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Spaceballs - 1987 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  You have the ring. And I see your Scwartz is as big as mine....Now let's see how ell you handle it. (full quote)
892 I'm surrounded by assholes! (full quote)
  we're not doing it for the money.........we're doing it for sh** loads of money (full quote)
3419 Dark Helmet:Who is he? Sanders:He's an asshole. Dark Helmet:I know that.What's his name? Sanders:That is his name sir.Asshole.Major Asshole. Dark Helmet:And his cousin? Sanders:He's an Asshole too sir.Gunner's mate 1st class Philip Asshole. Dark Helmet:How many Assholes have we got on this ship anyhow? Crew:Yo! Dark Helmet:I knew it.I'm surrounded by Assholes.(pulls down helmet)Keep firing Assholes! (full quote)
  COL. SANDURZ: Once we kidnap the Princess we can force her father, King Roland, to give us the combination to the airshield, thereby destroying Planet Druidia and saving Planet Spaceball. DARK HELMET: (to crew) Everybody got that? (to Sandurz) Good! When will the Princess be married? SANDURZ: Within the hour, sir. HELMET: Well, I hope it's a long ceremony cuz it's gonna be a short honeymoon! (They laugh. Helmet drinks his coffee) Mmmm! Mmmmm!! MMMMM!!! (Sandurz slaps Helmet on the back, spewing coffee all over the floor) Hot! Too hot! (full quote)
4064 Ready Kafka? (full quote)
4064 Or pizza is gonna send out for you! (full quote)
4064 Get back here you fat bearded bitch! (full quote)
4064 It's my industrial strength hair dryer! And I can't live without it! (full quote)
4064 This is an unlisted wall! (full quote)
4064 1) Cancel the three-ring circus. secure all animals in the zoo! 2) Ahh give me that you petty excuse for an officer 1) Sir, hadn't you buckle up? 1) Ahh buckle this. Ludicras speed, GO!!!! (full quote)
4066 I'm my own best friend (full quote)
3225 Whoa hold it, time! Any minute now, those guys are gonna make a major U turn and make us ALL DEAD! (full quote)
3225 1) Will you marry me? 2) Well, let me think about it...Yes! (full quote)
3419 1:Hello Lonestar. 2:Sorry wrong switch. 3:Hello Vinne.What do you want? 1:No,no,no.It's not what I want.It's what he wants. 2&3:PIZZA THE HUT! 4:Well if it isn't Lonestar and his sidekick Puke. 2:That's Barf 4:Barf,Puke,whatever.Where's my money? 3:Don't worry Pizza,you'll have it by next week. 4:No no.I gotta have it by tomorrow. 3:A hundred thousand Spacebucks? By tomorrow. 4:A hundred thousand?! Ha ha.No way.You forgot late charges which brings it up to...um... one million Spacebucks. 3:A million?! That's unfair! 4:Unfair to the payer,but enough to the payee.But you're gonna pay it or else! 2:Or else what? 4:Tell 'em Vinnie. 1:Or else Pizza is gonna send out for you! (full quote)
1335 Now you hear this, whoever you are! You wil not touch that luggage! And furthermore, clean up this pigsty! I will not be rescued in such filth! (full quote)
1335 That is my royal hair dryer. AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!!! (full quote)
4294 what's the matter Colonel Sanders?? chicken?? (full quote)
4396 Officer: You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles! (full quote)
4396 Yogurt: I am the keeper of a greater magic. A power known throughout the universe as the . . . Barf: The force?! Yogurt: No, da Schwartz! (full quote)
4396 President Skroob: I'll be down immediately. Cmdr. Zircon: Shall I have Snotty beam you down? President Skroob: I don't know about that beaming stuff. Is it safe? Cmdr. Zircon: Oh, yes. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful. President Skroob: Alright, I'll take a shot at it. What the Hell, it works on Star Trek. (full quote)
4396 1) I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. 2) What does that make us? 1) Absolutely nothing, which is what you are about to become. (full quote)
4396 I'm sorry i had to make a pit stop.. i was so excited i couldnt hold my oil (full quote)
4396 Hey wait, you forgot to get Married.. will you stop? (full quote)
4396 1) Comb the desert! 2) Aye Aye Sir Combing the desert! (full quote)
4396 1) Yes and I'm Glad Glad Glad Glad. 2) I wonder if she is Glad (full quote)
4396 Why didn't someone tell me my ass was so big?! (full quote)
4396 Forget it, forget it.. no more beaming.. this time I'm going to walk! (full quote)
4396 careful you idoit i said across her nose not up it! (full quote)
4396 Oh were moving alright.. backwards (full quote)
4424 We can't stop...It's too dangerous (full quote)
3419 Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland? (full quote)
3419 Any minute now the Spaceballs are gonna make a major U-turn,head back this way, and make us all dead!! (full quote)
4550 what's your name? Barf. No, what's your full name. Barfolemew. (full quote)
4564 Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. (full quote)
3419 That was my virgin alarm! It's programmed to go off before you do! (full quote)
4564 Helmet)Say good-bye to your two best friends and I dont mean your pals in the Winnabago (full quote)
4564 Guard)what are you doing? Lone Star)The Vulcon Neck Pinch Guard)No,no its lower where the neck meets the shoulderblade Lone Star)Like this? Guard)Yea (Falls) Lone Star)Thanks (full quote)
4564 We were lost and then Joe starts felling around on all the trees. He says I know we on Pluto. We said how can you tell, he says from the bark you dummy from the bark. (full quote)
4564 Preacher)We are gathered her today to witness Princess Vespa, going right past the alter down the ramp and out the door. (full quote)
  NO SIR! I DIDN'T SEE YOU playING WITH YOUR DOLLS AGAIN! (full quote)
  ABANDON SHIP!!! ABANDON SHIP!!! women AND MAWGS FIRST!!! (full quote)
  HELMET: YOGURT! YOGURT! I HATE YOGURT! Even with strawberries! SANDURZ: I'll call the attack squad, sir! HELMET: NO! We can't go in there! Yogurt has the Schwartz! It's far too powerful! SANDURZ: But sir, what about your ring? Don't you have the Schwartz, too? HELMET: Yeah, but he got the upside, I got the downside. There's two sides to every Schwartz. SANDURZ: Well how'll we go in there and get her? HELMET: (slams his visor)WE will not go in THERE. SHE will come out to US! (full quote)
  Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland? (full quote)
  It's funny, she doesn't look Druish. (full quote)
  It's Mega-Maid! She's gone from suck to blow! (full quote)
  (Lounge) DOT: Where're you going? VESPA: I'm going to tell him off once and for all! DOT: Wait a minute! We'll need him to get us out of here! (Cockpit) LONE STAR: She called me an idiot! I'm gonna go back there and explain a few things to her! (Lounge) DOT: Besides, he's got a sexy voice. He could be cute! (Cockpit) BARF: Wait a minute, you haven't seen what she looks like! LONE STAR: Oh, I know what she looks like! If you've seen one princess, you've seen 'm all! (Lounge) VESPA: Cute! I know these space bums! They're all alike! Fat, ugly... (Cockpit) LONE STAR: Buck-toothed, knock-kneed,... (Lounge) VESPA:...beer-swilling pigs! (Storms out) (Cockpit) LONE STAR:...horse-faced space dogs! (Storms out) BARF: (tries to get up but forgets to unbuckle his seat belt) Yeah, but...OOOHH! (unbuckles himself) That's gonna leave a mark! (full quote)
  funny! she dosen't look druish! (full quote)
  you've seen one princess, you've seen em' all! cute! i know these space bums, they're all alike! fat, ugly... buck-toothed, knock-kneed... beer swilling pigs! horse-faced space dogs! well normaly i don't...ow! that's gonna leave a mark! (full quote)
  I see your Schwartz is a big as mine (full quote)
  Funny! She dosen't look Druish! (full quote)
  shall i have snotty beam you down sir? i don't know about that beaming stuff. is it safe? yes. snotty beamed me twice last night. it was wonderful. alright, i'll give it a shot. what the h---. it works on star trek (full quote)
  So you have the ring, and I can see your schwarts is as big as mine. (full quote)
3225 1) what the Hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? 2)Now, you're looking at now, sir. Everything that is happening now, is happening now. 1) what happened to then? 2) Not now! We're at now now 1) Go back to then 2) We can't 1) Why not 2) We missed it 1) When 2) Just now 1) When will then be now? 2) Soon (full quote)
3419 Dearly beloved,we are gathered here on this most joyous occasion to witness Princess Vespa,daughter of King Roland(Vespa runs past altar and down ramp)going right past the altar,heading down the ramp,and out the door!!! (full quote)
3419 You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles! (full quote)
3419 You listen to me! On this ship you are to refer to me as Idiot,not You Captain! I mean....you know what I mean. (full quote)
3419 I'm your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. (full quote)
3419 Sanders:We're approaching Planet Druida sir. Dark Helmet: Good I'll call Spaceball City and notify President Skroob immediatly!(picks up phone) Rico:I already called him sir. He knows everything. Dark Helmet:(slams down phone) What?! You went over my helmet?! Rico:Well not exactly over it sir...uh..more to the side.I'll always call you first.It'll never happen again! Never! Never! (Helmet puts on Schwartz ring)Rico:Oh shit!!! No no no no no please no no please no not that!!!! Helmet:(pulls down face mask)Yes that!(aims green ray at Rico's crotch) Rico:Waoooooo! Owwwwwwwwww! Waooooooooo!(guards come and take Rico away,who is limping in pain) (full quote)
3419 Water my ass! Bring this guy some Pepto-Bismol! (full quote)
3419 Spaceballs?! Forget it,too dangerous! Besides,I'm already numero uno on Dark Helmet's hit list. (full quote)
3419 Barf:One million Spacebuck! We'll be able to pay off Pizza the Hut! Lonestar:Gimme paw! (both howl like dogs) (full quote)
3419 Helmet:(does not realize he's looking at the coffee machine)What's the matter with this thing,what's all that churning and bubbling? You call that a radar screen?! Sanders:No sir,we call it(points at sign) Mr.Coffee!(timer dings) care for some? Helmet:Yes!(Sanders pours some coffee)I always have coffee when I watch radar!You know that! Sanders:Of course I do,sir! Helmet:Everybody knows that! Crew:(covers up their privates)Of course we do sir! (full quote)
3419 Forget the ring! The ring is pumpkin! I found it in a cracker Jack box! (full quote)
3419 Called me an idiot?! I'm going back there and explaining a few things to her! (full quote)
4619 1)I don't give a damn who it is, but I'm marryin somebody today. Who the hell are you? 2)Barf. 1)Your full name! 2)Barfalloveryou. 1) Are you the one that's gettin married? 2) no. 1) Then sit down! OK. The Short, Short Version. Do you? 3) Yes. 1) You? 4) Yes! 1) Good, your married. Kiss her. (full quote)
4619 1) Please, you must save her. I'll give you anything! 2) Anything? 3) OK, we'll do it for....one million space bucks! 1)A MILLION??? 2) Oh, we're startin to fade here. 1) OK I'll do it. Just find her. 3) OK, you got it, one princess for one million space bucks. 1) You've got to save her....and if all possible, try to save the car. (full quote)
4619 1)Barf.(after a few seconds). Barf.(few more) BARF!!!!2)Always when I'm eating.(goes to the front)What can I do you for, boss? (full quote)
4619 One, two, three, four, five? That's amazing, I have the same combination on my luggage. (full quote)
4619 Lonestar) Just what we need. A Druish Princess. Barf)Funny, she doesn't look Druish. (full quote)
5221 I always have coffee when I watch radar - you know that! Course I do, sir! Everybody knows that! OF COURSE WE DO, SIR!!! (full quote)
5539 Cololnel Sanders:How about you two? You found anything yet? Black Gaurd:Man, we aint found shit! (full quote)
5906 The Apes: what are those things coming out of her nose? --SPACEBALLS? Oh, shit, there goes the planet. (full quote)
5955 Water my ASS get this guys some Pepto bismol!!!!! (full quote)
5961 Evil always wins because good is stupid (full quote)
6041 Say goodbye to your two best friends, ... and I don't mean the ones in the Winnebago!! (full quote)
6041 1) The combination to the Air Shield is ... one. 2) One! 3) One! 1) Two. 2) Two! 3) Two! 1) Three. 2) Three! 3) Three! 1) Four. 2) Four! 3) Four! *pause* 1) Five. 2) Five! 3) Five! 2) So the combination to the Air Shield is one two three four five!! 3) One two three four five!?! That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard!! That's the kind of combination some idiot would have on his luggage!! (full quote)
6041 1) Ok Barf. Set 'er down for a minute. What in the hell do you have in this thing?!? What is this?? I said take only what you need to survive! 2) It's my industrial strength hair dryer ... and I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!!!! (full quote)
6041 1) What are you? 2) I'm a Mog. 1) A what?? 2) A Mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. 1) What's your name? 2) Barf! 3) Not in here mister! This is a mercedes! (full quote)
6041 1) Alright!! Here we go!! The short short version!! Do you? 2) Yes. 1) Do you? 3) Yes. 1) good. You're married. Kiss her! (full quote)
6041 1) Water ... water! 2) Water ... water! 3) Oil ... oil! 4) Room service ... room service! (full quote)
6408 come back you fat bearded bitch! (full quote)
6482 I'm surrounded by assholes (full quote)
6482 I hate rasberry, only one man would dare give me the rasberry, LONESTAR (full quote)
clarkins May the Schwartz be with you. (full quote)
6669 only one man would dare give me the rasberry...LONESTAR! (full quote)
6669 It's mega-maid. She's gone from suck to blow! (full quote)
6890 im a mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend (full quote)
6890 1.whats your name? 2. Barf 1. No what's your full name? 2. Barfolomew (full quote)
6989 You idiots! These aren't them. You captured their stunt doubles! (full quote)
7121 I'm a MOG. Half man half dog. I'm my own best friend. (full quote)
7174 (1.)When will then be now? (2.)Soon. (full quote)
8016 I'll have the cleavage, err.. I mean the soup. (full quote)
8188 She's gone from suck to blow!!! (full quote)
8188 I'm a mawg: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend (full quote)
8188 I'm a mawg: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend (full quote)
8188 Just what we need... a Druish princess (full quote)
8570 1)Sir...sir 2)what? 1)Are we being to literal? 2)No, you fool. We were told to comb the desert so were combing it! Found anything yet? 3)Nothing yet, sir. 2)what about you? 4)Not a thing sir. 2)what about you guys? 5)We ain't found Shit!!! (full quote)
8709 Funny she doesn't look druish! (full quote)
8810 When does this happen in the movie? Now, your looking at now sir, Everything that happens now is happening now. what happened to then? We missed it. When? Just now. We're at now, now. Go back to then. When? Now! Now? Now! I can't. Why? We missed it. When? Just now, sir. When will then be now? Soon, sir. (full quote)
8867 You idiot! You've captured their stunt doubles! (full quote)
8867 I'm a mawg. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. (full quote)
8890 Dark Helmet-CAREFUL YOU IDIOT! I SAID ACROSS HER NOSE NOT UP IT!Gunner-Sorry sir, doing my best. Dark Helmet(to Col. Sanders)-Who made that man a gunner? Major Asshole-I did sir. He's my cousin. Dark Helmet(to Col. Sanders)-Who is he? Col. Sanders-He's an asshole sir. Dark Helmet-I KNOW THAT! WHAT'S HIS NAME! Col. Sanders-That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole. Dark Helmet-And his cousin? Col. Sanders-He's an Asshole too sir, Gunners Mate First Class Phillip Asshole. Dark Helmet(To everybody)-HOW MANY ASSHOLES WE GOT ON THIS SHIP ANYHOW?! Assholes(Most of Crew stands up)-Yo!!!! Dark Helmet-I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes! KEEP FIRING ASSHOLES!!!! (full quote)
8890 SANDURZ-We're closing in on them sir. In less than a minute, Lone Star will be ours. HELMET-(NOTE-HELMET IS DOWN)Good. Prepare to attack. SANDURZ-PREPARE TO ATTACK! HELMET-On the count of three. One...two...(Lone Star blasts out)LATE!!(FLIPS UP HELMET)WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE THEY! SANDURZ(terrified)-I don't know sir, they must have hyperjets on that thing! HELMET-AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON THIS THING A QUESINART?! SANDURZ No, sir. HELMET Well, find them catch them. SANDURZ Yes, sir. (over loudspeaker) Prepare ship for light speed. HELMET No, no, no, light speed is too slow. SANDURZ Light speed, too slow? HELMET Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed. (ALL gasp) SANDURZ (gasp) Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it. HELMET What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz, chicken? SANDURZ (in high pitch) Prepare ship, (back to normal) prepare ship for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the 3-ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo.... HELMET (takes the microphone) GIMME THAT YOU PETTY EXCUSE FOR AN OFFICER! SANDURZ sits in his seat and buckles up. HELMET (in microphone) Now hear this, ludicrous speed.... SANDURZ Sir, hadn't you better buckle up. HELMET Aah, buckle this. (in microphone) Ludicrous speed, GO! The ship takes off. The display lights up: Light Speed, Ridiculous Speed, and then Ludicrous Speed. Helmet is being pulled back. HELMET WHOOAA! WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET! INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE Spaceball 1 passes over them leaving a plaid shadow. BARF What the hell was that? LONE STARR (AMAZED) Spaceball 1. BARF (JUST AS AMAZED) They've gone to plaid. INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE HELMET WE PASSED THEM! STOP THIS THING! SANDURZ We can't stop. It's too dangerous. We have to (full quote)
9055 Funny, she doesn't look Drewish (full quote)
9066 Evil always defeats, because good is dumb (full quote)
9066 Voice: 9,8,6, Dark Helmet: SIX! what HAPPENED TO SEVEN! Voice: Just kidding. 7,6,5,4,3,2,1. Have a nice day. 3 Crewman: Thank you (full quote)
9126 -Sir, we've been jammed. -what kind of jam? -Tastes like strawberry, sir. -Strawberry jam? There's only one man that uses strawberry jam. LONESTAR!!! (full quote)
9206 Dark Helmet: (after breathing heavily in his mask) I can't breathe in this thing! (full quote)
9206 LONE STARR: Here, you hold 'em off. I'll get the door. VESPA: I ain't shootin' this thing. I hate guns. (A TROOPER fires at VESPA'S hair. The laser blast hits it.) DOT: Ah. VESPA: My hair. He shot my hair. Son of a bitch. (cocks gun) (VEPSA walks toward the TROOPERS. She starts firing at the them. She hits every one of them. BARF and LONE STARR look up.) BARF: Holy shit. VESPA: (blows the barrel) How was that. LONE STARR: Not bad. BARF: Not bad for a girl. DOT: Hey, that was pretty good for Rambo (full quote)
9263 The cobination is 1..(1) (1)2...2...2...3...3...3..4...4....4..5...5..5. So the combination is 1 2 3 4 5!!!thats ridiculoouse thats the combination an idiot wouls have on his luggage (full quote)
9711 1.)Waitress! what did he have? 2.) Oh, he had the special. 1.) The special? That's what I got. Change my order to the soup! 3.) Good call. (full quote)
9711 Waitress: Hey! Watch where you're putting that thing! Customer at counter: Sorry, toots. It's got a mind of its own. (full quote)
9711 Prominent bumper sticker in movie: We brake for nobody (full quote)
9711 This ship's too long; I had to run. If I walked the movie would be over. (full quote)
9711 1.) Hello, Charlene. 2.) I'm Marlene. 1.) Hello Marlene. 3.) I'm Charlene. 1.) Chew your gum. (full quote)
9891 1. I'm not using this thing i hate guns! (BLAST) My hair!! He shot shot my hair!! That son of bitch. (shoots at soldiers who shot her hair) (full quote)
9891 The ring is bupkis. I found it in a cracker jack box! (full quote)
9891 1.What the hell am I lookin' at? When does this happen in the movie? 2.Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now. 1.What happened to then? 2.We passed it. 1.When? 2.Just now. We're at now, now. 1.Go back to then. 2.When? 1.Now. 2.Now? 1.Now! 2.I can't. 1.Why? 2.We missed it. 1.When? 2.Just now. 1.When will then be now? 2.Soon. 1.How soon? 3.Sir! 1.What? 3.We've identified their location! 1.Where? 3.It's the moon of Vega. 2.Good work. Set a course and prepare for our arrival! 1.When? 3.Nineteen hundred hours, sir! 2.By high noon tomorrow, they will be our prisoners! 1.Who?! (Helmet slams down) (full quote)
9942 Shall i have snotty beam you down sir? (full quote)
  Dark Helmet: Find Anything? Soldier: We ain't found shit! (full quote)
  I'm a mog half man half dog I'm my own best friend (full quote)
  have you guys found anything. NO sir. How about you two over there? Nothing yet sir. How about you two? We aint found shit (full quote)
  Too bad this isn't the Wide World of Sports. (full quote)
  Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean the ones in the winebago. (full quote)
  SANDURZ-We're closing in on them sir. In less than a minute, Lone Star will be ours. HELMETGood. Prepare to attack. SANDURZ-PREPARE TO ATTACK! HELMET-On the count of three. One...two...(Lone Star blasts out)WAIT!!(FLIPS UP HELMET)WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE THEY! SANDURZ-I don't know sir, they must have hyperjets on that thing! HELMET-AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON THIS THING A CUISINART?! (THIS HAS BEEN CORRECTED FOR YOU DUMBASSES THAT CAN'T SPELL. I JUST COPIED ONE, AND CAHGNED ONE WORD. ITS CUISINART. LETS SAY IT TOGETHER) (full quote)
  HELMET: So, Lone Starr, if there is one thing I despise, it is a fair fight. But if I must, then I must. Put her there. (Helmet holds hand out for handshake. Lone Starr reaches over to shake Helmet's hand, but Helmet pulls the ring of the Schwartz off of Lone Starr's finger.) HELMET: The ring! The ring! I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book! what's with you man, come on?! Oh here, let me give it back to you. (throws the ring through a grating in the floor) Oh! You fell for that one too! I can't believe it, man! (full quote)
  I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! (full quote)
  1)Use the shawrts. 2)But I lost the ring! 1) forget the ring. The ring is bubkis. I got it out of a cracker Jack box. (full quote)
  careful you idiot! I said across her nose! Not up it! (full quote)
  Who made that man a gunner?! I did sir, he's my cousin. Who's he? He's an asshole sir. I know that! whats his name?! That is his name sir, Major Asshole. How many assholes do I working for me anyhow! YO! I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes! (full quote)
  If you can read this you don't need glasses (full quote)
  mmm, i bet she gives great helmet! (full quote)
  My hair! He shot my hair! Son of a $#%@& !! (full quote)
  Barf-Oh god seems like we're too late, i'll just put it in reverse and we'll get outta here. Lonestar-Barf, nooo, bad, B-But we'll never get there, they'll pick us up on their radar. L-No. B-Yeah L-No not if we jam 'em (full quote)
  I'm a Mog. Half man...half dog. I'm my own best friend. (full quote)
  Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb (full quote)
  PIZZA THE HUT! (full quote)
  DH: what the hell am I looking at? WHEN does THIS happen in the movie? KS: Now. You're looking at now sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now. DH: what happened to then? KS: We past that. DH: When? KS: Just now. We're at now now. DH: Go back to then! KS: When? DH: Now. KS: Now? DH: Now! KS: I can't! DH: Why? KS: We missed it. DH: When? KS: JUst now. DH: When will then, be now? KS: Soon. DH: How soon? OFFICER: Sir! DH: what? OFFICER: We've contacted them on the radar! DH: Where? OFFICER: It's the moon of Vega. KS: Good work, set a course and prepare for our arrival. DH: When?! KS: By high noon tomorrow they will be our prisoners. DH: WHOOOO!!! (helmet slams shut.) (full quote)
  Dark Helmet: Did you see any thing Colonel:No I did not see you playing with your dolls again (full quote)
  My hair. HE SHOT MY hair! Son of a Bit** (full quote)
  Vespa:father is that you? Dark Helmet: of course it is, i garantee it. would i lie? (vespa runs to what she thinks is her father and dark helmet appears then vespa faints and falls in his arms) Dark Helmet: FOOOOLLLED YOU!!! (full quote)
  We ain't found shit!! (full quote)
  Haha, fooled you! (full quote)
  They've gone plaid! (full quote)
  There is something i must tell you, i am your father's brother's newphew's former roommate...what does that make us.. absolutly nothing, which is what you are about to become. (full quote)
  Come back you fat bearded bitch! (full quote)
  Raspberry.I hate raspberry!...only one man dare give me the raspberry, Lonestar! (full quote)
  (dark helmet): Now hear this, Ludacris speed. (Col.Sanders): Sir, You'd better buckle up. (dark helmet): Ehh buckle this! Ludacris speed GO!....ahhh! what have I done! my brains are going into my feet! (barf): what the hell was that?! (lonestar): Spaceball 1. (barf): they've gone to plaid! (dark helmet): We've passed them! stop this thing! (col. sanders): we cant stop its too dangerous! (dark helmet): Bullshit! just stop this thing. i order you STOPP!! (full quote)
  Who's he? He's an asshole, sir. I know that; what's his name? That is his name, sir, Asshole, Major Asshole! And his cousin? He's an asshole too sir, First class Phillip Asshole. How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow? YO! I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes. Keep firing, assholes! (full quote)
  sir, it seems that we've been... jammed! -raspberry, I hate rasberries. only one person would dare give me raspberry.... LONESTAR!! (full quote)
  I'm a mawg..half man..half dog...I'm my own best friend. (full quote)
  Dark Helmet: Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good, is dumb. (full quote)
  Prepare for metamorphysis. Are you ready Kafka? (full quote)
  Hot! Too hot! (full quote)
  Keep firing, Assholes! (full quote)
  It's Mega-Maid! She's gone from suck to blow! (full quote)
  At last, we meet for the first time for the last time (Lone Star) (full quote)
  Dark helmet:theres only one person who would dare give my the raspberry..Lonestar (full quote)
  I bet she gives great helmet... (full quote)
  Barf: We can't get through without the radar picking us up. Lonestar: uh uh. Barf: uh huh. Lonestar: uh uh. Barf: uh huh. Lonestar: uh uh, not if we JAM IT! Barf: your right! and when your right, your right, and you,...your always right! (full quote)
  Ooooo, you're right. And when you're right, you're right. And you? You're always right. (full quote)
  yu (full quote)
  We ain't found shit! (full quote)
  oh great a Jreuish Princess (full quote)
  HOLY SHIT (full quote)
  No sir, I didn't see you playing with your toys again! (full quote)
  1)I'm your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roomate. 2)What's that make us? 1) Nothing. (full quote)
  President Skroob! (full quote)
  Before I kill you there this something I need to tell you. I'm your fathers brothers nephews cusins formal room mate. (full quote)
1335 1)Now hear this! The first thing we're gonna do when we land is get rid of the matched luggage! 2)Now you hear this, whoever you are! You will not touch the matched luggage! And furthermore, I want this pig-sty cleaned up! I will not be rescued in such filth. (full quote)
2049 #1-what the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? #2-Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now. #1-what happened to then? #2-We passed then. #1-When? #2-Just now. We're at now, now. #1-Go back to then. #2-When? #1-Now. #2-Now? #1-Now. #2-I can't. #1-Why? #2-We missed it. #1-When? #2-Just now. #1-When will then be now? #2-Soon. #1-How soon? (full quote)
agwendolyn And now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb! (full quote)
agwendolyn It's not that we're afraid, far from it. It's just we got this thing about death - it's not us (full quote)
4619 Well I hope it's a long ceremony, cause it's gonna be a short honeymoon!!!!!*evil laughing, followed by the spitting out of hot coffee*HOT!!!!!TOO....HOT!!!!! (full quote)
QuickStopRST Chew your gum! (full quote)
QuickStopRST what's the matter, Col. Sanderz- CHICKEN??? (full quote)
8890 SANDURZ-We're closing in on them sir. In less than a minute, Lone Star will be ours. HELMET-(NOTE-HELMET IS DOWN)Good. Prepare to attack. SANDURZ-PREPARE TO ATTACK! HELMET-On the count of three. One...two...(Lone Star blasts out)LATE!!(FLIPS UP HELMET)WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE THEY! SANDURZ(terrified)-I don't know sir, they must have hyperjets on that thing! HELMET-AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON THIS THING A QUESINART?! SANDURZ No, sir. HELMET Well, find them catch them. SANDURZ Yes, sir. (over loudspeaker) Prepare ship for light speed. HELMET No, no, no, light speed is too slow. SANDURZ Light speed, too slow? HELMET Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed. (ALL gasp) SANDURZ (gasp) Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it. HELMET What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz, chicken? SANDURZ (in high pitch) Prepare ship, (back to normal) prepare ship for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the 3-ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo.... HELMET (takes the microphone) GIMME THAT YOU PETTY EXCUSE FOR AN OFFICER! SANDURZ sits in his seat and buckles up. HELMET (in microphone) Now hear this, ludicrous speed.... SANDURZ Sir, hadn't you better buckle up. HELMET Aah, buckle this. (in microphone) Ludicrous speed, GO! The ship takes off. The display lights up: Light Speed, Ridiculous Speed, and then Ludicrous Speed. Helmet is being pulled back, screaming all the way. HELMET WHOOAA! WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET! INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE Spaceball 1 passes over them leaving a plaid shadow. BARF What the hell was that? LONE STARR (AMAZED) Spaceball 1. BARF (JUST AS AMAZED) They've gone to plaid. INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE HELMET WE PASSED THEM! STOP THIS THING! SANDURZ We can't stop. It's too (full quote)
8890 SANDURZ-We're closing in on them sir. In less than a minute, Lone Star will be ours. HELMET-(NOTE-HELMET IS DOWN)Good. Prepare to attack. SANDURZ-PREPARE TO ATTACK! HELMET-On the count of three. One...two...(Lone Star blasts out)LATE!!(FLIPS UP HELMET)WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE THEY! SANDURZ(terrified)-I don't know sir, they must have hyperjets on that thing! HELMET-AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON THIS THING A QUESINART?! SANDURZ No, sir. HELMET Well, find them catch them. SANDURZ Yes, sir. (over loudspeaker) Prepare ship for light speed. HELMET No, no, no, light speed is too slow. SANDURZ Light speed, too slow? HELMET Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed. (ALL gasp) SANDURZ (gasp) Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it. HELMET What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz, chicken? SANDURZ (in high pitch) Prepare ship, (back to normal) prepare ship for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the 3-ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo.... HELMET (takes the microphone) GIMME THAT YOU PETTY EXCUSE FOR AN OFFICER! SANDURZ sits in his seat and buckles up. HELMET (in microphone) Now hear this, ludicrous speed.... SANDURZ Sir, hadn't you better buckle up. HELMET Aah, buckle this. (in microphone) Ludicrous speed, GO! The ship takes off. The display lights up: Light Speed, Ridiculous Speed, and then Ludicrous Speed. Helmet is being pulled back, screaming all the way. HELMET WHOOAA! WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET! INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE Spaceball 1 passes over them leaving a plaid shadow. BARF What the hell was that? LONE STARR (AMAZED) Spaceball 1. BARF (JUST AS AMAZED) They've gone to plaid. INT. SPACEBALL 1 HELMET-WE PASSED THEM! STOP THIS THING! SANDURZ We can't stop. It's too dangerou (full quote)
8890 SANDURZ-We're closing in on them sir. In less than a minute, Lone Star will be ours. HELMET-(NOTE-HELMET IS DOWN)Good. Prepare to attack. SANDURZ-PREPARE TO ATTACK! HELMET-On the count of three. One...two...(Lone Star blasts out)LATE!!(FLIPS UP HELMET)WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE THEY! SANDURZ(terrified)-I don't know sir, they must have hyperjets on that thing! HELMET-AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON THIS THING A QUESINART?! SANDURZ No, sir. HELMET Well, find them catch them. SANDURZ Yes, sir. (over loudspeaker) Prepare ship for light speed. HELMET No, no, no, light speed is too slow. SANDURZ Light speed, too slow? HELMET Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed. (ALL gasp) SANDURZ (gasp) Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it. HELMET What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz, chicken? SANDURZ (in high pitch) Prepare ship, (back to normal) prepare ship for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the 3-ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo.... HELMET (takes the microphone) GIMME THAT YOU PETTY EXCUSE FOR AN OFFICER! SANDURZ sits in his seat and buckles up. HELMET (in microphone) Now hear this, ludicrous speed.... SANDURZ Sir, hadn't you better buckle up. HELMET Aah, buckle this. (in microphone) Ludicrous speed, GO! The ship takes off. The display lights up: Light Speed, Ridiculous Speed, and then Ludicrous Speed. Helmet is being pulled back, screaming all the way. HELMET WHOOAA! WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET! INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE Spaceball 1 passes over them leaving a plaid shadow. BARF What the hell was that? LONE STARR (AMAZED) Spaceball 1. BARF (JUST AS AMAZED) They've gone to plaid. INT. SPACEBALL 1- HELMET-WE PASSED THEM! STOP THIS THING! SANDURZ We can't stop. It's too dangero (full quote)
8992 Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland!! (full quote)
8992 1).That was pretty good..for a girl. 2).Hey that was pretty good for Rambo!!! (full quote)
9246 We've gone plaid!! (full quote)
10205 im your father's brother's cousin's former ex roomate (full quote)
10445 I'm barf...half man, half dog, i'm my own best friend. (full quote)
10471 How many assholes we got on this ship? ((YO!!)) I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes. (full quote)
10929 My Heart Has A Mind Of Its Own. (full quote)
10929 good Enough. (full quote)
10929 Raise your Hands. (full quote)
10929 Hot Together. (full quote)
11824 Look, you will refer to me as IDIOT, not you captain! I mean...you know what I mean. (full quote)
11824 Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?!! (full quote)
11824 I'm a mog, half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. (full quote)
12003 I bet she gives great helmet (full quote)
12480 Evil will always triumph cause good is dumb. (full quote)
12480 1-2-3-4..thats the combination on my luggage (full quote)
beekers Oh great! That's all we need is another Druish princess! (full quote)
beekers Comb the desert! (full quote)
14345 1)Who are you? 2)BARF! 1)Not in here, pal. This is a mercades. 2)No, that's my name! Barf! (full quote)
14345 I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. (full quote)
14345 1)All right. Left foot first. 2)Daddy, that's your right foot! 1)Too late, keep going! (full quote)
14345 Hey! Wait! You forgot to get married! (full quote)
14345 Out of order! Fuck! Even in the future nothing works! (full quote)
14345 1)10, 9, 8, 6-- 2)6?! what happened to 7?! 1)Just kidding. (full quote)
14345 1)Who are you?! 2)I'm the bearded lady! what are you? One of the freaks?!! (full quote)
14345 It's Mega Maid, sir! She's gone from suck to blow! (full quote)
14345 1)what's that? 2)Spaceballs! 1)Oh, shit. There goes the planet. (full quote)
14345 1)Shall we have Snotty beam you down? 2)I don't know about that beaming stuff. Are you sure it's safe? 1)Oh, yes sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful. (full quote)
14345 I'm not touching this! I hate guns! (gets shot in the hair) My hair! He shot my hair! Son of a bitch! (full quote)
14345 1)All right! I'll tell! The combination is...1... 2)1! 3)1! 1)2... 2)2! 3)2! 1)3... 2)3! 3)3! 1)4... 2)4! 3)4! 1)5. 2)5! 3)5! 2)So the combination is...1 2 3 4 5! That's the stupidest combination ever! That's something an idiot would put on his luggage! (full quote)
14345 1)You know that medallion you wear around your neck? Well, here's what it means. It's a royal birth certificate! That's right! Your father was a king, your mother was a queen which makes you an honorary prince! 2)Hey! I'm a prince! I'm a prince! (full quote)
14345 Woah! Liquid Schwartz! (full quote)
14345 1)Use the Schwartz, Lonestar! Use the Schwartz! 2)I can't! I lost the ring! 1)Forget the ring! The ring is bogus! I found it in a crackerjack box! (full quote)
14345 Oh, I hate it when my schwartz gets twisted! (full quote)
14455 She's gone from suck to blow! (full quote)
14455 1)Ok, we'll go to the short, short version. Do you? 2)Yes 1)Do you? 3)Yes 1)good, you're married, now kiss her. (full quote)
14455 Prepare ship for ludacris speed! (full quote)
14455 So, I see your schwartz is as big as mine! (full quote)
14641 Out of order, FUCK! Even in the future nothin' works! (full quote)
14740 1. So the combination is 1,2,3,4,5 ... That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage. 2. 1,2,3,4,5. That's amazing I've got the same combination on my luggage. (full quote)
15031 Ludicrous speed! (full quote)
15563 I hear she gives good helmet (full quote)
15964 HELMET: Fire on 3, 2... lonestar zooms away HELMET: Wait a minute, where did they go? Where are they? SANDUREZ: They must have hypet jets on that thing sir! HELMET: And what do we have...A CUISINART?!?? (full quote)
16680 1)Go to tracking 2)Tracking.. 1)Swith to infa-red 2)switching to infa-red 1)and pray to god..2)Praying to god! (full quote)
16985 Oh, that's all we needed - a Druish princess. (full quote)
17692 what are you preparing?! You're always preparing! Just go! (full quote)
18102 Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate. Lone Starr: What's that make us? Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing (full quote)
18102 Smoke If you got 'em (full quote)
18102 We are gathered here today to join Princess Vespa and Princess Val.. Sorry, its the hair.. Prince Vallium in... (full quote)
18304 I'm a mog; half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. (full quote)
18441 Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful. (full quote)
19327 #1 Water...water....water! #2 Water....water...water! #3 Oil...oil...oil!! #4 Room service....room service...room service! (full quote)
19327 #1 I said across her nose no up it!! #2 Sorry sir. #1 Who the hell hired this guy? #3 I did! He's my cousin. (full quote)
19327 #1 Found anything? #2 Nothing yet sir. #1 How bout you? #3 WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!!! (full quote)
19580 1) I'm goin' in! 2) He's goin' in! I wouldn't. (full quote)
19969 Have you found anything yet? We ain't found shit. (full quote)
19969 only one man would dare give me the rasberry.....Lonestar (full quote)
19969 spaceballs the flame thrower....the kids love this one. (full quote)
19969 1)are we stopped? 2)yes. 1)good how about a 5 minute break. 2)very good sir 1)smoke if you got em. (full quote)
20182 And change the combination on my lugage! (full quote)
21209 1)Find Anything? 2) We ain't found shit. (full quote)
Smurf_511 1) I said across her nose, not up it!! 2) Sorry, sir! 1) Who the hell is he? 3) He's an asshole, sir. 1) I know that, but whats his name? 3) that is his name, sir. Leutenant asshole 1) who made him a gunner? 4) I did, sir. He's my cousin 1)(quietly) who is he? 3) He's an asshole too, sir. 1) How many assholes we got on this ship? 5)(all rise) SIR!! 1) Keep firing, assholes!!! (full quote)
Smurf_511 1) I said across her nose, not up it!! 2) Sorry, sir! 1) Who the hell is he? 3) He's an asshole, sir. 1) I know that, but whats his name? 3) that is his name, sir. Leutenant asshole 1) who made him a gunner? 4) I did, sir. He's my cousin 1)(quietly) who is he? 3) He's an asshole too, sir. Major asshole. 1) How many assholes we got on this ship? 5)(all rise) SIR!! 1) Keep firing, assholes!!! (full quote)
23383 It's Mega Maid! She's gone from suck to blow! (full quote)
princesstigereyes Hey! your Schwartz is bigger than my Schwartz!! (full quote)
SalBandini Dark Helmet: what the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? Colonel Sandurz: Now....Your looking at now Sir...Everything that happens now is happening now. Dark Helmet: what hapened to then? Colonel Sandurz: We passed then. Dark Helmet: When? Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at now now. Dark Helmet: Go back to then. Colonel Sandurz: When? Dark Helmet: Now! Colonel Sandurz: Now? I can't Dark Helmet: Why? Colonel Sandurz: We missed it. Dark Helmet: When? Colonel Sandurz: Just now. Dark Helmet: When will then be now? Colonel Sandurz: Soon. (energetically) (full quote)
25132 Sir, the radar sir, it appears to be...JAMMED! Jammed...raspberry...There is only one man who would DARE give me the raspberry...LONESTAR.... (full quote)
25132 Awww, why we gotta save a runaway princess anyway? I know we need the money but...Barf, we're not just doing it for the money...we're doin it for a SHIT LOAD of money! Ahh, you're right, and when you're right you're right, and you, you're always right. Ok we'll save her but how? The moment we move in there they're gonna spot us on their radar...Huh-uh...Uh-huh...Huh-uh...Uh-huh...Huh-uh, not if we JAM it! AH-HA...you're right! (full quote)
Daisy 1:Who made that man a gunner? 2:I did, sir. He's my cousin. 1:Who is he? 3:He's an Asshole, sir. 1:I know that. what's his name? 3:That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole. 1:And his cousin? 3:He's an Asshole too, sir. Gunner's Mate, First Class, Philip Asshole. 1:How many Assholes we got on this ship, any how? Everyone: Yo! 1:I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. Keep firing, Assholes! (full quote)
Daisy 1:Who made that man a gunner? 2:I did, sir. He's my cousin. 1:Who is he? 3:He's an Asshole, sir. 1:I know that. what's his name? 3:That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole. 1:And his cousin? 3:He's an Asshole too, sir. Gunner's Mate, First Class, Philip Asshole. 1:How many Assholes we got on this ship, any how? Everyone: Yo! 1:I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. Keep firing, Assholes! (full quote)
Daisy 1:Sir! The radar sir, it appears to be...jammed! 2:Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry.. Lone Starr! (full quote)
Daisy Evil shall always triumph, because good is dumb. (full quote)
Daisy 1:Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr. 2:What? 1:I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. 2:What's that make us? 1:Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become. (full quote)
Daisy It's Mega-Maid! She's gone from suck to blow! (full quote)
Daisy Out of order? F*CK! Even in the future, nothing works! (full quote)
Daisy I'm a mawg: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend! (full quote)
Daisy So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time, for the last time. (full quote)
Daisy 1:So the combination is 1,2,3,4,5 ... That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage. 2: 1,2,3,4,5. That's amazing I've got the same combination on my luggage (full quote)
Daisy 1:what the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? 2: Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now. 1: what happened to then? 2: We passed then. 1: When? 2: Just now. We're at now, now. 1: Go back to then. 2: When? 1: Now! 2: Now? 1: Now! 2: I can't. 1: Why? 2: We missed it. 1: When? 2: Just now. 1: When will then be now? 2: Soon (full quote)
Daisy Gozer the Gozerian, good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension. (full quote)
Daisy Well this is great. If the ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads .. in a spiritual sense of course. (full quote)
Dani Priest: what's you're name? Barf: Barf Priest: what's you're FULL name? Barf: Barfolomeu! (full quote)
27369 C'mon, Schwartz! C'mon, Schwartz! C'MON, SCHWARTZ!! (full quote)
28233 1-what the hell is this? I said take only what you need to survive. 2-It's my industrial strength hair dryer...AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!! (full quote)
28233 I bet she gives great helmet (full quote)
JenniferJayde I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes. (full quote)
29849 Now you see that evil will always triumph...because good is dumb. (full quote)
33302 My shwarts is bigger than yours (full quote)
33302 Hand print indentification please...hand print indentification please (full quote)
33584 May the Schwartz be with you. (full quote)
34645 So now you understand that evil will always triumph. Because good is dumb! (full quote)
34645 1: NO, NOT THAT! 2: YES.... THAT!! (full quote)
36418 There's only one man who would dare give me the Raspberry, LONESTAR! (full quote)
38628A Helmet, what's going on? Sandurz, what's going on? It's Mega Maid! She's gone from suck to blow! what? They're getting all their air back, do something! Do something! Do something! (full quote)
38628A Sandurz, Sandurz, you gotta help me! I don't know what to do! I can't make decisions, I'm a president! (full quote)
38628A I am your father's, brother's, nephew's, cousin's former roommate. What does that makes us? Absolutely nothing, which is what you are about to become. Prepare to die You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's how well you handle it. (full quote)
42042 It's the radar, sir. It appears to be...jammed. (full quote)
43413 You idiots, this isn't them! You've captured their stunt doubles!---Nameless commander (full quote)
44339 I can't believe it! You fell for the oldest trick in the book! (full quote)
45700 ....there's something wrong with the radar sir! (full quote)
  You know something princess, you are ugly when you're angry. (full quote)
  1) what the hell was that? 2) Spaceball one. 1) they've gone to plaid! (full quote)
  Shit, I hated when I get my swartz twisted! (full quote)
  Dark Helment Come back here you fat bearded bitch! (full quote)
  I AM YOUR FATHERS BrothERS NEPHEWS COUSINS FORMER ROOMMATE (full quote)
  Yogurt: Who knows? We'll just have to wait for SPACEBALLS 2: THE search FOR MORE MONEY. (full quote)
4105 Mog: Funny, she doesn't look Druish! (full quote)
4105 1. How many assholes we got on this ship? crowd raises their hands: YO!!! 1. Keep firing assholes! (full quote)
10929 A brand new white Mercedes. I got it at a very good price. I paid cash. My cousin, Prince Murray, has a dealership in the valley. (full quote)
33944 Man, we aint found shit!!!! (full quote)
Rissi Hail Screw! (full quote)
cptdad We're done with you. Go to the golf course and work on your putz. (full quote)
48700 Sir, the combination to the airshield is 1,2,3,4,5. 1,2,3,4,5...that's amazing...I have the exact same combination on my locker! (full quote)
Lauren B: Nice Dissolve! (full quote)
jakuvharts Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! (full quote)