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Arthur - 1981 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
DirtySteve Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a women of your stature. (full quote)
DirtySteve 1)Would you care to wait in the library? 2)Yes I would the bathroom is out of the question. (full quote)
DirtySteve 1)Mr. Bach, how good to see you. 2)Oh, if only someone I knew felt that way. (full quote)
5245 Don't you hate Perry's wife?? (full quote)
  Arthur: I'm going to take a bath. Butler: I'll alert the media. (full quote)
4927 PEANUTS!! (full quote)
4927 He's taking the knife out of the cheese! Do you think he wants some cheese?! (full quote)
6661 Arthur, take my hand? But that will leave you with only one. (full quote)
6661 Hobson,will you run my bath for me? It is what I live for. Perhaps you would like me to come and there and wash your dick for you, you little shit. (full quote)
6661 Ahh your a hedge!!!!! (full quote)
6661 Are you sure you want to be a stand up comic??? (full quote)
6650 FORGET THE MOOSE! (full quote)
7918 Offer to take my hat? You don't have a hat. Then offer to take my tie! (full quote)
7918 You must have really hated this moose. (full quote)
7918 I race cars, play tennis, fondle women, have the weekends off and I am my own boss. (full quote)
7937 You're a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you! (full quote)
1990 Girls, girls, girls...Hello girls! Will the more attractive of you please step forward. (full quote)
1990 Don't you wish you were me? I know I do! (full quote)
1990 #1 Mr. Bach, how good to see you. #2 Oh, if only someone I knew felt that way. Ha Ha Ha Ha! (full quote)
1990 #1 We have your regular table Mr. Bach. #2 I know you have it, but is anyone sitting at it! Ha Ha Ha Ha! (full quote)
9316 exuse me,did you say,exept for fish? (full quote)
9316 hes taking the knife out of the cheese,do you think he wants some cheese? (full quote)
  I have the weekend off and i am my own boss (full quote)
9316 Are you a hooker? god i forgot,i thought i was just doing really well with you (full quote)
9751 1. (Crying) He's taking the knife out of the cheese! Do you think he wants some cheese? 2. (Crying) I think we're going to die (full quote)
9751 1. Would you like to draw my bath 2. It's what I live for. Perhaps you'd like me to wash your d*** for you, you little sh** (full quote)
11289 1: A real woman could stop you from drinking. 2: It'd have to be a real BIG woman. (full quote)
11289 Good afternoon. If you and your undershirt will take two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling. (full quote)
1990 Tell me has there been a death in your family? This is funny stuff here. (full quote)
1990 #1 So how rich are you? #2 All I can tell you is...I wish I had a dime for every dime I have! (full quote)
1990 Aren't waiters wonderful? You ask them for things and they bring them. Same principal as Santa Claus. (full quote)
1990 #1 Do you like me? #2 You're cute. #1 I know that! but do you like me? (full quote)
1990 #1 Do you know the worst part of being me? #2 I should imagine your breath. (full quote)
1990 #1 It's thrilling to meet you Gloria. #2 Hi. #1 Yes, you obviously have a wonderful economy with words Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness. (full quote)
1990 good luck in prison. (full quote)
1990 #1 Thanks. Where is my roll? #2 I'm having it monogramed. Take it easy. (full quote)
1990 #1 Does Arthur know your here? #2 No, Arthur is to fine a person to be involvedin something as devious as this. (full quote)
1990 #1 Unfortunately every time you have an erection it makes the papers. #2 Goodness, I sound like a dime novel. (full quote)
14534 #1. I don't like your drinking, Arthur. It makes you indecisive. #2. You might be right, I can't decide. (full quote)
15068 Susan, i’m going to have another drink, do you want another fish? (full quote)
  Bitterman....would you like to run my bath? It's what I live for. (full quote)
  I'm going to have another drink, would you like another fish? (full quote)
  Would the more attractive of you please step forward. (full quote)
  Bathing is a lonely business... except for fish. (full quote)
  Do you have any objection to naming a child Vladimir, even if it's a girl? (full quote)
  Girls, Girls, Girls. hello girls! (full quote)
  engine room where's my drink? (full quote)
  Through the park Bitterman, you know how I love the park (full quote)
  I fell out of the car, did you see that Bitterman I fell out of the damn car. Isn't that the funniest thing you have ever seen? (full quote)
  (to the moose) This is a tough room...but I dont have to tell you that. (full quote)
  where's the rest of this moose? (full quote)
  This one's a goner. (full quote)
4927 A) Are you someone's father? B) Me? No! I'm a drunk! (full quote)
4927 He's taking the knife out of the cheese. Do you think he wants some cheese?! (full quote)
4927 I often wonder... fish must get awfully tired of seafood. what are your thoughts (name)? (full quote)
4927 Where were you when I was selling cars? (full quote)
4927 A) I don't drink. I think drinking affects your decision-making. B) You may be right. I can't decide. (full quote)
4927 (Name), I don't see any reason for prolonging this conversation, unless you plan on knocking over a fruit stand later. [turns to second party] good luck in prison. (full quote)
4927 A) My mother died when I was 6. My father raped me when I was 12. B) So, you had 6 relatively good years. (full quote)
4927 He's taking the knife out of the cheese! Do you think he wants some cheese?! (full quote)
10929 We have cocaine, marijuana, vodka, gin and some prune Danish. (full quote)
12979 1) Look, she's stealing that tie! women don't wear ties! It's the perfect crime... well, not the perfect crime, but it's a very good crime. 2) If she murdered the tie, it would be a perfect crime. (full quote)
12979 1) It just makes you sick. He gets all that money, and he repays his family with this? By being a drunk, it's enough to make you sick. 2) I really wouldn't know, sir. I'm just a servant. On the other hand, go screw yourself. (full quote)
12979 You purchased a choo-choo? (full quote)
12979 I need an aspirin. You will find it in the bathroom cabinet on the left, behind the untouched shaving cream. (full quote)
12979 1) what should I wear? 2) Steal something casual. 1) (to a third person) I like him. 2) Likewise, I'm sure. (full quote)
12979 1) Hobson, do you know what I'm going to do? 2) No, I don't. 1) I'm going to take a bath. 2) I'll alert the media. (full quote)
12979 1) You look awful. 2) That's because you've never seen me sober. (full quote)
Emania (to 1) I'll be with you in a minute (to 2) Is he with us? (full quote)
Emania 1. We're going to be like one of those poor couples on the subway...we'll hold hands. How much *is* the subway? 2. sixty cents, but if you spit its a five hundred dollar fine. 1. Then...I *won't* spit. 2. Good. None of the best people do. (full quote)
Emania 1. It's very little. 85 cents in a cab from one end of the country to the other. I'm talking small. 2. We understand its small, Arthur. 1. They recently had the whole country carpted. This is not a big place! (full quote)
Emania 1. what are you doing tomorrow night? 2. I don't know...oh, I have plans for tomorrow night. what should I wear? 3. Steal something casual. (full quote)
15068 where’s the rest of this moose? (full quote)
15068 Ha, Haa... Sometimes I just think funny things! (full quote)
15469 Grow up Arthur. You'd make a fine adult. That's easy for you to say, you don't have 50 pairs of short pants hangin' in your closet. (full quote)
15469 MY HUSBAND HAS A GUN! I'm sure he does madam. For all I know he shot it while you scream. (full quote)
15469 what are you into? V.D. I'm really into penicillin. (full quote)
15469 So, tell me about yourself Gloria. My Mother died when I was six. My Father raped me when I was 12. So, you had six relatively good years. (full quote)
16680 1) where the hells my hat? 2) It's on the floor. 1) I HATE it when that HAPPENS! (full quote)
16680 1)Allow me to introduce myself. I am Arthur! 2) I'm Gloria. 1) I am Arthur! 2) Yeah, yeah what are you drinking? 1) Scotch. Would you like some? 2) Why not? 1) You're with me and you have to ask that question? (full quote)
16680 1) That's Arthur Bach isn't it? Tell me, is there something wrong with him? 2)... Yes. (full quote)
17536 1. Yes, Bathing is a lonely business. 2.Except, for fish. Fish all bathe together. Athough they do tend to eat one another...I often think: Fish must get awfully tired of seafood. What are your thoughts.... (full quote)
18780 Linda: When I was a little girl I used to think that the moon was following me. (full quote)
18780 Arthur to Linda: what are you doing here and why are you talking like that? (full quote)
19369 1: girls don't wear ties, it's the perfict crime ... although some do it's not the perfict crime but its a good crime. 2:Yes, if she murdered the tie it would be a perfict crime. (full quote)
20777 This one's a goner. (full quote)
24366 1) Do you mind if I kiss you? 2) Oh, I wish you would. 1) (he walks past her and kisses his horse) I wasn't talking to you! (full quote)
24366 I'll alert the media. (full quote)
24366 Steal something casual. (full quote)
24366 Have you seen a doctor? Yes...and he has seen me. (full quote)
24366 I knew I'd find you here! He just loves that stinky old horse. (full quote)
24366 Would you please get two aspirins for me? You'll will find them on the top shelf of the medicine cabinet, right next to the unused shaving cream. (full quote)
24366 1) How much does it cost to ride the subway? 2) Sixty cents, but if you spit there's a $500 fine. 1) Then I won't spit. 2) Good! (full quote)
24366 I was in the neighborhood. It took me two buses, three cabs and a train to get into the neighborhood, but what the hell. (full quote)
24366 I like a living room I can land a plane in. (full quote)
1ajas #1 Thanks. Where is my roll? #2 I'm having it monogramed. Take it easy. (full quote)
26589 On second thought, go screw yourself. (full quote)
crowecat I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition; and I've brought you orange juice, coffee, and aspirins, or do you need to throw up? (full quote)
crowecat May I come in? If you and your undershirt would walk two paces backward, I could enter this dwelling. (full quote)
crowecat Grow up, Arthur, it would look good on you. That's easy for you to say, you don't have 50 pairs of short pants in your closet. (full quote)
crowecat A real woman would stop you from drinking. Yes, a real big woman. (full quote)
crowecat You're the only woman...at this table (full quote)
crowecat Perhpas you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick. (full quote)
crowecat Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick. (full quote)
crowecat Dad, he's a millionaire. You have my permission to marry him. (full quote)
crowecat Arthur, this is important; there are three books...take them back to the library -- [pretends to die]. (full quote)
crowecat Do you want anything?I want to be youngersorry, it's your job to be older. (full quote)
crowecat I don't drink because drinking affects your decision-making. You might be right, I can't decide. (full quote)
33944 - Yes, Bathing is a lonely business..... do your armpits (full quote)
33944 --- It's thrilling to meet you, Gloria. --- Hi --- Yes, you obviously have a wonderful economy with words Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness (full quote)
33944 - Except, for fish. Fish all bathe together. Athough they do tend to eat one another...I often think: Fish must get awfully tired of seafood. what are your thoughts,Hobson??? (full quote)
33944 Isnt this fun!!! Isnt fun the best thing to have!!?? Dont you wish you were me?? I know I do (full quote)
34986 Tell your story walking before I call a cop. (full quote)
34986 It's called Woman Admiring Pearls...the dealer jerked me around on the price, but I figured, what the hell, you only live once. (full quote)
34986 You're a scary old broad, Martha. (full quote)
34986 Marry Susan, Arthur, and cheat with the nobody from Queens. (full quote)
34986 Here, look at this book. There are many pictures. (full quote)
34986 Why would Arthur marry a dog?! (full quote)
34986 How do you feel about getting married, Arthur? (singing): Blue moon, you saw me standing alone...... (full quote)
34986 (playing the piano and singing): If you knew Susie, like I knew Susie...oh, oh, I need a drink. (full quote)
  offer to take my coat but your not wearing a coat Alright then offer to take my tie (full quote)
  She stole a tie! It's the perfect crime, women don't wear ties! (full quote)
  Hooker: My mother died when I was six. Arthur: Son of a bxtch! Don't they know what they do to kids? Hooker: My father raped me when I was twelve. Arthur: So you've had six relatively good years. (full quote)
  Susan, you're such an a$$hole. Not all of us drink because we're poets. Some of us drink because we're NOT poets. (full quote)
  If you and your undershirt would take two steps backward, I could enter this dwelling. (full quote)
  perhaps you'd like me to wash your dick! you little shit. (full quote)
  [with his drink on his plate] I'll have another drink, would you like another fish? (full quote)
4927 A) It's the PERFECT crime - girls don't wear ties! Although some do, it's not the perfect crime, but it's a good crime. B) Yes, if she'd have murdered the tie, it would have been the perfect crime. (full quote)
4927 (Name), I don't see any reason for prolonging this conversation...unless you're planning on knocking over a fruit stand later. [Turns to third person] good luck in prison. (full quote)
4927 She really is quite beautiful when the light hits her just right. Of course, you can't depend on that light. (full quote)
4927 He's taking the knife out of the cheese! Do you think he wants some cheese?! (full quote)
4927 A) Grow up (name), you'd make a fine adult. B) That's easy for you to say - you haven't got 50 pairs of short pants hanging in your closet! (full quote)
4927 A) I don't drink. I feel it affects your decision-making. B) You may be right - I can't decide. (full quote)
4927 A) Are you a father? B) Who, me?! No, I'm a drunk! (full quote)
10929 --I'm going to take a bath. --I'll alert the media. (full quote)
10929 Fool Me Again. (full quote)
10929 Poor Rich Boy. (full quote)
10929 It's only Love. (full quote)
33944 1/_Bitterman! Do you want to double your salary!? 2/_Yes sir! 1/_Then open that door! (full quote)
34986 my doctor has advised me that I must drink 10 of these an hour. (full quote)
36054 Linda: Wouldn't it be funny if he called me? (full quote)
36054 Arthur: what's that? Salesman: It's a fern. You need five. (full quote)
36054 Linda: Do you promise to love, honor, obey, and be a good boy? Arthur: I do. Do you promise never to put that stuff on my face? (full quote)
36054 Arthur: Hot bathes are wonderful.Hobbson: Yes, Arthur do your arm pits. Arhtur: Girls are WONDERFUL! Hobbson: Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be, get dressed. (full quote)
36054 Arhtur: Bitterman, I fell out of the gotdamn car! Bitterman, i fell out of the gotdamn car, isn't that the funniest thing ever! (full quote)
36054 Are these polish girls? (full quote)