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Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again - 2004 Movie Quotes

Posted ByQuote
43762 I'm a Dorkfish! (full quote)
43762 I believe...It's impossible to baptize cats. (full quote)
43762 I believe...If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And then you should find someone who's life has given them Vodka, and have a party. (full quote)
43762 1. How OLD are you? 2. Old enough to know how to play this(indicates guitar). (full quote)
43762 And that is the only time I have ever pushed a woman out of a tree. (full quote)
43762 I get out of the shower and there's 4 little girls sitting in the bathroom going(cranes neck). I said what are you doing? And one of 'em goes,'we're trying to see a who-who!' And I said let me tell you something, who-who's are poisonous. And my youngest one who's real funny goes, 'nuh-uh! If that were true the dog would be dead!' I hate smart kids. (full quote)
43762 I knock over 10 people in the lobby of a very nice hotel thinking maybe my in-laws... (full quote)
43762 1. Just like you ***, I have a genuine problem and you're being sar-cas-tic. 2. Alright, I'm sorry honey, put the dog on the phone I'll talk to him. (full quote)
43762 I believe...I need a scotch. Oh wait, I already got one. (full quote)
43762 What do you me to do? I'm in GEORGIA! I can't pick up the turd! Put a paper towel over it, I'll be home in a week. (full quote)
43762 Let him outside, he'll crap out there. I've seen him do it. *smiles* (full quote)
43762 Gonna be a good day Tater. He calls me Tater. (full quote)
43762 I believe...Guns don't kill people. Husbands who come home early do. (full quote)
  men have 3 basic needs in life thats it..eating,sleeping,sex. thats it. thats our whole day. and i can do all 3 of those in my trafic. (full quote)
  bill--thats a 60 foot animal and were in a 6 foot rubber boot...were a bath toy.bills wife--but i wunna go see them. bill--were not gunna go see them. bills wife-- I WUNNA GO SEE THEM!! bill-- well ok. (full quote)
  let me set the scene for u, i got on camoflauge pants, camoflauge shirt, camoflauge hat,i got camoflauge paint on my face. she is in a yellow joggin suit, white tennis shoes, and she brought her purse. im here to kill a deer, shes here to take it shoppin! (full quote)
  its quiet ...kinda. cuz in the darkness of our deerstand im hearin things like this, *sigh*. bills wife whispering-- bill, what are we doing? bill whispering--were um were waitin for the deer to show up ok honey shhh you gotta be really quiet. *sigh*bills wife whispering-- what time do they show up? bill--i um i dunno. they didnt return the phone call to set up the meeting!! now please be quiet! wife whispering--bill, ive gotta pee. bill--now? theres a coffee cup. wife-- o wake up! The sun has come up and in the clearing stands a buck 10 points good 250. and im like oh! thatnk you god! *pointin gun* you are on the wall. and this is what i hear...AWW! aint he cute!! he looks like bambis dad! remember we saw that movie with the kids?! bill--yes i member that movie it was a cartoon now shut up.wife-- well your not gunna shoot him are you?? bill-- what do you think i brought this gun! like that deer might run up this tree and rob us??!! she freaks she goes, RUN DEER RUN!!! and that is the only time ive ever pushed a woman out of a tree! (full quote)
  I used to be a lifeguard till some blue kid got me fired! -Larry the Cable Guy (full quote)
  If I had known the diference between antidote and anecdote my friend would still be alive. He's sitting there bleeding and I'm tellin him funny stories,'It ain't workin!' 'Read 'em faster!' (full quote)