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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - 2006 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  Shake AAAANNNNDDDD Bake (full quote)
  Im gonna come at you like a spider monkey! (full quote)
  Ya, its like a tractor beam of hottness (full quote)
  -Why do you want to have the stereo and the TV on at the same time? -Uhh, cuz i like to party (full quote)
  if you dont chew big red, then fuck you! (full quote)
45511 I wake up and I piss excellence. (full quote)
45511 I'm just a big, hairy American winning machine. (full quote)
45511 We have it for profiling reasons. We also have Pet Shop Boys and Seal. (full quote)
45511 I can't understand a one word you're saying. Do you have peanut butter in your mouth? (full quote)
45511 If you're not first, you're last. (full quote)
45511 1) Hey son, you got big. what's it been? 3 months? 2) 10 years. 1) 10 years? I got to lay of the peyote. (full quote)
45511 Dear 8 lb 6 oz baby Jesus... (full quote)
45511 Dad you made that grace your bitch. (full quote)
  I like to picture my Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt, cuz it says, Hey I'm formal, but I like to party. I like my Jesus to party. (full quote)
  Are we about to get it on? Cuz im as hard as a diamond in an ice storm. (full quote)
  Ricky Bobby: You can't have two number one's! Friend: You're right, that makes 11. (full quote)
  I'm all hopped up on mountain Dew. (full quote)
  This sticker is inconvenient and dangerous but I sure do like Fig Newtons. (full quote)
  Girard: Hakuna Matata, bitches! (full quote)
  Ricky: I've already sent in my tape to The Real World. I'm putting a lot of my eggs into The Real World basket. I'm also thinking of getting a gun, and start selling crack. Become a crack dealer. Not a mean one, but.. you know... like a nice one. I'd be all 'Hey guys... what's up?... want some crack?' (full quote)
47736 Shutup you Potlicker before I throw you into the Microwave (full quote)
  she's a tractor beam of hotness (full quote)
  Ricky: To quote the late, great Colonel Sanders... 'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken'. (full quote)
  Reese: There's nothing like fear that will make a man avoid prison, so I taped a bag of cocain under the hood of the car and called the boys in blue. Now the way I see it, you got about two minutes before you're serving 5 to 10. So what's it gonna be: Jail or prison? Ricky: What are you talking about?! Reese: Real simple son! Cops are comin', and there's a kilo of Columbian bamm bamm underneath the car! Time to be a man! You got hair on your peaches or what? Let's go! (full quote)
  I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger. (full quote)
  Dear Lord baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as wse call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox. (full quote)
  Ricky Bobby: From now on, it's Magic Man and El Diablo. Cal Naughton, Jr.: what does El Diablo mean? Ricky Bobby: It's like Mexican for a fighting chicken. (full quote)
  Ricky Bobby: The room's startin' to spin... 'cause of the gayness... (full quote)
  Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life. (full quote)
  Ricky Bobby: Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable. Jean Girard: It's a sign of affection in many countries. Ricky Bobby: Well not here. Jean Girard: It is not sexual in any way, please ignore the fact that I have an erection. (full quote)
  If we wanted to sissy boys, we would've named them Doctor Quinn and medicine Woman (full quote)
36223 If we wanted a couple of sissy boys we would've named them Dr. Quinn and medicine Wpman (full quote)
  Ricky: Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Tom Cruise...use your witchcraft to get the invisible fire off me! (full quote)
47868 If you don't like Big Red, F*** You! (full quote)
47868 I wake up in the morning and piss excellence. (full quote)
47868 I wanna go fast! (full quote)
47868 Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! (full quote)
45511 I'm a little confused with your tactics. So I'm gonna continue acting tough. (full quote)
  Jean Girard: God needs the Devil. The Beatles needed The Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric? (full quote)
  Please dont let the invisible fire kill my friend. (full quote)
  Ricky Bobby: (after he wins the race, to Jean Girard) I will not shake your hand, but I will give you this: (he kisses Jean Girard) (full quote)
  My teacher asked me what the capital of north Carolina was....and i told her Washington D.C....And she told me i was wrong....so i said you have a lumpy ass, and than she yelled at me....and i pissed my pants..... (full quote)
  Greatest Generation, my ass... Tom Brokaw was a punk! (full quote)
  shhhhake and bake. now that just happened!! now does your friendhave elpilepsy or something? (full quote)
  Ricky Bobby: (after Susan yells out that he will win) Wow, I never heard you talk like that before! (full quote)
  Reese Bobby: If you ain't first, you're last. (full quote)
  Rickey: Wow! I feel like I'm in Highlander. Jean: What is the Highlander? Rickey: It's a movie. Jean: Any good? Rickey: Very good. It won an Academy Award. Jean: Oh for what? Rickey: The best movie EVER made. (full quote)
  Rickey: With all do respect sir, I did'nt know that you had your balls removed and donated to science. Dennit: Wha- excuse me?! Rickey: What?! I said with all do respect! Dennit: Yes but that doesn't mean you can still say it! Rickey: Sure as heck does! (full quote)
  Rickey: Cal! Do you realize the implications of your actions right now?! Cal: Wus' implications mean? (full quote)
  Chip, I'm gonna scissor kick you in the back of the head! (full quote)
  Chip:Are you gonna let them talk to me like that? I'm their elder! Ricky Bobby:Yeah Chip, I love the way they're talkin to you. Cuz they're winners. And winners get to do what they want. Hell, you're just a bag of bones. The only thing you ever done with your life is make a hot daughter. And that's it. That's it. That is it! (full quote)
  8 lb. 6 oz. newborn infant jesus (full quote)
  First Ya Shake, and then ya bake it! (full quote)
  lynyrd skynyrd
(full quote)
  Cal: I like to picture Jesus with giant eagles wings and singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd and i'm in the front row and i'm hammered drunk (full quote)
  I like to think of Jesus as having huge angel wings, and singin the lead lyrics to Lynyrd Skynard, and I'm in the front row hammered drunk! (full quote)
  I'm all jacked up on Mt. Dew (full quote)
40399 You made that grace your bitch! (full quote)
40905 Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable. (full quote)
40905 1.What has America given the world? 2.That's an easy one. Chinese food, for starters 1.That is from China.
2.Pizza? 1.Italy. 2.Burritos? 1.Mexico.
(full quote)
45511 It's in the Geneva Convention. (full quote)
45511 With all due respect. I was unaware you had an experimental surgery to have your balls removed. (full quote)
45511 Slingshot: engaged. (full quote)
45511 Well if it isn't my old friend, Mike Hancho. (full quote)
47868 Grandma, not my prison shank! (full quote)
47868 First you shake it, then you bake it. (full quote)
48604 I wont shake your hand, but I will give you this! (kiss) (full quote)
AshyChady Ricky: [extending middle finger] Losing is never fun, but here's a little something to keep your spirits up. It's real nice, I got it at Target. It was on sale. (full quote)
tmm1285 I'm all jacked up on mountain Dew! (full quote)
bwatt113 If you dont chew Big Red, then fuck you. (full quote)
Jade1234 Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! (full quote)