| Posted By | Quote |
| iratner |
i'll be there to rear your child
You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your button falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't even accept that? I don't think I can accept pure love.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy! So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
what the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderama.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy! So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.
(full quote)
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| 10rmdoka |
your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
(full quote)
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| koreangal4ya4 |
You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth
(full quote)
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| koreangal4ya4 |
This is good... this is healthy. I think we're bonding
(full quote)
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| koreangal4ya4 |
Hey Ben!! Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out!!
(full quote)
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| koreangal4ya4 |
Well then I'll get you constructive vagina surgery.
Oh you can't even afford spaghetti!
(full quote)
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| lezzy6 |
Now THAT is how you get Pink-Eye!
(full quote)
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| cyphersounds |
its not herpes if its everywhere
(full quote)
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| lindsboo |
you look like babe ruth's gay brother... gabe ruth
(full quote)
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| lindsboo |
i know we're supposed to be nice to one another but i'm having a really hard time, i'm struggling with it right now... i wanna rip your fucking head off 'cause you're so fucking stupid... god you're an asshole
(full quote)
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| chaparrita1121 |
I can´t be preagnant, you need to have sex to be preagnant
(full quote)
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| ChrissyXcrunk |
I wanna throw you in my Delorean and gun it to '88.
(full quote)
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| ChrissyXcrunk |
Fu** me in the beard!
(full quote)
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| ChrissyXcrunk |
I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles.
(full quote)
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| ChrissyXcrunk |
Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool.
(full quote)
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