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Producers, The - 2005 Movie Quotes

Posted ByQuote
10929 I wanna be a producer. (full quote)
10929 God bless Sweden! (full quote)
10929 Broadway! I haven't been so happy since we crushed Poland! (full quote)
10929 Dishonor ze spirit und ze memory of Adolph Elizabeth Hitler. (full quote)
10929 --Who are you? --I am Leopold Bloom. I'm an accountant. I'm from Whitehall and Marks, and I have come here to do your books. (full quote)
10929 --I made it out like you told me. To the title of the play, 'Cash.' --Yes. --It's a funny name for a play, 'Cash.' (full quote)
10929 And ever since I've a secret desire to be a Broadway producer. (full quote)
10929 When you got it, flaunt it! (full quote)
10929 I'm hysterical and I'm wet. (full quote)
10929 But under the right circumstances a producer could make more money with a flop than he could with a hit. (full quote)
10929 Well, it's simply a matter of creative accounting. (full quote)
10929 So in order for our scheme to work, we'd have to find a surefire flop. (full quote)
10929 I merely posed a little academic accounting theory. (full quote)
10929 You've mistaken me for someone with a spine. (full quote)
10929 Don't you realize there's a lot more to you than there is to you? (full quote)
10929 This is an accounting firm, not a country club. (full quote)
10929 Sort of a Nazi hoedown. (full quote)
10929 Springtime for Hitler. (full quote)
10929 Bialystock and Bloom. (full quote)
10929 How could this happen? We picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did we go right? (full quote)
10929 Maybe I'll get a good job in the prison library. (full quote)
10929 what are you doing, you neo-Nazi nitwit? (full quote)
10929 This crazy kraut is crackers! He crashed in here and crassly tried to kill us! (full quote)
10929 --You made a fool out of Hitler! --He didn't need our help! (full quote)
10929 I was never a member of the Nazi party! (full quote)
10929 No one every called me Leo before. (full quote)
10929 Gotta sing sing! (full quote)
10929 We open at Leavenworth on Saturday night! (full quote)
  Stop the world! I wanna get on! (full quote)
  And you were right about one thing. You are a CPA. A certified public ASSHOLE! (full quote)
  If I could bottle you, I would shove you under my armpits every day. (full quote)
  Then why don't you go and get it oh wicked witch of the west-a. (full quote)
  Max:(To statue) This man should be in a straight jacket! (Smiles at Leo) (full quote)
22756 OLD LADY: But first can we please play a game? One dirty little game? MAX: All right my little sex kitten. What shall we play? The Debutante and the Bricklayer? OLD LADY: Oh no. MAX: How about the Rabbi and the Contortionist? You like that one Mama, keeps you limber. OLD LADY: I know, let's play the Virgin Milkmaid and the Well-Hung Stable Boy. (full quote)
22756 MAX: Ah, did you bring the checkie my little turtledove? OLD LADY: Yes, but first Bialy can we please play one dirty little game? MAX: Here in broad daylight? OLD LADY: It'll just be a quickie. MAX: Ok, what what? OLD LADY: Let's play the distracted tourist and the ever-watchful orangutan. MAX: Oy, are you trying to kill me? Please, I'm exhausted. Let's play one game where there's absolutely no sex. OLD LADY: What?! MAX: How about the Jewish princess, and her husband? (full quote)
22756 LEO BLOOM: Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold everything, hold everything! What am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right, there is a lot more to me than there is to me. Stop the world! I wanna get on! MR. MARKS: What the hell is going on in here? Do I smell the revolting stench of self-esteem? Bloom! Where do you think you're going? You already had your toilet break. LEO BLOOM: I'm not going into the toilet....I'm going into show business! And Mr. Marks, I have news for you...I QUIT!!! And you were right about one thing, you are a CPA...A certified public ASSHOLE! Here's my visor, my Dixon Ticonderoga number 2 pencil, and my big finish! (full quote)
22756 LEO: Max, oh Max, let's give up, I can't ready anymore. How many plays can a person read? MAX: Stop complaining, we have to find the worst play ever written. LEO: I've been reading all night! MAX:Who cares? You wanna be a producer, read read keep reading. ..Here's one...Act 1, scene 1. "Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to discover that he had been transformed into a giant cockroach.".....nah, too good. LEO: "But how could you see me? The glass was frosted..." Wait a minute, wait a minute, I've read this before...I think I've read this one...What's it called, what's it called?....The Frosted Glass. Max, I'm reading plays that I've read last night, Max, I can't go on anymore, it's too much, let's face it we'll never find it. MAX: We'll never find it?! We'll never find it huh!!? Leo, Leo, see it, smell it, touch it, kiss it. Kiss it! It's the motherload. LEO What is it? You found a flop? MAX: A flop? that's putting it mildly. This is a disaster. A catastrophe. Certain to offend peoples of all races, creeds, and religions. A guaranteed-to-close-in-one-night beauty. LEO Well, let's see it. "Springtime for Hitler. A gay romp with Eva and Adolf at Berchtesgaden." (full quote)
22756 Hello, the living room of renowned theatrical director Roger DeBris' elegant upper-east side town house on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in June. Who may I say is calling? .....Listen to broken down old queen. He was drunk, he was hot, you got lucky. Don't ever call here again! (full quote)
22756 LEO: what time can you be here in the morning? ULLA: Well, Ulla wake up every morning 5 am. From 5 to 7, Ulla like to exercise. From 7 to 8, Ulla like to take long shower. From 8 to 9, Ulla like to have big Swedish breakfast, many different herrings. From 9 to 11 Ulla like to practice her singing and her dancing. And at 11, Ulla like to have sex. what time should I get here? LEO & MAX: Eleven..... (full quote)
22756 ULLA: Okey like it? MAX: Like it? I want you to know, my dear, that even though we're sitting down, we're giving you a standing ovation. (full quote)
22756 FRANZ: You not not many people know this but the Fuhrer was a terrific dancer. MAX: Really, gee, we didn't know that did we Leo? MAX: No, we sure didn't. FRANZ: That is because you were taken in by the BBC! Filthy British lies! But did they ever say a bad word about Winston Churchill? Churchill!! Yyaaahh! With his cigars, with his brandy, and his rotten paintings. Rotten!! Hitler...there was a painter. He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon. Two coats. (full quote)
22756 I am Carmen Ghia, Mr DeBris' common-law assistant. You are expected. May I take your hat, your coat and you swastikas? (full quote)
22756 CARMEN: Well, as far as I'm concerned, without your wig on your only half-dressed. ROGER: Well then, why don't you go and get it...oh, Wicked Witch of the Wessssst. CARMEN: If your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart..............Bulls-eye!! (full quote)
22756 We must have some order here! Will all the dancing Hitlers please wait offstage right...and all the singing Hitlers offstage left! (full quote)
22756 Halt!! No no no!!! This man could never play Adolf Hitler. The Fuhrer wasn't a mousy little mama's boy, the Fuhrer was butch!!! (full quote)
22756 Darling, quick! back in the closet! (full quote)
22756 Echh! You sniveling cowards! Cringing under a desk! Clinging to life like baby butterflies! Franz Liebkind will show you how to die like a man! (full quote)
22756 POLICE OFFICER: What's going on here? ROGER: This crazy kraut is crackers! He crashed in here and crassly tried to kill us! CARMEN: Oh Roger, what alliteration! ROGER: Thank you, darling. (full quote)
helz89 halt! halt! no no no. this man could never play adolf hitler. the fuhrer wasn't a mousy little momma's boy, the fuhrer was butch! (full quote)
helz89 keep it gay (full quote)