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Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story - 2004 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  No one makes me bleed my own blood (full quote)
  I think its about time you put your mouth where our balls are (full quote)
  Cotton: Folks, in my 25 years of commentating, I thought I'd seen it all. Ive seen the Ifle Tower in Paris, I've seen the Pyramids in Egypt, I've even seen a grown man pleasure a camel, but I have never seen this. Peter LaFluer has just blindfolded himself. Pepper: Yes Cotton, that will mean that he is not able to see Cotton. (full quote)
  if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball (full quote)
  Tuchey! (full quote)
  Pepper needs new shorts... (full quote)
  i talked to white early today and he said his team really wants to win, cotton? (full quote)
  Here at Globo Gym we're better than you and we know it! (full quote)
  You're no better than a poopie flavored lollipop (full quote)
  You're about as useful as a boobie flavored lollipop. (full quote)
  Joanie loves Chachie. (full quote)
  Cram it up your cram hole LaFluer! (full quote)
  I've been to the Great wall of China and I've seen the pyramaids in Egypt, I've even seen a grown man satisfy a camal. (full quote)
  It's a 32 team match-up with 4 wins getting you into the finals and that fith win getting you the K everyone is chasing, Cotton. (full quote)
  Let me get a bottle of water. Hey aren't you Peter LaFluer? I'm a huge fan, I've been following the tournament on ESPN 8 the ochco, I just can't get enough of it. Aren't you Lance Armstrong? Yeah that's me. Hey, shouldn't you be getting to the game? Well, actually, I kind of quit. I remember a time when I thought about quitting. I was diagnosed with brain, lung, and testicular cancer, all at the same time, but with the support of my family and friends, I wound up getting back on the bike, and winning five Tour De' Frances in a row. So, what are you dieing form that's keeping you from the game? Well, actually, it seems kind of minor right now, shame. Well, i'm sure this isn't a dissision that will haunt you for the rest of your life, good luck. (full quote)
39046 I like to break a mental sweat too (full quote)
  If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball! (full quote)
  You're about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop. (full quote)
  It's because Im white. W-H-I-T..........E, of course. (full quote)
  If you want dodgeball victory, you've gotta grab it by its haunches and you gotta hump it into submission - that's the only way! (full quote)
  you gotta learn the five D's of dodgeball. dodge, duck, dip, dive, and...dodge. (full quote)
  I have a very specific goal...and that is to have no goals. (full quote)
  that's great. go ahead, make your jokes, mister...jokey...jokemaker. (full quote)
  that's great. go ahead, make your jokes, mister...jokey...jokemaker. (full quote)
  White - I'm not as stupid as you think that I thought that you said that I was once. (full quote)
  I don't think they make any 'I'm sorry your coach just got crushed by two tons of irony' hallmark cards. (full quote)
  -I think we'll just take our chances in the tournament- -Yeah you will take your chances in the tournament.- -That's what I just said.- -That's what I'm sayin' to you....toushee.- (full quote)
  Do you believe in unlikelyhoods!!?? (full quote)
  Do you believe in unlikelyhoods!!?? (full quote)
  It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a goddamn doorknob. (full quote)
  Donde esta la biblioteca, Pedro? (full quote)
  I'm not as dumd as you think I think I thought I was once. (full quote)
  If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. (full quote)
  This is like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob. (full quote)
  This is where we separate the men from the boys; and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian. (full quote)
  I mean theres no reason we should be shackled by the strictures of the employee empolyer relationship, unless of course you're into that sort of thing ehuhuhhaha, in which case I got some shackles in the back. eh huh hah. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got them. (full quote)
  That is what I love about you Kate,you've got a personality! (full quote)
  We should mate. Huh? what? Date. I said date. You know, socially. (full quote)
  Don't crap where you eat. (full quote)
  Allow me the pleasure of introducing to you: Blade. Laser. Blazer. I believe you've met my fitness consigliarian Meshell. Oh, and I almost forgot, our last player. Meet Fran Stellinaskavich de Bediviski. In her home country of Romanovia, Dodgeball is the national sport, and her nuclear power plant's team won the championship 5 years running, which makes her the deadliest woman on earth, with a dodgeball. (full quote)
  Hey White I didn't know Nazi camp got out early? Did you decide to skip arts and crafts? Yes I did. (full quote)
  It's called the Freedom of Information act, Kate. Ha, Finally the hippies got soemthing right. Just kidding, but not really. (full quote)
  your adopted. your parents don't even love you. (full quote)
  if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball! (full quote)
  (1. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. 2) You know, some cultures only eat vomit. I've never seen it but I did read it...in a book! (full quote)
  There's a guy on our team that's dressed like a pirate? (full quote)
  Unfortunatly for Troup 417, during the ADAA requierd random drug screening, one of your players tested ositive for 3 seperate types of anabolic steroids, as well as a low grade... beaver tranqualizer. So, I guess the winner of this years Dodgeball Regional Qualifying Match, as well as the grammar Jamboree, is Average Joe's Gym. (full quote)
  End of Demo. (full quote)
  Well at least that wasn't weird. (full quote)
  Ok, ok I overdid. 2 expired movie passes and a coupon for one free back rub from Peter La Fleur? You play your cards right that could turn into a full body. (full quote)
  If it's almost a sport, we got it here. (full quote)
  I feel like I'm watching a Cher video, Cotton. (full quote)
  Cotton McKnight: And White Gordon with his patented peek-a-boo attack telling Suzuki Toyota Oshinawa that this is his dojo. (full quote)
  I mean cmon, I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you. (full quote)
  Fine, we lost the match, but none of this matters anyway, La Loser, cause you sold your gym to me last night remember, and I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midus's silver. You're right White, you're absolutly right. Greed won out in the end, and money won, is a lot sweeter then money earned. Here are your winnings Mr. La Fluer, congradulations. Thanks boys right, on time, I appreciate it. What, what, what is that? Oh, I thought I'd take your advice White, and invest it. So, I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night, and put it on us to win, we were going out at a 50-to-1 shot. Anyway, off the top of there head, 50 times 100,000? 50,000 dollars? 5 million dollars, Peter, are you kidding me? So, I thought, why not invest it in something worthwhile, like the controlling stake of Globo Gym. That's perposterous, I'd never allow it. Globo Gym is a publically traded company, there's nothing you can do about. You hear that White, I'm gonna be your boss. You're not my boss, no ones my boss, I'm my own boss, I created mnyself. (full quote)
  No one can resist when White goodman puts on his shiny shoes. (full quote)
  Why don't we just pay it in Canadian dollars. OK fine, just, if that's a route your interested in traveling down, it's $50,000 American, it'd be $70,000 roughly Canadian. How are we gonna get $120,000. (full quote)
  Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur? Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong! Lance Armstrong: Ya, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours Peter La Fleur: Really? Lance Armstrong: Ya, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late. Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance. Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France 5 times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from the finals? Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame. Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever. (full quote)
  White: You slept with three of my female trainers. Peter: That was one night. White: Or that Strip-o-gram you sent me for the Globo Gym 1 year anniversary. Peter: The stripper was ment to be congradulatory. White: It was also a man. Peter: Come on White, you and me are basically the same guy. White: Oh really, last I heard my gym makes money, yours doesn't. My gym is worth over $4 million dollars, yours isn't worth 4. I have share holders, you haven't even got... cup holders. Peter: Why would I want cup holders. (full quote)
  White goodman: Oh, hello Kate. I wasn't aware I was paying you to 'socialize' Kate: You're not. I'm off the clock. White goodman: Well isn't that convenient for you? And the clock. (full quote)
  Peter: Patches, are you sure this is really necessary. Patches: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway 'cause it's sterile and I like the taste. (full quote)
  You're their leader Pete. You're like their Fonzee... EH! (full quote)
  If the team forfeits, it will really hurt their chances of winning. (full quote)
  donde esta la biblioteca? (full quote)
  Fatty make a funny? (full quote)
  Coton: He's balless now. Pepper: He doesn't have any balls Cotton! (full quote)
  Patches: Oh my sweet dick it's magic! (full quote)
  Dwight: Yeah he'll probably fall off the rollercoaster and break every bone in his body. Kate: Nice, Dwight. Dwight: I'm just sayin it happens. My cousin Ray Ray (Pause Then Motions Hand down) Boop. Dead. (full quote)
  Cotton: It looks like the clock is about to strike 12 on this Cinderella Story turning the average Joes into the perverbial pumpkin. Pepper: I sure do like pumpkins Cotton. (full quote)
  Now he thinks hes a philosophizer (full quote)
  Lets pecker slap these guys! (full quote)
  Buckle up lillies (full quote)
  It was like watching a bunch a retarts trying to hump a doorknob (full quote)
  C'mon, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are. (full quote)
  Lets go crotch stain (full quote)
  They better chiggity check themselves before they wreck themselves. (full quote)
  I don't think they meant assless chaps! (full quote)
  Ive got shareholders, you donĀ“t even have cupholders! (full quote)
  Adonde esta la Bibliateca peter? (full quote)
  i can be naughty, real freaky naughty (full quote)
  this doesnt concern you LaFleuer....well not nearly as much as your hair does (full quote)
  we should mate...we should date, you know socially, go out and kick it (full quote)
  ok, crazy guy, if you dont mind i think im just gonna go home now...i aint crazy and i aint a guy... (full quote)
  This tournament will separate the men from the boys, the strong from the weak, and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian. (full quote)
  There's no reason that we should be shackled by the employee employer relationship. Unless your into that short of thing ..heh...in that case I've got some shackles in the back..heh. Just kidding, but serioulsny, I've got them. (full quote)
  Nobody makes me bleed my own blood... NOBODY!!! (full quote)
  I like unicorns (full quote)
  White- You are going down La Fleur. Peter (talking to White)- Don't go crying to your mommy when I spank you in front of all of these people. White (talking to Peter)- Well don't go crying to your daddy when I clean it up with you. (full quote)
  CRAM IT UP your CRAM HOLE LAFLUER!!! (full quote)
  Kate: wow, nice painting. White: thanks, it's of me taking the bull by the horns..it's a metaphor-but it really happened (full quote)
  'L' for love!!!! (full quote)
  Kate: That's a very... interesting painting you got their. Thanks. That's me taking life by the horns. It's a metaphore... But that really happened. (full quote)
  Heh, you in to that sort of thing? I've got some shakkles in the back! (chuckles). I'm just kidding... But really, I've got em'. (full quote)
  (Peter looks down at old peice of cloth as Patches face appears in the cloth) Patches: Listen up crotch stain! (full quote)
  Here at Globo Gym, we understand that fatness is a genetic, like baldness, or necrophilia. (full quote)
  this is pathetic! will someone just catch a damn ball? its like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doornob out there~ (full quote)
  The hippies finally got something right. Just Kidding. Not really. (full quote)
  You're like a bunch of fucking retards trying to hump a doorknob. (full quote)
  That's more like it boy, get in there nice and deeply... (full quote)
  your as useful as a cock flavoured lollypop (full quote)
  Now he's a philosophizer! (full quote)
  those jeans make u look fat (full quote)
  You're adopted! your parents don't even love you! (full quote)
  You don't have to be stuck with what you've got... we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it. (full quote)
  Ouch-town; population you bro! (full quote)
  Im not on the clock right now. Well that really great for you...and the clock. (full quote)
  its me...grabbing the bull by the horns, its the way I look at life, its a metaphor...but it really happened (full quote)
  You're about as useful as a poopie flavored lollipop. (full quote)
  DAMNIT BERNICE! (full quote)
  White: Are you okay? Ms. Veatch: Yeah I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. White: You know in some places, they only eat vommit; I never been there, but I read about it...IN A BOOK (full quote)
  I hope you'll exucse Meshell he's had some digestive problems. Could you clse that? C'mon for all of us baby. (full quote)
  I can be real nasty...real FREAKIN' nasty! (full quote)
10929 Thank you, Chuck Norris. (full quote)
34821 You're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollypop. (full quote)
36199 Is this really necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Probably not. You're right, but I drink it anyway, 'cause it's sanitary and I like the taste. (full quote)
36199 #1 Unbelievable. It looks like average Joe's is forfeiting the game. #2 That's a bold move, Cotton, we'll see if it pays off. (full quote)
39286 Peter La Fleur:You had me at blood and semen. (full quote)
39364 1.)Noone makes me bleed my own blood... 2.) (enthusiastically) Hey Rory!...Look'n good (full quote)
39364 Meechelle.... (full quote)
41914 You're adopted. your parents don't even love you (full quote)
  Fatty Made A Funny (full quote)
  your adopted..your parents don't even love you (full quote)
  your going down like a sweet muffin! (full quote)
  THAT IS PURE POPPY-COCK! (full quote)
  Trucker at carwash: Yeah!!!Get that there nice and deep like!!!! (full quote)
  I Sure Do like Pumpkins Cotten (full quote)
  What... did fatty make a funny?? (full quote)
  Oh snap!! (full quote)
  boogers god your such an idiot joanie go kissy kissy with the bridemaid you snotface snot head (full quote)
  jonie loves chachie (full quote)
  donde esta la bibioteca (full quote)
  white: Ive got some shackles in the back...no im just kidding...but seriously i got em (full quote)
  You work for the bank, the bank works for me... so if-so-facto, im your boss. (full quote)
  It's White! (full quote)
  I had a chance to talk to White goodman today, Cotton. He said his team really wants to won this one. (full quote)
  White: What are you kidding me? I'm out here, bustig my butt, and your gunna come out here and make a bushleague call like that? thats bullcrap! (full quote)
  I told you she was a lesbian...yeh thats was a good call. (she walks over after kissing another women) No i'm bisexual (full quote)
  Dwight-Man she's got to be a lesbian. Peter-She's not a lesbian. Patches-All I know is that dike can play. (full quote)
  Patches- Hey I got some hookers in my room. Why don't you come up, my treat. Peter- No, i think ill just hang down here. Patches- Suit yourself qwere (full quote)
  goddam you bernice ! (full quote)
  It happened to my cousin Ray-Ray, BOOP! Dead. (full quote)
  1) Hey Dereck, sweet dew. 2) Get bent helmet (full quote)
  We're sweating like grease monkeys out here, how do you expect us to hold onto balls??!!! (full quote)
  get bent helmet (full quote)
  Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! (full quote)
  no one makes me bleed my own blood (full quote)
  I didn't know Nazi camp was allowed out yet. what did you did, skip Arts and Crafts? (full quote)
  your gym is the skidmark on the underpants of society. (full quote)
  Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degradation. So, when you're picking players in gym class remember to pick the bigger, stronger kids for your team. That way, you can all gang up on the weaker ones. (full quote)
  i love michael jeffery parsons! (full quote)
  You're in a chinese opium den timmy! (full quote)
  You're adopted and your parents don't even love you! (full quote)
  You don't get to touch me ever! (full quote)
  No one makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody! (full quote)
  That guy's a dickhead. (full quote)
  nessisery is it nessisery to drink my own urin no but i do anyway cause its steril and like the tast (full quote)
  Yeah you, queerbag (full quote)
  Peter: Is this really necessary? Patches: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Peter: Probably not. Patches: No, but I do it anyway, because it's sterile and I like the taste. (full quote)
  (Appears in his scarf to Peter) Patches: Listen up, crotch-stain. Remember your training and trust your instincts. You can do it! I believe in you!... Bye bye. (disappears) (full quote)
  Is it neccesary for me to drink my own urine!...no. But its sterile and I like the taste. (full quote)
  Ooch town population you, bro (full quote)
  i've got some shakles out the back if you want to go for a ride... just kidding. But seriously, i've got them! (full quote)
  That makes as much sense as a cockflavoured lollipop (full quote)
  your about as useful as a cock flavoured lollipop!! (full quote)
  This is Seth from videorama the following DVD's are now overdue: (full quote)
  Winner: Troop 417 (full quote)
  Fu@#ing Chuck Norris (full quote)
  We're sweating like greased monkeys out here, I can't hold onto the ball! (full quote)
  Cram it up your crap hole La Fleur! (full quote)
  You're out four eyes! (full quote)
  Right in the tuccus! (full quote)
  Wait. There's a guy on our team who thinks he's a pirate? (full quote)
  1) This is it La Loser! 2) Don't go crying to your mom when I beat you here. 1) Don't go crying to your dad when I wipe it up with your face! (full quote)
  Yeah he will not be able to see very well Cotton. (full quote)
  You're going down like a sweet muffin (full quote)
  If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. (full quote)
  hes apholpizer (full quote)
  Now He is a Philoshizer (full quote)
  is this really necessary? Is drinking my own urine necessary? No but i do it anyway because its sterile and i like the taste (full quote)
  Welcome to ESPN 8(The Ocho). If its almost a sport we've got it. (full quote)
  I'm White. W-H-I-T.........................E. (full quote)
  You're about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop. (full quote)
  Cram it up your cramhole Lafluer (full quote)
  Just don't go cryin to your mama when I spank you in front of all of these people White. Oh yeah, don't go cryin to your dad when I wipe it up with your face. (full quote)
8563 I would love to see that pretty little bone structure of yours around here some more. I mean, there's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. [chuckles] I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em. (full quote)
8563 We should mate. (full quote)
8563 You guys had me at blood and semen. Come here. (full quote)
8563 I mean, we gotta start looking at this Irish wake style. (full quote)
8563 I'm curious. Is it strictly apathy or do you really not have a goal in life? (full quote)
8563 You don't get to touch me, ever. (full quote)
10666 -Was that necessary? -Necessary? Is it necessary that I drink my own urine? -Probably not. -Well I do because its sterile and I like the taste. (full quote)
10666 -We should mate. -what? -I said we should date. (full quote)
28233 Hey White. you look awfully fat in those pants. (full quote)
40905 Well, if you can't raise fifty-thousand dollars with an impromptu carwash, I guess it just wasn't in the cards. (full quote)
41892 F***ing Chuck Norris (full quote)
44339 1:what's a taint? 2: Don't know. Sounds bad. (full quote)
44339 I'll strike a barter with ya, true as the north star! (full quote)
44657 You're adopted and your parents don't even love you! (full quote)
44862 Blade, Lasor...... Lasor (full quote)
44862 Dude she's gotta be a lesbian (full quote)
44862 1. Were still missing two people teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate. 2. Who's Steve the pirate? 1. The only guy on our team who acts like a pirate. 2. Oh... THere is a guy on are team who acts like a pirate. (full quote)
44862 He's balles he doesn't have and balls (full quote)
44862 F-IN-AYE Cotton, F-IN-AYE (full quote)
44862 1. Ladies and gentelman, I thought I've seen it all but it appears that Peter La Fleur has blind folded himself. 2. Yeah he will not be able to see very well. (full quote)
44862 1. We should mate. 2. what? 1. Date we should date! 1. I'm sorry I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. (full quote)
DoOrDoNot You had me at blood and semen (full quote)
BONERTIME Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur. (full quote)
47139 You're going down like a sweet muffin! (full quote)
bigclaude Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. (full quote)
Bronzebird Cram it up your cram-hole LeFleur! (full quote)
tonityme Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! (full quote)
jmichel No one makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody! (full quote)
jmichel Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer/ employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing... in which case I have some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But, no, really, I have them. (full quote)