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Meet the Fockers - 2004 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
10929 That's your father? (full quote)
  Yo soy tu papa. (full quote)
  When was the last time you gave your wife breakfast in bed?...when was the last time you gave your wife anything in bed?! (full quote)
  I'd like to Fockerize you. (full quote)
  Mom, I'm truly not comfortable having this conversation with you. I've been telling you that since I was eleven. (full quote)
  If your family circle joins my family circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain. (full quote)
  JACK: Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is? GREG: Love...friendship...just love..I think. JACK: His legacy. GREG: That too. (full quote)
  Conga you Fockers! (full quote)
  You were riding him like Seabiscuit! (full quote)
  Sorry Greg, the card only comes in one gender. (full quote)
  GREG: They don't call me Barry Poppins for nothing. JACK: ...Why would someone call you Barry Poppins? GREG: .....They wouldn't... (full quote)
  Ass...hooole (full quote)
22756 Oh honey you promised you wouldn't take the boob out in front of company. (full quote)
22756 (on the answering machine) BERNIE: Hello you have reached the Fockers, were not around, so leave us a message, goodbye.....Roz! How the hell do you shut this thing off? ROZ: I have no idea, just press a button. BERNIE: Alright I'm pretty sure its off. Honey! You want a chimichanga? ROZ: I thought they give you gas? BERNIE: A little bit but its worth it. ROZ: Worth it for you, but I'm the one that gets the fumes. BERNIE: But honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga! ROZ: So make a chimichan--*beep* (full quote)
22756 Greg, don't infantilize him, talk to him like an adult. (full quote)
22756 GREG: Oh yeah, I've heard about this baby signing stuff, this is like cutting edge... JACK: Well at his age, Greg, his mind is like a sponge. But when he reaches your age, for example, his mind will be far less capable of absorbing useful information. (full quote)
22756 GREG: whats the sign for sour milk, cuz this tastes a little funky. JACK: Thats because thats from Debbie's left breast, Greg. (full quote)
22756 As a courtesy to your fellow passengers, please remember that the onboard lavatory should be used for number 1 only. Should the need for number 2 arise, we'll stop at the nearest rest stop, gas station or heavily wooded area. (full quote)
22756 JACK: Wanna honk the horn? GREG: Um....sure. JACK:....only the captain gets to honk the horn. (full quote)
22756 JACK: I call it the Manary Gland. I had it made from an exact cast of Debbie's left bosom. GREG: Oh, yeah...OK. JACK: Its been so effective I've been thinking of having it patented. Would you like to touch it? GREG: ...Uh...I wouldn't. JACK: Oh come on, feel how soft it is. GREG: I can see how soft it is from here. JACK: No feel it Greg. GREG: Its very...it looks very... JACK: Just feel the breast Greg. Oh...watch the nipple. Just around here. The nipple is his. GREG: Oh...yeah, yeah. Its got a great lifelike...and a ...Or what I imagine Debbie's breast might- might actually feel like....not that I would know... (full quote)
22756 JACK: Its nothing to be ashamed of, breast feeding is perfectly natural. PAM: Dad thats not natural.....thats just...weird. (full quote)
22756 JACK: Dina! Wake up and make Greg a cappuccino! Shake a leg woman! GREG: Jesus Jack! You know I'm not that tired...really. JACK: Relax Greg. This cockpit's completely soundproofed. You should have seen the look on your face. GREG: Oh ok, ok..you got me, that was a good one. JACK: yes it was. yes. GREG: Funny... JACK: But you should never talk to a woman like that, you know that. Its disrespectful. GREG: Right. Of course...yeah. (full quote)
22756 JACK: Oh I didn't know they make 9th place ribbons. BERNIE: Oh, Jack, they got em all the way up to 10th place. (full quote)
22756 Can you believe I concieved him with one testicle?! No really, its true. I only have one because the other never dropped, its called an undescending testicle, its not uncommon. But look at him...Imagine what he woulda looked like if I had two! (full quote)
22756 Since there's a water scarcity on he island, we kind of abide by the If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down policy.......Oops, forgot my own rule. (full quote)
22756 BERNIE: You killed an innocent creature of the sky? GREG:...I dont...did I? I did...I dont..I might have clipped it...never really checked. (full quote)
22756 Mr. Jinx has had extensive aquatic training. He would have known exactly what to do in the event of a submersion. (full quote)
22756 BERNIE: Moses is perfectly trained. GREG: Dad, he humps everything that moves.... ROZ: Honey, he's just like his father... (full quote)
22756 GREG: I didn't have a monster crush... BERNIE: Oh its not true? Then I didnt catch you doin a little baziga to her passport photo when you where what, thirteen? (full quote)
22756 Have I ever said the words 'macho-wacho' to you in my life? (full quote)
22756 The heater conked out. Now matter how hard he tried, the mohel couldn't coax Greg's tiny little turtle from its shell. (full quote)
22756 ROZ: I think that baby might need a couple pulls on that knocker of yours, Jack. JACK: No, its OK, were Feberizing him. ROZ: You're what? JACK: The Ferber Method. You let him cry it out, this way he doesn't depend on coddling. ROZ: On the other hand, the Continuum concept shows that a baby benefits from constant physical contact. JACK:.....We use the Ferber method. BERNIE: ...We used the Focker method. We hugged and kissed that little prince like there was no tomorrow. We Fockerized him... (full quote)
22756 ROZ: Look at this, I married a teenager....at least you have the libido of a teenager. BERNIE: I gave her a little matinee today. (full quote)
22756 We'll get drunk, we'll take a piss in the lagoon. (full quote)
  You Fockerized him! (full quote)
  I don't like what I am see from these Fockers! (full quote)
  I don't like what I am see from these Fockers! (full quote)
  you know what it means when the cowboy hat is on the door now put it back on (full quote)
10929 Nurse, you're gonna have to deliver that baby yourself. (full quote)
10929 --It's a scam. That's how they make all their money. --That's true. You don't need it. (full quote)
  Greg: Okay, you don't have a patent on the circle, Jack. (full quote)
  We fockerize them. (full quote)
  FOCKER OUT!! (full quote)
  Bernie Focker: Hello, you've reached the Fockers. We're not around, so leave us a message. goodbye. Roz, how the hell do you shut this thing off? Roz Focker: I have no idea. Just press a button. Bernie Focker: All right, I'm pretty sure it's off. Honey, you want a chimichanga? Roz Focker: I thought they give you gas. Bernie Focker: A little bit, but it's worth it. Roz Focker: Yeah, worth it for you, but I'm the one that gets the fumes. Bernie Focker: Honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga! Roz Focker: So make a chimichang... (full quote)
  SNack pack for Little Jack (full quote)
  Remain calm, your son has merely been stunned by a less than lethal weapon. right now 50,000 volts of electricity are being passed through your skeletal tissue. your central nervous system has been incapacitated, you will remain motor vehicle functions momentarily (full quote)
10929 Well, in these uncertain times, Greg, I opted for a Kenlar-reinforced hull with two-inch thick plexiglas windows. (full quote)
10929 Don't worry, you're rental insurance should take care of it. (full quote)
10929 Keep her at 55, stay alert. (full quote)
10929 I can't have a chink in my chain. (full quote)
10929 I used to call him a young Jewish Marlon Brando. (full quote)
10929 Almost like a young, half-Hispanic Marlon brando. (full quote)
10929 This position is terrific for anyone with osteoporosis, gout, or goiter. (full quote)
10929 Oh, I didn't know they made ninth-place ribbons. (full quote)
10929 Jack, you have issues. (full quote)
10929 And skeletons don't like living in closets. (full quote)
10929 We have to get off this island. It's evil. (full quote)
10929 Says here you're retired. What'll you show me next, old-timer, your AARP card? (full quote)
10929 A regular Clarance Darrow. (full quote)
10929 --Can't you be Sam, the carpet-cleaning man? --It's illogical. Why would a carpet-cleaner have whip-cream? (full quote)
10929 --You think you can take me, Flowerman? --I'm pretty sure I can, Mr. Mom. (full quote)
10929 They don't call me Barry Poppins for nothing. (full quote)
10929 No monkey business. (full quote)
10929 We're going to get married. (full quote)