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Monty Python and the Holy Grail - 1975 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
3296 1) WE already got one, you see. 2)Are you sure? 1)Oh yes, it's very nice (full quote)
892 Run away run away!!!! (full quote)
892 I'll bite your legs off! (full quote)
892 I fart in your general direction (full quote)
892 Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time! (full quote)
4152 On second thought, let's not go to Camelot, 'tis a silly place. (full quote)
4152 You're using coconuts! You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together! (full quote)
4152 I feel happy! I feel happy! (full quote)
4152 what are you gonna do? Bleed on me? (full quote)
4152 Bevedere- Why do you think she is a witch? Villiger- Oh, she turned me into a newt! B- A newt? V-.... I got better. (full quote)
4252 what's 'e going to do? Nibble yer bum? (full quote)
evilroy your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. (full quote)
evilroy Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?! (full quote)
evilroy You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with . . .a herring. (full quote)
4301 She turned me into a newt...well I got better (full quote)
  what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? (full quote)
3225 1) I'm invincible 2) You're a looney! (full quote)
3225 THERE ARE THOSE WHO call ME...Tim (full quote)
3225 Our life must seem very dull to a brave knight like yourself...bathing, dressing, undressing, knitting exciting underwear (full quote)
3225 When danger reared it's ugly head he bravely turned his tail and fled (full quote)
4451 HE must be a king. Why? He ain't got shit all over him. (full quote)
4530 what is your favorite color? (full quote)
4539 We are the keepers of the sacred words Ni, Peng and Noo Wong. (full quote)
4539 But mother...FATHER! But father... (full quote)
4539 I'd rather just sing (full quote)
4539 I'm 27. I'm not old. (full quote)
4539 ...just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! (full quote)
4539 Come and see the violence inherent in the system! (full quote)
4539 Bloody peasant! (full quote)
4539 ...carved in mystic rune in the very living rock... (full quote)
4656 Since we are no longer the knights who say NI! You shall bring me another shrubery. (Quietly)You shall brace it upon the other one to give it a two level effect with a liitle pathway going down the middle. (full quote)
4849 It could be carried by an african swallow. Oh yeah, an african swallow maybe, but not a european swallow thats my point. Oh yeah, i agree with that. (full quote)
4849 So, if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood. And therefore.........A witch!!! (full quote)
4849 There are some who call me.....Tim. (full quote)
4849 This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevier. Explain to me again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. (full quote)
4538 Just a flesh wound. (full quote)
Wizard 1)what are you then? 2)I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent you silly king? (full quote)
Wizard Yoi don't frighten us, english pig-dog! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. I blow my nose on you! (full quote)
Wizard Pie jesu domine, dona eis requiem. (full quote)
Wizard Bring out your dead! (full quote)
  Those who wish to cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, and the other side he see! (full quote)
5172 (1) So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through- (2) where'd you get the coconuts? (full quote)
5172 Galahad: They're doctores?! Zoot: Uh, they have a basic medical training, yes. Galahad: B--but-- Zoot: Oh, come, come. You must try to rest. Doctor Piglet! Doctor Winston! Practice your art. (full quote)
5172 Oh, anyway. On to scene twenty-four, which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Arthur discovers a vital clue, and in which there aren't any swallows, although I think you can hear a starling-- oooh! (full quote)
5172 FATHER:One day, lad, all this will be yours! PRINCE HERBERT: what, the curtains? FATHER: No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad. (full quote)
5172 Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands. (full quote)
5172 LAUNCELOT: Brave, brave concorde, you shall not have died in vain! concordE: Uh, I'm-- I'm not quite dead, sir. LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain! concordE: I-- I-- I think I c-- I could pull through, sir. (full quote)
5172 We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'. (full quote)
Orlikidnapper Whoa! Halt! Who goes there?! (full quote)
Orlikidnapper This is my trusty servant Patsy. (full quote)
Orlikidnapper where'd you get the coconuts? (full quote)
Orlikidnapper You'll be stone dead in a moment. (full quote)
Orlikidnapper We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. (full quote)
Orlikidnapper The lady of the lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by Divine Providence, that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. (full quote)
Orlikidnapper None shall pass. (full quote)
Orlikidnapper The Black Knight always triumphs. (full quote)
Orlikidnapper (singing) We're knights of the round table, we dance and we're able, we routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable, we dine well in Camalot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. We're knights of the round table, our shows are formidable, but many times we're given rhymes that are quite unsingable, We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. In war we're tough and able, quite indefatigable, between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable, it's a busy life in Camelot, I have to push the pram a lot... (full quote)
Orlikidnapper This is the castle of my master, Guy di Loimbard. (full quote)
  Therefore we must give u a test! Firstly, you must find another shrubbery. Then, when you have found the shrubbery.. you must brace it here beside this shrubbery (only slightly higher so you get the two level effect with a little path running down the middle) ... Then when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with.......... a herring! (full quote)
  (1) 'Tis but a scratch. (2) A scratch?! Your arm's off. (1) No it isn't. (2) Well what's that then? ::pause:: (1) I've had worse. (2) You liar. (1) Come on, ya panzy! (full quote)
4297 your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. (full quote)
4297 Maybe he'll get SO cross that he will make a mistake! (full quote)
  YOU MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND your FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES! (full quote)
  Man: I am Your King! Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you. Man: You don't vote for kings. Woman: Well, how'd you become king then? (full quote)
  I told him we already got one. (full quote)
  OF COURSE ITS A good IDEA!!! (full quote)
5172 In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. (full quote)
5172 That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on. (full quote)
5172 Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. (full quote)
  Bravely bold Sir Robin strode forth from Camelot He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin! He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken! To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away And his limbs all hacked and mangled brave Sir Robin... His head smashed in and his heart cut out and his liver removed and his bowels unplugged and his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and his pen... Ah, that's enough music for now lads! (full quote)
5921 WE are the knights who say.........NI NI...ni (full quote)
  Now, let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. (full quote)
5983 1) Someday, lad, all this will be yours. 2) what, the curtains? (full quote)
5971 Bring out the Holy Handgrenade! (full quote)
6216 I'm being repressed,I'm being repressed!! (full quote)
6275 King Arthur: Shut-up Peasant: Oh come and see the violence inheretied in the system help,help I'm being repressed King Arthur: Booldy Peasant Peasant: Oh what a give away,did you hear that did you hear that ahh thats what i'm all about. Did you see him repressing me, you saw it (full quote)
6488 Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here! (full quote)
6488 We are the keepers of the three sacred words, neigh, ping and neeeeewomb. (full quote)
6488 We are no longer the knights who say neigh, we are now the knights who say ecky-ecky-ecky-bitang-zoombaaaa. (full quote)
6488 1. Fetche la vache. 2. Eh? 3. Fetch la vache! (full quote)
6488 Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say 'ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history. (full quote)
6488 You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared! (full quote)
6488 1. We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril. 2. I don't think I was. 1. Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril. 2. Look, let me go back in there and face the peril. 1. No, it's too perilous. 2. Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can. 1. No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on! 2. Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril? 1. No. It's unhealthy. 1. I bet you're gay. 2. No, I'm not. (full quote)
6488 1. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! help! help! I'm being repressed! 2. Bloody peasant! 1. Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you? (full quote)
3225 1) Now Lancelot, Gallahad and I wait until nightfall, leap out of the large wooden rabbit and take the French completely by surprise. 2) Who leaps out? 1) Lancelot, Gallahad and I...we...jump out of the rabbit, well suppose we build this large wooden badger... (full quote)
3225 1)make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him 2) Not to leave the room even if you come and get him 1) No, no, UNTIL I come and get him 3) Hiccup 2) Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room 1) No, you stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave 2) And you'll come and get him 3) Hiccup 1) Right 2) Oh, if um, if, if, um if we..if...oh...1) Look it is very simple you stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave. 2) Oh now I remember, can he leave the room with us? 1) No just keep him in here 2) Oh yes, we'll keep him in here obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him 1) No just keep him in here 2) Until you or anyone else 1) No not anyone else just me 2) Just you 3) Hiccup 1) Get back 2) Get back, all right we'll stay here until you get back 1) And make sure he doesn't leave 2) What? 3) Hiccup 1) make sure he doesn't leave 2) The prince? 1) Yes make sure he doesn't leave 2) Oh yes of course, I thought you meant him, you know it seemed a bit daft for me to guard him when he's a guard. 3) Hiccup 1) Is that clear now? 2) Oh quite clear no problems 1) Where are you going? 2) We're coming with you 1) No I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn't leave 2) Oh I see right [music builds] 1) AND NO SINGING 3) Hiccup 1) Oh go get a glass of water. (full quote)
7133 I don't want to go on the cart. (full quote)
  SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu-- MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother. SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.' MAYNARD: Amen. (full quote)
  I fart in your general direction! (full quote)
7347 1-What do you do with witches? 2-Burn! Burn, burn them up! 1-And what do you burn apart from witches? 2-more witches! 3-Wood! 1-So, why do witches burn? [pause] 2-B--... 'cause they're made of wood...? 1-Good! (full quote)
7347 1-One day lad, all this will be yours. 2-what, the curtains? 1No, not the curtains lad! (full quote)
  what? Behind the rabbit? (full quote)
  King: One! Two! Five! Knight: Three, sir. King: Three! (full quote)
  Who gets out of the rabbit? (full quote)
  Knight: How do you know so much about swallows? King: Well, you have to know these things when you're king, you know... (full quote)
  Alright. We'll call it a draw. (full quote)
  Tell me again how sheep's bladders can be used to prevent earthquakes. (full quote)
  Three Headed Giant: You're a knight of the Round Table? Knight: Yes. Three Headed Giant: Then I shall have to kill you. (full quote)
  Sir Not Appearing in this Film. (full quote)
  just because some watery tart threw a sword at you, doesn't give you the right to be king. (full quote)
8199 Bring out your dead! (full quote)
3419 God:Arthur! Arthur,king of the Britains! (Arthur and his knights kneel down.) Oh don't grovel! One thing I can't stand is people groveling! Arthur:Sorry! God:And don't apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'Sorry this' and 'Forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'! (full quote)
  Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound! King Arthur: A flesh wound?! You've got no arms! (full quote)
  One, Two, Five! No, three sir! Three! (full quote)
3419 You stupid bastard,you've got no arms left! (full quote)
3419 And after the spanking,the oral sex! (full quote)
3419 We shall say 'Ni' again to you if you do not appease us. (full quote)
3419 You fight with the strength of many men, sir knight! (silence) I am Arthur, King of the Britains! (silence) I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court of Camelot. (silence) You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? (silence) You make me sad. So be it. Come Patsy! (full quote)
8809 The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's Knights, but other illustrious name were soon to follow: Sir Launcelot the Brave, Sir Gallahad, the Pure, and Sir Robin the not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill, and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries: the Knights of the Round Table. (full quote)
3419 Oh shut up and go change your armor! (full quote)
9009 It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a simple question of weight ratios. A five ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut! (full quote)
  Build a bridge out of her! (full quote)
9150 you gotta know these things when you're a king you know (full quote)
9150 i bet you're gay (full quote)
3419 Now go away or else I shall taunt you a second time! (full quote)
  1. And what do we burn apart from witches? 2. (thinking, thinking)...more WITCHES!!!! (full quote)
9914 We would like to say that the people responsible for sacking the people who have been sacked have now been sacked (full quote)
  Dead Body Collecter: BRING OUT YOUR DEAD *CLANK* x3 Live Guy: Alrighty here you go Dead Guy: I'm not quite dead yet DBC:what? LG: Oh nothing heres your 9 pense DG I'm not dead DBC: He says he's not dead yet LG: He is DG I'm not DBC: he says he's not LG: Ah he will be he's very ill DG: I'm getting better LG: Oh be quiet you'll be stone dead in a moment DBC: I can't take him like that it's against regulations DG: I don't want to go on the cart LG: DOn't be such a baby DBC: I can't take him DG: I feel fine LG: Oh do us a favor DBC: I can't LG: well can you hang around a bit he won't be long DBC: I fighting with the Robinson I've already lost nine today. LG: Well when's your next round? DBC: Thursday DG: I think I'll go for a walk LG: Your not fooling any one you know.isn't there something you can do? DG: I feel happy oh so *THUD* (full quote)
  FATHER: Listen, Alice... HERBERT: Herbert. FATHER: Herbert. .... We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get. HERBERT: But I don't like her. FATHER: Don't like her?! what's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land. (full quote)
10353 (sung)Robin's Minstrel: Bravely, bold Sir Robin, brought forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, Oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken. To have his knee caps split and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and his heart cut out and liver removed and his bottom burnt up and his penis...Robin: that's enough singing for now lads (full quote)
deadpoetjs 1)what is you're name? 2)I am Arthur king of the Britons. 1)what is you're quest? 2)I seek the Holy Grail. 1)what is the air-speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow? 2)what do you mean, and African or a European swallow. (full quote)
MaggieForMargaret Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? (full quote)
ShadowDragyn 1) Where are you two going? 2) We're coming with *you*. 1) No, no, I want you to *stay* 'ere and make sure he doesn't leave! 2) Oh, right! (full quote)
  One day my lad, all this will be yours what, the curtains? No, not the curtains lads. All that you see, stretched before you. (full quote)
11027 By the end of this day, were going to have a marriage....or a hanging. Either way were going to have a bloody good time! (full quote)
  Then, shall thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shall thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then shall proceed to three. Five is right out. (full quote)
  I don't want to talk to you no more! you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time! (full quote)
11352 1) How do you know she's a witch? 2) She turned me into a newt. [Surprised looks] I got better. (full quote)
11421 Shrubery (full quote)
  That's no ordinary rabbit... (full quote)
11871 Black Night=BL, King Aurthor=KA BL) 'Tis but a scratch. (KA) A scratch?! Your arm's off. (BL) No it isn't. (KA) Well what's that then? ::pause:: (BL) I've had worse. (KA) You liar. (BL) Come on, you panzy! (full quote)
  You english kerniggits (full quote)
GeckoBalls I waggle my genitalia at your auntie. (full quote)
MaggieForMargaret 1:I'm not dead yet. 2: He will be any second. 1: I think I'll go for a walk. I feel happy. I feel happy. (full quote)
12554 Run Away!! Run Away!!!!!! (full quote)
12554 I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberry! (full quote)
11654 You've got two empty halves of a coconut and you're bangin 'em together! (full quote)
11654 Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? (full quote)
11654 1: where, behind the rabbit? 2: It IS the rabbit. (full quote)
12691 Is there anybody else up there we could talk to? (full quote)
12691 I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent? (full quote)
13089 Oh jesus you made me mess my armor! (full quote)
449 Bring us a shrubbery (full quote)
449 You may not pass unless you answer a question (full quote)
14394 -I'm invincible!!! -You're a loony! (full quote)
14747 How do you know so much about swallows? You have to know this stuff when your king. (full quote)
  1)all ya gotta do is answer 5 questions- 2) Three sir! 1) Three questions and then you may pass (full quote)
  (has holy hand grenade of atioch and is about to throw) KA: 1.. 2... 5- SE: Three Sir KA: 3 (throws holy hand grenade) -BOOM- (full quote)
14806 But he's got these fangs Sire and a mean streak a mile long! (full quote)
  I'm invinsible! The Black Night always triumphs! (full quote)
16039 O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. (full quote)
11438 your mother was a whore and your father smeeled of elderberries (full quote)
17011 1) why do u say she is a witch 2)she turned me into a newt!!! i got better 3) cause she looks like one 4)i didn't dress like this they did it and this isnt my nose tis a false one 3) we did do the nose.. and the hat but she is a witch (full quote)
  1)would it confuse it more if we ran away more? 2)Oh, shut up, and gio and change your armor (full quote)
  O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to bits...in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin... (full quote)
  1) How do you know so much about swallows? 2) well, you have to know these kinds of things when your king (full quote)
  1) its the Bridge of Death! 2) Oh, great! (full quote)
  Whaaaat is your name? Sir Launcelot of Camelot. what is your quest? I seek the Holy Grail what is your favorite color? BLUE! Ok go on O, thank you THATS EASY!!! (full quote)
17106 1) How do you know so much about swallows? 2) Weel, you have to know these kinds of things when you're king (full quote)
17106 1) Do you think it would confuse it if we run away more? 2)Oh shut up and go and change your armor! (full quote)
17106 *O Lord, bless this thy holy hand grenade, that thou mayest blow thine enemies to bits, in thy mercy* And the Lord did grin... (full quote)
  Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! (full quote)
  She turned me into a newt! A newt? Well I got better... (full quote)
  I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time! (full quote)
17692 I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. (full quote)
  Don't like her?! what's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land! (full quote)
17753 Guard: Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we— Father: Yes? What is it? Guard: Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh— Father: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right? Guard: Uhh, can he leave the room with us? Father: N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he— Guard: Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him— Father: No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here— Guard: Until you or anyone else— Father: No, not anyone else. Just me. Guard: Just you…. Father: Get back. Guard: Get back. Father: All right? Guard: Right. We'll stay here until you get back. Father: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave. Guard: What? Father: make sure he doesn't leave. Guard: The Prince? Father: Yes. make sure 'e doesn't leave. Guard: Oh, yes, of course. (full quote)
17753 MAYNARD: It reads; Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh. ARTHUR: what? MAYNARD: ...The Castle of aaaaaagggh. ARTHUR: what is that? MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it. LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on! (full quote)
17753 BEDEVERE: Oooohoohohooo! LAUNCELOT: No, no. 'Aaaauugggh', at the back of the throat. Aaauugh. BEDEVERE: N-- no. No, no, no, no. 'Oooooooh', in surprise and alarm. LAUNCELOT: Oh, you mean sort of a 'aaaah'! (full quote)
17753 FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. GALAHAD: what a strange person. (full quote)
17753 ARTHUR: what happens now? BEDEVERE: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! ARTHUR: Who leaps out? BEDEVERE: U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh... ARTHUR: Ohh. BEDEVERE: Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger-- (full quote)
17753 ARTHUR: Yes, we're-- we're looking for the Holy Grail. Our quest is to find the Holy Grail. KNIGHTS: Yeah. Yes. It is. It is. Yeah. Yup. Yup. Hm. Mm. ARTHUR: And so, we're-- we're-- we're looking for it. (full quote)
17753 RIGHT HEAD: Oh, stop bitching and let's go have tea. LEFT HEAD: Oh, all right. All right. All right. We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits. (full quote)
17753 SOLDIER #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together? SOLDIER #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line. SOLDIER #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper! SOLDIER #1: what, held under the dorsal guiding feathers? SOLDIER #2: Well, why not? (full quote)
  I am french can't you tell by my outrrrraaaaggeous accent. (full quote)
  None shall pass. (full quote)
  1)(gong) BRING OUT your DEAD! (gong) BRING OUT your DEAD! 2)Here's one. 3) I'm not DEAD. 1) He says he not dead. 2) Who're you foolin? You'll be stone cold in a minute. 3) I don't want to go in the cart, i want to go for a walk. I feel happy. 1) Well i can't take him like that, its against regulations. 2) Is there anything you can do? 1) (hits the old guy on the head with something) 2) Thank you (full quote)
  1) Old woman. 2) I'm a man, and i'm not old, i'm 37. 1) Well i can't just call you man. 2) You could call me Dennis. 1) Well i didn't know your name was Dennis. 2) Well you didn't bother to ask now did you? (full quote)
18304 Why do you think I speak with this outrrraaageous accent?!?! (full quote)
  First shalt thou take out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three. NO more no less.Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count neihter count thou two...excepting that thou then procede to three. Five is right out! Once the number three being the third number be reached...then lobbest thou thy holy hand grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight shall snuff it! (full quote)
  1)For since the tragic death of her father..... 2)He's not quite dead! 1)Since the near fatal wounding of her father..... 2)He's getting better! 1)For since her own father, who when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him. 2)He's died! (full quote)
Emania Some of my best friends are witches, really, they are! They’re very nice. (full quote)
Emania Let us not go to Camelot...it is a silly place. (full quote)
  You don't frighten us. English Pig dogs! Go boil you bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you so-called Authur King. You and all your silly kings. Thppt! >What a silly person >Now look here my good man! I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed food troph wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries! (full quote)
19259 your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!! (full quote)
19378 *Bring out your dead! Bring out your ead! *(being dragged out) No no no I'm not dead yet! *You will be! *I'm getting better! (full quote)
13307 1. How do you know she is a witch? 2. She turned me into a newt! 1. A newt?!? 2. (pause) Well i got better. (full quote)
13307 1: We found a witch, may we burn her? 2: What makes you think she's a witch? 1: She looks like one! 2: Send her foreward. 3: I am NOT a witch! I am NOT a witch! 2: But you are dressed as one. 3: THEY dressed me like this. And this isn't my nose, it's a false one. 2: Well? 1: Well we did do the nose.....and the hat......but she is a witch! 2: Did you dress her like this? 1: No....no.....no....yes....yes....a bit....a bit....she does have a wart! 2: What makes you think she is a witch? 1: She turned me into a newt!!! 2: A newt? 1: ...........i got better. Burn her anyway!!! 2: There are ways of tellin whether she is a witch. 1: There are? Tell us! 2: Well, what do you do to witches? 1: Burn them!!! 2: And what do you burn apart from witches? 1: more WITCHES!!! ......wood. 2: So why do witches burn? 1: ........b-........because they're made of......of wood? 2: Good! So do we tell whether she is made from wood? 1: Build a bridge out of her! 2: Ah, but can bridges not also be made from stone? 1: Oh yeah.... 2: Does wood sink in water? 1: No. It floats. THROW HER IN THE POND! 2: What floats besides wood? 1: Bread. Apples. Very small rocks! 4: A duck! 2: Exactly! So, logically, if.... 1: ...She weighs as much as a duck.......then she's made of wood? 2: And therefore....? 1: A WITCH!!! 2: We shall use my largest scale... (full quote)
  what a strange person! (full quote)
  what is your name? what is your quest? (full quote)
  I warned you ,but did you listen to me? Oh no it's just a harmless little bunny isn't it. It's always the same I warn them but they never listen (full quote)
20417 1. what floats beside wood? 2. uh...Bread! Gravy! Very small rocks! Churches! Lead! 3. A DUCK! 1. Coreecctt! so, lo-gi-ca-ly...2. if she weighs the same as a duck...she's made of wood...1. And therefore...2. A WITCH!! 1. We shall use my largest scales! (full quote)
  you suck butt wipe every single one of you suck. (full quote)
  Follow only if yee be men of valor, for death awaits you, and its got nasty pointy teeth!! (full quote)
21453 help! help! I'm being repressed. (full quote)
  Bring out your dead....Bring out your dead.... But I'm not dead yet....... (full quote)
  what a strange person!! (full quote)
20182 And there was much rejoicing (wooooooooo!!!) (full quote)
  1.)We have found a witch. May we burn her? 2.)How do you know she is a witch? 3.)She looks like one. 4.)Bring her forward. 5.)I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch. 6.) Uh, but you are dressed as one. 7.)They dressed me up like this. 8.)Augh, we didn't! We didn't... 9.)And this isn't my nose. It's a false one. 10.) Well? 11.) Well, we did do the nose. 12.) The nose? 13.) The nose? 14.) And the hat, but she is a witch! 15.)Did you dress her up like this? 16.)No! 17.)No. No. 18.)Yes. 19.)Yes. 20.) Yes. Yeah, a bit. 21.)A bit. (full quote)
  We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Neeeewomp! (full quote)
14345 We are now no longer the knights who say 'Nee!' We are now the knights who say 'Ekky-Ekky-Ekky-ba-clang-zoo-boing-rahhrrarrr'. (full quote)
  help! help! I'm being oppressed! (full quote)
  1.Its got HUGE sharp tee...its leaps about..look at the BONES! 2. what is your name? what is your quest? what is your favorite color? Blue..no yellow! ahhh (full quote)
  I am Zeut's identical twin sister..Dingo. (full quote)
  1: hes not dead? 2: yes he is 3: im not dead yet! i don't want to go on the cart! #1 he says hes not dead #3 i feel fine #2 you'll be stone dead in a moment #3 i feel fine, i think i'll go for a walk! #2 you're not fooling anyone, isn't there anything you can do? #3 i feel happy! i feeeeel happy! **WHACK** #2 oh thank you #1 very well, see you next thursday then. (full quote)
  You must bring us... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY! And bring it back here adnd place it next to this one, only a little higher to get the two level effect with a little path running down the middle.. (full quote)
  You must bring us...a shrubbery! One that looks nice. And not too expensive! (full quote)
  SIR BEDEVERE: And that, my leige, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped. KING ARTHUR: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheeps' bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. SIR BEDEVERE: Oh, certainly sir. ~~Sir Bedevere and King Arthur (full quote)
25240 (1)Who's that? (2)Must be a King. (1)How can you tell? (2)he hasn't got shit all over him. (full quote)
  'Ello. Excuse me but did you just say 'hello'? No I said 'Ello but close enough. (full quote)
deadpoetjs Come see the violence inerent in the system! Come see the violence inherent in the system. help! help! I'm being repressed. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it didn't you? (full quote)
  shrubberies are my trade. i am a shrubber. my name is roger, the shrubber. i arrange,design and sell shrubberies. (full quote)
26772 1) THERE! 2) what, behind the rabbit? 1) It is the rabbit. (full quote)
deadpoetjs 1)Okay, what happens now. 2)Well, Lancelot, Gallahad, and I jump out of the rabbit and catch them by suprise; and not only by suprise, but completely unarmed... 1)Uh, who jumps out? 2)Lancelot, Gallahad, and... (full quote)
  We are now the knights of icky icky icky pu tang zu boing vowzer! (full quote)
  1)One day, lad, all this will be yours. 2)what? The curtains? (full quote)
28129 French dude in castle:- A told im we already av 1 (snigger) (full quote)
28129 Black night:- its only a flesh wound Black night:- No man shall pass Black night:- ill get u for that (full quote)
28129 :-Black night:- its only a flesh wound :-Black night:- No man shall pass :-Black night:- ill get u for that (full quote)
28129 how do you no she is a witch? /peasant/ she looks like 1!!/ (full quote)
28129 there it is!!!! CAMELOT! / (mutter) / its only a model! (full quote)
28129 we are no longer the nights who say NEE!! we are now the the nights who say ECKEY ECKEY WHOOP BANG HUMANA HUMANA HUMANA! and u must bring us ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!! u no witha nice little path running down the middle? and then!! u must smote down the mightyest tree in the forrest with!! A HERRING!! (NIGHT) A HERRING! we cant do that! (night of nee) AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR PLEASE! (full quote)
1ajas We have found a witch, might we burn her? (full quote)
Adam help, help I'm being repressed! (full quote)
  Bring out je' dead! (full quote)
28874 ARTHUR: There! Look! LAUNCELOT: What does it say? GALAHAD: What language is that? ARTHUR: Brother Maynard! You are a scholar. MAYNARD: It's Aramaic! GALAHAD: Of course! Joseph of Arimathea! LAUNCELOT: 'Course! ARTHUR: What does it say? MAYNARD: It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh'. ARTHUR: What? MAYNARD: '...The Castle of aaaaaagggh'. BEDEVERE: What is that? MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it. LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on! MAYNARD: Well, that's what it says. ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaaaaggh'. He'd just say it! MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock! GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating. ARTHUR: Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else? MAYNARD: No. Just 'aaaaaagggh'. LAUNCELOT: Aaaauugggh. ARTHUR: Aaaaaggh. (full quote)
28874 Bring out your dead! CUSTOMER: Here's one. CART MASTER: Ninepence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! CART MASTER: what? CUSTOMER: Nothing. Here's your ninepence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! CART MASTER: 'Ere. He says he's not dead! CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. DEAD PERSON: I'm not! CART MASTER: He isn't? CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill. DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better! CUSTOMER: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment. CART MASTER: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations. DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go on the cart! CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby. CART MASTER: I can't take him. DEAD PERSON: I feel fine! CUSTOMER: Well, do us a favour. CART MASTER: I can't. CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long. CART MASTER: No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today. CUSTOMER: Well, when's your next round? CART MASTER: Thursday. DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk. CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do? DEAD PERSON: [singing] I feel happy. I feel happy. [whop] CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much. CART MASTER: Not at all. See you on Thursday. (full quote)
  None Shall Pass (full quote)
  I am Arthur, King of the Britians (full quote)
  what a strange person! (full quote)
  what a strange person! (full quote)
  How do you know so much about Swallows? You have to know this sort of thing when your a King (full quote)
Galvanation King Arthur: what is this test, O Knights of...Knights who till recently said Ni? (full quote)
Galvanation Sir Bedevere: And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped. (full quote)
Galvanation Narrator: Sir Launcelot the Brave... Sir Galahad the Pure... and Sir Robin, the not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot... who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor... who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol... and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill. (full quote)
  listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farsical aquatic ceremony. You can't expect to wield SUPREME executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Yeah, if i went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moisten bink lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! (full quote)
  I suck (full quote)
13307 -Hello? -Who goes there? -I am Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, defeater of the saxtons, sovereign of all England. -Pull the other one! -I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the lengths and snows of Mercia, through... -what? ridden on a horse? -Yes -Your using coconuts! -what do you mean? -You've got 2 empty halves of coconut and your bangin them together! -So? We have ridden since the snows of winter... -Where did you get the cocnuts? -We found them. -Found them? In Mercia? the coconut's tropical! -So? -So this is a temperate zone. -The swallow may fly South with the sun, or the house Martin or the plover may seek warmer climates in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. -are you suggesting coconuts migrate? -Not at all. They could be carried. -what, a swallow carrying a coconut? -It doesn't matter, go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court at Camelot is here... -Listen, in order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow needs to beat it's wings 53 times per second, right? -Please! -am i right? -I'm not interested. - It could be carried by an African swallow. -Oh, yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point. -Oh yeah, i agree with you there. -Then again, uh....African swallows are non-migratory..... (full quote)
  And that my liege is how we know the earth to be banana shaped. (full quote)
  African or European? I don't know. Ahhh... (full quote)
30386 now you must cut down a tree with.... A HERRING!!!! (in the background- a herring, a herring) (full quote)
  Dennis:Look strange women lying around in ponds is no means for as system of government. (full quote)
  1.listen Alice. 2.Herbert 1.Herbert (full quote)
  King Arthur:You there old woman! Dennis:Man! Arthur:Many sorry, old man what knight lives in that castle? Dennis: I'm 37! Arthur:what? Dennis: I'm 37 I'm not old. Arthur: Well I can't just call you man can I? Dennis: Well you could've said Dennis! Arthur:Well I didn't know you were called Dennis. Dennis:Well you didn't bother to find out did you? (full quote)
  Villager:We found a witch may we burn her? Bedevere:How do you know she is a witch? Villager:she looks like one! Woman: I'm not a witch! I'm not a witch! Bedevere:But you are dressed as one. Woman:They dressed me up like this. And this isn't my nose its a false one. Bedevere:Did you dress her up like this? Villagers: no no...yes yes a bit. Well we did do the nose. Bedevere:the nose? Villager:and the hat but she's a witch! Bedevere:How do you know she is a witch? Villager 2:OH she turned me into a newt!Bedevere:a newt?Villager2:I got better...Villager3:burn her anyway!Villagers:BURN HER!Bedevere:Quiet, quiet!There are ways of telling wether she is a witch. Villager1:There are tell us!Villager3:do they hurt?Bedevere:Tell me what do you do with witches?Villagers:BURN THEM Bedevere:And what do you burn apart from witches?Villager1:more WITCHES!Villager3:Wood! Bedevere:Good!Tell me does wood float in water?Villager1:No, no it floats.It floats!Throw her into the pond!Bedevere:No, now what else floats in water?Villagers:Very smalle rocks,great gravy,cherries,churches,lead... Arthur:A duck!Bedevere:Exactly (full quote)
  your a busy man. (full quote)
  Men:A-a-argh Bedevere:ooooo-oo Lancelot:No its more of an A-a-a-rgh at the back of the throat. Bedevere: No oooo as in suprise and alarm. Lancelot:Oh, you mean more of an Ah! Bedevere:yes, AAAh Arthur:Ooo dear God! (full quote)
  Arthur:Be quiet, be quiet, I ORDER you to be quiet! Woman:Order!Who does he think he is? Arthur: I'm your king! Woman: Well I didn't vote for you! Arthur: You don't vote for kings. Woman: Well how do you become king then? (full quote)
  (Lancelot stabs a gaurd and runs in) (other guard looks at dead gaurd and says after Lancelot)Hey. (full quote)
  Man:The merger...the union of the princess and the very brave but DANGEROUS Lancelot of Camelot! Lancelot:what? (full quote)
  french guard) you don't frighten us, English pig-dog. Go boil your bottom, son of a silly person. I blow my nose at you so-called Arthur King-a! you and all your silly English knnnnnniggets! galahad)what a strange person Arthur) Now look here, my good man French guard) I don't wanna talk to yuo no more you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries. (full quote)
  father) one day lad all this will be yours prince) what the curtains? (full quote)
Marvin Acme We're knights of the round table, We dance whenever we're able, We do routines, and chorus scenes, With footwork impeccable. We dine well here in Camelot, We eat ham, and jam, and spam a lot. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. #2- Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1-What are you then? #2-I'm French. Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king. #3-What are you doing in England? #2-Mind your own business. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1-Now stand aside, worthy adversary. #2-'Tis but a scratch. #1-A scratch?! Your arm's off.#2-No it isn't.#1-Then what's that then. #2-I've had worse. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1-what is your name? #2-My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot. #1-what is your quest? #2-To seek the Holy Grail. #1-what is your favorite color? #2-Blue. #1-Right, off you go. (full quote)
Scerath listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. (full quote)
  You can't expext to weild supreme, executive power jus cos some watery tart threw a sword at you! (full quote)
  help help IM BEING REPRESSED! (full quote)
  I'm not old, I'm 37. (full quote)
  Yes, you must give us all a good spanking! And then...the oral sex. (full quote)
32106 Strange women lying around in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. (full quote)
32106 We are but eight score blonds and brunettes all between the ages of sixteen and nineteen and a half. Our lives must seem very dull compared to yours. bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwhere. (full quote)
crowecat 1) Who is that? 2) It must be a King. 1) How do you know? 2) He hasn’t got shit all over him. (full quote)
crowecat 1) What makes you think she’s a witch? 2) She turned me into a newt. 1) A newt? 2)I got better. (full quote)
  Ha ha! (Chops off his arm) Victory is mine! 'Tis but a scratch! A scratch?! Your arm is off! No it isn't. what's that? (Looks over) I've had worse. You lie! (full quote)
  It's just a flesh wound! Come back here and I'll bite your knee caps off! (full quote)
  Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time (full quote)
  We are the knights who say NEE! (full quote)
  See the violence inherent in the system (full quote)
yousmelllikebutt 1) what ridden on a horse? 2) yes 1) you're using coconuts! 2) what? 1) you've got two empty 'alves of coconut and you're banging em together! (full quote)
  1)Stop! what... is your name? 2)'Sir Galahad of Camelot'. 1)what... is your quest? 2)I seek the Grail. 1)what... is your favourite colour? 2)Blue. No, yel-- auuuuuuuugh! 1)Hee hee heh. (full quote)
  1)That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! 2)You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared! (full quote)
33525 1. Order eh? who do you think you are? 2. well im your king, 1.well i didnt vote for you, 2.you dont vote for kings! (full quote)
33525 1. But mother-2. father 1. but father (full quote)
33525 1. listen! alice-2. Herbert! 2. herbert (full quote)
33525 1. Sir. Lancelot! you got my note! 2.Well i got A note (full quote)
33525 1.Old woman-2.man 1. man sorry, who lives in that castle?2.I'm 37 1.what? 2. I'm 37 I'm not old. 1. Well i can't call you just man.2. Well you could call me Denis 1.I did't know you were called Denis 2. Well you didn't bother to find out did you (full quote)
  1-Look you stupid bastard you've got no arms left! 2-Yes I have! 1-LOOK! 2-It's just a flesh wound. (full quote)
30083 We are the knights who say 'KNEE'! (full quote)
  tis a scratch (full quote)
Gail Bring out your dead! (full quote)
32106 .....Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government... (full quote)
  Strange ladies lying in lakes distributing swords is no basis for a system of government (full quote)
  --I'm not dead yet--- you will be soon (full quote)
  We are the knights who say...NI... ni ni ni ni ni ni (full quote)
  bring us... a shrubbary (full quote)
35138 help! help! I'm being oppressed!! (full quote)
35138 ...And they were forced to eat Robin's minstrals. And there was much rejoicing....(yay!)... (full quote)
34821 1. You only killed the bride's father-that's all-. 2. Oh dear, I didn't really mean to.... 1. didn't mean to? ou put your sword right through his head! (full quote)
34821 1. We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked. 2. Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretty nasti.... 3. We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked. (full quote)
  1.Oh, King, eh, very nice! And how d'you get that,eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society! If there's EVER going to be any progress... 2. DENNIS!! There's some lovely filth down here! (full quote)
  Come back here! I'll bite your legs off! (full quote)
  1. She turned me into a newt! 2. A newt?! 1. I got better. (full quote)
  Can't I have just a little bit of peril? (full quote)
marty386 We are the knights who say ni! (full quote)
  She turned me into a newt! A newt? I got better (full quote)
  1)What do we burn besides witches? 2)more witches!!!!!! (full quote)
  We are the knights who say...NEEE!! (full quote)
  Anwser me these questions three then the other side ye' see. Go ahead bridge keeper im not afriad. what is your name!? Sir Lancelot of Camolot. what IS your Quest!? I seek the Holy Grial. what is your Favorit COLOR!? Blue. Ohh allright then go ahead (full quote)
  help help I'm being repressed!! I'm being repressed!! Did you see that? Did you see him repressing me? (full quote)
  'tis merely a flesh wound (full quote)
37714 It's just a flesh wound! (full quote)
  You son of a silly person! (full quote)
  She's got HUGE, tracks of land! (full quote)
  what a strange person! (full quote)
16093 King Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place (full quote)
  We are no longer the Knights who say Ni. We are know the Knights who say ecky ecky ecky bagang zoot boing, goodum zolly chev! (full quote)
  1.) Aaahh! You said the word!The nights of Ni cant hear that word!..2.)what word? Oh, stop it.1.)Aaahh! You said the word again! 2.)what are you talking about? Stop it i tell you, your annoying me.1.)You said it again!..2.)Oh no, I said it! 2.)I said it again! 2.)I said it again!.2.)AAAHHH! (full quote)
  ARTHUR: The lady of the lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft excalibur from the bossom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry excalibur. That is why I am your king. DENNIS: listen, strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords is no way to establish a system of government. (full quote)
  Arthur: Old Woman! DENNIS: MAN! A: Man, sorry, who lives in that castle? D: I'm 37. A: what? D: I'm 37, I'm not old. A: Well I can't just call you man. D: Well you could say Dennis. A: Well I didn't know you were called Dennis. D: Well you didn't bother to find out did you? A: I did say sorry about the old womamn thing, but from behind you looked... D: Well I object to you treating me like an inferior! A: Well I am king. D:Oh king eh, VERY NICE, and how'd you get that eh? By EXPLOITING THE WORKERS! (full quote)
  bring out your dead......bring out your dead (full quote)
  you shall bring us.....a shrawberry (full quote)
  We are, the knights who say Ni. (full quote)
Braveheart 1) How do you know he's a King? 2) He's not covered in shit. (full quote)
  It's just a flesh wound (full quote)
  It's just a flesh wound (full quote)
40128 It's only a model. (full quote)
40173 help! help! I'm being repressed! (full quote)
40173 If said I was a king just because some moisten bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away. (full quote)
  we cant risk another frontle asalt the rabbits dynomite (full quote)
  your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries (full quote)
  Must be a king! How do you know? He hasn't got shit all over him. (full quote)
  --We are now no longer the Knights who say NI! --NI! NI! --No, shut up! --We are now the Knights who say Iki iki iki iki wakkapatang! (full quote)
  --I bet you're gay! --I am not! (full quote)
  you've got no arms its just a flesh wound (full quote)
36501 I fart in your general direction (full quote)
  Alright we'll call it a draw (full quote)
  Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. (full quote)
  I move...for....NO MAN! (full quote)
42794 your mother was hampster and your father smelt of elderberries (full quote)
42884 I'm not dead yet! I think I'll go for a walk! (full quote)
43311 Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off! (full quote)
  what is the average air speed velocity of an unladden swallow? African or European? what? I don't know! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (full quote)
  tis but a flesh wound (full quote)
  watch she turned me into a newt.....I got better (full quote)
  b-what do we burn apart from witches? v-dirty bitches!! like mrs.blomquest!!! all villagers-GET HER!! v-throw her into the pont see if she floats like a duck!! (full quote)
  Someday this will all be yours.... what the curtains! (full quote)
  I am a shrubber. My name is Rodger the shrubber. i arrange, design , and sell shrubberies. (full quote)
  what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? (full quote)
  (King arthur) Look, you stupid bastard you've got no arms left! ( black knight) yes, i have (King arthur) Look! (black knight) it's just a flesh wound (full quote)
  (King Arthur) You make me sad...come Patsy. (full quote)
19580 It's a fair cop, gouvner. (full quote)
19580 1)what's your favorite color? 2) Blue! No, yel...! AAHH! (full quote)
19580 You tit! I was so scared, I soiled my armor! (full quote)
19580 1) Get stuffed! 2) He'll do you up a treat, mate! (full quote)
19580 1) You mangy, Scots git! 2) I'm warning you! 1) what's he do? Nibble your bum? (full quote)
46264 1#The what?...but you are tired and must rest a while. Midget! Crapper! 2+3#Yes, O Zoot? 1#Prepare a bed for our quest. 2+3#Oh thank you, Zoot, thank you, thank you. 1#Away varaltesses (full quote)
  Those who hear them, Seldom live to tell the tale (full quote)
  -We shall say Ni again to you if you do not please us -Well what is it you want? -We want.. A Shrubery! (full quote)
  You make me sad, So be it. (full quote)
  -Tis but a scratch. -A scratch? Your arm's off! -No it isnt! -Well whats that then? -I've had worse. (full quote)
  - Look you stupid ____! You've got no arms left! - Yes I have!! -Look! - Just a flesh wound! (full quote)
  Have at you! (full quote)
  ( Roger)- what sad times are theese when passing rougheans can say Ni at will to old ladies. (full quote)
TyeDi Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? (full quote)
  Oh! Dont grovel! If it's one thing I can't stand its groveling, its always I'm sorry this and forgive me that. (full quote)
  Knights: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Peng, and Neewong. Arthur: Those who hear those words seldom live to tell the tale. Knights: Ni, ni, ni, ni, ni, ni, ni. We will say Ni again if you do not appease us. (full quote)
  1) good idea o Lord! 2) OF COURSE IT'S A good IDEA! (full quote)
  It's a question of weight ratios. A 5 ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut. (full quote)
33944 So, you think you can out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent, running about, advancing type behavior??.... I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters!!! (full quote)
  It's just a flesh wound! (full quote)
  -It is I Arthur king of the Britons -king of the whooo?? -The Britons!! -Who are the Britons??? -We are! We all are the Britons. -Well, I didnt vote for ya. (full quote)
  I blow my nose at you!!!!! (full quote)
  Perhaps it was carried by an African swallow! Oh, but those are non-migratery... (full quote)
  We are no longer the Knights who say Ni. We are now the Knights who say...Icky Icky Icky Pa-Kang Zoooop Boing Shoom Bowl Zhiv. (full quote)
  She's got huge.....tracks o' land! (full quote)
  And the animator suffered a fatal heart attack...and the Black Beast of Aaaaaaarrgh was no more. (full quote)
  Very small rocks!! (full quote)
  'Tis but a scratch. (full quote)
  Well how do you know he's a king?.....Because he hasn't got shit all over him, (full quote)
  Its just a flesh wound. (full quote)
agwendolyn You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared! (full quote)
agwendolyn The coconut's tropical. This is a temperate zone! (full quote)
  no. no. no. no a bit. yes. a bit. (full quote)
  I'm 37, I'm not old! (full quote)
knightswhosayni You must bring us... a SHRUBBERY! (full quote)
Marvin Acme ...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... (full quote)
Marvin Acme And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.' Amen (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- She turned me into a newt! #2- A newt? #1- I got better. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- What makes you think she is a witch? #2- Well, she turned me into a newt. #1- A newt? #2- I got better. (full quote)
zxcv -Where'd you get the coconuts? -We found them. -Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical! -what do you mean? -Well, this is a temperate zone. -The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land? -Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? (full quote)
  The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest of shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king! (full quote)
Marvin Acme Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history. (full quote)
10929 Ni! (full quote)
10929 Run away! (full quote)