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Major League - 1989 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
4119 #1 - where you going, Meat? #2 - 'bout ninety feet. (full quote)
4119 Yo bartender! Jobu needs a re-fill. (full quote)
4119 You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?! (full quote)
4119 Hey Jake. How's your wife & my kids? (full quote)
5110 Well, you may run like Mays, but you hit like Shit! (full quote)
5110 Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant. (full quote)
5110 Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor. (full quote)
5110 1: I'm with the Indians. 2: Here, in Cleveland? I didn't know we still had a team! 1: Yeah, we've got uniforms and everything. It's really great. (full quote)
1815 How's your wife and my kids? (full quote)
1815 [wiping his finger across his chest] Crisco, [wiping it across his waist line] Bardol, [wiping it along his head] Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeƱo up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up just [wipes his nose] wipe my nose. (full quote)
5104 Nice catch ((name)), don't ever fuckin do it again. (full quote)
5026 Cerrano no hit curveball, hit straight ball very much. (full quote)
5026 You put snot on the ball? (full quote)
5026 I'm tired of this nickel and dime shit!!! (full quote)
5026 Forget the curveball Rickey, give 'im the heater. (full quote)
  1: what is it... chick? 2: That's my wife. 1: Does she know that? 2: Well she woulda been... and who's that guy she's with? 1: I don't know, he's not wearin a name tag. 3: Want me to drag him outa here... kick the shit out of him? (shakes his head no) (full quote)
6034 Funny. Real fucking funny asshole. (full quote)
  Pissed off now Joboo, look i good to you, i stick up for you, you no help me now...........i say, fuck you Joboo, i do it myself (full quote)
1501 The Indians win! The Indians win! Oh, my God! The Indians win! (full quote)
clarkins 1: Leave her alone. 2: Suck my dick (full quote)
  JUST a bit outside! (full quote)
6669 what do you want me to do, dive for it? (full quote)
6669 1- I've heard baseball players make a lot of money. 2- Well, it depends how good they are. 1- How good are you? 2- I make the league minimum. (full quote)
6906 Jake: Would I bull shit you about something like that? Coach Brown: You better, if you want to make this team. (full quote)
6906 -Cerano is lookin to sacrifice a live chicken. We cant have people pukein in the club-house before the game. (full quote)
6906 If you ever tank a ball like you did today, I will cut your nuts off and shove 'em down your fucking throat! (full quote)
6906 God damnit Dorn get in front of the damn ball. Don't give me this o'lay bullshit. (full quote)
6906 He's not the best color man in the League for nothin folks. (full quote)
6906 Crist I can't find it, the hell with it. (full quote)
6906 -One hit, only one god damn hit. -You can't say god damn on the air. -Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway. (full quote)
6906 ball four..ball eight...ball twelve and Vaughn has walked the bases loaded. (full quote)
6906 (Yankee pitcher?) leads the league in strike-outs. He even threw at his kid in a father son game. (full quote)
clarkins #1 Leave her alone #2 Suck my dick (full quote)
  Charlie Donovan: Must be Cerrano. Defected from Cuba, wanted religious freedom. Lou Brown: what's his religion? Charlie Donovan: Voodoo. (full quote)
clarkins Hey Taylor, How's you wife and my kids? (full quote)
clarkins Look at this fucking guy. (full quote)
clarkins 1. what the hell league you been playing in? 2. Californa Penal. (full quote)
clarkins Yo, Bartender, Jobu needs a refill. (full quote)
clarkins Shit, I been cut already? (full quote)
clarkins Get him a uniform. (full quote)
  I got news for you Mr. Brown, you haven't heard the last of me. You may think I'm SHIT now, but some day you will be sorry that you cut me. I'm gonna catch on somewhere else, and every time that I pitch against you, I'm gonna STICK IT UP YOUR FUCKIN ASS!!! (full quote)
  I want Parkman. I want him. (full quote)
  You might run like Mays, but you hit like shit. (full quote)
  #1:Who's that? #2: That's my wife #1: Does she know that? #2: I mean, she would have been, if I hadn't screwed things up. #3: You want me to drag him out of here, kick the shit out of him? (full quote)
  You better watch yourself Rog! (full quote)
  Post game show brought to you by (a little pause) Christ I can't find it. The hell with it (full quote)
  (1)I swear to God, that if you ever tank another play like the one you did today, I'll cut your nuts off and stick 'em down your fucking throat. (2)coffee, anyone. (full quote)
  Now You listen to me this is my last shot at a winner and for other guys it could be there only shot now i dont know what happend to you but if you ever ever take another play like you did today im gonna your nuts off and suff them down your fuckin throat. (full quote)
  Bring the shit to me man!!!!! (full quote)
  They got chili dogs over there? (full quote)
  Jeez Stop mama jumu, look I good to you, I stick up for you, if you no help me now, I say fuck you jobu, I do it myself (full quote)
  no way too high (full quote)
  Oh cut with the Ra Ra Shit Taylor, you're after this like a free agent. (full quote)
  1) This guy here is dead. 2) cross him off then. (full quote)
  Forget about the curve ball, Give em the heater. (full quote)
  Look at this fucking guy! (full quote)
  Harry Doyle: Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed... (full quote)
  they're still shitty (full quote)
  There are 108 beads in a catholic rosary and 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. -- Annie Savoy (full quote)
  You may run like Mayes, but you hit like shit. (full quote)
  It's too high! what do you mean its too high? I mean too hard! Too high, too hard, either way its outta here! (full quote)
  I look like a banker (full quote)
  Just a bit outside. ball 4, ball 8, ball 12 and that loads the bases. How can the be laying off such close pitches? (full quote)
  1.what the hell league have you been playin' in?2.California Penal.1.Never heard of it,how'd you get there?2.Stole a car. (full quote)
  American Express Card, Don't Steal home Without It! (full quote)
1501 Last time I threw one, he hit one that hasn't landed yet. (full quote)
5221 # 1: I've never heard of half of these guys and the ones I do know are way past their prime. # 2: Most of these guys never had a prime. # 3: This guy here is dead! # 4: Well, cross him off then. (full quote)
5221 The American Express card - don't steal home without it! (full quote)
clarkins Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum. Very bad. (full quote)
clarkins personally, I think we got hosed on that call. (full quote)
clarkins C'mon Jake, it's only your life. (full quote)
clarkins Real fucking funny, asshole. (full quote)
clarkins Shut up Dorn. Save all that energy for the field. (full quote)
clarkins 1. what language is this? 2. French. 1. They got chili dogs over there? (full quote)
clarkins You want me to drag him out of here, kick the shit out of him? (full quote)
6669 Hey bartender! Jobu needs a refill. (full quote)
6669 Nice catch Hayes, don't ever fucking do it again. (full quote)
7796 Bats no hit curveball. Bats afraid of curveball. (full quote)
7796 Too high? what do you mean too high? (full quote)
7836 Up your butt Jobu. (full quote)
7925 Nice to meet you Hayes, the parking lot is right out there. (full quote)
8126 (clapping) 1.) Whoa, you really got a hold of that one. 2.) Yeah, what was that, a slider? 1.)Man it was oughta here. (full quote)
8174 1)I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses. I'd just like to point out that evrey newspaper in the country has picked us to be last. The local press seems to think that we;d save everyone a lot of time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sportwriters time. So, I'd like to hang around and give them all a nice big shit-burger to eat. Everyone:(Laughing) 2) Shit-burger? (full quote)
8174 Nice catch Hays, don't ever fuckin' do it again! (full quote)
8174 The post-game show is brought to you by... (goes through papers). Crist I can't find it. To hell with it. (full quote)
8174 1) A quarter of the season is gone. We're 15 and 24. 7 games out of first. That's bad, it's not bad enough. Plus, this team is shhowing signs of improvement. I didn't think we'd win 15 games all year. Any ideas? 2) On how we can get worse? 1) Yeah. 2) How about a series of fines for good plays. Maybe a $30,000 bonus for the guy voted Least Valuable Player. (full quote)
8174 1)call the stewardess, Vaughn. I need one of those bags. 2)There aren't any stewardess. 1)I wonder if there are any pilots. (full quote)
8174 1)Just get it over the plate. I want him to swing. 2)Last time I did that, the guy hit one that hasn't landed yet. 1)Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. (full quote)
8174 Hi Reckmond. Hell of a situatation we got here. Two on, two out, you guys trailing by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television. If ya don't blow it. By the way, I saw your wife at the PreLounge last night. Hell of a dancer, you must be proud. That guy she was with, I mean, I'm sure he was a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearin' her panties on his head? Announcer: Swung on and popped up. (full quote)
8727 Harris: You might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of foolin' around with all this stuff. Cerrano: Ahhh, Jesus. I like him very much. But he no help with curveball. Harris: You tryin' to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball??? (full quote)
8862 Harry Doyle: HEY, in case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't. The Indians have managed to win a few here and there and are threatening to climb out of the cellar. (full quote)
8862 Hayes: Shoulda gotten the live chicken (full quote)
8920 shoulda gotten the live chicken (full quote)
9800 YOU, BARTENDER, JOE BOO NEEDS A REFILL (full quote)
9800 you tryin to tell me jesus christ can't hit a curve ball? (full quote)
10528 That's all we have is one GODDAMEd hit? You can't say GODDAMED on the air! Dont worry no one is listening! (full quote)
10528 I look like a banker in this! (full quote)
10528 Oh what a bunch of bullshit, I have a much better body than she does! (full quote)
10775 JUST a bit outside, tried the corner and missed... (full quote)
14459 Cerrano: Hats for bats. Dorn: Yeah? what's your handicap? Cerrano: Keep bats warm. Gracias. (full quote)
14459 Whoa! 'Nother freak show candidate. what'd ya' use to cut your hair, rook? Vege-O-Matic? Nice earring, too. Have you got the, uh, matching bracelet? Vege-head? (full quote)
14459 Brown: Tire World. Donovan: Lou Brown? Charlie Donovan, General manager of the Cleveland Indians. How would you like to manage the Indians this year? Brown: Ohhhhhhh, I dunno. Donovan: What do you mean you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues. Brown: Lemme think it over, will ya'? I got a guy on the other line about some white walls. I'll talk to ya' later. (full quote)
14459 Brown: Nice Velocity. Pepper: Sounded like it. Brown: How much? Radar Guy Guy: Ninety-six. Brown: Jesus. Let's teach this kid some control before he kills somebody. (full quote)
15784 Strike this Mother' OUT! (full quote)
15856 Fan #1) No that's too high. Fan #2) Too high?! (full quote)
17157 You may run like Mays, but you hit like SHIT!! (full quote)
18244 Look at this F$#%ing guy (full quote)
19005 Looked like a strike anyway. (full quote)
19005 Fan 1: Too high? Fan 2: You know, the trajectory. Fan 3: Who gives a shit, its gone. (full quote)
Walacama I used to have a pair just like em. Besides, seeing is the most important thing. I don't think it's that important. (full quote)
Tazz533 They tell us you're a pitcher. You're not much of a dresser. We wear caps and sleeves at this level, Son. (full quote)
Tazz533 Wild thing..... you make my heart sing. (full quote)
Tazz533 *I'm gonna get that bitch on the phone. *You wanted to talk to the bitch? Arent you going to cover yourself? *We're out of towels, and I'm too old to go diving into lockers. *I can handle it if you can. (full quote)
27458 1) what language is this? 2) french. 3) they got chilidogs over there? 2)forget it i'll order. (full quote)
KoolKatt 'Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.' (full quote)
Marvin Acme Juuuuuuust a bit outside. (full quote)
Marvin Acme Vaughn a juvenal delinquent in the off season, making his major League debut. (full quote)
ladyrocket19 Don't you guys go nowhere. I plan to put on a hitting display. (full quote)
30320 (Pepper) Look at this fucking guy. (full quote)
32106 This guy threw at his own kid in a father son game. (full quote)
  strike this fucker out (full quote)
  We wear caps and sleves at this level son.(Grabbing his cup) (full quote)
  I've only got one thing to say to you: Strike this mother-fucker out! (full quote)
  if you want to become an interior decorator after this thats your business but some of us still need this team (full quote)
  one more year in the sun (full quote)
  hey taylor what you doing back here ah i couldnt cut it in the mexican leagues (full quote)
  is that you tolbert (full quote)
  i wish we had him 2 years ago we did (full quote)
  Why hell, we got two or three potential all-stars (full quote)
  I hate this fucking song (full quote)
  Hello! Do you know us?! We're a Major League Baseball Team! But, Since we have'nt won a pennant in nearly 40 years, nobody recognizes us. Not even our hometown fans. That's why we carry the American Express Card. No matter how far out of 1st we are, it's cool. It helps us get into our favorite hotels and restaurants and stuff. So if you're looking for some big league clout, apply for the little green home run hitter. Look what its done for us. People still don't recognize us, but hey- We're contenders now. The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it. (full quote)
  Hello! Do you know us?! We're a Major League Baseball Team! But, Since we have'nt won a pennant in nearly 40 years, nobody recognizes us. Not even our hometown fans. That's why we carry the American Express Card. No matter how far out of 1st we are, it's cool. It helps us get into our favorite hotels and restaurants and stuff. So if you're looking for some big league clout, apply for the little green home run hitter. Look what its done for us. People still don't recognize us, but hey- We're contenders now. The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it. (full quote)
  Hey Rechtler! You got a chance to be a hero on national TV, ir you don't blow it that is. (full quote)
  DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH HAY FOR THAT? (full quote)
  Hey Lou don't you think we should have a prayer, We're all not savages like Cerrano. Jin Cat tru Gatron. Dear Father [Loud BOOM and smoke] Have to wake up bats! Ok shit can we try this again. Dear Heavenly father we humble pray that you will guide and protect us as we grit up our loundes to take the field of battle lead us into victory [fire-alarm and sprinkler goes off]in the name of Jesus Christ. (full quote)
  Lou Brown: Thought you didn't have any high-priced talent. GM: Forget about Doren cause he's only high-priced. (full quote)
  ball one...ball four...ball eight...low and Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on twelve straight pitches. Boy I don't know how they can lay off pitches THAT close... (full quote)
  Jake: Que Pasa there Pedro...Pedro: I can no hit curveball, straight ball I hit it very much...curveball bats are afraid. I ask Jaboo to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, and rum...he will come! (3) You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around here with all this stuff. Pedro: Ah Jesus, I like him very much...but he no help with curveball... (3) You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball!! (full quote)
  How can guys lay off pitches this close. (full quote)
  Forget the curve ball, Ricky. Give 'em the heater. (full quote)
  (Douchenut throwing the cocktail party): Stay away from her. (Taylor) Suck my dick. (full quote)
  she bet me fifty bucks she had a better body than you, and i HAD to defend your honor-jake (full quote)
  Are you trying to say that jesus christ cant hit a curve ball!!! (full quote)
  (1) Who's that guy she's with? (2) I don't know..He's not wearing a name tag. (full quote)
  how'd you cut your hair Veg-O-Matic? (full quote)
  You trying to say that Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball (full quote)
10929 We're contenders now. (full quote)
10929 READ. (full quote)
Walacama If you've been watching, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians are threatening to climb out of the basement. (full quote)
33944 1/_That's all we got?? One goddamn hit??? 2/_Shhhh you can't say *goddamn* on the radio 1/_ Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway (full quote)
33944 1/ So what team do you play for, Jake? 2/ The Indians 3/ Right here in Cleveland?... why, I didn't think they still had a team 3/ Yep, we have uniforms and everything.... it's really great! (full quote)
33944 1/_Just get one over the plate, I want him to swing 2/_Last time I did that the guy hit one that hasn't landed yet (full quote)
33944 1/_If you ever EVER tank another play like you did today, I'm gunna cut your nuts off and stuff em down your fuckin' throat!! 2/ Coffee anyone? (full quote)
33944 Good evening all you wahoo maniacs and welcome to another edition of *Teepee Talk* and hey! if you haven't noticed lately and judging by your attendence, you haven't, the Indians are actually winning a few here and there and are threatening to climb out of the cellar!! (full quote)
33944 All right Harris, lets not start a Holy War here, ok? (full quote)
33944 1/ Well I guess there's just one thing left to do... 2/ what's that? 1/ Win the whole... fuckin'... thing! (full quote)
33944 THE INDIANS WIN IT!!! THE INDIANS WIN IT!!! OH MY GOD!!!THE INDIANS WIN IT!!! (full quote)
34090 You want me to drag him outta here? Kick the shit out of him? (full quote)
38482 (spoken in japanese)THE'RE Still SHITTY! (full quote)
42119 Lou: Who the hell is that? Charlie: Must be Cerrano. He defected from Cuba because of religous persecution. Lou: what is his religion? Chralie: Voodoo (full quote)
47880 The Indians Win It! The Indians Win It! Oh My God, The Indians Win It! (full quote)
ScottG You may run like Mays but you hit like shit. (full quote)
bigclaude 1) This guy here is dead 2) cross him off then (full quote)
rhps2000 It would be very bad to drink Jobu's rum. Very bad. (full quote)
rhps2000 We should have got the live chicken. (full quote)
rhps2000 Hats for bats. Keep bats warm. (full quote)
rhps2000 #1 I don't chase ballplayers. #2 Then why did you come over then? #1 Because you are the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on and you look like you could use a friend. #2 Check! (full quote)
djseven They say your a pitcher, your sure not much of a dresser. We wear caps and sleeves at this level Son. (full quote)
benandtiff06 200 pushups. How am I supposed to hit if I cant lift my arms? (full quote)
benandtiff06 Relax kid, we got 162 of these games to go. (full quote)
benandtiff06 1) what are you saying, you want us to lose? 2) No, we've been losing. what I want, is for us to finish dead last. (full quote)
porge444 Hey, Rexman, hell of a situation we got here- two on, two out, you guys down by one in the ninth- you got a chance to be a hero on national television -- if you don't blow it. By the way, saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night, hell of a dancer, you must be very, very proud. And that guy she was with? I'm sure he's a close personal friend and all, but tell me- what was he doin' wearin' her panties on his head? Uh-oh, Rexie, don't think this one's got the distance! (full quote)