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Team America: World Police - 2004 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit! (full quote)
  SURPRISE COCK-FAG!!! (full quote)
42777 Alright, thats the tavern with the blue door. Act your way past those guards, and see what you can find out. (full quote)
42777 Kim Jong Il: You're not in the position to kill anyone, my red white and blue friend. Lisa: So your the bastard that's been planning 9/11 times a thousand! Kim Jong Il: Noo, you think so small! You see, I'm about to have an elaborate peace ceremony, and while all the world's most important people are distracted here, I am going to detonate the WMDs, which I have given to terrorists all around the globe...It will be 9/11 times TWO THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX! Chris: MY GOD...THATS...I don't even know what that is!? Kim Jong Il: (solemnly) NOBODY DOES! (full quote)
  I'm gonna cut off your balls and shove them up your ass, so that the ext time you shit, you shit all over your balls (full quote)
  Of course!...Dirka-dirkastan! (full quote)
  Guard: Dirka allah, Muhammed-jihad. Bawk allah, Muhammed-jihad. Bawk allah, Muhammed-jihad! La dirka-dirka, Muhammed-jihad!! Muhammed jihad!!!.....Gary: Bak, dirk-dirk allah. Dirka-dirka, Muhammed jihad. Hawka sherpa-sherpa la bak-allah. Guard: Ah! Dirka-dirka-dirka. (full quote)
  You had me at dicks fuclk assholes (full quote)
  1. Everyone has Aids! 2. Hey Terrorist, Terrorize This! (full quote)
44544 You've got balls. I like balls. (full quote)
44544 Mett Demen!(Matt Damon) (full quote)
44544 Ronery!(lonely) (full quote)
  the infidels killed my sheep, and if you don't like it. I'll put a jihad on you too! (full quote)
44682 1)A flying limo? Now ive seen everything. 2)Have you seen a man eat his own head? 1)no! 2)Then you haven't seen everything and nor have we. (full quote)
  Have you seen a man eat his own head? (full quote)
  Lisa: If you could promise you'll never die, I'd make love to you right now. Gary: I PROMISE I'LL NEVER DIE! (full quote)
  Kim Jong Il: You're breakin' my barls Hans Brigs! (full quote)
19580 freedom isn't free! No, there's a heafty, fuckin' fee! (full quote)
  Ronery! I'm so ronery! (full quote)
  Gary: LISA!!!!!!!!!!! Lady In Window: Get Out Of The Street You F**king Bum (full quote)
  spottswoode: Remember, there is no I in Team America Intelligence: [pause] Yes, there is. (full quote)
  Gary Johnston: Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to get in your car and let you put your finger inside me. Then if I go down on you I get a movie part. (full quote)
  Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo. spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock. (full quote)
  Kim Jong Ill: Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why can't more people be interrigent, like me. (full quote)
  Spotswood: Please Gary, Im not from Hollywood, Im not going to fuck your mouth and my time is very valuable. (full quote)
  Chris: I couldn't wait to see it. after the show I was asked if I wanted to go meet some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled. But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control. Rumpus Cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg. I tried to leave, but, Rumpleteazer held me down, and... I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees. Gary: Thats why you dont trust actors (full quote)
  Spotswood: Let me explain to you the kind of man Gary is. He's a man who knows that when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that cock right in his mouth. (full quote)
  Gary: I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too. (full quote)
  Can't you see how fucking busy I am Hans Brix?? (full quote)
  I am so ronery, so ronery, so ronery and sadry arone. I make up great prans, but nobody ristens, no one understands. No one takes me seriousryyyyy. And so I'm ronery. A little ronery. Poor rittle meeeee. (full quote)
  Gary: I may not know much in this crazy world, but I do know one thing...If you don't let us fuck this asshole, our dicks and pussies are going to be covered in shit. (full quote)
  Gary:This is a nice limo you have here. spotswood:Yes,yes it is, now suck my cock. (full quote)
  You do that again and I'll drill 2 holes in your dick, so when you go for a piss you piss in all directions!! Got IT!!! (full quote)
  1:My acting got my brother killed.I've had to live with that every day. 2:Gary, you can't blame yourself for what gorillas did.1:I think I can finally let it go because my acting saved the entire world. (full quote)
  Walmart Fuck yeah!!! (full quote)
  Walmart, Fuck Yeah!! (full quote)
ZD_Drummer90 Have you seen a man eat his own head? (full quote)
ZD_Drummer90 We're guards! (full quote)
jakuvharts Hey terrorist! Terrorize this! (full quote)
Turkish I love your balls! (full quote)
gilbertthedog Chris: Hey Actor! Let's get this straight. I don't trust you. (full quote)
gilbertthedog Joe: Cairo........That's in....Egypt! Spotswood: That's exactly right, Joe. (full quote)