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Breakfast Club, The - 1985 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  That man... is a brownie hound. (full quote)
  young man, have you finished your paper? (full quote)
2946 Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
2946 That man is a brownie hound (full quote)
3505 Stoopid, worthless, no good god damn freeloading son of a bitch, retarded bigmouth know-it-all asshole jerk....you forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful--SHUTUP BITCH! Go fetch me a turkey pot pie! (full quote)
  screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place (full quote)
3505 Hey...Cherry...DO YOU belong to the physics club? (full quote)
3505 So it's sort of social - dimented and sad - but social, right? (full quote)
  Do you slip her the hot beef injection (full quote)
3820 You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you. (full quote)
3820 your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling. (full quote)
3820 your intensity is for shit,WIN,WIN,WIN!! (full quote)
3820 Some I consider my girlfriends, some I just consider. (full quote)
3820 Excuse me Sir, why would anybody want to steal a screw? (full quote)
3820 You wouldn't know anything about it faggot, you've never competed in your whole life. (full quote)
3505 Show Dick some respect! (full quote)
3225 1) Did your mother marry Mr. Rogers 2) No, Mr. Johnson (full quote)
4066 Carl, how does one become a janitor (full quote)
agwendolyn You keep eatin' your hand, and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch. (full quote)
4242 what about you dad? FUCK YOU!!! (full quote)
4273 does barry manilo know you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
agwendolyn 1) So? 2) So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. 1) Ah, but to dorks like him, they are. -- what do you guys do in your club? 3) In Physics club we talk about physics, properties of physics. 1) So it's sorta social. DEMENTED and SAD, bust social, right? 3) Yeah, I guess you could consider it a social situation. I mean, there are other children in my club. (full quote)
agwendolyn Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language. (full quote)
agwendolyn You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're gonna eat THAT? (full quote)
4318 Show Dick some respect. (full quote)
4349 You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity? (full quote)
4349 Screws just fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place. (full quote)
4349 Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities (full quote)
4349 Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs (full quote)
4349 So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right? (full quote)
4349 Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection? (full quote)
4349 Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
4349 Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right? (full quote)
4349 I never did it either. I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar. (full quote)
4349 I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need, is a lobotomy and some tights. (full quote)
4349 1)You get along with your parents? 2)Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right? 1)You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too. (full quote)
4349 You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. (full quote)
  claire? your name is claire? (its a family name) its a fat girl's name (oh gee thanks) youre welcome (im not fat) no but i can see that you are really pushing maximum density here. you see there are two kinds of fat people, people who were born fat and will always be fat and fat people who were once skiny and then became fat. you see youll get married and squeeze out a few puppies and then bluhhhmm bluhhmm. (full quote)
  Two hits: me hittin' you, you hittin' the floor. (full quote)
4464 chicks cant hold they smoke, dats what it is. (full quote)
  it was a flare gun. it went off in my locker...shut up, it's not funny...yea I guess it is...the fucking elephant was destroyed! (full quote)
  Now the next time i have to come in here, i'm cracking skulls (full quote)
  You are a neo-maxi zoom dweebie. (full quote)
  Show Dick some respect! (full quote)
  1)It wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes.. now would it? 2) Well you wouldn't know, you don't even any of us 1) Well I don't know any lepers either but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fuckin' clubs (full quote)
  1)It wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes.. now would it? 2) Well you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us 1) Well I don't know any lepers either but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fuckin' clubs (full quote)
  Well Brian just told me that you and he are presently riding the hobby horse (full quote)
  Do you always carry this much shit in your bag (full quote)
  1) You're an idiot. 2) I'm an idiot because I can't make a lamp? 1) No, you're a GENIUS because you can't make a lamp. (full quote)
  a naked blond walks in to a bar with a poodle under one are and a two foot salami under the other she puts the dog on the table and the bar tender says i suppose u wont be needing a drink. The naked blond says OH SHIT (full quote)
  who are you? I'm a walrus. (full quote)
  who are you? I'm a walrus. (full quote)
evilroy Will milk be made available to us? (full quote)
3594 Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you wanna see us. In the simplest terms, the most convenient definitions, of what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club (full quote)
3594 Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you wanna see us. In the simplest terms, the most convenient definitions, of what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club (full quote)
3594 Vernon: what was that ruckus?! Andrew: Uh, what ruckus? Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus. Brian: Could you describe the ruckus, sir? (full quote)
4509 A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other she lays the poodle on the bar and the bartender says, so i guess you won't be needing a drink with that. Naked lady say....oh shit!!!!!!!! (full quote)
4531 I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts. (full quote)
4531 1: What if your home... what if your family... what if your *dope* was on fire? 2: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear. (full quote)
4531 1: what do you need a fake I.D. for? 2: So I can vote! (full quote)
4715 your middle name is Ralph, as in puke. (full quote)
Wizard See this? About the size of a cigar. This is what you get at my house when you spill paint in the garage. Do I stutter? (full quote)
4830 Oh by the way- that clock's 20 minutes fast. (full quote)
4830 My home life is un-satis-fying. (full quote)
4904 you couldn't ignore me if you tried. (full quote)
4904 Better stop eatin' your hand or you won't be hungry for lunch. (full quote)
4904 Why would anyone want to steal a screw, Sir? (full quote)
4904 The world's an imperfect place, sir. Screws fall out all the time. (full quote)
4904 That man is a brownie hound. (full quote)
4904 1.You are such a fucking idiot. 2. I'm an idiot because I don't know how to make a lamp? 1. No. You're a genius because you don't know how to make a lamp. (full quote)
4921 I wanna be just like you...all I need is a lobotomy and some tights. (full quote)
4927 Shut up Peewee! (full quote)
4943 So, it's sorta social.. demented and sad, but social, right? (full quote)
4943 When you grow up, your heart dies. (full quote)
4943 1. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? 2. Uh, no. Mr. Johnson. (full quote)
4943 Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor. (full quote)
4943 Does Barry Manilow know you raided his closet? (full quote)
5073 Dick, excuse me, Rich, will mike be made availble to us? (full quote)
5102 1)Were you totally disgusted by what I did with my lipstick? 2)Truth? *nods* No. (full quote)
5102 Do I stutter? (full quote)
5172 You're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. what would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen? (full quote)
disue5 You want to know what I did to get detention? Nothing...I didn't have anything better to do. (full quote)
disue5 Hey Sporto! what did you do to get detention? Forget to wash your jock? You're the guy who taped Larry's buns together? (full quote)
disue5 Dear Mr. Vernon. We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong but we think you're crazy making us write this essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us..in the simplest terms..you see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket-case, a princess and a criminal. (full quote)
5326 Well did you know that without physics there would be no engineering?......without lamps ther'd be no light! (full quote)
5570 Claire....anwser the question claire (full quote)
5579 Why does Andrew get to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy! (full quote)
5579 Yeah well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs. (full quote)
5644 You're not blazing up in here wasteoid! (full quote)
5668 Don't ever talk about my friends, you don't know any of my friends, you don't look at any of my friends, and you certainly wouldn't condesend to speak with any of my friends. Just stick to the things you know; shopping, nail polish, your dad's BMW, and your poor rich drunk mother in the Carribean. And as for worrying about what will happen when we walk through the hallways of school together you can forget it, cuz its never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand, and waiting for your fucking prom! (full quote)
5862 your not blazing up in here wasteoid (full quote)
6034 Show Dick some respect! (full quote)
6034 Screws fall out all the time sir. The world's an imperfect place. (full quote)
6034 Impossible sir, it's in Johnson's underwear. (full quote)
6096 1) You wear tights? 2) I wear the required uniform. 1) Tights. (full quote)
6096 1)Theres nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy. 2)Well, speak for yourself. 1)Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language. (full quote)
6096 1) Are your parents aware of this? 2)The only person I told was my shrink. 3)And what did he do when you told him? 2) He nailed me. 4)Very nice. 2)I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did could be construde as rape since I paid him. (full quote)
6096 1)Ugh! Do you have any idea how completely gross that is? 2)Well the forst few times- 1)First few times? You mean you did it more than once? 2)Sure. 1)Are you crazy? 3)Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink. (full quote)
6120 Well Bryan it doesn't sound like you're doing any business (full quote)
6200 PB and J with the ends cut off (full quote)
6200 Have I made myself clear? CHRYSTAL! (full quote)
6322 Do you always carry this much shit in your bag? (full quote)
6322 Brian was just telling me that you and he are presently riding the hobby horse (full quote)
6708 Well along with the numerous girls in the Niagra falls area, Brian has just informed me that you and him are riding the hobby horse. (full quote)
6784 I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not going join any of their fucking clubs. (full quote)
6884 look, i can see u getting all bunged up for them making u wear those clothes, but face it, ur a neo-maxi-zoom dweebie. what would u be doing if u werent out making urself a better citizen? (full quote)
6934 (Bender) Son? Yeah dad? How's your day pal? Great dad, how's yours? Super. Say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend? Great dad...but I've got homework to do. That's alright. You can do it on the boat. Gee... thanks dad. Dear, isn't our son swell? Yes dear, isn't life swell? Oh...*kiss* Oh...*kiss* *punch* (full quote)
6934 Claire: Can I eat? Bender: I don't know...give it a try. (full quote)
6934 (Brian) You wear tights? (Andrew) No, I wear the required uniform. (full quote)
6934 (Vernon) Don't mess with the bull young man...you'll get the horns. (full quote)
6934 (Bender) Hey how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up we'll all get up. It'll be ANARCHY! (full quote)
6934 Bender: That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would not be wise at this junction of your career. (full quote)
6934 Andrew: what's up? Ok...what's your poison? what do you like to drink? Allison: VODKA! Andrew: When do you drink vodka? Allison: Whenever! (full quote)
7353 Don't you ever talk about my friends! You don't know any of my friends. You don't look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends. So you just stick to the things you know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean. (full quote)
7353 And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways of school together, you can forget it cuz it's never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your fucking prom. (full quote)
7475 I expect you to use the time to your advantage. Mom, were not suppose to study we're just suppose to sit there. Well, Mister, you get in there and you find a way to study! (full quote)
7478 Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
7601 1) Did your mother marry Mr. Rogers? 2)No, Mr. Johnson. (full quote)
7678 This is my impression of a day at big Bri's house. Son!? Yea, dad? How was your day? Great, dad! How was yours? Super! Say, son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?! Great, dad! But, I've got homework to do. Thats ok, son, you can do it on the boat! Gee! Honey, isn't our son swell? Yes dear, isn't life swell? (full quote)
7973 Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
  Do you want me to puke? (full quote)
  1)are all of these your girlfriends? 2)some i concider my girlfriends and others i just concider 1)concider what? 2)whether or not i wanna hang out with them (full quote)
  1)why do you have so much shit in your purse? 2)why do you have do many girlfriends? 1)i asked you first? 2)i dunno i guess i never throw anything out 1)me neither 2)ohh (full quote)
  1)what is that? 2)sushi? 1)you wont accept a guys tounge in your mouth but you're gunna eat that 2)can i just eat my lunch 1)i dunno try (full quote)
  1: Is this the first time or the last time we do this? 2:Last 1:Well, get in there and use this time to your advantage 2:Mom, we're not supposed to study, we just have to sit there and do nothing. 2: well, mister, you figure out a way to study 3:yeah 2:well go! (full quote)
  what's that? Sushi. Sushi? Heh, rice, rawfish, and seaweed. You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're gonna eat that? Can I eat? I don't know...give it a try. (full quote)
  face it; you're a Neo-maxi zoom dweebie. (full quote)
  son! how's your day? (full quote)
  son! how's your day? great dad how's yours. great! say son, you wanna go fising this weekend? id love to dad but i got homework to do. thats alright son you can do it on the boat.gee (full quote)
  it was a flare gun! (full quote)
  SHUT YOR HOLE, WANG CHUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  Stupid, worthless, no good, god damn, freeloading son-of-a-bitch...You forgot lazy, stupid, and disrespectful...Shutup Bitch and make me a turkey pot pie...What about you, Dad? FUCK YOU!! No, Dad, what about you? FUCK YOU!!!! NO, DAD, WHAT ABOUT YOU? (full quote)
  (Dick)I'll be there....I'll be there and I'm going to knock your dick in the dirt. (full quote)
  Just as I thought...you're a gutless turd! (full quote)
  (1)what's your poison? (2) Vodka....(1)you drink vodka?? when? (2)whenever...(1)lots? (2) tons! (full quote)
  what was that ruccus? what ruccus? I was just in my office and i heard a ruccus. Could you describe the ruccus for me, Sir? (full quote)
  i am the eyes and ears of the institution (full quote)
  And when I say essay, I don't mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear Mr. Bender? (full quote)
  He'll get up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!!! (full quote)
  could you describe the ruckus? (full quote)
  I DON'T THINK I HAVE TO SIT WITH YOU FUCKING DILDOS ANY more (full quote)
  Chicks cannot hold their smoke that is what it is..... (full quote)
  Do you know how popular I am at this school? I am sooo popular!! (full quote)
  B-O-O H-O-O (full quote)
  John: Oh, but I do. I want to be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights. Brian: You wear tights? Andy: No, I don't wear tights, I wear the required uniform. Brian: Tights. Andy: Shut up. (full quote)
  Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely Yours, the Breakfast Club. (full quote)
  You see us as you wanna see us, in the simplest terms and in the most convenient definitions. (full quote)
  Grab some wood there bud. Do you think I was born yesterday? (full quote)
  You can count! I knew you had to be smart to be...a wrestler. (full quote)
  Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birthdate's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913. Wow! Are you psychic? No. Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me? I stole your wallet. (full quote)
  Is this lound enough or would you like me to turn it up? (full quote)
  Andrew: Oh let's face it; you don't have any goals. Bender: Oh but i do. Andrew: Yea? Bender: I want to be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights! Brian: You wear tights? Andrew: No I don't wear tights; I wear the required uniform. Brian: Tights... Andrew: Shut up! (full quote)
  if Andrew get up, we'll get up it 'll be anarchy.. (full quote)
  next time i come in here i'm cracking skulls (full quote)
  You're a neo-maxie-zoom-dweebie. (full quote)
  1-I'm not fat. 2-Well, not at present, but I can see you're really pushing maximum density (full quote)
  hey how come andrew gets to get up? if he gets up.....we'll all get up!! it'll be anarchy! it's outa my hands (full quote)
  hey how come andrew gets to get up? if he gets up.....we'll all get up!! it'll be anarchy! it's outa my hands (full quote)
  It was kinda weird because my mom doesn't like me wearing other peoples shoes... (full quote)
  How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up... it'll be ANARCHY! (full quote)
  Can you describe the ruckus? (full quote)
  SCREWS FALL OUT ALL THE TIME THE WORLDS AN UNPERFECT PLACE (full quote)
  That's the last time bender you make me look bad in front of those kids, I make $31 000 a year and I have a home and I'm not going to throw it away on some punk like you but some day when your out of here and they forgotten about you and your caught up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there and I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you man, I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt! (full quote)
  We're all pretty bizarre, it's just that some people are better at hiding it. (full quote)
  i had to wear my dad's shoes see my mom doesnt like me wearing other peoples shoes one time my cousin he smoked pot and then he started eating all this wierd food and no one talked to him anymore it was kinda like the twilight zone.. (full quote)
  did your dad marry Mr. Rodgers? No, Mr. Johnson... (full quote)
  Being bad feels pretty good, eh? (full quote)
  you got so much black shit under your eyes. 2) I like that black shit (full quote)
  did your mom mrry Mr. Rodgers? 2)uh, No, Mr.Johnson (full quote)
  did your mom marry Mr. Rodgers? 2)uh, No, Mr.Johnson (full quote)
  1) Son! 2) Yeah dad? 1) how's your day pal? 2) Great dad! 1) son, how'd ya like to go fishing this weekend? 2) Great dad!, aww but iv'e got homework to do.1)that's ok son, you can do it on the boat! gee, isn't our sone swell? 3)yes, isn't life swell? (full quote)
  See...chicks can't hold there smoke...that's what is is. (full quote)
  Andy- Yeah well, you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot! You've never competed for anything in your whole life. Bender (laughs)- Ah, I know, and I feel all empty inside because of it, I have such a DEEP ADMIRATION for guys who roll around on the floor with other guys, (full quote)
  Bender: Ooh, and wouldn't that be a bite, huh? Oo, missin' a whole wrestling meet.. Andy: Yeah, well, you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot! You've never competed for anything in your whole life. Bender (laughs): Ahh, I know, and I'm all empty inside because of it, I have such a DEEP ADMIRATION for guys who roll around on the floor with other guys. (full quote)
peridot73 I can't believe you can't get me out of this. I mean it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm a defective or anything. (full quote)
peridot73 I don't have it...screws fall out all of the time, the world's an imperfect place... (full quote)
Paul_Lvr_18 Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
7643 screws fall out all the time (full quote)
8060 That girl is an island to herself... (full quote)
8217 (Bender): Carl? (Carl): What? (Bender): How does one become a janitor? (Carl): You wanna be a janitor? (Bender): No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts. (Carl): You guys think I'm some kind of peasant to pee on? Maybe so. But following around after shitheads like you for the last 13 years I've learned a couple of things. I look through your letters, I look through your lockers, I listen to your conversations....you don't know that but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends. By the way that clock's 30 minutes fast.(Brian): Shit! (full quote)
8217 (Bender): Hey......Cherry.....do YOU belong to the physics club? (Claire): That's an academic club! (Bender): So? (Claire): So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. (Bender): Ah, but to dorks like him....they are! (full quote)
8217 Saturday...March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois. 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon...We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong. What we did WAS wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us...in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal.Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning.We were brainwashed. (full quote)
8217 Hey, I screwed around...guys screw around, there's nothing wrong with that. Except you got caught, Sport. (full quote)
8217 Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake.I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here... (full quote)
8217 Well not at present but I could see you really pushing maximum density! You see, I'm not sure if you know this...but there are two kinds of fat people. There's fat people that were born to be fat, and then there's fat people that were once thin but they became fat...so when you look at them you can sorta see that thin person inside! You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then,uh... (full quote)
8217 Dad: Hey son,how was your day today? Son: great,dad,how was yours? Dad:Super!Say son, how would you like to go fishing this weekend? Son:great,dad! But I have homework! Dad:That's OK son, you can do it on the boat! Son:GEE!!!! Dad:Isn't our son,swell? Mom:Yes,dear; isn't life swell? Dad: Yes,dear. (full quote)
8217 When you grow up, your heart dies. (full quote)
8248 why are you being so nice to me ~be cause your letting me (full quote)
8273 Two hits, me hittin you, you hittin the floor (full quote)
olivia_ramirez EAT... MY... SHORTS! (full quote)
8879 It's in Brian's underpants, sir. (full quote)
8937 Can you hear this? (the finger, pointing down)You want me to turn it up? (full quote)
9006 Vernon:Well, well here we are. I want to congratulate you for being on time. Claire:Excuse ms, sir, I think there's been a mistake. I know this is detention but I don't think I belong in HERE. Vernon:It is now 7:06, you have exactly 8 hours and 54 minutes to think about why you're here, ponder the error of your ways. You may not talk, youwill not move from these seats. And you...you will not sleep. Alright, people, we are going to try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay, no less than a thousand words describing to me who you think you are. Bender:Is this a test? Vernon:And when I say essay, I mean essay, I do not mean a single word repeated 1000 times. Is that clear, Mr. Bender? Bender:Crystal. Vernon:Good. Maybe you'll learn alittle something about yoyrself, maybe you'll decide whether you care to return. Brian:I can answer that now, sir, that'd be no, no for me, sir ca... Vernon:Sit down, Mr. Johnson. Brian:Yes, sir. (full quote)
9006 ~ah, shit! what are we supposed to do if we have to take a piss? you gotta go, you gotta go. ~oh my god. ~hey, you're not urinated in here, man. ~don't talk, don't talk, it makes it crawl back up. ~you whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor. ~you're pretty sexy when you get angry. grrr (full quote)
9006 Bender:what do you say we close that door? we can't have any kind of party with Vernon checkin us out every 2 seconds (full quote)
9006 Excuse me a sec...what are you blabbin about? (full quote)
9025 So, are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? C'mon sporto level with me... do you slip her the hot beef injection? (full quote)
10004 Well, if you say you haven't done it, you're a prude, if you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to, but you can't, and when you do, you wish you didn't. (full quote)
10140 (1) You have problems (2) Oh, I have problems! (1) YOU DO EVERYHTING EVERYONE TELL YOU TO DO AND THAT IS A PROBLEM. (2) OK fine, but I didn't dump my purse out on the couch and invite everyone into my problems. (full quote)
10498 You dont know any of my friends, you dont talk to any of my friends, and you dare not consort with any of my friends. Forget it its never gonna happen. So bury your head in the sand and wait for your fucking prom. (full quote)
pagese Why would I speak for you. I don't even know your language. (full quote)
10641 Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? If you went on a date with him you'd probably have to ride in the back seat because his nuts would ride shotgun. (full quote)
11007 yeah i wanna be just like you. i figure all i need is a labotamy and some tights (full quote)
11007 come on sporto level with me.. did u give her the hot beef injection (full quote)
11007 come on sporto level with me.. did u give her the hot beef injection (full quote)
11007 (1) are there any questions (2) yeah, does barry manalow know you raid his closet (full quote)
11007 (1) are there any questions (2) yeah, does barry manalow know you raid his closet (full quote)
11007 i got you for the rest of your natural born life, instead of going to prison you'll come here (full quote)
11007 well i dont know any lepers but i'm not about to join one of their fuckin clubs (full quote)
11007 (1) whats ur name (2)Claire (1)CLAIRE?? (2)yes Clair its a family name (1) nah that a fat girls name (full quote)
11353 NO, I NEVER DID IT! (full quote)
11353 See this, it's about the size of a cigar, DO I STUTTER?!? This is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage. See I don't think that I need to sit with you fucking dilldos anymore. (full quote)
11353 Brian:You were tights? Andrew:No, I wear the required uniform. ANdrew:Tights. Andrew:Shut up! (full quote)
11538 (Dick)Grab some wood there, bub. (full quote)
12076 Forgot my pen. (full quote)
12076 1) Claire, it's a family name 2) no, it's a fat girl name. (full quote)
12153 andrew: my god, are we gonna be like our parents? claire:not me...ever... allison:it's unavoidable, it just happens claire:what happens? allison:when you grow up, your heart dies. (full quote)
12563 It'll be Anarchy!!!! (full quote)
13156 He'll get up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!! (full quote)
13252 Screws fall out all the time, sir. The world's an imperfect place. (full quote)
13252 Hey! How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up! It'll be anarchy! (full quote)
13366 what's your name? Claire. Ka-clair? Yeah..it's a family name. No...it's a fat girl's name. (full quote)
13366 Here's my impression of life at big Bri's house Son? Yeah Dad? How was your day,pal? Great Dad, how's yours? Super! Say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend? Great Dad, but i've got homework to do. That's alright son...you can do it on the boat! Dear isn't our son swell? Yes, dear, isn't life swell? (full quote)
13412 Dork, your a parents wet dream (full quote)
13556 Bender: You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capasity. (full quote)
13701 Smoke Up Johnnie!! (full quote)
13715 Screws fall out all the time. The world's an imperfect place. (full quote)
13748 excuse me, what are you babbling about? (full quote)
14319 YOU ARE A BITCH!!!! (full quote)
15362 I'm thinkin of trying out for a scholarsheeeeeup! (full quote)
15362 You make book on that missy. (full quote)
15362 You're right....it's wrong to destroy literature.....it's such fun to read. (full quote)
17692 Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up . . . we'll all get up . . . it'll be anarchy! (full quote)
17768 C'mon Sporto, level with me. . . Do you slip her the hot. . . beef. . . injection? Shut up! Go to hell! (full quote)
17768 what if your house was. . no, what is your dope was on fire? 2) impossible sir. it's in johnson's pants. (full quote)
18796 You just bought yourself another Saturday. (full quote)
18796 You're a neo-maxi-zoom dweebie. (full quote)
18796 You're a neo-maxi-zoom dweebie. (full quote)
18796 1.what if your dope was on fire? 2. That's impossible sir, it's in Johnson's shorts. (full quote)
18796 1). Uh, Carl? 2). What? 1). Can I ask you a question? 2). Sure. 1). How does one become a janitor? 2). You wanna be a janitor? 1). No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts. (full quote)
19326 Vernon: what'd you wanna be when you were a kid? Carl: When i was a kid i wanted to be John Lennon. (full quote)
19771 Could you describe the ruckus sir? (full quote)
19771 I Never Did It!!! (full quote)
20425 a] what if your house, what if your stuff, what if your DOPE was on fire? b] Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underpants. (full quote)
21191 1)Excuse me dork, what are you blabbering about? 2)uh, what i had said was, I'm in the math club, the latin club, and the physics club. physics club. (full quote)
22528 If I lose my temper, you're totalled. totally? totally. (full quote)
22528 1.You wear tights? No, I do not wear tights. I wear the required uniform. so Tights. Shut up! 2.What if your home, what if your family, what if your dope was on fire? Impossible, sir. Its in Johnson's underwear. (full quote)
23319 You are a bitch because you know how shitty that is to do to some one, but you won't stand up to your friends and say I'm gonna like who I like (full quote)
23319 Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor. (full quote)
Waar Believe THIS, huh? It's about the size of a cigar. Do I STUTTER? Ya see this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage. (full quote)
23970 Voice1: Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloaded son-of-a-bitch, retarded, big-mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk! Voice2: You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful! Voice1: SHUT UP BITCH! Go fix me turkey pot pie (full quote)
23970 Person 1 Here's my impression of life at Big Bri's house... Voice1: Son? Voice2: Yeah Dad? Voice1: How's your day pal? Voice2: Great Dad! How's yours? Voice1: SUPER!!!...Say Son, how's you like to go...FISHING this weekend?!Voice2: Great Dad, but i've got home work to do :-( Voice1: That's alright son, you can do it ON THE BOAT! (full quote)
24339 You know, you don't say anything all day but when you open your mouth, you spill all these tremendous lies all over me! (full quote)
24339 1)HEY, what's your name?...2)Claire.1)Claire? 2) yeah, it's a family name. 2) No No, that's a fat girl,s name...2) I am not fat! 1) no, not yet you aren't...in about 5 years you will be (full quote)
24999 1-why'd you do that? 2-because i knew you wouldn't. (full quote)
25031 Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says……………………….oh shit! (full quote)
DramaQueen When you grow up, your heart dies (full quote)
1ajas Screws fall out all the time. The world's an imperfect place. (full quote)
1ajas That man... is a brownie hound. (full quote)
1ajas young man, have you finished your paper? (full quote)
1ajas Stoopid, worthless, no good god damn freeloading son of a bitch, retarded bigmouth know-it-all asshole jerk....you forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful--SHUTUP BITCH! Go fetch me a turkey pot pie! (full quote)
1ajas Hey...Cherry...DO YOU belong to the physics club? (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth 1)what is that? 2)sushi 1)sushi? 2)yeah raw fish, seaweed, and rice 1)you wont except a guy's tounge in your mouth but you'll eat that? 2)can i eat? 1)iono give it a try! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth 1)hey johnson! how about you go close that door and we'll get the prom queen impregnated!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth 1)hey if i lose my temper you're totally man!! 2)totally? 1)totally!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth You know what the problem with chicks is? They can't hold a smoke!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth You know what the problem with chicks is? They can't hold a smoke!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth HEY CHERRY!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth Here's a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts!! Would you ever date a guy like that? I mean if he had a nice car and everythign? Except you would have to ride in the back cuz his nuts would ride shotgun!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth hey son how'd you like to go fishing today? great dad!! aawww but i have homework to do!! o thats okay son you can do it on the boat!! gee thanks dad!! hun isnt our son swell!! yes dear isnt life swell!! awww (smooch) aww (smooch) (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth Hey Dick!! Excuse me Rich will milk be made available to us?!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth O yeah cuz I have this DEEP admiration for guy who roll around on the floor with other guys!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth 1)You wear tights? 2)No I wear the required uniform! 1)TIghts? 2)SHUT UP!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth Two hits me hittin you, you hittin the floor any time you're ready pal!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth I don't wanna get into this with you man (why not) cuz I'd kill you!! I'd kill you and your fucking parents would kill me and I don't care enough about you to bother!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth My homelife is unsatifying!! (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth Do you always carry this much shit in your bag? (I always carry this much shit in my bag, you never know when you may have to jam) (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth So you can see us as you wanna see us. In our own words and simplest deffinitions we see ourselves as a brain, an athelte, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? Endangering the lives of children would be quite unwise at this juncture in your career. (full quote)
krickettbabselbereth So are you two like boyfriend girlfriend? Love birds? Come on sporto level with me, do you slip her the hot beef injection (GO TO HELL!!!!) (full quote)
  what do you need a fake ID for? so i can vote. (full quote)
  well we're all bizzare, some on us are just better at hiding it. (full quote)
  1.is that for real?2.you wanna come over sometime?3.thats bullshit its all part of your image.2.you dont beleive me? 3.no 2.no? 3.did i studder? 2.see this? its about the size of a cigar.do i studder? this is what you get at my house for spilling paint in the garage. now, i dont think i need to hang out with you fucking dildos anymore. (full quote)
  ...PB&J with the crusts cut off. Well Brian, this is a very nutricious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? (full quote)
  bender: I forgot my pencil! (full quote)
  bender: why'd you do that? clair: cause i knew you wouldn't (full quote)
  bender: for better hallway vision (full quote)
  Bender: That's very clever sir, but what if there is a fire? I think that endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture of your carreer. Vernon: Alright, move this, get this out of here.. Johnson: Actually there are exits at either end of the library. Bender: SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT! (full quote)
  Hey how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll ALL get up, it'll be ANARCHY! (full quote)
  You mess with the bull you get the horns! (full quote)
  Bender: Obsciene finger gestures from such a pristine girl. Claire: I'm not that pristine. Bender: Oh really.. Are you a virgin? I'll bet you a million dollar that you are. (full quote)
  You're a parent's wet dream... (full quote)
  It's absurd I have to be here on a Saturday. It's not like I'm defective or anything. (full quote)
  Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
  It's the schiz, huh? (full quote)
  Well, I don't know any leppers either, but I'm not going to join one of their fucking clubs (full quote)
  So it's kind of social, SAD and DEMENTED, but social. (full quote)
  Screws fall out all the time. The world's an imperfect place. (full quote)
  -Speak for yourself. -You think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language. (full quote)
  -Claire? -Claire,it's a family name. -No, it's a fat girl's name (full quote)
  -Carl, how does one become a janitor? -You want to be a janitor? -No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor. See, Andrew here is considering a career in the custodial arts. (full quote)
  Well Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your Mom marry Mr. Rogers? (full quote)
  You think false alarms are funny? what if your family, no, what if your dope was on fire? (full quote)
  Don't you ever compare yourself to me. You've got everything, I've got shit. (full quote)
  You're not willing to stick a guy's tongue down your throat, but you'll eat that. (full quote)
  -I don't have any friends...-Yeah, but if you did... (full quote)
  You wanna know why I'm here? what I did? Nothing, I had nothing better to do. (full quote)
  ...Each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a headcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Signed, the Breakfast Club (full quote)
  why does he get to stand up, and we don't? i'll stand up, they'll stand up, it'll be ANARCHY! (full quote)
  I don't think it really counts as rape... because I payed him to do it. (full quote)
  You're not blazin' up in here, wastoid! (full quote)
  Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy! (full quote)
  I wanna be an air force ranger! (full quote)
  did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? uh no...Mr. Johnson (full quote)
  andrew here is thinking about a career in the costodial arts. (full quote)
  See I dont think...that i need to sit with you FUCKIN DILDO's anymore. (full quote)
  Well, Brian here says that in addition to the numerous girls in the Niagra falls area, you and him are riding the hobby horse. (full quote)
  Thats 30 minutes for lunch girls (full quote)
  what are we haveing?- just your stanard regular lunch...-milk?- no soup,apple juice- I can read- PB&J with the crusts cut, well brain this is a very nutrious lunch you have here...what did your mom marry mr. rogers-uh no mr jonhson (full quote)
  (1):So,what what are we having? (2):Just your standard everyday lunch.(1)Milk?(2) Soup...Apple Juice.(1)I can read... PB&J with the crusts cut off.Well Brian this is a very nutritious lunch, all the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers, (2) No, Mr. Johnson. (full quote)
  How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up. It'll be ANARCHY! (full quote)
  Brian:You know, I can answer that right now sir...That'd be no for me.'cause...Vernon:Sit down Johnson...Brian:Thank you sir... (full quote)
  Brian:I can't have an F, I can't have it and I know my parents can't have it! Even if I aced the rest of the semester, I'm still only a B. And everything's ruined for me! Claire:(with pity)Oh Brian... Brian:So I considered my options, you know? Claire:No! Killing yourself is not an option! Brian:Well I didn't do it, did I? No,I don't think so! (full quote)
  John: so carl, how does one become a janitor? Carl: you wanna be a janitor?? John: no i was just interested in how one becomeS a janitor because Brian here is very interested in a career in the custodial arts. (full quote)
  Two hits- me hitting you, you hitting the floor. (full quote)
  He'll stand up, we'll all stand up; It'll be anarchy! (full quote)
  1) Is that for real? 2) You wanna come over some time? (full quote)
  Molay really pumps my nads (full quote)
  Son! Yeah Dad! How's your day pal! Great Dad, how's yours! Super! Hey son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend! Great Dad, But I've got homework to do! That's all right son, you can do it on the boat! Geee! Dear isn't our son swell? Yes dear, isn't life swell? (full quote)
  Are you gonna be, like, a shopping bag lady? (full quote)
  Andy, do you wanna get in on this? Allison here wants to run away because her home life is unsatisfying....well everyone's home life is unsatisfying....yeah but i think this goes beyond what normal guys like you and me consider normal unsatisfying (full quote)
  young MAN, have you finished your paper? (full quote)
  You see us as you want to see us . . In the simplest terms, in the the most convienient definitions . . We are each a brain, and an athlete, a basket-case, a princess, and a criminal (full quote)
  You mess with the bull you get the horns. (full quote)
  Hey why does Andrew get to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up! It'll be anarchy! (full quote)
  He'll get up! We'll all get up! It'll be anarchy! (full quote)
  I think your dad and my dad should get together and go bowling. (full quote)
  Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy! (full quote)
  Claire: If Brian came up to you in the hall, you'd say hi to him and than once he left you'd cut him down so your buddies wouldn't actually think you were friends with him. Andrew: No way, i wouldn't do that. Allison: What if i came up to you and said hi Claire: It'd be the same exact thing. John: You are a BITCH! (full quote)
  what if your family, what if your house........... what if your dope was on fire. Impossible, sir, it's in Johnson's underwear. (full quote)
  what do you say we close that doorr. We can get the prom queen, IN-preg-nat-ed. (full quote)
  -Why do you have a fake id? -To vote (full quote)
  When you grow up, your heart dies. (full quote)
  The next time I have to come in here, I'm crackin' skulls. (full quote)
  if i have to come in here one more time i'm crackin skulls (full quote)
  If we were in school right now i'd waste you (full quote)
  So. so! are you two boyfriend-girlfriend? steady dates? LOVERS? (full quote)
  Person 1: I wear the required uniform Person 2:tights (full quote)
  Why does he get to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it will be an anarchy!!! (full quote)
  Claire: NO I NEVER DID IT! Alison: I never did it either. I'm not a mynphomaniac. I'm a compulive liar. Claire: You are such a bitch! (full quote)
  I'm a Walrus..... (full quote)
  Actually there are exits located on either side of the library.....(everyone else hushes him) (full quote)
  well let's run out and join the wrestling team. I figure all i need is a lobotomy and tights. (full quote)
  your heart dies (full quote)
  your heart dies (full quote)
  i wanna be an airbourne ranger...there're are five i wanna ride before i die...automobile...... (full quote)
  Eat my shorts! (full quote)
  Let's get the prom queen IMpregnated! (full quote)
  Bender- Well Brian, this is a very nutricious meal. All the food groups represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? Brian- No, Mr. Johnson Bender- Here's my impression of life at Big Bri's house.... Son? Yeah dad? How's your day pal? Great dad, how's yours? Super. Say son, how'd ya like to go fishing this weekend? Great dad...but i've got homework to do. That's alright, son, you can do it on the boat! Gee...thanks dad. Dear isn't our son swell? Yes dear, isn't life swell? Oh...*kiss* Oh...*kiss* *punch* (full quote)
  Does Barry Manilow know you raided his wardrobe? (full quote)
  Does Barry Manilow know you raided his wardrobe? (full quote)
  You say one more word and I am beating the shit out of you. (full quote)
  It's apple juice.- I CAN READ! (full quote)
  what if your dope was on fire . 2. impossible sir its in johnsons underwear (full quote)
  you think he's funny? you think he's bitchin',is that it? well you visit john bender in about five years and you'll see how goddamn funny he is! (full quote)
  ...when you grow up, your heart dies. (full quote)
  1) I hate you! 2) Yeah!? good! (full quote)
  Do you want to know what I did to get in here? Nothing, I had nothing better to do. You're laughing ..[laughs] (full quote)
  1) You lost? [cut to different scene then return ] Why'd you do that. 2) Cause I knew you wouldn't. (full quote)
  Withought lamps, there'd be no light - John Bender (full quote)
  IF I have to come back in here one more time i'm cracking skulls (full quote)
  Screws fall out all the time...The world is an imperfect place. (full quote)
  middle name ..Ralph...as in puke... (full quote)
  A blonde walks into a bar carrying a poodle under one arm...and a foot long salami under the other. The bartender looks at the blonde and says Well, I guess you wont be needing anything to drink... and the blonde says....OOOOOH SHIT! (full quote)
  If he gets up, we'll ALL get up.....IT'LL BE ANARCHY! (full quote)
  Smoke Um Up Jonny (full quote)
  Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fuckin' clubs. (full quote)
  Stupid, worthless, no good, god damn, free-loading, son of a bitch, retared, big-mouth, know it all, asshole, jerk... you forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful (full quote)
  Oh shit, what are we suppose to do if we have to take a piss? gotta go you gotta go. (full quote)
  It was a banner fucking year at the ______ family! Old man handed me a carton of cigarettes and said, 'Smoke up, Johnny!' (full quote)
  I'll give you the answer to that question Mr.Bender next saturday. (full quote)
  It was a real fuckin' christmas at the old Bender household,my old man gave a carton of cigarettes,he said hey,Johnny Boy smoke up. (full quote)
  1. Claire? Wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantiasis of the nuts? It’s pretty tasty. 2 No, thank you. 1. How do you think he rides a bike? …Oh, Claire? Would you ever consider dating a guy like this? 2. Can’t you just leave me alone? 1. I mean if he had a great personality, was a good dancer, and had a cool car? Although, you’d probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun. 2. You know what I wish I was doing? 1. Oh! Watch what you say, Brian here is a cherry. 3. A cherry? 2. I wish I was on a plane… to France. 3. I’m not a cherry. 1. When have you ever gotten laid? 3. I’ve LAID lots of times. 1. Name one. 3. She lives in Canada. I met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn’t know her. 1. Ever laid anyone around here? 3. Shhh. *motions to Claire* 1. Oooh. You and Claire did it. 2. What are you talking about? 3. Nothing. Nothing. Let’s just drop it okay? We’ll talk about it later. 2. No, drop what? What are you talking about? 1. Well, Brian’s trying to tell me that in addition to the NUMBER of girls in the Niagara Falls area that presently you and he are riding the hobby horse. 2. Little pig. 3. No I’m not. John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn’t. That’s it. That’s all that was said. 1. Well then what were you motioning to Claire for? 2. You know I don’t appreciate this very much, Brian. 3. He is lying. 1. Oh. You weren’t motioning to Claire? 3. You know he’s lying right? 1. Were you or were you not motioning to Claire? 3. Yeah, but it was only-- It was only because I didn’t want her to know I was a virgin. Okay? Excuse me for being a virgin I’m sorry. 2. Why didn’t you want me to know you were a virgin? 3. Because it’s personal business. It’s my personal private business. 1. Well, Brian, it doesn’t like you’re doing any (full quote)
  Watch it... you mess with the bull.. you'll get the horns (full quote)
  >what is your dope was on fire? >Impossible sir, it's in Johnson's underwear (full quote)
  dont mess with a bull young man you'll getthe horns (full quote)
  Bender: Hey how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up we'll all get up it'll be anarchy. (full quote)
  ...and these children that you spit on, as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through... - David Bowie (full quote)
  Bender: Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place. (full quote)
  Is it ganna be a white weddin' (full quote)
  Here's my impression of life at big Bri's house. ~Son! ~Yeah Dad! ~How was your day? ~Swell! (full quote)
  PB&J with the crusts cut off. Well Brian, this is a very nutricious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? (full quote)
  see this? its about the size of a ciguar. See this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage. DO I STUDDER? DO I STUDDER? (full quote)
  Claire's a fat girls name. (full quote)
  Show Dick Some Respect! (full quote)
  you know what i got for christmas, a carton of ciagerettes. (full quote)
  what's your name Claire CLAIIREE? Claire, it's a family name it's a fat girls name, that's what it is oh thankyou, I'm not fat you're welcome, not yet, but in your near future i see you pushing maximum density (full quote)
  Very smart sir, but what if theres a fire? I think blocking fire exits and endangering the lives of children would be unwise in this juncture in your career. (full quote)
  impossible, sir. its in johnson's underwear (full quote)
  I do not wear tights, I wear the required uniform. (full quote)
  RUCKUS? what RUCKUS? (full quote)
  Sweets, you couldn't ignore me if you tried (full quote)
  B-O-O-H-O-O (full quote)
  lets dance (full quote)
  I don't want to get into this with you man....Why not?...Cause I'll kill you...It's real simple, I'll kill you and you're fucking parents will sue me, it'll be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother... (full quote)
  Andrew (full quote)
  Andrew (full quote)
  Andrew Clark (full quote)
  John Bender (full quote)
  If Andrew gets up, we'll all get up, It'll be Anarchy! (full quote)
  Did I stutter? (full quote)
  Claire!?! That's a fat girl's name (full quote)
  Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
  Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
  Dick:Carl, what did you want to be when you grew up? Carl: When I grew up I wanted to be John Lennon. (full quote)
1335 1. That was marijuana! That was marijuana! Do you approve of this? 2. Shut up! (full quote)
agwendolyn Wake up! Who has to go to the lavatory? (full quote)
agwendolyn You're an idiot anyway. If you say you get along with your parents... well, you're a liar, too. (full quote)
7643 You think this is cute you think he's bitchin is that it? let me tell you somethin. Look at him. He's a bum. (full quote)
7643 yo wasteoid youre not gonna blaze up in here (full quote)
7643 1:no no no man no ya gotta middle name? 2:your middle name is ralph as in puke. (full quote)
7643 you are such a bitch! you did that on purpose just to fuck me over. (full quote)
7643 when you grow up your heart dies (full quote)
7643 you wanna know what i did to get in here? nothing i didnt have anything better to do (full quote)
7643 dear mr.vernon we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong but we think youre crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are you can see us how you want to see us in the simplest terms in the most convenient definitions but what we found out is that each one of us is a brain and an athlete a princess a basketcase and a criminal does that answer your question sincerely yours ~BlAnK~ (full quote)
deadpoetjs Don't mess with a bull son. You'll get the horns. (full quote)
10497 You see chicks can not hold they smoke....thats what it is (full quote)
10929 Could you describe the ruckus, sir? (full quote)
10929 questions? (full quote)
10929 REASONS FOR DETENTION: (1)John Bender (pulling a fire alarm); (2) Claire Standish (cutting class to go shopping); (3) Brian Ralph Johnson (bringing a flare gun to school); (4) Andrew Clarke (taping a kid's butt-cheeks together); and (5) Allison Reynolds (nothing). (full quote)
12276 Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. Shut up bitch...go fix me a turkey pot pie. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. Dad, what about you? Fuck YOU. (full quote)
1ajas So it's sort of social - demented and sad - but social, right? (full quote)
1ajas You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you. (full quote)
1ajas your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling. (full quote)
1ajas your intensity is for shit, WIN, WIN, WIN! (full quote)
1ajas excuse me sir, why would anybody want to steal a screw? (full quote)
1ajas show Dick some respect! (full quote)
1ajas Carl, how does one become a janitor? (full quote)
1ajas Stoopid, worthless, no good god damn freeloading son of a bitch, retarded bigmouth know-it-all asshole jerk....you forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful--SHUTUP BITCH! Go fetch me a turkey pot pie! (full quote)
1ajas Carl, how does one become a janitor? (full quote)
1ajas I never did it either. I'm not a nymphomaniac, I'm a compulsive liar. (full quote)
1ajas You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity (full quote)
1ajas You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, the most convenient definitions. (full quote)
1ajas Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right? (full quote)
Pinky Vernon: What would you do if your home, your family, your dope was on fire? Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear. (full quote)
Pinky Brian: Who am I? Who am I? I'm the Walrus . . . (full quote)
Pinky Bender: I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not about to run out and join one of their f***in' clubs. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- what was that ruckus? #2- Uh, what ruckus? #1- I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus. #3- Could you describe the ruckus, sir? (full quote)
dilgerfan Come on, Sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection? (full quote)
69phreak69 why don't you go close that door. We'll get the prom queen-- impregnated! (full quote)
29939 1) I can't believe you can't get me out of this...I mean it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm a defective or anything... 2) I'll make it up to you...Honey, ditching class to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. Have a good day. (full quote)
29939 1) My office...is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised... any questions? 2) Yeah...I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe? (full quote)
29939 1) Uh Carl? 2) What? 3) Can I ask you a question? 4) Sure... 5) How does one become a janitor? 6) You wanna be a janitor? 7) No I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here, is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts... (full quote)
29939 1) Why didn't you want me to know you were a virgin? 2) Because it's personal business, it's my personal, private business. 3) Well Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business... (full quote)
29939 1) That's apple juice... 2) I can read! PB & J with the crusts cut off...Well Brian, this is a very nutritous lunch, all the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? 3) Uh, no, Mr. Johnson... 4) Ahhh.... (full quote)
29939 1) This is the worst fake ID I've ever seen... 2) Do you realize you made yourself sixty eight? 3) Oh, I know...I know, I goofed it... 4) what do you need a fake ID for? 5) So I can vote! (full quote)
29939 Well everyone's home lives are un- satisfying...If it wasn't, people would live with there parents forever... (full quote)
29939 1) I take shop...you must be a fuckin' idiot! 2) I'm a fuckin' idiot because I can't make a lamp? 3) No, you're a genius because you can't make a lamp... 4) What do you know about Trigonometry? 5) I could care less about Trigonometry... 6) Bender, did you know without Trigonometry there'd be no engineering? 7) Without lamps, there'd be no light! (full quote)
MilleniumPhoenix So it's sort of social. Demented and sad, but social. (full quote)
30763 Screws just fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place. (full quote)
30763 Being bad feels pretty good, huh? (full quote)
30763 You see us as you want to see us. (full quote)
32361 Being bad feels pretty good huh. (full quote)
jesusroxmysox Wanna see what's in my bag??? (full quote)
33899 Hey, Cherry! Do you belong to the Physics club? (full quote)
33944 [Over opening credits]___*And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds, are immune to your consultations, they are quite aware of what they are going through.* -David Bowie (full quote)
33944 Dont You Forget About Me - Simple Minds Fire In The Twilight - Wang Chung (full quote)
33979 Brian: I'm in the Math Club...The Physics Club, too. Well, what I said was...I'm in the Math Club, the Latin Club, and the Physics...Physics Club. (full quote)
34196 Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club (full quote)
34196 Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says-- [The ceiling gives way.] Bender: oh shit! (full quote)
34196 Claire: You know, you look a lot better without all that black shit under your eyes. Allison Reynolds: Hey, I like all that black shit... Why are you being so nice to me? Claire: Because you're letting me. (full quote)
Kris J-Brian here says you and him are currently riding the hobby horse C-You little pig! (full quote)
35335 I don't know any lepers either, but I am not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs! (full quote)
36533 1.Keep your FUCKIN' Hands off me!!! 2.Uhhh.. Dick,excuse me, Rich,wil milk be made available? 3.A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 2pound salami under the other. The lady lays the poodle on the bar, bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink, Blondde says.....OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH SSHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!! (full quote)
37714 He gets up...We'll all get up...It'll be anarchy! (full quote)
38482 THE NEXT TIME I COME IN HERE I'M CRAKIN' SKULLS! (full quote)
38783 Screws fall out all the time sir...the world's an imperfect place.. (full quote)
39794 A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other, she lays the poodle on the table, the bartender says I suppose you won't be needing a drink, the blonde says OHHHHH SHHHHIIT! (full quote)
39963 Claire: You know, you really look a lot better without that black shit in your eyes. Allison: Hey...I like that black shit. (full quote)
39963 You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister! (full quote)
39963 You are a parent's wet dream, okay? (full quote)
anne benoit You load up, you party (full quote)
40504 next time i come in here im crackin skulls (full quote)
43243 I WANNA B AN AIRBORNE RANGER!! (full quote)
44453 Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor. (full quote)
44702 why do you have so much SHIT in your purse! (full quote)
46184 Sweets, you couldn't ignore me if you tried. (full quote)
46184 Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your fuckin' prom!! (full quote)
48021 Brian: But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain Andrew: ...and an athlete... Allison:...and a basket case... Claire: ...and a princess... Bender: ...and a criminal... (full quote)
tracrx8828 I am a Walrus (full quote)
kpelling01 John Bender: Hey, Cherry! Do you belong to the physics club? Claire Standish: That's an academic club. John Bender: So? Claire Standish: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. John Bender: Ah...but to dorks like him, they are. what do you guys do in your club? Brian Johnson: In physics we...uh...we talk about physics, properties of physics. John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right? (full quote)
kpelling01 Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours (full quote)
Juniper You stupid, worthless, no-good, G*ddamn free-loading son-of-a-bitch. Retarded, big-mouth, know-it-all, asshole jerk. 'You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful.' Shut-up bitch. Go fix me a turkey pot-pie. (full quote)
kaktvn4life I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts. (full quote)
dbaltazar Yes I always carry this much shit in my bag! (full quote)
KingbobulousIII Have you ever been felt up? Under the bra, over the panties hoping to god your parents don't walk in?...Under the panties, no bra, calvins in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night? (full quote)