Movie Quotes Bank


MovieQuotes runs by contribution by its talented members. We would like to thank all members for submitting quotes to make this site possible. We are growing by leaps and bounds with many new movie quotes listed daily.

2014 will be another great year with some blockbuster movies, so come back often and enjoy your favorite movie line and quotes all in one easy place. Don't forget to bookmark our site and your favorite quotes pages.

If you would like to additional quotes, please visit the Submit Quote page.






Steel Magnolias - 1989 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
2411 I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special (full quote)
2946 Daddy, it's time! Daddy, it's time! (full quote)
2946 Pink is my signature color (full quote)
Maharet12 Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion! (full quote)
Maharet12 Annelle: I can't talk about it Mrs.Clarie and Truvy: Of course you can! (full quote)
Maharet12 Thanx Weezer, nothing like a good piece of ass! (full quote)
3594 Take a whack at Wheezer! (full quote)
4105 You are a boil on the butt of humanity. (full quote)
1212 1)My colors are blush and bashfull. 2)Her colors are pink and pink. (full quote)
1212 1)what are you colors? 2)Blush and bashfull! 3)Her colors are pink and pink. 2)My colors are blush and bashfull. (full quote)
4245 Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. (full quote)
4391 You are too twisted for color t.v. (full quote)
4391 That which does not kill us, makes us stronger..... (full quote)
  i'm pleasant, dammit i'm pleasant. i saw drummond at the piggly wiggly and i smiled at the son of a bitch before i could help myself. (full quote)
Maharet12 I'm a chain!!!!! (full quote)
  Owen Jenkins, now that's a blast from the past. I haven't heard that name in so long I'd forgotten he ever existed. Why, he left these parts when God was a boy. (full quote)
4940 I'd rather have 30 seconds of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special. (full quote)
5201 #1- It's a lil' bit poofier than I would normally do...but I'm nervous. #2- Ohhh, I'm not worried about that too much! I usually wrap mah eentire head in toilet paper when I go to bed at night...so it usually gets pretty smooshed down in that process anyway. (full quote)
5201 Ouiser- Yes Annelle I pray!! Well there, I said it...I hope your satisfied. Annelle- I suspected this all along... Ouiser- OH! Well don't expect me to come to one o' your churches! One o' those damn tent revivals with all them Bible beaters doin' God knows what! They'll prob'ly make me eat a live chicken!! Annelle- Not on your first visit!! Clairee- VERY good Annelle. Spoken like a true smart-ass... (full quote)
5273 it looks like two pigs fighting in her ass (full quote)
5394 Looks good, looks real real good (full quote)
5394 Shelby was right, it does look like a brown football helmet (full quote)
5437 She's the only miss merry christmas, who got caught with her tinsel down around her ankles! (full quote)
5437 You know I love you more than my luggage... (full quote)
  You know what they say? If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me! (full quote)
5273 well, are you married or not? these are not hard questions (full quote)
  My momma brought me up right. I haven't left the house without spandex on these thighs since I was 14. (full quote)
5606 Lenelle: Sammy, what's this in my Frigidaire? Sammy: Oh, Christ, Lenelle. Lenelle: what? Sammy: Christ. Christ, Christ, Christ. Lenelle: Is that our Lord's name you're takin' in vain? I don't know if I want to spend my life with someone I won't meet again in the sweet hereafter. (full quote)
5579 your colors are PINK and PINK...it looks like Pepto Bismal threw up all over the alter. (full quote)
5757 1) You are evil, and you must be destroyed. 2) Mother nature is taking care of that faster than you can. (full quote)
  #1 That is one ugly dog. what kind of dog is that? #2 Well, if it had hair it would be a St. Bernard (full quote)
  It looks like two pigs, fighting under a blanket (full quote)
5933 Well, if you want to practice safe sex, you're all set. (full quote)
  He's a real gentleman, I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it! (full quote)
6034 Her colors are pink and pink. Momma my colors are blush and bashful. (full quote)
  M'Lynn: I wanna just hit somethin' Clairee: Here...hit Ouiser!! Ouiser: what the hell??? (full quote)
5046 Mama, this nailpolish is drying up way too dark! 'Delicate pink', my foot, it looks like a stuffed pig bled all over my hands. (full quote)
5046 The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God. (full quote)
5046 Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair. (full quote)
6826 Annelle: Nobody move, Nobody move! My contact! (full quote)
  Weezer- Eat shit and die (full quote)
7312 Why Weezer, you're almost chipper today. Did you run over a small child or something? (full quote)
7312 You know, I used to think you were crazy for marrying that man. Then for a few years I thought you were a glutton for punishment. Now I know you must be on some mission from God. (full quote)
7379 1)Sammy what is this in my fridgedair? 2)Beer 1)I don't know what you keep in yours, but you will not keep liquor in mine! 2)Oh Christ Annelle. 1)what did you say? 2)Christ 1)Is that our Lord's name you're taking in vain? 2)That's the one. 1)I don't think I can spend my life with someone I won't see in the hereafter 2)Christ, Christ, Christ 1)I think we should pray! 2)Oh I'd rather eat dirt. (full quote)
4904 1. Besides, I kind of like the idea of hiring some one w/ a past. 2. She can't be more than 18. She hasn't had time to have a past. 1. Come on Clairee! This is the eighties! If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past. (full quote)
4904 Our son. W're so proud of him. (full quote)
4904 Well Annele, what do you say we talk some trash? (full quote)
4904 Do you have a reindeer stuck up your butt? (full quote)
4904 You can't scre up her hair! You just tease it, and make it look like a brown football helmet. (full quote)
4904 1. what am I gonna do? This dog is on his last legs? 2. Serve him on toast! (full quote)
4904 1. Did you get those magnolias out of my tree? 2. The judge has not yet decided whose tree it is. 1. It is MY tree. (full quote)
4904 That VCR alone is worth gettin' married for. (full quote)
4904 It will not be a question of wether or not I can carry your child. He will cut your thing off! (full quote)
4904 Janis Van Meter got hit in the head with a baseball. It was fabulous. (full quote)
4904 All people want to hear about is touchdowns and injuries. They don't care about that grape shit. (full quote)
4904 I have to get rid of about a zillion birds before Shelby's reception this afternoon,or I will have to deal with my wife and I make it a point never to deal with my wife! (full quote)
4904 1.Drum! I know you're in there!2. I think it's the door. 3. I think it's for Daddy. (full quote)
4904 I don't watch movies, baecause they're trash and they got nothin' but naked people in them. (full quote)
4904 I don't go see plays, because I can sleep at home for free. (full quote)
cadence (Upon receiving a piece of cake) There ain't nothin' like a good piece of ass. (full quote)
8601 If have nothing nice to say, come sit next to me! (full quote)
  the only difference between us and the animals is our ability to accesorize! (full quote)
  women from the south are graceful/gentle like the branches of a magnolia tree,yet strong as steel to withstand tornados... they are like Steel Magnolias. what is the correct quote? (full quote)
9306 Sammy Dwayne DeSota, what is this in my frigidaire? (full quote)
  your a real gentleman, I bet you take the dishes out of the sink before you pee in it! (full quote)
1960 You are a pig from hell! (full quote)
6461 I would rathe have 5 minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special. (full quote)
6461 In college we would dress up as nuns and go bar hoppin' (full quote)
  Get off my bench! (full quote)
  Daddy always says an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure. (full quote)
  Here comes miss Weezer, I'm supposed to give her a pedicure today. I hate working on her feet. Could be worse she could have wanted a bikini waxin'. (full quote)
  The older you get the sillier you get. well the older you get, the uglier you get. (full quote)
  Let's just say... if you and Jackson wanna practice safe sex. your all set !! (full quote)
  Very Good Inell !!! Spoken Like a true smartass !!! (full quote)
  Would you call the color grape or oberjean ?? (full quote)
  Malynn you just missed the chance of a lifetime. Half of chickapin parish would give their eye teeth to take a whack at weezer! (full quote)
  claree, you are a bitch from hell. and you must die. (full quote)
  Truvy: Clairee, you know I’d rather walk on my lips than criticize anybody...but...Janice Van Meter… Clairee: I know... Truvy: I bet you money she’s paid $500 for that dress and doesn’t even bother to wear a girdle. Clairee: It’s like two pigs fighting under a blanket. Truvy: Well, I haven’t left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 14. Clairee: You were brought up right. (full quote)
11289 You are too twisted for color t.v. (full quote)
11289 My colors are blush and bashful. Pink is my signature color. (full quote)
11289 You have the hand writing of a serial killer. (full quote)
2857 Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' across your face. (full quote)
2857 In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight. (full quote)
2857 This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell. (full quote)
  At least that's what my mind says...I wish someone would explain it to my heart. (full quote)
12930 The neighborhood would be a lot more alienated if they got covered in bird shit at my reception. (full quote)
  i'm fine, i'm fine i could walk to texas and back, but my daughter can't, she never could. I just wanna know why, oh god i just wanna understand. No no i was suppose to go first i was always ready to go first. (full quote)
14537 Open, open your eyes! (full quote)
15273 That Jackson's one big hanging man. Yes I know. (full quote)
  Weezer: Did you get those magnolias out of my tree?! Drom: The judge has not decided whose tree that is exactly. Weezer: It is MINE!! (full quote)
  Are you high, Clairee? (full quote)
16491 All gay men have track lighting, and all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve. (full quote)
16491 I saw Drum Eatenton at the A & P and I smiled at the sonofabitch! (full quote)
16491 ...my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair. (full quote)
16491 Annelle: I can't believe it! I'm a beautician! Truvy: Uh uh uh uh, glamour technician! (full quote)
15876 Iced Tea, house wine of the south. (full quote)
  You are a pig from HELL (full quote)
  Ouizer, you have the handwritin' of a serial killa (full quote)
18023 You are evil and you must be destroyed! (full quote)
18406 i dont go to the theatre because i can nap at home for free, and i dont watch movies cos they aint got nothin' but naked people in em! And i dont read books cos if theyre any good theyill make em into a mini series (full quote)
  I want to know why! I could run to Texas and back, but my daughter can't, she never, I want to know why! I'm so mad I just want to hit something until they feel as bad as I do, I just want to hit something, and hit it hard. (full quote)
  Drink your juice, Shelby! (full quote)
  Weeza: Drum! You are a boil on the butt of humanity! (full quote)
  Weeza: Drum! You are a boil on the butt of humanity! (full quote)
19444 Would you call this color grape or obergine? 2. Nobody give's a damn about that grape shit! (full quote)
20321 Oh!! Nobody move! Nobody move, I lost my contact! (full quote)
  Looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket (full quote)
20525 God don't care which church you go to as long as you show up (full quote)
  You know what they say...if you can't say anything nice, come sit next to me! (full quote)
  Clary- Looks like two pigs fightin under a blanket (full quote)
18406 Shelby: momma, momma, this nail polish is dryin way too dark! practically pink my foot, it looks like a stuffed pigs bled all over my hands. Ml'ynn im sure that ive got something that'ill do and if not ill send one of your brothers to get some delicate oink nail polish. Shelby: Great idea momma, i would love to see what the boys would pick out. (full quote)
  Clairee:Would you call this a grape or auburgene. Ouiser:Shut Up!! Clairee:What? Ouiser:All they care about is touch downs and injury's they don't give a damn about that grape shit!! (full quote)
  He is a boil on the butt of humanity. (full quote)
23383 M'lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime. Half of Chinqapin Parish would give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser! (full quote)
23383 M'Lynn: Well, the boys just brought the car around. Shelby: what did they do to it? M'Lynn: Let me put it this way. If you and Jackson want to practice safe sex, you're all set. (full quote)
  Clarie- All gay men have track lighting and are named Mark, Rick or Steve. Weeza - Track lighting I love mine, my nephew installed it. Clarie - How is he? Weeza - Steve's fine. (full quote)
24366 BOYS! DON'T DECORATE your SISTER'S CAR WITH CONDOMS! IT'S TACKY! (full quote)
24366 #1) Anne Boleyn had six toes. #2) Who's Anne Berlin? #1) Anne BOLEYN, she was one of the six wives of Henry the VIIIth. #2) Oh, well I never watch public television. (full quote)
24366 Shelby,it looks like you've been driving nails up your arm. (full quote)
24366 M'lynn, what's wrong with you...did a reindeer fly up your butt or something? (full quote)
  He's a real gentleman, I bet he even takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it. (full quote)
24986 Would it be too much to ask...for a little excitement? Not too much, I wouldn't want you to break a sweat... (full quote)
24986 Oh I'm just screaming at my husband, I can do that anytime.. (full quote)
24986 The last nicest thing my husband ever did for me was back in 1972, he enclosed this carport so that I could support him.. (full quote)
24986 We are awful....we are hateful, awful people! All we've been talking about is weddings and psychotic animals. (full quote)
24986 Shelby and I agree on one thing- The Groom's cake! It's awful....it's in the shape of a giant armadillo. (full quote)
24986 Worst, the cake part is red velveet...people are going to be hacking into this poor animal that looks like it's bleedin' to death! (full quote)
24986 I'm fine......I'm FIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!! I can run back & forth all the way to Texas, but my daughter can't! She never could! (full quote)
  I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. (full quote)
  Malin: Ouisa, call your dog, he'll listen to you. Ouisa:Kill, Rhett, kill! (full quote)
  You know I worship the quicksand you walk on (full quote)
  I will not let my own personal tragedies interfere with my ability to do good hair. (full quote)
  Clairee: Shelby, you made a good catch. Louisiana lawyers do well, whether they want to or not! (full quote)
  Clairee: You made a good catch Shelby. Louisiana lawyers do well, whether they want to or not! (full quote)
  1. My colors are blush and bashful. 2. Her colors are pink and pink. (full quote)
  Truvy: It's a cup of flour, a cup of sugar, a cup of fruit cocktail with juice, and you mix and bake at 360 till gold-n-bubbly. Clairee: Sounds awful rich! Truvy: I know, that's why I serve it over ice cream to cut the sweetness. (full quote)
  Ouiser: Walk me home. Clairee: Walk yourself home. Ouiser: You're the one with the flashlight...walk me home. Clairee: My car is parked over there. Ouiser: I don't want to walk into a dark house by myself..walk me home. Clairee: You know, the older you get the sillier you get. Ouiser: The older you get the uglier you get. (full quote)
27519 He's so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. (full quote)
27519 All gay men have track lightin' and all gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve. (full quote)
24986 There, my secret is out...I'm having an affair with a Mercedes-Benz (full quote)
24986 Shelby! Ugh, your hair is so short. (full quote)
24986 1) Back at Truvy's, when I said the sooner my body fails the better off I'll be...I should've not said that in front of Shelby. And I didn't mean it. 2) Ouiser, nobody pays any attention to you. (full quote)
24986 (SAMMY) I've never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life! (ANELLE) We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant, okay. (full quote)
24986 Men are the worst creatures in this planet, they will make your life a living hell, mark my words! (full quote)
24986 I have new shoes...I have to break em' in. (full quote)
24986 1) I bet you money she paid $500 for that dress and don't even bother to wear a girtle 2) Looks like two pigs fighting in a blanket. (full quote)
24986 Everything is horrible! Banky that's my husband- he just vanished last week. He took all the money, my jewelry, the car...most of my clothes were in the trunk....he's in big trouble with the law. Drugs or something....cops keep questioning me but I don't know anything! They said our marriage may not be legal. (full quote)
24986 You can't screw up her hair. You just tease' it and make it look like a brown football helmet (full quote)
vanilla (Clairee): I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park. (Truvy): Yeah, how did that go? (Clairee): Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous. (Truvy): Was she hurt?(Clairee): I doubt it. She got hit in the head. (full quote)
  I'll bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it! (full quote)
  I'll bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it! (full quote)
  Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket (full quote)
24986 1) Hell, Owen Jenkins! 2) Hello Ouiser, remember me? 3) My' gawd you look different...have you shrunk? (full quote)
24986 1) Okay, no more transplant jokes, daddy doesn't like em' 2) Okay, Ma...give me...your... internal organs! (full quote)
24986 The neighborhood would be a lot more alienated if they got covered in bird shit at my reception (full quote)
24986 1) Movie! Movie! 2) It's old and black and white! 3) Nothing dirty there... 4) I got it, a classic...a tale of two kidneys! (full quote)
24986 I'm not crazy, Ma'Lynn...I've just been in a very bad mood for forty years! (full quote)
  Truvy: Shelby, what are your colors? Shelby: my colors are blush and bashful MaLynn: her colors are pink and pink Shelby: my colors are blush and bashful MaLynn: Its really quite revolting, the sanctuary looks like its been hosed down in pepto-bismol (full quote)
10929 God don't care which church you go, long as you show up! (full quote)
10929 Smile...It increases the value of your face. (full quote)
  Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion (full quote)
29250 You Know I love you more than my luggage (full quote)
  1: My colors are blush and bashful. 2: Her colors are pink and pink. 1:My colors are blush and bashful momma. (full quote)
  Nothin like a good piece of ass (full quote)
  I'm not crazy Mylynn, I've just be in a very bad mood for forty years! (full quote)
14628 The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize! (full quote)
14628 To my new granbaby...May he be as good looking as I am! (full quote)
14628 She's the first Miss Merry Christmas in history to be caught with her tinsel...down around her knees! (full quote)
14628 Maybe she was prayin' for Marshall, and Drew, and Belle. Maybe she was prayin' cuz we were gossipin'. Maybe she was prayin' cuz the elastic's shot in her pantyhose. Who knows! She prays at the drop of a hat these days! (full quote)
14628 Sammy's so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt! Says he could deal with another man, but he's havin' trouble with the father, the son, and the holy ghost. (full quote)
14628 Cause, I'm an old woman! We're supposed to wear funny hats and grow vegetables in the dirt! (full quote)
14628 Clairee, this is just a gesture! We're not feeding Drum till the end of time! (full quote)
14628 Hey! Ret's here! Let's connect the bald spots! (full quote)
14628 Annelle, I just thought Sammy wouldn't mind you reading the bible in bed as long as you were wearing something inspirational! (full quote)
14628 Annelle, why don't you just take your bible and shove it where the sun don't shine! (full quote)
14628 Drum left...he couldn't take it...Jackson left...I find it amusing...men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. (full quote)
14628 I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life...and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life. (full quote)
14628 Damn It! I'm pleasant! I just saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly and I smiled at the son-of-a-bitch! I couldn't help myself! (full quote)
14628 Maybe I should start having emotional outbursts more often! Maybe I should have them at home! Drum would be so pleased! (full quote)
14628 I do not see plays because I can sleep at home. I don't watch movies because they're full of naked people, and I don't read books cuz if they're any good they'll make 'em into a mini-series! (full quote)
14628 You are a PIG from HELL!! (full quote)
14628 You are too twisted for color Tv, Clairee! Have your roots done! (full quote)
  I wear a size six, but a size seven feels so good I wear I size 8. (full quote)
beekers I am pleasant? Damn it! Yesterday I saw Drum Eatonton at the Piggly Wiggly and I smiled at the son of a bitch for I couldn't help myself! (full quote)
beekers C'mon, Ouisa. You know I love you more than my luggage. (full quote)
beekers We went skinny dippin' and we did things that frighten fish! (full quote)
beekers That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto Bismol. (full quote)
beekers This here is the best cherry coke in the history of the world. (full quote)
beekers Looks like a stuffed pig bled all over my hands! (full quote)
beekers Poor Sammy's so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt! (full quote)
  Truvy: what are ya colors, Shelby? Shelby: Their blush and bashful! Malin: Her colors are pink and pink. Shelby: My colors are blush and bashful, Mama! I have chosen 2 shades of pink, one is much deeper than the other. (full quote)
  Weaser: Annelle, u take ur Bible ans shove it where the sun don't shine (full quote)
  Now Ruth Robelene there's a story for you. Her likfe has been an experiment in terror. Lost a husband in Korea and a son in Vietnam. When it comes to sufferin' she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor. (full quote)
  Who made this? Guilty, I can make just about anything- 'cept snakes. I don't have the counter space. (full quote)
30083 There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything except money and men. (full quote)
beekers They were both high. They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes! (full quote)
beekers 1)The new Devils' jerseys are fabulous, such a deep shade of purple. Now tell me, Bob, would you call this color grape or aubergine? 2)Shut up! 1)What?! 2)You're makin' a fool outa yourself, Clairee! 1)I am not! 2)This is football -- all people wanna hear about is touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a damn about this grape shit! (full quote)
beekers Oh Spud! I'm a chain!!! (full quote)
beekers Spud's as outgoing as ever. Last week Louis brought his girlfriend home and the nicest thing I can say about her is that all her tatoos are spelled correctly! (full quote)
beekers Jackson found a firearm -- we may never see him again. (full quote)
beekers 1)With the wedding cake in the dining room and the groom's cake...hidden in the car port? 2)Shelby and I agree on one thing- 1&2)the groom's cake! 1)It's awful! It's in the shape of a giant armadillo. 3)An armadillo? You're joking, right? 1)No, Jackson's got this aunt and she makes these cakes. 4)Sounds interesting. 2)It's repulsive. It's got gray icing. I can't even begin to imagine how you make gray icing! 1)But the worst is the cake part, is red velvet cake -- blood red! People are gonna be hacking into this poor animal and it'll look like it's bleeding to death!! (full quote)
beekers That looks like an autopsy. (full quote)
beekers 1)Well, the rehearsal dinner was a real experience. 2)It was at Jackson's uncle's place out on the river. 1)Jackson comes from a good old southern family with good old southern values -- you either shoot it, stuff it, or marry it. 2)They're simply outdoorsy, that's all. (full quote)
29939 1) Ouisa, this is Jackson's aunt, Fern from Alexandria. She made the cake. 2) You did this? 3) Oh it's simple, really. It just takes patience. 2) You only do Armadilles? 3) No, I can do anything. Except snakes, I don't have the counter space. (full quote)
29939 1) Shelby, if I don't have anything, I'm going to send one of the boys to get some delicate pink nail polish. 2) Oh great idea, Mama. I would love to see what the boys would pick out. (full quote)
29939 JONATHAN! DON'T YOU DECORATE your SISTER'S CAR WITH CONDOMS, IT'S TACKY! (full quote)
29939 1) Shelby loves you very much 2) I hope so...cost me 60 bucks to rent this sucker. 1) I'm being serious. 2) So am I. I got the receipt right here. (full quote)
29939 1) Your husband? 2) uh..my husband? 1) Yes! 2) Well, I don't know. 1) You don't know?? 2) I'm not sure. 1) You're not sure? I'm intrigued. Are you married or not? These are not difficult questions! (full quote)
29939 I don't like Belle Marmillion. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's normal. (full quote)
29939 (1)Oh Anelle, for Christ Sakes! (2) Who? (1) Christ. (2) Who did you say? 1) Christ! Christ! Christ! 2) Are you speaking of our Lord? Is that whose name you're taking in vain? (1) That's the one! (2) Oh, I'm sorry Sammy. But I'm not about to spend the rest of my life with someone I'm not going to run in to the hereafter. (1) Oh Anelle, God Damn it! (full quote)
29939 (1) Hi, Miss Ouiser. (2) Ugh, leave me alone! (full quote)
29939 1) Who gives this woman in marriage......? 2) HER MOTHER AND I DO! (full quote)
  1. Sammy dewayne desoto, what is this is my frigidaire? 2. Beer 1. I do not care what you keep in your refrigerator, but you will not keep liquor in mine. 2. Christ, Annelle! 1. Who? 2. Christ! 1.Is that the name of our Lord and Savior that you are taking in vain? 2.That's the one! (full quote)
  shelby:Dont talk about me like I'm not here (full quote)
  Shelby:If you dont leave me alone I'm gonna leave..M'lynn:Oh, I'd love to see you try, coroporate please! (full quote)
  Annelle:Nobody move I've lost my contact! (full quote)
  I'm just yelling at my husband. I can do that any time. (full quote)
  Weeza: Well what am I supposed to do with this dog? Drum: Serve him on toast. (full quote)
33896 I'm just yelling at my husband. I can do that any time. (full quote)
33896 Weeza: Well what am I supposed to do with this dog? Drum: Serve him on toast. (full quote)
33899 All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve. (full quote)
33899 I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I could help myself. (full quote)
33899 A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. (full quote)
33899 I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life, and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my entire life. (full quote)
33899 I would rather have thirty minutes of 'wonderful' than a lifetime of 'nothing special'. (full quote)
  Eat shit and die. (full quote)
  If you don't have anything nice to say come sit by me (full quote)
  SHELBY DRINK THE JUICE. DRIN DRINK THE JUICE. COMMON SHELBY DRINK THE JUICE.GET MY PURSE. SHELBY YOU DIDNT BRING YOUR PURSE NOW DRINK THE JUICE. IM GONNA LEAVE. OHHH ID LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY NOW DRINK THE JUICE. PLEASE SHELBY DRINK. THERE THERE NOW THATS BETTER. THAT ONE WAS NOT BAD THAT WAS NOT BAD AT ALL. SHES ALL CAUGHT UP IN THIS WEDDING NONSENCE. THE OTHER DAY THE DOCTOR TOLD HER THAT CHILDREN ARE IMPOSSIBLE. SHES JUST WORRIED THAT JACKSON IS GIVING UP HIS ONLY CHANCE TO HAVE CHILDREN. DONT TALK ABOUT ME LIKE IM NOT HERE. OH WELL NOW WERE STARTING TO make SOME SENCE. JACKSON SAID THAT WE CAN ADOPT, WE'LL BUY TEN OF THEM IF WE HAD TOO. JACKSON SOUNDS LIKE GOOD PEOPLE TO ME. (full quote)
  Ambolin, she had six fingers weezer- what happened to the other 4, clarie- she had eleven total, weezer- are you trying to confuse me clarie (full quote)
  Ouiser, I love you more than my luggage. (full quote)
  Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt!! (full quote)
  He's a real gentleman...I bet he takes the dishes outta the sink before he pees in it!! (full quote)
35071 To my new grandbaby, may he be as good lookin as I am (full quote)
  Wait..Nobody move...my contact!!!! (full quote)
  ~Sammy Dwayne Desota, what is this in my frigidaire?~Beer.~Well, I don't care what you keep in your refigerator but you will not keep liquor in mine.~Aww, for Christ's sake.~Who?~Christ.~Is that our Lord? Is that who's name you're taking in vain?~That's the one!~Well I just don't know about spending the rest of my life with someone I'm not gonna meet in the hereafter.~Aww Annelle God damn it!~Oh I think we should pray.~Aww, I'd rather eat dirt! (full quote)
35230 Well, you know what I say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me! (full quote)
  Kill Rex Kill, bite him in the balls, bite him in the balls! (full quote)
beekers The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize! (full quote)
beekers 1)Ouisa's never done a religious thing in her life! 2)Now that is not true. When I was in college my friends and I dressed up as nuns and went barhopping! (full quote)
beekers 1)Somebody's at the door. 2)I think it's for daddy (full quote)
  At least that's what my mind says, I wish someone would explain it to my heart (full quote)
36374 He's a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it! (full quote)
36374 Well done, Elnelle. Spoken like a true smart ass. (full quote)
  There's so much static electricity in this room I pick up everything but boys and money! (full quote)
  I feel so bad, I just want to hit something...I want to hit it hard! Here hit this...c'mon hit her...we'll sell t-shirts saying I took a wack of weezer! (full quote)
beekers Clairee, you know I'd rather walk on my lips than to criticize anyone... (full quote)
  HERE! Hit this! We'll sell T-shirts, saying I slapped Ouisa Boudreaux. Ouisa, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man. Knock her lights out M'lynn. (full quote)
beekers 1)where's your father? 2)Coffee kicked in. (full quote)
  The only thing the separates us from the animals is our ability to accesorize. (full quote)
19580 I'm not crazy, My'lynn! I've just been in a very bad mood for forty years! (full quote)
  i'd rather walk on my lips than talk bad about someone..but that looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket (full quote)
  1:i havent walked out of my house without lycra on these thighs in twenty years 2: thats because you were brought up right (full quote)
  Woman #1: All gay men are named Rick, Mark, or Steve. Woman #2: I need to get some track lightin'. Woman #3: Oh, I love my track lightin'. Woman #2: When did you get track lightin'? Woman #3: My grandson just put it in. Woman #1: I haven't seen him in ages. How is he? Woman #3: Oh, Steve's fine. (full quote)
  No body move! I've lost my contact!! (full quote)
  You worship the quicksand i walk on. (full quote)
  what if she wakes up for one second and i'm not here? (full quote)
41248 1) I'm just so...so...so MAD! I could hit someone! 2) Here! Hit Weeza! (full quote)
41409 Half a Chinqapin County'd give their eye teeth to take a whack a Weeza (Louisa)!! (full quote)
41409 Ooo, what are your colors? Blush and Bashful! Her colors are pink and pink. My colors are blush and bashful Mama. I have chosen two shades of pink and one is much deeper than the other. (full quote)
  truvy-Ooo. those are too cha-cha for words! (full quote)
10929 Lookin' for you. (full quote)
44895 Mama! This nail polish is drying way too dark. 'Practically Pink', it looks like a stuck pig bled all over my hand! (full quote)
44895 The sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto Bismo! (full quote)
44895 I'm not crazy M'Lynn. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!! (full quote)
44895 #1: Oh Drum would never point a gun at a lady. #2: He's a real gentleman. Bet he takes the dishes outta the sink before he pees in it! (full quote)
44895 M'Lynn you just missed the opportunity of a lifetime. Half of Chinqapin Parish'd give their eye-teeth to take a whacka Ouisa! (full quote)
10929 Course it can. (full quote)
TyeDi You know I love you more than my luggage (full quote)
40905 I'm fine. I'M FINE! I could jog all the way to Texas and back. But my daughter can't! She never could! (full quote)
  I WAS THERE WHEN... (full quote)
46182 LOOKING FOR QUOTE IN DEATH SCENE (full quote)
MovieMan31 This is in the freezes beautifully section of my cookbook, and I wanted to bring something that freezes beatuifully. (full quote)
MovieMan31 1)Would you call that color Grape or Aubergene? 2)Shut up! 1)What? 2)You're makin a fool outta yourself Claree 1)I am not! 2)All the listeners want to hear about are touchdowns and injuries! No one gives a damn about that Grape shit! (full quote)
MovieMan31 1)Claree! This is just a gesture! We are not feeding Drum until the end of time. 2)Drum loves pork and beans...eats them with everything. 1)That explains a lot. (full quote)
MovieMan31 Would you like some Iced Tea? Its the house wine of the south! (full quote)
MovieMan31 Jackson...you're going to have to get her suit. You know the one with the little cherries on the lapel? (full quote)
MovieMan31 1)Would you like something? 2)Huh? Oh no, no thanks. 1)Are you sure? It's free? 2)Oh? 1)Come on, what'll it be? 2)A cherry Coke. (full quote)
MovieMan31 My name is Sammy, and this here is the best Cherry Coke in the history of the world. (full quote)
MovieMan31 1)Ha Ha, and the Doctor's said Shelby couldn't have children! 2)Yeah, what do they know?! 3)The doctor's said Shelby SHOULDN'T have children. There's a big difference. 4)This baby is not exactly great news. (full quote)
MovieMan31 Smile! It increases your face value! (full quote)
MovieMan31 I don't want to miss the Nativity made entirely out of sparklers! (full quote)
MovieMan31 I would never have chosen white, so filthy. I mean LOOK at those grass stains. Impossible to get out. (full quote)
MovieMan31 Givin birth to Jack Jr. just put too much strain on my kidney's and now they are kaput. (full quote)
MovieMan31 1)I'm lucky. I don't have to wait. Mama's gonna give me one of her kidney's. 2)When?! 1)We check in tomorrow mornin. So you better get goin' on my nails. (full quote)
  YOU are different Shelby! There are limits to what you can do! (full quote)
beekers Thanks, Ouisa. Nothin' like a good piece o' ass. (full quote)
beekers See, in my day, you could tell by a man's carriage and demeanor which side his bread was buttered on... (full quote)
beekers All gay men have track lighting. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve. (full quote)
  I'm not crazy Milynn. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years. (full quote)
33944 1/_Boys? where's your father? 2/_His coffee just kicked in (full quote)
33944 Ouiser, you sound almost chipper,... what happened today?... you run over a small child or something? (full quote)
33944 1/_Well, that wasn't a very Christian thing to do. 2/_Oh Annelle, ya gotta lighten up! (full quote)
33944 When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor (full quote)
33944 Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' right across your face (full quote)
33944 1/_In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight 2/_ This is an eight and a half 1/_Perfect! (full quote)
33944 1/_I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park. 2/_Yeah?, how did that go? 1/_Janice Van Meader got hit with a baseball.... It was fabulous. 2/_Was she hurt? 1/_I doubt it.... She got hit in the head (full quote)
  He don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt! (full quote)
  SMILE, it increases the face value. (full quote)
  People are only nice to me because I have more money than God! (full quote)
  Pink is my signature color. (full quote)
  That's why God invented the A&P. (full quote)
  I was screaming at my Husband (full quote)
cherrylicious I would rather have thirty seconds of 'wonderful' than a lifetime of 'nothing special.' (full quote)
cherrylicious I would rather have thirty seconds of 'wonderful' than a lifetime of 'nothing special.' (full quote)
33944 Drum, eat shit and die!! (full quote)
  I'm not crazy Melynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for fourty years. (full quote)
  and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tatoos were spelled correctly (full quote)
  She had her choice of going to a bible camp with her Sunday school class, or to New Orleans with me and two other sinners. (full quote)
  Shelby: Was she praying? Truvy: Yes. Shelby: Why? Truvy: Beats me, maybe she was praying for Marshall, and Drew, and Belle. Maybe she was praying for us for gossiping. Maybe she was praying because the elastic is shot in her pantyhose, who knows? She prays at the drop of a hat these days. (full quote)
  Im so mad I want to hit something, I want to hit it hard. (full quote)
karaokejunki Time marches on. and then you realize it's marching across your face. (full quote)
olgaperez59 spoken like a true smart ass (full quote)