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Sixteen Candles - 1984 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  'You're in the parking lot across the street from my Church.' ... 'You own a Church?' (full quote)
2946 My little brother paid a buck to see your underwear (full quote)
2946 (Holding up a jock strap) All right, whose is this? (full quote)
2946 Now we're both on the pill! (full quote)
2946 No more yankee my wankee, the donger need food! (full quote)
4049 You know, not many girls today would give their panties to help a geek in contemporary society. (full quote)
4049 whats happening hotstuff? (full quote)
4049 I bet you a big teaser huh? (full quote)
4049 Dong, where is my automobile? (full quote)
4049 Oh sexy giiiiiirl friend! (full quote)
4049 1:Dong,where is my a-u-t-o-m-o-b-i-l-e? (Reply) A-u-t-o-m-o-b-i-l-e . . . vrwwww . . . (splash) lake big lake (full quote)
4049 I can't believe my grandmother just felt me up (full quote)
4049 Sammy tell Grandpa not to wait up....Lets go Boogie! (full quote)
4049 I can't believe it, they fucking forgot my birthday! (full quote)
4049 Grandparents forgetting a birthday? They live for that shit! (full quote)
4049 Fran, she's gotten her boobies. Oh, and they are so perky! (full quote)
4049 I mean, I've had men love me before, but not for six months in a row! (full quote)
4049 Darling, is something bothering you? You're really acting like...an asshole. (full quote)
4049 I need a drink. (full quote)
4049 We don't want to announce to everyone that she's gotten her period! (full quote)
4049 Boy, do I feel funky! (full quote)
3378 what's happenin' hot stuff? (full quote)
1212 1)Did I do that to your hair? 2)At this point, anythings possible. (full quote)
3378 1) Tell me the story about why you're sad. 2) Do you think I'm sad? What makes you think that? 1) Your eyes told me. (full quote)
4505 Uhhh...No yanky my wanky! The Donger need food! (full quote)
  He's three sheets to the wind. (full quote)
  (Clap, Clap) Dong...this is your grandfather speaking... (full quote)
  Very clever dinner fit nicely in round pie (full quote)
  You don't spell it, you eat it (quiche) (full quote)
4715 1.Is Samantha home? 2.She go get married. 1.Married? 2.Married. (full quote)
4830 1) do you know samantha baker? 2) sophomore right? 1) Yeah would you ever think about going out w/ her? 2) depends on how much you paid me. (full quote)
5026 Nice manners babe!! (full quote)
4927 He was wearing red pants, an argyle sweater.... no, he's not retarded! (full quote)
  make a wish Sam. It already came true. (full quote)
4904 Happy birthday Samantha. (full quote)
4904 Jake Ryan! Jake's my man! (full quote)
4904 You know black and white would just capture the moment so nicely. (full quote)
4904 His name is Long Duck Dong. (full quote)
  1)shes not ugly. 2) theres nothin there. its not ugly. its just......void.1)i have independent study with her. i catch her looking at me a lot 2)......maybe shes retarted. (full quote)
1212 1)what do you think of her? 2)I don't. (full quote)
  They wouldn't have called it a crush if it was supposed to feel good (full quote)
  Fred, look! She's gotten her boobies! Oh, and they're so perky!!! (full quote)
  #1 Can I ask you a personal question? #2 Yes, you are a total fag! (full quote)
  1)jake, this is a rolls royce 2) so? 3) so? the tires alone cost five grand. do you have five grand? i don't have five grand! 4) just don't hit anything 5) aaaaaaahhhhhhhh don't hit anything. (full quote)
  I meant that it was okay that you did it once, not that you could do it again!! (full quote)
  oh sexy giiiiirrrrrlllfriend!!!!!! (full quote)
  games, Jake, silly tortuous games. (full quote)
  Helen we've got an owl out here in the hall......stop it Fred you'll make her tinkle (full quote)
  1)Don't be a smartass!! 2) OK....I'll be a dumbass! (full quote)
  Jake: Open up! Dong: No, No you beat up my face! Jake: You grabbed my balls. Dong: Oh, that you? Jake: Yeah, that me (full quote)
449 Have you ever touched it....i think so (full quote)
1212 I lothe the bus. (full quote)
1212 I don't want him to know I eat. (full quote)
1212 I think the power of the carrot is definately overrated. (full quote)
1212 Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself, its bad for your complexion! (full quote)
1212 1)She got her period, should make for an interesting honeymoon. 2)Where are you learning this stuff? 1)School. 2)Good. Gettin' my money's worth. (full quote)
1212 1)Knock knock. 2)Who's there? 1)Who. 2)Who Who? 1)Helen, we got an owl out here in the hall! (full quote)
1212 what are you bitching about? I gotta sleep under a Chinaman named after a duck's dork. (full quote)
1212 I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up. (full quote)
1212 Sofa city, sweetheart. (full quote)
1212 I mean, I've had men who've loved me before. But not for six months in a row. (full quote)
1212 1)Geek, can I be honest with you? 2)Not if you're gonna insult me. 1)Okay............... 2)Shoot. 1)Get the hell outa here! 2)Nice, nice manners, babe. (full quote)
1212 It's a very important dance, um, we're being graded on it. (full quote)
3605 She's got her period. Should be an interesting honeymoon, eh? (full quote)
3605 Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion! (full quote)
3605 I loathe the bus. There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation. (full quote)
3605 Relax, would you? We have fifty dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens. (full quote)
4119 1)where are we? 2)I'll tell you where we are, if you tell me who you are? 3)I'm Farmer Ted. (full quote)
4904 1. You know Samantha Baker? 2. Sophomore, right? 1. Yeah. What do you think of her? 2. I don't. 1. Would you ever go out with her? 1. Depends on how much you paid me. (full quote)
4904 The Donger's here for 5 hours and he has someone. I live here my whole life and I'm like a disease. (full quote)
4904 We're all upset Jenny's marrying a bohunk. (full quote)
4904 When it happens to you- it'll be for forever. (full quote)
5906 Jake, you never called us back. --Guys, I told you not to call me on this line! Jake we're dying! C'mon just tell us what happened. -- You want to know what happened? BUY THE BOOK! Jak!-(click, Jake hangs up) (full quote)
5967 Dong, Grandpa is talking to you (full quote)
5967 Dong, Grandpa is talking to you (full quote)
6034 No more yanking my wankie. The donger need sleep! (full quote)
6034 >That's me. >>Who are you? >I'm him. >>Oh. (full quote)
6161 1. Can I ask you a question? 2. Yes, you're a total fag. 3. That wasn't the question. (full quote)
6346 I'm totally serious asswipe! (full quote)
clarkins ...I've got Caroline upstairs, I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted. (full quote)
6783 1)..I know honey, we're all upset that Jenny's marrying a bo-hunk. (person #2 looks at person #1 in annoyance and leans back against the couch). 2)I ment Jake. 1) Jake? I thought she said his name was Rudy? (full quote)
7258 Dad, I didn't hit her. I would like to very much, and I probably will later, but give me a break- I wouldn't do it when you're right down the hall (full quote)
7258 -Hey, Dad- Jenny's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon! -Where do you learn this stuff? -School... -Good, I'm gettin my money's worth (full quote)
7258 Guess those guys who thought we had to get married feel pretty stupid right about now, eh, padre? (full quote)
7258 I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman. (full quote)
7258 -Quiche. How do you spell? -You don't spell it son! You eat it! (full quote)
7643 No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food! (full quote)
7686 This is the happiest day of my whole life. (full quote)
7906 Looks like rain, better put the top up! (full quote)
7973 They're grandparents, they live for that shit! (full quote)
7973 If my parents forgot my birthday I'd shit twice and die (full quote)
8042 Unbelievable! You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you! (full quote)
8042 I'm kinda like the king of dipshits. (full quote)
8487 Now we're both on the pill! (full quote)
8487 I can't beleive this! Donger is here for 5 hours and has someone. I've lived here all my life and i'm like a disease! (full quote)
Cosmic_Raider 1)An extra terestrial? 2)Better 1)Female extra terestrial? 2)Better 1)Better than a female extra terestrial? woah 3)How do you tell if it's female? 1)She has three breasts. (full quote)
8781 No more yanky my wanky, the Donger needs food (full quote)
8829 She's got her period. Should be an interesting honeymoon, eh? (full quote)
Splent I can't believe this! They fucking forgot my birthday! (full quote)
Splent You know, Ive never been out with a boy before. Oh, me neither. (full quote)
Splent HEYYYYYYYY!!!!! Come on in and party hearty!!!!!!!! *hic* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (full quote)
Splent *Um.. did ah... did we- *Yep. Pretty sure. *Did I like it. Wait. what am I talking about of course I liked it. what I meant to say was did you? *You know, for some strange reason I think I did. (full quote)
Splent -Very nice! We're here 5 minutes and - Im at a loss. -Real, smooth, Cliff. (full quote)
Splent HHHEEEEEEYYYYY!!!! Come on in and party hearty dude person! *hic* Heee heee haa haa!!! (full quote)
9929 #1-what's your last name? #2-Dong #1-what's your first name? #2-Long #1-what's your middle name? #2-Duck. (full quote)
11109 She's got her boobies.Look how big they are. (full quote)
11271 1) Yes, and pushing lawnmowing machine so Grandpa's heyna, don't get disturbed. 2) hernia! (full quote)
11289 I've lived in this town my whole life and i'm like the plague. 's been here one day and he has someone. (full quote)
11289 1. But i'm a dork. 2. You are NOT a dork. 1. Mike thinks i'm a dork. 2. Mike IS a dork. (full quote)
11515 You don't spell it, son. You EAT it! (full quote)
13336 *Who'd marry her? *Mr. T (full quote)
13364 well...hes wearing tan trousers, red shoes and a red argile sweater.......no hes not retarted! (full quote)
13807 Now I have somewhere to put my hand (full quote)
14479 she thinks your the cats meow. (full quote)
14479 she thinks your the cats meow! (full quote)
14617 GIRLS UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
14617 I love a chicks who wear hats its so vouge!! (full quote)
14740 P1: I've got one for you. Knock knock. P2: Who's there. P1: Who P2: Who who. P1: Helen, we've got an owl out here in the hall! (full quote)
14740 Fred, she's gotten her boobies. Oh, let me get my magnifying glass. (full quote)
14740 P1: Yeah, she at a church. She gettin married. P2: Married? P1: Yeah. To oily American beau hunk. (full quote)
  1)where the hell am i? 2)i'll tell you where you are if u tell me who you are. 1)i'm farmer ted. 2)you in the parking lot acroos the street from my church. 1)you own a church!!! (full quote)
  Fred, she's gotten her boobies. (full quote)
  I want something more. I want someone to love who'll love me back. Is that psycho? (full quote)
  I CAN'T BELEIVE I GAVE MY PANTIES TO A GEEK (full quote)
  Who's he? That's me. Who are you? I'm him (full quote)
  Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie. (full quote)
  Would you take those RIDICULOUS things off?! (full quote)
  Thanks for loaning me the donger (full quote)
  I've never bagged a babe. (full quote)
  I'm a boy, you're a girl, is there anything wrong with me trying to put together some sort of a relationship? (full quote)
  TED: You wanna know one of my secrets. SAM: Don't gross me out. (full quote)
  You make someone a bridesmaid, and they shit all over you. (full quote)
  nanananananana YOU SA ITS UR BIRTHDAY... nanananananana ITS MY BIRTHDAY 2! (full quote)
  OK Jake what happens if I dick you I'll kick YOUR ass ! (full quote)
  I never been so appy in my whole life! (full quote)
  Fresh breath is a priority in my life. (full quote)
  Dong... Dong.... Grandpa is talking to you! (full quote)
  yah well.. You better burn the shirts when he leaves (full quote)
  Life is not whatnot, and it's none of your business (full quote)
  All you need to make a great birthday is a pink car and a great guy.Black.A black guy?!?! No a black car, a pink guy. (full quote)
  How you spell quiche? Well you don't spell it son, you eat it! (full quote)
  Samantha: Thanks for getting my undies back. Jake: Thanks for coming over. Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me. Jake: Happy Birthday Samantha, make a wish. Samantha: It already came true. (full quote)
  its extremely embarassing, what's embarassing sitting in the dark telling your dad about your love life. (full quote)
  Cliff:Oh yeah? I bet you a dozen floppy disks you don't get tit. Geek: You got a bet scumbag, get it all. (full quote)
  I hope whoever got the note doesn't know it's me who wrote it. I'd shit twice and die. (full quote)
  Bryce: Oh shit, Ted, that’s my mom. I gotta get home. Geek: Change your frequency, okay, don’t be such a wimp. (full quote)
  easy for you to say, you don't have to sleep under a guy named after a duck's dork! (full quote)
  Everything’s getting shittier. My family forgetting my birthday just makes it more vivid. (full quote)
  Jake)She come here with you. Geek) No, but if its ok with my dad shes going home with me. (full quote)
  do you know what that could do to a guy like me (full quote)
  Quit feeling sorry for yourself. It's bad for your cmplexion! (full quote)
  no more yanky my wanky the donger need food (full quote)
  1)Hello? 2)Eat me. [Hangs up phone.] 3)What did he want? 4)Sex... (full quote)
  Lake,Big Lake (full quote)
  Unbelieveable... you make someone a bridesmaid and they SHIT all over you... (full quote)
  score. A direct hit. (full quote)
  Uh-huh.. nnnnnYA! (full quote)
  what the hell you bitchin' about?? I have to sleep under a chinamen named after a duck's dork!! (full quote)
  Yeah but I'm sort of like their leader, ya know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits... (full quote)
  Jake: Its kinda cool the way shes always lookin at me... Friend: Maybe shes retarded. (full quote)
  its small.. its brown.. it has my initials on it... (full quote)
  Whas hoppenin' howtstuff? (full quote)
  I LOATHE the bus (full quote)
  I'd shit twice and die! (full quote)
  Fresh breath has always been a priority in my life (full quote)
  It's not you own a church? It's you go to church? (full quote)
  what are the hell are you shittin' about? I'm the one who has to sleep under a guy named after a ducks dong. (full quote)
  Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's bad for you're complexion (full quote)
  I want a serious girlfriend. SomebodyI can love, who's gunna love me back. Is that psycho? (full quote)
  Who's he? -Carolyn Thats me. -Jake Who are you?-Carolyn I'm him. -Jake Oh, okay. -Carolyn (full quote)
  Now we're both on the pill. hahaha... You gave me a birth control pill. Do you have any idea what that'll do to a guy my age?! I know exactly what it will do to a girl my age. It makes it okay to be really, super careless. (full quote)
  Hunny, we've got an owl out here in the hall (full quote)
  Farmer Ted- Can you answer me one question? Samantha- Yes, you're a total fag Farmer Ted- Heh that's not the question. (full quote)
  what's happening hot stuff? (full quote)
  i can't believe my own grandmother felt me up (full quote)
  She's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon eh? (full quote)
  Hey Birth Defect! (full quote)
  No more yanky my wanky. The donger needs food! (full quote)
  1. I don't do that! 2. Yes, you do. 1. I know.. (full quote)
  1.) Bite me 2.) what did they want? 3.) SEX! (full quote)
  FATHER: Jenny,Mike,Sarah,Sam, Come on,everybody up. We've got relatives invading this afternoon. SON: I think I've got a fever. DAUGHTER: You don't have a fever. SON: Shut your face! DAUGHTER: make me! Dad, Mike hit me!!!! (full quote)
  Waaa- Laaaa...... Breakfast is ready (as grandma holds a cigarette in one hand with the ash 3/4 in length!) (full quote)
  -Did she come with you? -No, but if it's okay with my dad,shes coming home with me. (full quote)
  jake: you better not be dickin me, itd be a real bummer to try and get together with this girl and find out she really thinks i'm a slime Ted: jake, would i dick you? lemme put it to you this way....what happens to me if i dick you? Jake: I'd kick your ass (full quote)
  No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food. (full quote)
  dong: (screams)you beat up my face ! jake: you grabbed my nuts! dong: i though you were my new style american girlfriend. (full quote)
  Ha, Ha, Ha, he's three sheets to the wind! He's as drunk as a skunk!! (full quote)
  Let's just call the whole thing off, I don't know if I can handle that kind of rejection (full quote)
  i'd shit twice then die! (full quote)
  It's gonna be a piece of cake, Bren! (full quote)
  I'm just not a stud. (full quote)
  Dong has only been in our country a short time Fred, I think we could all help him to Assimilate. (full quote)
  1-So, what's your name? 2-Dong. 1-what's your first name? 2-Long. 1-what's your middle name? 3-Duck. (full quote)
  1-So, what's your name? 2-Dong. 1-what's your first name? 2-Long. 1-what's your middle name? 2-Duck. (full quote)
  1-I've never been so happy in my whole life 2-Maniac 1-Now I have a place to put my hand (full quote)
  Donger's been here for a few hours and he's got somebody, I've lived here my whole life and I'm like a disease. (full quote)
  1-I mean you could come back next fall and be a completely normal person. 2-Yeah? 1-Yeah. (full quote)
  where the hell am I? I'll tell you where you are if you tell me who you are. I'm Farmer Ted. You're in the parking lot across the street from my church. You own a church? (full quote)
  Oh sexy girlfriend!! (full quote)
  so do you wanna make out (full quote)
  You don't spell it son, you eat it. (full quote)
  I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek. (full quote)
  automobile? (full quote)
  I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek! (full quote)
4927 No more yankie my wankie - the Donger need food! (full quote)
4927 You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you! (full quote)
4927 A) I bet boys chase you 'round plenty. B) No one's caught me yet. (full quote)
4927 Stop feeling sorry for yourself - it's bad for your complexion!! (full quote)
4927 A) Food fit neatly into round pie. B) It's called a quiche. A) How you spell? C) You don't spell it son, you eat it. (full quote)
4927 A) I help Grandpa push lawn mowing machine so he don't hurt his hyena. B) HERR-NIA! (full quote)
4927 A) Just as long as this one knows, now that he's getting married, he's out of the girl-of-the-month club. B) what?...I can look, I just can't touch. (full quote)
4927 A) (Name), where is my car? B) Lake. Big lake! (full quote)
4927 A) (Name), where is my car? B) Lake. Big lake! (full quote)
Splent Question: Have you ever touched it? Person writing: Almost (full quote)
14740 1) I love visiting with Grandma, and Grandpa, and pushin lawn-a-mowing machine so grandpa's hiheena don't get disturbed. 2) hernia! (full quote)
14740 P1: what are you complaining about, I have to sleep under a duck's dork. P2: Then where am I sleeping? P1: Sofa city, sweetheart. (full quote)
14802 Oh sexy GIRL--Friend!!!! (full quote)
15264 1. what the hell are you bitching about? I gotta sleep under a chinaman named after a duck's dork. 2. Where am I sleeping? 1. Sofa city, sweetheart. (full quote)
15446 1.how would we know the difference between a male extra terestrial from a female extra terestrial? 2. easy, the female would have 4 tits. (full quote)
15911 Donger needs food (as he falls out of tree in front yard) (full quote)
16086 No he's not retarted! (full quote)
16093 I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row. (full quote)
19496 (1)He's a senior and he's taken..I mean REALLY taken (2)I know he's supposed to be my ideal.. (full quote)
20811 Jaaaaaaake!!! (full quote)
20811 damn mom I got my head gear on (full quote)
21622 No more yanky my wanky- the Donger need food! (full quote)
HeiressOfSlytherin what the hell are you bitching about? I've got to sleep under some chinaman named after a duck's dork! (full quote)
24351 yeah, well she's only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts! (full quote)
24351 jenny, mike, sara, sam!! come on everybody up! (full quote)
24351 i think i have a fever. you don't have a fever! dad, mike hit me! (full quote)
24351 jakey, have you stopped loving me??? LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! (full quote)
1ajas (1)Geek, can I be honest with you? (2)Not if you're gonna insult me. (full quote)
1ajas I can't believe I just gave my panties to the Geek! (full quote)
1ajas I can't believe my grandmother felt me up! (full quote)
1ajas Was' happenin', hotstuff? (full quote)
1ajas I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up. (full quote)
Pinky Jake: She looked at me like I was a leper. (full quote)
Pinky Farmer Ted: A: Don't hit me. Secondly: what kind of proof do you want? (full quote)
27589 what the hell are you bitching about, I have to sleep under a china man named after a ducks dork! (full quote)
27589 oh, fred look honey she's gotten her boobies...wait! let me go get my magnifying glass! (full quote)
27589 Heeeyyyyy!!!!! Come on in and a Pardee hardee...duude person! (full quote)
28410 #1 what's your first name? #2 Long #1 what's your last name? #2 Dong... #1 what's your middle name? #2 Duck (full quote)
JenniferJayde That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else. (full quote)
FLaMiNGo Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes? (full quote)
29257 Black A black guy? No a black corvette...a pink guy. (full quote)
29257 Do you have to go to a reception now? Yes. Can I call you? No. I can't call you? No. I mean I'm not going to the reception. (full quote)
29272 I wanna do it on a cloud with out getting pregnant...or herpes (full quote)
Trinity7 She's only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts! (full quote)
Trinity7 I hope whoever got the note didn't know I wrote it. I'd shit twice and die. (full quote)
32925 lake, big lake.... (full quote)
34988 She's totally serious, asswipe (full quote)
34988 You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile. Go to hell. VERY hostile! (full quote)
36487 You need four inches of bod and a great birthday. (full quote)
36487 I can't believe they fucking forgot my birthday (full quote)
36487 I'd shit twice and die. (full quote)
36487 score...a direct hit. (full quote)
36487 Yes 3 big ones and they lust wimp blood. So quit bugging me, or I'll sic then all overyour weenie ass. (full quote)
36487 I can't believe my grandmother felt me up. (full quote)
36487 I have a dance to go to at school. It's a very important dance. Uh, we're being graded on it...for gym. (full quote)
36487 Just trying to get a little water (full quote)
36487 I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek. (full quote)
36487 Now we're both on the pill (full quote)
36487 Hey Howard, there's your Chinaman. (full quote)
36487 Hell, he's three sheets to the wind (full quote)
36487 He's drunk as a skunk! (full quote)
36487 Wow, do I feel funky. (full quote)
36487 Wow, do I feel funky. (full quote)
36487 Oh, I need a drink. (full quote)
38042 Underpants,......Girl's underpants (full quote)
40504 my brother paid a dollar to see your underwear (full quote)
44895 #1; Dat you? 2: Yeah, that me. (full quote)
airhead_rin -Who is that? -That's Me. -Who are you? -I'm him. -Oh. (full quote)
kpelling01 I know. It just hurts. That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else. (full quote)
snel27 Can i borrow your underpants for 10 minutes? (full quote)
caquinn2 Lake.....big lake. (full quote)
caquinn2 (A) Hey Howard, there's your chinaman. (B) Oh thanks Fred. (full quote)
caquinn2 (A) Who's he? (B) That's me. (A) Who are you? (B) I'm him. (full quote)
caquinn2 I bet all the boys chase you plenty in this school, huh? (full quote)
caquinn2 Just remember one thing. I can name 20 guys who would kill to love me. (full quote)
caquinn2 So would it be possible for you to tell me if there is a Samantha Baker there. And if so sir, may I converse with her briefly? (full quote)