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Look Who's Talking - 1989 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  >That's it! You have some exotic baby disease, and I look like I could play the lead in night of the living dead. And your father deserted us so he could pork his interior decorator! I guess it's safe to say that it can't get any worse! >HEL-LO-OOO!!! >I was wrong. (full quote)
  Mollie: St. Jerome's Hospital , Ah! Cab driver: Oh, Shit! (full quote)
2946 Ha ha,take that TONTO! (full quote)
  (to Mollie) Okay, I'm sorry I said anything about Dr. Spock. (to Mikey) Man, I never saw anybody get upset over a Vulcan! Big ears, no emotions. (full quote)
  Of course I understand. I'm a very understanding person. I understand you are going through a selfish phase. And I know that you will understand that I am going through a destructive phase! (full quote)
  ALBERT: Please Mollie, you HAVE to give me another chance. These past months have been like bad dream. I guess I just felt so guilty leaving Beth and the girls. MOLLIE: Albert, you have been such an asshole. If we ever got back together again I'm afraid I'd have to torture you for the rest of your life. ALBERT: Oh, that's okay, I want you to. Oh, Mollie, Mollie, Mollie. MOLLIE: what? ALBERT: I'm gonna burst if I don't kiss you soon. MOLLIE: TOUGH! (ALBERT'S head explodes and, much to the disappointment of audiences everywhere, MOLLIE wakes up) SECRETARY: Albert can see you now. (full quote)
  Finally, finally, thank God, I passed the damn stone! And they tell me it's the most excruciating thing in the world next to giving birth. (full quote)
  Now that's entertainment! (full quote)
  Pleas stop singing that song. If she gets sick, I get sick. (full quote)
  JAMES: Do you want me to call your husband when we get to the hospital? MOLLIE: I don't have a husband! JAMES: Well how 'bout your boyfriend? MOLLIE: Look, if you wanna know my life story I was artificially insimenated! JAMES: what are ya, lesbo? (MOLLIE gasps. They pull up to the emergency door) MOLLIE: (slapping JAMES) YOU STUPID JERK! MY KID'LL PROBABLY BE BRAIN DAMAGED BECAUSE OF YOU!!!...Aaah!...Don't touch me! Just don't touch me! I just wanna have this baby without you touching me! (full quote)
4307 1. The orderly was told by my husband to give him one candy bar a day and to lock up the rest of the candy, and the orderly agreed. He said, 'No problem'. 2. Well, then that was bill. bill always says 'No problem'. That's all he can say. The man can't speak English. (full quote)
  1. Why don't YOU try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon, and see how hot YOU look. 2. Ouch. I should call my mother more often, huh? Get it? (full quote)
  MOLLIE: What'm I gonna say when he asks about his daddy?! MIKEY: No, no, not him! I want James to be the daddy! ALBERT: Don't do that here! That's a $10,000 desk! MOLLIE: (slams down the diaper) Now it's junk! (full quote)
4307 You know that dumpster behind the supermarket? Look what I found. A perfectly good head of lettuce. You just peel the outside layers liks so. (full quote)
4307 1. So, you're the one that's been kicking me. 2. Well, you were the one that ate all that spicy food. This has gotta be the wierdest thing that has ever happened to me. Well...so far. (full quote)
  Mikey:Don't touch that I wa-footBALL!!!!???!!!I don't want to watch football.(switches channel to a Snuggels chamercial)Hey it's the bear show!Yeah look at that Date:No, leaving on football Mikey: I told you to leave that alone,that guy's a good actor,huh? Date:Cut it out!It's the playoffs Mikey:Heh,heh,dick! (full quote)
4307 How do I know you're not a kidnapper? Do you read milk cartons? (full quote)
4307 1. I'm sorry that I made you wear that stupid outfit, and I'm sorry that you had to meet that MEAN MAN. You'll never have to see him again. You know what I don't get? Every time I take you somewhere, everyone says how cute you are and how crazy they are about you. 2. naturally. 1. Then, the one person who has the genetic bondage treats you like a jerk. Everybody loves you. All the kids at the playground love you, Ma loves you, Rona loves you, everybody at work loves you, James loves you...Mikey, do you love James? 2. Give him a call. 1. What, honey? You want to play telephone? 2. Call him. (full quote)
  MOLLIE: where are the parachutes? JAMES: Parachutes? Uh, there are no parachutes. MOLLIE: No parachutes! Didn't you ever see SWEET DREAMS? THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY? LA BAMBA? JAMES: Well, there's a difference. They're like rock legends and we aren't. (full quote)
4307 Look at all those fathers down there. They're making goofball faces and taking pictures of their babies...Well, you won't find your father here. I really messed things up for you. I don't want you to be upset, because I'm going to go out there and get you a daddy, and this time I'm going to be smart about it. I'm not going to go for some handsome guy just because I'm in love with him. You're the only thing that matters to me, and I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to get you the best daddy there is. (full quote)
  WHO STOLE MY SUCKING THING?!!! i NEED MY SUCKING THING!!!! (full quote)
4307 1. Now, this is your first lesson in coffee. Without anything in it, it's black coffee. Can you say 'black coffee'? 2. Nope. 1. Then, there's coffee regular. That means two sugars and milk, which they have forgotten, so can I borrow some of yours? Ah, coffee regular. 3. You know, that's breastmilk (James spits out the milk, and Mollie laughs). (full quote)
4307 1. Come on. Breathe deep, breathe deep. 2. Don't try to help me, just drive. 1. Look, you've gotta use Lamaze, it works. My sister-in-law used it. If you don't use drugs, then it's better for the kid. 2. You know, the only people who say stupid things like that are men, because they're idiots. (full quote)
4307 'Due to changing hormones, over 80 percent of all women experience postpartum depression'...well, I'm not gonna. (full quote)
  MOLLIE: Wait! Please, I'm in labor! GUY: I was here first! (gets in the cab) MOLLIE: Aw c'mon, buddy, cut me some slack! (cab drives off) ASSHOLE!!! (full quote)
4307 1. I know that I still owe you that cab fare, but somebody stole my purse at the hospital, and I don't have much cash around...Wait a minute. How did you know where I lived? 2 (holding out purse). You left it in the cab. You hardly ever look through that thing, do you? 1. Why do you say that? 2. 'Cause you're still carrying around your diaphragm. (full quote)
4307 'After the third or fourth postpartum day, your breasts may swell slightly'. Slightly! I look like a Russ Meyer movie. (full quote)
4307 1. You know, you are something else! I go out of my way to bring back your purse, so that you don't have to cancel your credit cards or go to the DMV or nothing. 2. Thank you. Thank you very much. This happens to be illegal, and I don't want to get caught. 1. You're not going to get caught. Look, I'll do something for you. I'll baby-sit. 2. Come on, what do you know about taking care of a baby? 1. I've had practice with my sister's kids. 2. Friday nights. 1. Whoa. Friday's out. 2. Then forget the whole deal. 1. Friday's okay, but that's it. 1. And during my aerobics classes. 1. I said, that's it. Okay, one aerobics class. 2. Saturdays. 1. Can't do. I teach. 2. What do you teach, Taxi Driver's Ed (laughs). 1. It's not funny. 2. If you want to baby-sit, here's the deal: Fridays, two aerobics classes, and you can't bring chicks over. 3. No, don't give in! 1. Whoa, you're pushing it. It's a deal. 3. Sucker! (full quote)
6528 whos his favorite cartoon character fred or barney..how should i know? ..ok its fred...thats right fred...nonono barney, how many diapers does he go through a day about 6, who's his favorite rockstar Micheal Jackson, dont you think a father should know some of these things (full quote)
4307 1. You know how Albert's shrink said that Beth would never get better as long as he kept seeing me? 2. Yeah. One million times. 1. Well, he's decided to leave her. 2. Albert's leaving his wife? 1. No, he's leaving his shrink, and it's a good thing, too, because she was really starting to become an obstacle with us? 2. Who cares if he's leaving his shrink? He supposed to leave his wife. 1. He's going to. He just can't leave her while she's sick. 2. What's wrong with her? 1. She's...bullimic...Don't give me that look. This is a very serious disease. (full quote)
Beat Rice Mollie: Are you sure the wing's not burning? James: Nah... (pretends wing's burning) OH MY GOD! Mollie: WHAT?! NO! James: I'm just trying to calm you down. (full quote)
Beat Rice Wow, what a champ. Maybe you should marry her. (full quote)
Beat Rice James: Whoa, looks like you got you're figure back. Mollie: This is not my figure. James: Then you got Dolly Parton's figure back. (full quote)
4307 1. These things come in different sizes? what are these, jumbos? 2. what are you staring at? You must be thinking the same thing I am. 1. Heh, heh, heh...lunch! (full quote)
  JAMES: Could be lunchmeat, could be peaches. Who knows? The point is this: even though it's free, don't mean it's no good. Am I right, Princess? MOLLIE: You're right, sugar. JAMES: Did I tell you we'd live like kings or what? MOLLIE: You sure did! (JAMES starts fake-belching over and over again as MOLLIE & the kids laugh their heads off) (full quote)
  (albert is feeling on mollie's leg) al-albert, stop albert you need to get someonelse (he's pulling back her hair and kissing on her neck) (mollie pulls off her dress albert and mollie are both not wearing any shoes, mollie gets on the desk) Mollie, i'm going to burst if i don't kiss you soon.(They start making on the desk) (full quote)
  ALBERT: You know I'm leaving Beth. It just takes time. We talked about it this weekend. Every time I even say the word 'divorce', she loses five pounds. MOLLIE: I'm sorry she's bulimic....But I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for you, Albert. (full quote)
4307 1. So, how long you been here? 2. About five years. 1. Oh, yeah? In the same apartment? 2. Yes. 1. You were born in New York, weren't you? 2. Yeah! what are you, with the Census Bureau or something? (full quote)
8487 1)Is he taking a dump? 2) No, he's thinking real hard! (full quote)
8487 1) Slow down your beathing You're not in an arobics class!! 2) FUCK MY BREATHING!!!! (full quote)
  MOLLIE: St. Jerome's Hospital. (closes the door) AAH! JAMES: Oh, shit! (Roars off like a maniac) MOLLIE: Hey, slow down! The first stage of labor can take hours! JAMES: Yeah, so can the midtown traffic! (full quote)
  Oh, I'm so sick of hearing about Beth! Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth! And I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how you can be in love with someone like her and then in love with someone like me! I have a business degree, she took ballet dancing lessons! I buy medical insurance, she buys Magic Crystals! When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to make out a will! When Beth had the girls, she had a reading of their past life! I just don't get it, Albert! And to top it all off, you're still with her! (full quote)
  I THINK YOUR BOOKKEEPER PAID FOR THE FLATWARE TWICE. (ALBERT FEELS ON MOLLIE'S LEG)AL ALBERT STOP. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYmore. MOLLIE I LOVE AND YOU LOVE ME I KNOW YOU. OF COURSE I LOVE YOU ALBERT. YOU'RE A WONDERFUL FATHER, YOU'RE GREAT IN BED, AND YOU'RE MY BIGGEST ACCOUNT. BUT YOU'RE MARRIED AND I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH AS LONG AS I'M SEEING YOU, SO I THINK YOU NEED TO GET ANOTHER ACCOUNTANT. YOU KNOW I'M LEAVING BETH. WE TALKED ABOUT IT THIS WEEKEND. EVERY TIME I MENTION THE WORD DIVORCE SHE LOSES FIVE POUNDS. I'M SORRY SHE'S BULIMIC. BUT I CAN'T SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WAITING FOR YOU ALBERT. IT'S GOING TO WORK OUT SOON. NOW THE DOCTOR HAS PRESCRIBED THESE MOOD ELEVATORS AND SHE'S STARTING BALLET CLASSES. PROBABLY WILL BE JUST LIKE THE PLAYWRITING. (UNBUTTONS HER DRESS AND SHE PULLS IT OFF) NO SHE SAID WHEN SHE WAS WRITING SHE COULD FEEL HER BEHIND WAS BREADING. SHE'S GOT A GREAT BEHIND FOR A FORTY YEAR OLD. (KISSES ALL OVER HER NECK)ALBERT, I'M GOING TO TELL MR. ROSS TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE. I WON'T LET HIM, I'LL NEVER LET ANYONE ELSE TOUCH MY BOOKS. (HE KISSES ALL OVER HER AND FEELS ON HER)(SHE GETS ON THE DESK)OH GOD MOLLIE I'M GOING TO BURST IF YOU DON'T KISS ME SOON. (THEY START MAKING LOVE, THEREFORE, CONCEIVING MIKEY) (full quote)
  GIVE ME SOME DRUGS! NO YOU DON'T WANT DRUGS yes I do I'M going to spilt in to (full quote)
  ALBERT YOU DICK! STUPIED DICK! (full quote)
  MOM I WANT JAMES TO BE THE DADDY MOILLIE SAYS Well thanks for all mikey says DADA James says he said DADA Then Moille says he called you DADA Mikey says No I'M TALKIN TO HEAR MYSLEF SPEAK MOILLIE AND JAMES startS KISSING MIKEY says boy I Hope they don't get stuck like that and says Shold I tell them I need a new diaper nagh I'LL wait! (full quote)
  ALBERT YOU DICK STUPIED DICK! (full quote)
  mom i want James to be the daddy Mikey Dada Did he say dada I Think he called you dada Mikey NO im talking to my self her me speak He must think your his father i spend alot of time with him He probably thinks were going to end up together Moillie and James starts kissing Boy I hope they don't get stuck like that now should l tell them i need a new diaper na i'II WAIT (full quote)
  I don't get it (full quote)
  are you thinking what im thinking...? ..LUNCH!! (full quote)
  DOCTOR:your biological clock is ticking... (full quote)
  James: can you say coffee? Mikey: uh nope (full quote)
  ALBET whatS GOING ON MOLLY I FALLEN IN LOVE BETH KNOWS ALL ABOUT IM GONNA LIVE WITH MELISSA ALBERT HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN AND WHY DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING WELL YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO THE END OF YOUR PREGANCY I CAN'T BEIVE THIS IS HAPPING MOLIIE IM GOING THREW A SELFISH PHASE SELFISH PHASE? I ADMIT THE TIMEING IS BAD SELFISH PHASE? albert you dick stupied dick!!!! (full quote)
  DA DA HE JUST CALLED ME DADA NO IM TALKING TO HEAR MYSELF SPEAK HE MUST THING YOUR HIS FATHER I SPEND ALOT OF TIME WITH HIM YEAH YOU HAVE HE PROBABLY THINKS WERE GONNA END UP TOGETHER THEY start KISSING BOY I HOPE THEY DON'T GET STUCK TOGETHER NOW SHOLD I TELL THEM I NEED A NEW DIAPER NA I'LL WAIT (full quote)
4307 1. Who's Albert? 2. Why, was he here? 1. Is he Mikey's father? 2. what? 1. You lied to me about the artifical insemination crap, didn't you? 2. He was married. I wasn't supposed to tell. (full quote)
4307 1. Responsible? You call getting pregnant by a married guy responsible? Oh, that's good. 2. Stop it! 1. No, you stop it. I've seen you. I've seen you use Mikey to push guys away, and now you're doing it to me. Now, get out! 2. I live here! 1. I know! (full quote)
8487 Just so i remember, I hate chilhood! (full quote)
8487 Just so i remember, I hate childhood! (full quote)
8487 1) Whoa, hey, you got your figure back! 2) This isn't my figure. 1) Ok, you got Dolly Parton's figure back. (full quote)
8992 1).Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 2).Yeah, Lunch!!! (full quote)
8992 1).where were you! I was worried sick. I called the police!! 2).I was babysitting. 1).That means the baby stays here and you sit!!! (full quote)
beekers 1)Who's got a wet tushee? 2)I give up. (full quote)
beekers Mom! Not lamb - lame!!! (full quote)
RaynAKADeath You stupid son of a bitch, you're stealing my mail!! (full quote)
18780 Mikey: Okay lady...If you say so, you're my Grandma. (full quote)
24366 #1. Who's got a wet tushie?? #2. I give up! (full quote)
24986 Oh I'm sick and tired of hearing about Beth! Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth! And I'm having a hard time understanding how you can be in love with someone like her, and in love with someone like me. I have a business degree; she took ballet dancing lessons; I have medical insurance; she buys magic crystals. When I found out I was pregnant, I took out a will, when Beth had the girls...she had a reading of their past lives, I just don't get it, Albert! And top of it all, you're still with her! (full quote)
24986 ALBERT: Molly, I've fallen in love. Beth knows all about it, I'm going to live with Melissa now. (full quote)
24986 Oh Molly, Molly, Molly....I'm gonna burst if I don't kiss you soon. (full quote)
24986 MOLLY: A-A-A-Albert! I can't do this anymore! ALBERT: Molly, I love you, you love me, I know you do... MOLLY: Of course I love you Albert. You're a wonderful father, you're great in bed, and you're my biggest account. But you're married! (full quote)
24986 MICKEY: Put me back in! Put me back in! (full quote)
24986 JAMES: Do you want me to call your husband when we get to the hospital? MOLLY: I don't have a husband! JAMES: Boyfriend? MOLLY: Look, if you have to know about my personal life, I was artificially inseminated! JAMES: what, are you a lesbo? (full quote)
24986 Rosie: What??? Mollie: Ma, I thought you'd be happy. Rosie: How could you do such a thing? Mollie: It was easy. I went to the clinic and got some frozen sperm. I brought it home, defrosted it, inserted it, and...and I'm pregnant. Rosie: So that's it? Now you and the frozen pop are having a baby. (full quote)
24986 MOLLY: Yes, operator I need to report a missing baby.....well I don't know if he's actually missing.....well, maybe he was kidnapped....or maybe he's someone who's a complete idiot! (full quote)
24986 Oh, don't touch me! Just don't touch me! I'm going to have this baby without you touching me! (full quote)
24986 MOLLY: what you got there, a hand? You got a hand? MICKEY: Yeah, I got two of them. (full quote)
24986 Mollie: That's it! You have some exotic baby disease, and I look like I could play the lead in 'Night of the Living Dead', and your father deserted us so that he could pork his interior decorator. I think you can safely say that it can't get any worse. Rosie: Hello-o. Mollie: I was wrong. (full quote)
24986 (1) Give me my bag! Give me my bag! (2) Grandpa, he's not stealing your bag (3) I've got my teeth in there! Tell him not to touch my teeth! (4) Don't touch his teeth! (full quote)
24986 'A selfish phase' Albert you dick!!! (full quote)
24986 what stomach flu? Nobody has a stomach flu. (full quote)
24986 Excuse me, this knife is dirty, this fork is spotty...and there's something floating in this water....did you check your water...... Mikey, what is this? Why are color socks mixed with white socks? And why are school shirts mixed with afterschool shirts? You can't go anywhere until this is done properly. (full quote)
24986 Well you better call your hot date because I don't know how late I'm going to be. (full quote)
24986 Uh Heller...whatever your name is! I asked for well-done this is raw! I asked for no dressing....NO DRESSING! B plus in Geometry? How many times did we go over and over and over and OVER! what are you some kind of AN IDIOT! (full quote)
25031 How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many? what’s a light bulb??? (full quote)
29939 (1) Taxi!! St. Jerome's Hospital-- Ooow!! (2) oh shit... (1) Hey slow down! The first couple of contractions can take hours. (2) So can the mid-town traffic! (full quote)
29939 1) Yes! 2) Oh no.... 1) I take it this wasn't a planned pregnancy? 2) This wasn't even a planned affair! How could this have happened?! 1) Well you know, Molly...your biological clock is ticking. (full quote)
29939 1) Ow, that hurts! Don't take it out like that! 2) I'm trying to do it as fast as I can! 1) No, not like that, it hurts! Ooww!!! 1) See, it's out. Wow, look at that. 1) I've never had one that big in me. (full quote)
29939 (1) What about Mickey? 2) Well, if there's anything you need... (1) I need a father for him. 2) Molly I have to be honest. I'm living alone and for the first time in 13 years, I'm happy. I can't be somebody's father right now. I've raised my kids. 1) Raised them?! They're 11 and 9! Don't tell me they've moved out and gotten jobs. (full quote)
40905 1.Hello, Mikey! Do you know who I am? 2.Uh, no, actually I don't. 1.I'm your grandma. 2.Okay lady, if you say so, you're my grandma. 1.Yes, I am. 2.So what do you want from me? (full quote)