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Haggard: The Movie - 2002 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  Falcone: Remember that cat you used to have? Raab: Ohhh, KEYKEY? (full quote)
  You paint your face fluorescent yellow and you want a sip of my booze?! (full quote)
  Teenagers were meant to fuck!!! (full quote)
  I know there's a fucking five in here somewhere (full quote)
  listen, Ryan's at it again. He just got stabbed in the eye with a fork at the coffee shop, and now he's got to rock a pirate patch for at least a month, it's ridiculous. (full quote)
  hellboy? you left me for someone named fucking hellboy? what the hell is the matter with you? (full quote)
  yeah, i'm going drinking. but not with you cuz you're a whipped ass bitch. (full quote)
  i don't have time in my life for a half-assed pirate right now. (full quote)
  that was the most pussified attempt i have ever seen. (full quote)
  your predicament does not justify causing a public disturbance. - tony hawk (full quote)
  i'll kill your face. don't touch me. (full quote)
  you ain't got love. you ain't got shit - chester of liverpool (full quote)
  seriously, know that shit off or i'm gonna punch your throat off your body. (full quote)
  HELLBOY FUCKING FINGERED ME! (full quote)
  RY: DUDE! SHE GOT FINGERED! Valo: Chill theres people in here (full quote)
  You made him wait it out. Class act, good job, give your mom a call she'll be proud (full quote)
  Valo: seriously, if you touch me again...I will kill your face so hardcore. Raab:See Falcone, I told you he hated me! (full quote)
  what is the purpose of breaking bottles? (full quote)
  Glauren: I want loud music, hard drinking,....I wanna play the field...of DICKS! Ryan: EuH!! (full quote)
  Imagine a guy named Hellboy, and that's what he looks like! (full quote)
  Wooh Da Doo Doo! I just came thru to see what you and your crew wanna gonna do?? (full quote)
  Falcone: OH Woo doo doo! Hey you got the new Gnar kill CD? Clerk: Of course i have the new CD because they RULE! FAlcone: Well i just heard the new single and they FUCKIN SUCK! Clerk: They are the ultimate band and if you say one more word about them i'll rip your face off!!!! (full quote)
  Naked Dave: Have you tried breaking bottles behind wah wah? Valo: What the fuck is that gonna do? Guy: Yo call up Dae-Dae Dig some holes, burn some wood? Valo: How far do you dig? What do you do while the woods burning, it just doenst make since to me? (full quote)
  I just dont have time in my life right now for some half assed pirate! (full quote)
  Glauren: What I need right now is heavy metal music, hard drinking, mayhem...Shit you can't offer me right now, Okay Ryan!....You always want shit to stay the same, I need to get out of there. I wanna play the field...of DICKS! Ryan: EUH!! (full quote)
  Falcone: So, hows school going Raab? Raab: Laaail! Not so good...I lost by scedule at the begining of the sumester, and aaaa, I couldent find my classes for like a month and a half! Got three Ds and an F. Not that bad considering I passed. Falcone: Why dident you just go to the advising office and get a new scedule? Raab: They only give you one that it. (full quote)
  Valo: Let me have a grape! Don Vito: No these are my grapes your grapes are at the store. Valo: your seriously not gunna let me have a grape? Don Vito: There, theres one rolling down the walkway have that one! This jerk off invites all his friends over, they wanna eat all my stuff! (full quote)
  That shit is for eleventeen year olds!! (full quote)
  Why dont you take that new sports watch and time how long it takes you to get your friend out of jail, huh ya like that? (full quote)
  Thats ri-god-damn-diculous! (full quote)
  Ryan Dunn:So how'd it go/ Falcone:it went beautifally/Valo: FUCK YOU/Ryan Dunn:What happend/Valo:your brillant plan just got me pissed on by helboys sick dick. (full quote)
  NO jerkoff! (full quote)
  A mountian Bike Made of Diamonds! (full quote)
  I'm going to take my bicycle and pick him up-Falcone good you do that-Valo (full quote)
  Rabb: Can I get a sip of your vodkee at the speak easy? (full quote)
14963 Some girl stabbed Ryan in the eye, now he's gotta rock a pirate-patch for at least a month. (full quote)
14963 Valo : Yo, what was it like though, bein' in jail for the first time? Was it good? Ryan: Just drop it. Valo : Did you meet any new friends? Ryan: Just drop it, alright? (full quote)
14963 Don't touch me, or I'll seriously kill your face, it's so hardcore. (full quote)
14963 Glauren : What I need right now is heavy metal music, hard drinkin, mayhem, shit you can't offer me right now, okay Ryan? Ryan Dunn : Who are you? You don't even like fast music - you don't even drink. Glauren : Yeah. Before I met Hellboy. You know what your problem is? You always want shit to stay the same, okay? I need to get out there. I wanna play the field - of dicks. Ryan Dunn : Eww. (full quote)
  Hey what about my money? Thats not very fair...get it...fare? ehh money ain't everything, still got my pot. (full quote)
  Falcone: I like chocolate, I like fudge, if I can't make any, I won't budge (full quote)
  Valo: Alright dude, seriously just relax okay? Look at that girl over there. She's reading a book alone. If that's not an invitation, I don't know what is. Ryan Dunn: what are you talking about, Valo? It's a coffee shop. People like that come here to get away from people like us. Valo: She is looking for ass, I can see it. Ryan Dunn: what does it matter? I look like shit. Valo: Go talk to her. Ryan Dunn: what do I say? Valo: I don't know. Compliment her on that tattoo or something. Ryan Dunn: Yeah, that'll work. It sounds so fucking lame. Valo: Worked for Glauren. (full quote)
  Ryan Dunn: You look beautiful today. Glauren: You look like shit. Ryan Dunn: Gee thanks, why do you think I'm in here? I'm getting my hair cut. I know I look like shit. (full quote)
  Ryan Dunn: You look beautiful today. Glauren: You look like shit. Ryan Dunn: Gee thanks, why do you think I'm in here? I'm getting my hair cut. I know I look like shit. (full quote)
  Ryan Dunn: You look beautiful today. Glauren: You look like shit. Ryan Dunn: Gee thanks, why do you think I'm in here? I'm getting my hair cut. I know I look like shit. (full quote)
  Fat Guy with Watermelon: You picked the wrong motherfucker to fuck with! (full quote)
  Ryan Dunn: Dude! She got fingered! (full quote)
  Don Vito: [to Ryan, through restaurant window] what're you *doin'* in there? I've been looking all over for you to... feed me some grapes! (full quote)
  Valo: what the fuck is wrong with all my friends? (full quote)
  Valo: Let me guess: some sort of experiment? Falcone: Spearmint? I'd rather Wintergreen. What are you talkin' about? Valo: The TV. It's sideways. Falcone: Why wouldn't it be sideways? I have to watch it with my neck straight, so I'm comfortable. Otherwise I'd have a taco neck, ya know? Valo: Did you take acid? Falcone: ...yea. (full quote)
  [after showing Ryan the tape of Hellboy and Glauren having sex] Ryan: I'm gonna rip Hellboy a new asshole. Valo: No, I think Hellboy ripped Glauren a new asshole. (full quote)
  [Glauren and Hellboy are having sex; Valo and Falcone are eavesdropping] Glauren: Teenagers were meant to fuck. Valo: Did she just say teenagers were meant to fuck? (full quote)
  Ryan Dunn: That's a nice tattoo you got there. What does that mean? Girl at Coffee Shop: It means desire. Ryan Dunn: Desire huh? What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean you're into dudes with fuckin' long hair, smell like beer, have shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling alley! Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's sittin' at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn. (full quote)
  Officer: I gotta take you in. Valo: Aww, for the love of fucks sake, you CAN'T take him in. Officer: I gotta make an arrest here; I had a complaint... Valo: Whwhwhwh, wait, I got this sports watch, you can have it, here (full quote)
  Glauren: What I need right now is heavy metal music, hard drinkin, mayhem, shit you can't offer me right now, okay Ryan? Ryan Dunn: Who are you? You don't even like fast music - you don't even drink. Glauren: [indignant] Yeah. Before I met Hellboy. You know what your problem is? You always want shit to stay the same, okay? I need to get out there. I wanna play the field - of dicks. [beat] Ryan Dunn: Eww. (full quote)
  Why does he freak out like such a faggot? (full quote)
  Ryan : Trains.Nazies.HellBoys sick dick. (full quote)
  Bam:what the hell is that... (looks at the rino tatoo)..you got that fuckin rino for Glauren didn't you.. Ryan: what? NO. I've always like Rinos... you know that! (LATER IN THE MOVIE WHILE RYAN IS TALKING TO GLAUREN) Ryan:I got a rino tatoo.. Glauren: Aw, did u do that for me?. Ryan: YOU BET I DID! :) (full quote)
  Ryan Dunn: No I just got in I was out golfing. (full quote)
  Dooley: Why weren't you at the rager last night? Valo: Maybe because you didn't invite me! Dooley: Watch your mouth sweetheart. (full quote)
  Falcone-hahaha, can't believe...hahaha...you got with Hellboy's sister. Valo:I know and I was so into her. Falcone:So is Ryan over Glauren? Valo:Yeah but he's doing the same thing with this girl. Falcone:Hahahaha...I never saw it coming though, lets go to the bakery. (full quote)
36054 Valo: He definitly doesn't wear the pants in that relationship. Falcone: Pants? He wears girls underwears! (full quote)
36054 Valo: Dudes come up to her. It's not like she's getting eatin' out on stage for 311 tickets. (full quote)
36054 Falcone: Fuck you, that's what I'm going to say. (full quote)
36054 Falcone: Later on, do you want to go to the bakery? I can almost taste it with my nose, ever feel that way? We can go there. We can go in a car. Huh, how would you like that? Valo: What are you talking about? You don't have a car and neither do I. Falcone: I know just where to get a car. My cousin, I'm picking him up. You can come with me and we'll take the car together. What? Valo: Do not tell me it's Raab. Falcone: Yeah, why? Valo: I hate that kid, that's why! Falcone: It's a car. Valo: Yeah, I don't car if it's a car, I don't car if it's the goddamn Batmoble. I don't want to drive with him. (full quote)
36054 Cop: I have to make an arrest here, I had a complaint. Valo: I have this sports watch, you can have it. Here. Ryan: Please shut up. Cop: You don't want to make any more trouble for yourself, son. Tell you what, you take your sports watch and you time how long it takes you to get your buddy out of jail. Huh, you like that? (full quote)
36054 Falcone: I'm making technology of my own. Reverse microwave, it's like..oh, you don't have to cry 'cause you're not involved. (full quote)
36054 Valo: Let me guess, some sort of experiment. Falcone: Spearmint? I prefer Wintergreen. (full quote)
36054 Falcone: Yeah, I popped a boner for you. Fuck you! (full quote)
36054 Contest Announcer: You like the back door? Go on in. You don't even have to knock! (full quote)
36054 Taxi driver: Black taxi, what else would I drive? A gay van? (full quote)
36054 Falcone: Don Vito is a whore about grapes. (full quote)
36054 Valo: Tell him about how Hellboy is in for it. Falcone: You know Hellboy? He is in for it! (full quote)
46152 Why are you humping on the caboose? (full quote)