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Idiocracy - 2006 Movie Quotes

Posted ByQuote
  My ex-wife was tarded. She's a pilot now. (full quote)
SvenFerburgerson Dr. Lexus: Don't worry, Scro; now there are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife...was 'tarded. She's a pilot now. (full quote)
SvenFerburgerson Dr. Lexus: There's that fag talk we talked about. (full quote)
SvenFerburgerson Dr. Lexus: Where's your tatoo? Why come you don't have a tatoo? (full quote)
SvenFerburgerson Dr. Lexus: Right....kick-ass...well, 'don't wanna sound like a dick or nothin', but a, it says on your chart you're fucked up...ah, you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded. (full quote)
SvenFerburgerson But Brawndo's got what plants crave. It's got electrolites. (full quote)
Liz_Lemon Welcome to costco. I love you. (full quote)
tommyrgd Go away, batin! (full quote)
tommyrgd Today I step into the shoes of a great man; and that man's name is Dwayne Alozondo mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. (full quote)
tommyrgd your chart here says that you're fucked up. You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded. No, don't worry Scro', there's plenty of 'tards livin' kick-ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded, she's a pilot now. (full quote)
tommyrgd And there was a time in this country when reading wasn't just for fags, and writing too. People wrote books and movies. Movies with stories, so, you cared who's ass it was and why it was farting and I believe that time can come again! (full quote)
tommyrgd Joe:Wow, I could really go for a Starbucks. Frito:We really don't have time for a handjob, Joe. (full quote)
tommyrgd Joe:So, you're a painter, thats great, what do you paint? Rita:I don't know, like people and fruit and shit. (full quote)
tommyrgd Joe:Are we on base? Frito:I'll base your face with my fist...face...ass! (full quote)
tommyrgd Joe:I need you to take me to the time machine. Frito:I supersize with you and all, but didn't you just go to jail for not having any money? (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)I'm the Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr. (2)Why do you keep saying that? (1)Cuz they pay me every time I do, it's a really good way to make money, if you're so smart, why don't you know that. (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)So you smart, huh? (2)ah, no(shrugging)(1)I thought your head would be bigger...god damn, it look like a peanut...haha...let's getcha sworn iiiiin! (full quote)
tommyrgd (Speech)Shut up...sit your monkey ass down...Shit. I know shit's bad right now. With all that starvin bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin out of french fries and burrito covers. But I got a solution. Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now, but listen up. I got a three point plan to fix everything. Nuber one, we got this guy Not Sure. Number two, he's got a higher IQ than any man alive! And nuber three, he's gonna fix everything! I give you my word as President. He's gonna fix the ploblems with all the dead crops, he's gonna make em' groooow again! And that ain't all, (singing)I give you my wooord, he's gonna fix the dust storms tooo, ha! I give you my wooord, he's gonna fiiiiix, the ecomony, ha. And he's soooo smaaaart, ha, he's gonna do it aaaall in one week, ha. (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)Come on Scro'. Don't be a pussy. Beats jail don't it? Besides, you do a kick-ass job, you get a full presidential pardon. No jail time (2)Yeah? (1)FUCK YEAH! Now get me a beer...and get you one too...haha...shit!! Hold on Vato!! (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)I just need ya to tell me how to get to the time machine. (2)Oh, thats easy. Well, you go down by the museum and stuff, it's like, it's like, by the museum, sort of but, well actually not really, more like, on the street, you go, um, wait, let me start over. Ok, you know where the time machine is? (1)Hey, just deaw me a map, ok? (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)Now look, I also need help finding this girl named Rita, like immediately, and ah, Frito will give you a hand with it. (2)Why? (1)Well because ah, you know, she'd be an essential, intergral, asset, you know, for our team, for us to, you know...utilize. (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)what are we gonna do about the nuclear reactor in Florida, it's like broken or leaking or something. (2)I thought it was in Georgia? (1)Georgia is in Florida, dumbass. (3)Hey, I know...we could put toilet water on it. (full quote)
tommyrgd They're watering crops with a sports drink? (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)So, wait a minute, what you're saying is you want us to put water on the crops. (2)Yes. (1)Water, like out the toilet? (2)Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be out of the toilet, but yeah, thats the idea. (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)Well, I've never seen no plants grow out of no toilet. (2)Hey, thats good, you sure you ain't the smartest guy in the world? (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)Why don't we just try it, ok, and not worry about what plants crave. (2)Brawdo's got what plants crave. (3)Yeah, it's got electrolytes. (1)What are electrolytes? Do you even know? (4)It's what they use to make Brawndo! (1)Yeah but, why do they use them to make Brawndo? (5) Because Brawndo's got electrolytes. (full quote)
tommyrgd (1)It's a weird feeling being smarter than everyone. I'm not used to it. (2)Yeah, me neither. Do you think Einstein walked around thinking everyone was a bunch of dumbshits? (1)Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. (2)Now you know why he built that bomb. (1)Yeah. (full quote)
tommyrgd News Reporter: He tried taking water from toilets but it's Secretary Not Sure who finds himself in the toilet now and as history pulls down it's pants and prepares to lower it's ass on Not Sure's head, it will be Daddy Justice who will be crapping on him this time. (full quote)
tommyrgd Formica Davis(Reporter): Thank you Velveeta, well, it started off boring and slow with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk. "Blah, blah, blah, you gotta believe meee!" That part of the trial sucked! But then the Cheif J just went off, he said, "Man whatever, the guys guilty as shit, we all know that.", and he sentenced his ass to one night of rehabilitation. (full quote)
tommyrgd Announcer: Ok, we're gonna do this shit, but first, to lead us in our natural anthem, the star of, "Ow, My Balls!", Hormel Chavez!! (full quote)
10929 Welcome to AOL Time Warner Taco Bell US Government Long Distance. (full quote)