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Uncle Buck - 1989 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
  If that's true we're really gonna have to start brushing our teeth. (full quote)
3505 1)Do you think she hates me? 2)With a passion. 1)Do you think it's the hat? 2)No... 1)A lot of people hate this hat, it angers them at just the sight of it... (full quote)
3505 Buck Malinoma, moley Russel's wart (full quote)
3505 1)Buck! 2)You got a game goin' somewhere, Pal? 1)Yeah! 2)Well you're not gonna score any points sittin' over here, move it! (full quote)
4049 Here's a quarter. Go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you,madam. (full quote)
3505 Would you like to talk about a possible lunch trade? (full quote)
  Mazie,did I do anything bad?No,but you said shit twice. (full quote)
  Miles:Would you like to talk about an impossible lunch trade? (full quote)
4538 You should have seen the toast, I couldn't even get it through the door! (full quote)
4538 Bug? what's his last name, Spray? (full quote)
  Stand me up today, and I'll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and walk you to your first class. (full quote)
  Uncle Buck's got me bustin' my hump... (full quote)
5352 1) WHere do you live? 2) IN the city . 2) You have a house ? 2) Appartment . 1) Own or rent ? 2) Rent . 1) What do you do for a living? 2) Lotsa things . 1) WHere's your office ? 2) Don't have one. 1) Howcome ? 2) Don't need one . 1) You have a wife ? 2) No . 1) Howcome ? 2) It's a long story . 1) You have kids? 2) No . 1) Howcome ? 2) It's an even longer story . 1) ARe you my dad's brother? 2) What's your record for consecutive questions ? 1) 38. 2) I'm your dad's brother alright . 1) You have much more hair on your nose than my dad . 2) How nice of you to notice . 1) I'm a kid :That's my job . (full quote)
5172 I don't think I want to know (full quote)
5172 Buck: Hey! How ya doin?! Miles: Who are you?! Buck: I'm your Uncle Buck! Miles: Do I have an uncle? Tia: Unfortunately. Miles: He's cookin' our garbage. (full quote)
6034 Ever hear of a tune up? Heh, heh, heh. Ever hear of a ritual killing? Aheh, heh, heh. (full quote)
6034 I just want to hear the pitter patter of little feet. Well, how 'bout if I get you a mouse and some sheet metal? (full quote)
6034 I just want to hear the pitter patter of little feet. Well, how 'bout if I get you a mouse and some sheet metal? (full quote)
  Stand me up today, and I'll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and walk you to your first class. (full quote)
6034 >That's a pretty stupid thing to do during flu season.>>I bet she's getting the tongue. (full quote)
5352 1) Ever hear of a tune-up ? he-he-he-he ! 2) (imitating)Da-hee-hee-hee-hee . Ever hear of a ritual Killer ? (full quote)
5352 1) Have you ever had anyone embarass you like this ? 2) (pause) NO. (full quote)
6834 Buck: here kitty kitty kitty...WHO LET THE CAT OUT!? miles: we don't have a cat! Buck: get out ow!! (full quote)
5983 You're not a gnat, are you Bug? (full quote)
5352 1) You know what a hatchet is don't you Bug ? 2) It's an axe 1) Sort of yeah..........I got one in th car if youd like to see it . 2) I should get going . 3) He's all talk 1) Here it is!!! (full quote)
  I've got a brand new Bronco right out in the parking lot......RED. (full quote)
  your nails are digging into my arm goddammit! (full quote)
8900 Hi, I'm Buck Melanoma, moley Russell's wart. (full quote)
  BUCK: Is she always this pleasant? MILES: No, she's usually in a bad mood when she wakes up. (full quote)
  I'm going to put my load in you Do you have the full quote when Buck is wrestling with the washing machine? (full quote)
  Would you like to talk about a possible lunch trade? (full quote)
1023 You got both kneecaps? (full quote)
14526 Mother, what a lovely dinner, how do you find the time? (full quote)
14541 (1)Hey! How ya doin?! (2)Who are you?! (1)I'm your Uncle Buck! (2)Do I have an uncle? (3)Unfortunately. (2)He's cookin' our garbage. (full quote)
15166 You're not a bug,are you gnat? (full quote)
11971 I can't get enough cheese (full quote)
11971 what's another name for balls?......NUTS (full quote)
  why i've been known to circumsize a gnat....wait a minute, bug.....gnat....is there some kind of simularity? (full quote)
  Bug: Ever heard of a tune up? he he he. Buck(imatating Bug): ahe he he. Ever heard of a ritual killing? ahe he he. Bug: i dont get it. Buck: Knaw at her face in public like that again and you'll be one. ahe he he. (full quote)
  is it too early for flapjacks (full quote)
  its a hatchet .. not for killing just for maiming just take a ittle off the shoulder (full quote)
  People used to say I had it made... I had no boss, no wife... problem is no one says that no more. (full quote)
  But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're all good kids until dried-out braindead scags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece or any other kid in this school and I hear about it, I'm comin' lookin' for you. Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat knaw that thing off your face. Good day to you madam. (full quote)
  Unbreakable plate!... (full quote)
  (Buck on the phone): Will you just let me-...I-...please-...but-...don't...I-.... (full quote)
  Oh yeah...and Felix was the name for your- (full quote)
  Oh before I forget, do you have a plunger? (full quote)
  Miles: You're nails are digging into my arm GOD DAMMIT!!!! Tia: Let the dog out. Mazie: PARRRRRRRRRRRRRRSIE!!!!!! (Parsie jumps out of the dryer) (full quote)
  Buck: Why did you go and blow all that makeup? We're just going bowling. Tia: I'm not going. Mazie: They have rent-a-shoes....... Tia: and RENT-A-FOOT-DISEASE (full quote)
  (Tia) My throat sort of hurts...I can't...I can't talk. (Pal) I gotta cure for that. (full quote)
  Get in your mouse and get outa here. (full quote)
  If the object of this game was to get the ball closest to the pin you would be champion of the world. (full quote)
  ThEy HaVe ReNt-A-sHoEs, YeAh AnD rEnT-a-foot DiSeAsE. (full quote)
  Yes Sir You Son Of A Bitch That Hurt i'm not sorry alright i'm not sorry for shit (full quote)
  Here's a quarter. Now go down town and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! (full quote)
  In the world of personalized home entertainment...I am a God (full quote)
  Miles- i told you, she's at a cheerleaders' house for dinner. (shows up at a bare campsite) Buck-wow, they really are scraping the bottome of the bareels for cheerleaders these days. (full quote)
  I don't use it to kill, no only to mame. Maybe shave a little off the knee caps. (full quote)
  Tia: Are you crazy? you could have taken his head off! Buck: Yeah but would he notice? (full quote)
  I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! .....Good day to you, madam! (full quote)
  Maziy My Uncle Was Micowaveing My Stuff And The Dog got sick for about in honer teacher Why Was your Uncle Micowaveing Your Stuff Maziy Becuase He Can't Get The goddamn washer To Work (full quote)
  Tia Don't give any Crap Maziy Maziy I'm Telling You Said Crap Tia Theres Noing Woung With Crap Mazily Oh Really I was Thinking It Was A Swear (full quote)
10047 That's not a very smart thing to do during flu season. (full quote)
10929 Isn't peace wonderful? (full quote)
10929 And the stock market had it's best week since July. Take that, Karl Marx. (full quote)
10929 I'm a kid...that's my job. (full quote)
10929 I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. (full quote)
10929 And the stock market had its best week since July. Take that, Karl Marx. (full quote)
13284 Buck: The deck's stacked up in my favor. You're just going to lose again. Tia: Try me. Buck: How'd you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out-of-work bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car. (full quote)
13284 Stand me up today, I'll drive you to school tomorrow in my robe and pajamas and WALK you to your first class. (full quote)
13284 Bug: Ever hear of a tune-up? Hee-hee-hee-hee. Buck: Ever hear of a ritual killing? Hee-hee-hee-hee! Bug: I don't get it. Buck: Gnaw on her face like that again in public and you'll be one. Hee-hee-hee-hee! (full quote)
17612 Ring,Ring....Ring,Ring (1)Yaaaaa (2)Buck this is Bob.(1)Bob,Bob who?(2)A Buck its your brother(1)Bobby,Bobby ya hang on a minute(Buck coughing)clap clap clap hey Bobby I just used your Chrismas present oh the clapper Bobby you little pissan how you doin huh geeee what are you drunk? heh heh Hey I am real sorry about those bushes I had no idea they would all catch fire like that your right I should have never parked the Bar-Ba-Q that close. Buck Cindy's father had a hear attack tonight we would like to get down to Indianappolis as soon as possible but we have a problem with th kids were stuck with somebody to watch them if your not doing anythin. This is ok this has her approval on it Oh Yea, oh thats great I mean I would be honored I mean I still have the one bedroom but I'm going to get a bigger place they can bring there toys over here we'll make tents and stuff and get some peanut butter you know what I mean. Buck I thought you could come here the kids have school what was I thinking. Do we wanna do this tonight or in the morning tonight would be best if you can do it oh sure tonight will be fine that will be fine pack a few things I am on my way. Great see ya soon he can do it he was asleep and I woke him up huh at this hour hats a good sign were all set. (full quote)
17612 Ring,Ring....Ring,Ring (1)Yaaaaa (2)Buck this is Bob.(1)Bob,Bob who?(2)A Buck its your brother(1)Bobby,Bobby ya hang on a minute(Buck coughing)clap clap clap hey Bobby I just used your Chrismas present oh the clapper Bobby you little pissan how you doin huh geeee what are you drunk? heh heh Hey I am real sorry about those bushes I had no idea they would all catch fire like that your right I should have never parked the Bar-Ba-Q that close. Buck Cindy's father had a hear attack tonight we would like to get down to Indianappolis as soon as possible but we have a problem with th kids were stuck with somebody to watch them if your not doing anythin. This is ok this has her approval on it Oh Yea, oh thats great I mean I would be honored I mean I still have the one bedroom but I'm going to get a bigger place they can bring there toys over here we'll make tents and stuff and get some peanut butter you know what I mean. Buck I thought you could come here the kids have school what was I thinking. Do we wanna do this tonight or in the morning tonight would be best if you can do it oh sure tonight will be fine that will be fine pack a few things I am on my way. Great see ya soon he can do it he was asleep and I woke him up huh at this hour hats a good sign were all set. (full quote)
17814 (1)ever hear of a tune-up? heee heee heee heee (2)ever hear of a ritual killing? knaw on her face like that again in public an' you'll be one....mheee hee hee hee. (full quote)
22933 Take this quarter, go down town, and have a rat knaw that thing off your face (full quote)
1ajas ...and Felix, Felix was what we called your... (full quote)
1ajas (1)You have much more hair in your nose than my dad. (2)Thank you for noticing. (1)I'm a kid, that's my job! (full quote)
26686 I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a 'sillyheart.' And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing [her mole] off your face! Good day to you, madam. (full quote)
26686 A lot of people hate this hat. It angers a lot of people, just the sight of it. Ah, I'll tell you a story about that on the way to school. (full quote)
26686 1: You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it to see if you actually brushed your teeth...or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet. 2: If that's true we're gonna REALLY have to start brushing our teeth. (full quote)
27538 I wouldn't in there with that hat if I were you. (full quote)
27538 Here it is (holding up a hatchet). Come on over. Maybe later. OK (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1-Where do you live? #2-The City. #1-Do you have a house or apartment? #2-Apartment. #1-Own or rent? #2-Rent. #1-What do you do for a living? #2-Lots of things. #1-Where is your office? #2-I don’t have one. #1-How come? #2-I don’t need one. #1-Where’ your wife? #2-I don’t have one. #1-How come? @2-It’s a long story. #1-Do you have kids? #2-No I don’t. #1-How come? #2-It’s an even longer story. #1-Are you my dad’s brother? #2-What’s your record for consecutive questions in a row? #1-38. #2-I’m your dad’s brother alright. #1-You have much more hair in your nose than my dad. #2-How nice of you to notice. #1-I’m a kid that’s my job. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- I would just like to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet before I die. #2- I'll get you a mouse and a piece of sheet metal. (full quote)
Marvin Acme just let...let....gi...no but...you do...would ya just...let...give me...let me get..let me git...your not...give me a...aaaahhhh. (full quote)
Marvin Acme Maizy, if the object of the game were to get the ball as close to the pins without knocking any of them over, you would be champion of the world. (full quote)
Marvin Acme I got a few questions foryou. Yougot an interesting set ofpIates in the Iiving room. -Are they oId? - Yeah. They are. Where would you find something like that, in an antique shop downtown? In England. (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1 How many times a day do you feed a dog like that? #2- How many times a day do you think he eats? #1- Four or five. #2- He eats once a day. Just once. #1- What does he Iike to drink? Water? #2- Yes, he drinks water. I would keep water out. #1- I've been leaving the toilet seats up. Yeah. The blue water's not good for him? That might account for something...Nothing...Just an odd coloration out on the grass. (full quote)
Marvin Acme Marcie Dahlgren-Frost. Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the Frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Marcie Dahlgren-Frost. Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the Frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen. #2- I'm sure you would. (full quote)
32822 (Tia)Mazie Did I Boss You (Mazie) No But You Said the S word 2 times but Only 1 time For Real (full quote)
33866 (Tia) No You Thank You Have shit (Maisy) Allright (full quote)
42505 Cigar? No, thank you. OK, let me know...I'll keep it nice and juicy for you (full quote)
42505 Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. (full quote)
marvin mcgoo Tia:You were suppose to be here at ten,its not even nine yet. Uncle Buck:Who said anything about that?I just thought you would like to join us for some ice cream.Maybe your bug can join us.We can talk about burying the hatchet.You know what a hatchet is don't you bug? Bug:Like an ax? Buck:Yea, sort of.I like to keep mine with me in case..say a someone has been drinking and about to drive a loved one home.I like to know I have it. I've been known to keep mine sharp enough to circumsize a nat. Wait a minuite.....bug....nat? Is there some similarity there?I think there is. Do you understand what I'm talking about?I dont think you do. You want to see it? I'll be right back. (Buck walks back to the car raises the trunk pulls out the hatchet and waives it in the air)Here is is!come on up and look at it!Ok maybe later! Bug:I better go Tia:He's all talk. (full quote)
marvin mcgoo 1.You know who I am?In the local live home entertainment I'M A GOD!!!! 2.Get in your mouse and leave (full quote)
marvin mcgoo Please,I wont need any money.I wont have any trouble cashing a two party out of town check would I? (full quote)
rhps2000 1) You don't know what you're doing. You're bored out of your mind. You need a little adult supervision. 2) Excuse me? (full quote)
rhps2000 I have said I love you. It wasn't for snow tires. It was for shocks, remember? (full quote)