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Clue - 1985 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
3225 1) The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun. 2) Oh, come on you don't expect me to fall for that ol' trick. 1) It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Body in the study, two for the chandelier two at the lounge door and one for the singing telegram. 2) That's not six 1) One plus two plus two plus one 1) Uh uh, there was only one shot that got the chandellier that's one plus two plus one plus one. 1) Even if you are right that would be One plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one. 2) All, right fine! One plus two....SHUT UP!!! (full quote)
4066 1. And to make a long story short 2. too late (full quote)
4066 I'm not shouting. Alright I am I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shou (full quote)
  They all did it. But if you want to know who killed Mr. Body, I did, in the hallway, with the revolver. Ok chief, take em away. I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife. (full quote)
  FBI. That call from J. Edgar Hoover was for me. (full quote)
4391 life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage (full quote)
4391 How many husbands have you had? 2)Mine or other women's? (full quote)
4391 1)But he was your second husband. your first husband also dissappeared.2)But that was his job, he was an illusionist. 1)But he never reappeared.2)He wasn't a very good illusionist. (full quote)
4391 1)Are you a cop? 2)No, I'm a plant. 1) A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit. (full quote)
4391 It's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life. (full quote)
4270 Flies are where men are most vulnerable. (full quote)
  No man in his right mind would be alone together with you. (full quote)
4741 1) We're like the mounties...always get our man 2) Mrs. Peacock was a man?! (full quote)
4741 1) Let us in! Let us in! 2) Let us out! Let us out! (full quote)
  (Mrs. Peacock screams. Mr Green leads her over to the couch, sets her down, and slaps her). Well, I had to stop her from screaming. (full quote)
4307 1. Like the mounties, we always get our man. 2. Mrs. Peacock was a man? (full quote)
  This is war, Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelet with out breaking eggs, every cook'll tell you that. But look what happened to the cook! (full quote)
4307 That's one plus two plus one...oh, shut up! The point is, there's one bullet left in this gun, and guess who's going to get it. (full quote)
  I'm going home to sleep with my wife. (full quote)
5354 I'm going home to sleep with my wife (full quote)
1501 #1: This is America! It's a free country. #2: I didn't know it was THAT free. (full quote)
4066 da da la da! I am your signing telegram...BANG! (full quote)
4307 1. your first husband disappeared. 2. But that was his job. He was an illusionist. 1. But he never reappeared. 2. He wasn't a very good illusionist. (full quote)
4307 Husbands should be like Kleenex, soft, strong, and disposable. (full quote)
4066 1. Are you the host? 2. No, I'm just the humble butler. 1.And what exaclty is it that you do? 1. I buttle sir. (full quote)
5172 (1) Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone? (2) I don't know. He's on everyone else's, why shouldn't he be on mine? (full quote)
5172 (1) Professor, you were once a professor of psychiatry, specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur. (2) Yes, but now I work for the United Nations. (1) So, your work has not changed. (full quote)
5172 (1) His license to practice has been lifted, correct? (2) Why? what did he do? (1) You know what doctors aren't allowed to do with their lady patients? (2) Yeah. (1) Well, he did. (full quote)
5172 (1)Good evening, have you ever given any thought to the Kingdom of Heaven? (2) what? (1) Repent. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. (full quote)
5172 (1)Good evening, have you ever given any thought to the Kingdom of Heaven? (2) what? (1) Repent. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. (3) You ain't just whistling Dixie. (1) Armageddon is almost upon us. (4) I got news for you: it's already here. (full quote)
5172 (1) There's still one thing I don't understand. (2) One thing? (full quote)
5172 (1) Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests? (2) You don't need any help from me, sir. (full quote)
5172 (1) Why would anyone want to kill him twice? (2) It seems so unnecessary. (3) It's what we call overkill. (4) It's what we call a psychotic. (full quote)
5172 (1) Just checking. (2) Everything alright? (1) Yep. Two corpses, everything's fine. (full quote)
5172 (1) I was going to expose you. (2) I know, so I choose to expose myself. (3) Please, there are ladies present. (full quote)
5172 (1) what are you all staring at? (2) Nothing. (1) Well, who's there? (3) Nobody. (1) what do you mean? (4) Nobody. No body! That's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone! (full quote)
5172 life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage (full quote)
5172 (1) It is political, you're a communist! (2) No, Mr. Green. Communism is just a red herring. Like all members of the oldest profession, I'm a capitalist (full quote)
5172 (1) Is the F.B.I. in the habit of cleaning up after multiple murder? (2) Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover? (full quote)
5172 (1) He had threatened to kill me in public. (2) Why would he want to kill you in public? (3) I think she meant, he threatened, in public, to kill her. (full quote)
  Flames! Flames! On the side of my face! (full quote)
  Husbands should be like tissues, soft, strong and disposable. (full quote)
  Colonel Mustard:( to Wadsworth) Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of all the other guests Wadsworth:You don't need any help from me sir. Colonel Mustard: That's right! (full quote)
  Mustard: (to Wadsworth)So is this seat for you? Wadsworth: No sir I'm merely a humble butler Mustard: what exactly do you do? Wadsworth: I butle sir (full quote)
  Scarlet- Anyone could've picked it up you, HIM-pointing to Yvette (full quote)
  There's no alternative! I'll just have to break it down! (WADSWORTH slams his shoulder against the door and collapses in pain) (full quote)
2489 I'm sorry ... I'm a little accident-prone (full quote)
2489 1)Is this place for you? 2)Oh, indeed, no sir. I'm merely a humble butler. 1)And what exactly do you do? 2)I buttle, sir. (full quote)
2489 1) So, what does your husband do? 2) Nothing. 1) Nothing? 2) Well, he ... just ... lies around on his back all day. 3) Sounds like hard work to me. (full quote)
2489 1) We had had a very humiliating public confrontation, he was deranged ... lunatic. He didn't actually seem to like me very much, he had threatened to kill me in public. 2) Why would he want to kill you in public? 3) I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her. SCARLET: Oh. And was that his final word on the matter? WHITE: Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say? (full quote)
2489 1)We should have made sure he was dead! 2) How? By cutting his head off, I suppose. 3) That wasn't called for. (full quote)
2489 1) Where's the lightswitch? 2 search me 1) Alright 2) Get your mitts off me! (full quote)
2489 WOMAN Why is the car stopped? MAN It's frightened. (full quote)
2489 WADSWORTH I'm sorry. Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry, specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur. PLUM Yes, but now I work for the United Nations. WADSWORTH So your work has not changed. But you don't practice medicine at the U.N. His license to practice has bee lifted, correct? (full quote)
2489 WHITE (to Peacock) Well, I am willing to believe you. I too am being blackmailed for something I didn't do. GREEN Me too. MUSTARD And me. SCARLET Not me. WADSWORTH You're not being blackmailed? SCARLET Oh, I'm being blackmailed, all right. But I did what I'm being blackmailed for. (full quote)
2489 I enjoy getting presents from strange men. (full quote)
2489 MUSTARD This is war, Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot without breaking eggs--every cook will tell you that. PEACOCK But look what happened to the cook! (full quote)
2489 YVETTE Bon decor. But it is dark upstairs, and I am frightened of ze dark. Will anyone go wiz me? PLUM I will. MUSTARD I will. green No, thank you. (full quote)
2489 COP Let me out of here! Let me out of here, you have no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest, and wrongful imprisonment, and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty! And murder! (full quote)
2489 I asked you for your coat, and I recognized you as Colonel Mustard and I prevented you from telling your real name because I didn't want any of you to use any name other than your pseudonym and I introduced myself to you as a butler and I ran across the Hall to the library! (full quote)
2489 WADSWORTH And, to make a long story short-- ALL Too late. WADSWORTH --one by one, you all arrived. (full quote)
2489 And Mrs. Peacock sat here, and Professor Plum sat here . . . (acts as if slurping soup) and Mrs. White sat here . . . (imitates them slurping soup) and Mr. green, Miss Scarlet, Colonel Mustard. This chair (indicates the head) was vacant. Anyway, we all revealed we'd all received a letter. (points at various chairs) And you'd had a letter, and you'd had a letter, and you'd had a letter-- (full quote)
2489 Don't be ridiculous. If I was the murderer, why would I reveal to you how I did it? (full quote)
2489 MUSTARD How did you know that? WADSWORTH (to Mustard) Can you keep a secret? MUSTARD (leaning in) Yes. WADSWORTH So can I. (full quote)
2489 True! Who are you, Perry Mason? (full quote)
4307 1. Come back to the study with us. 2. With the murderer? 3. There is safety in numbers, my dear. (full quote)
4307 1. She's going to faint! 2. Somebody catch her! 1. I'll catch you. Here, fall into my arms. (Mrs. Peacock falls toward Wadsworth's arms, but falls straight through, and onto the floor). Sorry. (full quote)
4307 She (Yvette) had been in the billiard room listening to our conversation. She heard the gunshot and thought that she was dead, and while we all examined the bullet hole, she crept into the study, picked up the dagger, ran down to the kitchen and stabbed the cook. We didn't hear the cook scream, because Mrs. Peacock was screaming about the poisioned brandy. Then, Yvette returned to the billiard room. She screamed, and we all ran to her. (full quote)
4307 The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies, empty your purses. Whoever has the gun is the murderer. (full quote)
4307 1. I run a specialized hotel and a telephone service, which provide gentlemen with the company of a young lady for a short while. 2. Oh, yeah? What's the telephone number? (full quote)
4307 1. Those were the photographs that Colnel Mustard earlier referred to. Pictures of him and Yvette in flagrante delecto. 2. Mr. Boddy threatened to send those to my dear old mother. The shock would have killed her. 3. That would have been an achievementement, since you told us that she's dead already. (full quote)
4307 1 (whispering). Shut the door. Did anyone recognize you? 2. They must have, and not just my face. They know every inch of my body...it's you! (full quote)
4307 While Mrs. Peacock was screaming, one of us could have picked up the dagger, run down the hall, and stabbed the cook. (full quote)
4307 You can pay me in government information, all of you. Except you, Wadsworth. You, as a mere butler, have no access to government secrets, so I'm afraid your time has come. (full quote)
4307 They all did it, but if you want to know who killed Mr. Boddy, I did. In the hall, with the revolver. Okay, chief, take 'em away. I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife. (full quote)
4307 1.Why is the car stopped? 2. It's frightened. (full quote)
4307 1. Shouldn't we wait for the other guest? 2. I will keep something warm for him. 3. what did you have in mind, dear? (full quote)
4307 1. Are you afraid of silence, Mrs. Peacock? 2. Yes--what?--No--why? 1. It just seems that you are. You seem to suffer from what we call 'pressure of speech'. 3. We? Who's we? Are you a shrink? 1. I do know a little about psychological medicine, yes. (full quote)
4307 1. And, Colnel, you drive a very expensive car for someone who lives on a colnel's pay. 2. I don't. I came into money during the war when I lost my mommy and daddy. (full quote)
4307 1. Are you locking me in? I'll take the key. 2. Over my dead body, sir. (full quote)
4307 In your hands, you each have a lethal weapon. If you denounce me to the police, you will also be exposed and humiliated. I'll see to that in court, but, if one of you kills Wadsworth now, no one but the seven of us will ever know. He has the key to the front door, which he said would only be opened over his dead body. (Laughs). I suggest we take him up on that offer. The only way to avoid finding yourself on the front page is for one of you to kill Wadsworth...now. (full quote)
4307 1. I suggest that we take the cook's body into the study. 2. Why? 1. I'm the butler. I like to keep the kitchen tidy. (full quote)
4307 1. Is there a little girls' room in the hall? 2. Oui, oui, madame. 1. No, I just need to powder my nose. (full quote)
4307 1. That's what we call overkill. 2. That's what we call psychotic. (full quote)
4307 Mrs. White, no man in his right mind would be alone together with you. (full quote)
4307 1. what are you afraid of, a fate worse than death? 2. No, just death. (full quote)
4307 1. What room is this? 2. search me. 1. Okay. (Starts to frisk her). 2. Get your mitts off me. (full quote)
4307 1. Will you stop that? 2. No. (full quote)
4307 1. Don't you remember your fatal mistake? You told us at dinner that we were eating one of your favorite recipes, and monkey's brains though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C. 2. Is that what we ate? (full quote)
4307 Take your hands off me! I'm a senator's wife! (full quote)
4307 Good shot, green...Very good. (full quote)
4307 I'm not shouting! All right, I am. I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shou--*clonk* (full quote)
5172 If I was the murderer, why would I reveal to you how I did it? (full quote)
5172 (1) Monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C. (2) Is that what we ate? (full quote)
5631 #1:Is the FBI used to cleaning up multiple murders? #2:Yes, why do you think it's run by a man named Hoover? (full quote)
6174 1.You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, every cook will tell you that. 2.But look what happened to the cook!!! (full quote)
6392 1: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests? 2: You don't need any help from me, sir. 1: That's right. (full quote)
6392 Plum: Look! The body's gone! Peacock: what are you all staring at? Green: Nothing. Peacock: Well who's there? Wadsworth: Nobody. No body, we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone. White: Maybe he wasn't dead. Plum: He was! White: We should've made sure. Peacock: How, by cutting head off, I suppose. White: That wasn't called for. Scarlet: Where is he? Mustard: We better look for him. (full quote)
6392 Mr. Boddy, dead...again? (full quote)
6392 1: Just checking. 2: Everything alright? 1: Yup, two corpses, everything's fine. (full quote)
6392 1: This man's drunk. Dead drunk. 2: Dead right. 1: You're not driving home are you? 3: He won't be driving home, officer, I promise you that. 1: Somebody'll get him a lift, huh? 2: We'll get him a car. 3: A long black car. 2: A limousine. (full quote)
6392 [doorbell] Oh, whoever it is, they've gotta go away or they'll be killed! (full quote)
6392 1: ...the shock would've killed her. 2: Well, that would've been quite an achievement since you told us she was dead already. (full quote)
6392 Yes, yes I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her SO much, it-it-it flamed, flames, flames on the side of my face, heaving, breathing, heaving breaths, heaving-- (full quote)
6534 That would be one plus one plus TWO plus one, not one plus TWO plus one plus one. (full quote)
clarkins #1 There's one thing I still don't understand. #2 One thing? (full quote)
6814 I had to stop her from screaming! (full quote)
6899 1) How can we possibly find out which of you did it? 2) what do you mean WHICH OF *YOU* did it? 1) Well, I didn't do it! (full quote)
6899 1) If he was such a patriotic American, why didn't he just report us to the authorities. 2) He decided to put his information to good use and make a little money off of it. What could be more American than that? (full quote)
6899 But eet eez dark upstairs, and I am frightened of zee dark. Will anyone go with me? (full quote)
6965 1)He had threatened to kill me in public. 2)Why would he want to kill her in public? 3)I think she means he threatened, in public, to kill her. (full quote)
7680 nd the doorbell rang, and it was you, I asked you for your coat, adn I recognized yu as (name) and I prevented you from telling me your real name b/c I didnt want any of you to use any name other than your psuedonymn, I introduced myself to you as the butler, and we hurried across the hall to the library! (full quote)
Beat Rice Yada,dadada,da! I am your singing telegram >BANG!< (full quote)
Beat Rice green: I'm a plant. Scarlet: A plant? I thought guys like you were usually called a fruit. green: Very funny. (full quote)
Beat Rice green: They all did it. But if you want to know who killed Mr. Boddy, I did, in the hall, with the revolver. (full quote)
Beat Rice *Wadsworth turns off the lights* Scarlet: Turn on the lights! Wadsworth: Sorry, didn't mean to frighten anyone. green: You're a little late for that! (full quote)
Beat Rice Wadsworth: And that's where you made your fatal mistake. You said that we were eating one of your favorite recipes. And monkey brains, though popular in --- cuisine, is very rare to find in ---. Green: Is that what we ate? (full quote)
8042 1. Oh my god! how do you get into that position? 2. Here, I'll show you (pushes 1 down onto sofa and climbs on top of her). 1. Get off me! (full quote)
8042 1. Oh my god! how do you get into that position? 2. Here, I'll show you (pushes 1 down onto sofa and climbs on top of her). 1. Get off me! (full quote)
Cosmic_Raider Looks like it's you and me honeybunch. (full quote)
  green: You're Mr. Boddy! (WADSWORTH laughs) PLUM: WAIT! If you're Mr. Boddy, who did I kill?! WADSWORTH: My butler. He was expendable like all of you! (full quote)
  WADSWORTH: Like the Mounties, we always get our man! GREEN: Mrs. Peacock was a man?! (WADSWORTH & MUSTARD both slap GREEN) WADSORTH: Would anyone care to adjourn to the study for fruit or dessert? (full quote)
  well somebodys got to break the ice and it might as well be me. I mean i'm used to being a hostess, its part of my husband's work and its always difficult when a group of new people meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so i'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling. i mean i have absolutely no idea what we're doing here or what i'm doing here or what this place is about but i am determined to enjoy myself and very intrigued and oh my this soup's delicious (full quote)
  I was in the hall..I know because I was there. (full quote)
  Scarlet: Looks like there is life after death. White: life after death is as improbable as sex after marrige! (full quote)
  Scarlet: Do you miss him? White: Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life. (full quote)
  Peacock: Is there a little girl's room down the hall? Yvette: Oui, Oui, madame. Peacock: Oh no, I just want to powder my nose. (full quote)
  Evangelist: But your souls are in danger! Peacock: OUr lives are in danger, you beetnik! (full quote)
  is this chair for you no sir i am realy a humble butler what exacly do you do i buttle sir which means what (full quote)
  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife! (full quote)
  Well, I may as well get the ball rolling. Afterall, I'm used to it as part of my husband's work. I know it's hard when a bunch of new friends get together for the first time to get aquainted. I mean, I don't know what I'm doing here, but I am determined to enjoy myself. And I'm very intrigued. And, oh my, this soup's delicious, isn't it? (full quote)
  One Plus Two Plus Two Plus One Is... *CRASH* (full quote)
  Never mind about the key, unlock the door. We cant unlock the door without the key! (full quote)
  Picked up the daggar...RRRRAn down the hall!! (full quote)
  ... and I was in the hallway. I know, because I was there. (full quote)
  Is the FBI capable of cleaning up after multiple murders? Of course why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover? (full quote)
  I'm the butler. what exactly do you do? I butle sir. (full quote)
  I'm going home to sleep with my wife. (full quote)
  evvett was in here alone waiting to serve u all a glass of champane. now i was in the hall......i know because i was there (full quote)
  evvett:but..who will go with me colonel mustard: i will professor: i will mr green: not me (full quote)
  #1: but is the FBI used to cleaning up after multiple murders #2: of COURSE. why do u think its run by a man named hoover (full quote)
  wadsworth: you must be mister green (to the dogs)SIT!!! (Mr. green sits) wadsworth: no sir,... not u (full quote)
  Its Mr.boddy! Hes attacking her (full quote)
  He was always a very stupidly optimistic man. I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died. His head had been cut off, so had his... you know. I was out all day at the movies. Do you miss him? Well, it's a matter of life or death. Now that he's dead, I have a life. (full quote)
  1 Theres still some confusion to whether there is someone else in the house! 2 No there isnt. 1 Isnt confusion or isnt someone in the house? 2 Neither, no wait, both. (full quote)
  I wonder if this is the shower? Splash (full quote)
  I wonder if this is the shower? Splash (full quote)
  I wonder if this is the shower? Splash (full quote)
  Col. Mustard - I prefer Kipling, the female of the species is more deadly then the male. You like Kipling Mrs. Scarlet? Mrs. Scarlet - Sure, I'll eat anything. (full quote)
  Wadsworth - Dont Deny it Mrs. Scarlett - what do you mean, dont deny it, im not denying anything! Wadsworth - Another denial... (full quote)
  Cop - Your too late, I've seen it all Wadsworth - You have?! I can explain!! Cop - You dont have to Wadsworth - I dont? Cop - No! Theres nothing illigal about any of this! Wadsworth - There isnt? Cop - Of course not! This is America, its a free country! Dont you know that? Wadsworth - I didnt know it was THAT free... (full quote)
  I Hated Her So Much..There Were Flames..Flames From The Sides Of My face.. (full quote)
  1. Officer! I wouldn't go in there if I were you. 2. Why not? 1. Cause it's all too shocking. 2. It's not all that shocking, these folks are just having a good time. 3. Officer! 2. You're too late, I've seen it all. 3. You have? Look I can explain everything. 3. You don't have to. 3. I don't? 3. Don't worry, there's nothing illegal about anything in this place. 1. Are you sure? 2. Of course this is America. 1. I see. 2. It's a free country don't you know that? 1. Well I didn't know it was THAT free. (full quote)
  There's no body in the Study. (full quote)
  why did the car stop ?.....its frightened (full quote)
  green: MRS.PECOCK WAS A MAN!! (slaps) (full quote)
  I thought men like you were usually called a fruit (full quote)
  Would anyone care for fruit or dessert? (full quote)
  I'm afraid I'm a little bit accident prone. (full quote)
  Practice makes perfect. I think most men need a little practice, don't you Mrs. Peacock. (full quote)
  his head and his uhm... ya know... was cut off... *guys cross legs* (full quote)
  I think she means he threatened, in public, to kill her. (full quote)
  True! Who are you? Perry Mason? (full quote)
  ...(wadsworth)by sticking used greenbags under the door of the mens bathroom. what do you have to say about that? (scarlet) I'd day it stinks!(peacock)how would you know? when were you in that mensroom? (full quote)
  WHITE: (screaming)WADSWORTH: Don't worry! I'm coming...(opens door)...what's this? another door? (shower turns on) (full quote)
  White: are you going in there? Wadsworth: I don't see any light switches. White: either do I but they've got to be in there somehwere. (both take 2 steps in the jump back out) (full quote)
  (SCARLET AND COLONAL MUSTARD)C: Nobody's here. S: behind one of those curtains!? C: you look....i'll search the kitchen. (full quote)
  1)But it is dark upstairs and I am frightened of the dark. Will anyone go with me? 2)I will. 3)I will. 4)No thank you. (full quote)
  1)My husband is a paid consultant; there is nothing wrong with that! 2)Not if it's publicly declared. Perhaps. But if the payment were made by slipping used greenbacks in plain envelopes under the door of the men's room, how would you describe that transaction? 3)I'd say it stinks. 1)Oh, how would you know, when were you in that men's room? (full quote)
  1)Well, how do you know Colonel Mustard then? Was he one of your clients? 2)Certainly not! 1)I was asking Miss Scarlet. 2)Well, you tell him it's not true. 3)It's not true. 2)Is that true? 3)No, it's not true. 1)Ah-ha, so it is true! 4)A double negative. 2)Double negative? You mean you have photographs? (full quote)
  1(looking at pictures) Mmm, very pretty. Would you like to see these Yvette? They might shock you. 2)No, merci. I am lady. 1)Oh, how do you know what kind of pictures they are if you're such a lady? (full quote)
  1)Who had the dagger anyway? It was YOU Mrs. Peacock, wasn't it? 2)Yes, but I put it down! 3)Where? 2)In the study. 1)When? 2)I don't know. Uh, before I fainted...after I fainted...I DON'T KNOW! (full quote)
  Yes. I killed Yvette. I hated her sooo... much. Flames. Flames on the side of my face. Breathing, breathless, heaving breaths..... (full quote)
  can i interest anyone in fruit or dessert? well, in that case, shall we adjourn to the study for coffee and brandy? (full quote)
  And to make a long story short... TOO LATE! (full quote)
  1: Monkeys' brains, thought popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often found in Washington DC! 2: Is THAT what we ate? (full quote)
  Don't show my mother, The shock would kill her... (Col. Mustard) (full quote)
  And i am a homosexual. I feel no shame, or guilt in any of this. but i must keep my secret (full quote)
  Mrs. Peacock was a man!??!?! (full quote)
  Do you like kipling miss scarlet? Sure i'll eat anything. (full quote)
  1)Who would want to kill the cook? 2) Dinner wasn't that bad. 3) How cna you make joles at a time like this? 2) It's my defince meganisem. 3) Some defince. You know if I was the murder, I'd kill you next. (Every one stares at him.) 3) If, I said If (full quote)
  Sorry didn't mean to frighten any one. You're a bit late for that! (full quote)
  Why would he want to kill you in public? I believe she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her. Oh. (full quote)
  Woman 1: He threatened to kill me in public. Woman 2: Why would he want to kill you in public? Man: I believe she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her. Woman 2: Oh. (full quote)
4307 1 (Wadsworth). When I said that I was Mr. Boddy's butler, this was both true and misleading. I was once his butler, but it was not his untimely death this evening that brought my employment with him to an end. 2 (Colnel Mustard). When did it come to an end? 1 (Wadsworth). When my wife decided to end her life. She, too, is being blackmailed by this odious man who now lies dead before us. He hated my wife for the same reason that he hated all of you. He believed that you were all thoroughly un-American. 3 (Mr. Green, as the serving table breaks under him). Sorry. 1 (Wadsworth). For some reason, he thought that it was inappropriate for a senator to have a corrupt wife, for a doctor to take advantage of his patients, for a wife to emasculate her husband, and so forth. 3 (Mr. Green). But this is ridiculous! If he was such a patriotic American, why didn't he report us to the authorities? 1 (Wadsworth). He decided to put his information to good use, and make a little money out of it. What could be more American than that? 4 (Professor Plum). And what was your role in all this? 1 (Wadsworth). I was a victim, too. At least my wife was. She had friends who were...Socialists (on the verge of tears)... (sobs) Well, we all make mistakes. But Mr. Boddy threatened to give my wife's name to the House Un-American Activities Committee, unless she named them. She refused, and so he blackmailed her. We had no money, and the price of his silence was that we worked for him for nothing. We were slaves. Well to make a long story short... 2 (Colnel Mustard). Too late. 1 (Wadsworth). The suicide of my wife preyed on my mind, and rendered a sense of injustice in me. I resolved to put Mr. Boddy behind bars. I felt that the best way to do it, and to free all of you fr (full quote)
4307 1. So, it was you. I was going to expose you. 2. I know, so I choose to expose myself. 3. Please, there are ladies present. 2. You thought that Mr. Boddy was dead, but why? None of you had even met him until this evening. 1. You're Mr. Boddy! (Wadsworth laughs evilly). 4. Wait a minute! So, who did I kill? 2. My butler. 4. Oh, shucks! 2. He was expendable like all of you. I really am grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now, there is no evidence against me. (full quote)
4307 1 (Miss Scarlett). What about that motorist? What kind of information did he have? 2 (Colnel Mustard). He was my driver during the war. 3 (Wadsworth). And what was he holding over you? 2 (Colnel Mustard). He knew that I was a war propheteer. I stole essential air force radio parts, and I sold them on the black market. That was how I made all my money. That does NOT make me a murderer. 4 (Mrs. Peacock). Well, a lot of our airmen died because their radios didn't work. Was the policeman working for Mr. Boddy, too? 1 (Miss Scarlett). The cop was from Washington. He was on my payroll. I bribed him once a week so that I could carry on with business. Mr. Boddy found out...somehow. 5 (Mr. Green). And the singing telegram girl...? 6 (Professor Plum). She was my patient once. I had an affair with her. That's how I lost my license. Mr. Boddy found that out, too. (full quote)
4307 1. Was the cop working for Mr. Boddy, too? 2. The cop was from Washington. He was on my payroll. I bribed him once a week so that I could carry on with business. Mr. Boddy found out...somehow. 1. Oh, my God. 2. Oh, please. 3. And the singing telegram girl...? 4. She was my patient once. I had an affair with her. That's how I lost my license. Mr. Boddy found that out, too. (full quote)
4307 1 (whispering). Shut the door. Did anyone recognize you? 2. They must have, and not just my face. They know evry inch of my body. (Audience: Hey, Yvette, where's your accent?), and they're not the only ones. (A rope is thrown around Yvette's neck). It's you! (Audience: I'm afraid so, Yvette, but isn't it nice?) (full quote)
4307 (Colnel Mustard taps Wadsworth on the shoulder. Wadsworth screams and jumps). 1 (Colnel Mustard). Where's the key? 2 (Wadsworth). In my pocket. 3 (Professor Plum). Not that key, the key to the cupboard with the weapons. 2 (Wadsworth). You still wish me to throw it away? All: Yes! (Wadsworth opens the front door, takes a key from his pocket, and throws it out, then closes the door). What now? 4 (Mrs. White). Wadsworth, let me out. 2 (Wadsworth). No. We've got to find out who did this. We're all in this together. 5 (Mrs. Peacock). If you leave, I'll say that you killed them both. (Others agree). 4 (Mrs. White). Wadsworth, I'll make you sorry you ever started this. One day when we're alone together... 2 (Wadsworth). Mrs. White, no man in his right mind would be alone together with you. 1 (Colnel Mustard). Well, I could use a drink. (Others agree. Colnel Mustard peeks into the study). Just checking. 5 (Mrs. Peacock). Everything alright? 1 (Colnel Mustard). Yep, two corpses. Everything's fine. (full quote)
4307 Will you shut up? We're doing our best! (full quote)
4307 Remember what happened next? Mrs. Peacock took a drink. Professor Plum, you said, 'Maybe he was poisoned'. Mrs. Peacock screamed (Wadsworth screams in falsetto, then grabs Mrs. Peacock who helpfully (?) starts to scream and leads her toward the couch, then sits her down). Mr. Green... (Wadsworth slaps Mrs. Peacock). 'Well, I had to stop her screaming'. Then, more screaming. Yvette, the billiard room. We all rushed out. (full quote)
4307 1. We could expose you, six murders. 2. I hardly think it will enhance your reputation at the U.N., Professor Plum, if it's revealed that you've not only been implicated in adultery with one of your patioents, but in her death, AND the deaths of five other people. (full quote)
4307 1. Is this the right address to meet Mr. Boddy? 2. Ah, you must be Mr. green. 1. Yes. 2. SIT!...No, not you sir. (full quote)
4307 I really am grateful to you for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Save me a lot of trouble. (full quote)
4307 1. Why should the police come? Nobody's called them. 2. You mean...? 1. That's right. Now, I suggest that we stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and pretend that none of this ever happened. (full quote)
4307 Wadsworth (1): You're alive! Yvette (2): No thanks to you. Wadsworth (1): What do you mean? Yvette (2): You locked me up with the murderer, you idiot! Mrs. White (3): So, the murderer is in this room. Yvette (2): Mai oui. Mr. Green (4): But where? Yvette (2): Where? Here! We are all looking at him, or her. It's what Mrs. White said in the study. One of you is the killer. Professor Plum (5): How did you know we said that? Yvette (2): I was listening! Mrs. White (3): But why were you screaming in here all by yourself? Yvette (2): Because it also frightened me, too. I also drank zee cognac. Mon dieu. (sobs). I cannot stay in here by myself. Miss Scarlett (6): Come back to the study with us. Yvette (2): With the murderer? Colnel Mustard (7): There is safety in numbers...my dear. (full quote)
4307 While we stood here trying to stop Yvette from panicking, one of us could have stayed in the study, picked up the dagger, run down the hall, and stabbed the cook. (full quote)
4307 Wadsworth (1): But one of us wasn't here. (nasally) No. group (echoing): No. Wadsworth (nasally again): No. (full quote)
4307 (Correction to an above quote): Bon d'accord is French for 'but okay'. (full quote)
7046 1) Wadsworth? Am I right in thinking there is no one else in this house. 2) Um... no. 1) So there is someone else in this house? 2) No. Sorry. I meant no meaning yes. 1) No meaning yes? Look, I want a straight answer. Is there someone else or isn't there, yes or no? 2) No. 1) No, there is or no, there isn't? 2) Yes. 3) PLEASE!!! Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he knows what's going on here?! 4) Yeah! 5) How can we throw him outside in this weather?! 4)If we let him stay in the house he may get suspicious. 5) If we throw him outside he may get even more suspicious. 1) If I were him I'd be suspicious already. 6) Oh who cares! That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour! The police will be there by then and there are two dead bodies in the STUDY!!! ALL) SHHHHHH!!!! 1) Well, there still is some confusion as to whether there is anyone in this house. 2) I told you there isn't! 1) There isn't any confusion or there isn't anyone else? 2) Either... or both. 1) Would you just give me a straight answer? 2) Certainly... what was the question? 1) IS THERE ANYONE ELSE IN THE HOUSE?!? ALL) NO!!! (full quote)
7046 1) You want to go up in front of me? 2) Absolutely not. 1) I'm sure no one's up there. 2) Then you go in front. 1) All right. (full quote)
7046 1) Well, if anyone's got to break the ice, it might as well be me, I mean I'm used to being a hostess as part of my husband's work and it's always difficult when a group of friends get together for the first time to get acquainted, so I'm perfectly prepared to start the balling rolling, I mean I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here or what I'm doing here or what this place is about, but I'm determined to enjoy myself, very intrigued, and oh my, this soup's delicious, isn't it? 2) You say you're used to being a hostess, it's part of your husband's work? 1) Yes, well, when you're the wife of a... oh, but then we're not supposed to mention who we really are, though, heavens to betsy, I don't know why. 3) Don't you? 4) I know who you are. 5) Aren't you going to tell us? 1) How do you know who I am? 4) I work for the government, too. 6) So, you're a politians wife? 1) Yes, I am. 3) Well, come on then. Who's your husband? (full quote)
7046 1. Wait a minute! So who did I kill? 2. My butler. 1. Oh, shucks. (full quote)
7046 It's you and me, honey bunch! (full quote)
9269 I'm going home to have sex with my wife. (full quote)
9841 1-You cannot make an omelet without breaking some eggs, every cook will tell you that! 2-But look what happenend to the cook! (full quote)
9841 1-He threatened to kill me in public. 2-Why would he want to kill you in public? 3-I think she means he threatened, in public, to kill her. (full quote)
9841 A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit. (full quote)
9841 But look what happened to the cook!! (full quote)
9841 1-You know what male doctors aren't supposed to do with their patients? 2-Yeah? 1-Well, he did (full quote)
9841 So, to make a long story short-(All)-Too late!!! (full quote)
10528 But I am frightened of the dark, will anyone go with me?? (full quote)
MaggieForMargaret And just, just flames shooting out of the side of my face! (full quote)
10929 life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage. (full quote)
10929 Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone? (full quote)
11985 Guy at the door:Have you ever gave any thought to the kingdom of heaven? Mrs.Peacock:what!? GATD:Repent! The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Ms.Scarlet:You ain't just whistlin dixie! GATD:Armaggedon is almost upon on! Mr.Green:I got news for you it's already here! GATD:But your souls are in danger! Mrs.Peacock:Our lives are in danger ya beatnick! (full quote)
11985 Mr.Green:...and if you wanna know who killed Mr.Body...it was me...in the hall, with the revolver. FBIGuy:Good work Green. Mr.Green:Now if you'll excuse me...I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife! (full quote)
13055 1. shut the door. did anyone recognize you? 2. they must have, and not just my face. they know every inch of my body. and they are not the only ones. ITS YOU! (full quote)
13604 One day we'll be looking through a microscope and find ourselves looking straight into God's eyes. And the first one that blinks, loses his testicles. (full quote)
Emania 1. He threatened to kill me in public... 2. Why would he want to kill you in public? 3. I think she meant he threatened in public, to kill her. 2. Oh. (full quote)
Emania Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her *so* much, it was like flames, FLAMES on the side of my face...breathing, breathless, heaving breathes...heaving... (full quote)
Emania P: Look! W: what? P: The body’s gone! PC: what are you all staring at? G: Nothing PC: Well, who’s there? W: Nobody. PC: what do you mean? W: Nobody. No body. That’s what we mean. Mr. Boddy’s body, it’s gone! Wh: Maybe he wasn’t dead? P: He was Wh: We should’ve made sure PC: How? By cutting his head off, I suppose. Wh: That was uncalled for. S: Where is he!? W: We better look for him! (full quote)
DMichaels Communism is just a red herring. (full quote)
17692 Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one. (full quote)
17818 True!! Who are you, Perry Mason?? (full quote)
17864 He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man, I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died. (full quote)
17864 I was a victim, too; at least my wife was. She had friends who were... *choking back tears*... socialists. *all other guests gasp* Well, we all make mistakes... (full quote)
17864 Yvette, could you attend to the Colonel and give him anything he requires? *looks Yvette up and down* Within reason, that is. (full quote)
17864 (Wadsworth): Are you making moral judgements, Ms. Peacock? How, then, do you justify taking bribes, in return for delivering your husband's, Senator Peacock's, vote to certain lobbyists? (Peacock): My husband is a paid consultant, there's nothing wrong with that! (Wadsworth): Not if it's publicly declared, perhaps. But if the payment is delivered by slipping used greenbacks in plain envelopes under the door of the mensroom, how would you describe that transaction? (Scarlet):I'd say it stinks! (Peacock):Oh how would you know? When were you in that mensroom? (full quote)
17864 I can't take anymore scares! >CRASH< *chandelier smashes to the ground behind him* (full quote)
17864 I was in the hall... I know, because I was there. (full quote)
17864 (Person #1): Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone? (Person #2): How should I know? He's on everyone else's, why shouldn't he be on mine? (full quote)
17864 what the hell, I'll go first; I've had a good life. (full quote)
17864 (Mustard): You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies! (White): Flies are where men are most vulnerable. (Mustard): Right! (full quote)
17864 (Colonel): You like Kipling, Miss Scarlet? (Scarlet): Sure, I'll eat anything. (full quote)
17864 (green): So how did you know Col. Mustard works in Washington? Is he one of your clients? (Mustard): Certainly not! (green): I was talking to Miss Scarlet... (Mustard): *to Scarlet* Well you tell them it's not true! (Scarlet): It's not true. (Mustard): Is that true? (Scarlet): No, it's not true. (green): Haha! So it is true! (full quote)
17864 (Person 1): Who would want to kill the cook? (Person 2): Dinner wasn't that bad. (Person 3): How can you make jokes at a time like this? (Person 2): It's my defense mechanism! (Person 3): Some defense! If I were the killer, I'd kill you next. *others back away* I said, if.... (full quote)
18388 Wadsworth: it's like the mounties. We always get our man! Green: Mrs. Peacock was a MAN??? (full quote)
18388 1-You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs! Every cook will tell you that! 2-But look what happened to the cook!!! (full quote)
18594 Col.Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?! Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir. Col.Mustard: That's right! (full quote)
18594 Col.Mustard: Is this place for you? Wadsworth: No sir, I am merely a humble butler Col.Mustard: what exactly do you do? Wadsworth: I butle, sir (full quote)
18851 1) He threatened to send those picture to my dear old mother! The shock would have killed her! 2) Well that would have been quite an achievement since you told us she was dead already. (full quote)
18851 1) what are you afraid of? A fate worse than death? 2) No, just death. Isn't that enough? (full quote)
18851 1)what are you waiting for? Go on, I'll be right behind you. 2) That's what I'm afraid of. (full quote)
18851 1) If I were the killer, I would kill you next! If... I said if... look there is only one admitted killer here, and it most certainly is not me, it is her! 2) I've admitted nothing. 1) But you paid the blackmail. How many husbands have you had? 2) Mine or other womens'? 1)yours. 2)5 1)5? 2) Yes, just the 5. Husbands should be like kleenex- soft, strong, and disposable. 1) But you lure men to their death, like a spider with flies. 2) Flies like men are most vulnerable. 1)That's right! (full quote)
18851 1)But that was your second husband. your first husband also disappeared. 2)That was his job. He was an illusionist. 1) But he never reappeared! 2) He wasn't a very good illusionist. (full quote)
19447 Telegram girl: datatatata...I am your singing telegram. Boom. She gets shot! (full quote)
20205 It's all about life after death. After death, you get a life! ~Mrs. White (full quote)
20947 1: Well, where is it? 2: Oh, you mean the body? 1: I meant the phone. What body? 2: Oh there's no body. There's nobody in the study. (full quote)
20947 1: Can I use your phone? 2: Of course you may, Officer. You can use the one in the l- No... You could use the one in the stu- No... Would you be so kind as to wait in the... in- in the uh- um, library? (full quote)
20947 1: I'll book you for false arrest! And wrongful imprisonment! And obstructing an officer in the course of his duty! And murder! 2: what do you mean 'murder'?! 1: I just said it so you would open the door! (full quote)
20947 1: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone? 2: I don't know. He's on everyone else's, why shouldn't he be on mine? (full quote)
20947 Wadsworth: It's just like the mounties. We always get our man. Mr. Green: MRS. PEACOCK WAS A MAN?!?! (full quote)
20947 PP: The door's locked! Mr. G: I KNOW! PP: So unlock it! Mr. G: where's the key? Wadsworth: The key's gone! PP: Never mind about the key! Unlock the door! Mr. G: I CAN'T UNLOCK THE DOOR WITHOUT THE KEY!!!!!!!! (full quote)
20947 Frankly, Miss Scarlet, I don't give a damn. (full quote)
20947 I'm only a guest! (full quote)
20947 1: And there are TWO DEAD BODIES IN THE STUDY!!! group: SHHHHHHHH!!!!! (full quote)
20947 Prof. Plum: Never mind about the key! Unlock the door! Mr. G: I CAN'T UNLOCK THE DOOR WITHOUT THE KEY!! (full quote)
20947 1: Is this place for you? 2: Indeed no, sir. I'm merely a humble butler. 1: And what exactly do you do? 2: I buttle, sir. 2: Which means what? (full quote)
20947 1: Is this place for our host? 2: No sir, for the seventh guest, Mr. Boddy. 3: I thought Mr. Boddy WAS our host. (full quote)
20947 They're shooting at us! (full quote)
20947 1: Sorry, didn't mean to frighten anyone! 2: You're a bit late for that! (full quote)
20947 Frankly, Scarlet, I don't gove a damn. (full quote)
20947 1: There's still one thing I don't understand. 2: ONE thing?? (full quote)
20947 1: Hello, have you given any thought to the kingdom of heaven? 2: what?? 1: REPENT. The kingdom of heaven is at hand! 3: You ain't just whistlin' Dixie! 1: Armageddon is almost upon us! 4: I've got news for you: It's already here! 2: GO AWAY!! 1: But your souls are in danger! 2: Our LIVES are in danger, ya beat-nick! (full quote)
20947 1: Oh, that guy doesn't matter! Let him stay, locked up for another half an hour! The police will be there by then, and there are TWO DEAD BODIES IN THE STUDY!!!! group: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (full quote)
20947 Yvette: But it eez dark upstairs, and I am frightened of zee dark. Will anyone go weez me? Plum: I will. Mustard: I will. green: No thank you. (full quote)
26686 1: He had always threatened to kill me in public. 2: Why would he want to kill you in public? 3: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her. 2: Oh. (full quote)
26686 1: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone? 2: I don't know! He's on everyone else's, why shouldn't he be on mine? (full quote)
26686 1: Why has the car stopped? 2: It's frightened. (full quote)
26686 1: But he was your second husband. your first husband also disappeared. 2: But that was his job. He was an illusionist. 1: But he never reappeared! 2: He wasn't a very good illusionist. (full quote)
26686 1: [Name], you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur. 2: Yes, and now I work for the United Nations. 1: So your work has not changed. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1-And are you the host? #2-Me, sir? No, I'm just the humble butler. #1-And what exactly is it you do here? #2-I buttle, sir. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1-This is war Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, every cook will tell you that. #2-But look what happened to the cook!! (full quote)
29134 Can I interest anyone in fruit or dessert? (full quote)
Larryjp Communism was just a red herring. (full quote)
Larryjp Monkey's brains, while popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often found in Washington, D.C.! (full quote)
39452 Mr. body's body is gone. (full quote)
43651 1)There's no need to shout. 2) I'M NOT SHOUTING....ALRIGHT I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOU (gets hit on the head with a candlesitick and he falls to the floor) (full quote)
  One plus two plus one plus one. (full quote)
  Take it, Mr. Slave! (full quote)
  Husbands are like tissue, soft, strong and disposible. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Just checking. #2- Everything alright? #1- Yep, two corpses everything's fine (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Just checking. #2- Everything alright? #1- Yep, two corpses every thing's fine (full quote)
Marvin Acme Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not 'one plus TWO plus one plus one'. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- You see. It's like the mounties. We always get our man. #2- Mrs. Peacock was a man ?! (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Why is the car stopped? #2- It's frightened, (full quote)
Marvin Acme Yvette will you attend to the Colonel and give him anything he desires ... whithin reasin that is. (full quote)
Marvin Acme Yvette will you attend to the Colonel and give him anything he desires ... within reason that is. (full quote)
Marvin Acme Mr. body dead! AGAIN. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- But it is dark upstairs, and I am frightened of ze dark. Will anyone go with me? #2- I will. #3- I will. #4- No, thank you. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Do you like Kipling Miss Scarlet? #2- Sure I'll eat anything. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Three murders. #2- Six all together. #1- This is getting serious. (full quote)
47692 1) I didn't realize you two knew eachother. 2)We don't. (full quote)
47692 WILL YOU STOP THAT!!! No. (full quote)
47692 1)Why are you shooting that thing at us? 2)To get you out! 1) You could have shot us, I could've been killed! (full quote)
47692 And then the door bell rang! (doorbell rings) (full quote)
fabfive77 1) I've admitted nothing. 2) How many husbands have you had? 1) Mine or other women's? 2) Yours! 1) Five. Yes, just the five. 2) You lure men to their death like a spider with flies! 1) Flies are where men are most vulnerable! 2) If it wasn't you, then who was it? Who had the dagger? (full quote)
smittenkitten114 It's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead I have a life. (full quote)
taylortucek 1) A monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, is not often to be found in Washington DC! 2) Is that what we ate?...Blurp (gagging sound). (full quote)
phstorm08 GREAT! We'll all go to the chair! (full quote)
phstorm08 GREAT! We'll all go to the chair! (full quote)