for it will pass..(.) (.)...there you go! (full quote)
  I'd like to have some of whatever he's smoking. (full quote)
  Jump that wall if your so great..up, up and away uggh.....Now we will learn whos the best..face the foot style, howd ya like it..I'm sure on some planet your style is impressive, but you weak link is, this is bout my nuts to your fist style hi-ya........please stop, wimp-lo sucks as a fighter, a child could beat himI'm gonna count to three and if I hear one more freakin squeek I'm gonna take his shoes and shove them up his-chosen one master paynes in town! (full quote)
  listen and listen well i really like the band nsync my favorite memeber is harpo i think theres a harpo if not there should be i will write there next hit maybe a boom boom chickie chickie boom boom (full quote)
  That’s like his stomach chunk on the ground. (full quote)
  And I always thought you were a sadistic psycho bitch (full quote)
  simmba my name is not simba wel anyways my name is mooshoofassa (full quote)
  the chosen one learned a valuable lesson that day steel claws hirt like crap (full quote)
  Narrator: At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuble lesson... Those iron claws hurt like CRAP, man! (full quote)
  Beware of his butt song... He beats you up while playing it! (full quote)
  hmmm, yes a tiny net is a death sentence. its a net and its tiny. (full quote)
  *lady picks up baby* ah, what a nice little baby *lady throws baby down hill* (full quote)
  I need you now, and in the worst way! Take me man meat!! But I don't want you to think I'm a slut!! (full quote)
  1: I am a great magician! your clothes are red! 2: wow! please do it again! (full quote)
  Who are you? The king of the large, dark nipple people? (full quote)
  I'm a man to you know, I go pee pee standing up (full quote)
  Ling: i loved him... he was like a friend to me... and now hes dead... except for his hair and nails... dead.... WAAAA (full quote)
  skeaky shoes (full quote)
  I am bleeding makong me the victor (full quote)
  I've chosen the large Tub. - Chosen One My nipples look like Milk Duds. - Wimp Lo Perhaps a cold frosted bev-rage. - Betty I hope they have icies! - Ling I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn. - Master Tang (full quote)
  Cuz I rule, baby - Wimp Lo ...and who do rule, the large dark nipple people? - Chosen One (full quote)
  We're children! We're children! -(Children in street waving sparklers) (full quote)
  Wimp Lo: But master...(squeaky shoe sound) Master Tang: (sigh) Again with the squeaky shoes. Wimp Lo: But master, I thought that one day I could be the chosen one. Tang: Shut up! Wimp Lo: But Master! Tang: Sit down! Wimp Lo: Arrghhh! Tang: Please forgive Wimp Lo, he is an idiot. We purposely trained him a joke. Wimp Lo: Hiya!...Oooowwaaaa...If you've got an ass...I'll kick it! (full quote)
  Betty: I do like the ladies...I like em...and they like-a me... (full quote)
  People have said I do things that are not correct to do...I do not believe in talk such as this. I am a nice man with happy feelings. First a joke, what do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee ass. Nyaa ha ha ha ha...ENOUGH! - Betty (full quote)
  You killed my family...and I don't like that kind of thing. -Chosen One (full quote)
  You have helped me reach the next level...and here I was thinking you were just a sadistic psycho bitch. -Chosen One (full quote)
  I could dance like that...if I wanted to. -Betty (full quote)
  Betty: (laughing) The evil council are ALIENS! (sound speaker comes out of hovering pyramid playing French music) Chosen One: They're French! (looking up in the sky with a serious expression) (full quote)
  Betty: Enjoy the PARALYZER!....another PARALYZER! (full quote) -Students training (full quote)
  Master Tang: Again! training Students: One of wearing...a push-up...bra. (full quote)
  Mmmmmm...momento. -Betty (full quote)
  We are both ventriloquist...ventriloguists, ventriloquists...we are both ventriloquists and we practice every day. 1) He carries a basquet. 2) He carries a paper roll. ...and we don't have cysts, but one thing is sure my friend, we are both ventriloquists. (full quote)
  Mayor: That tiny net was sure genious. At this very moment, he is out in a field, rotting like a papaya, while we are cozy in here, living the good life. Betty: Nyaa ha ha, yes, a tiny net is a death sentence. It's a net...and it's tiny. (full quote)
  Chosen One: Dog! (kneels down to help wounded dog) Not you's alright. (dog dies) Chosen One: No, it's not! (full quote)
  Mayor: Master Betty, might I inquire...what is the evil councils plan? Betty: Nrrrr ha is is sooooo is a bad bad plan...that will hurt...many...people...that are good. (full quote)
  Betty: You know the location of the Chosen One. Where is he? Ventriloquist: On the life of my dummy, i'll tell you this...i'll never tell you where he is! (full quote)
  At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about Iron Claws...they hurt like CRAP, man! -Narrator (full quote)
  Shirt ripper! -Betty (full quote)
  No, don't do that, it hurts. -Master Doe It's good, it's gooood. -Master Tang No, I have a wound there. -Master Doe Come on, don't spoil everything...this works for both of us...-Master Tang (full quote)
  Hmmm. I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like with, with a, rock or something. Like a, like a stone. (full quote)
  Chosen: Betty, i've come to finish something I should have finished a long time ago...remember these? *holds up booties* Betty: Well, I thought you looked familiar. I didn't recognize you without crap in your pants. (full quote)
  Mmmmm...tiger...tiger, tiger, tiger. *turns page* Bird...birdy, birdy, birdy...mmmmm. -Betty (full quote)
  Narrator: The child had grown into a man. Raised in the bottom of a gully, he was raised by rodents. Having no true home. He wandered the wilderness in the one who stole his life. So on he walked...and sometimes drove...and occasionally, partied with the desert creatures (Chosen dancing with animals around campfire). Little did he know, that before him lied a mystical road...(Chosen approaches a fighter) Fighter: Your days are over, mister. He lived under constant attack...(Chosen One fighting) What they did not accomplish as a child, they sought to finish...(more fighting)...Through his adversity, he learned to fight...(chops out a bikini out of fighter's clothes)...and fight well. (full quote)
  And beware his song about big butts...he beats you up while he plays IT! (dies) -Master Tang (full quote)
  Dog! It's okay, boy...(dog dies) it's not! -Chosen One (full quote)
  what are you guys doing later? I was just going to hang out, but maybe we could get a pizza...or scam some chicks or something, right? -Betty (full quote)
  Ling: Tell me, whatcha thinking? Chosen: About how best to deal with Betty. Ling: But you've mastered your technique. You should be able to beat him now. Chosen: I'm sorry? Ling: But you've mastered your technique. You should be able to beat him now. Chosen: I got everything up till the last part. Up until...You should be able. Ling: You should be BEAT him now. Chosen: Perhaps, but wooden dummies don't fight back. While i'm ripping out the caps, i'm completely defenseless. For instance, the first move could be like this...I could leap like a FREAK, then throw in a back stabbing eel-strike...BUT, he'd have a clear shot at my ribs. I could always pretend i'm a bird...but that would just looked stupid and leave my small sensitive balls completely exposed. The best approach would be to go for both caps at once. No matter what the tactic, they all have a flaw. Ling: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO BEAT HIM NOW! Chosen: No matter, I think I have an idea. (full quote)
  THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS BABY! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT! -Peanut salesman (full quote)
  Chosen One: Thank you squirl-friend. your soft squishy body helped absorb the force of his blow. Now, for my part of the bargain. *pours nuts into squirl's back* (full quote)
  Intermission Segment: Betty: Go get some snacks. Perhaps a carbonated SO-DA! Ling: I hope they have ICIES! Chosen One: I've CHOSEN...the large tub. Wimp Lo: My nipples look like Milk Duds. Master Tang: I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn...and it's non-dairy. (full quote)
  your curly-Q's make me so hot I can't think straight! (full quote)
  We're children, we're children we're children!!! (full quote)
  Students: One,,of us,,,is wearing.. a push=up's lacy and cute...and provides... support! (full quote)
  It would leave my tiny, sensitive balls open for attack. (full quote)
  Swinging the chain...swinging the chain. (full quote)
  I rock. And roll. All day long. Sweet Susie. (full quote)
  Ling: Rub it all in my hair (full quote)
  Now everybody obey Master Betty or He'll cut off your big toe. MMMM, Thats Tender (full quote)
  :: Iron claws come at master:: Master: Okay I had two choices A Avoid the iron claws get betty with a spinning back kick and win or B get hit with the Iron claws roll on the ground and die :: gets hit with claws:: should have gone with A (full quote)
  (guys training), one of us, is wearing a pushup bra, it is lacy, and cute... (full quote)
  wile making a demostration of his powers: betty: ¿what's your time? all: ¡hammer time! (full quote)
  I need gopher-chucks! (full quote)
  your days are over, Mithter. (full quote)
  Nomushufasa: must find ur part in the great circle of...(looks confused) shtuff. (full quote)
  1the aliens are french 2Oh yeah stinky pits and all baby yeah (full quote)
  Knock Knock, Whose there? your ass thats about to get kicked (full quote)
  Do as he says, or he'll cut off your big toe. (full quote)
19580 You just keep getting stranger and stranger. (full quote)
19580 I'll never be able to do it! Never! Don't look at me! (full quote)
19580 And here I was, beginning to think you were a sadistic, psycho bitch. (full quote)
19580 Look, Ling, those curly-cues on your face make me so hot I can't think straight! (full quote)
19580 I need gopher-chucks! (full quote)
BooG690 It is evil. It is so evil. It is a bad, bad plan that will hurt many people that are good. I think it's great 'cause it's so bad. (full quote)
BooG690 I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in such talk as this. I am nice man with happy feelings all of the time. First, a joke: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? MY ASS. (full quote)
BooG690 listen, and listen well. I really like the band 'Nsync. My favorite member is Harpo. I think there's a Harpo. If not, there should be. I will write their next hit, maybe. A-boom-boom chickie-chickie boom-boom boom-chickie chaka-chaka-choo-choo. (full quote)
BooG690 Hmm...yes, a tiny net is a death sentence, it's a net and it's TINY (full quote)
BooG690 So, what you guys doing later, huh? I was just going to hang out, but maybe we can get a pizza or, you know, scam some chicks or something, right? 'Cause, um, I don't know. I do like the ladies, you know. I do like 'em. I like-a them, and they like-a me back. (full quote)
  Water... everywhere. Im getting all wet. Im falling! You're falling! WHAAAAAAAAAALE!!! (full quote)
  This works for the both of us (full quote)
  Face to foot style! (full quote)
  I rock... and Roll, all day long sweet suzie! (full quote)
  We are two ventriloquists, but now we're upside down. He swings a little more, he swings a little less but we are still two ventriloquists. (full quote)
  Umm guys...he said something about throwing us off...guys...umm guys maybe we should...umm...guys...guys...umm. Oh well, don't tell mum. (full quote)
  Ah Master Pain. We are so glad you could come and beat random people in our village. (full quote)
  Ah Master Pain. We are so glad you could come and beat random people in our village. (full quote)
  we are vantriliquists, vantriliquists, vantriliquists... (full quote)
  My nipples look like Milk Duds (full quote)
  Hes dead, except for his hair and nails... dead.....wqhuaaa, Why did you run off.....why did you leave me! (full quote)
  Ling:The Chosen One disappeared last night, what have you done with him? Betty: Funny...I thought you could tell me... Ling: In your dreams! Wee-oh! Betty: Hmmmh, I like em fiesty. (full quote)
  Betty: You know the location of the Chosen One, where is he?! Ventroliquist: On the life of my dummy, I swear, I'll never tell you where he is, hyun! (strikes a fighting pose) (full quote)
  Hillbilly: Chosen One! (running) Hillbilly: Chosen One! Master Pain is in town! Oooo whine whine... (full quote)
  Lackey Mayor: Master Betty my compliments, that tiny net was sure fire! Betty: Hm yes, the net is a death sentence, its a net and its tiny! Lackey Mayor: (agreeing) Sure, at this very moment he's out in field, rotting like a papaya, while we're in here cozy, and enjoying the good life! (sticks out a thumbs up) Betty: (laughing and chuckling) Nyah, hah hyan, hah hyan, hah hyan... (full quote)
  Betty: Ok, I'll rock your bouncing booty. Hit it! (full quote)
  Betty: O-Pen the mouth! (full quote)
  Lackey Mayor: Master Tang? what are you doing here? Master Tang: I've come to kick ass. (full quote)
  Betty:(Laughing dangling bootie) Ha Ha! Bootie! Ha Ha... (full quote)
  Betty: (reading scroll with tigers on it)mmm...tyega...tyega......tyega, tyega, tyega. Betty: (flips scroll with cranes) mmm...bird. Bird...birdie birdie...mmhmm. (full quote)
  Betty: Mmmm I'm just a birdie too! (full quote)
  I have some yellow liquis for your popcorn! And it's non-dairy! (full quote)
  He was my father my entire life, and now he's dead....except for his hair and nails....DEAD! weeeeeeoh! (full quote)
  As you know, I am a man of special needs.. prepare the long rubber glove! eenie meenie, miney moe. I wonder where my GLOVE will go..(glove snapping in background) (full quote)
  Nobody say anything to mom (full quote) know...if you see...a RadioShack... (full quote)
  Chosen one!.... Im Coming! Chosen one!.... Im Coming! Chosen one!.... Im Coming! Chosen one!.... Im Coming! (full quote)
  Control your anger like a monkey in a pinyata. Hiding behind the candy, hoping that the children will not break through with the stick! (full quote)
  your story makes my heart heavy and my prostate weak, however it will be impossible for us to help you. CO: i implore you to reconsider MT: hmm O.K (full quote)
  I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn, and its non dairy to! (full quote)
  my finger points! (full quote)
  face to foot style, how do you like it. now try my nuts to your fist style! (full quote)
  i have some yellow liquid to put on your popcorn...... and its non-dairy (full quote)
  Master Betty: Hmmm. I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like with, with a, rock or something. Like a, like a stone. (full quote)
  If you are the chosen one you must bear the mark (full quote)
  Banananana NEO, banananananana Sporin (full quote)
  My finger points! (full quote)
  your confidence is disproportional to your abilities. You think losing is winning. (full quote)
  Bird.....birdie...birdie birdie.... (full quote)
  I do like teh ladies, I do like 'em...I likea them and they likea me back (full quote)
  your days are over mister. (full quote)
26795 I need this special skill (full quote)
Amidala I remember when a good friend of mine told me there would be a chosen one. *memory fades in* There will be a chosen one. *memory fades out* I remember he told me it would be significant. *memory fades in* It will be significant. *memory fades out* And then, he killed, the dog. *memory fades in* *fart* *dog whining* *memory fades out* (full quote)
rhps2000 When you girls are done kissing, I've got some ass kicking for you! (full quote)
rhps2000 Alfalfa! (full quote)
rhps2000 Big deal! Up and awaaay! (full quote)
rhps2000 This is CNN. CNN. CNN. CNN. CNN. (full quote)
rhps2000 So you really think that's hot? 'Cause I'll show you hot! (full quote)
rhps2000 You must be quite a fighter to make a past my cow. (full quote)
ABWarrior58 Hmmm. I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like with, with a, rock or something. Like a, like a stone (full quote)
ABWarrior58 Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick! (full quote)